Taxi (1978–1983): Season 4, Episode 24 - The Road Not Taken: Part 2 - full transcript

Latka, and Alex share their past, as for how they got where they are now.

(theme song playing)

So, whatever
happened to
Heather?

Interesting
you should bring that up.

I ran into her not long ago.

I almost walked right by her.

I wouldn't have recognized her
in a million years,

except for one little thing
that never changes.

What's that?

My name.

She yelled, "Hey, Jim!"

Jim, Jim, Jim.



Heather?

You-you were in college?
Uh-huh.

You had the education.
You had the wealth.

You had the opportunities,
and you threw that all away.

Now, you have nothing.

I have peace of mind.

Yeah, a very small piece.

Maybe one sixteenth.

Hey, uh, Elaine, have these
stories helped you any?

Uh, yeah, a little bit.

Yeah, but you know
what's really gonna help

is that my kids are coming here
after school.

I mean, they're an important
part of this decision,

and I've got to hear
what they think.



Yeah.
JIM:
Good idea, Elaine.

We gain from experience,

but we lose the wisdom that
comes from childlike simplicity.

Right, Latka?

Why-why are you asking me?

There are
three other people here.

I thought
I'd ask the wisest.

Oh...oh.
(snorting)

All right, wise guy. That does
it. You say good-bye to your...

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
No, no, no,
no, Latka!

Come on. No.
Latka, come on.

Don't you have some kind
of turning point story?

I bet you do. Come on, I bet
you can tell me a good one.

It'll really help me a lot.

Yes, I do, as a matter of fact,
and it will tear your heart out.

(wind whistling)

(speaking native language)

No.

Eh, dong ding, dong ding.

Dong ding.

Dong ding.

Dong ding?

(speaking in native language)

Ding dong.

Oh!
Ding dong.

Ding dong, ding dong.

Dong ding.

Latka...

Latka...

(speaking native language)

Latka, Latka...

Latka...

No!

Si.

No!

No.

No!

Ja.

Latka...

Mama...

Oh, Mama... Mama.

Bye-bye, Mama.

(Latka and Jim sobbing)

I-I-I miss Mama so much.

Latka, I'm sorry I called
you simple and childlike.

Oh, it's okay,
sponge brain.

LOUIE:
Halt!

What do you kids want?

We're looking
for Mommy.

Oh, Mommy, how cute.
Give me a buck.

(Elaine laughs)

Come on, you guys,
don't look.

You remember Alex and Tony,
don't you?

Oh, hi, Alex.
Hi, guys.
Jennifer.
Hey, Tony.

Sit down.

So, what's the
big emergency?

Oh, well, it's not
an emergency exactly.

It's that,

um... well, I've been
offered a new job,

and the man wants
to know about it right away,

so I thought I'd ask you guys

and what you thought
before I told him anything.

Take it.
Yeah, take it.

Well, wait a minute.

We've got some things
to consider here.

Like what? Leaving
all this behind?

Yeah, all this?

Jennifer, don't you have
a mind of your own?

No, she doesn't.
No, I don't.

Jennifer, stop that.

She's just being cute.

(Alex chuckles)

Okay, all right,
we're going to move to Seattle.

Wait a minute.
What's this about Seattle?

Oh, well-well,
that's where the job is.

Oh, it's on, it's on
the Pacific Ocean,

and there's plenty
of fresh air and sunshine

and wide open spaces,
and you kids will have

a lot of nice kids
to play with.

How's the money?

The money's good.

How's the TV reception?

Good, I suppose.

Take it.
Yeah, take it.

Are you sure?

Mommy, we love you
and trust you

and know you'll make
the right decisions.

Oh...
Yeah!

Guess whose
birthday is
coming up?

Mommy, can we go now?
The carpool is waiting.

Sure.
Yeah,

you know how snarky
those people get.

Come here, give me a hug.

A big hug.

All right.

Mm!
Okay... bye.

Guess we'd better go.
I know.

Bye-bye. I'll
see you later.
Bye!

Bye.
JASON:
See you, Alex.

Bye, Tony.

(sighs)

(chuckles)

The kids are leaving
it up to me.

Mm-hmm.

So, it's my decision.
(sighs)

Well, I guess that moving to
Seattle would be best for them.

What about you?

Well, I don't want to go,

but no, no, it wouldn't
be horrible for me either.

I mean, it's really a
very good opportunity.

