Supernatural (2005–…): Season 6, Episode 2 - Two and a Half Men - full transcript

When four families are killed and their babies are missing, Sam finds that a security company may be involved in the case and summons Dean to help him to bring the baby of a fifth ...

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it -
Hey, Dean. It's me.

How long you been back, Sam?
About a year.

You been back practically
this whole time?

You finally had what you wanted.
I wanted my brother, alive.

You wanted a family. You only
gave it up because of the way we lived.

But you had something,
and you were building something.

You got out, Dean.
You walked away from the life...

and it's as close to happiness
as I've ever seen a hunter get.

- I hooked up with other people.
- You? Working with strangers?

- They're more like family.
- Gwen Campbell, Christian, and Mark.

- Campbell, like-
- Like your mom.

I'm your grandfather.

Samuel? You can't be.

We're guessing whatever pulled Sam up
pulled me down.

- But you don't know what that is.
- Bingo.

Can make itself look like anyone.

Legends of creatures who can transform
into animals or other men.

When the Shapeshifter changes shape,
maybe it sheds.

- You coming?
- No. I'm going back for Lisa and Ben.

- You'll be putting them in danger.
- It's better to leave them alone?


I made them vulnerable the moment
I knocked on their door.

You keep in touch, you hear?

Of course.


It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.




- What's up?
- Nothing.

At least wait till you've checked
the place out before you hate it.

Open mind. It's all I ask.

Yeah, all right.

- I'll be back.
- Oh. Hey, where's the fire?

I'm just gonna check out the block.

And let your mom unpack the kitchen
by herself? Come on.

We'll go for lunch later.
Scope out the neighborhood. Right?

Yeah, sounds like a plan.

Come on,
why don't you give me a hand?

we've got a callback on those plates.

Where'd you find them?
We found the parents upstairs.

- Pretty brutal.
- Break-in?

Alarm never went off.

Any leads on the baby? None yet.

So, what do you think?
You think it's okay? Alive?

I did yesterday.

Thank you.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Uh, one cheese, one everything?


Thank you. There you go.
Keep the change.

- Thanks.
- Thanks.

- What?
- Thought we were going out.

Oh, yeah. I forgot. I'm sorry.

Sure. I'll look for plates.

Hey. So I been all over this.

No sulfur, no EMF.

Starting to think maybe
it's not our kind of thing.

Four couples slaughtered
in one part of the state.

That's four babies taken
from locked houses.

Damn it.

Explain to me
how any version of that is natural.

I agree, it's awful. I'm just saying...

this one might be on the police.
So either we got monsters...

grabbing babies to make baby stew,
or we got a bunch yokels...

grabbing babies to make baby stew.
Either way, it's baby stew. Which is bad.

Am I boring you?
You got someplace to be?

No, no. I get it. Good.

You know,
sometimes I wonder about you, Sam.

Sometimes I wonder about me too.

Well, I will go back over everything,
see if there's anything we missed.

Hey, detective said the alarm
in the house never went off.

See if anybody else had a system
from Harper Caine Security.

Yeah. Sure.

Any chance I get to hop on a computer.

What the hell?
Hey, hey. Give me that.

- What do you think you're doing?
- I just wanted to see it.

Listen to me.

Don't ever open this trunk,
you understand me?

Okay, sorry.

But I don't get it. You had your own rifle
when you were my age.

Ben, mark my words:
you will never, ever shoot a gun.

- Ever.
- I know what's going on.

- Something might be coming for us.
- There's nothing coming for us.

I could do what you do.
You could teach-

Shut up about the freaking gun, okay?



I'm sorry.

You were right.
Every family, Harper Caine Security.

So I pulled the client records.

To see if there's any families
who fit the profile.

There is another happy couple,
walking and talking.

Six-month-old baby.
Like all the others.

What's the address?


What happened? Ben's been locked
in his room for hours.

Says you yelled at him. What'd he do?


What did you do?

He got into my tools.
I shouldn't have got mad.

You wanna talk about this?


Yelling at Ben?
Keeping us in the house?

- I'm trying to keep us safe.
- I'm not arguing.

I'm just asking.

You said that you and your brother
killed whatever was after us.

And then- And then we moved,
just to be sure.

So, what is it, Dean? A monster?
Or monsters in general?

I don't know. Something might come.

