Supernatural (2005–…): Season 11, Episode 20 - Don't Call Me Shurley - full transcript

Amara unleashes a dark fog on a small town that causes everyone to go mad. Dean and Sam realize this is a stronger version of the original black vein virus Amara previously unleashed.

“Supernatural”
by Carver Edlund.

What's Carver Edlund's
real name?

Chuck Shurley? Who gave you
the rights to our life story?!

One day, these books --

they'll be known as the
Winchester Gospel.

Want to know what she is,
Crowley? How about God's sister?

He has relatives?

So, what, she shows up, and
everybody goes “28 Days Later”?

- This is Metatron.
- Scribe of God.

We have your grace.
You're mortal now.

The indignities!
I'm looking for God.



He didn't feel the need
to show up for the apocalypse.

He just doesn't think
it's his problem.

Why would he
give a crap now?

I don't know,
maybe because she's his sister.

All your chosen
are suffering!

Don't count on God!
Count on us.

Maybe now He'll hear me.

Oh!

Pastrami...

maybe.

I give up!

♪ I-I love the colorful clothes
she wears ♪

♪ And she's already working
on my brain ♪

Yeah, Toto.



I got a feeling we aren't
on Earth anymore, either.

♪ But I think of something
I just can't explain ♪

♪ And I'm picking up ♪

♪ I'm picking up
good vibrations ♪

Hello?

♪ She's giving me excitations ♪

♪ I'm picking up
good vibrations ♪

♪ Good vibrations ♪

♪ She's giving me excitations ♪

♪ Excitations ♪

Carver Edlund?

What the hell
is going on here?

What is this place?

It's a bar.
Actually --

It's not just a bar,
genius,

this is one of
the Big Man's constructs.

I'd know
his work anywhere.

We were besties,
you know.

Well,
I wouldn't exactly say --

This is some kind of punishment,
isn't it?

For my sins.

A limbo
where I get to spend eternity

in a crappy bar
with a hack writer.

Dude.

Sorry, Chuckles,
not just any hack writer --

a Prophet
of the Lord.

Give me a break.

♪ And I wonder what
she's picking up from me? ♪

Tell me at least the beer
is real in here.

♪ And I'm picking up ♪

♪ I'm picking up good vibrations ♪
You really think I'm a hack?

I have trudged
through your complete oeuvre --

published
and unpublished.

Of the metric ton of books
I've read in my lifetime,

“Supernatural” didn't even crack
the top 10...

thousand.

Respectfully.

You didn't like any of it?
Mnh-mnh.

Not even “Home”?
No.

Or “All Hell Breaks Loose”?

Ugh!
Way too much melodrama.

And then
you put yourself in the story?

God!

Okay, that's fair.
Mildly constructive.

Still,
it doesn't justify you...

burning one of my books, though.

What are you
talking about?

“Tall Tales.”

You were monologuing
it to Castiel,

and you threw one
in the fire.

How do you know
about that?

Oh, I'm sorry.
I always forget.

People can't see me
unless I want them to see me.

It's very confusing.

Here, visual aid.

Put these on.

It will help.
Go on, just do it.

It's a whole thing.

♪ King of Kings ♪

♪ And Lord of Lords ♪

You.

♪ And he shall reign ♪
God.

♪ Supernatural 11x20 ♪
Don't Call Me Shurley
Original Air Date on May 4, 2016

== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man

God.

You've come back.

I can't believe
you've come back.

I-I didn't mean what I said
about “Supernatural.”

It's underrated --
due for a reboot.

And this bar --
it's not crappy at all.

It's just like the one
in “Cheers.”

Everybody knows my name!

And the lights
are very forgiving.

Okay, yeah, please,
all the kneeling and stuff,

it's always made me deeply,
deeply uncomfortable.

Just don't use the G-word,
okay?

Just --
Just call me Chuck.

Chuck?

Chuck.

I think
I need a stiffer drink.

Oh, perfect.
We're gonna need our suits.

Tell me you got something
on Amara.

Uh, it's a long shot,
but clock's ticking, right?

Whatever Amara's doing
to Lucifer.

Yeah, beating on Cass
in the meantime.

