Supernatural (2005–…): Season 9, Episode 18 - Meta Fiction - full transcript

When Castiel rejects Metatron's offer to join forces, a surprising plan is set in motion; Gadreel is apprehended.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it -
Sam: Dean, I-I could really use
your help down here.

I'm getting close, Sam.

I can't drop the ball on Abaddon
right now.

Cain: I can give you the mark, Dean,
if it's what you truly want.

But you have to know with
the mark comes a great burden.

What is it you want of me,

Rebuild heaven.

You want to be
my second-in-command,

prove you're ready.

Gadreel, we are writing
our own epic story here.

I got my Grace back.

Not mine per se,
but it'll do.

Angels fighting Angels
has to stop somewhere.

[ Grunts, screams ]

You've showed me
that there is a choice.

I'm no leader.

I will follow you.

And I am not
the only one.

[ Record-needle static ]

[ "Fanfare-Rondeau"
by Jean-Joseph Mouret plays ]

[ Typewriter keys clacking ]

What makes a story work?

Is it the plot, the characters,
the text?

The subtext?

[ Glass thuds ]

And who gives a story meaning?

Is the writer?

Or you?

Tonight, I thought
I would tell you a little story

and let you decide.

♪ Supernatural 9x18 ♪
Meta Fiction
Original Air Date on April 15, 2014

== sync, corrected by elderman ==

[ knob squeaks ]

[ Sighs ]

Yeah. All right.

Thanks, Carlos.

Listen, you, uh, if you catch wind of
any other demon activity,

give me a holler,
all right?

Appreciate it.




A dozen demon-related cases,

people without souls acting out,

But no sign of Abaddon.

Looks like she's vanished.

Well, we just got to
keep digging.


You okay?

Yeah. I'm fine.

Let's get to work.

All right.

[ Tone warbling ]

[ Fabric rips ]

[ Door hinges creak ]

[ Warbling intensifies ]

[ Warbling stops ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Panting ]
Please -- please don't!

Don't hurt me.

I'm not gonna hurt you.

It's okay.

What's your name?


what happened here?

[ Breathes shakily ]

Yeah, I -- I heard it, too.
What was it?

I don't know.

It, uh,
it sounded familiar.

It sounded like heaven.

It's so strange
down here.

I, uh, followed the tone

and found so many of my brothers
and sisters had, as well.

It felt safe here,

and then the doors slammed shut
and a strange angel arrived.

He said he worked
for the new God.

For Metatron?


He made us an offer --

join Metatron,
fight for him,

and those that did would one day
be allowed to return to heaven.

Return to heaven?

[ Chuckles ]

[ Groans ]
I didn't believe him, either.

But he said
he would take us home.

Some angels joined him.

My friends and I refused,
and, uh...

[ Sighs ]

I'm sorry for your loss.

For all our loss.

[ Grunts ]

[ Exhales sharply ]

You're Castiel,
aren't you?


You took a stand
against Bartholomew.

Are you going to help us,
lead us against Metatron?

I'm no leader.

But you --

I am no leader, Hannah.

But I will find Metatron,
and I make him pay.

Let me help you.

Let us help you.

You are safer
away from me.

Now, this angel
who attacked you,

what was his name?


Gadreel is working
for Metatron?

Sam: For how long?
I don't know.

[ Door closes ]

So, Metatron made Gadreel
kill Kevin?

It would explain a lot,

and there have been
no new prophets,

which Metatron could have fixed
to his advantage.

And Gadreel said that angels
are returning to heaven?

How? I thought that the spell
was irreversible.

That's what Crowley said.

let's just find Gadreel

and -- and beat some answers
out of him.

Yeah, here's something
to start with that.

Uh...Hold on, I'm, uh...

Sending you a photo
of the symbol

that drew all the angels in.

[ Computer keys clack ]

Got it.

It's acting as some kind
of angel siren.

I think it's a spell.

The ingredients used
to create it were very odd --

Griffin feathers,
bones of a fairy.

I've never seen it

Yeah. Me, neither.

All right.
Let me see what I can find.

"Honor bar."

What's honorable about
a miniature bar in a motel room?


How are you, Dean?

I'm fine, Cass.
How about you?

I miss my wings.

Life on the road...smells.

