Taxi (1978–1983): Season 3, Episode 16 - Louie Bumps into an Old Lady - full transcript
After Louie hits an old lady with his cab, she takes him and the Sunshine Cab Company to court for a million dollars. Louie soon realizes that he has a strong case against her when Alex remembers from a prior experience that she is a known ambulance chaser.
( theme music playing )
Ignatowski.
Yo.
Janine!
I'm sorry, Mr. De Palma.
I didn't do very well.
No, no.
I just can't
seem to get
the hang of this.
Well, don't worry.
You're just learning.
What you need, Janine...
is, um...
for someone with
some experience
to take you out for a little
on-the-job training.
Louie's still coming on
to the new cab driver, huh?
Yeah. I don't know
how any woman can
resist him, you know?
Now, I got an idea.
How about if I take you out
and show you the ropes?
Oh, Mr. De Palma,
you don't have
to do that.
Now, Janine,
I'd just feel terrible
if you didn't work out
here as a cabby
and you left
the Sunshine Cab Company
without my trying to...
Score.
Score.
Look, Janine,
don't... don't listen to them.
That's just a little
of their crude garage humor.
( chuckling )
Yeah?
Jeff?
Give me the keys
to Cab 881.
Here.
Come on, my little rookie.
Hey, Louie, you ain't no driver.
Banta, I was driving cabs
when you were
in the third grade--
your first year
in third grade.
Hey, shouldn't
we do something
about this?
No. Don't worry
about it.
I taught her yesterday
how to handle him.
What did you tell her?
I told her, "If he
gives you any trouble
just rap him on the snout
with a rolled-up newspaper."
Hey, that's a good idea.
You know what bugs me about
Louie is his attitude.
The way he treats women
I know.
like objects,
pieces of meat.
I mean, doesn't he know
that thinking went out
two to three months ago?
Louie never taught me
how to drive.
In fact, every time
I'd ask him a question,
he tells me, "get lost."
That's because you don't have
a great pair of legs.
Yeah, but Louie
don't know that.
You know...
( clears throat )
I have a tip that I think
might be helpful
to young cab drivers.
Have you ever noticed...
that when you put the pencil
behind your ear
it tends to slither out
when you go around sharp curves?
Yeah. It happens to me
all the time, Jim.
It's very annoying.
What's your tip, Jim?
Voila.
Oh, help! Help!
It was awful!
I knew it,
I knew it.
All right, what did he do?
Quick, get some water!
This lady's
not feeling well.
All right, you're
going to be fine.
Is she all right?
We'll take care of
you. Don't worry.
Jeff!
Yeah?
Call a doctor.
It's all right.
Please, don't
make a fuss.
Hey, Louie, what happened, Lou?
She hurt herself.
All right, but
don't worry, ma'am,
'cause you're in
good hands here.
Lucky I was there
to take charge of things.
Jeff, how you coming
with that doctor?
It's ringing.
How did she hurt herself?
Oh, the poor woman,
she had a dizzy spell
and fainted in the street.
No, she didn't.
You ran over her.
Well, what difference
does it make
as long as she's okay
and nobody got pictures?
( horn beeping )
You know, funny thing
about this accident--
it made Louie
a nicer person.
I mean, he keeps calling
that old lady on the phone,
sending her flowers,
going to see her.
And he's been spending
a lot of time with her.
Oh, poor thing.
Hasn't she
suffered enough?
I know what he's doing.
He's trying to make
friends with her
so she won't sue him
for his eyeballs.
( Louie humming
"Pomp and Circumstance" )
( laughing )
You all remember
Edith Tremayne.
And, Edith, you must
remember the kids
from the Sunshine
Cab Company,
where "safety first"
is our only motto.
I'm so pleased
to meet you all.
Mr. De Palma
was kind enough
to buy this
wheelchair for me.
Well, well, well, Edith,
you won't be needing
this wheelchair long.
She'll be up
and doddering about
any time now.
