Teen Titans Go! (2013–…): Season 1, Episode 18 - Starliar - full transcript

When Starfire is the only Titan invited to the Titans East Annual Dance Party, Beast Boy teaches her how to lie so that she can spare the other Titans' feelings - but her lies turn all of the Titans against each other.

1x22 - Artful Dodgers

Return the eye of hamashabi
to the museum, Jinx,

and we'll go easy on you.

You can try and take it from us.

Or you can save everyone in the
museum which we've rigged to blow.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, little guy!

Why would you go and do something
like that? That's dangerous.

Because now you're gonna have to choose!
Us, or them!

That doesn't seem very
fair, if you ask me.

It's not supposed to be fair!
It's a diversion.

So we can, you know, get away.

Well, you should be ashamed!

Your actions are
quite underhanded.

Yeah! That's why we did it!

To be underhanded!

Gizmo, cloak us.

Titans, go!

Explosives disarmed.

Priceless artifact retrieved!

Bad guys captured.

Basically, we win. Again.

And you know why? Because
cheaters never prosper.

Never ever.

Great win out there! This, of course,
is no time to rest on our laurels.

We have bigger fish to fry.

- You mean...
- What else could I mean?

Defending our title as
Dodge Ball champions?

All right! Ah!


Yeah, boy!

That's right.

League starts up again in a few
days and we've got to be ready!

Perhaps this is the year
you will let Raven and I

participate in the
dodging of balls.

Yeah. It's a complex game, Star.

I wouldn't wanna put you out
there until you're ready.

"Complex". You hit someone
in the face with a ball,

and you hit someone else
in the face with the ball.

I know! Is there a
more perfect game?

Hey! Who wants to see
the new uniform?

Team Titans is gonna
be looking sharp, yo!

"Team Titans"? What a
super, super name!

- Who came up with that again?
- That would be me.

Wow. You replaced
"teen" with "team".

Mind blown.

Looking good out there is gonna
take more than fancy uniforms.

We'd better practice...

Our victory dance!

- Yeah, boy!
- Oh, yeah!

Uh, shouldn't we be
practicing the actual game?

Psst! Practice?

She talking about practice?
Yeah, we got this.

Reigning champs, baby!
Nobody can stop us.

Yep. Looks like easy
pickings again this year.

Oh! Then why can't you let
Starfire and me play?

You know exactly why, Raven.

I'll consume your souls
for that, mortal swine!

But I have never eaten
any of our opponents.

Maybe not the opponents.

Look, we know you're not
happy sitting on the bench.

But trust us, we've got
a plan for you two.

- Oh, really?
- You'll be our secret weapons.

I always wanted to
be a secret weapon!

We might come up against a team
that we won't be able to beat.

And then, just when they least
expect it, we'll unleash you two.


You have no intention
of playing us, do you?

- Uh-uh.
- No. You ate someone, remember?

But you can help us with the Team Titans'
theme song when they introduce us!

And now, Team Titans!

♪ When there's Dodge Ball
you know who to call ♪

♪ Team Titans ♪

♪ that thing flying at
your face, a ball ♪

♪ Team Titans ♪

♪ When there's balls
you need to avoid! ♪

♪ Winning Strategy
must be emloyed! ♪

♪ We're the guys and girls
who know how to throw ♪

♪ Team Titans, go! ♪

♪ One, two, three, four throw! ♪

- Team Titans!
- Team Titans!

Great job on the "Team
Titans Go" part!

No one sings the same words over and
over like you guys. No, they don't.

- And now!
- What's that?

Your starting lineup for the H.I.V.E.

The H.I.V.E.!

Weighing in at 2,500 pounds,

He's a hulk with the most bulk.

He's big, he's strong,
he looks like King Kong!

Here's Mammoth!

Standing only 3'2", but
packing one genius IQ.

He may be short, but he's
a killer on the court!

It's a bird, it's a plane,
it's a dwarf with a jet pack.

Here's Gizmo!

You can't run, you can't duck,
from the lady of bad luck!

She's the duchess of dodge, the
H.I.V.E.'s very own. Jinx!

Also warming the bench,

See-More and Billy Numerous.

- How did they...
- Get those fireworks?

Yeah, that's where I
was going with that.

Fireworks. Not how did
they break out of prison,

or even how did they join
the Dodge Ball league?

How did they get those fireworks?

Nice uniforms, losers!

Losers? You're the ones
about to get taken down...

Dodge Ball style!

Why are we benched again?

- What just happened?
- I think we lost.

Even their victory
dance is better.

Our biggest haul yet.

Hold it right there!

If it's a fight you want...

Actually, it's a rematch that we would
like to have with you, right now.

So, you're not here
to take us to jail?

We won't take you down
until we take you down...

Dodge Ball style!

So, this really isn't
about robbing the bank?

Will you get it through
your thick evil skull?

We just wanna play
some Dodge Ball!

A rematch? Okay, sure.

- Can we...
- Sit on the bench and cheer us on?

Of course you can!
Now, off you go.

- How could anyone beat us?
- Twice!

The league's championship
game is coming

up and we don't have a chance!
Not a chance!

Did it ever occur to you to
practice the actual game

and not just your
stupid victory dance?

- Practice... the game?
- Why, this could change everything!

You know, I don't really
feel like practicing.

- Me either.
- Yeah, that does sound like a lot of work.

Then there's only
one way to win.

We cheat!

We use our powers!

We poke them in the eye!

We take any advantage we can!

This is Dodge Ball! We win
by any means necessary.

But, Robin! We are heroes,
and heroes never cheat!

- This isn't cool.
- Would it be cool if we let you play?

- We're in.
- We're in.

You guys may rule out there.

- But in here, we are the heroes!
- We'll see about that!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! You
guys are cheating!

No fair!

Somebody better call
the wah-mbulance.

You guys are about to go down...

Dodge Ball style!

I can't believe we lost!

- Oh, for the third time, man!
- We're not licked yet, guys.

We won!

By default, baby!

Victory dance!