Switched at Birth (2011–2017): Season 3, Episode 22 - Yuletide Fortune Tellers - full transcript

Kathryn:
♪ deck the halls
with boughs of holly ♪

♪ fa la la la la,
la la la la ♪

♪ 'tis the season
to be jolly ♪

♪ fa la la la la,
la la la la ♪

♪ don we now
our gay apparel ♪

♪ fa la la, la la la,
la la la-- ♪

Seriously with
the christmas carols?

You have been singing them
nonstop since black friday.

I'm two seconds away
from earplugs.

It gets me in the spirit.

Besides, you have
an art studio
right out there.



It's freezing out there.

Maybe santa will bring
me a space heater.

If you're through
being a grinch,

Would you mind--
shell these for me?

It's peanut brittle time.

You know you can
buy them shelled.

No, no, no.
They have to be fresh.

- It makes a difference.
- Don't we have enough

With the 11 other kinds
of cookies you're making?

Okay, i know that i go
a little big at christmas,

But it's the first time
since we've known
daphne and regina

That they're staying with us
for the holidays, so.

Yeah, usually
they're smart enough

To get the hell
out of dodge.



Shell.

♪ fa la la la la,
la la la la. ♪

It's not too late
to change our plans,

Hit the road
like we usually do.

World's largest
ball of twine is only
200 miles away.

I definitely want
to see that one day,

But it's christmas.

I want to be with
the kennishes too.

I like the way
we do christmas--

Wake up late,
open gifts,

Sneak chinese food
into an empty movie theater.

Just promise you'll be
nice at dinner.

- Where are we going?
- Sal's.

Sal's with the garlic knots?

I thought that place
closed down.

They just reopened.

It's a christmas miracle!

- Oh, wow!
- ( giggles )

( music playing faintly )

Thank you. Oh, i don't know
if you got my email,

But we do dinner at 5:00
on the 24th.

And then after dinner,

John reads "the night
before christmas"

And then we open presents.

Presents on
christmas eve?

Just one.
The rest in the morning.

We start at 8:00.

A.M.?

Sounds great.
Right, mom?

After we open the presents,
around 11:00--

It takes three hours
to open presents?

We don't usually put
that much emphasis on gifts.

Number 62!

Still got your picture on
the wall 'round here somewhere.

Hey, sal.
So glad you reopened, buddy!

How's everything?
Can i get you anything else?

All:
More garlic knots!

Those things are magic.
I can't get enough.

Daphne and i have
a few traditions of our own.

We like to go to a movie
on christmas, sneak in
some chinese take-out.

Now that sounds like fun.
I'm in!

Wait. That's when
we do kennish karaoke.

You know,
in the afternoon.

Maybe we could do a movie
on the 26th.

Daphne can't
really do karaoke...

It's okay.
I don't mind.

...And i hate to sing,
so i think maybe we're out.

Mom, it's okay to shake
things up a little bit.

I don't think
it's too much to ask

To take a break
for a few hours from
your schedule.

Kathryn:
That's when the neighbors
do the cookie exchange.

Regina:
So exchange the cookies
another time.

Okay, you guys were the ones

Who wanted to join us
for the holidays.

It's the way we've
always done things.

I have to go
to the ladies' room.

Regina--

I don't get it.
What does chinese food
have to do with christmas?

Bay:
Come on, mom.
What is with you?

You're like
a cruise director

On the boat
to christmas hell.

It's one christmas.
And then we can go back
to doing it your way.

My way?
It's our way.

I've always wanted to have
the kind of christmas

That you see in the movies.

Why can't we have that
just one time?

You know what?

You can.

Have a good time
with the kennishes.

Mom!

Well, that was
a disaster.

Tell me about it.

One last garlic knot.
You girls want it?

Split it?

Thanks.

You have to admit,
life would be a lot easier

If we had never
been switched.

I was just thinking
the same thing.

Toby's right,
these are magic.

