Taxi (1978–1983): Season 2, Episode 14 - Jim Gets a Pet - full transcript
Jim has a good day at the track and decides to spend his winnings on a pet horse.
( theme music playing )
Who did you bet on
in the fourth race?
That stiff...
Hey, where have you guys been?
Aw, you don't want
to know, Elaine.
This is kind of
a sore point with you,
and I think
the less said about it
in front of you,
the better.
Last time we went to
the track, you went nuts.
I told her.
Maybe she missed it.
You mean that you guys
cannot think
of a better way
to throw away your money?
Nope. She got it.
Not everybody lost.
Latka won a few races.
He's got a system.
Oh, yeah?
Latka, what's your system?
Oh, uh, uh, my system
is based on the temperature.
You mean the temperature
of the air
has something to do
with how you bet?
Oh, no, no--
the temperature of the horse.
And you actually won money?
Yes. I won $12.
Uh-huh. How much did you lose?
$36.
I did that well
without a system.
Yeah, but can you
do it every time?
Guys, this
gambling thing
has got to stop.
Don't lecture, Nardo.
I suppose you don't have
any vices of your own.
Sure, I have vices.
I'll show you mine
if you show me yours.
Okay, forget it,
forget it.
I'm not going
to let this thing
upset me, all right?
Hey, I want to thank you
guys for taking me along.
You mean you took Jim with you?!
This man is just getting
his head beneath water,
and you have to go
and turn him on to
something gambling?
Nardo, would you...?
Forget it.
Okay, okay, okay.
I wish I'd started gambling
a long time ago.
I've been looking for something
to take the place in my life
of, uh, uh, what do you call it?
Uh... drugs?
No, thanks.
Well, what I mean is,
I never...
I never got into
the real kick of betting.
It makes life
so much more interesting.
Right now, that guy's
over there getting
something to drink.
Ordinarily, that wouldn't
mean a thing to me
but, if I were to bet
on what drink he'd choose,
the next few seconds
would be thrilling.
I got a buck that
says it's coffee.
Hey, hey, hey, Bob.
Vodka gimlet.
Jim!
Jim, there's only coffee
and hot chocolate
in that machine.
Well, so, give me odds.
BOBBY:
No, no, no.
ALEX:
Give him odds.
A hundred to one.
I can't pass that by.
Oh, for crying out loud.
Hey, uh, how's the gimlet?
It's coffee.
I told you so, man.
Thanks, Bobby.
You're welcome.
For giving
me that thrill.
My last thrill
for a while.
Hey, Jim, I didn't mean
to take your last dollar.
Then give it back.
Okay.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
Pooky... Juanina...
Alex, I really hope
that you're satisfied,
because you just turned Jim
into a gambling junkie.
Hey, come on, Elaine.
It's his money, you know?
It's his business.
It's his life.
And it's your fault.
Look, Elaine, just because
your ex-husband was a gambler...
Oh... do not bring
my ex-husband into this.
He has nothing
to do with this
whatsoever.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Do you know that my ex-husband
was a gambler?
It was rumored
to that effect, yes. Why?
Alex, I know
about gambling.
I mean, I'm
worried about Jim.
Excuse me.
Uh, are you fighting over me?
Well, perhaps we are, yeah.
Well, don't worry, Elaine,
because I don't have any more
money to gamble with anyhow.
Oh, Ignatowski,
can I see you a second?
How's it going, Pally?
Oh, average.
Sit down?
Sure.
Uh, Iggy, you want
to spin over here?
Oh.
Uh...
By any chance,
would you be interested
in borrowing a few bucks
to, say, gamble
on the horses?
Would you
lend that to me?
Sure.
You're a good risk.
I know you'd work real hard
to pay me back the loan
plus the interest,
which is the usual, uh, 85%.
Sounds like a good deal.
Is a handshake
good enough for you?
Sure.
Well, it ain't for me.
Just, uh,
sign it right there
on the dotted line.
Okeydoke.
Excuse me, boss.
What does this say
in the little tiny letters?
Oh, uh, that's just a,
you know, a formality.
That says, in the event
that you're unable
to pay me back,
I have the right
to sell your body for
medical experiments.
Oh, oh.
You mean after I'm dead.
No.
Right there.
Hi, everybody.
Hey, Alex.
Oh, hi, Alex.
Hey, have you seen Jim?