And if I don't take it, ugh,

I could spend the rest
of my life here like, uh...

Like...
Like me?

Well, no offense, Alex,

but I'm a little bit more
ambitious than you are.

Oh, it's no big deal.

My shorts are more
ambitious than I am.

It wasn't always like that,
Elaine, you know.

(chuckles)
Sure, Alex.

No, it wasn't.

Let me just tell you
a little story

about, uh, ambition
and Alex Reiger.

(horns honking)

Mr. Ambrose
will see you now.

Oh, God.

Uh, Alex?
Huh?

Why don't you relax?

I'm sure you got the promotion.

Boy, that'd be something, huh?

Me, regional manager.

Alex!

Hi, Mr. Ambrose.
Nice to see you again.

Hey, y-y-you want a drink?

Uh, thank you, Mr. Ambrose.

Yes, I would.
I see.

Excuse me, was that
because I accepted a drink?

Yeah, as a matter of fact,
it was.

Don't, don't let it bother you.

Here, sit down.
Thank you.

Uh, it says here you're
a pretty industrious guy.

It says you're taking six
credits at night school,

your efficiency reports
are all top-notch,

you support a wife and child.

It says you even drive
a cab on the weekends.

Yeah, and if this
doesn't work out,

I'll be driving
a cab full time.
(chuckles)

(sighs)
Let's hope it doesn't
come to that.

Yeah, right.

Well, all right, tell me
something about yourself, Alex.

Just be informal.

Well, I think I'd be
a great regional manager.

No, no, no, I want to know
something about you.

Oh, oh, you mean,
you want to know

something personal about me?
Exactly.
Oh.

Okay, uh, well,

something personal is,
uh... well, I guess

you might say that I'm kind of
a private type of person

and, uh, with all due
respect, Mr. Ambrose,

I don't see what this
has to do with the job.

Uh, in case you haven't
noticed, Mr. Reiger,

I intend to bust your butt
a little in this interview,

you know, like they did
in the service.

Oh, I see you don't know.

I know because I was there.

Mr. Ambrose, I begged to go.

I had a medical problem.
I was eight years old.

Sense of humor.

It's a plus, Mr. Reiger;
I'm crediting you with that.

You can stop now.

Oh, well, thank goodness.

My next words were
gonna be "knock, knock".

Not another quip,
I swear it.

Right, there's something
I have to bring up here.

I have a report here that says

you punched somebody
else's timecard.

What? There's a report on that?

Yes, there is.

Holy cow, I mean, I-I didn't
think it was a big deal.

I mean, uh, Mrs. Callan had
to leave five minutes early

because she had to take her
child to a doctor's appointment,

and I just punched
her timecard.

So, it's true, then?

You stole from the company.

No, no, I wouldn't say that.

I mean, it was just
five minutes, I mean...

That's a rather extreme way
of putting it, Mr. Ambrose.

Well, how would you
put it, then, Mr. Reiger?

Well, I'm not sure.

Why don't you put it this way?

"I was wrong, I'm very sorry,
and it will never happen again."

Mr. Ambrose, if you look
at my performance record...

I know about your
performance record.

The words I want to hear are:
"I was wrong, I'm very sorry,

and it will never happen again."

Mr. Ambrose, uh,
please forgive me, but, uh,

I still can't understand

why this has become
such a big issue.

You're a very strong-willed,

independent, young man,
Mr. Reiger.

These are not bad qualities,

but to succeed with this
company, you're going to

have to be able to
defer to authority.

Now, I don't think you can.

"I was wrong.

I'm very sorry.

It will never happen again."

Well, okay, uh...

I knew there was
a rule about it,

and I'm sure there was
a better way to handle it

than I did, and I
really want this job.

And I'll be... I'll, I'll
do this company real proud

if I get it,
I swear it.

You know, you have
a real compulsion

to put things your own way,
don't you?

Uh, I'll look over
the information.

I'll let you know.

Thank you
for coming in.

Hmm? Right, thank you.

Yes?

I was wrong, I'm very sorry,
and it will never happen again.

You miserable, stupid,
rotten jack-ass!

I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.

Boy, you really have to
watch out what you say
in this place! Sorry.

Reiger, you may have missed a
chance at a successful career,

but you gained one thing.

Me and death cab 412.

It's waiting for
you here, sap.

Oh, my God, that's the man
who offered me the job.

Mr. Thompson, hi.

Oh.