And he sends me a dozen
roses every day.
You're spoiling
me, Louis.
You should be
spoiled, Edie.
And now I'm going to show you
all around the garage,
and we'll go nice and slow.
We wouldn't want
to have any accidents.
You know, something's
been bothering me
ever since he
wheeled her in here.
Her face is familiar.
It's very familiar to me,
only I just can't
remember where from.
And over here
we have the grease pit.
Oh, that reminds me.
I forgot to thank you
for the lunch today.
Well, don't
mention it, Edith.
Don't mention it.
Excuse me, ma'am.
Uh, have you and I ever met?
No, I don't think so.
You look very familiar to me.
I probably remind you
of your grandmother.
That's what
everyone tells me.
Yeah. I guess that's what it is.
Well, thanks for picking up
the conversation, Rieger.
As I was saying
all of our drivers
are chosen
for their intelligence,
their maturity...
Uh, excuse me.
( clears throat )
Do you know how many jelly beans
I can hold in my mouth
at one time?
No, I don't.
Well, I'll have to find out
somewhere else.
And as you can see,
we also hire those less
fortunate than ourselves.
Now let me show you my cage.
This is the nerve center
of the whole operation.
Oh, that isn't necessary.
Mr. De Palma,
it's wonderful.
You have a lovely garage
and you have a fine-looking
group of employees.
And you, personally,
have been as good to me
as if you were my own son.
Well, Edith, in a way
you do remind me
of my dear, sweet mother.
God rest her soul.
Oh? She passed away?
No. This is her nap time.
Oh.
Well, your mother
must be very proud.
You're a wonderful person.
Well, I think you're
a wonderful person too.
And I'm glad to be
a friend of yours.
And I'm glad to be
a friend of yours.
And I hope our relationship
isn't going to be hurt
by this thing
with the courts.
"Thing with the courts"?
Yes. My lawyers
are forcing me
into suing you
for a million dollars.
( growling and mumbling )
Thank you for showing me
the garage.
Thank you.
You didn't see this yet.
What's going on?
Louie went up to break
the news to Mr. Mackenzie.
Yeah, and try to get
the cab company
to pay legal expenses.
Oh, boy, there's
going to be trouble.
Thank you.
I-I was sure
you'd see it that way.
You're more than kind.
Thank you, sir.
ELAINE:
So, what did he say?
The cab company's
going to pay for everything...
ALEX:
Oh, boy, are you lucky.
...and then they're taking it
out of my salary.
Louie,
you have to pay
for everything?
Everything, including the gas
I used when I ran her over.
I don't know
what I'm going to do.
A million dollars.
A million dollars.
If the cab company was to take
$100 a week out of my salary
a million bucks would take...
two...
200 years.
Yeah, well...
that sounds a lot longer
than it really is.
Ignatowski...
Huh?
these matters
are too serious
for you even to be here.
Go sit in
the storeroom.
Can do.
I still wish I knew
why that lady's face
looked so familiar.
I can't believe her ingratitude.
I mean, after all the things
I gave her--
the wheelchair, the flowers,
the friendship...
The tread marks.
What I need here, is the best
legal talent money can buy.
Jeff, give me the yellow pages.
Here, boss.
She's going to wish she never
heard the name Louie De Palma.
I know that feeling.
This is great.
That old lady has got you.
Yeah, well, We'll see
about this, Wheeler.
There you go.
You can't do better
than this.
"Charles 'Speedy' Wyatt,
Legal Services.
"Credit terms available.
"Free parking.
If I can't beat your rap,
I'll eat a bug."
Now, Louie, this is not
the time to economize, you know.
I mean, you are in
serious trouble here.
I think you're right.
Now, my gallery
has an attorney.
I'll see if
he can help you out.
Thanks, Nardo,
thanks.
( laughing )
What's the matter
with you, Rieger?
I just remembered where I saw
that old lady's face.
And it's funny?
