Tacoma FD (2019–…): Season 2, Episode 4 - Lucy Wants a Friend - full transcript
Longing for another female friend, Lucy convinces Chief McConky to transfer firefighter Delilah Dunn to the station; threatened by their female force, the guys on the crew desperately ...
Four serving three.
- Yeah.
- Oh, oh, oh! Ohh!
- Here we go.
- Whew.
Ohh!
Push through! Push through! All you!
Gimme. Give it to me.
Back, back, back, back,
back, back, back, back, back,
back, back, back, back.
- Yeah, boy!
- Yeah!
Tits for days, pal. Bing, bang, bong.
I just want to crack you
in the back of your head
with a hammer fist, man.
Yeah!
Hey, Luce, you want
to play Tennis Balls with us?
Yeah, we've talked about this.
The stakes aren't
really the same for me.
Huh, okay, suit yourself.
You guys, I just won
free concert tickets
to the Tacoma Dome
tonight. Who wants in?
- Who's playing?
- Tay Tay McVee.
"Pasta Party for Two" Tay Tay McVee?
- Yeah.
- No, thank you.
Are you trying to insult
our masculinity on purpose?
What? She's awesome.
- Heh.
- Ike, I heard you listen
to her stuff the other day.
- What?
- Oh.
- Ohh.
- Ahh, you know what that was?
This chick put it in my
playlist in my Spotify.
I wasn't going to see the whole concert.
- Okay.
- Maybe you guys want to do that.
We're here working out.
Let's go, Granny!
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- So no one is interested?
Tell you what, Lucy.
You let us know the next time
a dude man comes through town.
You guys are the worst.
Oh, you got both balls on that one.
You've only got on, Cap.
He's right. Must be my phantom nut.
It still blows my mind
that I can't find anybody
to go to this concert with me.
- I need different friends.
- Try somebody with estrogen.
Come on, Ike. Let's go.
I always do what you guys want to do,
but whenever I suggest something,
you're like, "No, that's a chick flick.
"No that's a chick restaurant."
No, that's a chick supplement."
- Ohh!
- Oh!
Yeah!
I need another drink.
Whiskey neat.
Jinx.
Are you a firefighter?
Yeah, Station 27.
Station 24.
Wait, what's your name?
- Delilah.
- I'm Lucy.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
Do you guys know that it's
my five-year anniversary at the station.
Hey, you know what that means, right?
- What?
- Chief owes you
a five-year anniversary meal.
- What's that?
- Chief takes people out
for the most expensive meal on
their five-year anniversary.
- Wait, really?
- You tell him where
you want to go, and he'll pay for it.
I mean, what would we even talk about?
Stallone.
He loves to talk about Stallone movies.
- Ahh, he does.
- "Judge Dredd"? "Judge Dredd"?
- "Judge Dredd"?
- Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Oh, this is awesome.
Um, you guys want another drink?
- Yeah, man.
- Yeah, of course.
Chief never took me out for any, like,
five-year anniversary
dinner or anything.
That's because he's not getting anybody
a five-year anniversary dinner;
I made it up.
I just want to see Andy's
face when he asks Chief
for a free dinner.
That's awesome.
Come on.
There we go.
Nice doing business with ya.
Whatever, Penisi.
Hello.
You ever play doubles?
Wow, Linda Price.
I had no idea you could
run a table like that.
Well, Captain, there's a lot more to me
than legislative policy making.
Well, have you ever seen this before?
Ooh, careful, it's hot.
Doesn't even feel warm.
Oh, okay. Well, have at it.
Okay.
Very nice, Ms. Price.
But have you ever left
a bar with more money
than when you entered?
- You mean gamble?
- Yeah.
- No, no, no, no.
- Yeah.
- I'm not that wild.
- Yeah, you are.
Let's expand your horizons.
Hold on, so Station 27 is all the way
on the other side of town.
- What brings you over here?
- Yeah, I couldn't get tickets
to Tay Tay McVee,
so I'm hoping to scalp.
I have an extra ticket
and no one to go with.
I won them this morning
on KIPS The Wave.
- Are you Lucky Lucy?
- That's me.
I was totally listening.
You were frickin' hilarious.
Oh, thank you.
So, um, are we gonna go
to this concert or what?
- Yeah, buddy. Let's go.
- Hell yeah.
You okay?
It's a little nerve-racking.
There's $50 on the table.
It's only gonna make
it that much sweeter
when you drain this shot.
Go.
That was amazing.
Thank you.
I've never done this before.
- Neither have I
- Seriously?
- I mean, well, never in this stall, no.
- No, I mean in public.
What if we get caught?
That's the thrill, councilwoman.
Come on. That's not smart.
She controls our budget.
Relax. It was a one-time thing.
- Did you give her your A game?
- No.
It was more like my C game.
That's a lot of game.
Come on.
What are you drinking?
Tomato juice. You ever heard of it?
Nobody drink tomato juice,
unless they're on a plane
or they brought too
much game last night.
I didn't give too much game,
and it's not gonna happen again.
Gentlemen.
- Councilwoman.
- Hey, you.
What brings you by, councilwoman?
I want to get your water usage report
for the quarterly budget.
Well, you didn't have to come down here.
- I could have emailed it to you.
- Well, you know,
it's good for morale
when the elected officials come
to visit the rank and file.
Well, Captain, why don't you
take the councilwoman
and got get the water reports.
Sure. Yeah, let's do it.
- What are you drinking there?
- Tomato juice.
Mind if, um...
Hey, Chief. Oh, sorry.
No problem.
The Captain and I were about to,
uh, get the water report.
- Yeah.
- Good luck.