( music playing )

♪ i love the way ♪

♪ you keep me warm ♪

♪ i hope you know ♪

♪ at half past 12 ♪

♪ meet me under... ♪

( unaccented )
hello?

Whoa.

♪ i think you're sweet ♪

Merry christmas.

Merry christmas!

Where's the squirrel tree?

Everything's
so different.

( clock ticking softly )

( dishwasher whirring )

Kathryn:
Well, the day after christmas

Is the second-busiest
shopping day of the year.

Annie can take
a vacation then.

Yes.
Call me back.

Are you okay?

You're not gonna believe this,
but...

I can hear.

Hear what?

And what are you doing
with your hands?

Signing.

Oh. Good for you.

I have to go.

No, no, please don't leave.

I'm kind of freaking out here.

I'm sorry. I have a meeting.

Oh, and bay,

There's only yogurt
in the fridge.

Your father
hasn't gone shopping.

"bay?"

( silent )

John:
You're late.

- John.
- I may be your coach,

But you can still
refer to me as "dad."

Okay, look, we--
we talked about this.

We're not letting up
over the holidays.

You've got to run three miles
on the river trail.

After that, drills the rest
of the morning.

Olympic trials
are in two weeks, okay?

That's what
i'm talking about.

Future gold medalists
cannot afford to take a day off.

- Let's go.
- I'll go get ready.

- Where are you going?
- The guesthouse.

You mean
your mom's office?

Wait, if that's
kathryn's office,
then where's regina?

Who the hell is regina?
Come on, let's go.

( music playing loudly)

Hello?

- Hey!
- Oh, hi!

Why are you playing it
so loud?

( loudly )
because i can't
hear anything.

And that wouldn't
bother you unless...

I can.

How did you know
where to find me?

Well, this is the house
i grew up in.

I think that you're me.

Regina called me daphne.

Kathryn called me bay.

We've switched places?

But wait.
Then wouldn't you

Be in the guesthouse
right now?

You're right.

If i'm in east riverside,

That means...

The switch
never happened.

I can't believe my mom
had another kid.

Awesome room.

Face me, please.
I can't read your lips.

Sorry. Your signing
is amazing, by the way.

It is.
I guess i'm the one

Who got meningitis
when i was three.

Hm... Oh!

Try those.
They should help a little.

Ah!

How do i sound?
Do i have an accent?

No. You must've had
a lot of speech therapy.

Ah. Huh.

How do you like
being deaf?

How do you like
being hearing?

I had no idea

That refrigerators
made noise.

And kathryn's voice?
( sighs )

It's not at all
what i expected.

The whole thing's
a little jarring.

Ditto.

How's my mom?

Well, she owns
her own hair salon.

How are my parents?

Well...

Kathryn is
a face cream mogul

And john is a stay-at-home
soccer dad.

- So--
- what's the deal?

I mean,
do we go with this?

Or should we tell someone?

Maybe see a doctor?
I don't know.

Well, the thing is

Apparently,
i have a show

At the templeton gallery.

Good for you.

I'm an olympic hopeful.

- This could be fun, right?
- Absolutely.

- Good workout?
- Hey, you know,
i was thinking

Maybe later we could do
some kennish karaoke.

We haven't done
that in years.

Since when do you
like to sing?

There's a first time
for everything.

Toby:
Hello? Anybody home?

Hey.

Whoa.

So how was your flight?
How was seattle?

Fine. Good.

Ah, look at that.
You've got a new tattoo.

Well, i think it's great,
but can you keep it covered up
for the next few days

Until i find a way
to tell your father?

I don't need john's
approval for my ink
or for anything else.

Can you not
be like this?

John!

Start the clock,
little sis.

'cause mom's annual
holiday guilt trip

Has got a 72-hour
expiration date.

Hey, c'mon.
What's the rush?

You took too many
soccer balls to the head?

Even the brand-new guitar
i know is under the tree

Can't hide john's
thinly-veiled disappointment.

Come on.
He's not that bad.

Well, i see you're
still using your mom's
beauty products.

It's good to see
you too, john.

