Tattoo Nightmares Miami (2014–…): Season 1, Episode 6 - That's Tucked Up - full transcript

NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE,

THERE'S NOTHING WORSE
THAN A BAD TATTOO.

NOW, THREE ARTISTS
HAVE COME TOGETHER

TO TAKE ON MIAMI'S MOST
IMPOSSIBLE TATTOO NIGHTMARES.

- MIAMI'S MY HOME.
YOU'RE IN MY HOUSE NOW.

- DON'T LET
THIS PRETTY FACE FOOL YOU.

I AM ALL BUSINESS, BABY.

- LOVE ME OR HATE ME,

THE WORK ALWAYS
SPEAKS FOR ITSELF.

THEY'RE GOING UP
AGAINST THE MOST INSANE

ORIGINAL TATTOOS...



- I WANT A TATTOO IN MY ARMPIT.

- SERIOUSLY?
THE ARMPIT?

AND OUTRAGEOUS
COVER-UPS.

- AAH!

- WAIT, WHY THE NIPPLE OUT OF
ALL THE PLACES?

- CALL 9-1-1!

- DAMN!

THIS IS
TATTOO NIGHTMARES: MIAMI.

- GIVE ME THAT LITTLE ORANGE
GIDDY-UP RIGHT THERE.

- THIS ONE?
- NO, THE ONE NEXT TO IT.

- THE ORANGE GIDDY-UP
RIGHT THERE.

- CLINT AND REESE FLIRT
ALL DAY LONG,

LIKE LITTLE SCHOOLKIDS.

SERIOUSLY, THESE TWO
NEED TO 'FESS UP.



I THINK WE HAVE SOME CRUSHING
GOING ON AROUND HERE.

- I LOVE YOUR ACCENT.
THAT IS ALL OUT OF LOVE.

HUGE, HUGE LOVE.
- SHE'S FLIRTING HARD TODAY,

AIN'T SHE?

- ALL RIGHT.

THIS SHOULD BE
YOUR FAVORITE GAME.

IT'S ALL ABOUT BREAKING BALLS.

- OH, YOU'RE RIGHT.

- YOU SHOULD BE AN EXPERT.
- YEAH.

YOU MESS WITH ME, YOU'RE GONNA
GET THE GOOD OLD ONE-TWO.

- LITTLE HEARTBREAKER
OVER THERE.

HEY.

- HI, HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M GOOD.

- NICE TO MEET YOU.
I'M GRISEL.

- I'M CLINT.
WHAT BRINGS YOU

INTO THE STUDIO, HONEY?

- I DON'T EVEN KNOW
HOW TO START.

BECAUSE IT'S IN
A COMPLICATED AREA,

AND IT'S BEEN WORKED ON
A COUPLE OF TIMES.

- WHAT AM I DEALING WITH HERE?

I KNEW THE FIRST TIME I MET YOU,

MY PANTIES WERE GONNA COME OFF.

OH, HO-HO!

ARE YOU READY?
OKAY.

- I'M--OH.

WHAT THE HELL DID YOU
DO TO YOURSELF?

- IT USED TO BE A BUTTERFLY.

- THAT IS A TRAIN WRECK
IN YOUR PANTS.

- YEAH.

MY TATTOO IS A COMPLETE MESS.

AND THEN I HAVE A SCAR
GOING FROM HIP TO HIP.

IT'S KIND OF LIKE
THE WHOLE PELVIS AREA.

IT'S A DEAD ZONE.

AND I JUST WANT
TO FEEL LIKE A WOMAN

AND BE CONFIDENT AGAIN.

- WHERE THE HELL
DID THE REST OF IT GO?

- IT'S A TEN-YEAR PLAGUE.
- TEN YEARS?

- I GOT A TATTOO.
THEN I HAD TO COVER THAT UP.

THEN I GOT PREGNANT,
AND THEN I GOT A TUMMY TUCK.

- IS THAT A SURGICAL SCAR?
- YEAH.

- WHO THE HELL DID YOUR SURGERY,

DR. KEVORKIAN?

- THAT THING IS BAD.
- RIGHT.

- WHY DON'T WE GO BACK
TO MY STATION, OKAY?

I AIN'T NEVER SEEN ANYTHING
LIKE THIS.

IT LOOKED A CIVIL WAR POPPED OFF
IN THEM PANTIES, OKAY?

THAT'S A HELL OF A SCAR.
- I KNOW.

IT'S REALLY AFFECTED
MY CONFIDENCE.

AND IF I DON'T FEEL
COMFORTABLE PHYSICALLY,

HOW AM I GONNA HAVE
A STABLE RELATIONSHIP?

- HAS IT--HAS IT BEEN THAT BAD?