- Okay. Ma'am.
- Mm-hmm.
What did he just get off a flight?
What's up, Andy?
Oh, you know,
just wanted to let you know
that this week marks five
years at the station.
Congratulations. Seems like yesterday.
It wasn't.
It was five years ago this week.
You know, it's my five-year anniversary.
It's a great accomplishment.
So I was just wondering about
that free anniversary dinner.
- The what?
- The free dinner
that you take everyone out
when they're celebrating
their five-year anniversary.
- Who told you about that?
- Granny and Ike.
All right, you know what? Let's do it.
- Let's have dinner together.
- Nice. Okay.
What about Il Lobsterino?
Bleeder's Steakhouse,
6:00 p.m. Thursday night.
Ooh, okay, yeah.
And I'm etching it in my memory,
because I'm writing it in my calendar.
Awesome. Well, thank you, Chief.
I look forward to dinner.
See you then.
Hey, guys.
Hey.
- Hi.
- Boom.
- You're done?
- Yeah, I just asked him.
- Oh, yeah, really?
- Yeah.
Hmm, 'cause I didn't hear any screaming.
Wait, why would I be yelling?
We're going to dinner on Thursday night.
Ahh, that's good.
What did he say, honestly, please?
Bleeder's, Thursday night, me and him.
Thanks for clueing me in, Granny.
Uh, I keep thinking about our
little trist in the bathroom.
- Mm-hmm.
- It was thrilling.
And the stuff in the
bedroom was great too.
Yeah, but doing it
in public was incredible.
I agree.
- Ooh.
- What?
- I just...
- What are...
Are you trying to kiss me on the cheek?
Yeah, well, I just thought
I was gonna go just...
Okay.
That's nice.
Okay.
Oh.
Son of a bitch.
Do you really think
that was a good idea?
Man, why does everyone keep saying that
- It was a one-time thing.
- Let me ask you something.
Did you give her your A game?
No, I gave her my C game.
Cap, are you kidding me?
That's still a lot of game.
I know. I know. I can't help it.
And plus, it would be great
to have another woman on the shift.
If you could just pull some
string and get her here,
it would be a total win-win.
And she wants to be transferred?
What? Yeah.
She doesn't like it at 27,
and I know she's love it here.
Also, she was just saying how much
she respected you as a chief.
Respected me? From what?
Well, you might not know this,
but you have a very good reputation.
And people want to work for you.
- Mm.
- Please?
It would be really nice to
have another woman here.
- Let me think about it.
- Yes.
Thank you, Dad.
I didn't say yes.
I know, but you won't regret it.
- Mwah!
- Oh, okay.
Let's keep it profesh up in here, huh?
I think I'm gonna regret it.
I feel like the devil
pissed in my throat.
It's like a river of lava
just flowing up my esophagus.
- What are you guys doing?
- Heartburn war.
Oh, yeah? Who's winning?
I would say we're all losing, Cap.
No, I put the most...
- Hey, everybody.
- Hey, Chief.
- Hey, Chief.
- Listen up.
We have a new edition to the station.
Joining us all the way from Station 27,
this is Delilah Dunn, Everyone.
- Hey, everybody.
- Oh, wow.
- Hi. Hi, hi, hi.
- Welcome, welcome.
- Yeah, so treat her well.
- Hi.
What, you guys know each other?
Yeah, we went to the Tay
Tay McVee concert together.
Chick alert.
Now, listen,
Delilah's a big fan of this station,
so we're happy to have her here.
Yeah, yeah, um, we're just really happy
to have you here, Delilah, right, guys?
Of course, yeah,
we're so excited to play
some Tay Tay McVee
nonstop in the station
all day long.
Oh, yeah, and then we're all
gonna do mud masks
and eat acai bowls, right?
- We don't eat that.
- Yeah, we don't eat frozen yogurt.
Yeah, watch out.
Women are secretly trying to
- take over your world.
- Nah, I don't think so.
If our periods sync up,
we're gonna be unstoppable.
Okay, TMI.
All right, have fun, everybody.
Get to know each other.
Hey, that syncing stuffis an urban myth.
It actually happens all the time.
And it allows women to bond
in ways men can't imagine.
Like how?
- ESP.
- Yeah, right.
- No way.
- You guys just wait and see.
Come one, Delilah,
I want to show you around the station.
Nice meeting you, guys.
- Welcome, though, Delilah, welcome.
- No, seriously.
Hey, dudes,
that syncing stuff's not true, right?
I don't know.
'Cause my mom and my sister talk about
syncing their cycles all the time
and how it affects their synergy.
I wonder if there's
anything we could sync up.
- Like what?
- Mm-mm.
Piss cycles!
Synchronize your watches, and go.
- Ahh.
- Ohh, man.
Alright. We're drinking 12 ounces of
water on the top of every hour,
no going in between.
- Okay.
- Got it.
- Hello, Captain.
- Linda.
I came to get those reports,
but I keep thinking about the bar.
Hmm, me too.
I was wondering if we should,
uh, do it again.
Name the time and the place.
How about now?
Uh, Linda, you know,
I've done some questionable
things at the station at night.
But in the middle of the day,
anybody could walk in.
Isn't that the thrill, Captain?
Mm-hmm.
- Where is he?
- He's at the Chief's luncheon.
But he could be back at any second.
In the Chief's office.
Can you imagine how
many important decisions
- are made here?
- No.
Who has all these pictures
of themselves on their desk?
Yeah, and the best part is,
they all have the same
stupid frown smile.
Mm, Terry McConky, mm-mm-mm.
- I need a new truck.
- Yeah.
Do I make myself clear?
That's an order.
