Teen Titans Go! (2013–…): Season 3, Episode 17 - Two Parter: Part One/Two Parter: Part Two - full transcript

"Two Parter: Part 1 & 2"

Titans, can you feel it?

No, and I don't think I want to.

Well, I can! Something
in the air is telling me

- today is special!
- Special how, yo?


As in something is going to happen

that will take twice as long as
it usually does for us to resolve.

The increased amount of
time sounds the amazing!

Yes! Because every so often,
an event occurs that is...


A special event, if you will,

that propels us into an epic adventure.

I'm kind of busy.
When does this go down?

Just wait for it.
Keep waiting.

It'll be special.


Did you hear that?

The air conditioning broke down.


But, Robin, did we
not already experience

the breaking of the
conditioner of the air long ago?

- And that was not special at all.
- We had trouble using

that situation to fill
the normal amount of time.

I am telling you.

This is especial!

From this broken air conditioner,

we will set forth on our most
exciting adventure to date.

A double-length adventure,
perhaps divided into two distinct parts!

I'm feeling pretty hot, yo.

Feeling hot! Excellent!

Let's see where that takes us.

This does not feel like
the special event yet.

Uh, are you sure?
Pools can be pretty special.

You want something special?

- Great job.
- You ruined the pool, Cyborg!

This could be special!

- Hopefully.
- Bros, I'm still crazy hot.

I gots to cool off, and I
knows a special place to do it.

The Hall of Justice!
I like where things are going!

♪ Special! ♪

- Please stop saying "special."
- Just trying to get everyone hyped!

All right, I'm swimming.
Who's with me?

We are!


- This is special!
- Polo!

You know, you guys are
disrespecting the fountain

- with all your horseplay.
- Lighten up, bro. Come on in.

No way! What if the
Justice League catches us?

- Who cares?
- They'd never let me join if

they caught me swimming
in their fountain.

I did not know you wished to
join the League of Justice.

It's always been a dream of mine to be
a part of a first-rate superhero team.

- Maybe they'll take me someday.
- Ah, yes, first-rate.

I'd give anything to be a
member of the Justice League.

Wow. So touching, Cyborg.

But, you do know if they took anyone,
it would obviously be me, right?

So, stop worrying and get
in here. It feels great!

Ooh. I just found a warm spot.

- Ew.
- This warm water is really relaxing my muscles.

- Mmm.
- That's the warm embrace of justice, bro.

I would like the embracing
of the warm justice.

Uh, no! You really don't.

In fact, we should all get out now.

Good idea.
Since today is so


I think Cyborg should live his dream.

Come on, buddy. I'll introduce
you to the Justice League.

- I'm nervous, let's just go home.
- Nonsense.

You should meet them.
They'll love you.

You really think so?


- Ding dong ditch!
- No, don't leave me!

Ding dong ditch.
Ding dong ditch.

Ding dong ditch.
Ding dong ditch!

Uh, uh...


Hello, Wonder Woman.

You have a lovely home.
Is that jasmine I smell?

Greetings, Superman.
What a cape you have there.

It is red.

Man, this is lame.
No one is even home.

If the Hall of Justice is empty,
how about a little tour?

- Yes!
- No!

- Locked.
- Dude, we can't just let ourselves in.

Oh, no?
Then why did they leave a key?


- Look at this!
- Yeah!

Now, this truly is
a special, special, special event!

You say that, but nothing's
really happened yet.

But, we are filling
lots of time, which is...


This is special.

We are in the home of the greatest

superhero team of all time.
I feel inspired.

- I, too, feel the inspiration.
- Eh, not me.

So, what do you want to see first?

Of all the cool things in
here, you wanna see the fridge?

I thought the contents
would be more heroic.

Huh. Wonder Woman
really likes that yogurt

that makes you poop.

- Dibs on the sandwich.
- No, no, no, no, no!

That belongs to Batman!
His name is on it!

Come on, bro.
You really think Batman

- cares about a sandwich?
- Of course he does.

He's Batman!


Batman put an alarm on his sandwich?

Of course he did, he's Batman!

Area restricted to Justice
League members only.

Intruders will be detained.


Okay. That robot won't stop for
anyone but the Justice League.

So, suit up!

Uh, we are not gonna fool the robot by

putting on these costumes.
What a dumb idea.

Dibs on Batman!

Slow down, there, Raven.
I'm Batman.

Yo, I can be a bat.
Let me be Batman!

- I wish to be the Batman!
- I already called dibs. I'm Batman!

So sweaty.


Smells like vinegar.

