Supergirl (2015–…): Season 4, Episode 1 - American Alien - full transcript

Thank you, Supergirl.

You're welcome.

Please welcome President Marsdin.

Good morning.

I'm happy to take any questions...

Sorry, I'm late,
but I come bearing gifts.

- Were you in Russia?
- Kaznia.

- Madam President? Madam President?
- Ms. Danvers.

You're about to hold a summit
at Camp David,

on the anniversary
of the Alien Amnesty Act.

Can you say a few words



about what this legislation has meant
to you the past two years?

Of course. The impact
has been far-reaching and profound.

- Immigrants...
- You are really good at multitasking.

Some might call it "super."

For the first time in my life,
I've got everything under control.

We're training, people.
Never charge without a plan.

Jensen, right?

Yes, Director Danvers.

Let's dance.

Again.

Director Danvers. President Marsdin
is arriving for her yearly visit.

- When?
- Uh... Now.

What?

Oh, well, Madam President.
What a surprise.



- So it seems.
- Yes, uh...

If you could just give me a minute,
then I can

get cleaned up and we can chat.

Agent Dox was supposed to
give me a warning before you arrived.

I believe I did,
right before she entered.

Was that not enough?

I just wanted to say,

with Superman off-world on Argo,
your team and Supergirl

have been doing a tremendous job
keeping this planet safe.

And I also wanted to say,

I think that J'onn J'onzz
made a very wise choice,

when he chose you as his successor.

Thank you. That means a lot to me.

Since you're here,
I would love to give you a tour,

show you some of the changes
that I've made.

- I'd like that.
- Okay.

The way you pushed the President

about her alien delegation selection
was perfect.

A reporter's job
is to demand transparency.

And with that said, I'd like you
to talk to the cub reporters

- who are starting today about that.
- Sure.

Yeah. And didn't Cat Grant
recommend one to you?

Yes, her name is Nia Nal.

Nia Nal's gonna need a mentor like you.

You're incredible, you know that?

Everything you're going through
right now.

The DA possibly indicting you
for being Guardian,

and here you are,
worrying about cub reporters.

That's because he leaves
the worrying about the DA to me.

You're back! How was Metropolis?

Oh, I am very happy to report

that Sam is doing amazing
at L-Corp Northeast.

She has made two acquisitions
that are already turning a profit.

- She's coaching Ruby's soccer team.
- Oh...

Apparently, they're playing
a 4-3-3 with a gegenpress,

- and Ruby's playing a sweeper keeper.
- I have no idea what that means.

I think it means
they're living happily ever after.

Well, I'll leave you two alone.

There's an article
about an alien summit I have to write.

- I have missed you.
- Mmm. Me, too.

James, I am worried
about this thing with the DA.

Mmm-hmm.

Listen, I know you have your strategy,

but I was speaking to my friends
in the mayor's office,

and they said the only path
out of this is to use some leverage.

Okay, they think that
the DA can be swayed.

- So, I was thinking that maybe I...
- Lena, please.

Hey, I don't want you
pulling any strings for me.

You've tried really hard

to separate yourself from
the criminal element in your family.

Don't get mixed up with this.

We'll handle the DA.

Look, I love the fact
that you wanna fight for me.

I do.

But the only thing
that I need right now,

is you by my side.

Hi. My name's Kesse Kay,
and I'm Aquarian.

- Hi, Kesse Kay.
- Hi, Kesse Kay.

Welcome. I'm Fiona.

What brings you to our group today?

I guess I'm just happy today,
and I want to share it.

For the first time since I've been
on this planet, I feel like I fit in.

And it's 'cause of this.

An image inducer.

You're not the only one
who's purchased one recently.

Bought it last week,

applied for a job,
and I actually got it.

All 'cause I look normal for once.

Who decides what's normal?

Why should we have to
wear these devices

that change our appearance,
so that we can be tolerated?

I have these tusks.
Why should I hide them?

That's easy for you to say,
you just look like a Tolkien fan.

You haven't been job-hunting
for six months,

and then been called a roach
by your interviewer.

It's not easy
for any of us, young man.

