Superstore (2015–…): Season 2, Episode 11 - Rebranding - full transcript
Cloud 9 goes through a store-wide re-branding.
What does it mean to change?
To embrace progress?
To transform?
Cloud 9 is pleased to announce
that our in-store brand "Halo"
has now become "SuperCloud."
A new day has dawned.
All right, there you have it.
So it's a big day today.
We start our rebranding.
Does rebranding mean they're
redesigning the store?
No, we'll be taking our
in-store product "Halo"
and changing it to "SuperCloud."
And how are they different?
That, uh, what I just said.
It used to be called "Halo."
Now it's called SuperCloud.
- Oh.
- Maybe I'm not, um, selling
the excitement of
what's happening today.
Let's see if this helps.
♪
♪ Y'all ready for this? ♪
♪
Wow, that song is a little
longer than I thought.
- What was that, 11 minutes?
- 12
All right, anyway... 12?
Sorry about that.
Uh, moving on, we have buttons
for everybody to wear today,
and there's a VP coming in
to oversee this rollout.
A VP of corporate?
I'm gonna need to borrow
somebody's lipstick.
Not Amy's... way too slutty.
Who's that lady?
Oh, that's Kelsey, from Cloud 9.
She's the new SuperCloud mascot.
Why is a smiling white
lady always the mascot?
'Cause in my experience, usually
they're, like, the first to snap.
She's not wrong.
I personally blame all the
yogurt white ladies eat.
Why didn't they make
it a superhero?
You know, 'cause SuperCloud?
And it could have, like,
a cape or something,
and, like, little cloud muscles.
Yeah, wow, that's...
Clean, it's simple,
it's visual, that...
is probably what it should've been.
Damn.
So all right, let's
just move on.
Here are some words
we'd like you guys to pepper
in to the conversation today
whenever SuperCloud comes
up, obviously, so "cool,"
"millennial," "on fleek..."
Have to go back to the
superhero mascot,
I'm so sorry, that's
just a home run.
Yeah, and he could be
saving people with savings.
, that's good.
- Oh, excuse me.
- Yeah?
Where is the Halo toilet paper?
I could only find this stuff.
Yeah, this is our
new product line:
the SuperCloud, and I have
been ordered to tell you
how excited I am about it.
But I like Halo.
Right, well, apologies, but
we've actually shifted
completely to SuperCloud.
This is not a good time
in my life for this.
Rachel just broke up with me.
I don't know who that is.
I thought I knew who she was.
You know, I gotta tell ya...
Ooh, look out, ladies.
Here comes a stylish dude.
Yeah, somehow he makes
baldness look cute.
Hey, I'm not talking about Jeff.
I'm talking about the other guy.
Yeah, obvs. I was kidding.
Jeff is like the ugliest
guy in the world.
So busted.
Like stretched-out Danny DeVito.
Hey, guys, excuse me.
I want you to meet Rex Joshi.
He's in from the main office.
Hey, call me Mr. Joshi.
Pleasure to meet you.
So good to meet you. So
good to meet you guys.
Let me tell you something:
we are so excited
about this SuperCloud.
We think it's going
straight up to the sky.
So who's gonna help
me get out there
and make this rollout huge?
Big success. Who's with me?
You have a lot of hand gestures.
Always doing something
with those hands.
- You betcha.
- Oh, okay.
- One of those.
- Pshew.
One more time. Stick shift.
We could do that all day.
Hey, sorry to interrupt, guys,
but these boxes really
need to be uniform.
Thank you, sorry, I just
gotta stay on top of them.
Yeah, I'll make
sure they fix it.
Please do.
You are management,
so you're most at fault here.
Okay, let's head over
to Sporting Goods, Rex.
- Sure, yeah.
- Make sure things are in order.
Ooh, that was cold.
Um, have you decided
who you're gonna
take this out on later?
'Cause last week it was me...
Elias!
That is not how you
climb a ladder,
you turd!
Hey, Cheyenne, can you
go wake up this lady
that fell asleep in Electronics?
Last time I tried
something like that,
I got punched in the beans.
Um, can I just buy some of
this discounted Halo stuff
for my baby first?
It's normally so expensive
I can barely afford
her eye shadow.
Okay, but you know
you're not supposed to
buy things while you're
clocked in, right?
Well, can I set it aside for
later before it sells out?
Not supposed to but...
Okay, I'm sorry, no.
You'll have to do it
when your shift's over.
_
_
_
_
No, I-I'm telling you, they...
they feel exactly the same
because they are
exactly the same.
Well, let me at least
try your belly.
I'm not gonna...
Fine, but just be careful.