[ Chuckles ]



Listen, I got a match,

and it's not from the lore --
it's from police records.

Looks like
that symbol you found

was spotted
at a handful of crime scenes

the last couple days,
all multiple homicides.

And where were
these crime scenes?

Uh, Utah --
Baker, Hill Valley.

And I'm
in Bishop's Falls, Utah.

Also looks like
most of the crime scenes

were in industrial areas.

Looks like Gadreel
is heading north.

the next big town?

There are two.
It could be Auburn or Ogden.

All right, you take Auburn,
we'll take Ogden --

meet in the middle.

[ Electricity buzzes ]

[ Buzzing stops ]

Didn't we work a case
in Ogden?

Yeah. It was a -- it was
a witch situation, right?


There was that kid in town
that helped us, wasn't there?

Yes. We should call him,
see if he's still in business.

What was his name?

[ Bells jingle ]

[ Door closes ]

Good afternoon.

It's afternoon?

I wonder
if I may procure from you

the feathers of a Griffin.

Uh [Chuckles] we got
some off-the-menu items,

but, uh, this ain't
Diagon Alley, man.

[ Chuckles ]

I saw the Hunter signs
on the door, young man.

You have what I seek.

Griffin feathers,

Not exactly looking to trip
the light fantastic, are we?

Humans never cease
to amaze me.

Excuse me?

I'm curious --
do you also have fairy bones?

It does not matter
what realm they were from.

[ Chuckles ]
[ Box thuds ]

Griffins and fairies --
the hell you hunting, man?



Let me see
what we have here.

[ Sighs ]

[ Electricity buzzes ]

[ Slow jazz music plays ]

Sometimes, you need a break

from the hustle and bustle
of city life.


you need #casaerotica.

Casa erotica.

That's inappropriate.

[ Knock on door ]


Remember me, bucko?


I'm gonna take that as a yes.
[ Snaps fingers ]

I need your help,

I thought you were dead.


You can't take the trick
out of the Trickster.

So, I assume
you faked your own death?

And I assume
you weren't let into Mensa

while I was gone.

Where have you been?

Ohhh, you know [sighs]
hither with a side of yon.

I was hiding,
captain side eyes,

in the safest place
in the universe -- heaven.

But then you
and the other two stooges

had to go and ruin Christmas,
now, didn't you?


Oh, cry me a river.


I dropped, I hid,

I finally watched
"Downton Abbey."

But then,
your BFF, Metatron,

sent his minions out
looking for me.

Apparently, he thinks
since I'm an archangel

that I have extra juice.

And that you're a threat?

Yeah, but I got hurt
in the fall, too,

used most of my juice
to get back into porn.

That came out wrong.

So did that.

Uh, the point is,
I've been on the run.

But then,
a few weeks ago,

somebody started playing
my song.

The angel siren.


The horn of Gabriel --

one of dad's
little party favors

that I never got around
to messing with.

Metatron dug it up
and started blowing,

so I came out of hiding.


There's safety in numbers.

But Metatron was using it
to trap angels,

not unite them.

It wasn't Metatron.

It was his second in command --


That old chestnut?

What do you want from me?

Your help, Columbo.

I'm getting the band
back together.

We're going
on the kill Metatron tour,

and you're looking
at the new front man.


[ Bells jingle ]

Dean: Got an open box
of feathers over here.

[ Gasps ]


We got to find Gadreel before
he lights up the bat signal.

This is Dean's other other cell,

so you must know what to do.

[ Beep ]

Dean, it's me.
I'm --

Ho, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Hands-free much?
[ Sighs ]

Both on the wheel.
I'm precious cargo.

Hey, what's up, shorties?

Remember me,
the guy who died for your sins?

No, not the cat
with the beard and sandals --

the hot one.

Hey, thank you so much

for the flowers
and condolences --

really meant a lot to the fam.

Any old how, your boy toy and I
are rolling our way

towards your
top-secret domicile.

Call to discuss.

Those kooky kids.

So, you've been back
for months.

What have you seen
out there?

After it was
raining winged men, hallelujah?

Well, you know --
total nigh-biblical chaos,

Crowley and Aba-douche
duking it out.

Good times.

And then there's our peeps,
scattered like confetti.