Dr. Vose has had his own struggles,

but his research in nuclear physics
is widely admired.

And he's used his platform to become
a great advocate for change.

We all must have the courage to be seen.

We each do the best we can,
in our own way.

See you all next week.

Can I help you?

Rough day, huh?

Please don't!

Would you believe me if I told you
this is no fun for me, either?

Ugh.

Maybe, a little bit of fun.

Wouldn't want you
all lopsided now, would we?

You are such a child.

Access granted.

I don't think
he wants you going in there.

I didn't think you needed
more of a heads-up

that the President was arriving.

You're good on your feet.

True, I process terabytes
in microseconds,

but you're not so slow yourself.

You don't process
as fast as you think you do.

Because I've been telling you for months

to warn me in advance
when things are important.

Like, Supergirl just cratered
at Vose Laboratories?

- I'll assemble a strike team.
- There's no time.

Long live the Legion.

No! Brainy!

I thought you could use some backup.

- Brainy!
- It is I.

You're free now, Supergirl.

- Free? The cuffs are still...
- Opened?

- Oh...
- I was multitasking.

You're welcome.

Got it.

No!

Dr. Vose.

I came as soon as I heard.
Are you all right?

They cut off my tusks, J'onn.

Maybe I was wrong.
None of us are safe.

J'onn.
What are you doing here?

Dr. Vose is a friend of mine.
I heard the attack on the news.

He's an outspoken advocate
for alien rights,

and most likely
the target of a hate crime.

This wasn't a hate crime, J'onn.
This was a high-level robbery.

These criminals were professionals.

They brought gravity cuffs.
They stole an EMP from Dr. Vose's lab.

If they blow that thing, it could
take out the entire power grid.

They cut off his tusks, Supergirl.

The very thing
that distinguishes him as an alien.

Yeah, to trick a biometric scan.

Look, I've been
living amongst the people,

getting a feel
for what's been going on.

There's a fresh wave of
anti-alien sentiment. I can feel it.

Look, I'm really sorry
about what happened to your friend,

but I think, in this case,

fact that he's an alien
is just happenstance.

You know, I'm late for CatCo,

but Brainy's on the case
and we will find them, I promise.

All right.

I'm back, having assisted Supergirl,
which was highly rewarding.

I'm very happy you were able to help.

But we seem to be having
a communication problem.

Oh, no, I assure you I understand
every word that comes out of your mouth.

Yes.

But you are not comprehending it.

Otherwise, you wouldn't have spent
the last three months

acting like a grain of sand in my boot.

Oh...

- I guess that does sound annoying.
- Yes.

Every time I tell you to do something
you either do too little,

- or too much.
- Yes, but I thought...

This isn't the Legion.

Okay? You don't get to just go rogue
whenever you feel like it.

So, from now on,
you don't leave this building,

you don't breathe, unless I tell you to.

Is that understood?

- Affirmative.
- Good.

May I breathe, now?

Excuse me. Sorry, sorry.
Hold the elevator! Excuse me.

- Hold the elevator!
- I got it.

Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, I am so late.

And the crazy thing is,
I am always punctual. Always.

And, of course, the one day it matters,

my new roommate
took the keys to my rental car,

accidentally, of course,
and I had to take the bus,

and I spilled coffee all over my skirt.

And all I wanted to do was make
a good first impression on Miss...

Danvers. It's you.

Uh, it's Kara. And do I know you?

Um... Kara.
Danvers. Kara Danvers. Wow!

- Um... I'm Nia. Nal.
- Oh, Nia. Nia, it's so nice to meet you.

Cat says amazing things about you.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Oh, the coffee is for you.

- Oh, thanks. Thank you.
- Sorry.

But you're a reporter,
you don't have to get me coffee.

Oh, I know. Um, but Ms. Grant
mentioned you like lattes,

so, I thought I'd pick one up.

She said you were particular
about the temperature,

so, I had it all perfectly planned out,

but then my plan went haywire,
no thanks to my roommate,

and I...

It's probably too cold by now.
I'm sorry.

Oh, my God.

You're me.

- I am?
- Yeah, totally. It's unnerving.

