Supernatural (2005–…): Season 5, Episode 17 - 99 Problems - full transcript

- Dean.
- Lisa.

You know how I never mentioned
my job? This is my job.

Ben wouldn't be alive if it wasn't
for you. You're welcome to stay.

I can't. It's not my life.

There is someone besides Michael
strong enough to take on Lucifer.

- Who's that?
- God. I'm gonna find God.

- I'm Joshua.
- You talked to God?

JOSHUA: He knows that the Apocalypse
has begun.

He just doesn't think it's his problem.

- Not his problem?
- He's finished.

Another deadbeat dad
with a bunch of excuses, right?



Maybe Joshua was lying.

- I don't think he was.
CASTIEL: You son of a bitch.

I believed.

SAM: Find another way.
We can stop all this, Dean.

- How?
SAM: I don't know.

But we'll find it, you and me.

We'll find it.

- Drive faster, Dean.
- I can't.

- Uhn.
- Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm amazing.

- Have you ever seen that many?
- No way. Not in one place.

What the hell?

DEAN:
Damn it.

[GRUNTING]



[SCREAMING]

[SPEAKING ENOCHIAN
OVER LOUDSPEAKER]

[SCREAMING]

[PANTING]

Well, that's something
you don't see every day.

You two all right?

- Peachy.
- Be careful. It's dangerous around here.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.

LEADER: No need to thank us.
DEAN: No, hold up a sec. Who are you?

We're the Sacrament Lutheran Militia.

- The what?
LEADER: I hate to tell you this.

But those were demons
and this is the Apocalypse.

So buckle up.

We're in the same line of business.

Yeah, and among colleagues.

It's a police-issued shotgun.

That truck is inspired. Where
did you guys pick up all this crap?

You know,
you pick things up along the way.

Guys, well, this whole corner
of the state is nuts with demon omens.

- We just wanna help. That's all.
- We're on the same team here.

Just talk to us.

Follow us.

- Dylan, it's a church. Headphones off.
DYLAN: Yes, Mom.

Who would have thought the Apocalypse
could be so romantic?

Marriage, family, it's a blessing.

Especially in times like this.

So hold on to them.
Some of you have been...

Wedding?

Seriously?

MAN:
Yeah.

We've had eight so far this week.

CROWD:
Congratulations.

MAN 1: Way to go, Eric.
MAN 2: Hey.

So Rob tells me
you boys hunt demons.

Uh... Yes, sir.

You missed a few.

Yeah, tell us about it.

Any idea why they're here?

They sure seem to like us, though.

Follow me, gentlemen.

DEAN:
So you're a preacher.

Not what you expected, huh?

- Well, dude, you're packing.
- Strange times.

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

- Is that a 12-year-old packing rounds?
- Everybody pitches in.

- So the whole church?
GIDEON: The whole town.

Whole town full of hunters. I don't know
whether to run or buy a condo.

Demons were killing us.
We had to do something.

- Why not call the National Guard?
- Told not to.

By who?

Come on, you're as locked and loaded
as we've ever seen.

And that exorcism was Enochian.
Someone was telling you something.

Look, I'm sorry. I can't discuss it.

- Dad, it's okay.
- Leah.

It's Sam and Dean Winchester.
They're safe.

I know all about them.

You do?

Sure. From the angels.

Angels. Awesome.

Don't worry. They can't see you here.

The marks on your ribs, right?

So you know all about us
because angels told you?

Yes. Among other things.

Like the snappy little exorcism spell?

They show me where the demons
are gonna be before it happens.

- How to fight back.
- She's never been wrong. Not once.

- She's very special.
- Dad.

And let me guess.
Before you see something...

you get a real bad migraine,
you see flashing lights?

How did you know?

You're not the first prophet
we've met.

But you are the cutest.

I mean that with total respect,
of course.

FEMALE VOICE [OVER PHONE]:
You've reached the voicemail of...

CASTIEL [ON RECORDING]:
I don't understand.

Why do you want me
to say my name?