- YEAH, I HAVE NO DESIRE TO
LOOK AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR.

AND EVEN LESS TO HAVE
SOMEONE ELSE LOOK AT ME.

- SO, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?

- AFTER I HAD MY SON,

I'VE GROWN INTO
BECOMING A BETTER PERSON.

I BLOOMED, INTERNALLY.

SO, I WAS THINKING,

MAYBE BLOOMING,
TRADITIONAL ROSES.

- THE MAJOR THING THAT'S
REALLY GONNA HINDER THIS

IS THE FACT THAT
THAT SCAR IS SO UNEVEN.

YOU KNOW,
I COULD VERY WELL TATTOO THIS,

AND IT COULD FLARE IT UP
AND MAKE IT WORSE.

LET ME GO BACK
AND SEE WHAT I CAN DO.

WE'LL GO FROM THERE.
OKAY?

- THANK YOU.
- ABSOLUTELY.

IT IS A SENSITIVE AREA,

AND IT'S BEEN SCRIBBLED ON
SEVERAL TIMES

THROUGHOUT THE YEARS.
AND THEN IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH,

I HAVE TO HIDE THAT SCAR.

BUT WHEN YOU'RE HIDING
A SCAR THAT BAD,

IT CAN MAKE IT WORSE
BY GOING OVER IT

BECAUSE
TATTOOING IS SCARIFICATION.

SO, I'M FIGHTING FIRE WITH FIRE
HERE.

- WHAT DO YOU GOT GOING ON HERE?

- THIS RIGHT HERE IS
A TUMMY TUCK SCAR

THAT WAS DONE TERRIBLY.

CRAZY PART IS, IS SHE'S HAD THIS
THING COLORED AND WORKED ON

MULTIPLE TIMES
FOR THE LAST TEN YEARS.

- SO SHE HAS THIS IN MULTIPLE
COVER-UP, PLUS THE SCAR?

- SHE LITERALLY CAME IN
AND TOLD ME

THAT I HAVE TO SAVE HER VAGINA.

THIS IS CONFIRMATION.

THE MOHAWK IS A PANTY-DROPPER.

- OH, WOW.

- JUST SAYING.
- OKAY, WELL.

I'LL JUST HAVE TO
TAKE YOUR WORD FOR THAT ONE.

HAVE FUN.

HELLO.

- HEY, HOW ARE YOU DOING?
- I'M GOOD.

HOW ARE YOU?
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

- I'M GOOD. MIGUEL.
- I'M REESE.

SO, WHAT BRINGS YOU
INTO OUR SHOP TODAY?

- I'M HERE TO COVER UP A TATTOO.

- IS IT REALLY BAD?
- YEAH.

- I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO
SEE IT IF IT'S REALLY BAD.

- I WANT YOU TO SEE IT
SO YOU CAN, YOU KNOW,

WORK YOUR MAGIC.
- YEAH?

WELL, LET ME GO AHEAD
AND CHECK IT OUT.

- YEAH, SURE.
- OH.

OH, MY GOD.
DUDE.

AW, YOU POOR DEAR.
THAT IS ALL BLOWN OUT.

YIKES.

- MY TATTOO WAS MEANT TO
HONOR MY GRANDMOTHER,

NOT TO TARNISH HER MEMORY.

I LOVE BARGAINS,

BUT I'LL NEVER GET
A BARGAIN TATTOO EVER AGAIN.

- I'M, UH, I'M KIND OF
AT A LOSS RIGHT NOW.

UM, HEY, CLINT.

WILL YOU COME
CHECK THIS OUT FOR ME?

THE LINES ARE AS IF
SOMEONE DUG A NEEDLE INTO HIM

AND JUST
RAN IT STRAIGHT DOWN HIS ARM.

- EVERY SINGLE LINE IS...

BLOWN OUT.

- IT LOOKS LIKE HE DID IT
WITH A BENT NEEDLE.

- THIS RIGHT HERE
IS ALMOST 10, 12 LINES

RIGHT ON TOP OF EACH OTHER.

- ALL OF THAT LINE WORK,
BREAKING THAT UP,

IS GONNA BE SO DIFFICULT.
- IT MIGHT AS WELL JUST BE

A BIG LETTER.

- YEAH, THAT'S WHY I CAME TO
YOU GUYS AT TATTOO NIGHTMARES.

SEE WHAT YOU GUYS CAN DO.

- REESE IS A MIRACLE WORKER,

SO I'M GONNA
WISH YOU GUYS THE BEST.

IF YOU NEED ME, I'M OVER THERE.

- LET'S, UH, COME BACK
TO MY STATION, HAVE YOU

TAKE A SEAT, AND WE'LL TALK
ABOUT WHAT WE CAN DO, OKAY?