How am I you? Am I being you now?

I can totally stop, whatever it is.

I just wanna be good at my job.

Hey, no, it's okay.
Don't worry about it. Let's just...

- Let's get into the meeting.
- Okay.

- Hello?
- Got another update

from the DA's office.

Things are looking worse for Olsen.
Thought you'd wanna know.

Thank you.

That thing hits my hard drive,

it'll be family vacation 1996
all over again.

Only this time, the paramedics
won't be there to resuscitate you.

Buzzkill.

I see the good doctor was amenable.

Vose took some convincing, but yes.

- And then Supergirl showed up.
- And the EMP?

"Let him who desires peace
prepare for war."

Ms. Danvers? Uh... Kara.

- You wanted to see me?
- Yeah, I was just checking in.

I know James asked the new reporters
to pitch on the list of story ideas.

- Did you pick an article?
- Yes.

Uh, the feature on
National City's new fashion district.

- Really?
- You don't think it's a good idea?

It's fine. It's just I read
on your resume that you have a degree

in international relations
from Georgetown.

Are you sure you don't wanna do
something with a little more heft?

But there's nothing slight
about fashion, Kara.

It's one of the most
visceral forms of art.

What we choose to wear
tells a story about who we are.

Whether you wear black and leather
or pastels and silk,

you're creating
an inner version of yourself,

whether you realize it or not.

I never really thought
about clothes that way.

Well, what makes the story
so exciting is that

the fashion district's setting up
shop in the middle of East City.

New legislation is allowing designers

to live and work in industrial spaces
that have been abandoned for decades.

An area that's been a hotbed for crime

is going to be infused
with color and life.

Just think of all the kids
growing up in that neighborhood,

all the new job opportunities
that'll be created.

The fashion district article I wanna
write about isn't about clothes.

It's about community and growth,

and hope.

You need to pitch the article
exactly like that to James.

He's gonna love it.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Thank you very much.

- Brainy, what's up?
- Definitely not me.

I was grounded by Director Danvers.

But while I was chained to my desk,
not literally,

I stitched together various images

from surveillance at Vose's lab,
and ran them.

The images were rudimentary

and brought up
754,231 potential suspects.

I cross-checked each image
with known associates,

and narrowed identification
down to two.

Otis and Mercy Graves.

Brother and sister team.

- Do you have a location?
- Negative.

However, I was able to identify
an ex-employer

who might be able to help you
with an address.

Who is that?

Ms. Luthor,
you have a visitor.

Lena.

Oh, dear.

I hope I didn't have
that same expression

when you showed up this afternoon.

No, Mother, your face
was a mask of enigma as usual.

It's what keeps me looking young.

What are you doing here?

Funny, I could ask you
the same question.

I need to find Mercy and Otis Graves.

They worked for Lex.

And then for you, Cadmus.

Mercy was Lex's head of security.

And then turned
state's evidence on him. Betrayed him.

Put him behind bars.

So, you think I'd help you
with some sort of revenge?

I'm not vengeful anymore.

My heart's grown
several sizes in here.

Says the Grinch who stole Christmas.

A few months ago, when the planet
was being terraformed

by those other Kryptonians,
I was in my cell, under a mattress,

hoping the ceiling wouldn't fall
and crush me, and I realized

I didn't wanna die alone.

And if I didn't wanna die alone,
I had to change.

So, what do you wanna know
about the Graves siblings?

Besides they're monsters.

A list of every Cadmus location
you think they might be using to hide.

Just domestic? Or international?

Did I get the time wrong?

No.

No one else showed up.

After Dr. Vose was attacked,
they're scared.

You're from Ikthanol, am I right?

I am.

Which means you're an empath.

Although, sometimes,
I wish I weren't.

Things like this
are why I left Ikthanol.

And England, for that matter.

I can't run anymore.

I've been talking to people,

researching humans
who've threatened us.

We're starting a patrol group
in the neighborhood to fight back.

Would you join us?

Uh...

I've been fighting on the front line
for a long time now.

Those days are behind me.
I made a vow to live a peaceful life.

Stand up for people in a different way.