There has been
a lot of confusion.

You think?

Most angels aren't like us,

They can't handle
this whole free-will thing.

They're sheep, drones.

But us?
We're different.

We're rebels --

one without a cause,
one with.

I'm just a soldier.

Bitch, please.

You've been God
more often than dad has.

[ Chuckling ] Yeah.

Look how that worked out.

Well, go ahead.

Be a soldier
all you want.

I'm gonna need
as many as I can find.

Why are you doing this,

I always run...

From dad,
from the family.

I don't
want to run anymore.

I want to do
what I was meant to do -- lead.

Well, we need a leader.

And I'm happy
it's gonna be you.

A little low on gas,
aren't we?

[ Bell dings ]

[ Engine shuts off ]

smell that cancer.

[ Sniffs deeply ]

Gabriel: Uh...

Remember the minions of Metatron
I mentioned?

[ Lock clicks ]

Cass, it's Sam again.

Call us.
We need your help.

[ Lighter clicks ]
Dean: Hey, douchebag.

Remember me?

We'll never keep these guys
out of here.

I know.
So...We fight.

No. I fight.

[ Breathing heavily ]

I lied before.

I never watched
"Downton Abbey."

I was just trying
to fit in.

Oh, and I do have
some archangel juice left.

I can hold these boneheads off
long enough.

Long enough for what?

For you
to get out of here.

No, I'm not leaving you.

Yes, you are.

Those guys will cut you
to ribbons.

But I can stall them long enough
for you to amscray.

And you can take
my place.

What are you talking about?

The angels need a leader,

and it's got to be
somebody like us --

somebody different.


I know you don't want
this burden, Castiel.

Neither do I.

What if I fail again?

You won't.

You can't.

Thank you.

Shut up.

Haven't got all day,

Was any of this real?

What the hell
are you talking about?

Cass, go!

So, what --
we both die here?

You're already dead.


[ Snaps fingers ]

What gave it all away?

My coat was torn
earlier today.

Ah, crap.

I really hate
continuity errors.

none of this is real,

and I'm guessing
I'm no longer in the motel.

Here's the thing --

none of it was real,
but all of it was true.

Whose truth --
yours or Metatron's?

Just hear him out,
would you?

He's just trying to help you.

Really? How?

[ Groans ]

[ Chuckles ]

Sorry -- didn't read
the whole script,

just, uh,
skimmed for my parts.

Well, it's good to see you,
old bean.


[ Sighs ]

Are you dead?

[ Snaps fingers ]

[ "Fanfare-Rondeau"
by Jean-Joseph Mouret plays ]

[ Typewriter keys clacking ]

What makes a story work?

If this is like looking
into a fun-house mirror for me,

I cannot imagine
what it is like for you.

How long have you been working
for Metatron?

I will not talk,
and you cannot make me.


I have been you,
Sam Winchester.

Your insides reek
of shame and weakness.

[ Grunts ]

Sam, Sam, Sam! Sam.
Come here.

Metatron: Tonight, I thought
I'd tell you a little story...

Let you decide.

[ Sighs ]

That was my plan, anyway.
[ Music stops ]

[ Grunts ]

I guess
that's where my story failed.


[ Chuckles ]


This is "The Curious Incident,"
eh, inspector Gregory?


Inspector Gregory.

Sherlock Holmes.

"Silver Blaze"?

You have been around

since scaly things
crawled out of the muck.

Would it have killed you to pick
up a book, watch a movie?

[ Sighs ]

I know
it's a bit of a retcon,

but it's gonna make this whole
conversation a lot easier.

[ Grunts, screams ]

I just gave you every book,
movie, and TV show

I have consumed
in the last couple of millennia.

Now do you understand

that "the universe is made up
of stories, not atoms"?

[ Sighs ]

I understand that that's
a -- a quote by Muriel Rukeyser.


It can be taught.

Here are
a few more lessons.

First rule of writers club --
steal from the best.

Second rule?

Every hero
needs a villain.

What are you talking you about?

Hannah and her sisters --

I set all that up,

told Gadreel,
"slaughter all those

"who will not join my army,
but let one live, one...

To tell the tale."

Is it true?

Can you bring angels
back to heaven?

[ Chuckles ]

Sorry. No spoilers.