MIGUEL'S COVER-UP IS THE HARDEST
COVER-UP I'VE EVER ATTEMPTED.

A CROSS IS REALLY,
REALLY RECOGNIZABLE,

AND ON TOP OF THAT,
THE FACT THAT

HIS TATTOO IS
SO SCARRED AND RAISED--

IT'S A 3-D CROSS,
WHICH MAKES THIS TATTOO

ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO COVER UP.

- YEAH, THIS IS FOR MY
GRANDMOTHER, YOU KNOW, SO--

- THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE
A TRIBUTE FOR YOUR GRANDMOTHER?

- YEAH, AND SHE WAS
ALWAYS PRAYING, YOU KNOW,

WITH THE ROSARY BEADS.

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HER NAME
AND, YOU KNOW,

COULDN'T EVEN FIT IT
IN THE RIBBONS.

IT DOESN'T EVEN
LOOK LIKE RIBBON.

IT LOOKS LIKE ROPE.
JUST TARNISHING HER MEMORY.

- WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO?
- I WAS THINKING OF, LIKE,

GETTING A WOMAN DANCING,
YOU KNOW,

MUSIC NOTES.

'CAUSE MY GRANDMOTHER
WAS INTO MUSIC A LOT.

SHE LOVED THE BONGOS, MARACAS.

- YOU'RE REALLY PUTTING
THAT PRESSURE ON ME, MAN.

- SIT TIGHT.
SEE WHAT I CAN DO, OKAY?

- OKAY, NO PROBLEM.

- I HAVE TO BE
VERY, VERY, VERY STRATEGIC

IN WHAT I DECIDE TO PLACE THERE.

YOU CAN SEE ALL OF THESE
STRAIGHT EDGES.

IT'S LIKE A SUDOKU PUZZLE.

YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE
EVERYTHING'S PERFECT

FOR IT TO WORK.

IF IT'S NOT PERFECT IN ONE AREA,
YOU'RE GONNA SEE THROUGH IT.

THIS IS...

A NIGHTMARE.

- HEY, MAN.
HOW YOU DOING, MAN?

- HOW YOU DOING?
- WELCOME, WELCOME, WELCOME.

- HOW YOU DOING?
MY NAME'S MITCH.

- MY NAME'S HIGH NOON.
WHAT BRINGS YOU IN HERE?

- NOBODY WANTS TO DO
THIS TATTOO FOR ME

BECAUSE THEY THINK
I'M GONNA PANIC AND CHOKE.

- WHAT KIND OF TATTOO
YOU TALKING ABOUT?

- TALKING ABOUT THE THROAT.

- OHH-KAY.

DEEP THROAT ACTION, HUH?

SORT OF IN A SENSE...

IN A SENSE,
I GUESS YOU COULD SAY.

- IT'S A DIFFICULT AREA
TO WORK WITH,

AND IT'S AN EVEN MORE
DIFFICULT AREA TO TAKE A TATTOO.

- YES, SIR.

- ESPECIALLY ON
THE ADAM'S APPLE AREA.

I MEAN, THERE'S NO PROTECTIVE,
LIKE, MUSCLE THERE.

I MEAN, I GOT NECK ACTION, TOO,
YOU KNOW,

AND THEN I ALMOST TAPPED OUT.

- PAIN IS JUST TEMPORARY.
SO...

IF IT GETS MY POINT ACROSS,
IT'LL BE WORTH IT.

- I KNOW THAT YOU ALREADY HAVE
PLENTY OF WORK ON YOU.

- RIGHT.
- BUT, UH...

A THROAT TATTOO
IS GONNA BE ON BLAST

FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO SEE.

- THAT'S WHAT I WANT.
THAT EVERYONE KNOWS

I'M ABOUT PEACE.
THIS TATTOO'S GONNA HURT,

BUT I BEEN WANTING TO GET THIS
TATTOO FOR ABOUT A YEAR NOW,

THE SAME LENGTH OF TIME THAT
I'VE BEEN INTO BUDDHISM.

OTHER ARTISTS HAVE
OPENLY TURNED ME DOWN,

AND HIGH NOON IS LOOKING AT ME
LIKE I'M CRAZY.

BUT IF I'M CRAZY ENOUGH
TO GET IT,

I JUST HOPE HE'S CRAZY ENOUGH
TO DO IT.

- PUT WHAT EXACTLY?

- I WANT THE LAUGHING BUDDHA,
IN PARTICULAR.

- THE LAUGHING BUDDHA?
- YEAH.

- I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE GONNA
FEEL LIKE SMILING AFTER--

- YOU GOTTA GO THROUGH PAIN
TO GET TO PEACE, MAN.