Yes, it's very funny.
Do you remember
Sonny Bergmeyer?
Sonny Bergmeyer?
Who's that?
Sonny Bergmeyer, he used
to work here as a driver.
Oh, a driver?
Oh, mercy, a driver?
Well, wait, let me
go check my scrapbook.
Louie, Sonny Bergmeyer
ran over that same old lady
a couple of years ago.
Are you sure?
I'm positive.
She sued him too.
But only Sonny checked her out
and found out she'd been
run over by cab drivers
once a month for years.
Poor lady's
got rough luck.
You mean to say
that that sweet little old lady
fakes accidents?
You got it. It's the oldest
trick in the book.
She steps in the path
of a slow-moving cab,
and just at the right moment,
she fakes being hurt.
You're being sued
by a con woman, Louie.
Aha!
I knew it wasn't my fault.
!
That's right.
Tell me, tell me more.
Tell me more, tell me more.
What did Bergmeyer do
when she sued him?
Well, he...
No, I don't think you want
to hear anymore.
Come on, Rieger!
No...
You know how
my stories always bore you.
Come on, come on!
Come on, come on!
All right, all right.
All right, all right!
What was it you
wanted to know again?
Come on, Rieger.
!
All right,
all right.
As far as I can recall, he
rounded up those cab drivers
that she had done
that number on
and he threatened
to bring them into court
to testify against her.
She dropped the suit
immediately.
She was used to taking
the cab companies
and having them
settle out of court.
She didn't want
to go to trial.
I'll bet she didn't.
That's probably what
she wants me to do--
settle out of court.
That's right.
( laughs evilly )
Oh, I can't wait.
I can't wait.
What are you going to do?
I'm going to make her
take me to court.
And then, when I get her there,
I'm going to let her have it.
( growling )
Huh?
I'm going to expose her.
That's it.
I'm going to make
her little gray head spin.
I'm going to beat this rap
just like Sonny Bergmeyer.
Where can I find this guy
Bergmeyer, Rieger?
Bergmeyer? I don't know.
He used to hang around
Benson's cafeteria.
I don't think
he does anymore, though.
Alex, you got
to find him for me.
Why should I do that?
Come on, you're the only guy
who remembers him.
Come on, you know him.
You know him.
Besides,
with a nose like that
you're better
than a bloodhound.
That's what you consider
sweet-talking, Louie?
Come on, Rieger, you've
got to help me out.
I could stand to lose
a million bucks here.
( chuckles )
Listen...
if you can save me that,
I'll give you $100.
Okay. Okay, I'll do it.
Save your money.
I'll try to find
Sonny for you
if you do
something for me.
Anything.
Anything. Anything.
All right,
no more ridiculing
the cab drivers.
Right.
No more making passes
at Elaine.
Good.
And no more cheap
shots at Bobby.
Fine.
And no more jokes
about my nose.
Oh.
Is it a deal?
All right.
It's a deal.
It's a deal
Courtrooms give me the willies.
I had to go to court myself once
a few years back.
Really? Did they get
you on drugs?
No. I was already on drugs.
That's why I was there.
I just talked to Alex
on the phone.
You're not going
to believe this.
He finally found
Sonny Bergmeyer.
Talk about
cutting it close;
the day of the trial.
You know, the trial's not
going to start for a while.
Why don't we go and see
if we can pick up some chicks
out in the hall, huh?
Maybe we can get ourselves
a couple of legal secretaries.
Yeah. They got to be
legal though, Bobby.
Hey, Jim, you want
to come?
No, I'm going to
stay here, look
around a little.
All right.
Thank you.
I thought that
was you, Edith.
Good to see you again.
Oh, the cast.
Nice touch.
You're not going
to believe this, Tom.
The cast is real.
I actually broke my leg
this time.
Come on, Edith,
save it for the judge.
No, I'm telling you the truth.
It's the damnedest thing,
I'm really hurt.
