Supernatural (2005–…): Season 11, Episode 18 - Hell's Angel - full transcript

Lucifer tries to assert himself into heaven; Crowley tells Sam and Dean they must take down Lucifer.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it -
Lucifer was the biggest monster
ever hatched,

until you and I hatched one
that's even worse.

I was the beginning,
and I will be the end.

I will be all that there is.

You're taking people's lives.

If you resist, each and every
angel in the skies

will smite you.

Can you really beat her?

- I can.
- Then yes.


Bloody hell.

Lucifer: What about you,
little puppy?

Use your tongue.

Sam: "The Hand of God"...
A super weapon.

Do you think we can use it
against Amara?

Simmons: What is this?

The Rod of Aaron.

A Hand of God.

Sam: If we're gonna fight her,
what better way to arm up

than with an actual dose
of His power?

It's kicked.

You're out of juice, huh?

Dean: We've got jack
on another Hand of God,

and we've got even less jack
on how to save Cass.

If he wants to be saved.

He does.


[ Men conversing in Arabic ]

[ Wind gusts ]

I came when you asked.

You're looking
a trifle peaky.

[ Chuckles ]

Do you truly have it?

And it's yours...

if you hold up
your end of the bargain.

[ Grunts ]

[ Sighs ]

I've had a good life...

thanks to you.

Very few of the world's secrets
I haven't cracked.

It seemed worth a soul...

at the time.


It always does.

Destroy that thing.

Show me the object first.

[ Scoffs ]

A shofar.

The Horn of Joshua,
touched by the hand of God.


Easy there.

It's authentic.

I can feel it.

Now tear that thing up.

[ Sighs ]

Thank God.

I don't think I have long.

How very prescient of you.

[ Neck snaps ]
[ Grunts ]


[ Guns cock ]

[ Man speaking Arabic ]

[ Man shouting in Arabic ]



Are you not hearing me?

I said
I have in my possession

the solution
to our collective problems.

You should be doing a jig.

I don't jig.

Now, how do I know
you even escaped Lucifer

and he's not making you
say all this?

Honestly, you cynicism
is depressing.

[ Siren wails in distance ]

Why would Lucifer
force me to discuss

the very means
of his destruction?

What are you talking about?

A weapon...
One that channels divinity.

[ Sighs ]

Yes, powerful enough
to help destroy

a force like the Darkness...

or Lucifer.

Tell me you haven't been
searching for such a thing.

A Hand of God?
Of course we have.

Thought as much.

St. Louis.
The old post office on Beekman.


[ Cellphone beeps ]


[ Cellphone beeps ]


Amara: [ Weakly ] How do I know
that any of this is working?

I don't feel any different,
for all of your promises.

I warn you, I'm not one
to be trifled with.

Rowena: Shh.

Mahday, eelohtah sahn.

Serloh, eelohtah.

That's enough for now,
poor wee thing,

but you're coming along.

I'll heal you
just as I promised.

And who are you again?

One who communes
with the natural forces

and channels them to help
the less fortunate,

such as yourself.



You're his mother.

Say what, dear?

Uncle Crowley's mother.


He tried controlling me
when I was a child.

Did he send you
to bring me back?

Heavens, no.

My son and I
loathe each other.

Then why
are you helping me?

Because you're going to win,
my dear.

Yes, I know about
the grievance

between you and your brother
and his archangel.

I have my own ax to grind
with Lucifer.

You know him?

[ Scoffs ] Know him?

[ Neck snaps ]

And yet, you live.


Like yourself,
I'm a survivor.

A hard life has taught me
to be prepared.

I, long ago, secreted
within my person

a wee casket
of powerful magic.

When the spell inside me
sensed my life-force ebbing...

it went to work.

And I was revived.

[ Gasps ]

[ Breathing heavily ]

Where is Lucifer now?

He's hidden himself
from me,

and I, too,
have a score to settle.

All in good time.

Right now,
you're still weak

from that pesky
angel smiting.

And you can fix that?

Aye, and so much more.

You can
destroy your enemies

and, I imagine,
remake the world

any way you choose.

And I...
will be by your side.


Dean: Nice digs.

The Crypt Keeper
out of town?

I'm lucky to be alive.

Lucifer had me trussed up
like a dog in my own palace.


