Switched at Birth (2011–2017): Season 1, Episode 24 - The Intruder - full transcript

- PREVIOUSLY ON
"SWITCHED AT BIRTH"...
- ISN'T IT FANTASTIC?

- FOUR AND A HALF STARS.
- All: WHAT?!

I THOUGHT THAT WHEN
THE BOOK WAS DONE...

- THINGS WOULD GO BACK
TO THE WAY THEY WERE.
- YEAH.

THIS ISN'T THE END.
IT'S THE BEGINNING.

SCENE FOUR, TAKE FIVE.
MARKING.

AND ACTION!

- BEHIND YOU.
- ( shouts )

THE LAW SAYS THAT
I HAVE TO ACCOMMODATE YOU
TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY,

SO IF YOU WANT
TO STAY, GO WASH DISHES.
CAN'T DO MUCH DAMAGE THERE.

YEAH, I'D SAY SLEEPING
WITH MY BROTHER'S GIRLFRIEND



IS NOT HANDLING THINGS RIGHT!

I JUST HAVE NEVER UNDERSTOOD
THE OBSESSION WITH MARRIAGE
AS AN END GAME.

- IT'S A PIECE OF PAPER.
- Judge: I ORDER MR. SORRENTO

- RETURNED TO ITALY.
- ( gavel bangs )

I JUST THOUGHT THAT WE HAD
SOME KIND OF FUTURE TOGETHER.

- I'M SO SORRY.
- WILL YOU TAKE THIS MAN TO BE
YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED HUSBAND?

I-- I WILL.

* THEY START TO PLAY

* IT SHAKES THE FLOOR

* IT STINGS YOUR EARS,
BUT THIS IS WHAT WE TRADE
OUR HEARING FOR *

* THE CROWD STANDS STILL

* AND NO ONE'S MOVING,
THEY'D JUST RATHER STAND *

* AND WAIT UNTIL SOMEONE
STARTS TO MOVE *

* SOMEONE STARTS TO MOVE



* SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE,
IT'S ALL WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT *

* BREAK IT UNTIL
YOU KNOW KNOW KNOW *

* YOUR ONLY MISTAKE IS
IF YOU STAND STILL... *

( vibrates )

* IT'S ONLY UP TO YOU

* IT'S ONLY UP TO YOU

* IT'S ONLY UP TO YOU.

- ( laughs )
- ( phone chimes )

- HELLO.
- HELLO.

YES, THAT'S RIGHT.

THIS IS ME BRANCHING OUT

FROM GRILLING SLABS OF MEAT
AND CHILI OVER AN OPEN FLAME.

THIS IS CALLED
SHRIMP ETOUF.

ETOUFFEE.

MMMM!

- SO GOOD!
- THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

- ( chuckles )
- MMM.

HEY, DAD,
YOU KNOW YOUR RECORD

FOR MOST DOUBLES
IN A SINGLE SEASON?

I CERTAINLY DO.
71 DOUBLES, MY YOUNG FRIEND.

- WHY DO YOU ASK?
- ESTEBAN ALVARADO IS
CREEPING UP ON IT.

- IS THAT THE CATCHER
FROM THE INDIANS?
- REALLY?

- HOW MANY DOES HE HAVE?
- 68.

68.

BUT, I MEAN, YOU KNOW,

THERE'S ONLY LIKE 14 GAMES
LEFT IN THE SEASON.

YEAH, IT'S--

- ( door opens )
- HEY, HAVE YOU GUYS
SEEN MY MOM?

I GOT A TEXT FROM HER
THAT SAID TO COME HOME.

UH, YEAH, ME TOO.

- WHAT'S GOING ON?
- ( car door closes )

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
- I THOUGHT THE JUDGE SAID
HE HAD TO LEAVE

- IMMEDIATE--
- WE GOT THE NECESSARY
DOCUMENTATION

FOR ANGELO TO STAY
IN THE COUNTRY.

ANGELO CAN STAY.

- FOR HOW LONG?
- AS LONG AS YOU WANT.

- John: HOW DID
YOU PULL THAT OFF?
- YOU GOT A GREEN CARD?

WE WENT BACK TO THE JUDGE
WHO GRANTED ANGELO

A STAY OF THE REMOVAL ORDER
WHEN WE TOLD HER THAT...

WE WANTED TO GET MARRIED.

- ( gasps )
- YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED?!

- WE ALREADY DID.
- WE HAD TO DO IT IMMEDIATELY.

THIS MARRIAGE IS
STRICTLY ON PAPER.

NOTHING IS
GOING TO CHANGE.

- CONGRATULATIONS?
- YEAH.

( laughs )

WERE YOU DRUNK?

AT LEAST THEN I COULD
UNDERSTAND THIS.

HE WAS GOING TO BE KICKED OUT
OF THE COUNTRY FOR GOOD.

BAY WAS HYSTERICAL.
I HAD TO DO SOMETHING.

I AM SO SORRY I CAN'T SIGN THIS
AND I WANTED TO TELL YOU BEFORE,

BUT I THOUGHT I SHOULD
TELL EVERYONE AT ONCE.

- SO WHAT HAPPENS NOW?
- HE FINDS AN APARTMENT.