THAT'S--THAT'S MY MOTTO.

- COME OVER TO MY STATION.

MY BIGGEST CONCERN
WITH THIS TATTOO

IS THAT MITCH ISN'T GOING TO
MAKE IT TO THE END OF IT.

A THROAT TATTOO HAS TO BE

ONE OF THE MOST INTENSE TATTOOS
TO TAKE.

I HAVEN'T SEEN TOO MANY PEOPLE
DO IT IN ONE SHOT.

- I'VE HAD
SO MUCH NEGATIVITY IN MY LIFE.

MY DAD PASSED AWAY
WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER.

- HOW DID YOU TAKE THAT?
- I GOT UP INTO DRUGS,

AND BY THE TIME
I WAS 16 YEARS OLD,

I WAS COMPLETELY HOOKED.

- WOW.
- I WAS GONE.

BUT I GOT OUT OF IT.
- WOW.

- THE MAJOR THING
I WOULD SAY WOULD BE,

I STARTED TALKING TO MY
COUNSELOR ABOUT IT,

AND I TRIED TO--TRIED TO GET
AWAY FROM ALL THAT NEGATIVITY

THAT WAS FEEDING MY ADDICTIONS
AND FEEDING MY BAD BEHAVIOR.

AND, YOU KNOW, I'VE RECENTLY
GOTTEN INTO BUDDHISM.

AND NOW, I WANT TO BE ABLE TO
LOOK IN THE MIRROR

AND HAVE THAT CONSTANT REMINDER

OF THE PEACE AND POSITIVITY
THAT I'M MOVING TOWARDS.

- I MEAN, THE WHOLE, YOU KNOW,
PEACE AND BEING JOVIAL

ABOUT EVERYTHING--
THAT KIND OF REFLECTS

MY OWN PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY,
YOU KNOW, SO--

HANG TIGHT.
- ALL RIGHT.

- I'LL BE BACK IN A FEW.
- WILL DO.

- ARE YOU GONNA
WORK ON THAT GUY?

- YEAH, I MEAN,
I FEEL BAD FOR THE GUY.

HE'S PRETTY DESPERATE.

- THIS CROSS MAY NOT
LOOK THAT BAD,

BUT COMPARED TO
THE SURGICAL SCAR I'M DOING,

I THINK THIS IS EVEN WORSE.

IF REESE DOESN'T
NAIL THIS THING,

THIS GUY'S GONNA LEAVE HERE
WORSE THAN HE CAME IN.

IT'S SUCH
AN IDENTIFIABLE SYMBOL.

- IT REALLY IS.

IT IS COMPLETELY SCARRED.

VERY, VERY DEEP.

IT'S 11 YEARS OLD,
AND IT LOOKS LIKE...

IT WAS DONE A WEEK AGO.

- ALL RIGHT.
HERE WE GO.

I'M ABOUT TO GO AHEAD
AND START TATTOOING

DIRECTLY ON THE ADAM'S APPLE.

HERE WE GO.

ONE FALSE MOVE,
AND THIS THING COULD BE RUINED.

- OOH.
- DON'T MOVE, BUDDY.

- OH, MAN.

- THE LAST THING YOU WANT TO DO

IS THROW HIM IN THE CHAIR
AND PUT SOMETHING ON HIM,

AND THEN TAKE--
- AND NOT WORK?

- YEAH.
- I'M REALLY SCARED.

THE BLACK IS JUST SO BLACK,

AND IT'S JUST SO SCARRED,

I'M NOT SURE IF IT'S GONNA WORK.

I'LL KIND OF USE ALL THIS
TEXTURING HERE AND HERE

TO KIND OF
BREAK UP ALL THAT LINE WORK.

SO THANK GOODNESS
SHE'S PUERTO RICAN,

BECAUSE THEN WE CAN USE
SOMETHING DARKER ON HER SKIN.

- IF ANYBODY CAN PULL THIS OFF,
I KNOW YOU CAN.

I'LL BE
RIGHT THERE FOR YOU, OKAY?

- THANKS, BOO.
- ALL RIGHT, GOOD LUCK, BABY.

- OH.
THANK YOU.

- HEY.
- KEEP YOU WAITING LONG?

- NO.
- NO?

- I'VE BEEN WAITING
FOR TEN YEARS.

- YEAH?
WAITING TEN YEARS?

'CAUSE I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY
HOPE YOU LIKE IT.

- WOW.

- WHAT DO YOU THINK?

- I LOVE IT.

- LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED,
OKAY?

- HE MADE IT MORE BEAUTIFUL
THAN I PICTURED IT.

HE KILLED IT.