What are you doing here?

Well, I was on my way
to the airport and I,

well, it began to bother me

that I was going back
without finding out

if you want
the job or not.

I have to know now.

Wait, when you say now, you
don't mean right now, do you?

Of course, I do.

You mean immediately?

Are you a little slow today?

Uh, no.
I think I'm making
myself perfectly clear.

Yeah, uh, well, could
I have just a minute?

(sighing):
Yes, I suppose so.

Uh, I'll wait over here.

Okay, thanks.

Alex, what am I gonna tell him?

I mean,
what am I gonna do?

This man wants a decision
right this minute,

and he's giving me one
minute to think about it.

What am I gonna
tell him?

Tell him you
wet your bed.

What?!

Jim, I'm... I'm not trying
to get out of the army.

I'm trying to decide whether
or not to take a desk job.

Tell him you
wet your desk.

Elaine...
What am I gonna do?

What am I gonna tell him?

I can't make a decision
like, just like that.

Elaine, Elaine,
you're a strong woman

who makes decisions
all the time.

Not decisions where
I could end up in Seattle

in the rain screaming "Why?!".

Well, then it's simple.

Stay here where
the big news is

that Mario's is trying
out a new tomato paste.

I mean, that man
is standing there

waiting for a mature,
adult decision.

Elaine, look, I, I don't know
how to help you, but, uh,

I don't think you need
my help because deep down,

I think you know what
the right answer is,

and all you gotta do
is open your mouth

and it's gonna
come right out.

Now, trust it.

The right answer
will come out.

Mr. Thompson?

Um, I've given this
a lot of thought,

and, uh, my decision
is just not coming to me.

Mr. Thompson, this decision
is very important, you know.

I mean, this is not
the kind of thing...
Yes.

It, it, it requires a lot
of time to think, you know,

and I-I-I feel very
pressured right now

and I feel very nervous and,
and it's making it a lot more

difficult than it
should be, you know,

and, uh, and I've asked
my friends for advice

but their advice has
just confused me more.

I love New York!

I love New York, so I...
But Seattle sounds great.

It really does, and the job
sounds wonderful, and I know

Elaine...
it's a very good opportunity

and I don't want
to really blow it.

You see, my children's,
my children will be

affected by this, too,
an-and if I didn't have to

think about them, if I only
had to think about myself,

then my decision would
be just as difficult

because of the pressure
that you're putting on me.

I mean, what kind
of person are you

that you could do
this to somebody else?

I mean, just because you
have a stupid plane to catch

doesn't mean that
I have to make

the most important decision
of my life so quickly!

(crying)

Elaine, get ahold of
yourself. Huh? I...

(sobbing)

You're right.
I'm sorry.

You're right.

You're entitled
to a decision.

I want that job, Mr. Thompson.

Whew!

Oh, I feel so much better.

Oh, God, that was easier
than I thought.

So, when do I start?

Start what? Shock treatments?

Elaine, you're much
too emotionally high-strung

for this job. I'm sorry, but...

Wait a minute,
wait a minute.

After all that, you're not
gonna give me the job?

Well, I don't think
there's any cause

for that sort of
thing, Miss Nardo.

And you're not only not
gonna give me the job,
Now, just a minute!

you also called me
emotionally high-strung.
Now, wait a minute!

You know, it's difficult to
make a decision in two seconds!

(groans)

I just hit that man.

I just hit him!
I know.

He's turning red!
Elaine...

As your employment counselor,
I have a few things

that I would like
to talk over with you.
Alex,

Alex, tell me I didn't
really want that job,

otherwise I wouldn't have
done something that stupid.

I mean, tell me I...
Say something because

you're not saying anything
to make me feel better.

You didn't kill him.

Oh, Mr. Thompson,
I... (stammering)

if you change your mind,
will you call me?

I don't think
he'll call me.

You know, Elaine,
I think you lucked out.

As far as I'm concerned,
you got the best job

you ever had,
being Elaine Nardo.

Oh, Alex, that's so sweet.

Aw, you like me,
that's sweet.

Come on.
Oh...

We didn't want
to tell you,

but you would've felt
terrible without us.

Oh, I know.

I love you guys so much.

I mean, that's the real reason
why I didn't take this job.

(sighs)

I'm gonna go tell my kids.

Bye.

She did take the job!

Shh!

(theme song playing)

WOMAN:
Good night, Mr. Walters!

(man grumbling)