TVF Pitchers (2015): Season 1, Episode 2 - And Then There Were Four - full transcript

MOM! I don't want to get married!!!

I'm only 27. Not even old
enough to get married!

Don't "Shona beta" me!

Mummy... Mummy, don't lie to me, OK?

You don't have any Thyroid cancer!

OK wait... I'm getting another call.

Yeah... Wait! Wait!

Yeah Aarti?

Actually no. I'm still in a client meeting.

Where are you?

Oh, you've already reached?



Where?

OK. OK.

You've just reached, then?

No, no, no...

My client meeting... can be cancelled!

Yeah, I'm on my way!

Let's go.

We've to go around and
then come back here!

Come on!

Come on already!

Hi!

Sorry, I got a little late.

Hope I didn't keep you
waiting for long!

No!



Nice ambience!

Did you order anything?

Akhilesh, 2 cappuccinos!

No... I don't want to have anything!

No, no. Both are for me.

I'll drink one now, and the other
one later, once it gets cold.

These guys charge 100 bucks
extra for cold coffee!

By the way...

You look...

Quite different
from your pictures!

I know!

I'm not photogenic!

I mean...

I look good in real life!

But my pictures, don't
come out that great!

You've met guys before... like this?

Yes!

2-3 times

Me too!

6 times!!!

You know...

Since I've completed my P.G.
from IIM Indore?

Mom's had girls lined up for me to meet!

I told her, "Mom...

...I can't marry right now!...

...I want to explore the world...

...Travel with friends...

...Scuba dive...

...Sky dive"

I'm telling you... You too should
stop with this marraige shabang!

Marriage doesn't even make sense

Youngsters like us should have fun!

It's a good thing actually, that my
mom forcefully made me a profie.

Or else, we wouldn't have been on this date!

Wait a minute!

Your mom... made your...

Tinder profile?

Tinder?

You're..

Hi.

Nikita?

Nikita.

Nikita?

Nikita.

Oh...

Oh shit... shit!

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

I got confused!

It's a good thing he showed up early!

We were about to get...

WE were about to get married!

Saurabh Mandal!

I'm a marketing head in Technity.

And what do you do?

Today's Thursday?

Yes.

On Thursdays I...

...do legs!

Gym!!!

Nice... Nice

Please have a seat! Enjoy!

Enjoy!

And have fun also.

Mr. Saurabh?

Aarti?

Actually, Aarti. I wanted to clear
something first, before we start.

Mr. Saurabh, I know what you want to say.

That you've had girlfriends
before this, isn't it?

I know.

No, not really. That's not it.

How did you know that I like cappuccino?

Aarti, look...

I didn't want to come
here in the first place

It's just that my mom wanted me to be here.

You know how parents pressurize you

Your...

Your moustache is just like Anil Kapoor's!

No look, Aarti...

Actually, I can't go ahead
with this marriage!

Mr. Saurabh, I understand your reluctance!

How much sugar?

One.

Just like me!

Look, if I were to
tell you the truth...

I too, had two boyfriends before this,

And I got intimate with them, as well!

But we didn't do anything "dirty".

That I will do...

...only with my husband.

After all, I'm an Indian!

How can I forget my
roots and culture

Aarti. No doubt, you're
a very nice girl...

Panditji too, says the same

No, no. Now...

Now, I...

Mr. Saurabh, it's a yes for me.

Just...

Like the last guy...

Don't hide anything from me!

Why... What did the last one hide?

My marriage with him
had been confirmed.

But just a few days
before the engagement...

...dad got to
know that...

...he was quitting a stable
job to begin a start-up!

And the marriage got
canned, then and there.

That's when I saw your profile and...

So what, if he was going
to begin a start-up?

Why would any girl marry
a "start-up guy"?

Now... If the company doesn't do well...

Will I have to leave my household
chores and go do a job?

Tell me Mr. Saurabh?

Actually, Aarti...

This is exactly, what I
wanted to tell you about...

(TVF Pitchers Theme Song)

No laundry from tomorrow!

No maid from tomorrow!

No milk from tomorrow!

Even, no newspaper from tomorrow!

Gym membership will be cancelled!

Metros will be used instead of the car!

Electricity will be saved!

Internet speed will be
reduced from 8mbps to 1mbps!

No. No. No. No dude.

Atleast let the net speed stay!

Do you not want Jeetu, then?

If we don't save enough, how
will we ensure his salary?

Alright then. Let's reduce the
speed from 8mbps to 4mbps.

Table top-ups will be stopped!

Ordering food from
restaurants will be stopped!

Will be absolutely stopped!