[BEEPING OVER PHONE]

Cass, hey, it's me.

So we're in Blue Earth, Minnesota.

And we could use a little help.

I hope you get this.

- Busy night.
- Since the end started...

it's been like one long last call.

- That round's on me.
- Thanks.

So did you get ahold of Cass?

Yeah, I left him a message, I think.

So, what's your theory?

Why all the demon hits?

- I don't know.
- Thanks, Bob.

Gank the girl prophet, maybe?

- What?
- These angels are sending these people...

to do their dirty work.

Yeah, and?

And they could get ripped to shreds.

We're all gonna die, Sam.

In like a month. Maybe two.

I mean it.

You know, this is the end of the world.

But these people aren't freaking out.

In fact, they're running to the exits
in an orderly fashion.

I don't know that
that's such a bad thing.

Who says they're all gonna die?

Whatever happened to us
saving them?

[BELL RINGING]

WOMAN:
See you guys.

Something I said?

Paul, what's going on?

Leah has had another vision.

WOMAN:
Come on.

Wanna go to church?

You know me.

Downright pious.

Three miles off Talmadge Road.

Five miles.

The demons gathered.
I don't know how many, but a lot.

Thank you, Leah.

So who's gonna join me?

Wouldn't miss it.

Someone's gotta cover Rob's ass.

- We're in, Padre.
- Thank you.

I'd like to offer a prayer.

- Our father in heaven...
- Yeah, not so much.

Help us to fight in your name.

We ask that you protect us
from all servants of evil.

Guide our hands in defeating them.

And deliver us home safely.

Thank you. Amen.

[GRUNTING]

[SPEAKING ENOCHIAN]

[SPEAKING ENOCHIAN]

[GIDEON SPEAKING ENOCHIAN]

[GUN CLICKS]

[PANTING]

I guess that's what it like, huh?

What?

Having backup.

Dean, Sam.

- Yo.
- Hey.

So is it cool if I get a ride back
with you guys?

You saved my ass twice already. One
more time, you can drive. Get a beer.

Hey.

- You earned it. Don't tell your mom.
- Oh, believe me. I will not.

[DYLAN SCREAMING]

Dylan.

[GROANS]

[SIGHS]

No.

[BELL TOLLING]

We're just very sorry.

You know...

- this is your fault.
- Jane.

Come on.

[WOMAN SOBBING]

GIDEON:
I wish I knew what to say. Ahem.

But I don't.

I'm so sorry, Jane.

Rob...

there are no words.

Dylan...

I don't know why this happened.

I don't know why any of this
is happening.

I got no easy answers.

But what I do know is...

Leah, honey?

Leah, honey?

Honey? It's okay, sweetie.

It's okay.

[PANTING]

Dad, it's Dylan.

- No, just rest a minute, huh?
- No, this...

Dylan's coming back.

[PEOPLE MURMURING]

Jane, Rob...

it's going to be okay.

You'll see Dylan again.

When the final day comes,
Judgment Day...

he'll be resurrected
and you'll be together again.

We'll all be together
with all our loved ones.

We've been chosen.

The angels have chosen us.

And we will be given paradise
on Earth.

All we have to do
is follow the angel's commandments.

No drinking, no gambling,
no premarital sex?

Dean, they outlawed 90 percent
of your personality.

Well, whatever. When in Rome.

So you're cool with it?

I'm not cool. I'm not not cool. It's...

Look, man, I'm not a prophet.
We're not locals.

It's not my call.

I'll catch up with you.

This a bad time?

In general.

Now is okay.

Angel stuff really takes it out of you,
huh?

Can't complain.

I know you have it worse.

So, what's on your mind, Dean?

[SIGHS]

Don't take this the wrong way.

But are you on the level?

About what?

About paradise.

What about it?

I wanna know
what the angels are telling you.

Everything.

- Well...
- And you can skip the rainbows.

There's gonna be a prizefight
and it's gonna get bad.

But after we win, and we will...

the planet gets handed over
to the chosen.