WE HAVE OUR IMMIGRATION
INTERVIEW AND THAT'S IT.

- THAT'S IT?
- MM-HMM.

- NOW HE'S GOT YOU
BREAKING THE LAW FOR HIM.
- MA!

WE ARE NOT ROBBING BANKS.

MY BOSS GOT HIS CITIZENSHIP
BY MARRYING A LESBIAN
IN NASHVILLE.

AND IF THOSE TWO CAN GET
THROUGH THEIR INTERVIEW,
WE'LL BE JUST FINE.

WHAT KIND OF QUESTIONS
DO THEY ASK?

I WAS GOING
TO ASK HIM ABOUT THAT.

WELL, MAYBE I CAN FIND
SOME STUFF ABOUT IT ONLINE.

THANK YOU

- FOR HANDLING THIS SO WELL.
- ( sighs )

WELL, THEY'RE LYING
TO THE GOVERNMENT

AND IF WE GO ALONG
WITH IT, SO ARE WE.

YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST--
LOOK,

IT'S A DONE DEAL, KATHRYN.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

YOU WANT TO REPORT THEM
TO IMMIGRATION?

AND WHAT ARE
WE TELLING THE KIDS?
THAT'S IT OKAY TO CHEAT?

- IT'S OKAY TO PRETEND
YOU'RE MARRIED?
- ( chimes )

UH, NO, WE'RE NOT SAYING--
LOOK, I THINK WHAT WE DO

IS WE SUCK IT UP FOR BAY,
BECAUSE BASICALLY

IT'S THE SAME DEAL
AS IF ANGELO HAD GOTTEN
HIS GREEN CARD.

- ( chimes )
- WHAT IS THAT?

OH, IT'S JUST
AN ALERT I'VE GOT

- EVERY TIME ALVARADO
COMES UP TO BAT.
- ( chimes )

- BUT IT'S NOT IMPORTANT.
- AND WHAT ABOUT REGINA?

FIRST SHE'S WITH ANGELO,
THEN SHE'S NOT WITH ANGELO,

THEN SHE'S WITH PATRICK,
NOW SHE'S MARRIED TO ANGELO.

I MEAN, YOU'RE OKAY
WITH ALL THAT?

- WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?
- I DON'T KNOW.

- ( chimes )
- ( sighs )

( school bell rings )

- WHAT DID YOU SAY TO REGINA?
- NOTHING.

SHE JUST IMPULSIVELY DECIDED
TO GET MARRIED ON HER OWN?

SHE SAYS IT WASN'T
THAT BIG OF A DEAL.

TELL THAT TO THE VEIN
IN MOM'S FOREHEAD.

DID YOU HEAR J AND K
FIGHTING LAST NIGHT?

OKAY LOOK, I'M HELPING
ANGELO FIND AN APARTMENT;

WE'LL DO OUR FATHER-DAUGHTER
BONDING OVER THERE.
HE WON'T BE AROUND.

MOM'S FOREHEAD'S GOING
TO GO BACK TO NORMAL.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

HEY, KENNISH,
GET IN ON THIS.

- WHAT'S THAT?
- LOOK WHO MADE IT
ON THE SLUTSCORE.

CHECK OUT THOSE COMMENTS.
HA, THEY'RE BRUTAL.

- PAYBACK REALLY IS A BITCH.
- REAL CLASSY, GUYS.

Boy:
COME ON, KENNISH,
IT'S A JOKE.

YOU KNOW, MAN, SIMONE JUST
GIVES IT AWAY AND SHE'S
STILL GOT YOU WHIPPED.

- THAT'S SAD.
- DOUCHE.

( guys mutter, laugh )

( car arrives )

HEY.

SO I REALIZED
I NEVER SAID THANK YOU.

OH, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO THANK ME.

I WASN'T SURE WHAT
YOU GET YOUR BIO-MOM

FOR MARRYING YOUR BIO-DAD
SO THAT HE DOESN'T GET DEPORTED

AND IT WASN'T EXACTLY LIKE
YOU GUYS HAD A REGISTRY,

BUT CONGRATULATIONS.

( gasps )
IT'S GORGEOUS.

IT'S OBSIDIAN.
I FOUND IT IN THE GALAPAGOS,

BUT DON'T TELL ANYONE THAT
BECAUSE IT'S ILLEGAL TO REMOVE
ANYTHING FROM THE ISLAND.

WHICH MAKES IT
THE PERFECT GIFT
FOR A SHAM MARRIAGE.

( laughter )

- BUT SERIOUSLY, THANK YOU.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.

I'M GOING APARTMENT HUNTING
WITH HIM THIS AFTERNOON.

- GOOD!
- YEAH, I LOOKED UP
A FEW LISTINGS,

YOU KNOW THAT
GLASS BUILDING ON PARK,
IT'S LIKE A MILE AWAY?

ROOFTOP DECK,
KILLER VIEW.

IT MIGHT BE A LITTLE
PRICEY FOR ANGELO--

I MEAN, BEING IN DETENTION
AND ALL THE LEGAL BILLS.

GOOD POINT.
I SHOULD HAVE
THOUGHT OF THAT.

I'LL LOOK FOR SOME MORE.

AND I'D BETTER GO SO YOU CAN
TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND
ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND.

- HEY.
- HEY.