- Brah-brah.
- That's an order.
- Hold up. Oh.
- What?
There goes June.
- Oh, Linda...
- You like that?
Can I, uh, get you another
Diet Coke while you wait?
Uh, sure.
I'll take advantage of the free refills.
- Oh, they're not free.
- Oh, oh, then I'll just...
Okay. Can I get you started
on something or...
- Just maybe some more bread.
- More bread?
Okay. Just bread.
I looked like a fool.
There's no way he meant to stand you up.
He'll definitely reschedule.
Well, I'm not going through
that kind of pain again.
They asked me to leave.
- Who did?
- Everybody in the restaurant.
That sucks.
Wow, Chief was playing him all along.
That was a harsh prank by Chief,
like, harsh.
See, that's why you don't mess
with those old-school firefighters.
They play hard.
It's true, man.
Mess with the bull,
you get the bananas, buddy.
Hey, D., do you have any tampons?
Things got started a little
early for me this month.
Whoa, it's happening.
I'm on my period. You synced up to me.
Wow, that was fast.
- And that makes you the beta.
- Huh?
'Cause in the wolf pack,
all the betas sync up
to the alpha's cycle.
She's dominant.
Well, I don't know about all that.
Speaking of, you need to bulk
up a little bit, little beta.
Do you want to go to the gym after this?
Sure.
Can you drive, though?
I'm a little low on gas.
My commute's, like, 20 miles,
but the traffic makes it rough.
Yeah, I'm happy to drive,
but you should think
about moving closer.
I would, but I just bought
a house two weeks ago
by my other station.
I thought I was gonna be
there a little longer.
- Ahh.
- Ooh, bad timing. Sorry.
- Sucks for me.
- Yeah...
- I'm sorry.
- Ooh, I gotta pee.
Me too.
Oh-ho-ho-ho, we did it. We synced up.
Great job, guys.
Magic time.
Eddie, can I see you in my office?
- What's the magic word?
- Now.
Huh.
Okay, what's up, Chief?
You have something you want to tell me?
Nah, don't think so.
Maybe something you
were doing in my office?
Maybe on my desk?
Oh...
Okay, maybe this will
job your memory, huh?
- Huh?
- Uh...
I found these under my desk.
I can explain those.
- Oh, you can, can you?
- Uh...
Eddie, I told you 100 times,
don't fold your laundry in my office.
Oh, yeah, well, it's just that your desk
is the perfect height
for folding clothes.
It's not a folding table, okay?
Now everything's out of place.
My pictures are facedown.
Why are my pictures facedown?
Well, that's because I
didn't like you watching me
while I was folding my laundry.
Yeah, by the way,
why are you frowning
in all these photos?
I'm not frowning in these photos.
I'm smiling in my photos.
No, you're frowning. You're frowning.
This is a smile. Those are frowns.
- That's a smile.
- Frown.
Smile, frown, smile frown.
Try going like this.
I don't use my teeth, okay?
This is what it would look like.
Okay, yeah, that's pretty hideous.
Can you not smile like a real person?
This is my smile. This is my desk.
I can put whatever damn
pictures I want on my desk.
And go fold your laundry somewhere else.
- You got it.
- So now, take that with you.
Okay, okay. Hey.
- Hey, Chief.
- What's up, Andy?
Uh, just wanted to know how
your night was last night.
Kind of boring,
watched some "Judge Janie,"
ate some Jell-O, fell asleep.
- How was yours?
- Pretty terrible.
Oh, well, better luck tonight.
I had a date last
night that stood me up,
kind of ruined my night.
Oh, shit.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I wrote it down.
I wrote it down on the calendar.
You saw me write it down, right?
- Chief...
- I... where's June?
- Where's June?
- Chief, if you...
No, June is not here. It's July. Lookit.
Someone ripped off June.
I watched a bunch of Stallone movies.
I watched "Don't, Stop!
Or my Mom will Shoot"
And I was like, "Ahh,
got to get through this whole thing
just so I can talk
about something and"...
It was a mistake. It was a mistake.
- I want to have dinner with you.
- You do?
Let's do it tomorrow night.
- How about tomorrow night? Okay?
- Yeah.
We'll write it down somewhere
where everyone can see it.
I couldn't wait to,
like, tell you, like,
"Oh, I'm your Tango," you know?
Yeah. Oh, "Tango & Cash."
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- That's one of my favorites.
What are you guys doing?
You'll be happy to know
that now that we've synced
our piss cycles we can now
read each other's minds.
Sure you can.
_
_
Okay, Andy, so I don't forget,
here we go.
- Dinner, Andy...
- Yep.
_
- _
- Tomorrow.
Won't forget that.
After the gym tonight,
you want to go to a movie?
Oh, I can't. I promised
my mom I'd go see her.
Oh, I didn't know
your mom was in Tacoma.
She's in a nursing
home on my side of town.
When I was at Station 27,
I could pop in and see her anytime.
Now that I'm over here,
it makes it a little harder.
When I get the chance,
I don't like to miss it.
I'm so sor... I'm sorry.
No, it's okay.
Now that I'm not there that much,
it's a little harder.
Oh, God.
_
_
Oh, my God. You guys can't really do it.
Oh, my God, jealous much?
Heh-heh, Timberlake, Fatone, Bass.
We're 'NSYNC, guys.
Do you guys realize that
you're actually on my cycle?
Like, that makes me the
alpha and you guys the betas.
- What?
- You guys follow me.
I don't even know
what I was doing there.
I don't gotta pee at all.
I just had to get up and
compulsively wash my hands.
I guess you guys really
didn't need to pee, huh?
