Taxi (1978–1983): Season 1, Episode 18 - Bobby's Big Break - full transcript

Actor/Cab Driver Bobby Wheeler lands a role on a daytime soap opera and thinks he's done with being a cab driver. Louie DePalma cynically believes Bobby will be back and can't wait to "let him have it" when he does. This possibility leads Alex Reiger to really have it out with Louie to prevent him from possibly humiliating Bobby.

( theme music playing )

LOUIE:
All right now, we got
some cabs to get out here.

Ryan-- 1620.

Arnie-- 214.

Hey, cha-cha, get
out of that cab.

Cavalucci-- 916.

Wheeler-- 1136.

Uh, skip Bobby.

He isn't in yet.

He isn't in yet?

A doctor isn't in yet.



A cabbie is late.

It's all right.
He had a good excuse.

I'll accept "dead."

He had an important
audition this afternoon

for an acting job.

Hey, an audition.

That's great.

Well, not great.

He had it this afternoon.
I figured he isn't in yet

because he didn't get the part
and he's feeling depressed.

Oh. The old shattered
dreams bit, huh?

Well, if he thinks
he's depressed now,

wait till I get through
with him.

ALEX:
Hey, Bob.



Wheeler. You're late

and I don't want to
hear any lame excuses.

I don't want to hear
about your other troubles.

I got a garage to run here.

Don't smile at me
when I'm yelling at you.

What's the matter
with you?

You on something?

Why ain't he looking miserable?

I got the job.

You what?

You got it?

I got the part.

They told me right there
at the audition.

I'm gonna make two appearances

on a soap opera
called For Better For Worse.

Television?

That is terrific.

My man!

Unbelievable.

Bushgalay.

Being on a soap opera

is not what I
always dreamed of,

but it's a start.

It's a chance to be seen.

I can still work on my craft.

I can still
develop my technique.

And pick up a hell
of a lot of bread.

Hey, when does this happen?

I mean, when do we
get to see you?

I make my first appearance
on Friday

and then
I'm on again Tuesday,

and then, like,
if things go real well

I could maybe, well, you know...

like, maybe it'll
go on longer, you know?

You mean full-time?

Well, I don't know yet.

Let me tell you
the plot line, okay?

I play this guy named Skip.

I was a boyfriend
of the star's, right?

We had this argument
four years ago

and I left town mad,
only then I got amnesia

and wandered around in a fog
somewhere the whole time,

but now I'm recovered
and I'm coming back home.

I just don't believe it.

This is so exciting.

Thrilling.

Hey, Louie,
the least

you can do is
congratulate the man.

You got cab 1136.

Congratulations.

All right,
come on, you clowns.

Let's get going here.

Let's get some meat
behind the wheel.

Bobby?

I would like
to wish you bad luck.

No. You mean
good luck, Latka.

No, no. You see, in my country,

it is bad luck
to wish a person good luck.

So when we want
to wish a person good luck,

we say "bad luck."

Oh. That's
an interesting custom.

Uh, what do you do

when you want somebody
to have bad luck?

We kick him in the yatabe.

ANNOUNCER:
For Better For Worse
will continue

after this message.

What do you think so far?

You weren't in it.

It's not over yet.

You see, I'm on
after this commercial.

What I meant was, what
do you think of the way

they've been talking about me
throughout the whole show?

They're giving me
a big buildup, right?

It's neat just hearing
the name Skip

and knowing it's you.

I never thought I'd see the day

when my cabbies
would be watching a TV show

instead of out making big bucks.

I'm ashamed.

I can't help thinking
of all the people out there

waiting for taxis
that ain't coming--

all the old people,
and the sick, and the infirm,

and the preggos.

Boy, you know, that Olivia,
she's really a good actress.

In that last scene where she
was supposed to be crying,

those were real tears.

She cries in every scene.

She cries if she's happy,
she cries if she's sad,

she cries if she doesn't
know if she's happy or sad.

Hey, she's going to cry again.

Turn up the sound.

WOMAN:
Olivia, relax.

