Superstore (2015–…): Season 1, Episode 10 - Demotion - full transcript

Can we please try and
shoo the toddlers away

from the sunglasses stand?

I know that's where
they all like to go,

but we're getting a
lot of damage there.

Also from the lower yogurts.

They tend to just want
to put their fingers in.

Something going on
with you and Dina?

No. What? No.

I don't know, man, you
guys are exchanging

little peek-a-boo glances,

and it's making
me uncomfortable.



Okay. The other night,

when we were all
locked in the store,

Dina kind of... came on to me.

- Wow.
- Yeah, right?

I didn't know Dina was into fancy
little porcelain doll-men.

So, while we haven't
caught the raccoon yet,

I do feel that we're starting
to have a better understanding

of his patterns.

So, you tap that?

No, I felt bad.

And I told her that I
wasn't comfortable

dating a supervisor,

and she was cool with it.

Quick thinking.



Moving on, one final
announcement from Dina.

Effective immediately,

I will be stepping
down from my position

of assistant manager
to associate level

so that I may concentrate on...
personal matters.

Well, I think I
speak for everyone

when I say that's
really, really sad.

I know that I'm gonna miss

your constant criticism
of me a lot.

I'm gonna miss that too.

Sure there's nothing we
can say to make you stay?

Well, you know,
there's always...

Oh, too bad, so sad.

Well, let's have an
extra fun chant.

Come on, give me a C!

All: C!

Why can't I stop smiling?

I can't believe she's
stepping down.

Hmm. I wonder what her
personal matters could be.

Hey, Jonah. You got any ideas?

Me? No, I don't... Mm-mm.

Are her birds okay?

Has anybody checked
the live webcam?

Maybe she has gambling debts
and she had to take time off

to do favors for the mob
boss that she owes money to.

Or maybe it's something else.

No, I wonder who's
gonna replace her.

A lot of people have been
suggesting it should be me.

Kind of a groundswell.

You know, she did
mention a few weeks ago

that her grandmother was sick.

Oh, that's great!

No, I didn't mean...
No, it's, uh...

I was just saying, you know,
like, if I get that age,

somebody put a bullet in me.

♪ Do what they say,
say what you mean ♪

♪ One thing leads to another ♪

♪ You told me something... ♪

I'm here, reporting for duty.

Oh, you're gonna
be working here?

With me?

Yep. But I don't want this
to be awkward for you

just because I used
to be above you,

so go ahead, boss lady.

Tell me what to do.

Okay, well, I'm the boss now,

so you better do what I say.

I make that joke. You
don't make that joke.

Okay, where do we start? Look
at all these fun colors.

Hey, Glenn, you
wanted to see me?

Amy, come look out
this window with me.

See, most people would
see a loading dock,

but I see a...

I don't want to be
Assistant Manager.

But you didn't even
look out the window.

I know. Look, I really
appreciate the offer, I do.

But it's basically more work
for the same amount of money.

Since when have you been
in this for the money?

Pretty much from day one.

Oh!

Things are crazy
for me right now.

I'm taking these night
college courses...

I can't.

Okay. I'll figure
something out, I guess...

but at least come over and
look out the window with me.

It is a nice loading dock.

It's a nice loading dock.

Good morning, Ma'am.

Do you want to not
look so tired?

Your loss.

Hey, you. Where have you been?

Me... oh, big store.
You know, I...

Sometimes I'll run into
people, and they'll say,

"Hey, have you
been on vacation?"

and I'll be like, "Nah, I
was here the whole time."

I love how you observe things.

Yeah. Listen, Dina, the...

- Do you like risotto?
- Huh?

I make a nice risotto.
I was thinking

if you wanted to come
over later tonight,

I could make us some.

And I have "Hoosiers"
on Blu-ray.

Well, that sounds
like a great evening.

Yeah. Gene Hackman, so...

Right. Dina, do you think
this is really a good idea?

You know, the whole
giving up your job thing?

Oh, quitting that job

was the best thing that's
ever happened to me.

- It was?
- Heck, yeah.

I was getting a stress rash in
the shape of Abraham Lincoln.

But now it's disappearing.

I mean, his hat's
almost completely gone.

Why am I going on about it?

I mean, you're gonna
see it soon enough.

Um...

But...

I needed a change, honestly.