- HOW DID YOU END UP WITH THIS

HALF SAWED-OFF BUTTERFLY
ON YOUR CROTCH?

- WHEN I WAS 22,
I WAS A HOT MESS...

AND I HOOKED UP WITH
WHOEVER I WANTED.

ONE TIME,
I SLEPT WITH THIS DUDE,

AND I KNOCKED HIM OUT COLD.

- WHAT?
- I PUT HIM TO SLEEP.

WHAT?

- RIGHT THEN AND THERE,
I WAS CONVINCED.

THIS THING IS LETHAL--
IT NEEDED A WARNING LABEL.

- YOU HAVE JUST TOOK THIS VAGINA
TO ANOTHER LEVEL.

- I FIGURED I SHOULD GET
A TATTOO OF A POISON BOTTLE

OVER MY VAGINA,

JUST TO LET THEM KNOW WHAT THEY
WERE GETTING INTO.

- GOD KNOWS THAT'S WHAT I WANNA
SEE WHEN I'M GETTING BUSY.

- MY BEST FRIEND WAS
A TATTOO APPRENTICE.

SHE WAS LIKE,
"LET'S GO TO MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW.

LET'S GET THIS DONE."

- UH-UH.
- THE NEXT MORNING I WOKE UP,

AND I HAD
MY PANTIES GLUED TO MY VAGINA,

BECAUSE SHE NEVER EVEN
COVERED IT WITH SARAN WRAP.

- SO, IMMEDIATELY
WE WENT TO THE BATHROOM

TO GO UNSTICK MY PANTIES
FROM MY TATTOO,

AND THEN I RAN TO MY BEST FRIEND
AND I TOLD HER,

"YOU NEED TO TAKE CARE OF THIS
RIGHT NOW."

- YOU CALLED THE SAME PERSON
THAT ALREADY SCREWED IT UP ONCE?

- SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND.

AND I MEAN,
I KNEW SHE WAS GETTING BETTER.

- WHAT?

- THANKFULLY,
SHE PUT A BLUE BUTTERFLY ON ME,

AND I WAS BACK IN THE GAME.

SHORTLY AFTER,
I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT.

NO WAY.

BY THE END OF MY PREGNANCY,

IGAINED 80 POUNDS.

I DID EVERYTHING
TO LOSE THE WEIGHT,

AND I COULDN'T.

- I DON'T GET IT.

- AND I GOT MYSELF A TRAINER.

MY TRAINER SAW ME FOR
WHO I WAS ON THE INSIDE,

AND HE ASKED ME OUT
AFTER A FEW SESSIONS.

- WHAT DO YOU SAY WE TAKE
OUR TRAINING TO THE NEXT LEVEL?

- THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD MAN
RIGHT THERE.

- RIGHT?

BUT AFTER HE LOST HIS JOB,

HE TURNED INTO
A COMPLETE MONSTER.

- BABE, COULD YOU, LIKE,
MOVE ALL THIS BELLY FAT?

I'M TRYING TO WATCH THE TV HERE.

- NO, THAT JUST MADE IT WORSE.

- YEAH, WELL, MAYBE IF
YOU WOULD HAVE SEX WITH ME,

WE WOULD BURN SOME CALORIES.

- OH, YEAH?
I HOPE YOU LIKE

WEARING A T-SHIRT DURING SEX
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

- SO I BROKE THINGS OFF.

- UH-UH!

- I WAS SO DEVASTATED
THAT THE NEXT DAY

I SCHEDULED A TUMMY TUCK,
CUTTING OFF HALF OF MY TATTOO.

- I SEE THAT.
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU GOTTA LOOK AT
THE POSITIVE SIDE OF THAT.

YOU GOT A COUPLE OF
GOOD THINGS OUT OF IT,

AND LET ME TELL YOU,
WHEN I'M DONE WITH THIS,

I AM GONNA MAKE YOU
FEEL LIKE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN,

JUST LIKE YOU WANT.

SO WE'RE GONNA
HOOK THAT UP, OKAY?

- THANK YOU.

OW.

- I REALLY CAN'T
STRESS TO YOU ENOUGH:

IF THERE'S
ANY TYPE OF DEVIATION IN IT,

IT'S GONNA BE
INSTANTLY NOTICEABLE.

- RIGHT.
I'LL COOPERATE TO THE FULLEST.

- HERE WE GO.

- OH.
YEAH, THAT'S EVEN BETTER.

HIS DRAWING INSTANTLY
MAKES ME SMILE.

I'M JUST PRAYING THAT
THIS BUDDHA

GIVES ME THE STRENGTH,
PEACE RIGHT NOW,

'CAUSE I'M STARTING TO
FREAK OUT.