No, I haven't. Why?
'Cause none of us have
seen him lately, either.
He's been at the track
every day this week.
Am I really going to get
another anti-gambling sermon
from a woman holding a handful
of little pasteboards
with little pictures
of kings and queens on them?
She's got kings and queens?
I fold.
This is a game, Alex.
There's no money involved.
Oh, yeah.
I'm back in.
Hi, everybody.
Hi, Jim.
BOBBY:
Hi, Jim.
How you doing?
ALEX:
Jim, come here.
I want to talk to you.
Okeydoke.
Over here, Jim.
Look, Jim, I know
you've been at the track
very often now--
almost every day--
and maybe you're
enjoying yourself
but, Jim, look, there's
another side to gambling,
and I want
to tell you about it.
Look, Jim, first,
you borrow from Louie.
Then, when he
runs out of money,
you'll have to go
to a loan shark.
Fine.
Fine? No, no, no.
Jim, the next thing you know,
you're going to get a visit
from some guy with no neck
carrying a baseball bat, and
he wants his money back, Jim!
I'll, uh...
give him the money.
But you won't
have the money, Jim!
I'll ask him
to wait a while.
Yeah. He'll say,
( deep voice ):
Ignatowski,
I waited long enough.
Well, um, I need
a little time.
Ignatowski,
you got two choices:
You either pay me
the money now,
or you pay me the money now.
Yeah, he pulls that,
and I'll call the cops.
Jim, what are the police
going to do for you?
They'll protect me.
I'll tell them there's a man
trying to kill me.
( nasal voice ):
Oh, yeah? Ignatowski?
You say your name is Ignatowski?
Oh, that name rings a bell.
Are you the same Ignatowski
who was smoking
an illegal substance
on the 24th of May, 1968,
and then you ran
six red lights...
Five! Five lights!
Huh?
Huh?
I got to
get out of town.
I'll hide
in my folks' house.
( accent ):
Jim, Jim, it's so good
to have you back home.
My son.
There were
some strange men
came here today,
say you owe
them some money.
They took
away your mama.
Mom!
So, now, what are
you going to do, Jim?
I'll go see a priest!
I don't do priests.
You got to.
It's my only hope.
Look, Jim, you've got
to control yourself.
You got to get
some kind of control
about this gambling.
You're right. I quit.
I quit forever.
Good, Jim.
You're going to quit,
and you're going
to pay back all of your losses.
What losses?
All the money that
you lost gambling.
I haven't lost money
gambling. I won $10,000.
You won $10,000?
You see that? He won.
Jim, just don't forget
who got you started.
I bet $35 on a
300-to-one long shot
named "On Dasher."
BOBBY:
You bet on a
300-to-one shot?
Yeah, well, I identify
with the long shots.
Here you are, Louie--
every penny of your money,
plus interest,
plus a couple of bucks
for your troubles.
You see that?
All your complaining,
all your lecturing--
the guy walks in here
richer than all of us.
He can now change his life
if he wants to.
So what are you going
to do with the rest
of the money, Jim?
Nothing. I've
already spent it.
What?!
What?!
What were you saying?
He spent all his...?
You spent all
your money?
You spent the rest
of all that money?!
How many bars
are between
the track and here?
Uh, 84... but I didn't
go into any of them.
How could you win $10,000
on a horse race,
and then blow
it all immediately?
What did you spend
the money on, Jim?
Ignatowski!
Yo?
Thanks.
They, uh,
threw in the saddle.
He bought
a racehorse.
I know he bought
a racehorse.
I can see a racehorse.
He bought a racehorse!
He used to be a racehorse.
But, after the race,
I took one look at him--
all sweaty and foamy
and favoring one leg
and limping
on the other three.
It broke my heart.
It seemed to me
he won that money for me,
so I felt I should
return the favor.
So I went up
to the owner
and I asked him
how much would it cost me
to buy that horse.
And he said,
"How much you got?"
And, would you believe it?
It was the same.
Huh?
Bobby.
Yeah?
You want to give me a hand
with the saddle here?
Yeah, sure.
Ask him what
he's going to do
with a racehorse.
What are you going to do
with a racehorse, Jim?!
I'm, uh, giving him his freedom.
He's giving him
his... What?
ALEX:
Hey! Hey!
Hey, come on, everybody,
let's get that horse!
How are we going
to catch a horse?