Die, roaches!

Get down!

Supergirl.

This was a hate crime,
no doubt about it.

Agreed.

I still believe the attack on Dr. Vose
was motivated by anti-alien sentiment.

He was a member of a support group here.

You should dig into it and see
if the two attacks were connected.

Dr. Vose's lab was robbed
by ex-Cadmus operatives.

This was an explosion outside of a bar.

I don't think there's any reason
to believe they're related.

I wouldn't dismiss the possibility.

I've been trying to tell you,

the climate towards the aliens
is changing.

Yeah, yes, I agree.
It is, but for the better.

And, yes,
there will always be extremists,

like whoever attacked the bar,

but overall, I think this country
has made incredible progress.

The President is about to celebrate

the second anniversary
of the Alien Amnesty Act,

and for the first time on Earth,

aliens are embraced as citizens
with equal rights...

Which is part of the backlash.

Assimilation of aliens
has sparked fear among many humans,

and aliens are feeling
the brunt of that anger.

I'm an alien,

and I've been
all over the world recently,

and I've never felt more love.

Part of the reason
why you're embraced as a hero

is because you present as human.

Most aliens do not share that privilege.

I'm afraid your experiences
are not the best barometer here.

I'm embraced as a hero
because I'm good at my job.

And I really don't appreciate you
questioning my judgment.

I'm just trying to offer you
a different perspective.

J'onn, you left the DEO.

So, maybe now, it's time
you leave protecting the city to me.

That looked contentious.

Is she always that stubborn?

She wants to remain hopeful.

It's one of the things
I most admire about her.

Did you finish the fried rice?

I'm sorry. I'm stress-eating.

Did you have a bad date?

No, the dating, it's actually...

- It's been great.
- Really?

No, don't get that look on your face
like you're gonna officiate my wedding.

No, I have not met a woman
that I am that serious about yet,

so, you know...

- But it's, it's good to get out there.
- Oh, that's great.

Mmm-hmm.

So, why are you scarfing the Io mein?

Brainy.

Oh, my God.

I'm sorry, but everything
he does just infuriates me.

I know it's mean, but it's just...

Ugh. I can't help it.

He's new to this time period.

That's a big adjustment.
I'm sure it's been hard.

- You should try to go easy on him.
- I'll try.

What about you?

- Me?
- We ordered your favorite

Chinese takeout,
and you haven't even taken a bite.

What's going on?

I thought you were on top of the world.

I got in a fight with J'onn.

- After the attack at the bar.
- Really?

He tried to convince me

that there is this hate movement
against aliens.

I mean, am I crazy?

I feel like the world
is better than it's ever been.

More diversity and more acceptance.

Sure, I mean, in some ways.

Ever since J'onn left the DEO,
I just feel so far from him.

I don't really know
what his life is like.

- Yeah.
- All I know is,

I hate his new point of view.
It just feels so ominous.

Well, J'onn is not an alarmist, Kara.

If he's trying to tell you something,
I would listen.

- What are you so afraid of?
- I'm not afraid of anything.

I just finally feel like
the world is good.

And I so badly want it
to stay that way,

even if it's just for a little while.

Kara Danvers... You are
the most courageous person I know.

And even if it's hard, if you face it,

you can conquer anything.

- I'll try.
- Ha.

Only if you conquer the urge to
not punch Brainy in the face.

Mmm-mmm. That is an unfair bargain.

Checkmate.

You just love saying that to me,
don't you?

I've let go of my anger, too, Mother.

- I can't waste my energy on it.
- Right.

You need all your energy
to focus on saving the world.

Although, all I've seen

are the commercials
of your image inducer.

Making a mint
hiding aliens in plain sight.

It's not political, Mother.
It's just business.

It helps fund my other research.
The important kind.

Ever the pragmatist.

And this visit?

I know chess with me is a good time,

but the love of the game
can't be the only reason

- I've seen you twice in as many days.
- The truth?

It's James, and the looming indictment.

Made me think about my life.

How much of it I've spent
living on an island.

I wanna reconnect. Rebuild
the relationships that I've lost.

And, yes, that does include you.