You're as nervous
as a cat.

I haven't seen Skip
in four years.

I thought
I'd never see him again.

Wouldn't you be nervous?

There's so much
I have to tell him.

You mean, about you and David?

Hey, you can't feel guilty.

You can't blame yourself
for what's happened.

Skip's amnesia
wasn't your fault.

OLIVIA:
I know.

I just keep thinking
if we hadn't fought,

all this would never
have happened.

But it did happen

and a lot has changed
in four years.

Skip can't expect you to have
the same feelings for him.

I suppose not.

Unless...

Unless what?

Nothing.

No, no. Go on.

You were going to say

unless I do have the
same feelings for him.

Well... do you?

( sobbing: )
I don't know.

How can I tell
until I've seen him again?

( knock at door )

That's Skip now.

Come in.

Hello.

Skip...

Gee, what a heavy moment.

Yeah, that was very
dramatic, you know?

So, uh, you liked it then,
right?

Liked it?

Liked it?

We loved it.

Hey, how come

they only let you say
one word?

It makes it more
dramatic that way.

This way everybody
will tune back on Monday

to see what happens.

What happens?

I don't know yet.

They actually don't get
back to us until Tuesday.

I'm waiting for them
to deliver the script now

so I can find out myself.

Oh, wow.
Thanks, John.

Hey, Bob, Bob.

If she's falling
for you again,

that means you get to do more
than just two shows, right?

My agent says
that if they

develop a thing
between her and me,

I could get a season
out of it.

Wouldn't that be great?

I could save my money and wait
for a really good part.

Oh, come on script.

Hey, I don't want
to burst your bubble...

but you think Olivia

is going to dump
that David guy for you?

No way.

The girl is nuts about him.

She even forgave him

for having an affair
with her uncle.

Hey Louie, are
you telling us

that you watch this
show regularly?

My mother watches it.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I'd make her turn it off

only it's a half hour a day
I don't have to talk to her.

Yap, yap, yap.

MAN:
Bobby Wheeler?

Over here.
Oh, boy, is that my script?

Yep.
Oh, great.

Just initial.

I'm holding my future
in my hands.

Well, come on--

you going to tell
us what happens?

I already told you
what's going to happen.

I don't believe it.

What? What? What? What?

Read what Olivia says there.

"Olivia, with tears
in her eyes:

'I love Skip.'"

She says she loves me.

Look what it says over here.

"Olivia, sobbing
incessantly:

"'I knew it the instant
I saw him again--

he's the only man in the
world I could ever love.'"

Hey, Bobby, you're in!
You're in!

Hey, fantastic!

Let me see that.

TONY:
That means you're going
to do more shows?

A lot more.

I'm going to be
a full-time actor.

That's the first time in my life
I can say that.

I'm an actor.

You son of a gun, you did it.

I made it, Alex.

I made it out
of the garage.

I hope your career
goes in the toilet.

Thanks a lot,
Latka, really.

See, in his country,

they got this
strange custom...

Don't explain.

Hey, Louie.

Hey, Lou.

( chuckles )

Here. I want you to keep this
as a remembrance of me.

It's my hack license.

Now you can show it
to all your friends

and tell them,
"I knew him when."

You better hang
on to it, Wheeler,

'cause you're
going to need it

when you come crawling
back in here.

You got it all
wrong, Louie.

When I walk out of those doors,
I ain't never coming back.

Oh, you'll be back.

They all come back.

Only one guy
ever made it out

in the whole history
of this garage

and that was James Caan...

and he'll be back.

You're a loser, Wheeler.

You always was,
and you always will be.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

You'll be back, Wheeler...

and when you come back,
I'll be waiting.

Ooh, will I be waiting.

( muted chuckle )

( guitar playing the blues )

( doorbell rings )

( on TV ):
Wouldn't you be nervous?

There's so much...

What are you guys doing here?

Why'd they have to come here.

You can't feel guilty.

You can't blame yourself.

Surprise.

Come on. It's freezing.

How you doing, John?