And it's finally peaceful.

No monsters, no disease, no death.

You're just...

with the people you love.

Of course, that's if you can get past
the velvet rope.

Must be nice...

being chosen.

Well, Dean, you're chosen.

Yeah.

More like cursed.

Must be hard.

Being the vessel of heaven
and having no hope.

Hey.

So, what happened to
"the Apocalypse is good for business"?

Yeah. Right up until Leah's angel pals
banned the good stuff.

- Help me kill some inventory?
- Sure.

Don't get me wrong. I grew up here.
I love this town.

- But these holy rollers...
- Yeah, yeah.

I noticed you're not the praying type.

Well, between you and me,
neither are half those guys.

Couple of months back,
all in here, getting wasted...

banging the nanny.

Now they're all warriors of God.
Cheers.

Cheers.

Look, there's sure as hell demons.

And maybe there is a God.

I don't know. Fine.
But I'm not a hypocrite.

Never prayed before. Ain't starting now.
If I go to hell, I'm going honest.

How about you?

- What about me?
- Not a true believer, I take it.

I believe, yeah. I do.

I'm just pretty sure God stopped caring
a long time ago.

[SCOFFS]

[CHUCKLES]

Where you been?

Drinking.

- Heh. You rebel.
- I'd have had more, but it was curfew.

- Right.
- Hear they shut down the cell towers?

No, that's news to me.

Yeah, no cable, Internet.

Total cutoff from
the "corruption of the outside world."

Hmm.

Don't you get it?

They're turning this place
into some fundamentalist compound.

- No, I get it.
- And all you got is a "hmm"?

What's wrong with you?

I get it. I just don't care.

What?

What difference does it make?

It makes a hell of a...

At what point does this become too far
for you?

Stoning, poisoned Kool-Aid.

The angels are toying
with these people.

Angel world, angel rules, man.

Since when is that okay with you?

Since the angels got the only lifeboats
on the Titanic.

Who exactly is supposed to come along
and save these people?

It was supposed to be us.
We can't do it.

And so what?
You wanna just stop fighting, roll over?

I don't know. Maybe.

- Don't say that.
- Why not?

- You can't do this.
- Actually, I can.

No, you can't. You can't do this to me.

I know one thing.

One thing keeping me going.

You think you're the only one
white-knuckling here, Dean?

I can't count on anyone else.

And I can't do this alone.

- Dean.
- I gotta clear my head.

It's past curfew.

It's past curfew.

- Leah, what's wrong?
- Daddy, can I talk to you for a second?

Of course.

[SOBS]

GIDEON: Leah, honey, what is it?
LEAH: I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. They were angry.

- Who's angry?
- The angels.

- Why are they angry?
- They said...

They said that we can't go
to paradise.

What?

- We're doing everything they say.
- They gave commandments.

But some people aren't listening.

Who, Leah?

[EXHALES]

[THUMP]

CASTIEL:
I got your message.

[SIGHS]

It was long, your message.

And I find
the sound of your voice grating.

What's wrong with you?

Are you...

drunk?

No.

Yes.

What the hell happened to you?

I found a liquor store.

- And?
- And I drank it.

Why did you call me?

There you go, easy.

Are you okay?

Don't ask stupid questions.

Tell me what you need.

There have been these demon attacks.

Massive. On the edge of town.
We can't figure out why.

- Any sign of angels?
- Sort of.

They've been speaking
to this prophet.

- Who?
- This girl, Leah Gideon.

- She's not a prophet.
- I'm pretty sure she is.

The visions, headaches,
the whole package.

The names of all the prophets,
they're seared into my brain.

Leah Gideon is not one of them.

Then what is she?

[CRASHING IN DISTANCE]

MAN:
You have to go. I told you...

[PEOPLE ARGUING]

MAN 2: Please, guys, guys.
MAN 3: I don't wanna tell you again.

GIDEON: Take a breath, both of you.
PAUL: One of my properties.

I'm sorry, Paul. There's no other way.

Come on, what country is this, huh?