Ever since my Nana died, I've
just been in such a rut.

Oh, no, I'm s... I didn't...
I'm so sorry.

Yeah, sweet lady.

But it was probably
for the best, though.

- I'm sure.
- I mean, she would not

have been cool with the whole...

I don't really know
how else to say it...

Jewishness of this relationship.

Uh, the relationship

Is something that we
should talk about.

Yeah. You know, I'm not
normally an insecure person,

but now that it's all out in
the open, I gotta tell you,

there was a couple of
times where I thought,

"Am I being delusional?"
"Does he even like me?"

"Like, I think he does."

Or is he just stringing me
along like some sociopath?"

Yeah, no.

Nope, nope, that's not me.
I'm not a psychopath.

- Sociopath.
- What's even the difference?

A psychopath doesn't
have a conscience.

A sociopath knows what
he's doing is wrong

but does it anyway.

8:00 tonight?

I can't say no.

Hate to see you go, but
love to watch you leave.

God, you look exhausted too.

So I realized the answer to
our assistant manager problem

has been right in front
of us, literally forever.

You're gonna promote Myrtle?

I decided to promote
based on seniority,

and she has both kinds.

Plus, she has
leadership experience.

She was head
switchboard operator

for the Pall Mall
cigarette company.

Uh, yeah, but...

maybe you should interview
some other people first.

Well, I'm not very
good with interviews.

I like just about
everybody I meet.

I have virtually no standards.

Okay, well, I could
help you find someone.

That is, if you haven't already
offered Myrtle the job.

No...

Well, I did, but I don't
think she heard me.

Whoo! Ooh! Aah!

So, instead of just telling
her you were not interested,

you said you would go to
her house to eat risotto

and watch Gene Hackman
inspire a small town?

I'm not the bad news guy.

I'm the good news guy, you know?

"Nicole had a baby!"
"Aden made varsity!"

"Did you hear about Dean?
He beat Lupus!"

People love hearing
good news from me.

Yeah, and you're totally
unique in that way.

You need to toughen up.
All right, see this dude?

Whatever I ask you,
the answer is no.

What?

- I need to return this blender.
- Oh, okay.

Well, it looks like
you've got the receipt,

It has not been opened,

and you purchased
it within 14 days.

Can I give him a refund?

Sorry, no refunds.

What do you mean? Why not?

Yeah, it seems like a
pretty valid return.

I do not have a good
answer for that.

So...

Why don't we give
him store credit?

- Would that work for you?
- Yeah, that's fine.

No store credit.

I'd like to speak
to your manager.

No.

You haven't seen the last of me.

So what was the point of that?

I don't know. I'm bored.

All right, ma'am. I cannot
stress this enough.

You need to be... so still.

Like a... statue.

Dina? Do you want me
to take over anything

near the eyes?

Nope. I'm fine.
Learning on the job.

Her eyes are so pretty, though.

I'm almost wondering,

what if you don't do
any eyeliner at all?

Well, we've got to do
something to draw attention

away from that chin.

I said don't move.

Or do you want me to strap
you into this chair?

Don't look at her. She
can't help you right now.

♪ Rainy days and Mondays
always get me down ♪

Strength of a lion.

Okay, this seems like something

I need to know more about.

Oh, I'm working on
my presentation

for assistant manager.

I'm want to show them that I
have the strength of a lion,

the intelligence of a dolphin,

and the determination
of a worker ant.

And this is just what I
look like on a rabbit.

I'm sold, but... what
are you gonna do

for the talent portion
of the interview?

Talent portion?

I see we got some work to do.

Okay, so, let's address
the elephant in the room.

Why does a pharmacist want to
slum it as an assistant manager?

I mean, is this a prank show?
Is there a camera watching?

Are we being Plunked?

Just...

Truth is, I need a break.

Have you ever held a dying
man's hand in yours

while you had to tell him

that we don't accept rewards
points for his medication?

He literally died while
I was holding his hand.

I don't think that's true.

Well, I guess we'll never know.

I got to say, Sandra,
I am impressed.

I did not expect you to be
interested in this job,

but way to go,
showing initiative.

Oh.

You're right. I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have come here.

Ow! Sorry.

Sorry.

Is this about the headphones?

- What headphones?
- Oh! I don't know.

I mean, I didn't take them.