I'm ticklish.
Um, everything okay over here?
Keep moving, I'm a Cloud
Club Rewards Member.
- It's not a big deal.
- Jonah?
- Rex?
- Wait, I'm sorry, you know him?
Yeah, we went to business
school together.
Dude, what the hell
are you doing here?
Could you pull that up
a little bit higher?
- Pull it up higher?
- I heard you.
Anyway, I just started
driving, and...
and then I saw that
they were hiring here
- That's... that's great.
- Yeah.
Wow, I wouldn't
have guessed that.
I would've figured you were
one of those guys who are on
a voyage of self-discovery.
Oh.
You know, backpacking through
Asia, rolling cigars in Cuba.
Or, as Jonah would
say, "Coo-ba."
- He does that?
- Yeah.
Should I be embarrassed
that I pronounce
it the way native
Coo-banos do, or...?
- You should.
- Okay.
Iceman.
I mean, look at you, man.
It has been too long.
I'm sorry, we're gonna need
to take it back to "Iceman"?
Yeah, that was my
nickname in school.
They, uh, you know, ice in the
veins, cool and collected.
It's because you were always cold in class.
You had that afghan.
That was a blazer. That
was a knit blazer.
Oh, my God. You're Iceman.
I'm gonna hear this
again, aren't I?
Yes, Iceman, you are, Iceman.
"You're the manager, so you're
the most at fault here."
- That guy really sucks.
- Total asshat, right?
- I hate his little eyes.
- I hate his stupid face.
I literally hope he dies.
What?
Yeah, I... I hope he does.
I hope he dies.
I really hope he dies.
Just dead.
Our team formulated a plan
that featured WOM marketing,
message-sending, and, of
course, fluid branding...
Oh, my God, this is amazing.
Look at that little suit.
- It's like his bar mitzvah.
- Aww.
It looks like a
normal-size suit to me.
All those words, and you
said absolutely nothing.
Oh, Rex, thank you for
giving us this gift.
Okay, I think we've seen enough.
Ah!
♪
I need to pull off
the veil of secrecy.
What are you doing?
What is that?
Is that something
you've practiced?
Just a couple times in the
mirror, don't worry about it.
Okay, listen. I
know you're really
stressed out, but, okay,
this isn't you, okay?
People are starting to complain.
Who?
Just, people, okay?
Dina didn't like the way you talked
to her in front of everybody.
She called you an asshat.
An asshat? Well, that's hurtful.
Uh, but I will try to do better.
And just since the veil
of secrecy is off,
I feel like you've been mentioning
your ex-boyfriend a little too much.
Not the time.
Got it.
Veil on.
I love that you and
Chad are still close.
Direct WOM management and
indirect WOM management...
Garrett, can you
please formulate
a global strategy to fold
the yoga pants in Softline?
I will fold them along multiple
distribution channels.
Very clever. So great to
reconnect with you, Rex.
You know what? Blech,
that's kind of
a boring topic, unless...
You rap about it.
- Jonah!
- Okay, party's over.
I love hip-hop.
Hey, at least now,
when you go back,
you know what not to do.
What do you mean, "go back"?
When he goes back to school.
Your enrollment's still active.
Yeah, they said I could
defer for two years, so...
But you're not actually
planning on going back,
are you?
I mean, I hadn't given
it much thought.
I mean, I... I was
not happy there,
so, but you know. I'm not sure.
That's not a no, Jonah!
That's not a no!
Nice job with this
area, everyone.
Good job managing, Dina.
Thank you, Jeff.
Oh, also, uh, sorry if I've
been a little bit harsh lately,
but if anybody has
a problem with me,
I prefer they say it to my
face than call me an asshat
behind my back.
Good job with this area.
Well, it seems we've got
a rat in the store.
I'm not mad. I'm not upset.
I'll allow myself to
feel those things after
I've hunted down and torn
apart whatever little weasel
tattled on me to Jeff.
Does anyone else hear that?
It's like a
high-pitched ringing.
Hey, you, uh, wanted to see me?
Yeah, please, have a seat.
I was reviewing my files,
and I noticed there
was something wrong
with your contract,
so you need to sign a new one.
Just standard boilerplate,
you don't really
need to read it.
"The undersigned agrees to
work exclusively at Cloud 9
for the next 30 years"?
This is very flattering, but
I obviously can't sign that.
Okay, well, that's,
uh, disappointing.
What is it that you want?
Is it... is it money?
- No.
- 'Cause there's no money
left in the budget, but
I could fire someone.
- Glenn.
- Maybe Larry.
You don't need to fire Larry.
Oh, God, the poor man has lupus.
It's not about...
