Tall Tales & Legends (1985–1988): Season 1, Episode 8 - Davy Crockett - full transcript
[animals howling]
[soft music]
- When I was a kid
growing up in Texas,
cowboys weren't only
on the screen.
I was surrounded by...
Why, my grandfather
was a cowboy.
And shoot, I even had
a cowgirl outfit of my own.
Kind of like this one.
I also had my favourite
cowboy story.
And this is it.
Pecos Bill, king of the cowboys.
Yeehaw! Hmm...
[lively music]
[indistinct chatter]
- Here's a couple of spots
we got our names on.
[cutlery clattering]
- Howdy, gents.
What can I get for y'all?
- Well, we need food
and directions to Abilene.
- Grandpa's taking me
to a rodeo.
- Is that right?
- Devon here lives in Vermont.
I'm gonna show him
a little piece of Texas.
- Well, in that case,
I'd take the scenic route.
Just take a right
out front here.
Straight as a crow flies.
Then, you hang a left
on Tombstone Road.
But you take it slow,
because there's potholes so deep
you can hear
the singing in China.
Keep your eyes open.
Some folks claim they've seen
snakes long as a firehose.
And prairie dogs bigger
than a grizzly.
- Thank you.
- I'll be back in a second,
get your order.
- Grandpa, is that true?
- Well, if he said
he'd be right back,
I'm sure he will.
- No, I mean all that stuff
about the snakes
and the grizzlies
and the potholes?
- Not exactly.
Us Texans do have a habit
of exaggerating a little bit.
- Why?
- You could say it's tradition.
And it's one of the things
that makes Texans
so god-darn special.
And they owe it all to a man
by the name of Pecos Bill
who was known throughout Texas
as the king of the cowboys.
You see, Texas used to be
downright boring.
The only town
in the frontier then
was quiet little
Petunia City.
And quiet was just the way
Governor Ambrose Peasley
liked it.
- Citizens of Texas...
[bell ringing]
Let the games begin!
[Grandpa]: In fact,
the rowdiest event of the year
was the annual checkers rodeo.
The governor, a widower,
wanted to keep Texas
a nice, quiet place to raise
his three daughters.
Pansy.
- Go, Red!
[Grandpa]: Posy.
- Go, Black!
[Grandpa]: And Rose,
who found this lifestyle
as dull as a long-winded
preaching.
[chewing-gum exploding]
- Daddy, Rose snuck gum
in here again.
- Alright, let's have it,
young lady.
[sighing]
And sit up straight!
And try and pay attention.
- I hate checkers.
- Why, it's the finest game
in Texas
and don't you forget it!
And these two fellas play it
with reckless abandon.
- Daddy! Look!
It happened again.
[Grandpa]: The unfortunate
contestant had succumbed
to the only cause of death
in Petunia City: boredom.
- I'll take care of everything
as usual, governor.
No raucous eulogy, no...
- I appreciate that, reverend.
- Anything.
- Thank you, reverend.
We all thank you, reverend.
And congratulations, Bob.
Boy, this makes
six years in a row.
[Grandpa]: On his way back
to his farm,
checkers champion Bob Watkins
stopped for a drink
at the Pecos River.
Little did he know
that this moment
would change the face
of Texas forever.
[breathing rapidly]
[howling]
Bob almost died of fright,
which would've been a first
for Petunia City.
He turned to see
the mangiest varmint
he had ever laid eyes on.
- Who are you?
- I'm a coyote.
I'm looking for dinner.
- You ain't no coyote.
- Am too a coyote.
[breathing rapidly]
I got flees.
And I howl at the moon.
- I know plenty of people
who do that.
Wait a minute...
If... if you're a coyote,
you'd have a tail.
- I got a tail.
[laughing]
- Oh, yeah?
Oh, where?
- Back here.
[moaning]
[Grandpa]: The creature
had never really looked before.
[panting rapidly]
- Well, maybe it got
chewed off by something.
[Grandpa]: When he was a baby
and his family was moving west,
he'd fallen out
of a covered wagon.
The coyotes found him
and raised him,
so he never knew
he was human
till Bob straightened him out.
[animal screaming
in the distance]
[sighing]
[sighing]
- So I'm a man, huh?
[scoffing]
That's the darndest thing!
You'd think someone
would've told me.
- Well, would you like
to meet some other men?
- There's others?
- Sure.
Of course, you need
a couple things first.
Uh... Like, a name.
You know, something that
somebody can call you.
- Hmm.
- Bill.
You like "Bill"?
- Bill?
Howdy, Bill.
Nice to meet you, Bill.
[laughing]
But it needs something else.
Hey, what's this here
river called?
- Pecos River.
- Then I'll be Pecos Bill.
Now what else do I need?
- Well, you're gonna need
some clothes.
And a hat for drinking out of.
- Oh! Well...
It better be able
to hold ten gallons
because I got a mighty
powerful thirst.
[chuckling]
[soft music]
- Boys, there's somebody here
I'd like you to meet.
This here is Pecos Bill.
- Howdy, boys!
- Well, these are my hands.
Tom, Don and Juan.
- Howdy, Juan!
[chuckling]
Howdy, Don!
Well, howdy, Tom!
It's nice to meet you men.
I'm a man too, you know?
[laughing]
- Where'd he get them
ridiculous clothes?
- He picked them out himself.
[mooing]
[Grandpa]: The next day,
Bob and his hands
took Pecos Bill out to show him
how they made their living
as cow farmers.
- Exactly how long do you
usually wait like this?
- As long as it takes for that
cow to step into the snare.
[mooing]
- Sometimes, we wait
for a couple of days.
- It's worth the wait
when you bag one.
[horse neighing]
[stomping approaching]
- Ah, heck!
That's that darn wild horse.
He's gonna scare away our cow.
[horse neighing]
- Yahoo! By God, that is
one fine-looking animal.
[speaking in Spanish]
- That's the fourth time
he's done that this week.
- We might as well
just pack it in.
- You mind if I make
a suggestion?
If you can't get the cow
to the rope,
why don't you just bring
the rope to the cow?
- Well, I appreciate
that suggestion, Bill.
But we've been doing it
this way for years.
[chuckling]
- Well, can I try something?
I learned this catching panthers
with rattlesnakes.
Ya! Ha!
[mooing]
- Well, if that don't be...
- Yes.
- Bill...
- Hey, Bill!
[Grandpa]: From that day on,
they looked to Pecos Bill
to teach them how to be cowboys
- Yeah! That's it, boys!
Keep the slipknots loose
and remember:
it's all in the wrist.
- We're mighty grateful
for all them 46 cows today.
- But you know, Bill,
a lot of folks in these parts,
they're going to be mighty
jealous we got all these cows.
What if they come
and try to steal them?
- Well, we'll have to mark them
so we know they're ours.
- I know. We can put
a ribbon on their tails.
- Or a collar around their necks
with a name tag.
- I got a better idea.
Start a fire.
- Oh, I get it.
We'll cook them
and we'll eat them before
anybody can steal them.
[Grandpa]: Bill could see
it was up to him
to do the thinking.
So he invented the cattle brand
and lots of other things.
- You see, I call this "chili"
because it's anything but.
And I left out some
of the strong stuff
because you gotta work up to it.
- How do you know when
it's done, Bill?
[chuckling]
- Come here, give her a try.
[whistling]
[screaming]
Needs more red pepper.
You shouldn't be able
to land on your feet that way.
[Grandpa]: Meanwhile,
in Petunia City,
Governor Peasley
had his hands full
with his free-spirited
youngest daughter, Rose.
- Rose, I don't understand
your behaviour.
And you know I don't allow
whittling in my office.
And get your feet off my desk!
Honestly, young lady,
where do you get the temerity!
- She probably steals it.
[chuckling]
- Rose, reliable sources
have told me
that you were out running
and climbing trees this morning.
Is that any way for a young lady
to behave?
- Bad salamander!
[screaming]
- Get the...
- Rose!
Rose, put that disgusting
thing away.
- Oh, he's just a harmless
critter, consarn it.
- "Consarn it"?
Well, the language we use,
little miss!
You've got the mouth
of an old prospector.
- You always say
I have my mother's mouth.
- And she would be rolling over
in her grave if she saw you now.
You're wearing pants!
You're getting dirty!
Let's not forget that
this is Texas!
[together]: The tidy state.
- Oh, Daddy...
- What?