For better or for worse,
you're still my mother.

Things weren't always rosy,
but there were some good times.

Even with Lex.

It made me sad when the two of you
became enemies.

If I was still vengeful,
I'd blame Superman

for tearing this family apart.

Okay, I'm still vengeful.

I don't know if it was all Superman.

In my opinion, it was his relationship
with Bruno Mannheim

that started him down the wrong path.

That miscreant?

They were business partners, sure,

but Bruno was only in it
for the money laundering.

It's a shame how he used your brother's
business, and then dumped him.

I didn't know Bruno laundered money
through Luthor Corp.

Is there anything in my books
that I need to worry about?

Since you know where
all the bodies are buried.

I guess it's time I educated you.

All right, Sam, that's a smart angle
on the homeless crisis.

It's all yours.

All right, anybody else wanna take
a crack at fashion?

My pitch is to emphasize
that National City

as a global epicenter of fashion.

We dictate what's hot.
We set the trends.

And we're far overdue
for a glossy new fashion district

to represent our cultural importance.

FYI, my mother went to college
with Adrian Tyler.

The most famous living
American designer, so,

I have access to almost anyone
in this field for interviews,

- on the record.
- Nice.

Okay, anybody else
wanna take a crack at fashion?

Going once, going twice...

McKenzie, all yours.

Brainy...

I used the info
you got from Lillian Luthor,

and found a location for Mercy and Otis.

Would you believe it's an
abandoned warehouse?

There's no one here.

I had heat signatures there
30 minutes ago.

I'm hacking into
their computer network.

We'll scan for potential leads.
Hold on, please.

"I have a lead
on a Phorian at my son's school."

"How to make a bomb"?

"Earth first"?

Hey, I'm glad you picked up.

That weapon you sold me,
it barely burned those Phorians.

Who is this?

What do you mean? It's Karen.

Mom, Harry won't let me
use the computer.

I've got to go.

Brainy, the chat rooms
on these computers.

All filtered through the dark web.

ISPs originated
from all over the country.

Yet, untraceable.
But I did find something.

In a deleted email cache.

Blueprints of Camp David.

Mercy and Otis.

They're going to attack
the President's alien summit.

You were right. About the crimes.

They were motivated by hate.

And there's a web of people...

Now, that you know what's happening,
you can fight it, Kara.

But I need your help.

They're going to attack
the alien summit.

Help me keep it safe.

And then help me take on
the rest of this movement

because it is bigger than anything
I have ever fought.

The people involved in it
are like the people I save every day.

A villain, I know how to stop.
But these people...

I'm sorry,
but I cannot fight with you.

Not this time.

But you have to.

You were the first person to see this.

Who yelled at me to open my eyes.
How can you not join me now?

Because it's no longer
my path to fight.

When my father passed,
he gave me a message.

Live as H'ronmeer taught
and promote peace.

I cannot do that
whilst wielding a sword.

I will help those in need, and I will
be a voice for change like Dr. Vose.

I will support you, Kara.

But I cannot join your battle.
I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, Supergirl, but I can't.
I won't cancel the summit.

The Graves siblings are
dangerous operatives.

I'm afraid of what they could do to you
and your alien guests.

So am I.

But there's always someone
to be afraid of.

Some force, some threat
that's beyond our control.

And yet, we carry on.

A leader who caves to fear
is no leader at all.

I'll alert the Secret Service that
DEO will coordinate with them.

You're doing okay?

Yeah, and thanks for being here.

I know you pick your battles now.

Well, it seemed like
a good battle to pick.

I'm thrilled that you're here.

You know,
this is the first time in history

that we've hosted guests
that were not born on this planet.

At least that we, uh, know about.

President Eisenhower named it Camp
David after his son and grandson,

who were both named,
of course, David.

Alex, it's the EMP.

Mayday! Mayday!
Chopper is going down.

Everybody stay calm, nobody move.
Nobody move.

Secure the perimeter.

That was the EMP.

- Now, Agent Dox.
- Wavelength countermeasures active.

It worked. Nice one, Brainy.

Eureka!

The lights are blown in here.

