Teen Titans Go! (2013–…): Season 1, Episode 20 - Staff Meeting - full transcript

1x24 - Matched

Did you put root
beer in my tea cup?

It's better than that gross
chameleon tea you drink.

- Chamomile.
- Whatever.

Just make a move already.
This is so boring.

When are you going to understand?
Chess requires...

Boring! Boring! Boring!
Boring! Boring!

Clearly this was a mistake. I'm
gonna just meditate instead.

Beast Boy! Shh.

Hey, guys.

You are not gonna believe
what Cyborg just did.



- Oh.
- Can it wait?

I was about to permanently banish
Beast Boy into another dimension.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can banish him later.
Check it out.

I created a computer program that
analyzes all of your personality traits

and matches them with your
ideal superhero mate.

And why would you waste
your time with that?

Because Robin wants to prove he's
a perfect match for Star. Ow!

Ahem. Okay. Let's get started.

Are we sure it is wise to let
the machine decide who we love?

And Starfire's ideal match is...

Please be me. Please be me. Please be me.
Please be me. Please be me.

Please be me. Please be me.
Please be me.

Aquaman!

Aqua... What?



Guess what? Actually, that's me.
What...

Die, computer scum!
Die, die, die!

My turn.

- Raven.
- Raven? - Raven?

Raven? Uh, me?

No. That must be a mistake.

Hey. Computers never lie.

Wow. This changes everything.

You can't actually be
taking this seriously.

I'm willing to give it...
to give "us" a shot.

If you are. Ow!

Yo, girl. Have you been using
the power of telepathy again?

I don't have the
power of telepathy.

Because you've been
on my mind all day.

Why are you wearing
sunglasses indoors?

I have to wear them.

Because our future is so
bright together, mama.

Ow!

So you and the old
king of the sea?

Who would have thunk it, huh?

I give no credence
to your machine.

But I admit Aquaman does possess
many admirable qualities.

And he's quite fit.

- You know who else is fit?
- What am I looking at?

It's like I can see everything!

You are not wearing the
shirt or the pants.

Yep. Just got back
from the pool.

Swam about 200 laps. No biggie.

I have never seen
anything so pale before!

Oh, the reflection!

It's making me blind!
I'm going blind!

I must go feed the Silkie now.

Well, before you go, the
exits to the room are...

there...

And there.

Ooh, did I step in gum? Look at that calf.
You can cut diamonds.

I've never been so
uncomfortable in my life!

Let me out! Let me out of here!

You are a Raven, and I a dove.

And even though we are different,
we are meant to be in love.

Oh, come on.

That took me, like, all
day to come up with.

And it'll take me
all day to forget.

How about a little
romantic horsey back ride?

What is that smell?!

You're probably picking
up on my pheromones.

You know, my chemical scent.

I know what pheromones are, but
all I smell is rotten fish!

I... can't... breathe.

- Hey, Star.
- Greetings.

Smell anything you like?

Go away.

Raven, it takes two to
make a relationship work.

We don't have a relationship.
Give it up.

I have never given up
on anything in my life.

And I am not giving up on us.

What are you talking about?
You give up all the time.

I give up.

If you can give me one reason
we're not meant to be together,

- I'll walk away right now.
- Hmm, well...

you're rude, you smell,
you're annoying,

you say "bro" and
"dude" too much,

I hate the color green,
your voice irritates me,

tofu makes me sick,
you're irresponsible,

all you do is play video
games, you can't tie a tie,

you're messy, you chew
with your mouth open,

your face gives me the
creeps, your jokes are dumb,

your pranks are stupid, your
dancing embarrasses me,

you're lazy, you're dumber than
the animals you turn into,

your clothes are always
covered in pizza stains.

Wow. No one's ever
known me like you do.

Ow!

Is that a shark tank
in the living room?

Where did you get
the sharks from?

Is that even safe?
What's wrong with you?

Yep. Chicks dig a guy who can
communicate... with fish.

I did not realize you had a
fondness for marine life.

Oh, yeah. Me and fish?
We're like this.

It's like I have this
connection with them, you know.

See?

We're having a lovely
little chit chat...

I'm fine.

Do you think we should help him?

Whoa, whoa! Just a
little miscommunication.

No. Let him talk his way out.

I'm okay.

He will not leave
you alone, will he?

No. Ever since Cyborg's
computer matched us,

he's convinced we're
meant to be together.

- And you are not?
- Of course not.

I want someone who
thinks and acts like me.

Hey, Raven. Hey, Starfire.

Look, I know what you're doing
and it's not gonna work.

Oh, come on! Just
give me a chance.

Please. Pretty please
with scary things on top.

Look, I painted my fingernails
black for you, Raven.

No. Let me make myself clear.

I want nothing to do with you...
ever!

- Beast Boy.
- Yes?

- I think I wanna make this thing work.
- You mean it?

Oh.

Raven...

Will you marry me?

This is beautiful.

I guess Beast Boy and I
were meant to be together.

I've never been so happy.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hold the bacon.

There was a tiny,
teensy, eensy, weensy

little glitch in my
matchmaking program.

You mean, I might not be
Beast Boy's ideal match?

Only one way to find out.

Looks like Beast Boy's
ideal match is...

the scratching post.

- A scratching post?
- Hey. Computers never lie.

How could I have been so blind?

Wait. This means Starfire's
match isn't Aquaman!

It might be me after all.

Starfire's match is...

also a scratching post.

Maybe that glitch
wasn't so eensy-weensy.

I don't think so. This
feels real to me.

The post for scratching
is meant to be with me!

It was mine first!

Why do I even try?