- Rose missed her waltzing
lesson again.
- Oh, Daddy!
- What?
- Rose let her terrarium die.
- Rose...
How are you ever going
to catch a man
if you don't start
acting like a lady?
[rhythmic music]
[Grandpa]: Back at the ranch,
Bill was finding more ways
to give the cowboys a special
sense of pride in who they were
- Okay.
Bob, that makes you Laredo.
And Don, you're Galveston.
Tom, you're Amarillo.
And Juan, you're El Dorado.
Yeehaw!
- I'm gonna put my name
on the back of my belt.
[chuckling]
[rumbling]
[horse neighing
and galloping away]
- Consarn it, it's that
wild horse again.
- Shoot! He's gonna rile up
the cattle
and make them stampede.
- Well, it's time
we tamed this critter.
I could use a good
riding horse, anyway.
And this one looks
just my style.
[Grandpa]: What followed
was a battle so fierce
it lasted three days.
[Bill]: You stubborn pile
of horse feed!
[horse neighing]
[Grandpa]: The men feared
neither horse nor man
would survive.
[Bill laughing]
- He'll never make it.
[horse neighing]
[Bill]: Yeeha!
Go ahead and buck!
I ain't even worked up
a sweat yet.
[horse neighing]
- He'll never make it.
[Bill]: Whoa! You can kick
all you want...
[horse neighing]
I ain't letting go.
[yawning]
- He'll never make it.
[Grandpa]: Just about the time
the boys had given up hope,
Bill rode up on the grandest
horse the men had ever seen.
- Howdy, boys.
When's breakfast?
[chuckling]
- Well, if that don't be...
- I warn you men
not to ride this horse.
He's a widow maker.
Hey, in fact, I think
that's what I'll call him.
You like that, Widow-Maker?
[horn blaring]
[indistinct chatter]
- Oh, Posy, look. Sweet peas!
[laughing]
- I love sweet peas.
- Oh!
[animal chirping]
- Oh, Rose...
If you don't pick any flowers,
what are you gonna do
when it's your turn
to make the centre plate?
[animal shrieking]
- I'll use my cactus again.
- Oh, Rose...
A cactus isn't a flower.
- I know a cactus
isn't a flower.
But it takes care of itself
and it don't wilt
and die neither.
[together]: Oh, gross!
- Girls, let me ask
you something.
Don't you ever want
for something more exciting
than picking flowers
or crocheting doilies,
or having tea?
[both]: No. Why?
[sighing]
- Sometimes, I feel so
cooped up and restless
like there's something
out there I'm missing.
- Well, maybe
you should keep a diary.
- Or talk to the minister.
- Forget it.
[rumbling]
- Oh, Pansy!
It's an earthquake!
We'll be killed in our flowers.
We'll be crushed.
[horse neighing]
[Bill]: Yeehaw!
[exclaiming]
- I'll never come out
here again.
- Wow!
To think there's a male
like that in Texas!
Yeehaw!
[rhythmic music]
[moaning]
[Grandpa]: That night, Pecos
served up some more chili,
and another lesson
on being a cowboy.
[moaning]
- Anybody want more chili?
[all]: No.
- I just got my eyesight
back from the last bowl.
- Alright, I'll put
the lid back on.
It's even better the second day.
[moaning]
Oh, I know what you boys need.
It's a trick I learned
from the coyotes
to help aid digestion.
You see, whenever we had too
many prairie dogs
or come across a mealy piece
of skunk meat,
we just howl at the moon
till things settle.
- We'll try anything.
- Let's try howling.
Okay? Howl.
[howling]
[howling continues]
Hold it, hold it!
Boys, boys, boys! Hold it!
I forgot...
You haven't had the advantage
of a coyote upbringing.
Excuse me.
Now I don't mean to offend
you gentlemen,
but you just don't have
the instinct for howling.
So, I figured out
a way to organize it all
so it sounds a little better.
On three.
One, two, three.
♪ Give me a home
♪ Where the buffalo roam
♪ And the deer
and the antelope play ♪
♪ Where seldom is heard
♪ A discouraging word
♪ And the skies
are not cloudy all day ♪
♪ Home
♪ Home on the range
♪ Where the deer
and the antelope play ♪
♪ Where seldom is heard
♪ A discouraging word...
[Grandpa]: Yes, Pecos Bill
had penned
the first Texas trail song,
and taught the cowboys
how to sing it.
It worked to settle
the boys' stomachs,
but it set someone else's
jumping.
Rose was sure she'd never heard
anything so beautiful
in all her life.
[soft singing]
The next day, Bill and the boys
started another Texas tradition
They rode into town.
It was the first time anyone
in Petunia City
had ever seen a cowboy.
[indistinct chatter]
- What are they all staring at?
- I don't know. Probably me.
I'm a six-time checker champion.
- Oh, right, right...
Howdy, folks!
We're just here for some chow
and maybe to do some singing.
[classical music]
- Bob?
What has happened to you?
- I've become a cowboy.
- Is that good?
- Good?
It's better than a triple jump
on a checkerboard.
We're the wave of the future.
You watch and see.
Cowboys are gonna change
the whole face of Texas.
- I see. Uh... Shouldn't that
be in your pocket, though?
- No. Closer to your nose,
this way.
[He blows his nose.]
[chuckling]
- Oh, my!
- Well, gentlemen, we have
several luncheon specials.
All of our food
is prepared locally.
- Oh!
- And our fresh
catch of the day is coyote.
[growling]
[screaming]
[gunfire]
- Reliable sources tell me that
you dragged yourself in here
at three o'clock in the morning.
What exactly were you doing?
Rose.
- Looking for morning glories.
- Don't get smart with me,
young lady. And park your gum.
- Daddy,
I was listening to the
prettiest music I ever heard.
- Oh, I knew it.
She's hanging out
with musicians.
- I fell asleep and when
I woke up I came straight home.
I'm sorry, Daddy. I promise you
it will never happen again.
- Well, you're darn right
it won't.
Rose, I've had to make
a very difficult decision.
I realize that
I cannot handle you.
I'm sorry, but I'm sending
you back east
to live with your Aunt Cornelia.
- Oh, no, pa, please!
She hasn't left that darned dank
house in 30 years!
- Your aunt is a fine,
God-fearing woman.
She will treat you well
and raise you right.
And you'll be on the next stage.
- No!
[both]: Daddy, Daddy!
Come quick!
There's a bunch of men
in big, goofy hats
tearing up the Rusty Tulip!
[together]: What?!
[both]: Daddy, Daddy!
Come quick!
There's a bunch of men
in big, goofy hats
tearing up the Rusty Tulip!
- Big hats!
- Well, I'll put a stop to this.
[rhythmic music]
[indistinct chatter]
[enthusiastic cries]
[glass breaking]
- Try it again, you missed!
[screaming]
[piano notes playing]
- Hey, wait a minute!
Friends shake!
Oh, you're a woman!
Come up here.
Hey!
[laughing]
[rhythmic piano music]
- Aha! Alright, who's next?
Oh, didn't you already
go before?
- Only once.
- Oh, alright.
[screaming]
- Uh, afternoon, governor.
- Just what is going on here?
And who is responsible
for this despicable mess?
- I am, sir.
And I'd be happy to pay
for all the damages,
if you just take coyote
off the menu.
- I like coyote.
[growling]
- Oh, Bill, Bill.
Not here and not now.
This is Governor Peasley.
- That's right!
And as long as I am Governor
of Texas,
this kind of behaviour
will not be tolerated!
That goes for everybody.
[all]: Aw!
- Now you, big boy,
get your rowdy bunch out of town
and make sure you never
come back again!
- Let's go, boys.
This ain't no place
for real cowboys.
[cries of surprise]
- Daddy, you're making
a big mistake.
- Don't you have
some packing to do?
And I want this place cleaned up
and made ready
for the dinner crowd.
[Grandpa]: Bill was plenty
steamed
about his run-in
with the governor.
So he and his men turned
to outlawing for a while.
And they never meant any harm.
They was just having fun.
As luck would have it,
Bill and his men
held up the very stage
that was taking Rose back east.
[rhythmic music]
[gunshots]
[Bill]: Hold it right there.
[wheels screeching]
[horse neighing]
- Wow.
[Bill]: Alright, everybody out!
[chuckling]
This is a stickup.
Now, there's nothing
to be afraid of, folks.