And the sweaty cheese.

Of course he sweats.
He's Batman!

Or should I say,

"I'm Batman"?

- Beasty, you be Martian Manhunter.
- Who?

You know, the cool green dude from
Mars who hunts men all the time.

I wanna hunts me some mens.

Raven, you be Wonder Woman.

Great. So, all I get is a swim
suit, some bracelets and a rope?

That rope is the Golden Lasso.

Those bound by it are
forced to tell the truth.

Really? Hey, Batman.

Remember that wet spot on
your pants you said was water?

It was pee.

I said it was water,
but it was totally pee.

You try fighting crime after drinking

- too much cranberry juice!
- Cool.

- Ooh, who shall I be?
- How about The Flash?

I am the Flash! Flash, flash,
flash, flashety, flash, flash!

Nice moves, Flash.

Green Lantern approves.


- Sweet ring, bro.
- Thank you.

This ring is the most powerful
weapon in the universe.

It can manifest anything
with your willpower alone.

Witness its power!

Are those the Golden Girls?

You know it. What up, Bea?

That ring can manifest
any weapon imaginable,

and you choose the Golden Girls?

These sassy old broads are
the toughest ladies around.

When the chips are down, you want
the Golden Girls in your corner.

Wow. You'd make such a great
member of the Justice League.

It's okay, Bea. Not even your sardonic

one-liners can make
him a pal and confidant.

Okay. Be cool.
Play your parts or this won't work.

Area restricted to Justice
League members only.

Intruders will be detained.

Intruders! What?

We're the Justice League, baby.

Scan complete.

Welcome back, Wonder Woman.

Uh, yep. That's me.
How'd you know?

Them legs.

Well, then, we are
clearly the Justice League,

so you can stand down.

Identity unconfirmed.

State your name.

Green Lantern, obviously.
Check out the ring.

Which Green Lantern?
There are several.

Why would there be more than one?

I'm, uh, you know, uh, Steve.

There is no Green Lantern Steve.

Intruders will be detained.

Raven, help!

Never heard of her.

I think I'll try one of
the those poo yogurts.

Well, Cyborg, you did your
best trying to lead us.

But, we're still going to die...

Which is why they'd choose me over you

to be in the Justice League!

Good-bye, dear friends.

"Friends." That's it!

Thank you, Starfire.
Thank you for being a friend.

Bea Arthur in your face!

- How'd it go?
- Awesome, that's how.

- I told you today was a special event.
- Indeed.

But it took the same amount
of time as our other adventures.

The Justice League has
been captured by Darkseid.

Looks like this little adventure

has another part coming at you.

You know what that means.


Titans! It seems that the
second part of this special event

will entail saving the
Justice League from Darkseid.

The Dark Side?

Finally, we got some Star Wars
up in this piece!

Should I be dressed like Han Solo then?

And I will be the Bacca that chews.

Not "the Dark Side"!

Darkseid. The most dangerous
villain in the universe.

Powerful enough to
defeat any hero he faces.

- Even Superman?
- Yes.

- Batman?
- Yes.


Well, Spider-Man
wouldn't fight Darkseid...

- Is it because he is too lazy?
- What a bum!

You know, this really
lowers my opinion of Spider-Man.

We have to get to planet Apokolips,
and save the Justice League

from Darkseid's deadly grasp.

Fine. But let's change
into our own clothes first.

No way! We have to wear these costumes,

to honor the heroes we aspire to be!

But it's more than that! It's about
my dream to join the Justice League.

The history. The honor.
The justice.

In that case, I say we all
play pretend and act like dumb

little babies, so Cyborg can
live out his childish dream.

Thanks, Robin. Now, before
we save the Justice League,

there's something I always wanted to do.

Assembled in the mighty Hall of Justice

are the world's greatest heroes.

The Flash! The fastest person on Earth,
but needs to improve her endurance.

Batman! He always tells you his
name, so there's no confusion!

- I'm Batman.
- Wonder Woman!

- She's got bracelets, and a rope!
- And yogurt.

The Martian Manhunter!
Watch out, men!

Get back here, you mans!

And Green Lantern!
Almost as cool as Cyborg!

Who should totally be a member
of the Justice League one day...

Evil-doers beware!

These guys are doing things!

With their underwear on the outside!

Phew! Okay. Let's get to our vehicles.

We've got superheroes to save!

So, we all get our own vehicles?

Ooh, I can't wait to try out
Wonder Woman's invisible jet!

Okay, let's see here. Uh...

How do I... Hmm.
Guess I'll just pull this...