Well, we could all just leave
the bathroom together, though, right?
Why? What are you talking about?
Ahh, I gotta get my beauty
sleep anyway, so...
got that big dinner with Chief tomorrow.
Yeah, we know.
Bye.
- Oh.
- Hi, Eddie.
Linda, what are you doing here?
I wanted a thrill.
Okay.
I love the danger of getting caught.
Well, where do you want to do it?
Right here.
Linda, this is, like, extremely public.
I know.
Mmm.
Are you sure I can't
interest you in a mattress?
Positive.
_
The hickory axe was a
good choice for putting.
Holy shit, it works.
I knew it.
I knew it.
Hey, what's the matter, Chief?
Delilah was on her
way to visit her mother
at the nursing home,
and she got there,
and the place was on fire.
So she went in to help,
and she never came out.
Delilah's dead.
- And, Lucy...
- Yeah, Dad?
It should have been you.
It should have been you.
It should have been you.
It should have been you.
Delilah, are you okay?
I just had the worst dream.
You died, and everyone cheered.
Anyways, good night.
I'm gonna try and dream about my mom.
Hey, what are you doing up?
Oh, can't sleep, you?
Oh, I'm just dickin' around.
Whoa, what's going on with that hair?
It's stress, Uncle Eddie.
- I messed up bad.
- I'm listening.
I lied to my dad to get him
to transfer Delilah here.
Did she want to be transferred?
Not at all, but I told him that she did.
Yeah, I'm stressed out too.
I've been having sex with Linda Price.
- Yeah, no shit.
- Well, here's the problem.
She doesn't care about me.
She just want to have
sex in public places.
Isn't that every dude's dream?
No, I don't want to be
somebody's boy toy, you know,
like a piece of thrill meat.
What are we gonna do?
I have to break up with Linda Price.
And you have to come clean with Delilah.
- No fucking way.
- No?
You want to keep not sleeping
and having your hair fall out?
All right, you're right.
I'll tell her tomorrow.
And I'll break up with
Linda Price tomorrow.
Good morning. You're up early.
Oh, yes, sir.
I'm an early riser.
You know, I've been meaning to ask you
- how things have been going.
- Oh, it's been great.
Safe to say you're
enjoying your time here
more than at Station 27?
I know you were having
some problems over there.
- Problems?
- Yeah, that's why you wanted
- to be transferred?
- Oh, I did not want to be transferred.
The crew over there is amazing.
And it was right around
the corner from my house.
So you weren't aware of this reputation
of this station or... me?
No, not really.
I just want to be a good firefighter.
Okay, well, keep it up.
You're doing a great job.
There's no question we all agree
that the municipal
structure is cost-effective
and the project is on track.
I need to talk,
but I can come back later.
Uh, first what we need to
address are safety concerns.
The safety concerns are
definitely an issue.
- What are you doing?
- We've been in ongoing consultation...
I need to talk to you
about something. Stop.
Permitting is under way, and to date
there are no code violations,
but maybe someone else
on this call can speak
to the actual safety concerns.
Hi, folks, Fire Chief
Terry McConky here.
- Hi, Chief.
- I apologize for joining late.
My calendar got a little muddled.
But I have a 15-point plan to
address the safety issues.
15 points, great. Take your time.
Number one, fire-retardant plastics.
Oh, yeah.
I know. I like
fire-retardant plastics too.
Number 14,
digital carbon monoxide meters.
- Folks...
- Thanks.
We are not in the Stone Age anymore.
Am I right?
Hey, what's up?
Delilah, I wanted to talk to you
about what's been going on here.
You don't have to apologize.
It was Chief's call.
Well, it's kind of my fault.
No, it's not. It's okay.
I'm happy to be going
back to Station 27.
What?
Yeah, Chief decided to transfer me back.
I hope you're not mad at me.
No, no, I would... I would never be mad.
Lucy, my office now.
Did you tell her everything?
No, I didn't tell her the
sinister role that you played
in upending her life for
your personal satisfaction.
- Thank, Chief.
- Eh, don't thank me yet.
You still need to learn a lesson.
- I feel like I have.
- I feel like you haven't.
So I'm transferring you.
What? You... you can't transfer me.
Yes, I can. She spent two weeks here.
So you're spending
two weeks at Station 34.
At the shit shack?!
No, Dad, please, you cannot
send me to that hell hole.
Yes, I can. I pulled some strings.
So now you're gonna
spend two lovely weeks
stationed next to the landfill
putting out dump fires.
- Dad.
- Have fun, probie.
Yum-yum-yum-yum-yum, that's good water.
You guys can have
some of this if you want.
- Oops.
- I'm not thirsty.
You know, it's totally okay for you guys
to be on my piss cycle.
I'm not on your piss cycle.
You know why? 'Cause I'm an alpha.
We're alphas.
I should probably start getting ready,
because I have dinner
with Chief tonight.
Oh, yeah, you gonna run up
that tab or what?
Yeah, all I've had all day is water.
What about you?
What are you gonna do tonight, Cap?
Okay, I'm gonna come clean.
I've been having sex with Linda Price.
- No shit.
- We saw you.
Here's the thing.
Tonight I'm ending it for real.
I'm taking control,
because I'm Eddie Penisi.
Son of a bitch.
All right, time to get ready.
Yeah, all right.
Huh.
I was just talking about you.
- I'm breaking up with you.
- What?
I need more of a thrill
than you can give me.
- What... I... I can give you?
- You're too timid.
Hold on. I'm...
We'll always have the Chief's desk.
Holy shit!
Drink some water.
_
_
_
Chief, you are a badass, man.
- Man.
- Come on.
- What did I do?