- ALL RIGHT.
DO NOT MOVE RIGHT NOW.

- BUST IT OUT, MAN.
I'LL DEAL WITH THE PAIN.

- WELL, I DREW UP SOMETHING

THAT I'M HOPING
THAT YOU'LL LIKE.

ARE YOU READY TO SEE IT?

- I'M READY.

- HERE IT IS.

- OH, MY GOD.
THAT IS FREAKING AWESOME.

- I AM INCREDIBLY NERVOUS
THAT THIS WON'T WORK.

IT HAS TO BE PLACED PERFECTLY,

AND IT HAS TO BE
COLORED IN PERFECTLY,

AND IT HAS TO BE
TEXTURED PERFECTLY.

EVERYTHING HAS TO BE PERFECT
IN ORDER FOR THIS TO WORK.

HOW DID YOU END UP WITH

THIS HORRIBLE, JACKED-UP CROSS?

- MY GRANDMOTHER WAS
LIKE MY SECOND MOM.

IN 1993,
MY GRANDMA PASSED AWAY,

AND ABOUT TEN YEARS AFTER THAT,

ME AND THE FELLAS ARE HANGING
OUT, YOU KNOW, ON THE BLOCK,

TALKING, AND I'M TELLING THEM
ABOUT THE TATTOO I WANT TO GET.

I TELL 'EM I WANT TO GET
A CROSS,

YOU KNOW, TO COMMEMORATE HER,
YOU KNOW, PASSING.

AND WE'RE TALKING, AND

A '80s-TYPE GUY ROCKER DUDE

JUST COMES UP TO ME,
AND HE'S LIKE...

WHOA.

- I CAN DO THAT TATTOO FOR YOU
FOR 50 SMACKAROOS.

- I HADN'T SEEN HIM BEFORE
ON THE BLOCK, SO...

- 50 BUCKS?

- I SAID, "FINE, LET'S DO THIS,"

AND FOLLOWED THE GUY
TO HIS HOUSE.

- WHAT'D YOU DO
WHEN YOU GOT THERE?

- I WAS JUST LOOKING AROUND.

SO HE DREW IT UP
AND PUT IT ON STENCIL AND...

- WHOO!
- AND HE PUT IT ON.

- AAH!

AAH!

- HALFWAY INTO THIS TATTOO YOU
HEAR A LOUD BANGING AT THE DOOR.

AAH!

- AAH!
- AAH!

- GUYS JUST BARGE RIGHT INTO
THE HOUSE WITH BASEBALL BATS

AND JUST START DEMANDING MONEY.

- NO.

- WHEN THEY CAME IN WITH THAT,
YOU KNOW,

"YOU OWE ME MONEY.
YOU'RE A SCAM ARTIST."

THE TATTOO ARTIST GOT SO SCARED,
HE JAMMED THE NEEDLE

RIGHT INTO MY SKIN,
AND BLOOD SQUIRT EVERYWHERE.

I JUST GOT UP AND THAT'S IT--

- YOU KNOW, HE TOLD YOU
HE'S A TATTOO ARTIST, BUT...

- EXACTLY. FOR ALL I KNOW,
I COULD BE GETTING SCAMMED.

- YEAH, ABSOLUTELY, AND--

- I GOT SCAMMED.

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO HONOR
MY GRANDMOTHER,

BUT IF MY GRANDMOTHER
WAS TO SEE THIS,

SHE'LL TURN OVER HER GRAVE.

- WELL, I'M HOPING THAT WE CAN

MAKE THIS ONE WORK.

- ALL RIGHT.
THE MOMENT OF TRUTH.

I'M ABOUT TO GO AHEAD
AND START TATTOOING

DIRECTLY ON THE ADAM'S APPLE.

AND IT'S EXTREMELY IMPORTANT
FOR MITCH TO SIT STILL.

HERE WE GO.

ONE FALSE MOVE,

AND THIS THING COULD BE RUINED.

- OOH.
- DON'T MOVE, BUDDY.

- OH, MAN.

- HERE WE GO.
ONE FALSE MOVE,

AND THIS THING COULD BE RUINED.

ALL RIGHT, DON'T MOVE, BUDDY.

- I'LL DEAL WITH THE PAIN.

- ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO.

- OOH.

- MITCH IS ALL ZEN RIGHT NOW.

YOU NEED ANYTHING?
WATER OR ANYTHING?

- MM-MM.
- YOU'RE THE MAN.

I WAS WORRIED ABOUT
HIM BEING ABLE TO SIT,

BUT MITCH IS
COMPLETELY ZONED OUT.

I'M TATTOOING HIM
DEAD ON THE ADAM'S APPLE.

THE PEACE OF BUDDHA WAS WITH US
ON THIS ONE.