He's a 300-to-one shot.
We can outrun him.
ALEX:
Oh, boy.
Let him go,
everybody.
I want him to be free.
Jim, you can't just
let a horse run free
on the streets of New York.
Jim, this is not
the frontier.
There's no place
for On Dasher to go
on the streets
of New York.
Alex, don't call him On Dasher.
That was his slave name.
Oh.
Well, what's
his new name?
Uh...
uh... Gary.
Gary. That's
a nice name. Gary.
Get that ugly, smelly,
dirty creature
out of my garage,
and tell him
to take his horse with him.
Now, Louie, would
you just calm down?
We got a problem here.
We're trying
to figure out
what to do
with Jim's horse.
Does the word glue
ring a bell with anybody?
Hey, Louie,
that ain't nice, Louie.
You want me to make it nice?
We'll use the glue
to paste Easter seals.
( knock at door )
Hey.
Hi. Hey, how you doing?
Glad you guys
could come over.
Hi, Jim.
Hi.
I, uh... like
your place, uh, Jim.
It's...
it's you, Jim.
When I first got it,
it was a fixer-upper.
Nice kitchen.
Thanks.
You get all your
electricity off that?
Yeah, I have to.
It's a condemned
building.
No kidding.
Yeah. The other
end's plugged in
to the apartment
across the way.
I hang my laundry
on the cord
so they don't notice.
Hey, Jim, you know,
now that you got
some steady money
coming in,
don't you think you
could afford to move?
Nah. I kind of
like living here.
The great thing
about living
in a condemned
building
is that nothing
can happen to it.
I mean,
what are they going to do--
come along and save it?
Hey, Jim, uh...
where's Gary?
Shh!
He's asleep
in the bedroom.
Ah! Well, how's
he been doing
the past couple
of weeks?
Oh, fine.
I got him some hay
and a horse blanket
and lots of good food,
and I got a heater
to keep the room warm.
Every horse
in the world
should be
treated that good.
Yeah. I take him out for
walks in the park every day.
Oh, yeah?
I imagine you must get
some funny looks, huh?
Yeah...
but those poodle people
have stopped acting
like they own the place.
Say, uh, why don't you guys
make yourself comfortable
and tell me what you found out.
Well, mainly
that there's
less of a demand
for used horses
in midtown Manhattan
than you might
think, Jim.
I checked the Police Academy,
but they only use
young, healthy horses.
We still didn't get an answer
on that ad in the paper.
There's dude ranches,
if you want
to take him someplace--
like Arizona.
Oh... it might do him good.
He's got a bad cough.
He's had it
ever since I got him.
Can't seem to kick it.
Jim, you know,
if he has a cough,
maybe you should have
a vet look at him.
I did.
He said I might have to, uh,
bring him in next week
for some tests.
Said he'd like
to take a look at me
while he's at it.
Walnuts?
Right on, Jim,
right on.
TONY:
So that means we're no better
off than when we started.
Nobody wants this horse.
That's right.
Well, you know,
I'm kind of glad
no one wants him.
I've been alone
a long time,
and I'm kind of
getting used to
having him around.
It's great
having someone
to have dinner with,
you know, watch TV
with, uh, talk to.
Hey, Jim, you got
a nutcracker?
Right in front
of you.
You mean the table?
By golly, I guess
that could be used
as a table.
Uh, you're not doing it right.
( cracking )
Well, thanks a lot, Jim.
Want another?
I think I'll just
save mine for later.
You guys.
( cracking )
Hey, Jim?
You think he's going
to wake up soon,
so we could say hello?
He's got to be.
He's been asleep quite a while.
Oh?
Incidentally, you know,
it's not true
what they say about horses
sleeping standing up.
Really? How does he sleep?
Uh... like this.
Uh, Jim, I, uh...
Jim, uh, tell me, uh,
how long has he been
sleeping like that?
Uh, since the day
before yesterday.
The day
before yesterday.
I guess winning that race
took a lot out of him.
Quite a bit.
Jim, uh, you mind
if I go and
take a look at him?
Sure, go ahead.
Hey, Bobby,
don't wake him up.
Which one?
Which is the guest room?
I'm not sure.
Jim, uh...
I-I'm afraid that...
that Gary
isn't going to go
for any more walks
with you, Jim.
Oh, no.
Gary?
Hey, Bobby,
what are you talking about?
