Teen Titans Go! (2013–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - Dog Hand - full transcript

Raven's demon dad, Trigon, comes to visit, and wins over her friends in an effort to get her to embrace dark magic and become evil like him.

1x07 - Dude Relax

Titans go!

As soon as we get an alert
on my communicator.

Hopefully, at any moment now.

- Crime?
- More like microwave popcorn.

- Want some?
- Make me a bag.

But remain vigilant.
It must not burn.

Aye-aye. Weirdo.

We've gone a whole week
without a crime alert.

I think it's starting
to get to him.

Yeah, Robin is definitely going
through mission withdrawal.

That would explain the
involuntary eye movement.

- Titans!
- What! - What!

- Still nothing to report.
- Come on, dude.

- Chill out.
- Yes, Robin.

Perhaps you should take
advantage of the lull

in criminal activities in
order to do "the relax."


Uh, you do know how
to relax, don't you?

I can relax circles
around you fools.

Says the guy who tried to turn
sleeping into a competitive sport.

On your mark, get set, sleep.

Well, it's just as leader, I'm
not used to going this long

without doing
something productive.

But, I can totally take it
easy until there's an alert.

Good, 'cause that's
what we're gonna do.

Ah, something happen, please!

You are just the prettiest,
high performance,

low-emission muffler I've ever seen.
Yes, you are.

- Hey, Cyborg. You relaxing?
- I was.

- Mind if I join you?
- Yes.

Looks like we've got a
lot of work ahead of us

if we want this to be ready
for the next mission.

I'm just tinkering, Robin. Not
trying to save the world.

I bet we could rebuild this
whole engine pretty quick.

Knock it out in 15,
16 hours tops.

- Ooh.
- You mind relaxing somewhere else?


Care to join me in the earth
relaxation ritual of a spa mask?

I've made mine of gorka berries,
pickles and cream cheese.

Is it not like a million little
toes dancing on your face?

Can you feel the invasion
of your pore holes?

And can you feel the alpha hydroxy
acid I added to deaden our

nerve endings and increase our pain
tolerance for the next mission?

Acid? Is that why it feels
like the little toes

are dancing more vigorously?

That means it's working.

Feel the burn.

Oh, I am feeling the burn.

And I do not like it!

- Interesting fact about bonsai...
- No.

Missed a spot.

Hey, Robin. Wanna play fetch?
Uh, catch.

Sounds super relaxing.

And an opportunity to see if my
arm exercises have been working.


Your turn. Ready when
you are, Beast Boy.

Okay, let's go.

I'm waiting.

You couldn't just relax
for one afternoon?

You guys may not like it,

but my job as leader is to
always remain vigilant.

Yes, finally! Titans, go!

Take hold of your horses, Robin.

- You are going nowhere.
- Yeah.

You're staying here until you
learn to take it easy, bro.

- And how are you gonna stop me?
- With this.

Whatever that is it's not gonna
keep me from the mission...

If you try to leave the tower,

that collar will activate
an electric fence.

As the leader of this
group, you can't tell me...

- This is for your own good, Robin.
- So enjoy your day off.

That's very funny.
Now knock it off!


Oh, wait for me.

You really think a
little shock will...

So much hurt.

Uh-huh. I know how to
help on the mission.

Starfire, you need to build up
speed for a better trajectory.

My flying is not the problem.

Bye, Robin.

- Raven, maybe the...
- No.

Cyborg, look out!

Oh, come on.

Beast Boy, go pterodactyl!

Titans, focus!

- Robin, chill out.
- Robin, chill out.

Beast Boy, what are you doing here?
I thought you were at the battle.

Oh, right. Forgot you
were home, dude.

- I was just gonna hang out here today.
- But I just saw you there.

Sometimes I replace myself with
an animal I painted green.

Beast Boy, help me!

That explains a lot.

I've got to figure out a way to remove
this collar and get back out there.

Or you could just relax.

I just can't for some reason.

It's so easy for everyone
else to just chill out.

I've tried, but it
just doesn't happen.

I don't even know
where to start.


You're more uptight
than I thought, dude.

Just think of
nothing and no one.

Ignore all outside distractions.
Here's your test.

For the rest of the
day, no communicator.

- No communicator. No problem.
- That's a start. Now stand up.

Look at it.

You've barely even left a
butt print on the couch.

In order to truly relax,

you've gotta learn to
be one with the couch.

Be one with the couch?

Just follow the master.

Okay, is there like a
specific way I should hum?

Like, in a minor key?

Or should I go with a major?

- Or maybe...
- Shh.

Let go, and be one
with the couch.

- What? How are you doing that?
- Just find your chill, bro.

Wait, I have more questions!
Beast Boy, don't leave me!