Infact, all kinds of luxury expenditures
will be absolutely stopped!

What's the total?

Three thousand

Seven hundred

Twenty-five.

And adding my share to it...

Seven thousand

Four hundred

Fifty.

And how much is Jeetu's salary?

One lac

Thirty seven thousand

Five hundred.

Superb plan!

We'll save for a
year and a half...

...and shell out one month's salary!

"Alright!"

"Alright!"

Madal, what are you doing dude?

What?

What are you doing?

Music!

Loud music!

Can't hear a thing!

You carrry on!

"Alright!"

What I'm saying is...

Let's add another 50 bucks to this...

And hire some intern to do the coding.

Yogi, an intern will replace Jeetu, now?

We need people with some work
experience in our compnay!

People who've worked at some senior level!

Someone who can build a
team in the future...

Someone who can strategize!

Naveen...

Did you find that t-shirt of mine?

What t-shirt?

The 'InfoCom' one.

Where I'd an experience of 4 years?

As a Senior Consultant!

Since I'd BUILT a team there...

They'd gifted that t-shirt to me.

I don't know dude.
We're busy right now!

Shit!

Now, I'll have to strategize
what to wear!

What do we do then?

Dude, I think we're getting
a little impatient here!

I was thinking, what if...

Jeetu manages to convince Soumya!

Naveen...

She's his wife!

She gives him sex!

You can never convince a
woman who gives you sex!

Trust me.

This is all coming from experience!

Look Yogi...

Without Jeetu, we have no company.

Naveen...

We've no jobs.

We have to start a company,
with or without Jeetu.

Yogi...

What are you doing?

Did you think about it?

I'd asked you something, yesterday?

What'd you asked?

That thing...

Can I be part of your start-up?

WHAT?

WHY?

What do you mean by "Why?"?

You all are engineers!

You need an MBA!

How will you'll run a company
without business expertise?

Mandal, I'll let you know!

Give me some time.

It's a very important
professional decision!

I'll let you know, alright?
-OK

So will you send me a mail, or
you'll communicate verbally?

Should I expect a call by Friday?

I'll...

Why Friday? He's a sweet kid!

Let's do your G.D. and P.I.
today itself!

And the results tomorrow.

Personal interview, today?

Iit's already 10.
When will I prepare...

Fuck, it's 10 already?

I'm going to get killed!

What if it's 10?

'Jhalak' comes up only
at 10 in the night!

No Yogi! I've to meet Shreya. If
I get late, she'll screw me!

Haven't you told her
already, about our start-up?

Where have I met her, since so many days?

MANDAL!

Where's my face-wash dude?

The 'Kurule' medical therapy one?

Don't use that!

I used it and 4 of my pimples combined into a boil!

No dude. My face-wash!

Will you get it, or should we disqualify
you before the interview round, itself?

I was just about to go!

Dude, look...

There's this coder...

He's in the third year.

He's the son of the paternal
uncle of a mutual friend!

He's almost family!

Let's get him onboard. I assure you, he'll rock!

Look, Yogi!

A comapny's all about the people in it.

You think, any college guy
can replace Jeetu...

If that's how randomly we want to hire
people, why don't we hire Mandal as well?

Sorry to disturb your important meeting!

But I hope you take the right decision!

I also love Jeetu!

Though 3 years late, I've passed
by cheating from his answer sheet.

We definitely want him onboard.

But till the time we do not ensure
his salary, we need a coder.

I'm telling you...

Let's go meet this guy...

And let's get the fucking thing started!

OK, alright.

Let me meet Shreya for now.

After that, let's go meet this
guy, in the afternoon. OK?

How do I look?

Fair!

OK. You make a move, I'll go
meet Shreya and then catch you!

Go. Go. Go. Go.

Hello?

Naveen!!!
- Hey Shreya!

You still haven't upgraded
your internet, have you?

How are you?

You've always been and
always will be a miser!

Can you see me?

Wait a second.

I can see you now.

You can see me?

Oh God, what is that
shirt you're wearing?

Have you borrowed it
from the gardenkeeper?

Actually, his and mine shirt
size is the same. So it fit me!

By the way, his wife wears XL.
Looks like that too, will fit you!

If only you had something XL, no?

Baby, I have my heart.

My heart is so big.

OK, you should know, that I
haven't been looking for

wi-fi all over Bhutan, to
listen to all these ridicules.

Yeah, as if I asked to go to Bhutan!

Meditation is being learnt, with
Consultancy Project only as an excuse.

If it's meditation that you wanted
to learn, you could've done that

just by waking up in the mornings
to watch 'Ramdev baba' on the T.V.