Bay, ready for
some wind sprints?

She just worked out.

Yes, i'm aware
of that, kathryn.

Olympic medalists
don't just work out once

And sit on their butts
the rest of the day.
It's crunch time.

But then again,
why am i explaining that

To someone who works
90 hours a week?

Don't do that.
Don't pit bay against me.

John:
I'm not pitting her
against anybody.

Kathryn:
I have news for you:
Bay may win a gold medal,

But that does not
change the fact

That you were one-and-out
with the royals.

Let me explain
something to you.

I could've gone
back to rehab,

I could've gotten
back out there.

But who would've
taken care of the kids?

Someone needed to get a job,

Otherwise we'd be
living on the streets.

- You have no idea--
- do you think i like
working this hard?

You know i wanted to stay home
with the kids and write books.

( john scoffs )
like that was ever
gonna happen.

I'll see you outside.

Ta-da!

Wow, you've really
outdone yourself.

I have never been
so focused.

Being deaf
has its advantages.

Not exactly christmas
at rockefeller center.

Hey, it's scrappy,

Just like us.

What if we made
our own tree?

Right here would be perfect.

On our living room wall?

Anybody can buy a tree,

But who else has
multi-colored branches
and pointillist stars?

- ( cell phone buzzes )
- oh!

Uh, could the festivities
start in like an hour?

Emmett needs me
for something.

Of course. I can put on
a coat of primer.

It'll be ready
by the time you get back.

Awesome.
Can't wait.

( silent )

( music playing )

Hey. What's up?

Can we go?

♪ just me and you ♪

♪ da-doo da-doo ♪

♪ let's make it christmas eve ♪

♪ for two ♪

Okay.
It's a little avant-garde,

But i can get on board.

( angelo speaking french
on video )

Angelo, put the camera away.

The kids want
to open their gifts.

Angelo: Okay.

( angelo speaks french )

Au revoir.

One, two, three...
The winner!

( laughing )

Hey.

What the hell?
You let her drink?

I wasn't here.
I was with emmett.

I'm sorry. I didn't
know about this.

I'll get some paint
out of the garage.

We'll cover it up
so she's not embarrassed
in the morning.

Bay:
This is unbelievable.

Apparently the only time
emmett and i have been
naked together,

Rubber duckies
were involved.

I'm telling you,
j and k are about
10 minutes away

From a very conscious
uncoupling.

There's one more thing:

Regina's drinking.

Oh no. Again?

I don't think
she ever stopped.

Think about it.

She got sober
after she found out
about the switch.

If that
never happened?

What is
happening there?

'sup? I'm tobias.

What's with the hand stuff?

This is my friend daphne.
She's deaf.

Whoa. You--

You don't hear anything?

That's--
that's profound.

Well, i'm gonna
hit up the goodwill,

See what they got
on vinyl.

Oh, that was weird.

We've got to get out of this
as soon as possible.

What do they do
in the movies?

We need to, like,
split a fortune cookie

Or snap a wishbone
or something.

The garlic knots!

- Huh?
- From sal's!

Don't you remember?
You and i were talking

About how much easier
life would be

If the switch
never happened.

And we split
the garlic knot!

Toby said
they were magic.

So we have to go back
and do it again.

It's christmas eve.

He's probably closed.

I have an idea.

This was your great idea?

I was sure
they would have

Some old garlic knots
in here.

Why don't we just wait

For sal's to reopen
after christmas?

I think
it'll be too late.

A christmas miracle
in january?

If it's a christmas miracle
that undid the switch,

Then we need
to recreate the moment--

Like, get our families
together again and wish it back.

Really wishing
i'd watched

More of those
stupid movies with my mom.

Man:
Ho ho ho!

Are you--?

It's me. Sal. I dress up
for the grandkids.

You girls lose
something?

We ate some garlic knots
the other night.

Now we've
switched places.

Not exactly.
We were switched before,

And now we're not switched.
Do you have any more?

Sorry.
Gave all the leftovers
to the homeless shelter.