No, no, I'll do it. He's gone.
Glenn, look, I'm not going
anywhere anytime soon,
but I can't promise that
it's never gonna happen.
Well, then, you're fired.
What?
Of course you're not fired.
I love you!
Okay, well, thank you.
Do you love me?
I'm sorry?
Hey, we need to talk.
I know, right?
What's going on, girl?
No, not a gay talk.
We need to talk about
who the snitch is.
Now, it had to be somebody
in that room, but who?
Okay, it couldn't
have been Ramona,
her husband doesn't let
her talk to other men.
Wasn't Tim, his jaw's
still wired shut,
after talking to Ramona.
I know it wasn't me.
So that just leaves
Justine, Elias,
Sandra, you, uh...
What?
You know how I hate to gossip,
but I was out back last week,
and I saw Jeff making out with...
Sandra.
Sandra?
Yeah, man on woman.
It was disgusting.
Oh, my God, it was Sandra.
Oh, I am gonna drop-kick that
bitch back into whatever
volcano she crawled out of...
Wait, um, wouldn't it be worse
if we didn't even tell
her that we know,
just ice her out,
never talk to her again
and don't tell her why?
It's pretty much the meanest
thing you can do to someone.
I don't know.
I didn't have a single friend in
high school, and I loved it there.
Yeah, but,
Sandra's not as strong as you.
- You're right.
- Yeah.
She's the weakest
person I've ever met.
So, uh,
just had a really weird
convo with Glenn.
Look, um, I don't have
a crystal ball, okay?
I... I don't... I don't know
what's gonna happen in life,
but I know one thing,
and that is that we
are always gonna be friends.
Hmm, you say that, but I don't
know if I can believe you.
- You can.
- No, I... I think that you'll
probably just forget about us.
No, Amy, I would never
forget about you guys.
You guys are... are
everything to me.
You're just this little
flicker of sunlight
that brightened our lives
for a short while.
And now you must take that light
to someone else, but
it's okay because
a little piece of your
magic lives inside
each and every one of us.
Okay.
Be free.
Forget I said anything.
No, wait, don't go, please.
Who's gonna force
me to try tahini?
♪
♪ They say I went from being a
pimp to being a rap mogul ♪
♪ They spitting trill rap
songs back on track slow ♪
♪ On my rosé sippin'
black bottles on them ♪
♪ Up out of San Antone
better get the math real ♪
♪ Feel trill, got boys placing
bets on me, big yellin' ♪
♪ Got haters even plexin'
on me trying to blast me ♪
♪ Blast me, blast me ♪
Oh, whatcha got there, Eugene?
You would not believe
the amount of stuff that
gets misstocked here.
Baby food in the barbeque.
I found shampoo in jeans.
I mean, who would do that?
I don't know, probably some jerk
or desperate mom or whatever.
Yeah, well, I worked really
hard rounding it all up.
I stayed two hours past
my shift, but I still...
I'm all out of trophies, Eugene.
That's okay.
♪ Life is fine at Cloud 9 ♪
♪ Life is great...♪ Hello, sir!
♪ Work starts at eight ♪
Two wolves I couldn't
do it, but one wolf...
- Hey, guys.
- I could take it.
Did anyone watch "Vampire
Diaries" last night?
Damien's really gotten
out of control.
You stupid slut!
Dina...
- I can't hold it in any longer.
- What's happening?
Sandra is having an
affair with Jeff.
- No.
- Oh!
Don't you deny it! You
were seen kissing
on the loading dock.
Ooh, Sandra, Sandra, Sandra!
That's crazy, boo!
I didn't know you had it in you.
Dish, girl.
I don't think we need to
be talking about that.
Oh, I got questions,
like, when did it start?
About two weeks ago.
He pulled me into his Kia,
and he said to me, "Sandra
take out your taters."
And I did.
And I put them in his face.
Ooh, yeah!
Hey, sorry about before.
Oh, that's fine.
I can take a little ribbing.
Yeah, it went on for
a really long time.
Elias jumped in on it.
He does a really good
impression of you.
It's like "Greetings,
gentlemen."
I can't do it.
Look, uh, I just
don't want you to think
that I got one foot
out the door, okay?
I... I'm here,
just like everybody else.
Mm...
not just like everybody else.
I mean, you can
leave if you want.
But I'm not.
But you can.
- But I'm not.
- But you can,
and that's the difference
between being stranded
on a desert island
or going on a nice
tropical vacation.
You wanna think that, fine.
I happen to think it's
exactly the same.
Okay.
I mean, if you want me to cancel
my deferment, just say the word.
Yeah, okay.
- Cancel it.