Yeah.

Uh, Hope Springs, Idaho.
A guy named Wes Cooper

killed himself
after killing a co-worker.

According to the reports,
though, nobody knows why.

Apparently, he was a perfectly
happy guy, and then...

snap.

So, what, possession?

Or he was soulless.

It ain't much, but given
what we've got, I'll take it.

Yeah.

There you go.

Thanks.

Dude, quit ironing my shirts
with beer!

So, what you been up to?

Oh,
I've been super busy.

Yeah, I traveled.
Mm-hmm.

I started a blog.
Mostly just pictures of cats.

Oh.
They're so cute.

And, uh --
Oh, I signed up for Snapchat.

A-And I started
a new series of books.

Yeah. “Revolution.”

But I don't think
it's going anywhere.

“Revolution”?
Yeah.

“Supernatural.”

Maybe titles
aren't your thing.

You're not wrong.

But why did you put on the
Chuck suit in the first place?

How did that make any sense
to you?

I like
front-row seats.

You know, I figured
I'd hide out in plain sight.

You know, plus,
you know, acting is fun.

Well...it's an Oscar-worthy
performance.

But...how did nobody know?

I mean, w-what about
that amulet thingy?

Y-You told me about it,
some...

silly charm that burned brightly
in the presence of you.

You mean this?
Yes!

Dean had it.

And your fav --
Castiel.

They were around you.

How did it never --
I turned it off.

See?

♪ When I'm not home ♪

I should really
put this away.

You'll never guess where this
thing has been this entire time.

Look, I don't care
about that ugly old thing

or why you were slumming it
with the plebes.

Let's brass some tacks already,
okay?

♪ Oh, when you're home
and you know you're all alone ♪

You see and hear all.

You know what an absolute
piece of garbage I've been

the last couple of years.

♪ If your mama wanna visit us ♪

Did you bring me here
to destroy me?

♪ Tell her I get home
'bout the break a day ♪

You know what humanity's
greatest creation has been?

♪ So, tell her
to please stay away ♪

Music.

That and nacho cheese.

Even I couldn't have dreamt up
that deliciousness.

But music...

is magic.

A lot of remarkable music
was created in this space.

B.G.'s Canteen.

Now, it's not as well-known as
the Bitter End or the Gaslight,

but some amazing musicians
got their start on this stage.

I'm hoping that you and I can
tap into some of that old magic

and finish what I started
a few months ago.

♪ You might feel a little sick,
baby ♪

♪ And you know you're home
all alone ♪

You wrote
your autobiography.

Ish.

I mean, there are chapters,
it's kind of a loose structure,

uh, but, I don't know,
something's missing.

I'm -- I'm stuck.

You want to get the old band
back together.

Lennon and McCartney
ride again.

Well, I'm kind of
Lennon and McCartney, so...

But every writer
needs a good editor.

I did some of my best work
with you, Metatron.

Does this mean I get to be
an angel again?

Yeah, right.

No, no, that's never --
never happening.

That's probably a good call.
I think so.

♪ Oh, when you're home
and you know you're all alone ♪

Well...

...let's do this.

Appreciate the FBI
taking an interest in this case.

We don't really see things
like this around here.

Hey, you mind
if I knock off, Sheriff?

Let me guess --
Art's back?

Newlyweds.

You can head home after you show
Agent Greer the M.E. files.

Thank you, Sir.

Thanks.

What do you have
on Wes Cooper?

I talked
to his friends, family.

Nobody can make heads or tails
of why he did this.

We have a witness who overheard
Wes before he took his own life.

He was saying things
that sounded out of character.

Yeah? How so?

Wes said
that his life was meaningless,

nobody loved him.

It was like every
negative thought he had ever had

came spilling out.

The thing is...

I knew Wes' wife.
We sang in choir together.

She loved Wes
till the day she died.

I don't know why
he'd say anything like that.

And then there's this.

Hold on a second.

I've actually seen
something like that before.

Deputy, tell me,

have you noticed any
strange phenomena around town?

Uh, sulfur smells
or power outages?

Maybe an unexplained fog?

No, sir.