Umm... Maybe this one?

Oh! Yikes. Okay, okay.

I-I've got it now! I think...

Oops, sorry!


I, uh... Oh! One second...


Heh. That wasn't right...

I... guess we'll ride with you, then...

Everyone squeeze in.

Let's go.

So, this is Apokolips.


- Wow!
- Incredible.

Where's Martian Manhunter?

Still in the invisible John, bro!

Can you at least shut the door?

It is shut! See...

Close it! Close it!

You're out of invisible
toilet paper, Mama.

This is the most dangerous
planet in the universe!

To save the Justice League,

we'll have to use all
of our powers together!

Batman! You...

- Batman?
- I'm Batman.

- I need you to... Where'd he go?
- I'm Batman.

Listen, I just need you...
Stop disappearing dramatically!

What was that?
I'm Batman.

Stay still and listen!

- I can't. I'm Batman.
- Say, "I'm Batman," one more time.

I dare you. I double-dare you.

I'm Batman.


Ohh, you just got Bea Arthur-ed, son!

Thanks, Bea! Is there nothing
your deadpan sass can't fix?

There! It's the Justice League!

Batman, quick! Use your
batarangs to free them!


How dare you enter my home
and try to take what is mine!

Children should not meddle
in the affairs of adults.

That voice is so scary...

So gravelly, yo!

For your insolence, you will
be cast into the fires of...

Excuse me, Mr. Seid?
Would you care for a lozenge?

Uh... Yes, actually.

You appear to have the
scratchies of the throat.

Uh, I've been fighting this
cold for the longest time.

Mmm, mmm.

Mmm, mmm, mmm...

Mmm, oh, wow, thank you!
My throat feels so much better.

My pleasure.

Ah, yeah. Now, where was I?
Oh, yeah.

You will be cast into
the fires of Apokolips,

where you will burn for eternity!

Um... You're not...
You're not cowering in fear...

- Your voice isn't threatening anymore.
- Oh, come on!

I'm still terrifying.
You should be all trembling and stuff.

Maybe it'll help if you
tell us your evil plans.

Can't you see I have the
lives of the Justice League

literally hanging in the balance?

I press a button, and boom!
They're gone!

You do not sound like the kind of
person who would do such a thing.

Well, I'm also going to use the
Anti-Life Equation to destroy Earth.


Are you a bad guy, or
are you a math nerd, bro?

You know, this dude totally
sounds like someone...

I know!
Weird Al Yankovic!

- He so does!
- Yes, indeed!

Ah, yes, the great
singer of song parodies.

If only I was half as evil!

To earn a living by making
songwriters look like fools...


I dunno, I think it's all in good fun.

What's fun about undercutting
musicians by subverting their words

and compromising their
artistic integrity?

Weird Al is a true monster!

You take that back!
He is a national treasure!

A monster, I say!

That tears it!
You're going down, Darkseid!

Justice League, go!

- That's you guys.
- Huh?

Oh, yeah, okay.

Got my lasso...


Bracelet block, bracelet
block, bracelet block.

I'm gonna hunt me some mans!


How will we ever learn to balance cutting
humor and loving friendship without you?

You failed! The Justice
League will soon be no more!

And Earth will be destroyed!

Along with your precious Weird Al!

I may have failed as Green Lantern,
but I won't as Cyborg!



- You were the amazing, Cyborg!
- Really?

Thanks to you, we defeated Darkseid,
and saved the Justice League!

Forget what I just said.
You're a failure.

On the bright side,
there's a spot open on the

Justice League now! You
just defeated Darkseid,

so they're probably
going to take you, bro!

No! Not like this!
I failed them.

If only I could reverse time and
bring Martian Manhunter back...

Reverse time?
That's it!

I can send us back in time by
flying very fast around the planet,

causing it to spin in reverse,
creating time travel science!

- You mean like Superman did that one time?
- Exactly.

Time travel science!

- We're back!
- Quickly! Save the Martian Manhunter!

- Oops...
- Again!



- He did it!
- Now, let's open these things up!

- We're so bad at this!
- Again...

- They are safe.
- Let's just leave them here.

But they'll never know
that I defeated Darkseid

- and saved the world!
- Friend Cyborg, one day they will surely

recognize your strength and bravery.

Just be true to yourself,
and you will live your dream.

Thanks, Star. But to one day
call the Hall of Justice home...

like that'll ever happen.

This never gets old.
Okay, okay. Shh, shh, shh.

Ding, dong, ditch!


Hey, I see you!
Get back here, you scamp!