- What?
If you think there's honestly
no difference, cancel it.
Okay, great, yeah.
I will, I'll do it...
I'll do it tonight.
No time like the present.
Okay. I'll do it now.
- Great.
- It makes no difference to me.
I mean, if you need this,
then sure, let's, uh...
I'm just gonna find the number.
It's in an email so I gotta
search for it for...
just hang on one second.
I keep meaning to
update the new OS.
You know what? I'm gonna just...
I'm gonna do that,
I'm gonna do that
right now, real quickly.
Ugh, "estimated wait
time four hours"?
Hey, it's okay.
It's... it's not me.
It's the Wi-Fi.
This is probably a
router placement issue.
Jeff and I have these cute
nicknames for each other.
He calls me "Deliciousness."
Ooh.
And I call him Mr. Man.
Yeah, let's not forget she was
blabbing to Jeff about us.
Ain't nobody care about that.
Yeah, I'm just morbidly
intrigued at this point.
Do you have sex in his hotel?
Oh, yeah, all the time.
Is there a coffee
machine in there?
Yep, one of those pod ones.
Do they have decaf?
- I think so.
- Ooh.
Yes!
And you guys will keep
this a secret, right?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
we got you, Deliciousness.
Amy to Glenn's office, please.
Amy, report to Glenn's
office, please.
So we just call each other
into Glenn's office now?
And that registration
is under "Jonah Simms"?
Yes, S-I-M-M-S.
Okay, let me pull
up your records.
Thank you.
What are you doing?
If you think some
college deferral
that I'm never even gonna use
makes us so different,
I don't want it.
I was just trying
to prove a point.
- Hang up.
- No.
- Hang up.
- No. No.
- No, no, you.
- Cut it out.
- God, your arms are very strong.
- I know.
- Unusually strong.
- Okay, look, fine,
we're in the exact same
position, all right?
Just hang up, don't do
something you're gonna regret.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Mr. Simms?
Uh, hey, uh, yeah,
you know what?
I'm... I think I'm
actually gonna...
It turns out your
registration lapsed
a month ago, so you don't
have to worry about it.
Um, what?
That's... no, that's, mm-mm.
That's a mistake. I,
uh, I believe I have
a two-year deferral.
Yes, two years from your
initial enrollment,
not from when you left school,
unless you apply to extend it...
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah,
let's just go ahead and do that.
Well, you would've had to apply
while you were still registered.
Right. Right, right, right,
right, right, right.
Listen, uh, how would I go about
re-registering so
that I could apply
to extend the deferral?
Uh, you don't.
I mean, what's the difference?
You were gonna cancel
anyway, right?
No, I was bluffing
that I was cancelling
to show you how alike we are.
Uh, hey. Hi. What's your name?
Vicky! Uh, hey, listen,
we are going to find
a solution, Vicky.
I don't need to
calm down, Vicky.
I wasn't raising my voice.
Well, now I am.
Is all the clearance gone?
Yes, Halo is officially over.
What about the back? Would
you mind checking the back?
Okay, fine, I'll check the back.
♪
Yes!
I'm sorry, there's nothing
left in the back.
Oh, thanks anyway.
Psych!
Somebody's actually
throwing their garbage away
in the trash cans
that we're selling,
so could you check that
out in Home for me?
I appreciate it.
Thank you very much.
- Sandra.
- Hey.
There is a puddle in the
dressing room over there
of I don't know what, actually.
It's kind of viscous, and
it has a very strong odor.
Um, do you think you might
be able to handle it for me?
Oh, of course. I'll
get my bucket.
Boop.
Oh, my God, it's so obvious.
How have I never noticed this?
Ugh.
Hey, Iceman, I was
looking for you.
- Hey.
- Hey, buddy.
Good to see you. Listen,
I gotta bounce,
but next time I'm in town,
I'm gonna ping you,
and we go out for drinks.
Uh, all right.
Hey, I'll buy.
I look forward to it.
All right, great to see you.
Hey, Rex Joshi.
- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah, we met.
Great.
You really want to be that guy?
Heated seats.
The nice suit,
fancy car,
big smile.
I was never gonna go back.
I just...
Welcome to the "no
options" club.
- But it's a cool club.
- Yeah?
- Actually, I'm in it.
- Oh.
Most of America's in it.
We meet on Tuesdays.
- Okay.
- I'll get you on the email.
- Oh, great.
- Hey, Jonah.
I heard about your business
school, I am so sorry.
- Oh, uh, thanks.
- Yeah.
Oh, all right.
You will always have a place
here, till the day you die.
You can die here.
Oh, no, no, that
wasn't about, um, you.