It's always sunny
in Hope Springs.

At least, it used to be.

Are you in a hurry
or something?

I'm on
a bit of a deadline.

Just give me some broad strokes,
first impressions.

Come on, hit me.

It's good.

Real good.

Oh, man.

You hate it.

What? No.

I love it.
Love it.

Last time I saw that look
on an editor's face,

I'd just handed in “Bugs”"

All right, come on.

Safe place.

Details are
what make a story great.

This is lacking
in some details.

Like all of them.

“In the beginning,
there was me.”

Boom -- detail.
And what a grabber.

I mean, I'm hooked,
and I was there.

I'm hooked, too,
and yet...

details.

You weren't alone
in the beginning.

Your sister
was with you.

Who cares about her?

Um...

me...for starters.

I assume you're aware
that she's...

out and about.

Tanned, rested,
and ready.

I mean,
that's why you're back, right?

This isn't her story.

It's mine.

Hey.

I thought
you were coming home early.

I'm sorry.
Paperwork.

That follow you in
from town?

Honey, you want to head inside
while I call this in?

It's just fog.

Hey, you know I'm the law,
right?

See you inside,
Deputy.

Don't forget your cuffs.

Hey, dispatch,
this is 3-William-56.

You got your ears on?

Aren't you done
for today, Deputy?

I am.

Listen,
I know this might sound odd,

but there's a heavy fog
headed my way.

We expecting
any weather like that?

No, it's supposed to be
clear skies all night.

That bad?

I'll tell you, there's some
great bones in there.

I'm thinking
what's missing --

maybe less about detail
and more about balance.

How do you mean?

You're giving the wrong stuff
too much real estate.

Like that chapter
about being Chuck.

Mm-hmm.
And what about it?

Once you've explained
the Vonnegut performance art...

that should be it.

No one cares
about the rest.

I did some great stuff
as Chuck.

I mean,
I-I told you about my blog.

Oh.
Oh, right, yeah. Right.

Your, uh --
Your cat-pic blog.

Yeah,
they're super cute.

Yeah.
So there's that.

And, uh, I traveled a lot,
you know.

Right.
And, uh, I dated.

Yeah,
I had some girlfriends.

Mm.
Had a few boyfriends.

Oh.
Oh!

And I learned
how to play guitar.

Hmm. Yeah.

That, you know,
makes you seem like

a really grounded,
likable person.

Yeah,
what's wrong with that?

You are neither grounded
nor a person!

So you're saying I'm likable.
No, no.

I am saying
the chapter “Chuckle”"

is devouring pounds of pages
at the expense of...

juicier stuff.

Stuff that people
might actually want to read.

Like what?

Well, like, uh...

Like the archangels.

I mean, you have got maybe
two paragraphs on them in here.

And that's it!

Don't you think they deserve
a few extra words?

Especially your favorite --
Lucifer?

He wasn't my favorite.

Oh.

He helped you
defeat Amara.

You trusted him
with the mark.

And when you asked him
to bow to mankind --

He refused.

He rebelled!

And in doing so,
kind of wrecked Christmas.

Okay,
all that's in there.

Except the -- the bit
about Christmas.

If you say that Amara
is off limits, fine.

But you know
every great hero

is defined by his or her
villain.

Lucifer was not
a villain.

He -- He's...

H-He wasn't a villain.

Okay.

Real talk.

Th-This is still
a safe place, right?

Safest place
ever created.

Okay.

There are two types
of memoir.

One is honest...

the other,
not so much.

Truth and fairy tale.

Now, do you want to write
“Life” by Keith Richards?

Or do you want
to write

“Wouldn't It Be Nice”
by Brian Wilson?

I want
to tell the truth.

Then you've got
some work to do.

There are no revelations
in this book!

And that's weird,
given who you are.

There's no new information,
no soul-bearing.

That's because
I don't have a soul.

Right!

But you invented them.

You invented souls!

Souls!

Try shining a light
on that.

How did that
make you feel?

Nauseous.

Oh!

You know what?!
No.

That is not G-O-D talking.

That's Chuck talking.

And I get it --

when you were on Earth,
you had to go full method.