- Schooled Andy again.
- He's sitting there going...
- Ah, shit!
Oh, my God.
Andy!
That's a weird way to celebrate.
- Yeah.
- Oh, oh, oh! Ohh!
- Here we go.
- Whew.
Ohh!
Push through! Push through! All you!
Gimme. Give it to me.
Back, back, back, back,
back, back, back, back, back,
back, back, back, back.
- Yeah, boy!
- Yeah!
Tits for days, pal. Bing, bang, bong.
I just want to crack you
in the back of your head
with a hammer fist, man.
Yeah!
Hey, Luce, you want
to play Tennis Balls with us?
Yeah, we've talked about this.
The stakes aren't
really the same for me.
Huh, okay, suit yourself.
You guys, I just won
free concert tickets
to the Tacoma Dome
tonight. Who wants in?
- Who's playing?
- Tay Tay McVee.
"Pasta Party for Two" Tay Tay McVee?
- Yeah.
- No, thank you.
Are you trying to insult
our masculinity on purpose?
What? She's awesome.
- Heh.
- Ike, I heard you listen
to her stuff the other day.
- What?
- Oh.
- Ohh.
- Ahh, you know what that was?
This chick put it in my
playlist in my Spotify.
I wasn't going to see the whole concert.
- Okay.
- Maybe you guys want to do that.
We're here working out.
Let's go, Granny!
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- So no one is interested?
Tell you what, Lucy.
You let us know the next time
a dude man comes through town.
You guys are the worst.
Oh, you got both balls on that one.
You've only got on, Cap.
He's right. Must be my phantom nut.
It still blows my mind
that I can't find anybody
to go to this concert with me.
- I need different friends.
- Try somebody with estrogen.
Come on, Ike. Let's go.
I always do what you guys want to do,
but whenever I suggest something,
you're like, "No, that's a chick flick.
"No that's a chick restaurant."
No, that's a chick supplement."
- Ohh!
- Oh!
Yeah!
I need another drink.
Whiskey neat.
Jinx.
Are you a firefighter?
Yeah, Station 27.
Station 24.
Wait, what's your name?
- Delilah.
- I'm Lucy.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
Do you guys know that it's
my five-year anniversary at the station.
Hey, you know what that means, right?
- What?
- Chief owes you
a five-year anniversary meal.
- What's that?
- Chief takes people out
for the most expensive meal on
their five-year anniversary.
- Wait, really?
- You tell him where
you want to go, and he'll pay for it.
I mean, what would we even talk about?
Stallone.
He loves to talk about Stallone movies.
- Ahh, he does.
- "Judge Dredd"? "Judge Dredd"?
- "Judge Dredd"?
- Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Oh, this is awesome.
Um, you guys want another drink?
- Yeah, man.
- Yeah, of course.
Chief never took me out for any, like,
five-year anniversary
dinner or anything.
That's because he's not getting anybody
a five-year anniversary dinner;
I made it up.
I just want to see Andy's
face when he asks Chief
for a free dinner.
That's awesome.
Come on.
There we go.
Nice doing business with ya.
Whatever, Penisi.
Hello.
You ever play doubles?
Wow, Linda Price.
I had no idea you could
run a table like that.
Well, Captain, there's a lot more to me
than legislative policy making.
Well, have you ever seen this before?
Ooh, careful, it's hot.
Doesn't even feel warm.
Oh, okay. Well, have at it.
Okay.
Very nice, Ms. Price.
But have you ever left
a bar with more money
than when you entered?
- You mean gamble?
- Yeah.
- No, no, no, no.
- Yeah.
- I'm not that wild.
- Yeah, you are.
Let's expand your horizons.
Hold on, so Station 27 is all the way
on the other side of town.
- What brings you over here?
- Yeah, I couldn't get tickets
to Tay Tay McVee,
so I'm hoping to scalp.
I have an extra ticket
and no one to go with.
I won them this morning
on KIPS The Wave.
- Are you Lucky Lucy?
- That's me.
I was totally listening.
You were frickin' hilarious.
Oh, thank you.
So, um, are we gonna go
to this concert or what?
- Yeah, buddy. Let's go.
- Hell yeah.
You okay?
It's a little nerve-racking.
There's $50 on the table.
It's only gonna make
it that much sweeter
when you drain this shot.
Go.
That was amazing.
Thank you.
I've never done this before.
- Neither have I
- Seriously?
- I mean, well, never in this stall, no.
- No, I mean in public.
What if we get caught?
That's the thrill, councilwoman.
Come on. That's not smart.
She controls our budget.
Relax. It was a one-time thing.
- Did you give her your A game?
- No.
It was more like my C game.
That's a lot of game.
Come on.
What are you drinking?
Tomato juice. You ever heard of it?
Nobody drink tomato juice,
unless they're on a plane
or they brought too
much game last night.
I didn't give too much game,
and it's not gonna happen again.
Gentlemen.
- Councilwoman.
- Hey, you.
What brings you by, councilwoman?
I want to get your water usage report
for the quarterly budget.
Well, you didn't have to come down here.
- I could have emailed it to you.
- Well, you know,
it's good for morale
when the elected officials come
to visit the rank and file.
Well, Captain, why don't you
take the councilwoman
and got get the water reports.
Sure. Yeah, let's do it.
- What are you drinking there?
- Tomato juice.
Mind if, um...
Hey, Chief. Oh, sorry.
No problem.
The Captain and I were about to,
uh, get the water report.
- Yeah.
- Good luck.
- Okay. Ma'am.
- Mm-hmm.
What did he just get off a flight?
What's up, Andy?
Oh, you know,
just wanted to let you know
that this week marks five
years at the station.