YOU GOT THIS, YOU GOT THIS.

- MY GIRL'S GONNA NEED
A VACATION AFTER THIS ONE, MAN.

LET ME TELL YOU WHAT.

- YOU GOT THE PRETTIEST GIRL
IN THE WORLD WORKING ON IT.

- I KNOW, RIGHT?
- HEY, SHE'S GONNA DO YOU RIGHT.

SHE'S GONNA DO YOU RIGHT.
- I WISH I COULD SEE IT.

- YOU'RE BAD.
- OH, YOU WILL.

- ALL RIGHT, MITCH.

WE ARE DONE.

- WHOO!
THIS TATTOO, IT HURT A LOT.

SO I HAD TO JUST THINK OF
PEACE AND POSITIVITY,

AND I CAN'T BELIEVE
I MADE IT THROUGH THIS PROCESS.

I HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT.

CLOSE MY EYES?

- BOOM.

- OH, MAN.

I LOVE IT, MAN.
I LOVE IT.

WHOA, THIS IS
TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, MAN.

WOW, THAT'S COLORFUL, MAN.

I LOVE IT.
- YEAH.

- WOW. I'VE BEEN CLEAN NOW
FOR ABOUT FIVE YEARS,

AND IT'S BEEN A CRAZY RIDE.

BUT NOW, THIS TATTOO
JUST GIVES ME

ONE MORE REASON TO
HOLD MY HEAD UP HIGH.

I'M SORRY, I'M SPEECHLESS.
I'M ABOUT TO START JUST

THROWING SOME WORDS OUT THE
DICTIONARY THAT MEAN AMAZING.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

- I'M VERY HAPPY WITH
THE WAY THIS TATTOO TURNED OUT.

I MANAGED TO PUT IN
A LOT OF DETAILS

IN THE FACE OF THE BUDDHA
THAT MOST PEOPLE

WOULD PROBABLY
BE SCARED OF DOING.

BUT THANKFULLY,

IT WORKED OUT FINE IN THE END.

IT'S BEEN A PLEASURE, A PLEASURE
WORKING WITH YOU, MAN.

- THE PLEASURE'S ALL MINE, MAN.

I CAN NEVER EVER THANK HIGH NOON
ENOUGH FOR THIS TATTOO.

I MEAN,
NOW WHEN I LOOK IN A MIRROR,

ALL I'M GONNA SEE IS
A LAUGHING BUDDHA.

IT'LL CONSTANTLY REMIND ME THAT

I'M ON THIS MISSION FOR
PEACE AND POSITIVITY.

I'MA ALWAYS HAVE MY HEAD UP NOW.

- APPRECIATE IT, MAN.

- OH, MY GOD.

OW!

- THIS SCAR IS SOMETHING.

- OH, MY GOD.

- TAKE A BREATHER,
TAKE A BREATHER.

- OHH.

- ALL RIGHT, MAN.

WE'RE DONE.

MIGUEL'S COVER-UP IS THE HARDEST
COVER-UP I'VE EVER ATTEMPTED.

I'VE NEVER DONE
A TATTOO THAT BAD

AND THAT CRAZY BEFORE.

BUT CLINT WAS SUCH
A GREAT SUPPORT SYSTEM TO HAVE.

HOPEFULLY MIGUEL LIKES IT.

GO AHEAD AND CHECK OUT
YOUR TATTOO.

- OH, MY... GOD.

THAT IS AWESOME.

OH!

I'M LOST FOR WORDS.

- HOW DO YOU FEEL, MAN?

- EMOTIONAL RIGHT NOW.

REESE DID AN AMAZING JOB
ON MY TATTOO.

MY FAVORITE PART OF MY TATTOO
IS THAT

SHE INCORPORATED
THE MUSIC NOTES,

THE RECORDS,
THE BONGOS.

SHE HIT IT ON THE MONEY.

OH, MY GOD, MY GRANDMOTHER'S NOT
TURNING IN HER GRAVE NO MORE.

- YEAH, IT IS GONE.

- THIS TATTOO
IS FREAKING AMAZING.

- SO IN ORDER TO MAKE
THIS COVER-UP WORK,

HER CHIN ACTUALLY HAD TO REST

ON THE VERY, VERY TOP
OF THE EXISTING CROSS.

I ALSO USED
A LOT OF TEXTURE IN THE DRESS

TO REALLY JUST CUT AWAY
THOSE DARK AND SCARRED LINES

AND MAKE IT VANISH.

ARE YOU STOKED?
- YEAH.

- YEAH, MAN!

- OH, MY GOD.

NOW I'M GONNA BE PROUD
TO TELL EVERYBODY

THIS IS A TRIBUTE
TO MY GRANDMOTHER.