When I bounced off that cab,
I broke my leg in two places.
So you mean we've actually
got a legitimate case?
Well, there's a first time
for everything.
( chuckles )
( scoffs )
Hope you
didn't spend
that million bucks
yet, Edith.
( growls )
ATTORNEY:
Mr. De Palma.
Mr. De Palma,
please.
When is your key witness
going to get here?
Just relax.
Don't worry.
He'll be here soon.
Rieger's picking him up
right now.
This is going to be the easiest
case you've ever had.
Old Grandma Bunko's not going
to know what hit her.
Boss...
Ignatowski,
get the hell out of here.
Boss, I think there's
something you ought to know.
The only thing
I want to know
is how fast you can
get out of my sight.
Boss, this is really,
really important.
You know how short
my memory is,
so let me tell you
before I forget.
Okay. What is it?
What's what?
Bean brain, get out of here.
( scoffs )
So, you had no idea,
Miss Tremayne,
that the cab was
coming towards you?
The only thing I noticed
was the sign saying "walk."
I never even saw
the speeding cab
when it tried to run the light
and came after me.
Okay, now let me ask you this,
Miss Tremayne.
Have you ever had
this kind of accident before?
Objection.
Will counsel for the defense
approach the bench, please?
Rieger, where's Sonny?
Let me tell you about that.
He's here, right?
He was all ready
to come in.
Said he was
looking forward to it.
Said he wanted to see
that old lady
get what she deserves.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Then he asked me whose butt
he was saving by coming in.
Right, right.
Then I did
a very stupid thing.
I told him it was yours.
Huh?
He jumped out
of the cab.
This is incredible.
Didn't you tell him
if he doesn't come here
that old bat's
going to take me
for everything I got?
I told him.
Well, what'd he say?
"The system works."
Rieger, Rieger, I'm lost.
I'm sorry, Lou.
There's one bright spot.
What's that?
Our deal's off,
Aardvark nose.
There's got to be some way to...
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Your Honor,
may I ask the witness
a couple of questions?
Well, that's within your rights
as long as the opposing counsel
for Miss Tremayne
doesn't object.
Object to it?
On the contrary, Your Honor,
we encourage it.
Mr. De Palma, I don't think
you should do this.
Leave me alone.
I smell blood.
Uh, Miss Tremayne,
it is your contention
that your alleged broken leg
has left you
completely helpless.
It certainly is.
And you would have
the court believe
that, uh... say in the case
of earthquake or fire,
or some other calamity,
God forbid,
you would be unable
to get out of that chair
and save your life?
That's right.
You're saying
that if this wheelchair,
for some reason,
might go totally
out of control
you would not be able
to get out of it?
That's right.
Well, I'm saying
that you are not
injured in the least
and I'm going to prove it
by doing this.
( screaming )
Don't worry.
She'll get out.
She'll get out of the chair.
She'll get out
before she hits the
stairs. Don't worry.
Jump out, Edith.
Jump out, Edith.
Jump out, Edith!
( thud )
( rhythmic thudding )
( thudding stops )
( thud )
( rhythmic thudding )
( thudding stops )
( thud )
!
Rieger, I
didn't know...
( rhythmic thudding )
( thudding stops )
Rieger...
( thud )
( rhythmic thudding )
Rieger, Rieger, what
floor are we on?
The 16th.
I have no further questions,
Your Honor.
Hi.
Oh, how's Edith?
Not too bad.
Boy, scared the hell
out of her, though.
But the chair and the cast
absorbed most of the damage.
She's not really hurt.
Mmm. They put Louie in jail.
Yeah. That judge
was pretty mad.
Yeah, I'll say. I never
seen a judge try
to hit anybody
with his gavel before.
So, uh, what's going
to happen now?
Well, fortunately,
Sonny gave me
some of the names
of the other guys she conned.
Louie doesn't stand a chance
of getting out of jail
until I round up these guys
and get them to talk
to the judge.