GOT YOUR MESSAGE.
WHAT'S UP?

- ( siren blaring )
- ( kids playing )

IT ISN'T SO BAD.

I'M NOT SURE I NEED
THIS MUCH SPACE.

MAYBE SOMETHING
A LITTLE BIT MORE COZY.

WHAT IS
YOUR BUDGET EXACTLY?

HONEY, IT WILL BE BETTER
ONCE I START WORKING.

OH, I COULD HELP WITH THAT.
I COULD, UM...

WHAT IS IT
THAT YOU DO AGAIN?

IT'S LIKE
MUSIC STUFF, RIGHT?

I DID,
BUT I WAS THINKING OF

GETTING BACK INTO CARPENTRY.

ALWAYS BEEN GOOD
AT FIXING THINGS.

THAT'S COOL.

( helicopter passing )

HOW DID YOU EXPECT ME
TO REACT?

YOU SAID IT YOURSELF--
MARRIAGE IS JUST
A PIECE OF PAPER.

YEAH, BUT BETWEEN
YOU AND ANOTHER MAN
WHO YOU HAVE A KID WITH?

YOU DIDN'T THINK
THAT WOULD AFFECT US?

IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING.
IT'S JUST FOR LEGAL REASONS.

CALL ME OLD-FASHIONED,
BUT I'M NOT SURE HOW I FEEL

ABOUT DATING A WOMAN
WHO'S TECHNICALLY STILL
ON HER HONEYMOON.

PATRICK, COME O--

PAT--

OH GROSS.

- DO WE HAVE A LOST AND FOUND?
- YOU KNOW, IN SOME CULTURES,

FINDING A RETAINER IS GOOD LUCK.
FIVE BUCKS IF YOU TRY IT ON.

10 IF IT FITS.

( gasps )
OHH!

OH AHH.

- YOU CUT YOURSELF.
- YEAH, THAT WAS A WICKED
SHARP KNIFE.

YOU KNOW WHAT?
ALL RIGHT, C'MERE, C'MERE.

IF YOU TAKE A BAND-AID
FROM THE FIRST AID KIT,

THE ENTIRE KITCHEN'S GOING
TO KNOW YOU MESSED UP.

NEVER LET THEM
SEE YOU BLEED.

- PERFECTO.
- THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME.
OH, YOU SHOULD ALSO KEEP
A STASH IN YOUR KIT.

YEAH, IF I EVER
GET OFF DISHWASHER DUTY
AND I NEED A KIT.

I'M DYING TO GET BACK
TO REAL FOOD,

NOT JUST THE MASHED-UP
REMNANTS OF IT.

LOOK, DAPHNE,
YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE
WASHING DISHES FOREVER.

- OKAY?
- HEY, CAN I
ASK YOU SOMETHING?

- MM-HMM.
- I HAVE THIS IDEA
FOR THE NEW MENU

THAT I THOUGHT
I COULD PITCH TO CHEF--

OH, EAGERNESS IS GOOD,

BUT AROUND HERE
YOU DON'T GET PROMOTED
FOR THE JOB YOU WANT.

YOU GET PROMOTED
FOR THE JOB YOU DO.

THEN I GUESS I'D BETTER BE
THE BEST DAMN DISHWASHER
IN THE WORLD.

- YEAH.
- ( laughs )

OH MY GOD.

WE SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN
OUR STORIES STRAIGHT.

RELAX, GINA, WE DON'T HAVE
TO MAKE UP A STORY,

BECAUSE WE LIVED IT.
WE JUST TELL THE TRUTH.

WHAT IF THEY ASK
HOW YOU PROPOSED?

- ( door opens )
- Man: REGINA VASQUEZ?

- YEAH.
- COME WITH ME, PLEASE.

- WE'LL BE INTERVIEWING
YOU FIRST.
- OKAY.

EUREKA FALLS.

HEY, I JUST WANTED
TO THANK YOU

FOR DEFENDING ME AGAINST
THAT STUPID WEBSITE.

THOSE GUYS ARE DOUCHES.
NO BIG DEAL.

IT'S A BIG DEAL TO ME.

- TOBY--
- JUST DON'T.

LOOK, I JUST--
IT SEEMED LIKE
WE WERE BROKEN UP.

I DIDN'T EVEN THINK THAT
YOU WOULD CARE AT THAT POINT.

AND FOR ALL I KNEW,
EMMETT AND BAY WERE
BROKEN UP.

- STOP TALKING.
- CAN YOU AT LEAST TELL ME
HOW YOUR MUSIC'S GOING?

- HAVE YOU BEEN WRITING?
- WE'RE NOT DOING THIS.

( bell rings )

SO, MRS. VASQUEZ--

- IT IS VASQUEZ?
- MM-HMM.

- SO YOU'RE NOT TAKING
YOUR HUSBAND'S LAST NAME?
- NO, I'M NOT.

- AND WHY IS THAT?
- HAVE YOU MET MY WIFE?

- WHICH SIDE OF THE BED
DOES REGINA SLEEP ON?
- THE LEFT.

- WHICH SIDE OF THE BED
DOES ANGELO SLEEP ON?
- THE MIDDLE!

BUT HE'LL TELL YOU
THE RIGHT SIDE.