I was just thinking of something
else that made me really happy.
No, that way.
To embrace progress?
To transform?
Cloud 9 is pleased to announce
that our in-store brand "Halo"
has now become "SuperCloud."
A new day has dawned.
All right, there you have it.
So it's a big day today.
We start our rebranding.
Does rebranding mean they're
redesigning the store?
No, we'll be taking our
in-store product "Halo"
and changing it to "SuperCloud."
And how are they different?
That, uh, what I just said.
It used to be called "Halo."
Now it's called SuperCloud.
- Oh.
- Maybe I'm not, um, selling
the excitement of
what's happening today.
Let's see if this helps.
♪
♪ Y'all ready for this? ♪
♪
Wow, that song is a little
longer than I thought.
- What was that, 11 minutes?
- 12
All right, anyway... 12?
Sorry about that.
Uh, moving on, we have buttons
for everybody to wear today,
and there's a VP coming in
to oversee this rollout.
A VP of corporate?
I'm gonna need to borrow
somebody's lipstick.
Not Amy's... way too slutty.
Who's that lady?
Oh, that's Kelsey, from Cloud 9.
She's the new SuperCloud mascot.
Why is a smiling white
lady always the mascot?
'Cause in my experience, usually
they're, like, the first to snap.
She's not wrong.
I personally blame all the
yogurt white ladies eat.
Why didn't they make
it a superhero?
You know, 'cause SuperCloud?
And it could have, like,
a cape or something,
and, like, little cloud muscles.
Yeah, wow, that's...
Clean, it's simple,
it's visual, that...
is probably what it should've been.
Damn.
So all right, let's
just move on.
Here are some words
we'd like you guys to pepper
in to the conversation today
whenever SuperCloud comes
up, obviously, so "cool,"
"millennial," "on fleek..."
Have to go back to the
superhero mascot,
I'm so sorry, that's
just a home run.
Yeah, and he could be
saving people with savings.
, that's good.
- Oh, excuse me.
- Yeah?
Where is the Halo toilet paper?
I could only find this stuff.
Yeah, this is our
new product line:
the SuperCloud, and I have
been ordered to tell you
how excited I am about it.
But I like Halo.
Right, well, apologies, but
we've actually shifted
completely to SuperCloud.
This is not a good time
in my life for this.
Rachel just broke up with me.
I don't know who that is.
I thought I knew who she was.
You know, I gotta tell ya...
Ooh, look out, ladies.
Here comes a stylish dude.
Yeah, somehow he makes
baldness look cute.
Hey, I'm not talking about Jeff.
I'm talking about the other guy.
Yeah, obvs. I was kidding.
Jeff is like the ugliest
guy in the world.
So busted.
Like stretched-out Danny DeVito.
Hey, guys, excuse me.
I want you to meet Rex Joshi.
He's in from the main office.
Hey, call me Mr. Joshi.
Pleasure to meet you.
So good to meet you. So
good to meet you guys.
Let me tell you something:
we are so excited
about this SuperCloud.
We think it's going
straight up to the sky.
So who's gonna help
me get out there
and make this rollout huge?
Big success. Who's with me?
You have a lot of hand gestures.
Always doing something
with those hands.
- You betcha.
- Oh, okay.
- One of those.
- Pshew.
One more time. Stick shift.
We could do that all day.
Hey, sorry to interrupt, guys,
but these boxes really
need to be uniform.
Thank you, sorry, I just
gotta stay on top of them.
Yeah, I'll make
sure they fix it.
Please do.
You are management,
so you're most at fault here.
Okay, let's head over
to Sporting Goods, Rex.
- Sure, yeah.
- Make sure things are in order.
Ooh, that was cold.
Um, have you decided
who you're gonna
take this out on later?
'Cause last week it was me...
Elias!
That is not how you
climb a ladder,
you turd!
Hey, Cheyenne, can you
go wake up this lady
that fell asleep in Electronics?
Last time I tried
something like that,
I got punched in the beans.
Um, can I just buy some of
this discounted Halo stuff
for my baby first?
It's normally so expensive
I can barely afford
her eye shadow.
Okay, but you know
you're not supposed to
buy things while you're
clocked in, right?
Well, can I set it aside for
later before it sells out?
Not supposed to but...
Okay, I'm sorry, no.
You'll have to do it
when your shift's over.
_
_
_
_
No, I-I'm telling you, they...
they feel exactly the same
because they are
exactly the same.
Well, let me at least
try your belly.
I'm not gonna...
Fine, but just be careful.
I'm ticklish.
Um, everything okay over here?
Keep moving, I'm a Cloud
Club Rewards Member.