Well, it's time for you
to get back into character.

This is me.

Really?

This --

This pile of self-doubt and
nebbishness flooded the Earth?

Followed up Sodom
with a blockbuster Gomorrah?

Created
as much as he punished?

No! Unh-unh!

The guy I worked for --
total badass!

And yes,
he could be a dick.

Now, that guy...

had some stories
to tell.

And he has a lot
to answer for.

Okay, so...

...what do I do?

Hold up a mirror
and show us who you are.

Warts and all.

Write for
an audience of one --

you.

Dance like
no one else is watching.

Yeah.

I'm gonna help you
either way.

But you've got to
pick a lane.

Richards or Wilson,
Chuck?

Richards --
all the way.

Sorry I woke you boys.

No, no,
it's all right.

Just, uh, why don't you tell us
what happened here?

Harris didn't show up for work
this morning.

We called, tried her CB,
nothing.

So I swung by here.

I found Art
on the kitchen floor,

Harris' shotgun
right next to him. She...

It looks like
Deputy Harris

shot her husband
point-blank in the face,

then left the scene.

Did you notice
anything off

about Deputy Harris' behavior
the last couple days?

No.
Nothing at all.

When was the last time
anyone heard from her?

Called in
for the last time yesterday.

Said something about...

seeing some fog
rolling in.

I don't know why she cared
about the damn weather.

Would you get in contact
with your dispatch officer?

Tell her
to let us know

if she gets any more reports
like that again.

You serious?
Yeah, just to be safe.

And do you have any idea
where Harris might be now?

No.

But we can track her vehicle
from our office.

♪ Ooh, the storm is threatnin' ♪

♪ My very life today ♪

♪ If I don't get me some shelter ♪
Oh!

Oh, this!

This is
what I was talking about.

“Chapter 10 --
Why I Never Answer Prayers,

and You Should Be Glad
I Don't.”

And chapter 11 -- “The Truth
About Divine intervention

and Why I Avoid It
at All Costs.”

Better, right?
It's gold!

Kind of angry
with a side of bitter,

but, hey, it's real.

Now...

not to overstep my bounds,
but since you're on a roll,

there's one thing
that I've always wondered.

Maybe it will make
a good chapter,

maybe even a whole book.
Shoot.

Why?

♪ My very street today ♪

Can you be
more specific?

I kind of get
that question a lot

about
pretty much everything.

Why did you
create life?

♪ Or I think
I'm gonna fade away ♪

♪ War, children ♪

I was lonely.

♪ It's just a shot away ♪

Your sister
wasn't company enough?

♪ It's just a shot away ♪

I am being.

She's nothingness.

It's not exactly the makings
of a fun two-hander, you know?

Yeah.

But you didn't stop
at one archangel

or a handful of angels.

You created worlds.

I was stupid.

Naive.

I thought
if I could show my sister

that there was something more
than just us,

something better than us,
then maybe she'd change.

Maybe she'd stop...

being...her.

But...

every time
I'd build a new world...

she'd destroy it.

So you
and your archangels...

locked her away?

And you got down
to unfettered creation.

Tried to, anyway.

But...

this was
as close as I got

to something as good as
or better than me or my sister.

The National Park system?

Nature.

I mean, look what nature created
on its own.

What's more,
nature's smart enough to know

that sometimes,
there's no fixing things.

Sometimes you just have to
wipe the slate clean.

Wipe the slate clean.

Sure.

Natural selection.

Good times.

Of course, in your case,
that means flood the Earth,

but build
and stock a boat.

Start over fresh
on the B-side.

If Amara wipes the slate,
the slate's destroyed.

Everything is destroyed.

All your great work...
lost forever.

We should take a stroll,
then.

Enjoy it all one last time...
before it's all gone.

I can't make
heads or tails. Harris is...

was our computer person.

Can I give it a shot?

Sheriff?

Matt and Emmy
just called in.

They said they saw some fog
rolling in by Jasper Hills.

Did they say
where it was headed?

West
towards town.

Okay, call them back,
tell them to get inside,

shut their windows or doors
and seal it up,

and stay the hell away
from that fog.