So, there's not
a moment to lose.
The quicker I make these calls
the quicker
Louie gets out of jail.
( theme music playing )
WOMAN:
Night, Mr. Walters.
( grunts )
Ignatowski.
Yo.
Janine!
I'm sorry, Mr. De Palma.
I didn't do very well.
No, no.
I just can't
seem to get
the hang of this.
Well, don't worry.
You're just learning.
What you need, Janine...
is, um...
for someone with
some experience
to take you out for a little
on-the-job training.
Louie's still coming on
to the new cab driver, huh?
Yeah. I don't know
how any woman can
resist him, you know?
Now, I got an idea.
How about if I take you out
and show you the ropes?
Oh, Mr. De Palma,
you don't have
to do that.
Now, Janine,
I'd just feel terrible
if you didn't work out
here as a cabby
and you left
the Sunshine Cab Company
without my trying to...
Score.
Score.
Look, Janine,
don't... don't listen to them.
That's just a little
of their crude garage humor.
( chuckling )
Yeah?
Jeff?
Give me the keys
to Cab 881.
Here.
Come on, my little rookie.
Hey, Louie, you ain't no driver.
Banta, I was driving cabs
when you were
in the third grade--
your first year
in third grade.
Hey, shouldn't
we do something
about this?
No. Don't worry
about it.
I taught her yesterday
how to handle him.
What did you tell her?
I told her, "If he
gives you any trouble
just rap him on the snout
with a rolled-up newspaper."
Hey, that's a good idea.
You know what bugs me about
Louie is his attitude.
The way he treats women
I know.
like objects,
pieces of meat.
I mean, doesn't he know
that thinking went out
two to three months ago?
Louie never taught me
how to drive.
In fact, every time
I'd ask him a question,
he tells me, "get lost."
That's because you don't have
a great pair of legs.
Yeah, but Louie
don't know that.
You know...
( clears throat )
I have a tip that I think
might be helpful
to young cab drivers.
Have you ever noticed...
that when you put the pencil
behind your ear
it tends to slither out
when you go around sharp curves?
Yeah. It happens to me
all the time, Jim.
It's very annoying.
What's your tip, Jim?
Voila.
Oh, help! Help!
It was awful!
I knew it,
I knew it.
All right, what did he do?
Quick, get some water!
This lady's
not feeling well.
All right, you're
going to be fine.
Is she all right?
We'll take care of
you. Don't worry.
Jeff!
Yeah?
Call a doctor.
It's all right.
Please, don't
make a fuss.
Hey, Louie, what happened, Lou?
She hurt herself.
All right, but
don't worry, ma'am,
'cause you're in
good hands here.
Lucky I was there
to take charge of things.
Jeff, how you coming
with that doctor?
It's ringing.
How did she hurt herself?
Oh, the poor woman,
she had a dizzy spell
and fainted in the street.
No, she didn't.
You ran over her.
Well, what difference
does it make
as long as she's okay
and nobody got pictures?
( horn beeping )
You know, funny thing
about this accident--
it made Louie
a nicer person.
I mean, he keeps calling
that old lady on the phone,
sending her flowers,
going to see her.
And he's been spending
a lot of time with her.
Oh, poor thing.
Hasn't she
suffered enough?
I know what he's doing.
He's trying to make
friends with her
so she won't sue him
for his eyeballs.
( Louie humming
"Pomp and Circumstance" )
( laughing )
You all remember
Edith Tremayne.
And, Edith, you must
remember the kids
from the Sunshine
Cab Company,
where "safety first"
is our only motto.
I'm so pleased
to meet you all.
Mr. De Palma
was kind enough
to buy this
wheelchair for me.
Well, well, well, Edith,
you won't be needing
this wheelchair long.
She'll be up
and doddering about
any time now.
And he sends me a dozen
roses every day.
You're spoiling
me, Louis.
You should be
spoiled, Edie.
And now I'm going to show you
all around the garage,
and we'll go nice and slow.