Don't worry, we're just on
a little scavenger hunt here.
Okay. Now, we need a thimble.
We need a matchbox,
and an uncirculated
1815 bubble head nickel.
[horse neighs]
- This guy's got the nickel,
Bill!
[laughs]
And here's the matchbox!
[cheers]
Come on, lady! I know you got
a thimble in there!
Every woman carries a thimble
in her purse!
- Not this one!
[Grandpa]: With that one
mighty blow,
Rose had stolen Bill's heart.
- Howdy, ma'am.
[heart thumping]
- Hi!
[soft music]
- See you, boys.
[wolf howling]
- That girl looks mighty
familiar.
- Bill, these last three days
with you
have been the best
three days of my life.
I never knew life in Texas
could be so exciting.
- Well, you only get one go
around this big tumbleweed.
If you can't live it
as a coyote,
you might as well
live it as a cowboy.
- Oh, yeah.
- No matter what that weasel
of a governor says.
What's his name?
- Oh... Peasley...
- You know him?
- Oh, I've seen him.
- Well then, enough said.
Say, where are my manners?
I've been calling you
my pretty little coyote,
and I never even asked
your real name.
- Oh, well...
It's... kind of a tricky name.
It's... Sue!
- Just plain Sue?
- No, that would be dull,
wouldn't it?
Slew Foot Sue!
I was named after an aunt.
[sigh]
- Slew Foot Sue.
I like that.
- I'm glad, 'cause I like you.
- And I like you.
[gun shots]
- Oh, my...
It is warm today.
I think I'll go
for a little swim.
- Mm-hmm.
- You want...
You want to join me?
- Oh no thanks,
I think I'll just
let this barbed wire pie sail.
[Grandpa]: Bill was mighty swee
on Slew Foot Sue already,
but then, he saw something that
locked her in his heart forever
There in the middle
of the Pecos River sat Sue,
astride the biggest,
wildest catfish ever!
She was having
a whale of a good time!
- Attagirl, Sue!
[Grandpa]: Meanwhile,
in Petunia City,
Pecos Bill's visit had left
its mark on the townspeople.
They had admired Bill's guts
and did everything to copy
his two-fisted style.
This riled Governor Peasley
to no end.
- People! People!
People, please try
and act like people!
[both]: Shut up!
- Thank you, angels.
Citizens of Petunia City,
we are faced
with a grave threat
to the integrity
of our great state of Texas.
One man seeks to undermine
the very fibre
of our peaceful existence.
This man!
Pecos Bill!
[cheers]
People!
This desperado has kidnapped
my daughter!
And encouraged
an insidious disregard
for manners in our community.
I want him caught,
dead or alive.
[murmurs of disappointment]
Good day.
- We designed these posters
ourselves.
We thought that the simple word
"wanted" above the picture
was a succinct way
of stating our message.
- Hang these
in your businesses and homes
as a constant reminder
of the threat among us.
[Grandpa]:
And so, one could say
Pecos Bill inspired the first
"Wanted" poster in Texas.
Governor Peasley wanted to
remove any memory of Pecos Bill
He enacted new laws against
wearing cowboy clothes
and behaving like a rowdy.
There'd be no card playing,
no calf roping,
no singing,
no hollering,
no wearing of leather.
He even went so far
as to outlaw rope!
Unfortunately, when Peasley
got rid of the last traces
of Bill's influence,
it took all the life
out of Petunia City.
- Here's a toast to the most
wanted man in Texas.
- Ha!
- Pecos Bill and his new bride,
Slew Foot Sue.
[all]: To Slew Foot Sue!
[laughing]
- Ah shucks, fellas!
- I swear I know that girl
from somewhere.
- Darling, I'd like
to give you a present
I threw together myself.
- Uh oh! Another canteen cover.
[laughing]
- No, darling! It's better!
It's a song I wrote
especially for you.
Boys...
- Oh yeah...
[harmonica note playing]
[They harmonize.]
♪ She's the sweetest
little flower ♪
♪ I ever, ever knew
♪ Her eyes are bright
as diamonds ♪
♪ They sparkle like the dew
♪ You may talk about your Daisy,
May and sing of Rosalie ♪
♪ But the Slew Foot Sue
of Texas ♪
♪ Is the only gal for me
[cheers]
[laughing]
- Bill, that's so pretty!
- Oh, darling!
- You know, there's only
one more thing
that would make this day
perfect for me!
- Oh, you name it, honey!
I'd give you the world,
if I could!
- I'd like to ride Widow-Maker.
- No!
No, that's entirely
out of the question.
This horse is too ornery!
- I can handle him!
You saw me ride that catfish!
- A cat? That's an entirely
different critter,
entirely different temperament.
- Well, Bill!
- No, and I'm not
changing my mind!
Darling, let's not be
scraping like polecats
on our wedding day.
- Hey, Bill!
How about a piece
of gunpowder cake?
- Don't mind if I do!
Now, darling...
You look real pretty.
[Grandpa]: Sue had thought Bill
was just being overprotective.
She soon found out
that horse wouldn't stand
for anyone but Bill.
[whimsical music]
- Giddy up!
[air horn]
[horse neighs]
- Darn it!
I told that girl
not to ride that horse!
[horse neighs]
[Grandpa]: And with one big,
mighty buck,
he sent Sue flying in the air.
And when she came down,
that big hooped skirt of hers
just sent her
right back up again.
[Sue screams.]
This went on for several days.
[Sue screams.]
- Bill, don't you think
you ought to do something
to get Sue down?
[echoing]: Help!
Bill!
- Are you gonna make your bet or
what?
[Sue screams.]
- Now, she's getting altitude
every bounce.
- I'll call you
and raise you five.
[Sue, echoing]: Help!
- Bill, come on. Be sensible.
She can't go on like that
forever.
[crying out]
- Consarn it!
I told that woman
not to mess with Widow-Maker,
now she'll have
to learn her lesson!
What do you got?
- Four Kings.
- That beats me.
- Oh, shoot!
Ain't won a hand yet!
[Sue screams.]
- Well, think about it.
Where are you ever
gonna meet another gal
like Slew Foot Sue?
- Oh, alright.
Somebody get me
seven miles of rope.
[Grandpa]: By the time
Bill and the boys
had gathered enough rope,
Sue was bouncing eye to eye
with the man in the moon.
- Howdy.
[laughs]
- Hold on, honey!
[Grandpa]: It took a might heav
of that lariat
for Pecos Bill
to lasso his bride.
But Bill brought Sue
back to earth
before she had to set up
housekeeping in the Milky Way.
- That does it. Last time
I'm ever wearing a dress.
- Well, then maybe next time,
you'll believe me.
When I tell you to stay off
that horse, darling,
it's for your own good.
- Bill, we got bigger troubles.
On my last trip up, I spied
a thousand men on horseback
headed this way,
and they look mighty mean!
[sombre music]
- My God...
You're right, and they're
about a mile off...
[sniffing]
And they're packing
extra gunpowder.
- Oh, my! They want to kill you!
- What an honour!
The first posse,
and they're after me!
[laughs]
- Oh, Bill.
What are you gonna do?
- Well, if it wasn't
our honeymoon,
I'd stay and fight them.
But we got prior plans.
Widow-Maker!
[whistling]
Come on, girl.
[Grandpa]:
It was the first time,
but certainly not the last,
that a man
running from the law
would hightail it
across the Mexican border.
And just to make sure
that posse wouldn't follow him,
Pecos Bill dug the Rio Grande,
which still divides Texas
and Mexico today.
[tires screeching]
[wolf howl]
- Olé! Olé!
[He continues howling.]
Bill! Bill!
- Oh! I'm sorry, darling.
Gracias, Julio!
[laughs]
Honey, you haven't even touched
your fried tarantulas yet!
- Yeah, well...
I guess I'm not hungry, Bill.
- Hmm...
- I miss Texas.
- Consarn it, darling!
We've been through this before:
I miss Texas more than anybody!
The smell of mesquite,
the music of a coyote choir,
the sight of sagebrush blooming
in the spring.
- Oh...
- ...one of those
dewy-eyed dogies.
[sigh]
But darling, we can't go back.
That governor Peasley,
he'd throw me in jail!
Or worse.
- Well, maybe
if I talked to him,
he'd see that you weren't
such a bad guy
and he'd let us come back!
[laughs]
- Darling,
that's real sweet of you,
but why would he
listen to you?