( For Better for Worse theme
playing )

What are you guys
doing here anyway?

Well, we were wondering

why we didn't see you
around the garage

for a couple
of weeks,

and so we wondered
how you were.

And where you were.

We figure you've been busy
with the show.

Yeah.

Watching the show
I see, huh?

Hey, Bobby,
if this is a bad time,

we can leave
and come back later.

Or not come back again.

Listen, we realize

things change.

I mean, we realize that your
life is very different now

and maybe there's
not enough room in it

for a bunch of cabbies
like us.

Is that why you guys
came over here?

'Cause you thought I didn't want
to hang around anymore?

Well, we didn't really
think that.

Oh, yeah, you did.

I didn't return
your phone calls,

so you thought I got stuck up
or something, right?

Why didn't you
return our calls?

'Cause I didn't feel like it.

Oh, well, that clears that up,
doesn't it?

I didn't
feel like it

because I was too depressed.

Depressed? About what?

OLIVIA:
Julia, you're the first one
I'm telling.

Skip and I... Skip and I
are going to be married.

Hey, married--
congratulations!

Shh!
Shh!

Olivia, I'm so
happy for you.

I know it's
what you want.

( phone rings )

Hello?

Yes, this is she.

What?

Oh, no!
Oh my God, no!

Olivia, what is it?

It's Skip.

He's been rushed
to the hospital.

He's had an accident.

Accident?
When? How?

What happened?

When? How?

What happened?

( sobbing: )
Oh, no.

Olivia... don't cry.

I can't help it.

I want... to...

Shhh, don't try to talk.

I have to.

I have to.

I have to.

I... I... love you.

Remember.

It's going to be all right.

You'll see.

I'm... I'm just glad that...
we had time...

Skip... Skip!

Oh, God... no!

He's dead.

Skip's dead.

No wonder you're depressed,
Bobby.

Poor guy.

Yeah, it doesn't seem fair.

First amnesia and now this.

He's talking about Bobby.

Bobby?

Bobby's young.

Bobby's still got his health.

What chance has Skip got?

Oh, I'm really sorry, Bobby.

If it makes you
feel any better,

you really did
a beautiful job.

Thanks.

I take it you saw this coming?

Yeah, they told me
two weeks ago.

They said they liked my work
and everything,

but figured Olivia needed
more tragedy in her life.

Right, she hadn't had
a good cry in seconds.

So when's the funeral?

Anyway...

That's why
I didn't call you guys.

I just wasn't up to it,
you know?

So, any idea what
you're going to do now?

What else?

I'm going to get a job.
I have to.

So, fine,
come back to the garage.

No way.

I walked out of there
the conquering hero.

What am I going to look like
if I come back now?

You'll look like the rest of us.

I just don't think,
I can do it, Alex.

ALEX:
Why not?

Oh, it's Louie,
isn't it?

Mm-hmm.

It sure is Louie.

If I come back there now,
he is going to tear me apart

in front
of the whole garage.

So what, he's done that before.

Yeah, but this time
he's got a right to.

Maybe I should
just go back there

and let him dance
all over my face

and get it over with.

Hey, look,
maybe it won't be

so bad as you think.

Look, I'll see you back
in the garage, okay?

Hey, wait a minute.
It's coming back on.
Shh!

OLIVIA:
Poor Skip.

I didn't even get a chance
to tell him.

Tell him what?

I'm going to have
his baby.

Way to go, Bobby.

Hey, Louie, can I talk
to you for a minute?

Sure, Alex.

What's on your mind?

Well, you know

Bobby's run
into some rotten luck.

I know. I saw the show.

Har, har, har.

Louie, Louie, look, you know,
acting is Bobby's dream.

I mean, it's his soul.

It's his reason
for living.

You know, to have a dream
like that come true,

to have it finally
within your grasp,

and then to lose
it all again,

do you have any idea
how he must feel?

Like hell.

Louie, Louie, listen,
listen to me.

He's coming in
any minute.

No kidding!

Louie, all he wants is to have
his old job back.