We wouldn't want
to have any accidents.
You know, something's
been bothering me
ever since he
wheeled her in here.
Her face is familiar.
It's very familiar to me,
only I just can't
remember where from.
And over here
we have the grease pit.
Oh, that reminds me.
I forgot to thank you
for the lunch today.
Well, don't
mention it, Edith.
Don't mention it.
Excuse me, ma'am.
Uh, have you and I ever met?
No, I don't think so.
You look very familiar to me.
I probably remind you
of your grandmother.
That's what
everyone tells me.
Yeah. I guess that's what it is.
Well, thanks for picking up
the conversation, Rieger.
As I was saying
all of our drivers
are chosen
for their intelligence,
their maturity...
Uh, excuse me.
( clears throat )
Do you know how many jelly beans
I can hold in my mouth
at one time?
No, I don't.
Well, I'll have to find out
somewhere else.
And as you can see,
we also hire those less
fortunate than ourselves.
Now let me show you my cage.
This is the nerve center
of the whole operation.
Oh, that isn't necessary.
Mr. De Palma,
it's wonderful.
You have a lovely garage
and you have a fine-looking
group of employees.
And you, personally,
have been as good to me
as if you were my own son.
Well, Edith, in a way
you do remind me
of my dear, sweet mother.
God rest her soul.
Oh? She passed away?
No. This is her nap time.
Oh.
Well, your mother
must be very proud.
You're a wonderful person.
Well, I think you're
a wonderful person too.
And I'm glad to be
a friend of yours.
And I'm glad to be
a friend of yours.
And I hope our relationship
isn't going to be hurt
by this thing
with the courts.
"Thing with the courts"?
Yes. My lawyers
are forcing me
into suing you
for a million dollars.
( growling and mumbling )
Thank you for showing me
the garage.
Thank you.
You didn't see this yet.
What's going on?
Louie went up to break
the news to Mr. Mackenzie.
Yeah, and try to get
the cab company
to pay legal expenses.
Oh, boy, there's
going to be trouble.
Thank you.
I-I was sure
you'd see it that way.
You're more than kind.
Thank you, sir.
ELAINE:
So, what did he say?
The cab company's
going to pay for everything...
ALEX:
Oh, boy, are you lucky.
...and then they're taking it
out of my salary.
Louie,
you have to pay
for everything?
Everything, including the gas
I used when I ran her over.
I don't know
what I'm going to do.
A million dollars.
A million dollars.
If the cab company was to take
$100 a week out of my salary
a million bucks would take...
two...
200 years.
Yeah, well...
that sounds a lot longer
than it really is.
Ignatowski...
Huh?
these matters
are too serious
for you even to be here.
Go sit in
the storeroom.
Can do.
I still wish I knew
why that lady's face
looked so familiar.
I can't believe her ingratitude.
I mean, after all the things
I gave her--
the wheelchair, the flowers,
the friendship...
The tread marks.
What I need here, is the best
legal talent money can buy.
Jeff, give me the yellow pages.
Here, boss.
She's going to wish she never
heard the name Louie De Palma.
I know that feeling.
This is great.
That old lady has got you.
Yeah, well, We'll see
about this, Wheeler.
There you go.
You can't do better
than this.
"Charles 'Speedy' Wyatt,
Legal Services.
"Credit terms available.
"Free parking.
If I can't beat your rap,
I'll eat a bug."
Now, Louie, this is not
the time to economize, you know.
I mean, you are in
serious trouble here.
I think you're right.
Now, my gallery
has an attorney.
I'll see if
he can help you out.
Thanks, Nardo,
thanks.
( laughing )
What's the matter
with you, Rieger?
I just remembered where I saw
that old lady's face.
And it's funny?
Yes, it's very funny.
Do you remember
Sonny Bergmeyer?
Sonny Bergmeyer?
Who's that?
Sonny Bergmeyer, he used
to work here as a driver.