And you keep missing
the point.

You're supposed
to lead the angels.

I am not a leader,


So...I did my homework.

"The Winchester Gospels."

[ Scoffs ]
Pulpy stuff.

[ Sighs ]

Gave me an idea, though.

You needed to be taught
a lesson,

and nobody teaches lessons
better than good old Gabriel,

a.k.a. The Trickster.

So...I started typing.

And you did all this
to make me a hero?

[ Laughing ]

Ah, that's priceless.

Um [chuckles] no.

You are not the hero
in this mess-terpiece.

You are the villain.

I'm the hero.

He's not gonna crack that fast.

I know.

Maybe you could hack him
like you and Crowley hacked me.

No, no, no, no. Crowley's
the only one who can do that.

And I'm in no mood
to call that dickbag.

We need Cass.

Any word from him?

I tried him again.

He hasn't called,
he hasn't texted.

I turned on the GPS
on his phone.

He's still in the same town
where we talked to him last.

What the hell?

I don't know.

You got to go find him.

Wait, what?

You're too close to this,

And, what, you're not?

We're not at this
five minutes,

you're already going Liam Neeson
on his ass.

I got this.

So, he acts tough,
and you show kindness.

Is that how this works?


See, I don't care
whether you talk.

You're gonna pay
for what you did to him...

and Kevin.

Do you know
why I didn't kill you

after I stole your Grace?

I like you.


Among all God's
little windup toys,

you were the only one
with any spunk.

I left you human
because I was hoping

you would live
happily ever after,

but you screwed that up,

And now...

Uh, you leave me
no choice.

I mean, if you want to
get back on board, fine,

but you're gonna have to
follow my script.

Well, based on your assessment,
that doesn't sound like me.

Lead the dumb, disenfranchised,
rebellious angels

against me, Castiel.

They will follow you.

And they'll all die,

but I'm gonna save a nice,
warm seat up top for you.

You will be saved.



You're gonna make me do
the hard pitch, aren't you?

How's that, um, stolen grace
inside you working out?

It's fine.


It's not.

It's burning out.

It's gonna burn you out.

But I will give you

an endless supply
of rechargeable batteries.


[ Door opens ]

Sorry to interrupt
your writing session, sir,

but something's happened.

What's wrong?

It's Gadreel.

[ Screams ]

Word around
the campfire is,

you let the snake
into the garden,

ruined it
for all humanity.

I set them free.

I loved humanity!

Well, you sure got got a funny
way of showing it, asshat.

[ Sighs ]

Now, look, you tell me

about this "getting
back into heaven" crap

and I'll end this quick.

Otherwise, you can sit here
and rot in those chains forever.

Up to you.

All your talk,
all your bluster --

you think
you are invincible.

The two of you
against the world, right?

Damn straight.

You really think
Sam would do anything for you?

Oh, I know he would.

I have been
in your brother's body, Dean.

He would not trade his life
for yours.

thanks for the rerun, pal.

Sam's already told me
all that crap.

Hell, he's told me worse.

He told you that
he has always felt that way,

that he thinks you are
just a scared little boy

who's afraid
to be on his own

because daddy
never loved him enough?

[ Chuckles ]

And he is right,
isn't he?

Right to think you are a coward,
a sad, clingy, needy --

[ grunts ]

[ Groans ]

Keep it up!

...pathetic bottom-feeder

who cannot even take care
of himself,

who would rather drag everyone
through the mud than be alone,

who would let everyone
around him die!

No. Do it.

Do it!

Kill me!!

Oh, you'd like that,
wouldn't you?

That's what that whole speech
was about?

You're not afraid to die,
are you?

[ Panting ]

You're afraid to be left
in these chains forever.

Well, you can sit here and rot,
you son of a bitch.

[ Sighs ]

[ Engine shuts off ]

[ Knob squeaks, water runs ]

[ Sighs ]

Easy there, tiger.

I'm here to trade.

You have
something of mine,

and I have
something of yours.

Bring him here tomorrow,

If not, Castiel dies.

No comebacks this time.

An even trade?

I'm an entity of my word.

[ Cellphone vibrates ]



Dean. Hey!

Are -- are you okay?


Yeah, you got to stop
asking me that.