Oh, you mean
the abandoned nuthouse.

He kept me in a kennel!

[ Chuckles ]

And he turned
all his demons...

My demons... against me.

They scour the earth, day
and night, looking to kill me.

He has to be dealt with.

So is this why
you brought us here?

Some lousy grudge match
with Lucifer?

Yeah, where's this, uh,
Hand of God

you were talking about?

I'm getting to that.

Your only hope
of subduing Amara

is to match the level of power
that she possesses.

No kidding.

And I have
the Horn of Joshua.


As in the Joshua
that won the battle of Jericho.

And I'm willing to entrust it
to your capable hands.

What? I just said
I'd give you the thing.


Is this how
you say "thank you"?

You think these things
grow on bloody trees?!

Cut the crap, Crowley.

With you,
there's always an "if".


I will give you the Horn

if you help me exorcise Lucifer
from Castiel's vessel

and then return him
immediately to the Cage.

Oh, that's all?


And where is this horn?

Safely hidden, naturally.

Crowley, even if we could
exorcise Lucifer out of Cass,

the Cage is damn near

It took a spell
from the Book of the Damned

to spring Lucifer,
and Rowena hid the book.

And we would need both the book
and her to even have a shot.

Did I say
this would be easy?

No. I did not.

Do you even know
where Rowena is?

Rotting somewhere,
I assume.

Lucifer snapped her neck.

[ Beeping, whirring ]

[ Beeping, whirring ]



How's it hangin'?

Easy, there.

So perfect.

Castiel, one of heaven's
most wanted,

possessed by
heaven's most hated.

I come in peace.

I just want to be a part
of the action again.

I want to lend a hand.


[ Exhales sharply ]

Lucifer: Okay, guys.

So, trying to smite the Darkness
was a bust, huh?

You had all of the power
of heaven behind you.

Couldn't even
slow the bitch down.

Well, no need to feel
like abject losers.

You learned
a valuable lesson here.

You need me.

All right.

Not giddy with awe.


exploded Jofiel.

Or did Jofiel
explode himself?

Just sayin'.

God cast you out of heaven.

And who do you think
spread that tabloid headline?

It was Captain G,
the Eternal One.

And why?

Because I didn't buy in

to his obsessive-compulsive love
for mankind.

Mankind is his creation.

Oh, come on!

It's not like he invented
the Prius,

which actually works.

I don't have to tell you people
what a mess mankind is.

The Salem Witch Trials...

Third Reich...

[ Heels click ]

Twin Towers.

And, sure,
every once in a while,

He'll send down a little plague
to straighten them out,

but it's nothing permanent.

Humanity brought us
Hiroshima and got a redo.

I merely questioned
His priorities,

and I got the boot.

He said you're evil.


E-Evil incarnate.

It's marketing.

He's creating a need
in the consumer's mind.

Can't be a Super Savior if
you don't have a Super Villain.

So, what are you offering?

a way out of this pickle.

By "pickle,"
you mean the Darkness.

You can reason with her?

Well... I doubt that.

But I can lock her away.

This time for good.

Done it before.

Oh, Pops didn't tell you that,

Once you've...

gotten rid of her,

you'll want...


stay around?

Oh, I like the way you think.

Man, am I jazzed!


If it makes you comfy,

could call me God.

Dean: Hold on, okay?

Let's just
put it in reverse.

We will put Lucifer
back in the Cage

after we put
Amara back on ice.

It has to happen in that order,
otherwise there is no Lucifer,

there's no Cage,
there's no nothing.

He's spent years marinating
in hate against us!

He has to go.

Problem is,
we may need him.

He's been down this road
with Amara before.

He might be the only one
powerful enough

to use the Horn against her.

He had me
cleaning the floors

with my tongue!

He called me "puppy"!

He made me beg!

All right.
Come on.

Is this what this is about?

Your stupid ego?

The fact that he dissed you

in front of a bunch
of stupid demons?

You're smarter than this.
Come on!

Dean's right.

Priority is to put the Horn
in Lucifer's hands

and set him loose on Amara.

After we exorcise Lucifer
out of Cass

and put him
into a new vessel.


- Really?
- Yes, really.

We're not gonna send Lucifer
into battle inside Cass.