Congratulations. Seems like yesterday.
It wasn't.
It was five years ago this week.
You know, it's my five-year anniversary.
It's a great accomplishment.
So I was just wondering about
that free anniversary dinner.
- The what?
- The free dinner
that you take everyone out
when they're celebrating
their five-year anniversary.
- Who told you about that?
- Granny and Ike.
All right, you know what? Let's do it.
- Let's have dinner together.
- Nice. Okay.
What about Il Lobsterino?
Bleeder's Steakhouse,
6:00 p.m. Thursday night.
Ooh, okay, yeah.
And I'm etching it in my memory,
because I'm writing it in my calendar.
Awesome. Well, thank you, Chief.
I look forward to dinner.
See you then.
Hey, guys.
Hey.
- Hi.
- Boom.
- You're done?
- Yeah, I just asked him.
- Oh, yeah, really?
- Yeah.
Hmm, 'cause I didn't hear any screaming.
Wait, why would I be yelling?
We're going to dinner on Thursday night.
Ahh, that's good.
What did he say, honestly, please?
Bleeder's, Thursday night, me and him.
Thanks for clueing me in, Granny.
Uh, I keep thinking about our
little trist in the bathroom.
- Mm-hmm.
- It was thrilling.
And the stuff in the
bedroom was great too.
Yeah, but doing it
in public was incredible.
I agree.
- Ooh.
- What?
- I just...
- What are...
Are you trying to kiss me on the cheek?
Yeah, well, I just thought
I was gonna go just...
Okay.
That's nice.
Okay.
Oh.
Son of a bitch.
Do you really think
that was a good idea?
Man, why does everyone keep saying that
- It was a one-time thing.
- Let me ask you something.
Did you give her your A game?
No, I gave her my C game.
Cap, are you kidding me?
That's still a lot of game.
I know. I know. I can't help it.
And plus, it would be great
to have another woman on the shift.
If you could just pull some
string and get her here,
it would be a total win-win.
And she wants to be transferred?
What? Yeah.
She doesn't like it at 27,
and I know she's love it here.
Also, she was just saying how much
she respected you as a chief.
Respected me? From what?
Well, you might not know this,
but you have a very good reputation.
And people want to work for you.
- Mm.
- Please?
It would be really nice to
have another woman here.
- Let me think about it.
- Yes.
Thank you, Dad.
I didn't say yes.
I know, but you won't regret it.
- Mwah!
- Oh, okay.
Let's keep it profesh up in here, huh?
I think I'm gonna regret it.
I feel like the devil
pissed in my throat.
It's like a river of lava
just flowing up my esophagus.
- What are you guys doing?
- Heartburn war.
Oh, yeah? Who's winning?
I would say we're all losing, Cap.
No, I put the most...
- Hey, everybody.
- Hey, Chief.
- Hey, Chief.
- Listen up.
We have a new edition to the station.
Joining us all the way from Station 27,
this is Delilah Dunn, Everyone.
- Hey, everybody.
- Oh, wow.
- Hi. Hi, hi, hi.
- Welcome, welcome.
- Yeah, so treat her well.
- Hi.
What, you guys know each other?
Yeah, we went to the Tay
Tay McVee concert together.
Chick alert.
Now, listen,
Delilah's a big fan of this station,
so we're happy to have her here.
Yeah, yeah, um, we're just really happy
to have you here, Delilah, right, guys?
Of course, yeah,
we're so excited to play
some Tay Tay McVee
nonstop in the station
all day long.
Oh, yeah, and then we're all
gonna do mud masks
and eat acai bowls, right?
- We don't eat that.
- Yeah, we don't eat frozen yogurt.
Yeah, watch out.
Women are secretly trying to
- take over your world.
- Nah, I don't think so.
If our periods sync up,
we're gonna be unstoppable.
Okay, TMI.
All right, have fun, everybody.
Get to know each other.
Hey, that syncing stuffis an urban myth.
It actually happens all the time.
And it allows women to bond
in ways men can't imagine.
Like how?
- ESP.
- Yeah, right.
- No way.
- You guys just wait and see.
Come one, Delilah,
I want to show you around the station.
Nice meeting you, guys.
- Welcome, though, Delilah, welcome.
- No, seriously.
Hey, dudes,
that syncing stuff's not true, right?
I don't know.
'Cause my mom and my sister talk about
syncing their cycles all the time
and how it affects their synergy.
I wonder if there's
anything we could sync up.
- Like what?
- Mm-mm.
Piss cycles!
Synchronize your watches, and go.
- Ahh.
- Ohh, man.
Alright. We're drinking 12 ounces of
water on the top of every hour,
no going in between.
- Okay.
- Got it.
- Hello, Captain.
- Linda.
I came to get those reports,
but I keep thinking about the bar.
Hmm, me too.
I was wondering if we should,
uh, do it again.
Name the time and the place.
How about now?
Uh, Linda, you know,
I've done some questionable
things at the station at night.
But in the middle of the day,
anybody could walk in.
Isn't that the thrill, Captain?
Mm-hmm.
- Where is he?
- He's at the Chief's luncheon.
But he could be back at any second.
In the Chief's office.
Can you imagine how
many important decisions
- are made here?
- No.
Who has all these pictures
of themselves on their desk?
Yeah, and the best part is,
they all have the same
stupid frown smile.
Mm, Terry McConky, mm-mm-mm.
- I need a new truck.
- Yeah.
Do I make myself clear?
That's an order.
- Brah-brah.
- That's an order.
- Hold up. Oh.
- What?
There goes June.
- Oh, Linda...
- You like that?
