Teen Titans Go! (2013–…): Season 3, Episode 16 - Black Friday - full transcript

Starfire is visited by three ghosts and shown the true meaning of Black Friday.

"Black Friday"

Today I am reminded
I have much to be thankful for.

But most of all for my friends.

- Happy Thanksgiving, Titans.
- Hear, hear.

Friends, should we not take our time
and enjoy the giving thanks feasts.

Ah. No time.
We have to get ready for...

Black Friday!

Lines are already forming.

Oh, the Black Friday.

C'mon, Star.

Shove that can-shaped
cranberry log down your gullet.

We gotta get out there before
all the good stuff's gone.

Yeah, cranberry.

I cannot participate in
the Black Friday this year.

But Black Friday is the most
important holiday of the year.

I do not care for it.
The waiting in line,

the elbows, the buying
of the unnecessary items.

Black Friday is the one
holiday everyone can agree on.

- Because everyone loves a bargain.
- Standing in long lines,

so you can buy things for 70% off
is the ultimate act of love.

Starfire, are you forgetting
that it is written.

"Half off, 70-inch flat-screens.
A picture you'll love,

at a price she'll love."

That is just the advertisement
for an inexpensive television.

So beautiful.

I am sorry. But I must
Uncle Scrooge McDuck

you all and say the "Bah! Junebug!"

Yeah, cranberry.

I shall retire to the land of dreams
to escape the nasty Black Friday.

Who is making such a light?

It is I, the ghost of Black Friday past.

That is a lovely dress.

No, these are ghost robes.

You look like the belle of the ball.
Oh-ho! Beautiful!

These are old-timey
pajamas, not a gown!

Now, I have something to show you.
Come with me.

- I feel so under the dressed.
- It's just a robe!

It is the me!

It was the you.
That is your past self.

I recall this day.
The Black Friday of last year.

You wanted to buy a surround

sound system for a low-low price.

I wished for my friend Titans to enjoy

- the sound waves from all angles.
- But, look.


Excuse me.


- Oh, so polite and courteous.
- Ah.

If you had thrown an elbow,
you could have purchased that item.

- The item was unimportant.
- Was it? Come and see.

Ooh, are we going to
your princess' castle?

There is no castle!
And I am not a princess!

Because this is not a dress!

You came home and went to bed.

But your friends stayed up
to enjoy their new flat screen TV.

Okay, Beastie, light her up!

Why are they so unhappy?

Because of the poor sound quality!

- Man, this sounds terrible.
- It's making me hate TV.

- Oh, no.
- They are not immersed in a world of...

Directional sounds.

Stop this.

You could have saved them

from this lackluster viewing experience.

Show me no more.

Oh. It was only the
mares of the night time.

But did my actions truly
cause my friends such sadness?

I should join them.
Even though I will not

participate in the
barbaric bargain hunting.

- Hello, friends!
- Starfire.

Have you come to celebrate
Black Friday with us?

No. But I thought we
should spend the time

- together, regardless.
- Aw, that's sweet, Star.

- Back of the line!
- What?

Well, he was just saying,
"Back of the line!"

The front of the line
is for people who know

the true meaning of Black Friday.

You need to think about the
reason for the season, Star.

Can we not just share
in the camaraderie?

- No cuts, no buts, no coconuts.
- But...

I said, "No, buts."

Back of the line!

Where is everyone?


What up, y'all? We are...


Come in and know us
better, young mortal.

Can I offer you a burger?

- Or would you like a delicious burrito?
- So many.

- It was buy one...
- Gets infinity free!

But how can this be?

If Black Friday lives in your
heart, any deal is possible.

That's what's up! But we're
here for another reason.

To show you, what you're
missing tonight. Behold!

- They appear to be the miserable.
- Look closer, young mortal.

- Here you go, mama.
- Thanks.

- It's so cold tonight.
- I got you.



They are not screaming at one another.

And Robin has not struck
anyone with his stick!

That's the spirit of
Black Friday, young mortal.

Don't you wanna share all
this with your friends?

It would be nice to spend
the time of bonding with them.

But, the Black Friday is not the way.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah, you sure?

- Are you sure, you sure?
- Stop it.

- You sure, really sure, sure?
- Please.

You sure, sure, sure?
Really, really sure?

Stop it!

Stop! Stop it.
Stop it.

Only the dream.

Friends! Friends!
Where are you?

Fellow consumers, you do not need

to behave like the savages.

There are plenty of television sets.

What good is it to gain
an inexpensive computer

only to lose your souls?

Another ghost.

Yup. I'm the ghost
of Black Friday future

and blah, blah, blah.
Come on.

Are you here to extoll the
virtues of the Black Friday?

Nah, I'm just gonna show
you all the horrible things

that will happen if you
don't change your ways.

My friends.

Are they doing the criminal
investigation in this filthy alley?

Without you they paid
too much for their electronics.

Now, they live here
with the rats in filth.

No. Where is friend Cyborg?

Trampled to death, trying
to buy a laptop, 90% off.

Super amazing deal.

Oh, no, no, no.

I will change my ways.

I will honor the Black
Friday in my heart.

Oh, please, spirit, please.


You there. The boy.

- What day is it?
- Why, Black Friday, miss.

Then it is not too late
to make the changes.

Out of my way!

Looks like this is it.

So much for my reward points.

We were so close.

Those low-low prices.


We have the bargain sale hunt!
Move, move, move!

I shall have the equipment
of sound for mine own!

I can't believe the savings on
these consumer electronics, yo!

We couldn't have cleaned up
like this without you, Star.

I am just happy to spend
the time with the friends.

And the new surrounding sounding system.

Behold. It is I, Buster,

the spirit of Black Friday!

I wanna thank you, Titans,

because of your belief in Black Friday!

...the people of Earth are
saving like never before!

And you Starfire, you radiate

the true spirit of Black Friday!

...like no other.
Because of you,

all of the Titans should be
saved from paying full price.


Not 70% off.

Not 80% off.

But 99% off!

Shop till you drop, young Titans.

May the spirit of Black
Friday be with you.


And also with you.