They probably forgot to
load them on the truck.

Right.

I mean, if that's
what was stolen.

We don't know if
something was, first.

That should be the
first question we ask,

before we make... accusations.

- Is this your family?
- Oh, yeah.

They're so clean.

Your resume says you have a lot
of experience babysitting.

Actually, it just says,
"watching kids."

Here's what I'm gonna need.
I'll need a 40% salary bump,

access to a company car...

Does the position come
with stock options?

- Um...
- You know what,

let me answer that.

The position will be
coming with stock options.

When I was a teenager,

I crashed my father's
Hudson Super

and blamed it on a Chinese.

Okay, and what about your
three greatest weaknesses?

If you don't believe
me, then why don't you

go check the tapes, okay?
Just check the tapes, man.

It's all in the tapes.
Check the tapes.

Check the tapes.
check the tapes.

Yeah, all right, we will.

You guys actually tape us?

That's so messed up.

Let me make this
very easy for you.

I'm gonna give you five
seconds to make a decision,

and then I walk.

Five... four...

This one's eyes are dead,

but this one's eyes are alive.

- What do you call her?
- Oh, her name is...

- Do not tell him her name.
- Okay.

Nope... offer's off the table.

You blew it.

- Oh, I knew it.
- Oh, well, so sad.

Thanks for coming in anyway.

But it's your lucky day.

I'm gonna give you
one more chance.

Now my demands are doubled.

Okay... ten, nine... Agh!

No, Mateo, your
future is not here,

in Manila...

It lies in America.

All aboard! Next
stop, Ellis Island.

No, Rodrigo, stand back.
You're too close to the edge.

You'll fall!

No, Mateo, I want to be
the first to touch...

Lady Libertyyyyyyyy...

Oh, my God, you were right, Mateo...
you're always right!

It actually goes on
for much longer.

I've seen enough. I like it.

You got the steak.

Now it's time to make it sizzle.

Thank you so much for
shopping at Cloud 9.

Have a heavenly day.

Next custom... Dina.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Just on my break,

so I thought I'd pick up
a couple odds and ends.

Cool, cool.

Famous risotto.

Box of chocolates... you never
know what you're gonna get.

Multiple sizes.

You never know what
you're gonna get.

I'm sorry, can you
explain the order again?

As you go from left to right,

then each one is worse
than the one before it.

- Okay.
- But,

If you go from right to left,

then... each one is worse
than the one before it.

Maybe your standards
are too high.

I mean, we're a retail
department store.

We're not hiring the
King of England here.

I just don't want
to hire someone

who's gonna make our
daily lives miserable.

Amy, come have a look
out the window with me.

You know, in times of crisis,

good people do what needs
to be done, and...

Amy! Are you leaving
or just peeing?

Leaving.

Okay. Just wanted to
know if I should wait.

♪ I'm so fancy you
already know ♪

♪ I'm in the fast lane ♪

♪ From LA to Tokyo ♪

♪ I'm so fancy can't
you taste this gold ♪

♪ Remember my name
'bout to blow ♪

♪ Who that, who that, I-G-G-Y ♪

♪ That do that, do
that, I-G-G-Y ♪

♪ Who that, who that, I-G-G-Y ♪

♪ Blow ♪

Okay.

You're so welcome.

I can't believe we
reuse this stuff.

Doesn't seem sanitary.

Well, there's usually not
so much blood on them.

Well, even a little
bit of blood...

There's never any blood!

Hey, can I talk to
you for a second...

privately?

Yeah, you can talk to me
whatever way you like.

Step into my office.

Okay.

♪ Housewares, groceries,
and sporting goods ♪

♪ I know all the departments
like a manager should ♪

Good. More street.

♪ Time cards, schedules,
have I got your attention? ♪

♪ 'Cause I wanna talk to y'all
about Loss Prevention ♪

Mateo for Assistant Manager!

Mew mew mew. Peace!

I think you can go bigger.

Okay, look. Dina...

This... this is tricky, um...

Shh, you're being too loud!

Sorry, sorry.

Okay! It's not a motel.

Love's just in the
air today, I guess.

- Yeah, listen.
- Dina, the...

There are some things that
I wanted to say to you,

and I've been having a
tough time saying it,

so I recorded it on my phone

and I would like to play it...

Hey, relax.