The horse
hung himself?
Tony, he died.
He's taking it harder
than I thought he would.
Yeah. I wish we
could do something
to pick him up
a little bit,
you know?
Hey, Jim?
How you doing, Jim?
That apartment
seems real empty
without that horse.
You know, I'm really
surprised at you, Jim.
Here, Gary's been gone
a couple of days,
and we haven't had
a service for him.
A service?
Yeah. You know,
you may not have noticed,
but a lot of guys
in the garage
are really feeling
down about him.
Well, I'm not surprised.
That horse didn't have
an enemy in the world.
Well, you're a man
of the cloth, Jim.
You mean, like
a memorial service?
Yeah.
You know, like
a simple eulogy.
I mean, you must have
done it before, huh?
Uh... I must have.
Okay, uh... everybody?
You want to gather around?
Yeah, uh... we're going to have
a little service here for Gary.
Uh... the horse,
uh... died.
Bring a pew.
Nice, Bob.
Uh...
Please be seated.
I'll make this as brief
and simple as... possible,
because I think that's the way
he would have wanted it.
Now, uh, I don't know
what faith Gary was raised in,
but I know he was bred
and raised to run.
When he was young,
he was fast,
and I bet
it felt good.
He put everything he had
into going as fast
as he was able.
But, as he got older,
something began to happen.
He was running just as hard,
but all the other horses
were passing him by.
I don't know how much
animals understand,
but Gary
must have wondered
what the hell
was happening to him.
Right up to the last,
you could see
he thought that maybe,
if he could get out there
on a fast track
on a warm day,
it would all come back to him,
because, in his heart,
he was still a two-year-old.
I think, uh,
when your legs give out,
it's nice to have people around
who understand
what's in your heart.
( sobbing softly )
Well, I can't think
of anything else.
Is that enough, Alex?
Yes, that's
quite enough, Jim.
Thank you.
Don't worry about it.
Yeah, I know.
Take it easy.
Hey, Ignatowski? Ignatowski?
I'm, I... I really liked
what you said here.
Thanks, boss.
When the time comes,
you think you could
do that for my ma?
I mean, you
wouldn't even need
to change
the words much.
Anytime.
Thanks, Iggy.
( theme music playing )
WOMAN:
Night, Mr. Walters.
( grunts )
Who did you bet on
in the fourth race?
That stiff...
Hey, where have you guys been?
Aw, you don't want
to know, Elaine.
This is kind of
a sore point with you,
and I think
the less said about it
in front of you,
the better.
Last time we went to
the track, you went nuts.
I told her.
Maybe she missed it.
You mean that you guys
cannot think
of a better way
to throw away your money?
Nope. She got it.
Not everybody lost.
Latka won a few races.
He's got a system.
Oh, yeah?
Latka, what's your system?
Oh, uh, uh, my system
is based on the temperature.
You mean the temperature
of the air
has something to do
with how you bet?
Oh, no, no--
the temperature of the horse.
And you actually won money?
Yes. I won $12.
Uh-huh. How much did you lose?
$36.
I did that well
without a system.
Yeah, but can you
do it every time?
Guys, this
gambling thing
has got to stop.
Don't lecture, Nardo.
I suppose you don't have
any vices of your own.
Sure, I have vices.
I'll show you mine
if you show me yours.
Okay, forget it,
forget it.
I'm not going
to let this thing
upset me, all right?
Hey, I want to thank you
guys for taking me along.
You mean you took Jim with you?!
This man is just getting
his head beneath water,
and you have to go
and turn him on to
something gambling?
Nardo, would you...?
Forget it.
Okay, okay, okay.
I wish I'd started gambling
a long time ago.
I've been looking for something
to take the place in my life
of, uh, uh, what do you call it?
Uh... drugs?
No, thanks.
Well, what I mean is,
I never...
I never got into
the real kick of betting.
It makes life
so much more interesting.
Right now, that guy's
over there getting
something to drink.
Ordinarily, that wouldn't
mean a thing to me
but, if I were to bet
on what drink he'd choose,
the next few seconds
would be thrilling.
I got a buck that
says it's coffee.
Hey, hey, hey, Bob.
Vodka gimlet.
Jim!
Jim, there's only coffee
and hot chocolate
in that machine.
Well, so, give me odds.
BOBBY:
No, no, no.
ALEX:
Give him odds.
A hundred to one.