Yeah, because I just love old, hairy men sweating at 6 in the morning!

Why do you think I
sleep with you, baby?

Baby, I thought you sleep
with me, because not

a lot of men, believe
in doing charity, no?

Oh, you want me to start counting
down on the charity cases?

Should we start listing your dating history, now?
-No, no, no, no...

When is my true love, by
tearing through clouds...

Landing on the grounds of
this country, we call India!

Four O'clock!

Sharp!

You're coming to
get me, right?

Ok, I've a meeting at 8 and I've
something very important to tell you.

Oh! Even I've something
very important to tell you.

OK, I'll go first. Please.
Please. Let me go first!

OK, go. As if I have a choice.

Blurt out!

Actually...

Naveen, I'm pregnant.

Very nice!

Who's child is it?

I don't know...

It could be anyone's.

It could be yours.

It could be Raghav's.
It could be Vaibhav's.

Oh, it could even be the monastery monk's.

Do you have anything important to say or are
you just eating into my internet pack?

No. No. No. I do have
something important to say.

But I'd thought, that
I'd keep it a surprise.

Should I tell you?

What? You bought handcuffs?

Yeah, but apart from that...

So!

There's this guy, who's leaving his
girlfriend and moving to Brazil.

This girl, decides to
start looking for a job.

In Brazil.

And, guess what?

She finds herself in the final shortlist.

Shreya! Wait!

...last telephonic interview is
left, but after that...

Shreya, wait.

...going to live with you in Rio, bitch!
- Wait. Wait. Wait.

Wait Shreya...

This is exactly what I wanted
to give you news about.

Tell me.

Uh...

What are you doing...

I was just about to wash them up

How much will you work, after all!

Anyway, the machine isn't workiing
and the maid hasn't come...

It hardly takes time...

I washed them...

What's the deal? Suddenly today...

It isn't really "suddenly"!

I'd cooked chicken, day before!

And last night, I'd chopped the vegetables.

In a household, if 2 people work
in unison, it becomes easy.

These days, these machines have come up...

Otherwise...

Our dads used to do it all, by hands.

Why don't you go...

Go do your prayers. I'll come,
make tea, once I'm done here.

Do you have something, to tell me?

No!

Why would you think so?

Give me.

Naveen... had called...

Yogi and Naveen have quit their jobs...

They're going to begin
their own start-up...

They were asking me... as well

You go on downstairs. I'll get done here.

So what were you saying?

What was I saying...

No...

Naveen and the guys were
asking me as well...

To quit my job and join them as the C.T.O.

But now...

This... When did you buy this?

This is an old one!

Had gotten it from my parents'.

No... I was saying... These colors
suit you... They come out very well!

So what did you say?

I said, I'll think about it...
Now things like...

...these can't just be
decided in the moment.

So I wanted to talk to
you as well, about this.

Will you be benefited, in your career?

If the start-up goes big,
then there's a benefit...

Otherwise, it's just a risk!

Well, the work will be a lot of fun...

It'll be interesting but the salary...

I think you should do it.

What?

You're not doing it right...

Give it to me!

No...

What were you saying?

I think, you should do it.

No...

You don't have any problem?

I was trying to say, that once...

...I quit my job, our plan to buy
a house will be delayed.

So, what's the hurry in buying a house?

Anyway, this is such a nice house.

There's such a big terrace!

And then the chances of your
growth, are also so much more.

I won't even
get an L.T.A.

We'll have to drop our
Mauritius trip, as well.

We'll go to Mahabaleshwar, instead.

Shalini's husband owns a resort there.

But the salary issue will still persist.

Our savings are good enough.

Anyway, it's been 5 months
since I've come to Mumbai.

I'm thinking...

...of getting a good job for myself.

How do you hang these? By clips?

I thought, you wouldn't agree to this.

I even had my flowcharts ready,
so that I could convince you!

I've only been thinking
about this, since Monday.

All the effort, went waste!

Don't worry.

None of your effort will go waste.

Anyway...

You'll have to talk to
your dad about this...

You wouldn't quit your job,
without asking him, would you?

I was asking you to do it properly!

Now I'll have to wash,
all the clothes again!

Even the maid's not come today!

...got down all the lectures, and
uploaded youporn videos, instead.

Our guy's won the IBM code
competition, twice over...

...in a row.

Legend says that he got a congratulatory
mail from Eric Schmidt, himself.

But he doesn't have random
expectations, does he?

He knows, he won't get anything
more than the basic stipend, right?

Dude, relax! He's our kid!