What if he doesn't make it?

Dean, it's a strong vessel.

It's held Cass for years,

and we know
what he's been through.

I'm guessing
it can hold Lucifer.


It's not an "it," Sam.
It's Cass.

And Cass wanted to do this.

Yeah, well, there's times
I want to get slapped during sex

by a girl
wearing a Zorro mask.

That don't make
it a good idea.

Dean, this is exactly
how we screw ourselves.

W-We make the...
The heart choice

instead of
the smart choice.

Oh, okay.
Thank you, Dr. Phil.

Cass is family.

Yes, and his choice
deserves to be respected.

Even if it kills him.

It's killing me.

I would rather stick
white-hot skewers in my eyes

than listen
to you two bitches bicker!

I gave you
the terms of my deal.

If Lucifer's not back
in the Cage,

the Horn stays hidden.

The vessel is
healing nicely.

Soon you'll be shipshape
and Bristol fashion.

Amara: You seem pleased
with my progress.

But I don't sense in you
the capacity for kindness

or... concern.

Kindness gets you a hug,

not a seat
at the big boys' table.

And what is it you want?

Oh, like yourself,
I want revenge on Lucifer.

But more than that,
I want to be there

when you remake the universe
to your taste.


I'm told my tastes run towards
the catastrophic.


The Winchesters say you are all
about destruction.

The Winchesters are right.


what they call

[Sighs] I call renovation.

My blueprints.
Not God's.

That's my girl.

Do things the way
you would have done them.

I will.

And where do you
fit into that?

Oh, I can be useful.

Provide you
with information

on the troublesome brothers
and Lucifer...

Their plans.

And even if it is born
out of my own self-interest,

I... I care about you.

I'm someone
you can talk with.

Confide in.

Have you...
Have you ever had that?

I've always been alone.

Oh, you don't have to be,



whatever you're doing,
it seems to be working.

Maybe I should try
a little test.

Thank you.
Hey, I like your spunk.

There's always room for
a go-getter in my organization.

- [ Breathing heavily ]
- Hey, I know I can count on you.

But what about your people?

They on board, or we need
to do a little wing-twisting?

[ Nervously ] I'll have
to think about it.

Don't you think about it
too long.

You know what they say...
He who hesitates...


You know,
this is a dick move, Crowley.

Even for you.

You're not
being reasonable.

I don't have to be reasonable.
I'm the king.

You look great.
You been working out?


Hear me!

[ Rumbling, whooshing ]

[ Rumbling ]

[ Electricity crackling ]

[ Whooshing ]

[ Rumbling ]

What the hell was that?

[ Indistinct shouting ]

[ Whooshing ]

[ Electricity crackling,
rumbling ]

You know what, fellas?
I think that's her.

[ Angels murmuring ]

Lucifer: Well, that...

was a little payback,
ladies and gents.

I don't think Auntie Amara

appreciated your little
half-assed smiting.

And, uh [Sucks teeth]
guess what...

This... This is just a teeny
taste of what's to come.

So, clearly my expertise
is gonna come in handy.

'Cause God knows what's next.


I almost forgot.


God doesn't care.


[ Chuckles ]

I'm back.


S-So now we all just saw
what happens

when she's in a bad mood,

which, apparently, she's been in
since the dawn of time.

I think she just
rattled heaven

with a flick
of her pinkie finger.

That's not a big enough dose
of reality for you?

[ Indistinct voices whispering ]

Why are we arguing?

We all know that he has
to go back in the Cage.

Yes, when it makes sense.

Amara's the big picture
here now, okay?

Look, in order
to take her out,

Lucifer has got to have
the Horn of Joshua.

He does her, we do him.

Check, please.

[ Gasps ]

Well? What are the Winchesters
preparing to do?

Mm, nothing.

Paralyzed with fear.

They don't know what to do.

You're right.

You're actually handy
to have around.


Lovely of you to say.

Crowley, ticktock.
You with us?

The crux of your dispute

is your contention
that Lucifer,

and only Lucifer,

can use the Horn
to beat Amara, right?

You got it.

Well, that scenario
only works

if you actually possess
said Horn, which you do not.

No, we don't.
But you do, so...

Exactly! I do!

This isn't a negotiation.

I have the high cards,
and you have...