- You need a hand?
- Everybody, cool down for a minute.

Cool down? My friends are trying
to run me out of town.

I'm sorry, it is not our choice.

- Come on, that's bull.
- You gotta go, for everyone's sake.

We grew up together.
I stood up at your wedding.

JANE:
You did. But that was then.

You're standing against the flock.

Not true. I fight with you.

This is a town of believers, Paul.
You are not a believer.

Don't make this hard for us.

Hard for you?

No.

This is my home.

You want me out of here?

You have to drag me out.

- Rob.
- Whoa, you don't wanna do this.

Get out.

GIDEON:
No, no, no. Come on. Everyone...

[GUNSHOT]

No one's gonna stop me
from seeing my son again.

GIDEON:
Paul?

We went out looking for...

You all right?

Yeah, it's not my blood.

Paul's dead.

- What?
- Jane shot him.

It's starting.

What's starting?
Where the hell have you been?

On a bender.

Did he...? You say on a bender?

Yeah. He's pretty smashed.

It is not of import.

We need to talk about
what's happening here.

I'm all ears.

For starters,
Leah is not a real prophet.

- Well, what is she exactly?
- The Whore.

Wow, Cass,
tell us what you really think.

She rises when Lucifer
walks the Earth.

"And she shall come,
bearing false prophecy."

This creature has the power
to take a human's form, read minds.

Revelation calls her
the Whore of Babylon.

- That's catchy.
- The real Leah was killed months ago.

- What about the demons?
- They're under her control.

- And the Enochian exorcism?
- Fake.

It actually means,
"You breed with the mouth of a goat."

It's funnier in Enochian.

So the demons smoking out,
that's just a con?

Why? What's the end game?

What you just saw,
innocent blood spilled in God's name.

You heard that heaven talk.
She manipulates people.

To slaughter and kill
and sing peppy little hymns.

Awesome.

Her goal is to condemn as many souls
to hell as possible.

And it's just beginning.

She's well on her way to dragging
this whole town into the pit.

All right.

So then how do we go
"Pimp of Babylon" all over this bitch?

JANE:
I only wanted to...

[JANE CRIES]

Did I make it worse?

Did I make the angels angry?

Jane, the angels, they understand.

What you did
was for the greater good.

Yes.

Yes.

We all liked Paul.

But he was a sinner. And he would
have taken us down with him.

- You saved us.
- Thank you.

How can that be okay?

She killed him.

- That sin is greater...
- It's not a sin to strike evil.

- How can the angels...?
LEAH: You taught me...

we have to have faith.

The Whore can be killed with that.

It's a stake made from a cypress tree
in Babylon.

Great. Let's ventilate her.

CASTIEL: Not that easy.
- Of course not.

The Whore can only be killed
by a true servant of heaven.

- Servant, like...?
- Not you.

Or me. Sam, of course,
is an abomination.

We'll have to find someone else.

The angels, I don't know why
they've chosen us.

But they have.

And today, today they told me
the most important thing yet.

Tonight, at midnight...

I'm sorry.

It's just that we knew this day
would come and it's here.

The final judgment.

Now, we need to do this right.
We don't have much time.

Angels said we're not ready.

There are still a few elements
that need to be taken care of.

Sinners.

[PEOPLE MURMURING]

Now, you better calm down. Hold on.

Leah, you're scaring these people.

I don't want us to panic,
but we have to hurry.

- [WHISPERS] Stop it.
- I've been given instructions.

- Names...
- Wait. Excuse me.

What are you doing?
Stop it, you'll get somebody killed.

Let me go...

or the next sinner I name
will be you.

Pastor David Gideon?

Yeah, who are you?

I'm an angel of the Lord.

Yeah, sure.

What was that?

He wasn't lying about the angel thing.

Have a seat, Padre.
We gotta have a chat.

No. Ahem. She's my daughter.

I'm sorry. But she's not.
She's the thing that killed your daughter.

- That's impossible.
- It's true. And deep down, you know it.