We'll offer him a couple of treats at
Barbeque Nation and he'll say yes!

I told him, it's an Environment
Science lecture motherf**ker...

If not proxy, should I
whoop your arse?

Is Rohan Negi's room this way?

Is he expecting you?

Yes.

Follow me!

You go to hell!

I don't want to see your face again!

You aren't satisfied only
with foreplay, are you?

You have to have this
afterplay of melodrama!

She got mad because it was strawberry.

It isn't ice-cream that you'd
get almond and pistachio flavours!

Does the uncle party, have matchsticks?

Go run to the canteen. It's time!

Uncle, give him a 100 bucks.

Give it.

Follow me!

I can't go beyond this point.

Deposit your mobiles, pendrives,
hard-disks and any other storage devices.

There's a door ahead...

Knock it.

Twice!

And then wait.

Do you smoke?

No.

Kids!

Yes?

Tell chintu, that 'Yogi bhaiyaa' is
here, to give him an internship.

Come in.

Sit.

He's in the middle of something...

Give him 75.

Minutes?

Headshots!

Despite being the class monitor, my performance
from class 6 to class 12 steadily increased...

From 72.3% to 87.8%

This goes to show...

I'm responsible...

...persistent...

...dedicated, motivated, over...

Under-rated dude!

Responsible, persistent,
motivated, dedicated, under...

Hi Shreya!

Hi Mandal!

Hi...

Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb
your paranormal powerpoint fantasy.

I'll just sneak into Naveen's room and
lock the door, so you can't come in!

No. No. No.

Actually, I was waiting for you!

Naveen'd told me that you're going to come.

In that blazer and towel?

You aren't a serial killer Mandal, are you?

Only, if looks could kill!

Please have a seat!

Actually, if I get tensed,
I need to have a bath!

Better?

Congratulations Mandal.

You've reached a new level of creepy!

Soo...

Naveen's quit his job to...

Yeah, I know. He's told me everything.

And I too, want to...

Everything!

Soo...

So?

Shreya. We're friends, aren't we?

Facebook-wise or in real life?

Joke!

Do you remember?

Last month, early morning...

You wanted a Xerox of your PAN card.

Naveen was sleeping.

So you asked me for help.

I was getting late for work...

I didn't have any change on me...

I still went and got the Xerox done.

Look, I've this one philosophy...

Friends should always help each other!

No. No. No. No. No.

One second.

You want me to convince Naveen to hire you?

No.

Sorry.

Not gonna happen.

Anyway, I can't convince him.
Instead, he'll end up convincing me!

Shreya... Trust me!

He can never convince you!

A man can never convince
a woman, who gives him...

...Love!

And if...

He doesn't budge...

You know...

Use your methods!

What methods?

Intercourse

What?

Mandal, have you gone nuts?

Just for a 1 buck Xerox...

It's actually 2 bucks. One for each side!

I'm worth much more than that!

OK? I'm sorry.

I would've helped you with anything
else, but with this, I can't! Sorry.

Naveen needs my help!

Yogi keeps winding him up against me!

I really want to be a part of this!

I know, I'm gonna regret this.

OK.

Alright.

Tell me one thing.

When do...

You call for a plumber?

That wasn't me...

Naveen thinks that I broke
his jet spray and then...

No. I mean hypothetically.

I mean...

When would anyone, call for a plumber?

One calls for the plumber
when a tap's broken.

Right. And what if a tap isn't broken?

Then why call the plumber?

Exactly!

Look.

In this situation...

You're the plumber and Naveen's
start-up doesn't have any broken tap.

Irrespective of, however great, the
work you're doing in life is...

Unless, your inclusion doesn't
solve any of their problems...

They don't need you!

See... You need to figure
out what they need.

You also need a bigger towel, dude!

No. No.

Don't shy away!

I'm wearing my underwear!

Sorry.

Not wearing any!

F**K!

F**K!

Yogi!

And...

You must be Naveen.

How are you 'chintu'? I saw you
at the threading ceremony, last.

Not 'chintu'.

Dungeon Master.

There's an underscore
between Dungeon and Master.

So...

You guys want me to work for your company.

You tell him.

We were interested in
discussing the possibilities...

I looked into your idea.

It's... quite interesting actually.

Looked into?

But, I haven't sent you any mail, as yet!

But you'd mailed NASSCOM, hadn't you?

You see...

Privacy on mail is a myth my friend!

So... If I join you guys...

How do I benefit?

What do I get?

Opportunity!

Of course, there'll also
be a stipend initially.

About... 7K.

8... 8K. Yeah.