[chicken clucking]
- On account of...
I'm his daughter.
[dramatic music]
- Consarn it!
[laughs]
[Grandpa]: Well,
things in Petunia City
were downright awful.
The town had lost its spirit.
Even the rain gave up.
- I had such plans for Texas.
I really wanted
to make an imprint here.
I wanted people
to remember these as...
...as the Peasley years.
The golden age of Texas.
They're gonna remember, alright.
They're gonna blame me
as the man who let Texas
just dry up and blow away!
But it's not my fault, Clarisse!
You must believe me!
I am the victim
of vile circumstances!
- Dad!
- What, Rose?
Rose? Rose! You're back!
Oh, it's a sign, it must be!
- Daddy, you look tired.
- Well, you know, a governor's
work is never done, honey.
I was just telling your mother
here all about that.
She was always
such a wonderful listener.
- Daddy, I barely recognized
Petunia City.
There's hardly a soul around!
- Well, it's quiet!
- It's dead!
- Well, dead is quiet!
- Daddy, I can only stay
on one condition.
- That you can keep
your salamander.
Which is fine with me,
as long as it stays in a cage.
- You gotta let Pecos Bill
come back.
- That's impossible.
The man is an outlaw,
he's a renegade
and he's a thief!
- He's not!
- He is too!
He cleaned a stage coach
out of a matchbox and a nickel!
- He did it for fun!
Bill is the spirit
of Texas, Daddy!
Sure, he may get a little
rough and rowdy sometimes,
but we got room for that here.
We got room for people
to grab life by the horns,
get down in the dirt
and wrestle with it.
- You are shouting Rose!
- Why not?
This ain't Connecticut!
- How can you defend
a man that kidnapped you?
- He never kidnapped me.
He married me.
- What?
- We got hitched.
- Oh, this would kill
your mother.
If she weren't already gone.
- I love him very much, Daddy.
And you would too if you'd only
give him a chance!
- He already had a chance
and look what happened!
He ruined a perfectly good
restaurant!
Pecos Bill will never be
welcomed in Texas.
- The sorriest thing
is how everything's dying.
Cactus are drooping.
Cattle are moping.
Coyotes, they ain't even
howling anymore.
- Sue...
This peeves me deeply.
Here I am,
fretting about my own hide
when the State I love
has been going to ruin.
- I went by Bob's ranch.
- Old Bob?
- They've gone back
to roping cows the old way.
Except it doesn't matter,
not enough water
for more than a couple of cows,
anyway.
- That's it.
It's time to put a stop
to all of this.
- What are you gonna do?
End the drought yourself?
- Yup! I'll drain
the Gulf of Mexico,
if need be.
I'll take...
Of course, that might rile up
my amigos down here.
Or! I could reroute
the Mississippi!
Right through the middle
of Petunia City!
Or... I could find me a cyclone,
ride her into Texas
and make me a big,
beautiful rainstorm.
- Oh, Bill,
you're such a dreamer.
[Grandpa]: She had forgotten
that when Bill
set his mind to something,
there was no stopping him.
He travelled all over the West
looking for just
the right twister.
And when he found her,
blowin' and cussin' up yonder,
he set about to rope
and ride it back to Texas.
[laughs]
Meanwhile, Petunia City
was well on its way
to becoming the world
first's ghost town.
- Oh, come on, folks!
Reconsider!
You're gonna miss
the Flower Fair!
Reverend! Won't you change
your mind and stay?
- Nope.
I've accepted a position in
an area with a brighter future.
We're off to Death Valley.
- Good riddance to bad rubbish.
- Posy, please!
Maybe these people are right.
We may as well pack it up too.
- No, Daddy, wait!
- Rose!
[footsteps approaching]
- Oof, what is she riding?
- Waiter, see my catfish
gets some water, quick.
- Unh, we ain't got any.
- No problem.
It's gonna rain soon anyhow.
- Then, can I keep this?
- Sure.
A souvenir of the day
Pecos Bill saved Texas.
- What are you talking about,
Rose?
- That!
[Pecos Bill]: Yahoo!
[cheers]
Come on, you old blowhard!
Give up!
I ain't letting go
till you start raining!
[thunder crashing]
- I don't believe my eyes!
[lively music]
- Yahoo! Attaboy, Bill!
- Rain! Blessed rain,
my career is saved!
- It's a miracle!
I know God works
in mysterious ways,
but this is new!
[joyfully screaming]
- Did you hear that?
I just "Yahou'ed", dang it!
- Oh, Daddy!
- And I'm starting
to talk funny, too.
This feels good!
[both]: Yahoo!
- Daddy, please have
a little decorum!
- Oh, put a cork in it, Pansy!
I'm having fun!
Look, a puddle!
[crying out]
[lively music]
- This is the worst day
of my life!
[crying]
[Grandpa]: Sure as little boys
hate grandma's kisses,
Pecos Bill had brought life
back to Petunia City.
[They sing joyfully.]
One by one, the people returned
The grateful governor
was happier than a pig in mud.
He even lifted his ban
on wearing cowboy hats.
- Hey, everybody! He's here!
It's Pecos Bill!
[cheering]
- Hip hip!
[all]: Hurray!
- Hip hip!
[all]: Hurray
- Hip hip!
[all]: Hurray!
- Thank you kindly!
Now put me down, boys!
I'm mad saddle-sore.
[laughs]
- Mister Bill?
- Call me Pecos.
- I appreciate that, Pecos.
I have to admit,
I was wrong about you.
I think when all of us here
were ready to give up on Texas,
you were the one that came in
and showed us how to...
[inaudible whispers]
Right...
Grab life by the horns
and get down in the dirt,
and wrestle with it!
- That's it!
[laughing]
- I myself played
in a puddle today.
- Way to go!
- What about this?
Is Bill still gonna
be a wanted man?
- You bet! I want him taken
to the jail immediately!
[murmurs of protest]
And sworn in as the new sheriff
of this town,
which I hereby rename
Pecos, Texas!
[cheering]
Now hold on. That is,
if you and Rose
would consider
settling down here.
- Well now, I'm sure this Rose
is a fine woman, sir,
but I'm already married
to Slew Foot Sue!
- Slew Foot Sue?
- I'll explain later, Daddy.
- That's who that is!
She's the governor's daughter!
I knew I knew that face!
Didn't I say I knew I knew her?
- What do you say, Pecos?
It'd be a great place
to raise our kids.
- Why not? It's already got
my name on it.
[laughs]
- Alright!
- Move over, Beethoven!
♪ She's the sweetest
little flower ♪
♪ I ever, ever knew
♪ Her eyes are bright
as diamonds ♪
♪ They sparkle like the dew
[Grandpa]: Soon after,
the Governor got Bill
to change the name of the song
to "The Yellow Rose of Texas",
after Rose's given name.
And Texans still sing it
to this very day!
[cheering]
- Now then! We're gonna have
to legalize spitting,
social cussin' and card playing.
- Well, consarn it!
I got me a fresh deck
right here!
[cheering]
- And shouting aloud,
except for Sunday morning.
- No problem there.
- Alright.
Now then, sir, we're gonna have
to drive cattle
down Main street
from time to time.
- Are you even thinking
during church?
- No!
- Alright, then!
[laughs]
[Grandpa]: Of course,
the new Texas lifestyle
wasn't for everybody.
- But where will we go?
- We'll take the midnight stage
to San Francisco
and open that shop
we always wanted.
- But Pansy,
there's earthquakes there!
- Shut up!
[lively music]
[cheers]
[Grandpa]: The celebrating
went on into the night.
The cowboys shot
so many bullets in the air,
they knocked out
all of the stars in the sky.
Except one.
And that's why they call it
"The Lone Star State"
[cheers]
[laughs]
So you see, Kevin,
Texas wouldn't what it is today
if it wasn't for Pecos Bill.
- But I still don't understand
why Texans exaggerate so much.
- Well, it's really very simple.
You see, people admired
Pecos Bill so much,
that them that couldn't do
what he could,
they figured to make up
for it by talking big.
The habit just kinda stuck.
- Can I get you two buckaroos
some dessert?
- Sure! What you got?
- Well, we got deep-dished
cherry pie!
So deep, you need a shovel
to get to the bottom of it.
And hot-fudge sundae so high,
you can ski down it.
And apple cobbler so fresh,
it was baked right on the tree.