Look, we get it. It's too much,
but if you don't do this...

she's going to kill a lot of people.

- And damn the rest to hell.
- It's just...

- Why does it have to be me?
- You're a servant of heaven.

And you're an angel.

Poor example of one.

Heads up.

How many should I take?

You?

Should probably just down
the whole bottle.

- Thanks.
- Don't mention it.

Yeah, I've been there.

I'm a big expert on deadbeat dads.

So, yeah, I get it.

I know how you feel.

How do you manage it?

On a good day,
you get to kill a whore.

Rob, Jane, please.
Come on, it's me. It's Elise.

I'm sorry. Really.
But you know we have to do this.

We're putting them
in the storage unit.

No, no.

ELISE: Please.
MAN 1: You're wrong.

MAN 2:
Come on!

- Jane, is that everyone?
JANE: Yeah.

Okay, then.

Get the kerosene.

What?

There are kids in there.

The angels named them for a reason.

Jane...

your son needs you to do this.

[GASPS]

Daddy, don't hurt me.

Gideon, now.

[LEAH CHANTS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

Gideon. Wait.

No!

[GROANING]

Help me. He's a demon.

Light the kerosene.

SAM:
Come on. Come on.

[PEOPLE SHOUTING]

Please.
Like you're a servant of heaven.

JANE:
Let me go.

This is why my team's gonna win.

You're the great vessel?

You're pathetic, self-hating
and faithless.

It's the end of the world...

and you're gonna sit back
and watch it happen.

[GRUNTS]

[STABS]

Don't be so sure, whore.

[GROANS]

[GASPING]

[GRUNTING]

But I don't understand.

How are we supposed
to get to paradise now?

I'm sorry.

Pretty sure you're heading
a different direction.

Got you.

Dean, how did you do that?

- What?
SAM: Kill her.

DEAN:
My long run of luck held out, I guess.

Last I checked, she could only be ganked
by a servant of heaven.

Well, what do you want me to tell you?
I saw a shot, I went for it.

SAM:
Here we go. Watch your head.

- Are you gonna do something stupid?
- Like what?

Like Michael stupid?

Come on, Sam. Give me a break.

How's the head?

I'm seeing double.
But that may be the painkillers.

- You'll be okay.
- No.

- Where you going?
- Grab clean bandages out of the trunk.

Relax.

Okay, there. How's that?

[ENGINE REVVING]

Damn it. Dean!

Dean!

Dean.

Hi, Lisa.

I didn't have your number, so...

No, no, it's okay.

I'm just surprised.

[CHUCKLES]

- How's Ben?
- Good.

Good. He's at baseball.

It's a... You moved.

It's a nice house.

You didn't come here
to talk about real estate.

You all right?

No, not really.

What is it?

Look, I have no illusions.

Okay, I know the life that I live.

I know how that's gonna end
for me.

Whatever, I'm okay with that.

But I wanted you to know...

that when I do picture myself
happy...

it's with you.

And the kid.

- Wow...
- You don't have to say anything.

I mean, I know. I know.

I want to.

- Come, let me get you a beer.
- I wish I could.

Take care of yourself, Lis.

No. No, wait. Wait.

You can't just drop a bombshell like that
and then leave.

I know. I'm sorry.

- But I don't have a choice.
- Yeah, you do.

You do. You can come inside,
let me get you a beer. We can talk.

Lisa, wait a minute.

Things are about to get really bad.

LISA:
Like how?

- Like your kind of bad?
- Worse.

Next few days, the crap you're gonna
see on TV. It's gonna be trippy.

Scary.

But I don't want you to worry, I'm
making arrangements for you and Ben.

- Arrangements?
- Whatever happens, you'll be okay.

- What do you mean? What are you talking about.
- The people I'll see next...

they're not gonna get anything
without agreeing to a few conditions.

Just... Just come inside, please.

And whatever you're thinking of doing,
don't do it.

I have to.

Just stay an hour.

At least say bye to Ben.

No, it's better if I don't.

Goodbye, Lisa.