- WHOO, IT'S SO GOOD
TO BE DONE WITH MIGUEL'S TATTOO.

- ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S GOING ON?

- HEY, BABE.

- HOW YOU DOING?
- I'M DOING MY BEST.

- YOU'RE AWESOME.

- OH, YEAH?

I'M GLAD
YOU THINK SO HIGHLY OF ME.

- YOU GUYS HAVE
SOMETHING GOING ON HERE, RIGHT?

- THAT'S DISGUSTING.

THAT IS SO NASTY.

- JUST ADMIT IT.
IT'S OKAY.

- NO.

WE HAVE, LIKE,
REALLY GOOD CHEMISTRY.

IT'S BECAUSE
SHE'S ATTRACTED TO ME,

AND I UNDERSTAND THAT.

IT'S A NATURAL THING.
- WHY WOULDN'T SHE BE?

- OH, YOU'RE SO RIGHT.

NO.

- THAT IS ABOUT THE RESPONSE
I WOULD EXPECT FROM A WOMAN.

- PLAYING HARD TO GET?

- WOMEN ARE CRAZY.

- I THINK EVERYONE'S
A LITTLE CRAZY.

- OF COURSE.

- I DON'T THINK IT, LIKE,
RELATES TO GENDER, EITHER.

IT'S JUST...
- NO, NO, NO, NO.

- OR IS IT JUST YOU?

- I KNOW I'M TATTOOING ON YOU,

BUT YOU'RE **** CRAZY, TOO,

BECAUSE YOU WERE LIKE,

"HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT'D BE
REALLY COOL?

JUST GO AHEAD AND TATTOO THIS
BIG, DUMB THING ON MY VAGINA."

- HEY!
- HE'S SUCH A BULLY.

- CLINT JUST BETTER HANDLE IT

AND STOP MAKING FUN OF
YOUR POOR VAGINA.

HEY.

- ALL RIGHT, BABY.
I THINK I'M FINISHED.

AND I THINK
YOU'RE READY TO BE DONE, HUH?

- YEAH. I'M DONE.
- YEAH.

- I'M REALLY NERVOUS.

I JUST WANT TO FEEL LIKE A WOMAN

AND BE CONFIDENT AGAIN.

AND THIS NEW TATTOO IS...

MY LAST HOPE.

- YOU READY?

OKAY?

- CHECK IT OUT.

MY GOD.

OH, MY GOD.

- THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.

I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT.

IT'S EVERYTHING I WANTED.

IT'S... IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

I'M ECSTATIC.

CLINT DID A GREAT JOB.

IT'S SOMETHING SIMPLE,
DELICATE, FEMININE,

AND IT'S A PERFECT SHAPE.

THAT BUTTERFLY FLEW AWAY,

AND THE FLOWERS FINALLY BLOOMED.

CAN NOT SEE ANYTHING.

THIS HAS KILLED MY SELF-ESTEEM
FOR TEN YEARS.

- AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE SEX AGAIN
WITH A SHIRT ON.

SO YOU CAN STICK IT TO HIM.

HUH?
- MM-HMM.

- IN ORDER TO
MAKE THIS COVER WORK,

I TOOK THE SCAR THAT SHE HAD
FROM HER TUMMY TUCK,

AND I HID IT IN
THE TOP HALF OF THE FLOWERS

BECAUSE I KNEW I COULD GET AWAY
WITH A LIGHTER PALETTE.

BY DESIGNING THE FLOWERS
IN THE WAY THAT I DID,

IT GAVE IT
A LITTLE BIT OF MOTION

AND ALSO COVERED
A LOT OF THE TATTOO.

- THAT IS AMAZING.

- WOW.

YOU OUTDID YOURSELF, CLINT.

- HEY, I DON'T DESERVE
ALL THE CREDIT.

SHE DESERVES SOME OF IT, TOO,
'CAUSE SHE SAT LIKE A CHAMP.

- I HAVE TO AGREE.
GIRL, YOU DID IT.

- WOW.

- CLINT IS MY HERO

BECAUSE THE WHOLE ENTIRE TATTOO

COULDN'T BE MORE PERFECT.

HE COMPLETELY EXCEEDED
MY EXPECTATIONS.

- GET YOUR SWAG BACK, BABY.

- THAT'S RIGHT.

OH, MY GOD.

YOU'RE LIKE THE VAGINA GENIE.

- OW!
QUIVER!

QUIVER!
- WALK LIKE A MAN.

- AND ON THAT NOTE,

I AM GONNA GET MYSELF
AND GOING HOME.

WITHOUT YOU.

- I'VE HAD ENOUGH VAGINA
FOR ONE DAY.