Oh, a driver?
Oh, mercy, a driver?
Well, wait, let me
go check my scrapbook.
Louie, Sonny Bergmeyer
ran over that same old lady
a couple of years ago.
Are you sure?
I'm positive.
She sued him too.
But only Sonny checked her out
and found out she'd been
run over by cab drivers
once a month for years.
Poor lady's
got rough luck.
You mean to say
that that sweet little old lady
fakes accidents?
You got it. It's the oldest
trick in the book.
She steps in the path
of a slow-moving cab,
and just at the right moment,
she fakes being hurt.
You're being sued
by a con woman, Louie.
Aha!
I knew it wasn't my fault.
!
That's right.
Tell me, tell me more.
Tell me more, tell me more.
What did Bergmeyer do
when she sued him?
Well, he...
No, I don't think you want
to hear anymore.
Come on, Rieger!
No...
You know how
my stories always bore you.
Come on, come on!
Come on, come on!
All right, all right.
All right, all right!
What was it you
wanted to know again?
Come on, Rieger.
!
All right,
all right.
As far as I can recall, he
rounded up those cab drivers
that she had done
that number on
and he threatened
to bring them into court
to testify against her.
She dropped the suit
immediately.
She was used to taking
the cab companies
and having them
settle out of court.
She didn't want
to go to trial.
I'll bet she didn't.
That's probably what
she wants me to do--
settle out of court.
That's right.
( laughs evilly )
Oh, I can't wait.
I can't wait.
What are you going to do?
I'm going to make her
take me to court.
And then, when I get her there,
I'm going to let her have it.
( growling )
Huh?
I'm going to expose her.
That's it.
I'm going to make
her little gray head spin.
I'm going to beat this rap
just like Sonny Bergmeyer.
Where can I find this guy
Bergmeyer, Rieger?
Bergmeyer? I don't know.
He used to hang around
Benson's cafeteria.
I don't think
he does anymore, though.
Alex, you got
to find him for me.
Why should I do that?
Come on, you're the only guy
who remembers him.
Come on, you know him.
You know him.
Besides,
with a nose like that
you're better
than a bloodhound.
That's what you consider
sweet-talking, Louie?
Come on, Rieger, you've
got to help me out.
I could stand to lose
a million bucks here.
( chuckles )
Listen...
if you can save me that,
I'll give you $100.
Okay. Okay, I'll do it.
Save your money.
I'll try to find
Sonny for you
if you do
something for me.
Anything.
Anything. Anything.
All right,
no more ridiculing
the cab drivers.
Right.
No more making passes
at Elaine.
Good.
And no more cheap
shots at Bobby.
Fine.
And no more jokes
about my nose.
Oh.
Is it a deal?
All right.
It's a deal.
It's a deal
Courtrooms give me the willies.
I had to go to court myself once
a few years back.
Really? Did they get
you on drugs?
No. I was already on drugs.
That's why I was there.
I just talked to Alex
on the phone.
You're not going
to believe this.
He finally found
Sonny Bergmeyer.
Talk about
cutting it close;
the day of the trial.
You know, the trial's not
going to start for a while.
Why don't we go and see
if we can pick up some chicks
out in the hall, huh?
Maybe we can get ourselves
a couple of legal secretaries.
Yeah. They got to be
legal though, Bobby.
Hey, Jim, you want
to come?
No, I'm going to
stay here, look
around a little.
All right.
Thank you.
I thought that
was you, Edith.
Good to see you again.
Oh, the cast.
Nice touch.
You're not going
to believe this, Tom.
The cast is real.
I actually broke my leg
this time.
Come on, Edith,
save it for the judge.
No, I'm telling you the truth.
It's the damnedest thing,
I'm really hurt.
When I bounced off that cab,
I broke my leg in two places.
So you mean we've actually
got a legitimate case?
Well, there's a first time
for everything.
( chuckles )
( scoffs )
Hope you
didn't spend
that million bucks
yet, Edith.