- It's not a big deal.
- Jonah?
- Rex?
- Wait, I'm sorry, you know him?
Yeah, we went to business
school together.
Dude, what the hell
are you doing here?
Could you pull that up
a little bit higher?
- Pull it up higher?
- I heard you.
Anyway, I just started
driving, and...
and then I saw that
they were hiring here
- That's... that's great.
- Yeah.
Wow, I wouldn't
have guessed that.
I would've figured you were
one of those guys who are on
a voyage of self-discovery.
Oh.
You know, backpacking through
Asia, rolling cigars in Cuba.
Or, as Jonah would
say, "Coo-ba."
- He does that?
- Yeah.
Should I be embarrassed
that I pronounce
it the way native
Coo-banos do, or...?
- You should.
- Okay.
Iceman.
I mean, look at you, man.
It has been too long.
I'm sorry, we're gonna need
to take it back to "Iceman"?
Yeah, that was my
nickname in school.
They, uh, you know, ice in the
veins, cool and collected.
It's because you were always cold in class.
You had that afghan.
That was a blazer. That
was a knit blazer.
Oh, my God. You're Iceman.
I'm gonna hear this
again, aren't I?
Yes, Iceman, you are, Iceman.
"You're the manager, so you're
the most at fault here."
- That guy really sucks.
- Total asshat, right?
- I hate his little eyes.
- I hate his stupid face.
I literally hope he dies.
What?
Yeah, I... I hope he does.
I hope he dies.
I really hope he dies.
Just dead.
Our team formulated a plan
that featured WOM marketing,
message-sending, and, of
course, fluid branding...
Oh, my God, this is amazing.
Look at that little suit.
- It's like his bar mitzvah.
- Aww.
It looks like a
normal-size suit to me.
All those words, and you
said absolutely nothing.
Oh, Rex, thank you for
giving us this gift.
Okay, I think we've seen enough.
Ah!
♪
I need to pull off
the veil of secrecy.
What are you doing?
What is that?
Is that something
you've practiced?
Just a couple times in the
mirror, don't worry about it.
Okay, listen. I
know you're really
stressed out, but, okay,
this isn't you, okay?
People are starting to complain.
Who?
Just, people, okay?
Dina didn't like the way you talked
to her in front of everybody.
She called you an asshat.
An asshat? Well, that's hurtful.
Uh, but I will try to do better.
And just since the veil
of secrecy is off,
I feel like you've been mentioning
your ex-boyfriend a little too much.
Not the time.
Got it.
Veil on.
I love that you and
Chad are still close.
Direct WOM management and
indirect WOM management...
Garrett, can you
please formulate
a global strategy to fold
the yoga pants in Softline?
I will fold them along multiple
distribution channels.
Very clever. So great to
reconnect with you, Rex.
You know what? Blech,
that's kind of
a boring topic, unless...
You rap about it.
- Jonah!
- Okay, party's over.
I love hip-hop.
Hey, at least now,
when you go back,
you know what not to do.
What do you mean, "go back"?
When he goes back to school.
Your enrollment's still active.
Yeah, they said I could
defer for two years, so...
But you're not actually
planning on going back,
are you?
I mean, I hadn't given
it much thought.
I mean, I... I was
not happy there,
so, but you know. I'm not sure.
That's not a no, Jonah!
That's not a no!
Nice job with this
area, everyone.
Good job managing, Dina.
Thank you, Jeff.
Oh, also, uh, sorry if I've
been a little bit harsh lately,
but if anybody has
a problem with me,
I prefer they say it to my
face than call me an asshat
behind my back.
Good job with this area.
Well, it seems we've got
a rat in the store.
I'm not mad. I'm not upset.
I'll allow myself to
feel those things after
I've hunted down and torn
apart whatever little weasel
tattled on me to Jeff.
Does anyone else hear that?
It's like a
high-pitched ringing.
Hey, you, uh, wanted to see me?
Yeah, please, have a seat.
I was reviewing my files,
and I noticed there
was something wrong
with your contract,
so you need to sign a new one.
Just standard boilerplate,
you don't really
need to read it.
"The undersigned agrees to
work exclusively at Cloud 9
for the next 30 years"?
This is very flattering, but
I obviously can't sign that.
Okay, well, that's,
uh, disappointing.
What is it that you want?
Is it... is it money?
- No.
- 'Cause there's no money
left in the budget, but
I could fire someone.
- Glenn.
- Maybe Larry.
You don't need to fire Larry.
Oh, God, the poor man has lupus.
It's not about...
No, no, I'll do it. He's gone.