[laughs]
[Pecos Bill]: Yahou!
Subtitling: difuze
[soft music]
- When I was a kid
growing up in Texas,
cowboys weren't only
on the screen.
I was surrounded by...
Why, my grandfather
was a cowboy.
And shoot, I even had
a cowgirl outfit of my own.
Kind of like this one.
I also had my favourite
cowboy story.
And this is it.
Pecos Bill, king of the cowboys.
Yeehaw! Hmm...
[lively music]
[indistinct chatter]
- Here's a couple of spots
we got our names on.
[cutlery clattering]
- Howdy, gents.
What can I get for y'all?
- Well, we need food
and directions to Abilene.
- Grandpa's taking me
to a rodeo.
- Is that right?
- Devon here lives in Vermont.
I'm gonna show him
a little piece of Texas.
- Well, in that case,
I'd take the scenic route.
Just take a right
out front here.
Straight as a crow flies.
Then, you hang a left
on Tombstone Road.
But you take it slow,
because there's potholes so deep
you can hear
the singing in China.
Keep your eyes open.
Some folks claim they've seen
snakes long as a firehose.
And prairie dogs bigger
than a grizzly.
- Thank you.
- I'll be back in a second,
get your order.
- Grandpa, is that true?
- Well, if he said
he'd be right back,
I'm sure he will.
- No, I mean all that stuff
about the snakes
and the grizzlies
and the potholes?
- Not exactly.
Us Texans do have a habit
of exaggerating a little bit.
- Why?
- You could say it's tradition.
And it's one of the things
that makes Texans
so god-darn special.
And they owe it all to a man
by the name of Pecos Bill
who was known throughout Texas
as the king of the cowboys.
You see, Texas used to be
downright boring.
The only town
in the frontier then
was quiet little
Petunia City.
And quiet was just the way
Governor Ambrose Peasley
liked it.
- Citizens of Texas...
[bell ringing]
Let the games begin!
[Grandpa]: In fact,
the rowdiest event of the year
was the annual checkers rodeo.
The governor, a widower,
wanted to keep Texas
a nice, quiet place to raise
his three daughters.
Pansy.
- Go, Red!
[Grandpa]: Posy.
- Go, Black!
[Grandpa]: And Rose,
who found this lifestyle
as dull as a long-winded
preaching.
[chewing-gum exploding]
- Daddy, Rose snuck gum
in here again.
- Alright, let's have it,
young lady.
[sighing]
And sit up straight!
And try and pay attention.
- I hate checkers.
- Why, it's the finest game
in Texas
and don't you forget it!
And these two fellas play it
with reckless abandon.
- Daddy! Look!
It happened again.
[Grandpa]: The unfortunate
contestant had succumbed
to the only cause of death
in Petunia City: boredom.
- I'll take care of everything
as usual, governor.
No raucous eulogy, no...
- I appreciate that, reverend.
- Anything.
- Thank you, reverend.
We all thank you, reverend.
And congratulations, Bob.
Boy, this makes
six years in a row.
[Grandpa]: On his way back
to his farm,
checkers champion Bob Watkins
stopped for a drink
at the Pecos River.
Little did he know
that this moment
would change the face
of Texas forever.
[breathing rapidly]
[howling]
Bob almost died of fright,
which would've been a first
for Petunia City.
He turned to see
the mangiest varmint
he had ever laid eyes on.
- Who are you?
- I'm a coyote.
I'm looking for dinner.
- You ain't no coyote.
- Am too a coyote.
[breathing rapidly]
I got flees.
And I howl at the moon.
- I know plenty of people
who do that.
Wait a minute...
If... if you're a coyote,
you'd have a tail.
- I got a tail.
[laughing]
- Oh, yeah?
Oh, where?
- Back here.
[moaning]
[Grandpa]: The creature
had never really looked before.
[panting rapidly]
- Well, maybe it got
chewed off by something.
[Grandpa]: When he was a baby
and his family was moving west,
he'd fallen out
of a covered wagon.
The coyotes found him
and raised him,
so he never knew
he was human
till Bob straightened him out.
[animal screaming
in the distance]
[sighing]
[sighing]
- So I'm a man, huh?
[scoffing]
That's the darndest thing!
You'd think someone
would've told me.
- Well, would you like
to meet some other men?
- There's others?
- Sure.
Of course, you need
a couple things first.
Uh... Like, a name.
You know, something that
somebody can call you.
- Hmm.
- Bill.
You like "Bill"?
- Bill?
Howdy, Bill.
Nice to meet you, Bill.
[laughing]
But it needs something else.
Hey, what's this here
river called?
- Pecos River.
- Then I'll be Pecos Bill.
Now what else do I need?
- Well, you're gonna need
some clothes.
And a hat for drinking out of.
- Oh! Well...
It better be able
to hold ten gallons
because I got a mighty
powerful thirst.
[chuckling]
[soft music]
- Boys, there's somebody here
I'd like you to meet.
This here is Pecos Bill.
- Howdy, boys!
- Well, these are my hands.
Tom, Don and Juan.
- Howdy, Juan!
[chuckling]
Howdy, Don!
Well, howdy, Tom!
It's nice to meet you men.
I'm a man too, you know?
[laughing]
- Where'd he get them
ridiculous clothes?
- He picked them out himself.
[mooing]
[Grandpa]: The next day,
Bob and his hands
took Pecos Bill out to show him
how they made their living
as cow farmers.
- Exactly how long do you
usually wait like this?
- As long as it takes for that
cow to step into the snare.
[mooing]
- Sometimes, we wait
for a couple of days.
- It's worth the wait
when you bag one.
[horse neighing]
[stomping approaching]
- Ah, heck!
That's that darn wild horse.
He's gonna scare away our cow.
[horse neighing]
- Yahoo! By God, that is
one fine-looking animal.
[speaking in Spanish]
- That's the fourth time
he's done that this week.
- We might as well
just pack it in.
- You mind if I make
a suggestion?
If you can't get the cow
to the rope,
why don't you just bring
the rope to the cow?
- Well, I appreciate
that suggestion, Bill.
But we've been doing it
this way for years.
[chuckling]
- Well, can I try something?
I learned this catching panthers
with rattlesnakes.
Ya! Ha!
[mooing]
- Well, if that don't be...
- Yes.
- Bill...
- Hey, Bill!
[Grandpa]: From that day on,
they looked to Pecos Bill
to teach them how to be cowboys
- Yeah! That's it, boys!
Keep the slipknots loose
and remember:
it's all in the wrist.
- We're mighty grateful
for all them 46 cows today.
- But you know, Bill,
a lot of folks in these parts,
they're going to be mighty
jealous we got all these cows.
What if they come
and try to steal them?
- Well, we'll have to mark them
so we know they're ours.
- I know. We can put
a ribbon on their tails.
- Or a collar around their necks
with a name tag.
- I got a better idea.
Start a fire.
- Oh, I get it.
We'll cook them
and we'll eat them before
anybody can steal them.
[Grandpa]: Bill could see
it was up to him
to do the thinking.
So he invented the cattle brand
and lots of other things.
- You see, I call this "chili"
because it's anything but.
And I left out some
of the strong stuff
because you gotta work up to it.
- How do you know when
it's done, Bill?
[chuckling]
- Come here, give her a try.
[whistling]
[screaming]
Needs more red pepper.
You shouldn't be able
to land on your feet that way.
[Grandpa]: Meanwhile,
in Petunia City,
Governor Peasley
had his hands full
with his free-spirited
youngest daughter, Rose.
- Rose, I don't understand
your behaviour.
And you know I don't allow
whittling in my office.
And get your feet off my desk!
Honestly, young lady,
where do you get the temerity!
- She probably steals it.
[chuckling]
- Rose, reliable sources
have told me
that you were out running
and climbing trees this morning.
Is that any way for a young lady
to behave?
- Bad salamander!
[screaming]
- Get the...
- Rose!
Rose, put that disgusting
thing away.
- Oh, he's just a harmless
critter, consarn it.
- "Consarn it"?
Well, the language we use,
little miss!
You've got the mouth
of an old prospector.
- You always say
I have my mother's mouth.
- And she would be rolling over
in her grave if she saw you now.
You're wearing pants!
You're getting dirty!
Let's not forget that
this is Texas!
[together]: The tidy state.
- Oh, Daddy...
- What?
- Rose missed her waltzing
lesson again.
- Oh, Daddy!