Then get the word out
to everybody in town

they need to do
the same damn thing.

Hold on.

What are you
talking about?

My partner and I
have seen this before, okay?

Wes, Deputy Harris were infected
by something in this fog.

Now,
I know it sounds crazy --

No, it sounds like
we should call the CDC.

There's no time for that.
Found Deputy Harris.

She's on Main Street,
heading right this way.

All right,
we'll handle Harris.

Just please,
get the word out,

tell everybody
they need to stay inside,

seal up their windows,
their doors -- everything.

Do it.

Hey,
get them out of here.

Agent Greer, FBI. I need you to
get inside immediately.

Go.

I tried to kill myself.

But she won't let me.

She has a message --
for you, Dean Winchester.

Amara?
Is she here?

No.

But her words
have been echoing in my head

every since
I took a breath of that fog.

Did she tell you
to kill your husband?

And I watched myself
do it.

Okay, listen to me,
this is an infection.

Put the gun down.
Let us help you.

It's not an infection.

She says it's a mirror.

She's showing us all
the truth.

Darkness.

The light
was just a lie.

It will all
be over soon.

He's not
gonna save them.

It's all going away...

forever.

But not you, Dean.

Dean?

Dean!

Nature? Divine.

Human nature -- toxic.

They do like
blowing stuff up.

Yeah.

And the worst part --
they do it in my name.

And then
they come crying to me,

asking me to forgive,
to fix things.

Never taking
any responsibility.

What about
your responsibility?

I took responsibility...
by leaving.

At a certain point,
training wheels got to come off.

No one likes
a helicopter parent.

What about Amara?
She's your sister.

I took responsibility
for her, too.

Locked her away --
barely, I might add.

And who let her out?

Sam and Dean Winchester,

but they're trying
to fix that.

You know
I love those guys,

but the world
would still be spinning

with Demon Dean in it.

But Sam couldn't have that,
though, could he?

And so how is Amara being out
on me?

It's not.

But you helped
the Winchesters before.

Helped them?!
I've saved them!

I've rebuilt Castiel
more times than I can remember.

Look where that got me.

So you're just gonna
let Amara win?

Eh...
it's her time to shine.

Then why the hell are we working
on your stupid memoir?!

You think it's stupid?

No, I think it's stupid
to write a book

nobody is gonna be around
to read!

You told me to write
for an audience of one -- me.

And I think
we're finally getting somewhere.

You started writing the second
she came back, didn't you?

No wonder
you're on a deadline!

Now I understand
why you're masquerading

in that sad
little meat suit!

For the same reason
you created this nostalgic bar

to write your masterpiece in --
you're hiding!

Okay.

First of all,
this gift...

is super cute.

Secondly, I'm not hiding.

I just like the ambiance
in here.

You said...

the safest place
ever created.

Created by you...

to keep you safe
from Amara!

She can't touch you in here,
can she?

You're upset.
I-I understand.

And it's good
to let it out.

But, uh, let's focus
on, uh, finishing my book.

You know,
I was a crappy, terrible god.

My work was pretty much
a lame, half-assed rewrite

of your greatest hits.

But at least
I was never a coward.

There he is.

That's the guy I know,
the guy I love.

I remember
the first time I saw you.

All the angels were terrified,
but I wasn't.

The feeling
of your light was...

was just beyond measure.

And then the unthinkable.

You picked me to help you
with your tablets.

You were just
the closest angel to the door

when I walked
into the room.

There's nothing special
about you, Metatron.

Not then...

not now.

Now...

I've been called
many things --

absentee father,
wrathful monster.

But coward...

I am not hiding.

I am just done watching
my experiments' failures.

You mean your failures,
Chuck.

You want to watch?
Be my guest.

Reports are that there wasn't
a cloud in the sky,

but as we know,
a dense fog did roll in.

And many citizens
also are feeling

some sort of impact
from this fog

leads us to believe
that there is some sort of...

If you ask me,
they're all reruns.

...have been overwhelmed as the
National Guard has been brought in.

Hey, you got to go.
Get!

Hey, sweetheart.

Okay, we're gonna get you
out of here.

We're gonna get you safe,
okay?