Glenn, look, I'm not going
anywhere anytime soon,
but I can't promise that
it's never gonna happen.
Well, then, you're fired.
What?
Of course you're not fired.
I love you!
Okay, well, thank you.
Do you love me?
I'm sorry?
Hey, we need to talk.
I know, right?
What's going on, girl?
No, not a gay talk.
We need to talk about
who the snitch is.
Now, it had to be somebody
in that room, but who?
Okay, it couldn't
have been Ramona,
her husband doesn't let
her talk to other men.
Wasn't Tim, his jaw's
still wired shut,
after talking to Ramona.
I know it wasn't me.
So that just leaves
Justine, Elias,
Sandra, you, uh...
What?
You know how I hate to gossip,
but I was out back last week,
and I saw Jeff making out with...
Sandra.
Sandra?
Yeah, man on woman.
It was disgusting.
Oh, my God, it was Sandra.
Oh, I am gonna drop-kick that
bitch back into whatever
volcano she crawled out of...
Wait, um, wouldn't it be worse
if we didn't even tell
her that we know,
just ice her out,
never talk to her again
and don't tell her why?
It's pretty much the meanest
thing you can do to someone.
I don't know.
I didn't have a single friend in
high school, and I loved it there.
Yeah, but,
Sandra's not as strong as you.
- You're right.
- Yeah.
She's the weakest
person I've ever met.
So, uh,
just had a really weird
convo with Glenn.
Look, um, I don't have
a crystal ball, okay?
I... I don't... I don't know
what's gonna happen in life,
but I know one thing,
and that is that we
are always gonna be friends.
Hmm, you say that, but I don't
know if I can believe you.
- You can.
- No, I... I think that you'll
probably just forget about us.
No, Amy, I would never
forget about you guys.
You guys are... are
everything to me.
You're just this little
flicker of sunlight
that brightened our lives
for a short while.
And now you must take that light
to someone else, but
it's okay because
a little piece of your
magic lives inside
each and every one of us.
Okay.
Be free.
Forget I said anything.
No, wait, don't go, please.
Who's gonna force
me to try tahini?
♪
♪ They say I went from being a
pimp to being a rap mogul ♪
♪ They spitting trill rap
songs back on track slow ♪
♪ On my rosé sippin'
black bottles on them ♪
♪ Up out of San Antone
better get the math real ♪
♪ Feel trill, got boys placing
bets on me, big yellin' ♪
♪ Got haters even plexin'
on me trying to blast me ♪
♪ Blast me, blast me ♪
Oh, whatcha got there, Eugene?
You would not believe
the amount of stuff that
gets misstocked here.
Baby food in the barbeque.
I found shampoo in jeans.
I mean, who would do that?
I don't know, probably some jerk
or desperate mom or whatever.
Yeah, well, I worked really
hard rounding it all up.
I stayed two hours past
my shift, but I still...
I'm all out of trophies, Eugene.
That's okay.
♪ Life is fine at Cloud 9 ♪
♪ Life is great...♪ Hello, sir!
♪ Work starts at eight ♪
Two wolves I couldn't
do it, but one wolf...
- Hey, guys.
- I could take it.
Did anyone watch "Vampire
Diaries" last night?
Damien's really gotten
out of control.
You stupid slut!
Dina...
- I can't hold it in any longer.
- What's happening?
Sandra is having an
affair with Jeff.
- No.
- Oh!
Don't you deny it! You
were seen kissing
on the loading dock.
Ooh, Sandra, Sandra, Sandra!
That's crazy, boo!
I didn't know you had it in you.
Dish, girl.
I don't think we need to
be talking about that.
Oh, I got questions,
like, when did it start?
About two weeks ago.
He pulled me into his Kia,
and he said to me, "Sandra
take out your taters."
And I did.
And I put them in his face.
Ooh, yeah!
Hey, sorry about before.
Oh, that's fine.
I can take a little ribbing.
Yeah, it went on for
a really long time.
Elias jumped in on it.
He does a really good
impression of you.
It's like "Greetings,
gentlemen."
I can't do it.
Look, uh, I just
don't want you to think
that I got one foot
out the door, okay?
I... I'm here,
just like everybody else.
Mm...
not just like everybody else.
I mean, you can
leave if you want.
But I'm not.
But you can.
- But I'm not.
- But you can,
and that's the difference
between being stranded
on a desert island
or going on a nice
tropical vacation.
You wanna think that, fine.
I happen to think it's
exactly the same.
Okay.
I mean, if you want me to cancel
my deferment, just say the word.
Yeah, okay.
- Cancel it.
- What?
If you think there's honestly
no difference, cancel it.
