Teen Titans Go! (2013–…): Season 2, Episode 41 - Kicking a Ball and Pretending to Be Hurt - full transcript

Robin teaches the Titans how to play soccer. They quickly become obsessed, and accidentally uncover the secret reason why the sport is so popular.

2x41 - "Kicking a Ball and
Pretending to Be Hurt"

Titans, as you all know, today is...

Sports Day!

- I did not know that.
- I didn't know either, brah.

You guys know it's Sports Day, right?

- No.
- Whatcha talkin' about?

I see.
Allow me to bring you all up to speed.

Today is Sports Day!

Sports Day!

Why do I even bother printing up flyers?

Today, we will be playing the
world's most popular sport...


Football? I love football!

- I didn't say we're playing "football."
- Uh, pretty sure you did, bro.

Uh, no, bro, I said
we're playing "futb?l."

Football? I love football!

And he's going to the 50...
And he's going to the 40...

- No, we are not playing football!
- Uh, I'm so confused, bro.

We are playing futb?l.
Also known as soccer.

- Boooo!
- Ugh.

Don't nobody care about soccer!

It is the most tedious
of athletic events.

It's just people kicking a ball
and then pretending to be hurt.

I don't like "sock-her" either.
I prefer "sock-him!"


- You get it?
- Ha! I do get it. That's good.

Around the world, futb?l
ignites the passions of the soul.

It can bring a nation
together or tear it apart.

Most importantly, it is
a metaphor for the miracle of life.

Are we still talking about soccer?

Stop calling it soccer!
It's futb?l!

You know, I've always thought
there was something sinister

about the sport. How can people
get so worked up over a ball?

It does seem unlikely a dull game

could inspire such
intense emotions, Robin.

What about that time when
Cyborg played duck, duck, goose?

The duck, the duck...

the goose.

I am the goose!

The goose!

I'm coming for ya!

No one escapes the goose!

Futb?l is a beautiful game.

Now, say it, and let
it live in your hearts.


- Football?
- No, "futb?l."

- Futb?l.
- With passion!

- Futb?l!
- That's starting to sound international.

- Sock-him.
- Ow!

I'm hilarious.

Great energy!
Now let's take the field!

We look like the
athletics professionals.

Uh-huh. Oh, yeah.
I gots me some shin pads, yo.

- Kick me as hard as you can.
- Seems like a bad idea.

Come on, I won't feel a thing.

- It's shin armor, brah.
- Okay.

Ow, my shin!

You broke my shin!

I too wish to test the shin armor.

They're not guarding anything!
Not a thing!

Oh, you guys playing
sock-him, too? Cool.

All right, enough horseplay, guys.
Let's get to the basics.

Because no one plays soccer
in our country, I've had

this ball shipped to us from
halfway around the world.


What a good-looking ball!

Ooh, a collection of pentagons
and hexagons forming a sphere.

- It's made out of science, yo!
- Stylish.

It is true.
The futb?l is the most stylish

piece of equipment in all of sports.

Now, this is an easy game to learn.

You just have to put
the ball in the goal.

No problem!

Swish! Two points.

No points.

- You can't use your hands.
- What?

Things just got super weird!

But how does one manipulate the
ball without using the hands?


Oh, dudes, we use our foots.

- But I don't have feet.
- Yes, you do.

Oh, yeah,
I forgot about those.

Now, pay attention as
I demonstrate a proper futb?l kick.


There, I've scored a goal in
the appropriate futb?l style.

Now let's celebrate by saying
"goal" as long as possible.

- Goal.
- What is this, baseball?

- The gooo...
- Unacceptable.


Not long enough.


That's what I'm talking about!

Now, let's fut this bol!



How could you do me like that?

Coach, I can't go on.

Futb?l isn't boring at all.

In fact, I feel like I'm standing on

the precipice of greatness!

I am a pillar of light
in a world of darkness!

We're taking our first
steps into a new life, bro!

The futb?l life!

Why are we feeling such
intense of the emotions?

- These feelings, they don't make sense.
- Of course they do.

This beautiful, ha,
magical ball, ooh,

was the key to unlocking our passions.

Still, something about
this feels unnatural...

but I can't argue with my feelings!


- Hey, Rave, could you pass the milk?
- Sure thing.



- Excuse me, bro.
- Whoa!

The pain!

The pain!

A red card?
You've got to be kidding me!

I barely touched him.

I don't wanna hear it.
You're out of here!

You need to get your eyes checked!

I never want to stop the running!

I feel so invigorated.

We've never lived our
lives with such emotion.

That's right.
We've all been invigorated

by this magical, little futb?l.


- Your hands!
- You're using your hands, bro!

Whoa. What happened?

Were we liking the soccer?

What is that?


- Who are you?
- I'm a soccer troll!

My people are magical beings

that evoke intense passion
for the game of soccer.

So, you guys use magic to
make people like soccer?

Our King Goal, Ruler
of Soccer, commands it.

- So, soccer really is boring.
- Of course.

Watching people kick
a ball and pretend to be hurt

- is the most boring thing in the world.
- Yeah, that's what I said.

King Goal knew the only
way to create interest

in his dull sport was to use magic.

No wonder the game stirs such
proud but unearned emotions.

What a monstrous sport!

It's time people see soccer
for what it really is.

Soccer troll.
Take us to your leader.

Well done, Titans.

You've uncovered my centuries-old
plot to make soccer interesting.

Give it up, Goal. No more
magic-ing people into liking soccer.

I must or the sport would never survive.

It's just people kicking a
ball and pretending to be hurt.

- Who would watch that?
- One way or another,

we're going to settle this.

Then how about on the field?

One goal.

Sudden death.

And if we win, you call
back all the soccer trolls.

- And if we lose?
- Sudden death.

I said "sudden death," didn't I?

Thought I said "sudden death."

Sudden death!


He is really good.

You lose, Titans.
Time to die.

You're forgetting one thing, Goal.

The Titans are sore losers!


In the face!


Okay! Okay! Okay!
You win.

I'll call back my soccer trolls.


I said, "you win."

- So boring. Ugh.
- Hey, who wants to go bowling?

Yeah, bowling, I can do that.

Yeah, bowling!

Who are you?

I'm a magical bowling turkey.