Don't you worry, okay?
Give me your hands.

Oh.

Thank you so much.

Okay. Okay.

Thank you.
What the hell's going on?

Just get out of here,
okay?

What's this fog doing?
Just get inside now!

Go, go!

Come on.
Sam, Sam.

Let them go!

Agent Ehart?
Radio's dead.

You have
any duct tape?

Sam? Sam?!

Sheriff, let's see if we can't
fix that radio of yours.

Dean?

You hear that?

Dean.

Sam!

Folks, we need to stay
together, okay?

Sam?

No, no, get back!
Don't!

My God, he's infected.

Everybody, get inside!

Everybody.

Come on. Let's move.
Come on.

Come on! Let's go!
Get in here!

No, I'm not leaving
my brother.

You know, you really are
a terrific editor, Metatron.

Well,
I was a terrible writer.

A worse god.

It's good
I got something going for me.

Yeah, you know,
I have to say,

I didn't see the whole
evil-turn thing coming.

Mm-hmm.

Why did you try to be me?

That was just a sad,
pathetic cry for attention.

Whose attention
were you trying to get?

Yours.

You are light...

and beauty.

Creation.

Wrath.

Damnation
and salvation.

And I don't care if I was
just the angel nearest the door.

You picked me.

Your light
shined on me -- me!

Oh, and the warmth.

But then you left me.

You left all of us.

It wasn't just the saps on Earth
who were praying to you.

The angels prayed, too.

And so did I --
every day.

I know.

You want to write

the best-selling autobiography
of all time,

you explain to me --
tell me why you abandoned me.

Us.

Because
you disappointed me.

You all
disappointed me.

No, look.

I know
I'm a disappointment,

but you're wrong
about humanity.

They are
your greatest creation

because they're better
than you are.

Yeah, sure, they're weak
and they cheat and steal

and...destroy
and disappoint.

But they also give
and create

and they sing and dance
and love.

And above all,
they never give up.

But you do.

Sam!

Hey, listen to me!

Sam!
We're not gonna make it.

No, no, no.
There's no quitting here.

We're never gonna make it.
Sam, listen to me.

That's not you talking,
it's the fog.

You were gonna choose Amara
over me.

Over everything.

Sam, no!

Look, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean that, Dean.

I can't fight this.
You got to go.

You got to get out
before you're infected.

Go before I hurt you!

No, I'm not leaving you --
ever!

Okay.

Stop this!

You hear me, you dick?!

No, no,
no, no, no, no, no!

Hey, hey,
look at me.

Look at me.
I'm right here.

I'm right here.

Okay, it's okay.
It's all right.

I'm right here.

I'm right here.

Oh!

Yeah.

Ahh.

You know, I lied before.

I didn't really learn
to play guitar.

I just kind of...
gave myself the ability.

I did the same
when I “learned” French.

Man, this whole honesty thing --
it's really freeing.

Come on.

Take a look
at the new pages.

You know you want to.

I think I'll pass.

I think
you're really gonna like them.

You're right.
It -- It's a little high.

All right.

Suit yourself.

♪ If I had wings ♪

♪ Like Noah's dove ♪

♪ I'd fly up the river ♪

♪ To the one I love ♪

♪ Fare thee well ♪

♪ Oh, honey ♪

♪ Fare thee well ♪

♪ I knew a man ♪

♪ Who was long and tall ♪

♪ He moved his body ♪

♪ Like a cannonball ♪

♪ Oh, fare thee well ♪

♪ Oh, honey ♪

♪ Fare thee well ♪

♪ Remember one night ♪

♪ In the drizzling rain ♪

♪ And around my heart ♪

♪ I felt an aching pain ♪

♪ Fare thee well ♪

♪ Oh, honey ♪

♪ Fare thee well, mm-mm ♪

♪ One of these days ♪

♪ It won't be long ♪

♪ You'll call my name ♪

♪ And I'll be gone ♪

♪ Fare thee well ♪

♪ Oh, honey ♪

♪ Fare thee well ♪

♪ Fare thee well ♪

You okay?
Thanks.

Mom!

We should probably talk.

== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man