I can't pass that by.
Oh, for crying out loud.
Hey, uh, how's the gimlet?
It's coffee.
I told you so, man.
Thanks, Bobby.
You're welcome.
For giving
me that thrill.
My last thrill
for a while.
Hey, Jim, I didn't mean
to take your last dollar.
Then give it back.
Okay.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
Pooky... Juanina...
Alex, I really hope
that you're satisfied,
because you just turned Jim
into a gambling junkie.
Hey, come on, Elaine.
It's his money, you know?
It's his business.
It's his life.
And it's your fault.
Look, Elaine, just because
your ex-husband was a gambler...
Oh... do not bring
my ex-husband into this.
He has nothing
to do with this
whatsoever.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Do you know that my ex-husband
was a gambler?
It was rumored
to that effect, yes. Why?
Alex, I know
about gambling.
I mean, I'm
worried about Jim.
Excuse me.
Uh, are you fighting over me?
Well, perhaps we are, yeah.
Well, don't worry, Elaine,
because I don't have any more
money to gamble with anyhow.
Oh, Ignatowski,
can I see you a second?
How's it going, Pally?
Oh, average.
Sit down?
Sure.
Uh, Iggy, you want
to spin over here?
Oh.
Uh...
By any chance,
would you be interested
in borrowing a few bucks
to, say, gamble
on the horses?
Would you
lend that to me?
Sure.
You're a good risk.
I know you'd work real hard
to pay me back the loan
plus the interest,
which is the usual, uh, 85%.
Sounds like a good deal.
Is a handshake
good enough for you?
Sure.
Well, it ain't for me.
Just, uh,
sign it right there
on the dotted line.
Okeydoke.
Excuse me, boss.
What does this say
in the little tiny letters?
Oh, uh, that's just a,
you know, a formality.
That says, in the event
that you're unable
to pay me back,
I have the right
to sell your body for
medical experiments.
Oh, oh.
You mean after I'm dead.
No.
Right there.
Hi, everybody.
Hey, Alex.
Oh, hi, Alex.
Hey, have you seen Jim?
No, I haven't. Why?
'Cause none of us have
seen him lately, either.
He's been at the track
every day this week.
Am I really going to get
another anti-gambling sermon
from a woman holding a handful
of little pasteboards
with little pictures
of kings and queens on them?
She's got kings and queens?
I fold.
This is a game, Alex.
There's no money involved.
Oh, yeah.
I'm back in.
Hi, everybody.
Hi, Jim.
BOBBY:
Hi, Jim.
How you doing?
ALEX:
Jim, come here.
I want to talk to you.
Okeydoke.
Over here, Jim.
Look, Jim, I know
you've been at the track
very often now--
almost every day--
and maybe you're
enjoying yourself
but, Jim, look, there's
another side to gambling,
and I want
to tell you about it.
Look, Jim, first,
you borrow from Louie.
Then, when he
runs out of money,
you'll have to go
to a loan shark.
Fine.
Fine? No, no, no.
Jim, the next thing you know,
you're going to get a visit
from some guy with no neck
carrying a baseball bat, and
he wants his money back, Jim!
I'll, uh...
give him the money.
But you won't
have the money, Jim!
I'll ask him
to wait a while.
Yeah. He'll say,
( deep voice ):
Ignatowski,
I waited long enough.
Well, um, I need
a little time.
Ignatowski,
you got two choices:
You either pay me
the money now,
or you pay me the money now.
Yeah, he pulls that,
and I'll call the cops.
Jim, what are the police
going to do for you?
They'll protect me.
I'll tell them there's a man
trying to kill me.
( nasal voice ):
Oh, yeah? Ignatowski?
You say your name is Ignatowski?
Oh, that name rings a bell.
Are you the same Ignatowski
who was smoking
an illegal substance
on the 24th of May, 1968,
and then you ran
six red lights...
Five! Five lights!
Huh?
Huh?
I got to
get out of town.
I'll hide
in my folks' house.
( accent ):
Jim, Jim, it's so good
to have you back home.
My son.
There were
some strange men
came here today,
say you owe
them some money.
They took
away your mama.
Mom!
So, now, what are
you going to do, Jim?
I'll go see a priest!
I don't do priests.
You got to.
It's my only hope.
Look, Jim, you've got
to control yourself.
You got to get
some kind of control
about this gambling.