Okay, great, yeah.
I will, I'll do it...
I'll do it tonight.
No time like the present.
Okay. I'll do it now.
- Great.
- It makes no difference to me.
I mean, if you need this,
then sure, let's, uh...
I'm just gonna find the number.
It's in an email so I gotta
search for it for...
just hang on one second.
I keep meaning to
update the new OS.
You know what? I'm gonna just...
I'm gonna do that,
I'm gonna do that
right now, real quickly.
Ugh, "estimated wait
time four hours"?
Hey, it's okay.
It's... it's not me.
It's the Wi-Fi.
This is probably a
router placement issue.
Jeff and I have these cute
nicknames for each other.
He calls me "Deliciousness."
Ooh.
And I call him Mr. Man.
Yeah, let's not forget she was
blabbing to Jeff about us.
Ain't nobody care about that.
Yeah, I'm just morbidly
intrigued at this point.
Do you have sex in his hotel?
Oh, yeah, all the time.
Is there a coffee
machine in there?
Yep, one of those pod ones.
Do they have decaf?
- I think so.
- Ooh.
Yes!
And you guys will keep
this a secret, right?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
we got you, Deliciousness.
Amy to Glenn's office, please.
Amy, report to Glenn's
office, please.
So we just call each other
into Glenn's office now?
And that registration
is under "Jonah Simms"?
Yes, S-I-M-M-S.
Okay, let me pull
up your records.
Thank you.
What are you doing?
If you think some
college deferral
that I'm never even gonna use
makes us so different,
I don't want it.
I was just trying
to prove a point.
- Hang up.
- No.
- Hang up.
- No. No.
- No, no, you.
- Cut it out.
- God, your arms are very strong.
- I know.
- Unusually strong.
- Okay, look, fine,
we're in the exact same
position, all right?
Just hang up, don't do
something you're gonna regret.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Mr. Simms?
Uh, hey, uh, yeah,
you know what?
I'm... I think I'm
actually gonna...
It turns out your
registration lapsed
a month ago, so you don't
have to worry about it.
Um, what?
That's... no, that's, mm-mm.
That's a mistake. I,
uh, I believe I have
a two-year deferral.
Yes, two years from your
initial enrollment,
not from when you left school,
unless you apply to extend it...
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah,
let's just go ahead and do that.
Well, you would've had to apply
while you were still registered.
Right. Right, right, right,
right, right, right.
Listen, uh, how would I go about
re-registering so
that I could apply
to extend the deferral?
Uh, you don't.
I mean, what's the difference?
You were gonna cancel
anyway, right?
No, I was bluffing
that I was cancelling
to show you how alike we are.
Uh, hey. Hi. What's your name?
Vicky! Uh, hey, listen,
we are going to find
a solution, Vicky.
I don't need to
calm down, Vicky.
I wasn't raising my voice.
Well, now I am.
Is all the clearance gone?
Yes, Halo is officially over.
What about the back? Would
you mind checking the back?
Okay, fine, I'll check the back.
♪
Yes!
I'm sorry, there's nothing
left in the back.
Oh, thanks anyway.
Psych!
Somebody's actually
throwing their garbage away
in the trash cans
that we're selling,
so could you check that
out in Home for me?
I appreciate it.
Thank you very much.
- Sandra.
- Hey.
There is a puddle in the
dressing room over there
of I don't know what, actually.
It's kind of viscous, and
it has a very strong odor.
Um, do you think you might
be able to handle it for me?
Oh, of course. I'll
get my bucket.
Boop.
Oh, my God, it's so obvious.
How have I never noticed this?
Ugh.
Hey, Iceman, I was
looking for you.
- Hey.
- Hey, buddy.
Good to see you. Listen,
I gotta bounce,
but next time I'm in town,
I'm gonna ping you,
and we go out for drinks.
Uh, all right.
Hey, I'll buy.
I look forward to it.
All right, great to see you.
Hey, Rex Joshi.
- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah, we met.
Great.
You really want to be that guy?
Heated seats.
The nice suit,
fancy car,
big smile.
I was never gonna go back.
I just...
Welcome to the "no
options" club.
- But it's a cool club.
- Yeah?
- Actually, I'm in it.
- Oh.
Most of America's in it.
We meet on Tuesdays.
- Okay.
- I'll get you on the email.
- Oh, great.
- Hey, Jonah.
I heard about your business
school, I am so sorry.
- Oh, uh, thanks.
- Yeah.
Oh, all right.
You will always have a place
here, till the day you die.
You can die here.
Oh, no, no, that
wasn't about, um, you.
I was just thinking of something
else that made me really happy.
No, that way.