And girls...

The knot's not
your answer.

No, it is! It is!

Don't you have the recipe?

Maybe we could
just make it ourselves.

- I'm telling you--
- sal, please!

All right.
Wait here.

This is perfect.
We'll just make 'em ourselves.

But if you're right,

And we only have one night
to make this happen,

How are we going to
get our families together?

Regina:
Why on earth would i want
to spend christmas eve

In snooty mission hills?

She's my new friend.

- Who?
- Bay kennish.

She was nice enough
to invite us over.

We have to go.

Wait, kennish?

Any relation
to john kennish?

Yes! Yes! That's her dad.

You could meet him.

Isn't he the one
who's married to--

Kathryn kennish.

Of kathryn kennish
cosmetics.

She's a big deal
in the beauty industry.

Who cares?
Can we go?

It's a buckner program.

Adopt a needy family
for the holidays.

Toby: I'm with mom.
Things are awkward enough
around here on christmas eve

Without a bunch
of strangers around.

Well, they're not
exactly strangers.

Daphne's that friend
of mine

Who's been teaching me
sign language.

The one i met?

Yeah.
Mom...

Every year you say
you want to do more
for charity,

Not just give money.

She's right, mom.

It's time the kennishes
start giving back.

Okay, fine.
Have them here at 7:00.

Hi! I'm so happy
you guys could make it.

They're here!

I'm...

Bay.

Nice to meet you.

This is my dad john,

My mom kathryn,
and my brother toby.

Mr. Kennish,
it's an honor to meet you.

Angelo sorrento, jr.

Oh. Hey, angelo.
That's a great name.

I'm a huge fan,

I've never met
a professional athlete before.

Angelo, why don't you
come with me?

I can show you
a couple of things
from my royals' days

You might appreciate.

It's nice to meet you.

( shouting )
thank you!

Merry christmas!

No matter how loud
you yell,

She still can't hear you.

Just make sure you face her

And talk normal--

Not too fast,
not too slow.

Sorry.

It's okay.
Everybody does it.

- You have a lovely home.
- Thank you.

I was just going to
go inside and open a bottle
of sauvignon blanc.

You got any scotch?

Yeah, of course.
Let's go inside, come on.

( christmas music playing )

Oh, please don't start
drinking on me.

Oh, it's regina's.

I grabbed it when
she set it down.

Ah, good thinking.
Okay, here.

- Bay: Start rolling this.
- Okay.

Mm...

It's not working.

Ah, we need
to put flour down.

♪ ...Joyful and triumphant ♪

♪ oh, come ye
oh, come ye ♪

Apparently i rock at this.

What is going on?
I can only cook
when i'm deaf?

Maybe you were too busy
killing it on the soccer field?

And you grew up with angelo,
who's amazing in the kitchen.

Oh crap.

We have to drizzle truffle oil
on the garlic knots

When they come
out of the oven.
I forgot the truffle oil.

We've gotta have
every single thing right.

What are we gonna do?

I'll text emmett.
He owes me a favor.

( regina laughing )

Oh, you have to tell me
how you launched

Your own skin care line.

Your products are amazing.
I must have tried them all.

It's not that exciting.

I just saw a need
in the marketplace

And i filled it.

So what is it that you do?

- I own a salon.
- Oh.

We're small, but we have
a loyal customer base.

I mean, it's nothing compared
to what you've accomplished.

I've been in
the beauty industry

Since i was 21.
It's in my bones.

So if you were ever
looking for an associate
to help you out...

I thought you said
you owned a salon.

I do, but...

Business hasn't been
so great, actually.

We're shutting our doors
after the holidays.

So the thing is--

I'll keep you in mind
if we get an opening.

Ah. Got it.

Kathryn:
I, uh, have to check
on the appetizers.

♪ i wanna wish you
merry christmas ♪

♪ and a happy new year ♪

What do you think
you're doing?

I just think
that you should...

Take it easy,
that's all.

You don't know
anything about me.