I've been calling you.

I mean, w-why didn't you, uh --
He won't talk.

I figured.

He wanted to die,
and I was gonna kill him.

I was.

But then I stopped 'cause I know
we need him to talk.

Dean, listen.

Metatron has Cass.

He's offering up a trade.

We can't trust Metatron.

I-I know that. Obviously.

But look,
this is the first time

we're gonna know for sure
where Metatron is.

Let's take Gadreel
to the meet-up,

make the exchange,
and then trap Metatron.

[ Sighs ]

He's late.

Or he's not gonna show.

Of course
I'm gonna show.

I was just waiting
for you two

to finished setting up
your little trap for me.


Am I hitting my mark?

Well, come on. Let's go.
I'm waiting.

[ Gasps ]

[ Groans ]

[ Panting, wheezing ]

[ Grunts ]

[ Laughs ]

[ Exhales deeply ]

Either of you
bring s'mores?

Holy Fire always gives them
a delightful minty aftertaste.

Make a wish, boys.

[ Exhales forcefully ]

No, thanks!

[ Grunts ]


a deal is a deal.

Why are you doing this?

Because I can.

Because you
and your little brother

and your fine,
feathered friend

and all those secrets

you've got locked away
in your bunker

can't stop me.

But I am gonna enjoy
watching you try.

It's gonna be
a hell of a show.

I'll see you around,

Never forget
I gave you a chance.

Somebody want to tell me
what the hell's going on here?

is trying to play God.

Play God?

he erased angel warding.

He friggin' blew out Holy Fire.
He is God.

He's powering up
with the angel tablet.

How the hell are
we supposed to stop this guy?

All right, so what if there is
a stairway to heaven?

We find it
and get a drop on the guy.

You want to sneak
onto the Death Star,

take out the emperor?

,I -- I'm not sure

what a fictional battle station
in space has to do with this,

but if taking out the emperor
means taking out Metatron,

I'm on board.

Wait, did you --

did you just understand
a Death Star reference?

Yeah, I think so.

But I don't understand
what that has to do with heaven.

It's halfway, I guess.

You sure
you're all right?


Are you?

There's something different
about you.

I'm fine.

[ Sighs ]
What have you done?

It's a means to an end.

Damn it, Dean.

Look, you find heaven,
you drop a dime.

I got a knight to kill.

Be safe out there.

You, too. Hey, Sam.

You keep an eye on him.

[ Engine turns over ]

[ Typewriter keys clacking ]

Is the door secure?


The way home is safe.

[ Sighs ]

Thank you, Gadreel.

How did your play
turn out?

Didn't quite turn out
as I'd planned,

but that is why we rewrite.

That was God's problem,
you know --

he published
the first draft.

You got to keep at it till
you get all your ducks in a row.

Was the Winchesters grabbing me
part of your plan?

That was a surprise.

But, hey, what writer
doesn't love a good twist?

My job is to set up
interesting characters

and see where they lead me.

The by-product of having
well-drawn characters is...

They may surprise you.

But I know something
they don't know --

the ending.

How I get there
doesn't matter

as long as everybody plays
their part.

[ Inhales deeply ]

[ Door opens ]

♪ Ooooooooh ♪

♪ oooh-oooh-oooh,
oooh, oooh ♪

♪ aaaaaaaaah

♪ aaah-aaah-aaah,
aaah, aaah ♪

♪ loneliness

♪ is the coat you wear

♪ a deep shade of blue

♪ is always there

♪ the sun ain't gonna shine
anymore ♪

♪ the moon ain't gonna rise
in the sky ♪

♪ the tears are always clouding
your eyes ♪

♪ when you're
without lo-o-o-o-o-o-ve ♪

♪ baby

♪ sun ain't gonna shine
anymore ♪

♪ the moon ain't gonna rise
in the sky ♪

♪ tears are always clouding
your eyes ♪

♪ the sun ain't gonna shine
anymore ♪

♪ when you're
without lo-o-o-o-o-ve ♪

♪ ooooooooh

♪ oooh-oooh-oooh,
oooh, oooh ♪

♪ sun ain't gonna shine
anymore ♪

♪ sun ain't gonna shine
anymore ♪

♪ not anymore

== sync, corrected by elderman ==