You're right. I quit.
I quit forever.
Good, Jim.
You're going to quit,
and you're going
to pay back all of your losses.
What losses?
All the money that
you lost gambling.
I haven't lost money
gambling. I won $10,000.
You won $10,000?
You see that? He won.
Jim, just don't forget
who got you started.
I bet $35 on a
300-to-one long shot
named "On Dasher."
BOBBY:
You bet on a
300-to-one shot?
Yeah, well, I identify
with the long shots.
Here you are, Louie--
every penny of your money,
plus interest,
plus a couple of bucks
for your troubles.
You see that?
All your complaining,
all your lecturing--
the guy walks in here
richer than all of us.
He can now change his life
if he wants to.
So what are you going
to do with the rest
of the money, Jim?
Nothing. I've
already spent it.
What?!
What?!
What were you saying?
He spent all his...?
You spent all
your money?
You spent the rest
of all that money?!
How many bars
are between
the track and here?
Uh, 84... but I didn't
go into any of them.
How could you win $10,000
on a horse race,
and then blow
it all immediately?
What did you spend
the money on, Jim?
Ignatowski!
Yo?
Thanks.
They, uh,
threw in the saddle.
He bought
a racehorse.
I know he bought
a racehorse.
I can see a racehorse.
He bought a racehorse!
He used to be a racehorse.
But, after the race,
I took one look at him--
all sweaty and foamy
and favoring one leg
and limping
on the other three.
It broke my heart.
It seemed to me
he won that money for me,
so I felt I should
return the favor.
So I went up
to the owner
and I asked him
how much would it cost me
to buy that horse.
And he said,
"How much you got?"
And, would you believe it?
It was the same.
Huh?
Bobby.
Yeah?
You want to give me a hand
with the saddle here?
Yeah, sure.
Ask him what
he's going to do
with a racehorse.
What are you going to do
with a racehorse, Jim?!
I'm, uh, giving him his freedom.
He's giving him
his... What?
ALEX:
Hey! Hey!
Hey, come on, everybody,
let's get that horse!
How are we going
to catch a horse?
He's a 300-to-one shot.
We can outrun him.
ALEX:
Oh, boy.
Let him go,
everybody.
I want him to be free.
Jim, you can't just
let a horse run free
on the streets of New York.
Jim, this is not
the frontier.
There's no place
for On Dasher to go
on the streets
of New York.
Alex, don't call him On Dasher.
That was his slave name.
Oh.
Well, what's
his new name?
Uh...
uh... Gary.
Gary. That's
a nice name. Gary.
Get that ugly, smelly,
dirty creature
out of my garage,
and tell him
to take his horse with him.
Now, Louie, would
you just calm down?
We got a problem here.
We're trying
to figure out
what to do
with Jim's horse.
Does the word glue
ring a bell with anybody?
Hey, Louie,
that ain't nice, Louie.
You want me to make it nice?
We'll use the glue
to paste Easter seals.
( knock at door )
Hey.
Hi. Hey, how you doing?
Glad you guys
could come over.
Hi, Jim.
Hi.
I, uh... like
your place, uh, Jim.
It's...
it's you, Jim.
When I first got it,
it was a fixer-upper.
Nice kitchen.
Thanks.
You get all your
electricity off that?
Yeah, I have to.
It's a condemned
building.
No kidding.
Yeah. The other
end's plugged in
to the apartment
across the way.
I hang my laundry
on the cord
so they don't notice.
Hey, Jim, you know,
now that you got
some steady money
coming in,
don't you think you
could afford to move?
Nah. I kind of
like living here.
The great thing
about living
in a condemned
building
is that nothing
can happen to it.
I mean,
what are they going to do--
come along and save it?
Hey, Jim, uh...
where's Gary?
Shh!
He's asleep
in the bedroom.
Ah! Well, how's
he been doing
the past couple
of weeks?
Oh, fine.
I got him some hay
and a horse blanket
and lots of good food,
and I got a heater
to keep the room warm.
Every horse
in the world
should be
treated that good.
Yeah. I take him out for
walks in the park every day.
Oh, yeah?
I imagine you must get
some funny looks, huh?
Yeah...
but those poodle people
have stopped acting
like they own the place.
Say, uh, why don't you guys
make yourself comfortable
and tell me what you found out.
Well, mainly
that there's
less of a demand
for used horses
in midtown Manhattan
than you might
think, Jim.