( growls )
ATTORNEY:
Mr. De Palma.
Mr. De Palma,
please.
When is your key witness
going to get here?
Just relax.
Don't worry.
He'll be here soon.
Rieger's picking him up
right now.
This is going to be the easiest
case you've ever had.
Old Grandma Bunko's not going
to know what hit her.
Boss...
Ignatowski,
get the hell out of here.
Boss, I think there's
something you ought to know.
The only thing
I want to know
is how fast you can
get out of my sight.
Boss, this is really,
really important.
You know how short
my memory is,
so let me tell you
before I forget.
Okay. What is it?
What's what?
Bean brain, get out of here.
( scoffs )
So, you had no idea,
Miss Tremayne,
that the cab was
coming towards you?
The only thing I noticed
was the sign saying "walk."
I never even saw
the speeding cab
when it tried to run the light
and came after me.
Okay, now let me ask you this,
Miss Tremayne.
Have you ever had
this kind of accident before?
Objection.
Will counsel for the defense
approach the bench, please?
Rieger, where's Sonny?
Let me tell you about that.
He's here, right?
He was all ready
to come in.
Said he was
looking forward to it.
Said he wanted to see
that old lady
get what she deserves.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Then he asked me whose butt
he was saving by coming in.
Right, right.
Then I did
a very stupid thing.
I told him it was yours.
Huh?
He jumped out
of the cab.
This is incredible.
Didn't you tell him
if he doesn't come here
that old bat's
going to take me
for everything I got?
I told him.
Well, what'd he say?
"The system works."
Rieger, Rieger, I'm lost.
I'm sorry, Lou.
There's one bright spot.
What's that?
Our deal's off,
Aardvark nose.
There's got to be some way to...
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Your Honor,
may I ask the witness
a couple of questions?
Well, that's within your rights
as long as the opposing counsel
for Miss Tremayne
doesn't object.
Object to it?
On the contrary, Your Honor,
we encourage it.
Mr. De Palma, I don't think
you should do this.
Leave me alone.
I smell blood.
Uh, Miss Tremayne,
it is your contention
that your alleged broken leg
has left you
completely helpless.
It certainly is.
And you would have
the court believe
that, uh... say in the case
of earthquake or fire,
or some other calamity,
God forbid,
you would be unable
to get out of that chair
and save your life?
That's right.
You're saying
that if this wheelchair,
for some reason,
might go totally
out of control
you would not be able
to get out of it?
That's right.
Well, I'm saying
that you are not
injured in the least
and I'm going to prove it
by doing this.
( screaming )
Don't worry.
She'll get out.
She'll get out of the chair.
She'll get out
before she hits the
stairs. Don't worry.
Jump out, Edith.
Jump out, Edith.
Jump out, Edith!
( thud )
( rhythmic thudding )
( thudding stops )
( thud )
( rhythmic thudding )
( thudding stops )
( thud )
!
Rieger, I
didn't know...
( rhythmic thudding )
( thudding stops )
Rieger...
( thud )
( rhythmic thudding )
Rieger, Rieger, what
floor are we on?
The 16th.
I have no further questions,
Your Honor.
Hi.
Oh, how's Edith?
Not too bad.
Boy, scared the hell
out of her, though.
But the chair and the cast
absorbed most of the damage.
She's not really hurt.
Mmm. They put Louie in jail.
Yeah. That judge
was pretty mad.
Yeah, I'll say. I never
seen a judge try
to hit anybody
with his gavel before.
So, uh, what's going
to happen now?
Well, fortunately,
Sonny gave me
some of the names
of the other guys she conned.
Louie doesn't stand a chance
of getting out of jail
until I round up these guys
and get them to talk
to the judge.
So, there's not
a moment to lose.
The quicker I make these calls
the quicker
Louie gets out of jail.
( theme music playing )
WOMAN:
Night, Mr. Walters.
( grunts )