AND IF HE SAYS THAT
I SNORE, HE'S LYING.

LET'S MOVE ON TO MORE
PERSONAL ITEMS.

WHAT BRAND OF SHAMPOO
DOES ANGELO USE?

YOU DON'T EXPECT
A NEWLYWED TO KNOW THAT.

I THINK
A HAIRSTYLIST WOULD.

- WELL--
- TELL ME, HOW DID YOU PROPOSE?

I FIRST PROPOSED
ON OUR FIFTH DATE.

WE HIKED TO EUREKA FALLS.

- MM-HMM.
- AND WE WERE
THE ONLY ONES THERE.

BECAUSE WE FORGOT
TO CHECK THE WEATHER FORECAST
AND IT STARTED TO POUR.

BUT THEN FOR A FEW MINUTES
THE RAIN STOPPED

AND THE SUN BROKE THROUGH
THE CLOUDS.

AND THAT'S WHEN
HE PROMISED ME THAT

ONE DAY HE WOULD MARRY ME.

I NEVER THOUGHT
IT WOULD TAKE 17 YEARS.

I'M JUST GLAD
I FINALLY HAVE THE CHANCE

TO GET TO KNOW
MY TWO DAUGHTERS.

( printer whirrs )

SO THIS MIGHT BE
A LITTLE BIT WEIRD,

AND I WILL TOTALLY
UNDERSTAND IF YOU SAY NO,

BUT WE'RE TRYING TO GET
"DAWN OF THE DEAF"

INTO THIS HORROR CONVENTION

AND WE HAVE TO CUT
TOGETHER A TRAILER.

I WANT TO KNOW
IF EMMETT CAN COME OVER
AND WORK ON THE COMPUTER.

YOU KNOW WHAT?
IT'S A BAD IDEA.
I'M SORRY.

NO-- I MEAN, IT'S OKAY.

HE CAN COME OVER.

THANK YOU.

BESIDES, I'M NOT
GONNA BE HOME,

SO THAT'LL JUST MAKE IT
EASIER FOR EVERYBODY.

HOW ARE YOU DOING
WITH THE WHOLE

MOM-GETTING-MARRIED THING?

WELL, AT LEAST
WE DIDN'T HAVE TO WEAR

SOME AWFUL
BRIDESMAIDS DRESSES.

TRUE.
HEY, AND I FINALLY GET
TO BE LEGITIMATE!

BONUS.

SERIOUSLY, THANK YOU

FOR BEING OKAY
WITH IT.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

FROM WHAT I'VE SEEN,
YOU'RE A COUPLE WITH
A DEEP SHARED HISTORY.

SO CONGRATULATIONS
ON FINALLY TYING THE KNOT.

HOWEVER I'M CONFUSED
BY YOUR LIVING ARRANGEMENTS.

YOU LISTED A MISSION HILLS
ADDRESS AS YOUR RESIDENCE.

- THAT'S CORRECT.
- YET ACCORDING TO
MR. SORRENTO'S CREDIT RECORD,

JUST YESTERDAY HE APPLIED
FOR A ONE-BEDROOM APARTMENT

ON WARNALL ROAD.

YES, AND IT'S
FOR MY MOTHER-IN-LAW.

YOU-- YOU KNOW
HOW THAT IS, RIGHT?

I SEE.

UNFORTUNATELY
THESE KINDS OF RED FLAGS,
THE ADDRESS DISCREPANCY

AND THE TIMING OF THE MARRIAGE,
REQUIRE ME TO REFER YOUR CASE

TO OUR FRAUD INVESTIGATION
DEPARTMENT.

AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

IT'S FAIRLY ROUTINE.
SURPRISE INSPECTIONS,

CERTAIN VERIFICATIONS.

WHAT DO YOU NEED TO VERIFY?
WE HAVE A CHILD TOGETHER.

THAT YOU ACTUALLY LIVE
TOGETHER AS HUSBAND AND WIFE.

- THAT WON'T BE A PROBLEM
FOR YOU, WILL IT?
- NO.

NOT AT ALL.

( phone vibrates )

SERIOUSLY?

NOW WHAT?

( sighs )

SO THEY CAN JUST SHOW UP
ANY TIME THEY WANT?

AND RUN PERIODIC
CREDIT CHECKS

TO MAKE SURE NEITHER OF US
TRIES TO RENT ANOTHER APARTMENT.

I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST GOING
TO BE THE ONE INTERVIEW.

SO DID I.
BUT THIS IS GETTING
WAY OUT OF CONTROL.

THEN GET
THE MARRIAGE ANNULLED.

WE WOULD BE ADMITTING FRAUD,
AND I DON'T HAVE $250,000
LYING AROUND.

( sighs )
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

( mutters in Spanish )

TAKE A DEEP BREATH.

WE'VE SURVIVED A LOT WORSE
THAN THIS.

WE'RE GOING TO WORK THIS OUT.
I PROMISE.

BUT WE STILL HAVE
TO TELL THE KENNISHES.

WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT THAT ONE?

- THAT'S TOO NICE.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN TOO NICE?

SWEETIE, YOU'RE GONNA BE
SIGNING HUNDREDS OF BOOKS.

IF YOU MAKE
EVERY LETTER PERFECT,
YOUR HAND'S GONNA FALL OFF.