- What?
- I can't predict what's gonna come.

I need parameters.
We have to live our lives.

At some point, I have to work.
Ben has school.

But if something happens
on my watch...

I know you're trying to protect us.
But you're kind of scaring me a little too.

- Sam?
- I need your help. Now.

- What's wrong?
- I'm working this job.

Look, I just need you with me on this.

I'm out. I'm staying out.

- Make an exception.
- For what?

Look, I'm 30 minutes away...

and I will drive to your door
if you don't meet me.

And what's so nuts you gotta threaten
a damn drive-by?

- Where is it?
- Strapped down in the backseat.

Welcome to the party, Guttenberg.


- Show me.
- I got it, we've been over this.

Humor me.

Load clip.

Pull slide. Safety off.

- Safety on.
- And salt the windows and the doors.

Of course.

- Maybe I shouldn't go.
- It's okay. You wanna go. So go.

Sam can handle this.

Dean, no offense,
but if you don't walk out that door...

I'm gonna shoot you.

Bet you're missing your ex
about now. The boring one.

God, shut up.

Just be careful, okay?


So, what do we know
about this thing?

Well, it was fast. And it freaked
when I cut it with silver.

All right. So that narrows it down to?

A ghoul, a zombie, a Shifter
or about a dozen other things.

I don't recall seeing babynapping
in the profiles.

Yeah. Exactly.

Well, feel free to speak up
if you know anything.


What am I, in third grade?

A car should drive,
not be a little bitch.

Yeah, don't take it personal.

Well, we need to get some supplies.

I got an arsenal in the trunk.

Not that kind.

I'm pretty sure there's some kind of jelly
you're supposed to put on their butt.

Like, uh-Like that?

Yeah. Grab that.

- So how do you know all this?
- Uh, Lisa's got a baby niece.

So I've been on a few milk runs.

- Huh.
- Shut it.

I just said, "huh."

I just said, "shut it."

All right, we gotta get moving.
We got the waterworks in T-minus-10.



Come on. Hang in there, buddy.
Hang in there, man.

Dean, make it stop.


Everyone's staring at us
like we're child abusers.

Feed it. We fed it.

- Then what?
- Do you think I speak baby?

Maybe he needs a diaper change.

Oh, God, I hope not.


What's the matter?
What's his name?

- Bobby.
- John.

- Bobby John.
- Hi, Bobby John.

Aren't you handsome. May I?

Oh. Uh...

I see now. Bobby John's a little wet.

No offense, you two look exhausted.

I don't mind. Lord knows
I've changed a million diapers.

Ha, ha. It's...

Well, that's a really nice offer,
thank you. But I think we've got it.

Oh, it's nothing, happy to help.

Give me the baby
before I stab you in your neck.


- Help me!
- Hey!

He's hurting me!

Get off of her.

Okay. All right. All right.

Go, go, go.

The hell's a Shifter
want with a baby, anyway?

- You tell me.
- And how the hell did it find us?

Who designed this thing, NASA?

It could have been
following me this whole time.

- Since the baby's house.
- We gotta get off the road.

Get Bobby John here
someplace safe...

figure this thing out.
Okay. All right. Shh.

Easy, kid.

Patrol 86, go ahead.

Need a 1028 on lllinois plates.

I as in India, four, Zulu,
Oscar, eight, nine, two.

Copy, 86. Stand by.

Okay. All right, you know what?
I'll pay you money if you sit still.

This is like diffusing an IED
with poop.

Okay. All right, all right, all right.

You are golden, Bobby John.

Time to hit the hay.

You're just gonna make it
cranky again.

Shh. It's working.

Okay. If I put you down,
you gonna be a man about it? Hmm?


- What?
- You're just, uh, actually...

not awful at that.

I'm barely keeping that thing alive.

No, no, no. Seriously. You got a whole
Dr. Huxtable vibe coming off of you.

You're, like, father material.

Yeah, well, I kind of had to be lately,
you know? Sink or swim, right?

- You mean Ben.
- Yeah, I mean Ben.

I mean, I know he's not my kid...

but I don't know,
I'm starting to feel like, yeah, he is.

When I think about
the way we grew up...

I don't know,
I feel like I have a chance to...

do something different with Ben,
you know?

You sure about that?

What do you mean?

Look, you clearly care about the kid.