( evil laughter )

Louie, Louie, Louie! Louie!

Look, you just got to do
me one big favor, okay?

Now, it's a very
hard thing

for Bobby to come
back here like this.

So please, don't make him feel
any worse than he does, okay?

Ooh, am I going to love this.

I am going to love it.

Louie, come here. Sit down.

Please, sit down.

I don't know how
to get through to you.

Look, um...

Look, we all know each other
very well in this garage, right?

We know you and how you act,
and we all accept that,

but this is something
very special.

Now I'm asking you the best way
I know how--

When Bobby walks
through that door,

please, just leave him alone.
Okay?

You really mean this,
don't you?

Yes, I do.

Well then, I guess there's only
one thing I can say.

Blow it out your ear,
Rieger!

When Wheeler
walks through that door

I am going to give it to him

like I have never given it
to nobody.

( grunts )

I am going to rub
his nose in it.

I am going to make him squeal
like an eel

and squirm like a worm.

That does it, Louie!

You just got me angry.

Ooh, I'm trembling

in my booties.

Well, you better tremble

because you've just gone
too far.

You think humiliating
people is fun, don't you?

You think you're pretty cute
this way, don't you?

I am cute.

No, you're not
cute, Louie,

and you're not clever.

It's not hard
to humiliate people.

It's not hard to make

people feel rotten
about their lives.

The difficult thing
is to make people feel good

about their lives.
Humiliating them, that's simple.

I'll show you how simple it is.
Here, take a look at this.

Simple, huh?

What the hell
are you doing?

I was just giving you
a lesson, Louie,

on how easy it is to make people
feel ridiculous.

You see that?

You're crazy!

The man is crazy!

He's a whack!

ALEX:
Louie, come here!

Ha-ha-ha!

Your friend, Wheeler,
is a loser, Rieger

and I'm going to tell him
he's a loser

and I'm going
to love telling him

he's a loser.

* He's a loser

* He's a loser

* Nyah, nyah, nyah

* He's a loser, he's a loser

* He's a loser

* He's a loser...

You're not finished yet?

Louie, I'm warning you--

Don't screw around with Bobby,
you hear me?

What do you mean,
you're warning me?

Are you threatening me
with physical violence, Alex?

I'm not saying
it won't work.

I just want to know.

No, I'm not threatening you.

Well, do you got
something on me?

Are you
blackmailing me?

I'm just telling you this
very simply, Louie.

Don't do what you're thinking
of doing to Bobby.

Just don't do it.

Oh, yeah?

Why not?

Because...

you shouldn't.

I shouldn't?

That's the reason
I shouldn't?

I shouldn't?

I shouldn't?

I shouldn't!

Oh, no, no, no, no!

I shouldn't.

I shouldn't!

You shouldn't, you shouldn't!

I shouldn't.

( evil laughter )

Nice having you back, Bobby.

Hey, Louie.

Listen, I got to tell you,

I was really knocked out
when I came in here yesterday

and you were so nice to me.

Yeah?

Yeah. I want to tell you,
I really appreciate it.

I thought you were
going to dump on me

and say things
like, uh... "Well.

"If it isn't
the big movie star.

"Come back
to sign autographs?

"You got a movie
contract yet, bigshot?

"Ooh, ooh, why, you look
just like the poor slob

"who walked out of here
a few weeks ago

swearing he was never
going to come back."

( evil laughter )

"What a loser!"

You like that?

Ooh-- oh, Bobby.

I wouldn't have said
no things like that.

Naw. But I probably
would have said

"Here comes the great ac-tor

"bringing his aura
into our crummy garage.

"I'm glad they finally found
a role worthy of your talents--

A stiff!"

And then I might have
turned on the PA like this

and I might have said,
"Hey, everybody

"you remember Bobby Wheeler
when he was a nobody?

"Then you won't have any
problems recognizing him now.

"Come on.

"Gather 'round and see

how a famous actor
eats crow."

But I guess I'm just
too nice a guy for that.

Yeah, well, thanks a lot

for not doing that, Louie.

Don't mention it.