TRUST ME.
TRY DOING IT ON A BASEBALL.

DAD, THE GUY
FROM SPORTSCENTER IS
CALLING FOR YOU AGAIN.

- I'M STILL OUT OF TOWN.
- SORRY YEAH, HE'S STILL
OUTTA TOWN.

- WHAT IS THAT ALL ABOUT?
- THEY WANT ME TO COME ON
SOME SHOW

- WHEN ALVARADO BREAKS
MY RECORD AND-- YOU KNOW.
- THEN DON'T DO IT.

IF I DON'T GO, I'M JUST
SOME OLD BITTER GUY.

WELL, HE HASN'T BROKEN
IT YET, RIGHT?

- YEAH RIGHT.
- ( knocks )

HEY.

GOT A SEC?

( woman vocalizing )

YOU'VE BEEN DISAPPEARING
A LOT LATELY.

IS THAT A QUESTION?

- WERE YOU WITH EMMETT?
- NO.

I WASN'T.

GOOD.

SO, UH, DID YOU SEE
THAT THING ABOUT SIMONE?

- THE WEBSITE?
- YEAH.

WAS IT YOU?

I WOULDN'T DO THAT--
AS MUCH AS I WANT TO.

SO, UH,

YOU GONNA TELL ME
WHERE YOU'VE BEEN?

WHAT IS GOING ON IN THERE?

THE BOTTOM LINE IS
THEY'RE GOING TO BE
MAKING SURE

THAT WE ARE LIVING TOGETHER
AND IF WE ARE NOT,

- WE COULD BOTH GO TO JAIL.
- UH, WHAT?!

- THE INTERVIEW DIDN'T GO WELL.
- John: I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS.

- YOU KNEW THIS COULD HAPPEN,
YET YOU DID IT ANYWAY.
- DAD, SHE DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

SHE DID KNOW THAT.
IF THIS WEREN'T ILLEGAL,
EVERYBODY WOULD DO IT.

- DIDN'T YOU SEE
THAT MOVIE "GREEN CARD"?
- THERE IS NO POINT IN ARGUING

ABOUT THIS NOW.
WE'LL JUST MOVE OUT.

- WHAT?! ALL OF YOU?
- I THOUGHT THE WHOLE POINT
OF YOU GUYS MOVING IN

WAS SO THAT WE COULD ALL GET
TO KNOW EACH OTHER.

WE STILL CAN, WE'LL JUST
FIND SOMETHING CLOSE BY
THAT WE CAN AFFORD.

- WAIT, WHAT'S GOING ON?
- APPARENTLY YOU GUYS ARE
MOVING OUT.

- WHAT? I DON'T WANT TO MOVE!
- John: ALL RIGHT, HOLD ON
A SECOND.

YOU AND ANGELO CAN
FIND AN APARTMENT;

DAPHNE AND ADRIANNA,
THEY STAY HERE.

- YEAH.
- I AM NOT LEAVING DAPHNE!

( gasps )
AND I DON'T WANT
TO LEAVE BAY EITHER,

BUT I AM NOT GOING TO TURN
THIS HOUSE UPSIDE DOWN AGAIN.

FINE!
THEN ANGELO WILL MOVE
INTO THE GUEST HOUSE.

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
- NOW ANGELO IS GONNA MOVE
INTO THE GUEST HOUSE.

ARE THERE ANY MORE AUNTS
AND UNCLES YOU WANT
TO MOVE IN TOO?

- I CANNOT DO THAT TO DAPHNE.
- OH, NOW YOU'RE THINKING
ABOUT DAPHNE?

ALL RIGHT,
DAPHNE MOVES IN HERE.
WE HAVE PLENTY OF ROOM.

- SO NOW YOU ARE
GOING TO MOVE IN HERE.
- NO, DAPHNE STAYS WITH ME.

- NEVER MIND, THAT'S NOT
WHAT'S HAPPENING.
- JUST STOP, OKAY?

I CAN'T FOLLOW WHEN
YOU'RE ALL TALKING AT ONCE!

- WHICH I THINK
YOU WOULD KNOW BY NOW.
- ( all apologizing )

NO, JUST STOP!
WE'RE DOING IT.

ANGELO CAN MOVE INTO
THE GUEST HOUSE AND EVERYONE
CAN STOP FIGHTING, OKAY?

IT'S DONE!

( sighs )

SO I GUESS THAT ANGELO'S
MOVING IN, NOW YOU'RE
GONNA BE MOVING OUT.

NO.

YOU KNOW NONE OF THIS
WOULD EVEN BE HAPPENING

IF YOU HADN'T CALLED
THE AUTHORITIES ON MY FATHER

BEHIND EVERYONE'S BACK,
INCLUDING MINE.

BAY,

- I'M SORRY--
- IT'S TOO LATE TO APOLOGIZE.

NO NO NO, I WASN'T GOING
TO APOLOGIZE FOR DOING IT.

I WAS GOING TO SAY
THAT I'M SORRY YOU HAVE
SUCH A JERK FOR A DAD.

AND THAT ONE DAY
YOU'LL REALIZE

THAT I DID THE RIGHT THING.

I DON'T GET IT.

REGINA CHANGED.
SHE TURNED HER WHOLE
LIFE AROUND.