- But?
- But moving them around...

keeping them on lockdown...

I mean, you do have them
on lockdown, right?

How is any of that different
from how we were raised?

So you're saying...

I'm not shoving anybody
into this life, okay? This is temporary.

Ha, ha. Dad always said
it was temporary, Dean.

Said it for 22 years.

Look, I get it.
You wanna watch out for them.

That's great. I'm just asking,
how do you do that...

and not turn into Dad?

Crap. I can't believe I missed this.


This house on Elm. The mother
was killed, baby was grabbed...

but Daddy wasn't living in the house
at the time. So he's still alive.

- What do you say we go chat?
- I say let's.

You go.

- You sure?
- You got a badge for Bobby John?

Yeah, I'm sure.

It's good, isn't it?

I just-I still can't believe it.

I mean it's one thing to die like that,
the poor baby...

Just into thin air.
No thanks to you guys.

Well, that's why I'm here.

You had filed for divorce?

It's important. I'm sorry.


She cheated on me,
and, well, I caught her.

And did you know the other man?

No, I mean I didn't "catch her" catch her.
But she lied to me.


We hadn't...

you know...

in a while, and then-
Then she's pregnant.

- And what did she say?
- She said it was mine.

I know. And I said that's impossible,
and what is she talking about.

And she says don't you remember
when you went out of town...

you came back early and we-

- But you didn't?
- No.

I was at a damn
softball tournament.

Whoever he was, he's the father.

Talked to the father. He checks out.

- The baby?
- Yeah.

I think the Shapeshifter is his dad.

You think?

Manager. Everything okay in there?

Yeah, no, we're fine.
Thank you. Good night.

There's been complaints.
Mind opening the door, sir?

Uh, it's not a good time.

Just got out of the shower.

- Get out of the way.
- Not gonna happen.

A child should be with his father.

Well, I gotta be honest, I'm not really
seeing the family resemblance.

I'm not just talking about me.
I'm talking about our father.

Well, there goes our deposit.

It's pretty smart, actually.
I mean, Shifter poses as a guard...

from the security company,
then it scopes out the fam.

Yeah, then daddy takes off,
and Shifter becomes daddy.

A few glasses of wine,
shakes mama's trees...

comes back in nine months
to collect its prize.

I didn't even know they had babies.

I thought they were
just freaks of nature, like, X-Men style.

You learn something new
every day, huh?

I've never seen
a baby monster before.

Yeah. Of course,
it's not really a monster.

I mean, it's still just a baby.
It's not its fault its dad's a Shifter.

Right, but it's a Shifter too.

Still doesn't change the fact
that we've gotta...

We gotta look after this thing.

But what are we gonna do with it?
We can't drop it off at an orphanage.

They might get upset
when it turns Asian.

- Samuel.
- What?

Samuel. He'll know what to do.

- You wanna bring it to hunters?
- Not just hunters. They're our family.

- We don't know them.
- I do. Not every hunter is a headcase.

I mean,
Samuel is actually a lot like you.

- I'm a freaking headcase.
- Well, pitch a better idea, then.

Great. Samuel it is.

Well, aren't you just the best disguise
a monster ever wore?

I'm kidding, Dean, relax.

What, you got something to say?

No? All right. Well, you just stand there
and think at me.

So, what's our next move?
I got a couple ideas.

Dean, let me see the little guy.

- That's all right. I got it.
- What do you think I'm gonna do?

You really don't want me
to answer that question.

Well, I'm curious.
Who exactly do you think we are?


Funny. Here I've been thinking
we're family.

Hey, let's not get worked up.

Yeah. Yeah. Let's not.

Here. Dean. It's fine.

Let me take him. It's okay.

Hey, there. Oh, you're a big fella,
aren't you?

Yeah. I haven't held one of these
in a long time.

Your mom was the tiniest.
She was bald as a cue ball.

What are we gonna do with him?

- Raise him.
- Raise him?

You got another suggestion?

- But-
- It's dangerous out there for him.

What about in here?
What, are we gonna study him?

Your mind goes right to torture.
Don't assume that for everyone.

What exactly are you trying to say?

Sorry, I heard about
what you majored in, down in the pit.

The hell is your problem, man?

You're starting to become
a pain in my ass.

Take it easy, man. He's my brother.