Can I, uh, get you another
Diet Coke while you wait?
Uh, sure.
I'll take advantage of the free refills.
- Oh, they're not free.
- Oh, oh, then I'll just...
Okay. Can I get you started
on something or...
- Just maybe some more bread.
- More bread?
Okay. Just bread.
I looked like a fool.
There's no way he meant to stand you up.
He'll definitely reschedule.
Well, I'm not going through
that kind of pain again.
They asked me to leave.
- Who did?
- Everybody in the restaurant.
That sucks.
Wow, Chief was playing him all along.
That was a harsh prank by Chief,
like, harsh.
See, that's why you don't mess
with those old-school firefighters.
They play hard.
It's true, man.
Mess with the bull,
you get the bananas, buddy.
Hey, D., do you have any tampons?
Things got started a little
early for me this month.
Whoa, it's happening.
I'm on my period. You synced up to me.
Wow, that was fast.
- And that makes you the beta.
- Huh?
'Cause in the wolf pack,
all the betas sync up
to the alpha's cycle.
She's dominant.
Well, I don't know about all that.
Speaking of, you need to bulk
up a little bit, little beta.
Do you want to go to the gym after this?
Sure.
Can you drive, though?
I'm a little low on gas.
My commute's, like, 20 miles,
but the traffic makes it rough.
Yeah, I'm happy to drive,
but you should think
about moving closer.
I would, but I just bought
a house two weeks ago
by my other station.
I thought I was gonna be
there a little longer.
- Ahh.
- Ooh, bad timing. Sorry.
- Sucks for me.
- Yeah...
- I'm sorry.
- Ooh, I gotta pee.
Me too.
Oh-ho-ho-ho, we did it. We synced up.
Great job, guys.
Magic time.
Eddie, can I see you in my office?
- What's the magic word?
- Now.
Huh.
Okay, what's up, Chief?
You have something you want to tell me?
Nah, don't think so.
Maybe something you
were doing in my office?
Maybe on my desk?
Oh...
Okay, maybe this will
job your memory, huh?
- Huh?
- Uh...
I found these under my desk.
I can explain those.
- Oh, you can, can you?
- Uh...
Eddie, I told you 100 times,
don't fold your laundry in my office.
Oh, yeah, well, it's just that your desk
is the perfect height
for folding clothes.
It's not a folding table, okay?
Now everything's out of place.
My pictures are facedown.
Why are my pictures facedown?
Well, that's because I
didn't like you watching me
while I was folding my laundry.
Yeah, by the way,
why are you frowning
in all these photos?
I'm not frowning in these photos.
I'm smiling in my photos.
No, you're frowning. You're frowning.
This is a smile. Those are frowns.
- That's a smile.
- Frown.
Smile, frown, smile frown.
Try going like this.
I don't use my teeth, okay?
This is what it would look like.
Okay, yeah, that's pretty hideous.
Can you not smile like a real person?
This is my smile. This is my desk.
I can put whatever damn
pictures I want on my desk.
And go fold your laundry somewhere else.
- You got it.
- So now, take that with you.
Okay, okay. Hey.
- Hey, Chief.
- What's up, Andy?
Uh, just wanted to know how
your night was last night.
Kind of boring,
watched some "Judge Janie,"
ate some Jell-O, fell asleep.
- How was yours?
- Pretty terrible.
Oh, well, better luck tonight.
I had a date last
night that stood me up,
kind of ruined my night.
Oh, shit.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I wrote it down.
I wrote it down on the calendar.
You saw me write it down, right?
- Chief...
- I... where's June?
- Where's June?
- Chief, if you...
No, June is not here. It's July. Lookit.
Someone ripped off June.
I watched a bunch of Stallone movies.
I watched "Don't, Stop!
Or my Mom will Shoot"
And I was like, "Ahh,
got to get through this whole thing
just so I can talk
about something and"...
It was a mistake. It was a mistake.
- I want to have dinner with you.
- You do?
Let's do it tomorrow night.
- How about tomorrow night? Okay?
- Yeah.
We'll write it down somewhere
where everyone can see it.
I couldn't wait to,
like, tell you, like,
"Oh, I'm your Tango," you know?
Yeah. Oh, "Tango & Cash."
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- That's one of my favorites.
What are you guys doing?
You'll be happy to know
that now that we've synced
our piss cycles we can now
read each other's minds.
Sure you can.
_
_
Okay, Andy, so I don't forget,
here we go.
- Dinner, Andy...
- Yep.
_
- _
- Tomorrow.
Won't forget that.
After the gym tonight,
you want to go to a movie?
Oh, I can't. I promised
my mom I'd go see her.
Oh, I didn't know
your mom was in Tacoma.
She's in a nursing
home on my side of town.
When I was at Station 27,
I could pop in and see her anytime.
Now that I'm over here,
it makes it a little harder.
When I get the chance,
I don't like to miss it.
I'm so sor... I'm sorry.
No, it's okay.
Now that I'm not there that much,
it's a little harder.
Oh, God.
_
_
Oh, my God. You guys can't really do it.
Oh, my God, jealous much?
Heh-heh, Timberlake, Fatone, Bass.
We're 'NSYNC, guys.
Do you guys realize that
you're actually on my cycle?
Like, that makes me the
alpha and you guys the betas.
- What?
- You guys follow me.
I don't even know
what I was doing there.
I don't gotta pee at all.
I just had to get up and
compulsively wash my hands.
I guess you guys really
didn't need to pee, huh?
Well, we could all just leave
the bathroom together, though, right?
Why? What are you talking about?
Ahh, I gotta get my beauty
sleep anyway, so...
got that big dinner with Chief tomorrow.