Hold on.
Give me a second.

Let me have a look...
No cards!

My offer stands.

When we sprung Lucifer
from the Cage,

we had Rowena
and the Book of the Damned.

Both of which we will need

to put him back in the Cage,
both of which are gone.


Back to you.


Look at this.

I hate this.


And, by the way,
where the hell is Crowley?

I mean, we're essentially
all set up.

Yeah, I mean, he's the one
that boxed us into doing this.

You'd think he'd have
the decency to...

Show up?

He does.

Because without the bait,


a trap really isn't
a trap, is it?

[ Scoffs ]
That's it?

Doesn't look like much,
does it?

First impressions
can be deceiving, Moose.

For instance, I once thought
of you as dull and plodding.

Oh, never mind.
Bad analogy.

For the record, we still think
this is a bad idea.

We should be using Lucifer,
not icing him.

I'm aware.

So I'll be standing right here
should you hesitate.

The hand that giveth
can so quickly taketh away.

Yes, we getteth it.

So, Mummy,
you were telling us

your fascinating tale
of resurrection.

But you never did
say exactly

where you'd been
this whole time.

Same as you, Fergus.

Once the Dark Prince
knew I was alive, I wouldn't be.

No mucking about
like last time.

The warding
and the holy fire

won't keep an archangel
but for a moment.

If he shows up at all.

Oh, he'll show.

He's too hungry
to take Amara out,

and we've got
the blaster to do it.

In nomine magni
dei nostri Satanas,

introibo ad altare
Domini Inferi.

I summon you
to make an offer.

The weapon by which
its bearer

can crush
the Darkness forever.

[ Thunder crashes ]


Sam, now!

I'm sorry.

Your prayer implied
that I'd be...

joining the team,

but I'm just not feeling
the warm and fuzzy here.


There it is.

Powered up by Dad himself.

Well, that bad boy plus me...

That ought to take her out
all right.

[ Claps ]

Let's get to it.

Douse the flames.

[ Snaps fingers ]

Or don't?



Castiel, show yourself!

[ Grunting, breathing heavily ]



What are you doing?

What's going on?

Cass, listen to me.

We don't have a whole lot
of time, okay?

You have got to...

[ Grunting ]

[ Growling ]


[ Grunting ]

Castiel, show yourself!

[ Laughs ]



Uh, he's got to what?

[ Sighs ]
You boys...

[ Laughs ]

Ooh, you almost
had me there for a minute,

but these
mail-order spells...

They're just not what they're
cracked up to be, are they?

Cass, expel him!
You got to kick Lucifer out!

Do you hear me?!

Honestly, I think he's happy
with the arrangement.

I mean, he did invite me in
and all, Dean.


[ Mockingly ] Cass!

Hand over the weapon.
What do you say?

Or we can just wait
for this warding to fail

and I'll take it.

Bloody hell.

[ Growling ]

Is it going to be all right?

It's going to be all right!

Announcer: [ Laughs ]
Oh, you bet!

Dear friends,
it is going to be all right.

It's going to be
all right tonight.


Man: The world ended.

Oh, Crowley.
What are you doing here?

Uh, say,
who was born today?

Is this the Winchesters'

Woman: Uh, nobody, Hugh.

Sort of.

Man: This is UTV...

I come here in my mind
to pass the time.

For some reason,
it has excellent reception.

What's wrong with you?
What has Lucifer done to you?

Does Peggy know that?

Well, he mostly
just leaves me alone.

I'm just waiting here,
you know,

for the battle
with the Darkness.

He's really
got his hooks in you.

Snap out of it.

Do you know what's happening
out there?

The Winchesters
have trapped the abomination

so that you can expel him

so that they can
put him back in the Cage.

Trail of Tears golf...

Well, that doesn't sound like
a very good idea.

In your current state,
you're in no position to judge.

Because I never lie...

Wait. That was Dean I saw
a minute ago, wasn't it?


And he wants me
to expel Lucifer?


Okay, Mother.

[ Laughs ]

Ha, ha, ha! No, son!


he may have a more objective
view of the situation.

Maybe I should.

So, let's do it now
before it's too late.

Lucifer: It already is.

[ Sighs ]

Really, Crowley?

You want to put me
back in the Cage?