And from the looks
of your cushy life,

You don't know
anything at all.

You're right.
I'm sorry.

It's okay.
I get it.

I used to do
the same thing
with my dad.

You did?

Yeah.
He was a big drinker...

Especially
around the holidays.

It got to the point
where my mom and i

Would just go to a movie
on christmas day

Just to get
out of the house.

It was the only thing
i ever really liked
about christmas.

- I never knew that.
- How could you?

I can't believe
i just told you all that.

I'm gonna go
check on a.J.

Oh--
i made a lot of food.

We don't need any more,
but thank you.

I can understand you.

And i'm happy to do it.

Do you want to help?

Oh, no.
No, no, i--

I don't cook.

You don't cook?

Can i tell you a secret?

I bought the entire
christmas dinner

At whole foods.

I used to make a big deal
about christmas.

12 kinds of cookies
and homemade peanut brittle.

But no one seemed to care.

And now i'm just
too busy.

I bet they did care.

They just didn't show it.

Um...

♪ hold me tight
on christmas night ♪

♪ this year ♪

Living in silence
must be...

Amazing.

Yeah. It has
its good points.

I've been thinking about
taking a vow myself.

There's this 30-day
program in india.

Uh-huh.

That would be
a vow of silence,

Not deafness.

This is gonna
sound crazy,

But i feel...

This connection
to you...

Like we were meant
to be together.

I'm only in town
for a few days,

But there's this cool
teahouse nearby--

- ( cell phone vibrates )
- ooh! ( laughs )

That was my phone,
it vibrated.

I got a text message.
Ah, see?

Text, and there's--
( clicks tongue )

♪ hold me tight
on christmas night ♪

♪ this year ♪

So what is it?
Am i too east riverside?

Okay, this is ridiculous.

I invite you
into my home

On christmas eve,

We adopt you
for the holidays

And now you're
hitting me up for a job?

Adopt us?

My daughter said
you invited us because
our girls were friends.

- Hey, guys, guys.
- We don't need
to be adopted.

- I'll be adopted by them.
- A.J.!

- You know what?
- What?!

Could you please
hold on five minutes?

Just five more minutes.

Fine.

( scoffs )

Mom...

Hey, sorry to interrupt,
hi, emmett.

This is daphne.
No wait. I'm daphne.

This is bay. I'm teaching
her sign language.

Okay, yeah, so, uh...
Things are starting to get
a little bit crazy in there.

So if we're gonna do this,
we need to do it now.

We've overstayed
our welcome.

- Wait!
- John: Bay, i really think
it's best we let them go.

Who's ready
for some garlic knots?

You have to try one.
They're magic.

- What are you doing?
- It's now or never.

Both:
I wish we'd been
switched at birth!

Excuse me?

What did you two
just say?

Nothing happened.

Daphne paloma sorrento,
go and get your coat.

We'll be waiting
in the car.

A.J.?
Excuse me.

♪ a snowflake fell ♪

♪ and came to see ♪

♪ his crystal bones ♪

♪ and filigree ♪

Hi, daphne.

♪ he said every
snowflake's different ♪

Bay is not here.
She just left.

- You might be able to catch--
- it's okay.

I came to see you.

Oh.

I'm really sorry
that we ruined

Your christmas eve
last night.

Oh. No, honey.
You didn't.

♪ above the rooftops ♪

For me?

♪ as long as we're together ♪

♪ things will
turn out right ♪

♪ they held
each other closer ♪

Is this for...

Making peanut brittle?

And you brought peanuts
in the shell.

It makes a difference.

Come on in.

♪ we were cut
from the same paper ♪

♪ that was folded
long ago ♪

♪ so before we hit
the ground and turn to snow ♪

( knocks on door )

♪ won't you melt
into my arms ♪

♪ before we go... ♪

Hi. Um, daphne just
ran off somewhere.

That's okay.

Look, i know we don't
know each other well,

But i just wanted to say
i'm sorry for last night.

No, no, i'm the one
who's sorry.

I shouldn't have hit
your mom up for a job...