YOU WERE THERE FOR IT.

WHY IS IT SO HARD
TO BELIEVE THAT HE CAN TOO?

BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE
NEVER CHANGE.

( surprised )
YOU'RE BACK.

YEAH, I JUST WANTED TO SEE
IF THERE WERE ANY OPEN
SHIFTS I COULD TAKE.

SURE!
TAKE AS MANY AS YOU WANT.

TRYING TO MAKE
SOME EXTRA CASH?

YEAH, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

( sighs )

John:
NO, I'M JUST SAYING IT WOULD
HAVE BEEN NICE IF YOU HAD

CHECKED WITH ME BEFORE
YOU INVITED HIM TO MOVE
INTO OUR HOUSE WITH US.

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TOLD
REGINA ABOUT MARRYING HIM
IN THE FIRST PLACE.

THAT WASN'T MY IDEA!
I WAS REPEATING EXACTLY WHAT
THE LAWYER TOLD ME, OKAY?

AND BY THE WAY,
WHATEVER HAPPENED TO

"JOHN, IT'S WRONG TO HELP
PERPETUATE A LIE"?

BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE ARE GOING TO BE
THE ONES LYING

EVERY SINGLE TIME
AN IMMIGRATION AGENT
SHOWS UP AT OUR HOUSE.

- WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?
IT WAS EITHER THAT...
- ( cellphone chimes )

...OR DAPHNE MOVES OUT,
WHICH I AM NOT ABOUT
TO LET HAPPEN.

- OH, THAT'S GREAT.
- WHAT?

ALVARADO'S UP TO 70.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST TURN
THAT DAMN ALERT OFF?

I THOUGHT I HAD. GOODBYE.
I'M GOING TO WORK.

( screaming on computer )

- ( beeps )
- ( zombies moan )

HEY, I KNOW THINGS HAVE
BEEN CRAZY AROUND HERE

AND I WAS THINKING
WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING--

JUST THE THREE OF US.

WE SHOULD GO BOWLING.

OBVIOUSLY I CAN'T BOWL,

BUT I COULD STILL PUT AWAY
SOME CHEESY FRIES.

- I HAVE TO WORK TONIGHT.
- YOU'VE BEEN WORKING
A LOT LATELY.

- BYE, GRANDMA.
- GOODBYE, CORAZON.

- YOU CAN'T BLAME HER.
- I KNOW.

THIS IS A DISASTER.

MY DAUGHTER DOESN'T
WANT TO BE HOME.

I JUST WANTED TO DO
WHAT WAS BEST
FOR EVERYONE.

ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?

WHAT IS THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

- I MARRIED HIM SO MY DAUGHTER
COULD GET TO KNOW HER FATHER.
- YEAH, MAYBE.

BUT ISN'T THIS WHAT
YOU'VE WANTED ALL ALONG?

- HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT?
- REGINA,

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU SAID
THAT YOU'RE DONE WITH HIM?

HE'S AN ADDICTION AND NOW
YOU'LL BE LIVING WITH HIM.

( door opens )

GET OFF ME!

DON'T TOUCH ME!

WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!

HEY, TOBY!
OH MY GOD, ARE YOU OKAY?

DID HE HIT YOU?

( motorcycle starts )

CAN YOU PUT THOSE OVER THERE?
I'M RUNNING OUT OF ROOM.

HELLO?
HELLO!

OH.

( crying )

I'LL PAY FOR IT.

THEY'RE 49¢ PLATES.

ARE YOU OKAY?

I'M FINE.
I'M REALLY SORRY, CHEF.

OKAY, YOU ARE NOT FINE
AND YOU CAN CALL ME JEFF.

WHEN YOU'RE HAVING A BREAKDOWN
IN MY STORAGE ROOM,

YOU'RE ALLOWED
TO CALL ME JEFF.

NOW DO YOU WANT TO TELL ME
WHAT'S GOING ON?

IT'S A REALLY LONG STORY.

DO YOU WANT TO GO HOME?

NO, THAT'S THE LAST PLACE
I WANT TO BE RIGHT NOW.

I SHOULD GET BACK TO WORK.

OKAY.

BUT YOU CAN
SLOW DOWN A LITTLE BIT.
IT'S NOT AN OLYMPIC SPORT.

AND IF IT'S CRAZY AT HOME,

MAYBE THAT'S WHERE YOU SHOULD
BE BREAKING SOME PLATES.

UH, DON'T WORRY.
I WILL USE MY HEADPHONES
WHEN I PLAY.

BUT IF TOBY WANTS TO JAM,
I'M SORRY, ALL BETS ARE OFF.

I'M GLAD THIS IS
A JOKE TO YOU.

I'M SORRY.
I DON'T THINK
THIS IS A JOKE.

REALLY.

I TRIED TO FIX ONE PROBLEM
AND I CREATED 100 OTHERS.

THINGS WILL CALM DOWN.

WE HAVE TO GIVE IT TIME.

COME HERE.

I HAVE TO GO.

THANK YOU.

OH, IT'S NOTHING.

THERE'S A PLAYER,
HE'S ABOUT TO TIE

MY RECORD FOR DOUBLES.

"MAYBE HE'LL GET
A BROKEN LEG"?