- What?
- Rose let her terrarium die.
- Rose...
How are you ever going
to catch a man
if you don't start
acting like a lady?
[rhythmic music]
[Grandpa]: Back at the ranch,
Bill was finding more ways
to give the cowboys a special
sense of pride in who they were
- Okay.
Bob, that makes you Laredo.
And Don, you're Galveston.
Tom, you're Amarillo.
And Juan, you're El Dorado.
Yeehaw!
- I'm gonna put my name
on the back of my belt.
[chuckling]
[rumbling]
[horse neighing
and galloping away]
- Consarn it, it's that
wild horse again.
- Shoot! He's gonna rile up
the cattle
and make them stampede.
- Well, it's time
we tamed this critter.
I could use a good
riding horse, anyway.
And this one looks
just my style.
[Grandpa]: What followed
was a battle so fierce
it lasted three days.
[Bill]: You stubborn pile
of horse feed!
[horse neighing]
[Grandpa]: The men feared
neither horse nor man
would survive.
[Bill laughing]
- He'll never make it.
[horse neighing]
[Bill]: Yeeha!
Go ahead and buck!
I ain't even worked up
a sweat yet.
[horse neighing]
- He'll never make it.
[Bill]: Whoa! You can kick
all you want...
[horse neighing]
I ain't letting go.
[yawning]
- He'll never make it.
[Grandpa]: Just about the time
the boys had given up hope,
Bill rode up on the grandest
horse the men had ever seen.
- Howdy, boys.
When's breakfast?
[chuckling]
- Well, if that don't be...
- I warn you men
not to ride this horse.
He's a widow maker.
Hey, in fact, I think
that's what I'll call him.
You like that, Widow-Maker?
[horn blaring]
[indistinct chatter]
- Oh, Posy, look. Sweet peas!
[laughing]
- I love sweet peas.
- Oh!
[animal chirping]
- Oh, Rose...
If you don't pick any flowers,
what are you gonna do
when it's your turn
to make the centre plate?
[animal shrieking]
- I'll use my cactus again.
- Oh, Rose...
A cactus isn't a flower.
- I know a cactus
isn't a flower.
But it takes care of itself
and it don't wilt
and die neither.
[together]: Oh, gross!
- Girls, let me ask
you something.
Don't you ever want
for something more exciting
than picking flowers
or crocheting doilies,
or having tea?
[both]: No. Why?
[sighing]
- Sometimes, I feel so
cooped up and restless
like there's something
out there I'm missing.
- Well, maybe
you should keep a diary.
- Or talk to the minister.
- Forget it.
[rumbling]
- Oh, Pansy!
It's an earthquake!
We'll be killed in our flowers.
We'll be crushed.
[horse neighing]
[Bill]: Yeehaw!
[exclaiming]
- I'll never come out
here again.
- Wow!
To think there's a male
like that in Texas!
Yeehaw!
[rhythmic music]
[moaning]
[Grandpa]: That night, Pecos
served up some more chili,
and another lesson
on being a cowboy.
[moaning]
- Anybody want more chili?
[all]: No.
- I just got my eyesight
back from the last bowl.
- Alright, I'll put
the lid back on.
It's even better the second day.
[moaning]
Oh, I know what you boys need.
It's a trick I learned
from the coyotes
to help aid digestion.
You see, whenever we had too
many prairie dogs
or come across a mealy piece
of skunk meat,
we just howl at the moon
till things settle.
- We'll try anything.
- Let's try howling.
Okay? Howl.
[howling]
[howling continues]
Hold it, hold it!
Boys, boys, boys! Hold it!
I forgot...
You haven't had the advantage
of a coyote upbringing.
Excuse me.
Now I don't mean to offend
you gentlemen,
but you just don't have
the instinct for howling.
So, I figured out
a way to organize it all
so it sounds a little better.
On three.
One, two, three.
♪ Give me a home
♪ Where the buffalo roam
♪ And the deer
and the antelope play ♪
♪ Where seldom is heard
♪ A discouraging word
♪ And the skies
are not cloudy all day ♪
♪ Home
♪ Home on the range
♪ Where the deer
and the antelope play ♪
♪ Where seldom is heard
♪ A discouraging word...
[Grandpa]: Yes, Pecos Bill
had penned
the first Texas trail song,
and taught the cowboys
how to sing it.
It worked to settle
the boys' stomachs,
but it set someone else's
jumping.
Rose was sure she'd never heard
anything so beautiful
in all her life.
[soft singing]
The next day, Bill and the boys
started another Texas tradition
They rode into town.
It was the first time anyone
in Petunia City
had ever seen a cowboy.
[indistinct chatter]
- What are they all staring at?
- I don't know. Probably me.
I'm a six-time checker champion.
- Oh, right, right...
Howdy, folks!
We're just here for some chow
and maybe to do some singing.
[classical music]
- Bob?
What has happened to you?
- I've become a cowboy.
- Is that good?
- Good?
It's better than a triple jump
on a checkerboard.
We're the wave of the future.
You watch and see.
Cowboys are gonna change
the whole face of Texas.
- I see. Uh... Shouldn't that
be in your pocket, though?
- No. Closer to your nose,
this way.
[He blows his nose.]
[chuckling]
- Oh, my!
- Well, gentlemen, we have
several luncheon specials.
All of our food
is prepared locally.
- Oh!
- And our fresh
catch of the day is coyote.
[growling]
[screaming]
[gunfire]
- Reliable sources tell me that
you dragged yourself in here
at three o'clock in the morning.
What exactly were you doing?
Rose.
- Looking for morning glories.
- Don't get smart with me,
young lady. And park your gum.
- Daddy,
I was listening to the
prettiest music I ever heard.
- Oh, I knew it.
She's hanging out
with musicians.
- I fell asleep and when
I woke up I came straight home.
I'm sorry, Daddy. I promise you
it will never happen again.
- Well, you're darn right
it won't.
Rose, I've had to make
a very difficult decision.
I realize that
I cannot handle you.
I'm sorry, but I'm sending
you back east
to live with your Aunt Cornelia.
- Oh, no, pa, please!
She hasn't left that darned dank
house in 30 years!
- Your aunt is a fine,
God-fearing woman.
She will treat you well
and raise you right.
And you'll be on the next stage.
- No!
[both]: Daddy, Daddy!
Come quick!
There's a bunch of men
in big, goofy hats
tearing up the Rusty Tulip!
[together]: What?!
[both]: Daddy, Daddy!
Come quick!
There's a bunch of men
in big, goofy hats
tearing up the Rusty Tulip!
- Big hats!
- Well, I'll put a stop to this.
[rhythmic music]
[indistinct chatter]
[enthusiastic cries]
[glass breaking]
- Try it again, you missed!
[screaming]
[piano notes playing]
- Hey, wait a minute!
Friends shake!
Oh, you're a woman!
Come up here.
Hey!
[laughing]
[rhythmic piano music]
- Aha! Alright, who's next?
Oh, didn't you already
go before?
- Only once.
- Oh, alright.
[screaming]
- Uh, afternoon, governor.
- Just what is going on here?
And who is responsible
for this despicable mess?
- I am, sir.
And I'd be happy to pay
for all the damages,
if you just take coyote
off the menu.
- I like coyote.
[growling]
- Oh, Bill, Bill.
Not here and not now.
This is Governor Peasley.
- That's right!
And as long as I am Governor
of Texas,
this kind of behaviour
will not be tolerated!
That goes for everybody.
[all]: Aw!
- Now you, big boy,
get your rowdy bunch out of town
and make sure you never
come back again!
- Let's go, boys.
This ain't no place
for real cowboys.
[cries of surprise]
- Daddy, you're making
a big mistake.
- Don't you have
some packing to do?
And I want this place cleaned up
and made ready
for the dinner crowd.
[Grandpa]: Bill was plenty
steamed
about his run-in
with the governor.
So he and his men turned
to outlawing for a while.
And they never meant any harm.
They was just having fun.
As luck would have it,
Bill and his men
held up the very stage
that was taking Rose back east.
[rhythmic music]
[gunshots]
[Bill]: Hold it right there.
[wheels screeching]
[horse neighing]
- Wow.
[Bill]: Alright, everybody out!
[chuckling]
This is a stickup.
Now, there's nothing
to be afraid of, folks.
Don't worry, we're just on
a little scavenger hunt here.