And i definitely shouldn't
have drank so much.

It's just tomato juice.
I swear.

I came to tell you--

I knew someone once...

Someone i was close to...

She went through
a really hard time...

But she kicked it.

She got sober.

I'm sure
that you could too.

I'm sure your kids
would be there for you.

Thank you.

And, um,
i brought something.

I thought maybe we
could watch it together.

Don't you have
some fancy christmas thing

At your parents' house?

Yeah, but i'd
rather do this.

I'm sorry,
i don't have any food.

Oh, that's okay.
Maybe we could order
some chinese?

Wait for daphne to come back?
Could be fun.

Might be.
Come on in.

( off-key )
la la la.

Yes!

( clock chiming )

Oh, i am so happy
to see your chipmunk-y
little faces.

- Merry christmas.
- Hi!

Hi.

The whole perfect-kennish-
christmas thing

Makes me feel like
you were cheated

Out of this
storybook life--

Like you somehow drew
the short straw

Because you got stuck
with the single mom--

Mom.

I love our christmases.

Really?

Really.

Okay.

- Morning.
- Mommy!

"mommy?"

- Is it christmas?
- Yes.

Okay, i wanna make
gingerbread pancakes

And then i want you to sing
christmas carols all day long.

Oh, and baking!
I want to bake!

Honey, stop, please.
I know that you and i are
really, really different.

We always have been.
I love all this stuff
and you don't.

I need to stop
forcing it on you.

Mom, i love
every single thing

About our christmases.

That's not
entirely true,

But every family
has a little crazy.

And if i have
to have crazy,

I prefer your crazy
over anyone else's.

Come here, honey.

( door opens )

- Hi. Hi.
- Merry christmas!

There's some
moo shu pork,

Some vegetable
chow mein,

And a whole lot
of egg rolls

Being delivered
any minute.

So...

Kathryn.
Thank you.

So much.

Ho ho ho.

Let's open some presents,
all right?!

Yes!

Hey, did those garlic knots
do anything weird to you?

Because i had the strangest
dream last night.

Me too!

Me too!
Um...

- You and i--
- oh, no.

Were, um--
oh, it was so weird.

We were skydiving!

( gasps )
skydiving!

Skydiving is good!

John:
Toby, bay,

So tell them about
the christmas

When your mom set me
on fire.

- Kathryn: No, no, no, no, no.
- What?!

I did not set him on fire!

- John: What are
you talking about?
- Well... Just accidentally.

So we're at
the candlelight service...

And everyone is singing
"silent night"...

John:
And, you know, they're
passing the flame

From person to person...

And mom hands it to dad

And accidentally just...

- Both: Whoosh!
- No!

- ( gasps )
- up my arm,
down my back,

Down the other arm,
and i'm like, "ahhh!"

And then all of a sudden,
the flames-- gone.

- What?
- Because the sweater

- Was flame retardant.
- ( all laugh )

It was awesome.
You should've seen it.

I can't believe
we missed all these
christmases together.

We're together now.

♪ have yourself
a merry little christmas ♪

♪ let your heart
be light ♪

♪ from now on,
our troubles ♪

♪ will be out of sight... ♪

- Your turn.
- That's beautiful.

( kathryn laughs )

♪ have yourself
a merry little christmas ♪

♪ make the yuletide gay ♪

Both:
♪ from now on ♪

♪ our troubles
will be miles away... ♪

Your turn.

♪ here we are
as in olden days ♪

♪ happy golden days
of yore ♪

All:
♪ faithful friends
who are dear to us ♪

♪ gather near to us ♪

♪ once more... ♪

- Oh, no.
- No.

Toby:
Come on.

( discordant )
♪ through the years,
we all will be together ♪

♪ if the fates allow ♪

♪ hang a shining star ♪

♪ upon the highest bough ♪

All:
♪ and have yourself ♪

♪ a merry little
christmas ♪

♪ now. ♪

( laughing )

- Oh.
- ( all cheer )

♪ ♪