- THAT WOULD BE NICE, BUT I--
- ( chimes )

AH!

"MAYBE NOT."
YEAH.

I CAN'T WATCH.

I TIED
SOMEBODY ELSE'S RECORD?
YES, I DID.

DO YOU REMEMBER
THAT GUY'S NAME?

NO, NOR DOES ANYONE ELSE.

LATER.

WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING?

THIS YOU?

KILLER.

IT WAS--
UNTIL YOU RUINED IT.

PUT THE PIN BACK
IN THE GRENADE, ANGRY GIRL.

- I'M JUST ANSWERING YOUR PIECE.
- YOU DIDN'T ANSWER IT!

YOU FINISHED IT.

YEAH WELL, HEY,
THAT'S HOW IT WORKS
ON THE STREETS--

SOMEONE DOES A PIECE OF ART
AND SOMEONE ELSE FINISHES IT.

I KNOW HOW IT WORKS.
I'M A STREET ARTIST TOO--
OBVIOUSLY.

YOU ARE MISSING THE POINT.
THE POINT IS I WANTED TO BE
THE ONE TO FINISH IT.

AND I KEPT GETTING INTERRUPTED
BY ALL THESE PEOPLE

DOING THINGS THAT I DIDN'T
EVEN ASK THEM TO DO!

ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT?
HERE, STOP TALKING.
YOU FINISH IT.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO YELL.

YOU'RE MEDUSA.
YOU DID THAT ALLEY OVER ON 30th,

THE ONE WITH THE SEA CREATURES
COMING OUT OF THE SEWER

AND THAT OTHER ONE OVER
ON BALES WITH THE SNAKES

WHO WERE FLEEING
THE BURNT-OUT PET STORE.

WHAT WAS THE IDEA
BEHIND THAT ONE?

LIKE THE SNAKES SET THE PLACE
ON FIRE BEFORE HAULING ASS
TO FREEDOM?

I DON'T KNOW, DUDE.
YEAH SURE, WHATEVER.

- YOU'RE VERY PERCEPTIVE.
- WELL, I REALLY LIKE
YOUR STUFF.

THANKS.
BUT SERIOUSLY,

IF YOU REALLY HATE
THE WAY IT LOOKS,

GO AHEAD AND FINISH HER
THE WAY YOU WANT.

- I DON'T NEED TO FINISH IT.
- YOU'RE SURE?

I'M SURE.

Man:
GOOD EVENING,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

THIS IS THE REGULAR MEETING
OF THE LEAWOOD SOBRIETY GROUP

OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS.

MY NAME IS STEVE.
I'M AN ALCOHOLIC
AND YOUR SECRETARY.

- HI.
- HI.

GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY
TO ACCEPT THE THINGS
I CANNOT CHANGE,

THE COURAGE TO CHANGE
THE THINGS I CAN...

( car approaches )

( car door creaks, slams )

CAN I TALK TO YOU?

YEAH, OF COURSE.

I'VE TRIED REALLY HARD TO BE
OKAY WITH ANGELO MOVING IN,

BUT I'M NOT.

I THOUGHT YOU GUYS
WERE GETTING ALONG.

WE ARE. IT'S JUST
TOO MUCH TOO SOON.

I KNOW.

I--

I WANTED HIM BACK,

BUT NOT LIKE THIS.

IT'S LIKE
IF HE AND I DON'T HAVE

THE GREATEST FATHER-DAUGHTER
RELATIONSHIP IN THE WORLD,

THEN ALL OF THIS
IS FOR NOTHING.

I GET HOW IMPORTANT
THIS IS TO YOU.

I JUST DON'T WANT
TO HAVE TO WAKE UP AND MAKE
SMALL TALK OVER BREAKFAST

OR COME HOME AND HAVE HIM
ASK ME HOW MY DAY WAS.

I WISH THAT THERE WAS
A BETTER WAY.

IT'S CLEAR THAT THIS
IS NOT GOING TO WORK
AND I NEED

TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY
FOR THAT.

I'M JUST GOING TO TELL
THE JUDGE THAT I PANICKED

- AND MADE A MISTAKE.
- I'M NOT SURE THE
"OOPS, SORRY" DEFENSE

- STANDS UP TO FRAUD CHARGES.
- THE JUDGE WAS REASONABLE.

I'LL JUST TELL HER THAT
THE PRESSURE WAS TOO MUCH
AND I MADE A RASH DECISION.

YEAH, BUT BEFORE
YOU DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT,
YOU'D BETTER CONTACT A LAWYER,

- BECAUSE I--
- YOU DON'T HAVE
TO DO THAT.

WHAT IF ANGELO DOESN'T MOVE
INTO THE GUEST HOUSE

BUT HE MOVES IN HERE?

WITH US?

Daphne:
AND THAT WAY NOBODY
HAS TO GO TO PRISON,

BAY CAN GET TO KNOW
HER DAD

AND I CAN HAVE
SOME DISTANCE.

EVERYBODY'S HAPPY.

OR AS HAPPY
AS WE COULD BE...

( moaning, screaming )

Everyone has been
looking for you.

Are you okay?
Let me take a look at that.

HE'S ALL MOVED IN.

Bay:
Oh God. Oh no.