Yeah, we know.
Bye.
- Oh.
- Hi, Eddie.
Linda, what are you doing here?
I wanted a thrill.
Okay.
I love the danger of getting caught.
Well, where do you want to do it?
Right here.
Linda, this is, like, extremely public.
I know.
Mmm.
Are you sure I can't
interest you in a mattress?
Positive.
_
The hickory axe was a
good choice for putting.
Holy shit, it works.
I knew it.
I knew it.
Hey, what's the matter, Chief?
Delilah was on her
way to visit her mother
at the nursing home,
and she got there,
and the place was on fire.
So she went in to help,
and she never came out.
Delilah's dead.
- And, Lucy...
- Yeah, Dad?
It should have been you.
It should have been you.
It should have been you.
It should have been you.
Delilah, are you okay?
I just had the worst dream.
You died, and everyone cheered.
Anyways, good night.
I'm gonna try and dream about my mom.
Hey, what are you doing up?
Oh, can't sleep, you?
Oh, I'm just dickin' around.
Whoa, what's going on with that hair?
It's stress, Uncle Eddie.
- I messed up bad.
- I'm listening.
I lied to my dad to get him
to transfer Delilah here.
Did she want to be transferred?
Not at all, but I told him that she did.
Yeah, I'm stressed out too.
I've been having sex with Linda Price.
- Yeah, no shit.
- Well, here's the problem.
She doesn't care about me.
She just want to have
sex in public places.
Isn't that every dude's dream?
No, I don't want to be
somebody's boy toy, you know,
like a piece of thrill meat.
What are we gonna do?
I have to break up with Linda Price.
And you have to come clean with Delilah.
- No fucking way.
- No?
You want to keep not sleeping
and having your hair fall out?
All right, you're right.
I'll tell her tomorrow.
And I'll break up with
Linda Price tomorrow.
Good morning. You're up early.
Oh, yes, sir.
I'm an early riser.
You know, I've been meaning to ask you
- how things have been going.
- Oh, it's been great.
Safe to say you're
enjoying your time here
more than at Station 27?
I know you were having
some problems over there.
- Problems?
- Yeah, that's why you wanted
- to be transferred?
- Oh, I did not want to be transferred.
The crew over there is amazing.
And it was right around
the corner from my house.
So you weren't aware of this reputation
of this station or... me?
No, not really.
I just want to be a good firefighter.
Okay, well, keep it up.
You're doing a great job.
There's no question we all agree
that the municipal
structure is cost-effective
and the project is on track.
I need to talk,
but I can come back later.
Uh, first what we need to
address are safety concerns.
The safety concerns are
definitely an issue.
- What are you doing?
- We've been in ongoing consultation...
I need to talk to you
about something. Stop.
Permitting is under way, and to date
there are no code violations,
but maybe someone else
on this call can speak
to the actual safety concerns.
Hi, folks, Fire Chief
Terry McConky here.
- Hi, Chief.
- I apologize for joining late.
My calendar got a little muddled.
But I have a 15-point plan to
address the safety issues.
15 points, great. Take your time.
Number one, fire-retardant plastics.
Oh, yeah.
I know. I like
fire-retardant plastics too.
Number 14,
digital carbon monoxide meters.
- Folks...
- Thanks.
We are not in the Stone Age anymore.
Am I right?
Hey, what's up?
Delilah, I wanted to talk to you
about what's been going on here.
You don't have to apologize.
It was Chief's call.
Well, it's kind of my fault.
No, it's not. It's okay.
I'm happy to be going
back to Station 27.
What?
Yeah, Chief decided to transfer me back.
I hope you're not mad at me.
No, no, I would... I would never be mad.
Lucy, my office now.
Did you tell her everything?
No, I didn't tell her the
sinister role that you played
in upending her life for
your personal satisfaction.
- Thank, Chief.
- Eh, don't thank me yet.
You still need to learn a lesson.
- I feel like I have.
- I feel like you haven't.
So I'm transferring you.
What? You... you can't transfer me.
Yes, I can. She spent two weeks here.
So you're spending
two weeks at Station 34.
At the shit shack?!
No, Dad, please, you cannot
send me to that hell hole.
Yes, I can. I pulled some strings.
So now you're gonna
spend two lovely weeks
stationed next to the landfill
putting out dump fires.
- Dad.
- Have fun, probie.
Yum-yum-yum-yum-yum, that's good water.
You guys can have
some of this if you want.
- Oops.
- I'm not thirsty.
You know, it's totally okay for you guys
to be on my piss cycle.
I'm not on your piss cycle.
You know why? 'Cause I'm an alpha.
We're alphas.
I should probably start getting ready,
because I have dinner
with Chief tonight.
Oh, yeah, you gonna run up
that tab or what?
Yeah, all I've had all day is water.
What about you?
What are you gonna do tonight, Cap?
Okay, I'm gonna come clean.
I've been having sex with Linda Price.
- No shit.
- We saw you.
Here's the thing.
Tonight I'm ending it for real.
I'm taking control,
because I'm Eddie Penisi.
Son of a bitch.
All right, time to get ready.
Yeah, all right.
Huh.
I was just talking about you.
- I'm breaking up with you.
- What?
I need more of a thrill
than you can give me.
- What... I... I can give you?
- You're too timid.
Hold on. I'm...
We'll always have the Chief's desk.
Holy shit!
Drink some water.
_
_
_
Chief, you are a badass, man.
- Man.
- Come on.
- What did I do?
- Schooled Andy again.
- He's sitting there going...
- Ah, shit!
Oh, my God.
Andy!
That's a weird way to celebrate.