Well, I'm not going anywhere,
and neither are you.

You know, he's been gone
a long time.

I mean, what do you think
is going on?

I don't know.

Maybe Cass isn't willing
to play ball.

I mean, you said it yourself...
He wanted this.

Rowena: Can't you people
do anything right?!

Whilst all this dithering
goes on, we're losing time!

The warding's beginning to fail.

Come on, Cass.
What the hell?

[ Grunting ]

Man: Shoes for industry. Shoes
for the dead. Shoes industry.

You second rate bean counter.


Then take off your shoes.

Guys, you're gonna
break something.

[ Sizzling ]

You wanted my throne.

You plotted to replace me!


Exorcizamus te,
omnis immundus spiritus,

omnis satanica potestas...

As if ambition and posturing
were the same as majesty!

[ Groans ]

Omnis incursio
infernalis adversarii.

Omnis legio! Omnis con...

Everyone in hell
despises you

and sees you
for exactly what you are...


Potestas, omnis incursio
infernalis adversarii.

Omnis legio! Omnis congregatio
et secta diabolica!

Ergo, draco maledicte
et omnis

[Echoing] legio diabolica,
adiuramus te!

Exorcizamus te,
omnis immundus spiritus,

omnis satanica potestas,

omnis incursio
infernalis adversarii.

Omnis legio! Omnis congregatio
et secta diabolica!

Ergo, draco maledicte
et omnis legio diabolica,

adiuramus te!

[ Gasps ]


Lucifer's hold on him
is too strong.

Lads, the fire!



Trick me?

You lied to me.

You know, I could have been
your warrior.

Ah. Who needs ya?


It's just like Crowley to leave right
when the party's getting started.

Have a seat.

As much as I get a giggle
out of you two, and I do,

there comes a time
when every relationship has...

run its course.


[ Both grunting ]

[ Gasps ]

Oh, Lucifer.

Dear nephew,

my, how you've changed.

I was tracking her
when she left my side.

You were
safely sealed away.

You're gonna wish
you'd stayed there.

[ Both grunting ]

[ Horn clatters ]

I think you and I
need to have a nice, long chat.


[ Both gasp ]


So, Rowena and Crowley...

Like mother, like son, huh?

They both took
exactly one split second

to take off when things
started going south.

- Yep.
- Here.

By the way, wh-what's Rowena
doing with Amara?

My guess...
She's playing the odds.

When sucking up to Lucifer
didn't work out,

maybe she thought
Amara was the best bet.

Then she heard Lucifer
had a shot,

so she switched horses

I thought
Lucifer had a shot.

Apparently, uh,
archangel plus God power

doesn't trump God sister.

But if the thing has to be used
by God's chosen,

then maybe an archangel who got
the boot doesn't qualify.

Either way,
horn's out of ammo, so...

So, back to square one.


[ Sighs ]

Listen, um...

I know I came down
on the side

of wanting Cass
to deal with Amara, so...

Well, that's what he wanted,
though, right?

Besides, didn't we say
that we were gonna swear off

getting in the way
when one person makes a choice

the other
doesn't agree with?

[ Sighs ]

Yeah, um...

Yeah, we did say that.



So, that's our policy.

Which sounds damn good.

[ Chuckles ]

Well, let's go find that idiot
and bring him home.


[ Grunts ]



[ Breathing heavily ]

Look, I know you have
a major beef with me.

You probably want
to finish me.

But you may want
to rethink your position.

'Cause I could actually
be of use to you.


You hadn't considered?

We both have an ax to grind
with God.

I know his soft spots.

He can't handle us both.

Do you, for one moment,

think that I would
actually consider

trusting you for anything?

I did trust you once.

You and my brother conspired
to seal me away for eons.

But you're right.

You might be
of some use to me.

All right.


Now we're talking.

[ Grunts ]

As God's favorite,
his first son,

you may be the one thing
in all of creation

that he still cares about,

the one thing that
could finally make him

show himself
so that I can confront him

and he can acknowledge
the wrongs he's done me.

And then he can witness
the utter destruction

of all his creation...

before he himself
is swept away.

You're expecting him?



I wouldn't wait up.

I'm pretty sure
he caught the last train out.


we'll see, won't we?

[ Screaming ]