( moaning, screaming )

I'M SORRY I DIDN'T
COME TO YOU SOONER.

NO, I SHOULD HAVE
SAID SOMETHING.

BUT YOU COULDN'T.

IS IT BECAUSE I HAVEN'T
BEEN ABLE TO SIGN?

I FEEL AWFUL ABOUT THAT.

AND I'M GOING TO START TRYING
WITH THIS HAND AGAIN.

MOM, NO.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO LET THEM REST.

I CAN READ YOUR LIPS.

BUT IT'S NOT THE SAME.

NO, IT'S NOT.

BUT WE'LL MANAGE.

MOM,

I'M OKAY, REALLY,
WITH ALL OF IT.

THERE YOU GO AGAIN.

THIS TIME I MEAN IT.

I SWEAR.

AND BESIDES IT'S NOT
JUST ABOUT ME ANYMORE--
THERE'S BAY.

AND I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO WANT TO GET TO KNOW
YOUR REAL DAD.

HOW CAN I STAND IN THE WAY
OF BAY GETTING TO KNOW HERS?

COME HERE.

WOULD YOU POUR ME
ONE OF THOSE?

- THIS IS FOR YOU.
- AHH.

I'M SORRY ABOUT
YOUR RECORD, HONEY.

NOT MINE ANYMORE.

HERE'S TO ESTEBAN ALVARADO.

AWW, HONEY.

OH.

I JUST LIKED BEING THAT GUY.

I KNOW.

I DON'T LIKE SHARING.

YOU'LL ALWAYS BE BAY
AND DAPHNE'S FATHER,

AND TO ME YOU'LL
ALWAYS BE THAT GUY.

I BETTER CALL THE GUY
FROM SPORTSCENTER,

TELL HIM I'LL DO
HIS DAMN SHOW,

PRETEND TO BE
HAPPY ABOUT IT.

I'M GETTING A LOT
OF PRACTICE AT THAT
THESE DAYS.

SO WHAT HAPPENED
WITH EMMETT?

WHAT WAS HE DOING HERE?

HE WAS EDITING
THAT ZOMBIE MOVIE
FOR SOME FILM FESTIVAL.

DAPHNE ASKED IF IT WAS
ALL RIGHT FOR HIM
TO COME OVER.

SHE DIDN'T ASK ME.

I GUESS SHE JUST FIGURED
YOU'D BE OKAY WITH IT.

WELL, I'M NOT.

I'M SORRY.
YOU DO ACT LIKE
YOU'RE OKAY, THOUGH,

WITH EVERYTHING.

WELL, I DON'T RUN AROUND
CRYING AND YELLING,

BUT I'M NOT THRILLED
THAT MY GIRLFRIEND HAD SEX
WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND.

OH, THAT SOUNDS
REALLY GROSS

- WHEN YOU JUST
LAY IT OUT LIKE THAT.
- YEAH, IT'S NOT PLEASANT.

I JUST--

DON'T LIKE BEING
NEAR THE CENTER
OF ALL THIS DRAMA.

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

COME ON. YOU LOVE BEING
THE CENTER OF THE DRAMA.

NO, I JUST HAVE A LOT MORE
PRACTICE THAN YOU DO.

TRUE THAT.

SO HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT
ANGELO MOVING IN?

I MEAN, YOU LIVE HERE TOO.

I DON'T KNOW.
I GUESS IT'S JUST GONNA GET
A LITTLE BIT MORE CROWDED.

YOU WANNA GET OUT OF HERE?

WHERE?

( pop music playing )

YOU DID THIS?

SOME OF IT.
THE GIRL'S MINE.

MM, I CAN TELL.

WHAT ABOUT THE REST?

SOMEBODY ELSE DID THAT.

WHO IS HE?

* 'CAUSE THERE'S
NO REASON... *

- NOBODY.
- * I'M TURNING MYSELF INTO...

IT'S A STEP UP FROM SETTING
MY DOLLS ON FIRE WITH MOM'S
KITCHEN TORCH, RIGHT?

- PFFT, YEAH,
THAT WASN'T CREEPY AT ALL.
- I WAS EXPERIMENTING.

- I WAS SLEEPING
WITH MY DOOR LOCKED.
- IT WAS NOT THAT DANGEROUS!

( laughing )
COME ON, YOU ALMOST BURNED
YOUR PLAYHOUSE DOWN.

FIRE TRUCKS CAME.

( laughs )

* HEY HEY-YYY

- * MY OWN WORK OF ART...
- THAT'S PRETTY AWESOME.

* HERE WHERE I STAND,
HEY HEY *

* HEY-YY...

HEY, COME
CHECK THIS OUT!

* GIVE IN

* IT'S SO HARD
TO START *

* LIVE IN MY SKIN

- * THE BRUISES,
ARE USELESS... *
- YOU MUST BE ANGRY GIRL.

DON'T MAKE ME REGRET
BRINGING YOU.

* I'LL TRY ALL I CAN

* TO FIND A SOFT PLACE
TO LAND *

* CALM DOWN, CALM DOWN

* CALM DOWN

* I'M HOLDING A HEART

* HERE IN MY HAND

* HEY HEY

* HEY-YYY

* MY OWN WORK OF ART

* HERE WHERE I STAND

* HEY HEY.