Okay. Now, we need a thimble.
We need a matchbox,
and an uncirculated
1815 bubble head nickel.
[horse neighs]
- This guy's got the nickel,
Bill!
[laughs]
And here's the matchbox!
[cheers]
Come on, lady! I know you got
a thimble in there!
Every woman carries a thimble
in her purse!
- Not this one!
[Grandpa]: With that one
mighty blow,
Rose had stolen Bill's heart.
- Howdy, ma'am.
[heart thumping]
- Hi!
[soft music]
- See you, boys.
[wolf howling]
- That girl looks mighty
familiar.
- Bill, these last three days
with you
have been the best
three days of my life.
I never knew life in Texas
could be so exciting.
- Well, you only get one go
around this big tumbleweed.
If you can't live it
as a coyote,
you might as well
live it as a cowboy.
- Oh, yeah.
- No matter what that weasel
of a governor says.
What's his name?
- Oh... Peasley...
- You know him?
- Oh, I've seen him.
- Well then, enough said.
Say, where are my manners?
I've been calling you
my pretty little coyote,
and I never even asked
your real name.
- Oh, well...
It's... kind of a tricky name.
It's... Sue!
- Just plain Sue?
- No, that would be dull,
wouldn't it?
Slew Foot Sue!
I was named after an aunt.
[sigh]
- Slew Foot Sue.
I like that.
- I'm glad, 'cause I like you.
- And I like you.
[gun shots]
- Oh, my...
It is warm today.
I think I'll go
for a little swim.
- Mm-hmm.
- You want...
You want to join me?
- Oh no thanks,
I think I'll just
let this barbed wire pie sail.
[Grandpa]: Bill was mighty swee
on Slew Foot Sue already,
but then, he saw something that
locked her in his heart forever
There in the middle
of the Pecos River sat Sue,
astride the biggest,
wildest catfish ever!
She was having
a whale of a good time!
- Attagirl, Sue!
[Grandpa]: Meanwhile,
in Petunia City,
Pecos Bill's visit had left
its mark on the townspeople.
They had admired Bill's guts
and did everything to copy
his two-fisted style.
This riled Governor Peasley
to no end.
- People! People!
People, please try
and act like people!
[both]: Shut up!
- Thank you, angels.
Citizens of Petunia City,
we are faced
with a grave threat
to the integrity
of our great state of Texas.
One man seeks to undermine
the very fibre
of our peaceful existence.
This man!
Pecos Bill!
[cheers]
People!
This desperado has kidnapped
my daughter!
And encouraged
an insidious disregard
for manners in our community.
I want him caught,
dead or alive.
[murmurs of disappointment]
Good day.
- We designed these posters
ourselves.
We thought that the simple word
"wanted" above the picture
was a succinct way
of stating our message.
- Hang these
in your businesses and homes
as a constant reminder
of the threat among us.
[Grandpa]:
And so, one could say
Pecos Bill inspired the first
"Wanted" poster in Texas.
Governor Peasley wanted to
remove any memory of Pecos Bill
He enacted new laws against
wearing cowboy clothes
and behaving like a rowdy.
There'd be no card playing,
no calf roping,
no singing,
no hollering,
no wearing of leather.
He even went so far
as to outlaw rope!
Unfortunately, when Peasley
got rid of the last traces
of Bill's influence,
it took all the life
out of Petunia City.
- Here's a toast to the most
wanted man in Texas.
- Ha!
- Pecos Bill and his new bride,
Slew Foot Sue.
[all]: To Slew Foot Sue!
[laughing]
- Ah shucks, fellas!
- I swear I know that girl
from somewhere.
- Darling, I'd like
to give you a present
I threw together myself.
- Uh oh! Another canteen cover.
[laughing]
- No, darling! It's better!
It's a song I wrote
especially for you.
Boys...
- Oh yeah...
[harmonica note playing]
[They harmonize.]
♪ She's the sweetest
little flower ♪
♪ I ever, ever knew
♪ Her eyes are bright
as diamonds ♪
♪ They sparkle like the dew
♪ You may talk about your Daisy,
May and sing of Rosalie ♪
♪ But the Slew Foot Sue
of Texas ♪
♪ Is the only gal for me
[cheers]
[laughing]
- Bill, that's so pretty!
- Oh, darling!
- You know, there's only
one more thing
that would make this day
perfect for me!
- Oh, you name it, honey!
I'd give you the world,
if I could!
- I'd like to ride Widow-Maker.
- No!
No, that's entirely
out of the question.
This horse is too ornery!
- I can handle him!
You saw me ride that catfish!
- A cat? That's an entirely
different critter,
entirely different temperament.
- Well, Bill!
- No, and I'm not
changing my mind!
Darling, let's not be
scraping like polecats
on our wedding day.
- Hey, Bill!
How about a piece
of gunpowder cake?
- Don't mind if I do!
Now, darling...
You look real pretty.
[Grandpa]: Sue had thought Bill
was just being overprotective.
She soon found out
that horse wouldn't stand
for anyone but Bill.
[whimsical music]
- Giddy up!
[air horn]
[horse neighs]
- Darn it!
I told that girl
not to ride that horse!
[horse neighs]
[Grandpa]: And with one big,
mighty buck,
he sent Sue flying in the air.
And when she came down,
that big hooped skirt of hers
just sent her
right back up again.
[Sue screams.]
This went on for several days.
[Sue screams.]
- Bill, don't you think
you ought to do something
to get Sue down?
[echoing]: Help!
Bill!
- Are you gonna make your bet or
what?
[Sue screams.]
- Now, she's getting altitude
every bounce.
- I'll call you
and raise you five.
[Sue, echoing]: Help!
- Bill, come on. Be sensible.
She can't go on like that
forever.
[crying out]
- Consarn it!
I told that woman
not to mess with Widow-Maker,
now she'll have
to learn her lesson!
What do you got?
- Four Kings.
- That beats me.
- Oh, shoot!
Ain't won a hand yet!
[Sue screams.]
- Well, think about it.
Where are you ever
gonna meet another gal
like Slew Foot Sue?
- Oh, alright.
Somebody get me
seven miles of rope.
[Grandpa]: By the time
Bill and the boys
had gathered enough rope,
Sue was bouncing eye to eye
with the man in the moon.
- Howdy.
[laughs]
- Hold on, honey!
[Grandpa]: It took a might heav
of that lariat
for Pecos Bill
to lasso his bride.
But Bill brought Sue
back to earth
before she had to set up
housekeeping in the Milky Way.
- That does it. Last time
I'm ever wearing a dress.
- Well, then maybe next time,
you'll believe me.
When I tell you to stay off
that horse, darling,
it's for your own good.
- Bill, we got bigger troubles.
On my last trip up, I spied
a thousand men on horseback
headed this way,
and they look mighty mean!
[sombre music]
- My God...
You're right, and they're
about a mile off...
[sniffing]
And they're packing
extra gunpowder.
- Oh, my! They want to kill you!
- What an honour!
The first posse,
and they're after me!
[laughs]
- Oh, Bill.
What are you gonna do?
- Well, if it wasn't
our honeymoon,
I'd stay and fight them.
But we got prior plans.
Widow-Maker!
[whistling]
Come on, girl.
[Grandpa]:
It was the first time,
but certainly not the last,
that a man
running from the law
would hightail it
across the Mexican border.
And just to make sure
that posse wouldn't follow him,
Pecos Bill dug the Rio Grande,
which still divides Texas
and Mexico today.
[tires screeching]
[wolf howl]
- Olé! Olé!
[He continues howling.]
Bill! Bill!
- Oh! I'm sorry, darling.
Gracias, Julio!
[laughs]
Honey, you haven't even touched
your fried tarantulas yet!
- Yeah, well...
I guess I'm not hungry, Bill.
- Hmm...
- I miss Texas.
- Consarn it, darling!
We've been through this before:
I miss Texas more than anybody!
The smell of mesquite,
the music of a coyote choir,
the sight of sagebrush blooming
in the spring.
- Oh...
- ...one of those
dewy-eyed dogies.
[sigh]
But darling, we can't go back.
That governor Peasley,
he'd throw me in jail!
Or worse.
- Well, maybe
if I talked to him,
he'd see that you weren't
such a bad guy
and he'd let us come back!
[laughs]
- Darling,
that's real sweet of you,
but why would he
listen to you?
[chicken clucking]
- On account of...