Whatever it is, we will deal
with it together, as a couple.

Okay, I'm just gonna... I'm
gonna press play, okay?

Just... just force
myself to press play.

Gala apples, hummus, kale chips.

Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no.

Skinny girl margarita mix... That's not...
that's not it.

- Hey, it's okay.
- It's the wrong voice memo.

Everything's awkward in
the beginning, you know?

When you're still getting
to know someone...

- Maybe if I sort by date.
- Before you've even kissed.

- Just one second.
- Maybe we should just

get that part out of the way.

What part?

This part.

Uh...

Oh, your teeth taste so good.

Thank y...

Dina, I'm so sorry,

but I don't have the
same feelings for you

that you do for - Oh, I'm sorry.

I felt like I Need to tell you

before either of us did
anything that we regret..

I'm... that wasn't...
I'm so sorry...

I gave you the wrong imprison.

That phone has a really
good speaker on it.

An amazing person, and yr
friendship means so much-

Dina. Dina!

I just hope we can
we can continue...

Okay, they're gone.

- Wow, can you believe...
- That guy was a wuss!

Yeah, he was the worst.
Bend down a little more.

I'm trying to look at
myself in the mirror.

Mm.

I should say something to her.

But you just broke up with
the lady over voice memo.

Maybe just let her chill
out for a little bit.

You know what? I'm not
leaving it like this.

Whoa, whoa, hey, hey,
no, no, no, don't...

Attention, shoppers:

Are you about to do
something you might regret?

We here at Cloud 9 encourage
you to reconsider.

Just ask yourself,

"Am I doing this to
help someone else

or to make myself feel better?"

Yeah, I'm still waiting on
a shipment for Housewares.

Mm-hmm.

Hey, Glenn?

Weren't the shift schedules
supposed to come out today?

Yeah, I'm on the phone.

Okay, I just need to know if
I should come in tomorrow.

Yeah, come in tomorrow. Sure...

What time?

I don't care! Any time!

No, no, not anytime
for the shipment.

Hello?

- Hey, Glenn?
- Mm?

Is everything okay?

Yeah, just trying to
do two jobs here.

I think if I can just start
sleeping in tiny little bursts

while I'm already blinking...

So, you're gonna try and do
both of these jobs yourself?

- That's crazy.
- What if someone had told

Ben Affleck that he
couldn't act and direct?

Then we never would've had
that movie about Iran, or...

Or, whatever... I'm
sorry, I never saw it.

- Glenn!
- What?

I'll take the job.

Oh, thank you!

You have no idea how
hard this has been.

Though it has
dramatically increased

my respect for Ben Affleck.

Well, today didn't work
out exactly as I planned.

Don't bother asking for details.
It's none of your business.

But I did kill it in cosmetics.

Yeah, you sure did.

You could improve, though.

I'm gonna bring a grip
squeezer tomorrow.

You need to control
their faces more.

Hey, Dina, listen.

I know I should probably
leave this alone,

but I just wanted to
say I'm really sorry

about the way I
handled everything.

I mean, I... you're
an amazing person.

It's fine. You don't
have to do this.

No, I do, because I mean it.
I mean it.

You know, you're gonna
meet someone terrific,

and I just hope you and I can...

- Hey, Mama.
- Hey, you ready?

Yeah, I'm psyched. I've
never seen "Hoosiers."

Oh, it'll change your life.
Let's go.

That was fast.

Look, this doesn't have
to be weird, okay?

It just didn't work out.
Sure, you're cute,

but there's, uh... there's
a lot of cute around.

See you tomorrow.

Oh, hey, I should ask,
are you okay with birds?

I have a lot of birds.

I really appreciate it, Amy,

and I know the job
might be tough,

but there are a lot of perks,

like 5% additional discount,

financial aid for
continuing education,

and... oh, and a
closer parking spot.

- Wait, what?
- Yeah.

You'll be parking next to me.

Open your door with
caution, please.

No, they help you pay
for college classes?

Oh, yeah, but I think only half.

Half...

Yes!

Huh.

Interviewing for
Assistant Manager,

Mateo...

Fernando...

Aquino...

Liwanag!

♪♪

Are you ready?

Mateo, I'm sorry, I just
offered the job to Amy.

I didn't know you
were interested.

Oh.

I see.

Congratulations.

Thank you.