We all done bristling up, or what?

Nobody's doing anything to him,

When he's old enough,
we throw it to him.

He wants to volunteer to help out,
that's fine.

Could be great.

- How?
- Think of the kind of hunter...

he'll grow up to be.

You all are joking, right?
I mean, come on.

You can't Angelina Jolie
a Shapeshifter.

Give me the baby.

- Why can't you give me an inch of trust?
- You two are back from the dead...

and I seem to be the only one
who wants to know how that happened.

You're not the only one
who wants to know.

There's too much mystery
with this family for me to get comfy.

Then don't. But don't put it on us.

All we're trying to do is invite you in.

- Christian?
- Yeah.

You and Arlene.
Still no luck on the baby front?

Not yet, no. But you want one?

- Yeah, we do.
- Wait. Hold on.

It's okay, Dean. All right.


It's a boy. Sometimes.

Ha, ha. The crap I do for this family.

- You're kidding, right?
- Go to hell, Dean.

Well, you have no business
raising anything.

Why, Dean, because he's a hunter?

Check the back door.

Downstairs. Panic room.
He'll be safe there.

Go. We got it. Go. Now.

You have something of ours.

I know he's here. I can feel him.

- Run.
- No!


Easy, tiger.

Get the silver nets,
we're gonna box him up.

Come on, Bobby John.
You have got to keep quiet.

It does not sound good up there.

All right. I'm going up.

Stay with the baby.

- What the-?
- Give me the baby.

No way in hell.

- I'm pretty sure it's not a myth now.
- Yeah.

What the hell was that thing?

We think it may have been an Alpha.

- An Alpha. Like-?
- All monsters come from somewhere.

You think this was the-?

King Shapeshifter. First one
who spawned all the others.

There's tons of lore about it.

The first one?
That's why it was so strong.

And why nothing we had stopped it.

He said he could find the baby
anywhere, that he could feel it.

Like there's a connection.
That's in the lore too.

What the hell's it want
with babies anyway?

Softball team?

I got no clue.


Well, then, how do we kill it?

I don't know if we can.

- You know, it's funny.
- What's that?

You know, just before you, uh, ganked
that Shifter in the motel...

he mentioned a father, which makes
sense now because he meant the Alpha.

- Huh. Yeah, I guess so.
- Did you hear him say that?


I don't know, kind of a hot moment,
you know? Why?

Oh, because if you heard him,
then you knew the Alpha was out there.

- Okay.
- If you knew the Alpha was out there...

then you knew he might come
after the baby...

in which case,
you were using the baby as bait.

So was that the plan...

- to use the baby as bait?
- Of course not.

Dean, I just thought
Samuel's was the safest place. That's all.

Right. Of course.

No, I didn't catch it.
It killed three of my people.

I shot it full of elephant tranquilizer
and it chuckled.

To be honest, I'm not sure
I wanna find it.

But yeah,
we will find a way to catch it.

Yeah, sure, I'll bring it right to you.

Hey. Hey. Where's Ben?

Bike ride.


I don't know what to do here, Lis.

I mean, if I knew for sure what
the safest thing was, then I'd do it.

Stay here and look after you guys...

or get as far away
as I possibly can...

but I don't know.

And I get what I've been doing lately.

You know, with the yelling
and the acting like a-

Like a prison guard.
It's just-That's not me.

You tell yourself you're not gonna
be something, you know?

You know, my dad was exactly like this,
all the time...

- and it's scaring the hell out of me.
- Dean.

Can I be honest?

Maybe we're safer with you here.

Maybe gone. I don't know.

The one thing that I do know is...

that you're not
a construction worker.

You're a hunter. And now you know your
brother's out there, things are different.

- You don't wanna be here, Dean.
- Yes, I do.


Okay. But you also wanna be there.

I get it.

You're white-knuckling it,
living like this.

Like what you are
is some bad, awful thing.

But you're not.

But I'm not gonna have this discussion
every time you leave.

And this is-
This is just gonna keep happening.

So I need you to go.

I can't just lose you and Ben.

- That's not what I'm saying.
- You're saying hit the road.

If there's some rule that says
this all has to be either-or...

how about we break it?

Me and Ben will be here...

and you come when you can.

Just come in one piece, okay?

You really think we could pull
something like that off?

It's worth a shot, right?