I'm his daughter.
[dramatic music]
- Consarn it!
[laughs]
[Grandpa]: Well,
things in Petunia City
were downright awful.
The town had lost its spirit.
Even the rain gave up.
- I had such plans for Texas.
I really wanted
to make an imprint here.
I wanted people
to remember these as...
...as the Peasley years.
The golden age of Texas.
They're gonna remember, alright.
They're gonna blame me
as the man who let Texas
just dry up and blow away!
But it's not my fault, Clarisse!
You must believe me!
I am the victim
of vile circumstances!
- Dad!
- What, Rose?
Rose? Rose! You're back!
Oh, it's a sign, it must be!
- Daddy, you look tired.
- Well, you know, a governor's
work is never done, honey.
I was just telling your mother
here all about that.
She was always
such a wonderful listener.
- Daddy, I barely recognized
Petunia City.
There's hardly a soul around!
- Well, it's quiet!
- It's dead!
- Well, dead is quiet!
- Daddy, I can only stay
on one condition.
- That you can keep
your salamander.
Which is fine with me,
as long as it stays in a cage.
- You gotta let Pecos Bill
come back.
- That's impossible.
The man is an outlaw,
he's a renegade
and he's a thief!
- He's not!
- He is too!
He cleaned a stage coach
out of a matchbox and a nickel!
- He did it for fun!
Bill is the spirit
of Texas, Daddy!
Sure, he may get a little
rough and rowdy sometimes,
but we got room for that here.
We got room for people
to grab life by the horns,
get down in the dirt
and wrestle with it.
- You are shouting Rose!
- Why not?
This ain't Connecticut!
- How can you defend
a man that kidnapped you?
- He never kidnapped me.
He married me.
- What?
- We got hitched.
- Oh, this would kill
your mother.
If she weren't already gone.
- I love him very much, Daddy.
And you would too if you'd only
give him a chance!
- He already had a chance
and look what happened!
He ruined a perfectly good
restaurant!
Pecos Bill will never be
welcomed in Texas.
- The sorriest thing
is how everything's dying.
Cactus are drooping.
Cattle are moping.
Coyotes, they ain't even
howling anymore.
- Sue...
This peeves me deeply.
Here I am,
fretting about my own hide
when the State I love
has been going to ruin.
- I went by Bob's ranch.
- Old Bob?
- They've gone back
to roping cows the old way.
Except it doesn't matter,
not enough water
for more than a couple of cows,
anyway.
- That's it.
It's time to put a stop
to all of this.
- What are you gonna do?
End the drought yourself?
- Yup! I'll drain
the Gulf of Mexico,
if need be.
I'll take...
Of course, that might rile up
my amigos down here.
Or! I could reroute
the Mississippi!
Right through the middle
of Petunia City!
Or... I could find me a cyclone,
ride her into Texas
and make me a big,
beautiful rainstorm.
- Oh, Bill,
you're such a dreamer.
[Grandpa]: She had forgotten
that when Bill
set his mind to something,
there was no stopping him.
He travelled all over the West
looking for just
the right twister.
And when he found her,
blowin' and cussin' up yonder,
he set about to rope
and ride it back to Texas.
[laughs]
Meanwhile, Petunia City
was well on its way
to becoming the world
first's ghost town.
- Oh, come on, folks!
Reconsider!
You're gonna miss
the Flower Fair!
Reverend! Won't you change
your mind and stay?
- Nope.
I've accepted a position in
an area with a brighter future.
We're off to Death Valley.
- Good riddance to bad rubbish.
- Posy, please!
Maybe these people are right.
We may as well pack it up too.
- No, Daddy, wait!
- Rose!
[footsteps approaching]
- Oof, what is she riding?
- Waiter, see my catfish
gets some water, quick.
- Unh, we ain't got any.
- No problem.
It's gonna rain soon anyhow.
- Then, can I keep this?
- Sure.
A souvenir of the day
Pecos Bill saved Texas.
- What are you talking about,
Rose?
- That!
[Pecos Bill]: Yahoo!
[cheers]
Come on, you old blowhard!
Give up!
I ain't letting go
till you start raining!
[thunder crashing]
- I don't believe my eyes!
[lively music]
- Yahoo! Attaboy, Bill!
- Rain! Blessed rain,
my career is saved!
- It's a miracle!
I know God works
in mysterious ways,
but this is new!
[joyfully screaming]
- Did you hear that?
I just "Yahou'ed", dang it!
- Oh, Daddy!
- And I'm starting
to talk funny, too.
This feels good!
[both]: Yahoo!
- Daddy, please have
a little decorum!
- Oh, put a cork in it, Pansy!
I'm having fun!
Look, a puddle!
[crying out]
[lively music]
- This is the worst day
of my life!
[crying]
[Grandpa]: Sure as little boys
hate grandma's kisses,
Pecos Bill had brought life
back to Petunia City.
[They sing joyfully.]
One by one, the people returned
The grateful governor
was happier than a pig in mud.
He even lifted his ban
on wearing cowboy hats.
- Hey, everybody! He's here!
It's Pecos Bill!
[cheering]
- Hip hip!
[all]: Hurray!
- Hip hip!
[all]: Hurray
- Hip hip!
[all]: Hurray!
- Thank you kindly!
Now put me down, boys!
I'm mad saddle-sore.
[laughs]
- Mister Bill?
- Call me Pecos.
- I appreciate that, Pecos.
I have to admit,
I was wrong about you.
I think when all of us here
were ready to give up on Texas,
you were the one that came in
and showed us how to...
[inaudible whispers]
Right...
Grab life by the horns
and get down in the dirt,
and wrestle with it!
- That's it!
[laughing]
- I myself played
in a puddle today.
- Way to go!
- What about this?
Is Bill still gonna
be a wanted man?
- You bet! I want him taken
to the jail immediately!
[murmurs of protest]
And sworn in as the new sheriff
of this town,
which I hereby rename
Pecos, Texas!
[cheering]
Now hold on. That is,
if you and Rose
would consider
settling down here.
- Well now, I'm sure this Rose
is a fine woman, sir,
but I'm already married
to Slew Foot Sue!
- Slew Foot Sue?
- I'll explain later, Daddy.
- That's who that is!
She's the governor's daughter!
I knew I knew that face!
Didn't I say I knew I knew her?
- What do you say, Pecos?
It'd be a great place
to raise our kids.
- Why not? It's already got
my name on it.
[laughs]
- Alright!
- Move over, Beethoven!
♪ She's the sweetest
little flower ♪
♪ I ever, ever knew
♪ Her eyes are bright
as diamonds ♪
♪ They sparkle like the dew
[Grandpa]: Soon after,
the Governor got Bill
to change the name of the song
to "The Yellow Rose of Texas",
after Rose's given name.
And Texans still sing it
to this very day!
[cheering]
- Now then! We're gonna have
to legalize spitting,
social cussin' and card playing.
- Well, consarn it!
I got me a fresh deck
right here!
[cheering]
- And shouting aloud,
except for Sunday morning.
- No problem there.
- Alright.
Now then, sir, we're gonna have
to drive cattle
down Main street
from time to time.
- Are you even thinking
during church?
- No!
- Alright, then!
[laughs]
[Grandpa]: Of course,
the new Texas lifestyle
wasn't for everybody.
- But where will we go?
- We'll take the midnight stage
to San Francisco
and open that shop
we always wanted.
- But Pansy,
there's earthquakes there!
- Shut up!
[lively music]
[cheers]
[Grandpa]: The celebrating
went on into the night.
The cowboys shot
so many bullets in the air,
they knocked out
all of the stars in the sky.
Except one.
And that's why they call it
"The Lone Star State"
[cheers]
[laughs]
So you see, Kevin,
Texas wouldn't what it is today
if it wasn't for Pecos Bill.
- But I still don't understand
why Texans exaggerate so much.
- Well, it's really very simple.
You see, people admired
Pecos Bill so much,
that them that couldn't do
what he could,
they figured to make up
for it by talking big.
The habit just kinda stuck.
- Can I get you two buckaroos
some dessert?
- Sure! What you got?
- Well, we got deep-dished
cherry pie!
So deep, you need a shovel
to get to the bottom of it.
And hot-fudge sundae so high,
you can ski down it.
And apple cobbler so fresh,
it was baked right on the tree.
[laughs]
[Pecos Bill]: Yahou!
Subtitling: difuze