And as we grow, your monetory
compensation will obviously increase...

Do you know what's the prize money for the
Internation Counter Strike competition?

How much?

475,000...

Dollars.

4... 4 times 6 is 24...

And you won that?

Twice!

4... 4 times 2 is 8... 8 times 6 is 48...

So theoritically... I can hire you guys.

But not the other way round.

I want 30% equity...

And... veto on product design.

Don't forget the underscore.

Mail me by Monday.

Or just save it in your drafts.

I'll read it.

I think we need Jeetu.

Do you think we need Jeetu?

We need Jeetu.

We'll have to first change the
passwords for all our accounts.

What's up, start-up founder?

Your battery looks dead
after listeninig to the deal.

What's up, entrepreneur uncle?

Pass on some stake to us as well!

Listen up Jeetu. There's no other way out.
You have to join in.

I can't join in.

Sorry.

I told you!

You can never convince a woman
who gives you sex!

Noo!

Suamya has agreed.

SO?

Ohh!

What?

Did you try talking to him?

That's all I've been able to do since I
was 1.5 years old. TRY to talk!

With whom?

Haven't you watched 'Udaan'?

Ohhhh!

Your dad?

He's alcoholic?

He's not alcoholic...

Why are you scared of your dad?
Are you still a kid?

Naveen. Even my passbook is with him.

If my salary doesn't get credited
on the 1st of the next month...

My life will get debited.

You guys, atleast, start.

I'll see. I'll try putting in a couple
of hours of work, everyday after my job.

"You guys start", "I'll see". Are you mad?

This way, even the Beta version
won't be ready in 6 months.

There's so much to do.

Excuse me!

Aren't you the guys launching the
coolest company of Indian history?

Hey! The start-up wags are here.
-Hey!

The gold-diggers are here
even before the money.

Listen, you need to get
a better CEO, though!

Don't know about the coolest, but
could be most short-lived for sure!

Don't say such bad things on
a good day like this, Jeetu.

This is for you'll.

So what's up, Jeetu?

What are you doing here?

I've come here for the interview!

Mandal, that was only a joke. There's
no interview happening.

I know. I know.

I know jokes.

I've taken improv. comedy
classes for a month.

Is this taken?
-Yes.

OK!

Don't you get it, motherf**ker?

Anyway our battery's down...

This is our shit, Madal!

We don't need you.

Trust me.

You need me!

Infact without me...

You don't have a company!

OK, go get a chair.

We'll interview you right away!

Just hear him out na, once.

Tell me.

Why should we hire you?

You know, as an MBA...

I've always had a clarity about my R&Rs.

One of my KRA has been problem...

We don't need a marketing manager.
We need a coder...

Thanks for applying. You interview's over.

No. No. No. One second.

I can solve your problem.

I can give you something, which you need.

I can give you Jeetu!

How?

Till the time, you'll
don't get an investment...

I'll pay for Jeetu's salary.

A part of it through my salary
and a part through my savings.

But I'll ensure that, Jeetu keeps getting
as much as he gets from his company.

Mandal. Why would you
do these things for us?

Not for you guys...

I'll do it for myself!

You guys are the best
friends I've ever had.

I know, apart from Naveen...

We've not interacted as much...

But I've always thought, that the
four of us are a very good team.

You know when I'd seen
'Zindagi Milegi Na Dobara'

I'd decided that...

The four of us too, just like them...

Would go on a trip.

But ZNMD had only 3 guys.

OK. Then... like 'Dil Chahta Hai'.

Again, only 3 guys, Mandal.

'Rock On' definitely had 4 guys.

The 4th one, gets cancer and dies.
Only 3 remain.

The point is, if I join your start-up...

Then Jeetu can work full-time with us.

All MBAs... are not that bad.

Soo...

Is somebody going to say something, or are
we sitting just like this for the next hour?

Don't worry, guys.

It won't be that bad.

Backstreet Boys... Alright!

Cheers!

And then there were four!

Cheers! Cheers! Cheers!

Finally, he's made himself useful!

So, Jeetu's back!

Important point - This news
doesn't get out of here!

If dad gets to know...
- Stop going "Dad. Dad."

Once we're a million dollar company,
even your dad will chill out!

And also, I've done some research and
thought of a few names for our compnay.

I think, our compnay name
should have 'le' in it!

Like Google had 'gle', Apple
has 'ple', Oracle has 'cle'

What non-sense are you talking? You've started
with your stupid marketing logics again!

Please don't throw fries on me.
I'm the marketing manager!

Oops! Sorry.

Careful! Why are you throwing it on me?

So, this is your million dollar team?