I checked the Police Academy,
but they only use
young, healthy horses.
We still didn't get an answer
on that ad in the paper.
There's dude ranches,
if you want
to take him someplace--
like Arizona.
Oh... it might do him good.
He's got a bad cough.
He's had it
ever since I got him.
Can't seem to kick it.
Jim, you know,
if he has a cough,
maybe you should have
a vet look at him.
I did.
He said I might have to, uh,
bring him in next week
for some tests.
Said he'd like
to take a look at me
while he's at it.
Walnuts?
Right on, Jim,
right on.
TONY:
So that means we're no better
off than when we started.
Nobody wants this horse.
That's right.
Well, you know,
I'm kind of glad
no one wants him.
I've been alone
a long time,
and I'm kind of
getting used to
having him around.
It's great
having someone
to have dinner with,
you know, watch TV
with, uh, talk to.
Hey, Jim, you got
a nutcracker?
Right in front
of you.
You mean the table?
By golly, I guess
that could be used
as a table.
Uh, you're not doing it right.
( cracking )
Well, thanks a lot, Jim.
Want another?
I think I'll just
save mine for later.
You guys.
( cracking )
Hey, Jim?
You think he's going
to wake up soon,
so we could say hello?
He's got to be.
He's been asleep quite a while.
Oh?
Incidentally, you know,
it's not true
what they say about horses
sleeping standing up.
Really? How does he sleep?
Uh... like this.
Uh, Jim, I, uh...
Jim, uh, tell me, uh,
how long has he been
sleeping like that?
Uh, since the day
before yesterday.
The day
before yesterday.
I guess winning that race
took a lot out of him.
Quite a bit.
Jim, uh, you mind
if I go and
take a look at him?
Sure, go ahead.
Hey, Bobby,
don't wake him up.
Which one?
Which is the guest room?
I'm not sure.
Jim, uh...
I-I'm afraid that...
that Gary
isn't going to go
for any more walks
with you, Jim.
Oh, no.
Gary?
Hey, Bobby,
what are you talking about?
The horse
hung himself?
Tony, he died.
He's taking it harder
than I thought he would.
Yeah. I wish we
could do something
to pick him up
a little bit,
you know?
Hey, Jim?
How you doing, Jim?
That apartment
seems real empty
without that horse.
You know, I'm really
surprised at you, Jim.
Here, Gary's been gone
a couple of days,
and we haven't had
a service for him.
A service?
Yeah. You know,
you may not have noticed,
but a lot of guys
in the garage
are really feeling
down about him.
Well, I'm not surprised.
That horse didn't have
an enemy in the world.
Well, you're a man
of the cloth, Jim.
You mean, like
a memorial service?
Yeah.
You know, like
a simple eulogy.
I mean, you must have
done it before, huh?
Uh... I must have.
Okay, uh... everybody?
You want to gather around?
Yeah, uh... we're going to have
a little service here for Gary.
Uh... the horse,
uh... died.
Bring a pew.
Nice, Bob.
Uh...
Please be seated.
I'll make this as brief
and simple as... possible,
because I think that's the way
he would have wanted it.
Now, uh, I don't know
what faith Gary was raised in,
but I know he was bred
and raised to run.
When he was young,
he was fast,
and I bet
it felt good.
He put everything he had
into going as fast
as he was able.
But, as he got older,
something began to happen.
He was running just as hard,
but all the other horses
were passing him by.
I don't know how much
animals understand,
but Gary
must have wondered
what the hell
was happening to him.
Right up to the last,
you could see
he thought that maybe,
if he could get out there
on a fast track
on a warm day,
it would all come back to him,
because, in his heart,
he was still a two-year-old.
I think, uh,
when your legs give out,
it's nice to have people around
who understand
what's in your heart.
( sobbing softly )
Well, I can't think
of anything else.
Is that enough, Alex?
Yes, that's
quite enough, Jim.
Thank you.
Don't worry about it.
Yeah, I know.
Take it easy.
Hey, Ignatowski? Ignatowski?
I'm, I... I really liked
what you said here.
Thanks, boss.
When the time comes,
you think you could
do that for my ma?
I mean, you
wouldn't even need
to change
the words much.
Anytime.
Thanks, Iggy.
( theme music playing )
WOMAN:
Night, Mr. Walters.
( grunts )