Dude, what are you doing?

What if it's an emergency?

Ah, fine. Go answer it.

It'll be quick.

I knew you couldn't relax
for even one afternoon.

Guess we finally found something
that I'm better at than you.

Beast Boy better at
something than me?

Just think of
nothing and no one.

Ignore all outside distractions.

I will master oneness
with the couch.

Who are you?

I am the couch.

Tell me what it is
that you seek, baby.

I wish to relax, your couchness.

You have mastered
the first step.

But something is keeping
you from truly relaxing.

Yeah, it's because I'm the leader,
and leaders must stay vigilant.

That is not why you
cannot relax, my man.

Then why?

That is something
you must find out

For yourself.

Hey! Hey, where did you go?

The circus where I grew up.

This is the last place I remember
being able to really relax.

Being a baby was the greatest.

Hey, that's mine.

Give it back!

It's all coming back to me.
Every time I let my guard down

you jerky circus animals
would take my stuff.

That's why I've always
been so vigilant.

Indeed. All because a
monkey stole your diaper.

Not the reason I was expecting.

Now, take the day off and relax.

The animals can't
bother you anymore.

You're right. They can't.


Sorry. It's my day off.

Robin, we need you!

- Answer your communicator.
- Why is Beast Boy just sitting there?


1x08 - Laundry Day


Great idea, Robin. Blowing
up the slime monster.

It was either that, Raven, or the
total destruction of Jump City.

Look at us. We're covered
with smelly, evil, space goo.

It's even in my nose.

Not part of the slime
monster, Beast Boy.

Our costumes were due for
a major washing anyway.

But whose turn is it to do this
most disagreeable of chores?

Uh, you know, they're
not that dirty.

What's a couple more
weeks without soap?

Okay, someone is gonna
have to wash them.

And there's only one
fair way to decide who.

You mean, go by the chores list?

What chores list?

The only way to decide is by
a series of epic contests,

where the loser has
to clean our clothes.

Titans, go!

You blinked. No, you blinked!

No, I saw you blink!

Nah-ah, you did. And I win!

I have won the hot
dog eating contest.

Ahem. After compiling
the results,

it looks like the Teen Titan
stuck with laundry duty is...


It was supposed to
be your turn, Robin.

I have no idea what
you're talking about.

Really? Okay, then I'll
need your clothes.

Stop staring at my circuits!

Uh, you guys should probably
put some clothes on.

I need my suit!

So, what exactly gets out
evil alien slime stains?

Nothing's working.

This is a nightmare!

And it's all Robin's fault.
If I see that weasel again...

Oh, you want me to let you in?

I suppose I could,
If you agree to do

the laundry like
you're supposed to.

Last chance.

All right, let's see what
we got in the old closet.

Too spikey.

Too brainy. Nope. Nope.

Nope, nope, nope.

How did that get in my closet?

I need my suit back.

Laundry day has given
me the perfect excuse

to take up that most
fascinating of earth hobbies.


It appears to be a
straightforward process.

Now, let us see how I have done.

Glorg borger! It's hideous!

Perhaps I did not
use enough milk?

I need my suit back!

♪ Tofu, tofu, gonna
eat me some tofu ♪

♪ tofu in my mouth ♪

♪ tofu in my mouth ♪

♪ tofu in my mouth ♪

Oh, great.

With my robot army,

soon all of Jump City
will be under my control.

Do I really have to
deal with this now?

Ah, the boy blunder.

If you think the Teen
Titans can stop my...


You aren't wearing any pants.

This ends now! Or I'm going
to have to come over there.

- Don't think I won't, Gizmo.
- Uh, no, no. Stay over there.

I'll take over the
world another time.

We need our clothes.

You better have our suits ready.

Uh, that's gonna be a problem.

Are those our clothes?

The slime's taken them over.

You call that washing
them, Raven?

Maybe you should have done
them yourself, Robin.

Like you were supposed to.

Guys, we've got bigger
problems than that now.

- Then there's only one thing to do.
- Titans, go!

Our clothes are putting us on.

This is not a good look.



Don't you...

This is the nastiest
load of laundry ever!

Not how I thought we'd go out.

It was my turn to do laundry.
I'm sorry, Raven.

The truth is, if we can
only get out of this,

I'd do all the Teen Titans'
laundry for the next year.

That's just what I
was waiting to hear.

Azarath metrion zinthos!

Wait. It wasn't the slime that
took control of our clothes?

Nope, it was a magic spell.

You tricked me!

And now you get to do laundry
for the next year. Sucker!

Look, we have another alert.

A creature made of fruit
juice and barbecue sauce

is terrorizing the city!

Oh, man. That sounds messy.

Titans, go.