We have to move the President
to the safe room.

That was just a distraction.
Madam President.

Do you think they're
inside the perimeter?

I know they are.

All right, take her back.
You guys go clear the house.

Alex, they're in DEO uniforms.

Okay, is everybody okay back there?

We're good. Let's get her out.

Now, go now. You'll be fine, ma'am.

Are you all right?

I'm fine, just get them!

Supergirl, I know
you can hear me, you filthy roach.

You need to know you won't stop this.

I'm stopping you both.

This isn't one of your battles
where it's good versus evil.

Because we are the good guys
fighting to save this country.

And we will do
whatever it takes to win.

Help!

Supergirl!

You really thought,
my sister would kill me?

You think you stopped this tonight,
but the fuse was lit,

and it's gonna be beautiful.

Everyone's safe here.
The President's fine. Did you get them?

Only one.

You can act as tough as you want,

but you are gonna tell us
where Mercy went.

And when you do, you're gonna wish
you had done it sooner.

Just take him.

God, I hate that guy.

Where did you get all that stuff?

The comic book store on Excelsior.

Oh, that's right down the street
from Winn's old apartment.

And that cardigan,
Winn has the same one.

Does he?

All right, yes.

You see, I analyzed our
recent torrent of conflicts,

and I couldn't find a common factor.

I did things your way, wrong.

I did things the Legion way, wrong.

I did things my way, so very wrong.

I just couldn't win.
And then I realized, that's it.

I can't win because I'm not Winn.

He was your bro. I'm not him.

Unless...

Unless I am...

I'm not very good with change.

And I do miss Winn. A lot.

And I guess in some ways, I have been
punishing you for not being him.

And that is... That's not fair.

I understand. I miss my friends, too.

I'm sorry,
I didn't even think about that.

You left them behind.

- Technically, they're ahead.
- Right.

Yes, look, either way,
we are stuck with each other.

So... No, I mean, it's not a bad thing.

It's actually a good thing.
You know, we just have to...

Find our rhythm.

That, I can do.
I've been told I have excellent rhythm.

- No.
- Just let me...

- No.
- All right.

- Just no more sweaters, okay?
- Thank God.

These things are restrictively tight.

It was parking lots.

Bruno purchased them
through a subsidiary

he bought from your brother.

My mother goes on to name five more
shell companies owned by Mannheim.

You are the District Attorney.

Subpoena their books.

You'll find enough RICO violations

to send Mannheim away
for as long as Al Capone.

So, does your mother know
you played her?

She will, soon.

No! And your other investigation?

Guardian who?

Nia. What happened
in the meeting with James?

Uh, McKenzie pitched her take
on the article.

- And, she had a good approach.
- Yours was better.

But you were so passionate
when you talked to just me about it.

Why did you shut down?

It was a scary room.

James Olsen is the CEO of this
incredible media empire.

And McKenzie has
more famous friends than Oprah.

Nia, what really happened
when McKenzie took that article?

Why didn't you wanna compete?

I guess, in the moment,

- I was afraid to make waves.
- Okay.

Fear... I get that.

No matter how much we believe in
ourselves, that never goes away.

Not fully.

Even now,
I think I'm not afraid of anything.

And then,
something new and ugly rears its head

and chases me right back down
in the rabbit hole.

But once we catch ourselves,
we have to jump right back out there.

So you're afraid to make waves?
Okay. Make them, anyway.

Make a tsunami.

- You're right.
- Of course, I am.

Acknowledge the fear,
then kick its ass.

- Thank you, Kara.
- Don't thank me,

just get out there and kick up a storm.

Come on, seriously, times a wasting.
Tick tock.

You realize you're
turning into Cat, right?

- What? No.
- To a tee.

It's kinda freaking me out.
You just said, "Tick tock."

You might as well have said "chop-chop."

- Did I say that?
- Yeah, you did.

Breaking news,
all charges against

James Olsen will be dropped.

- Oh, my God! James...
- More as it develops.

See? Told you it was nothing
to worry about.

- I am so happy, James.
- Me, too.

And thank you for standing by my side,
and letting me handle this by myself.

I never doubted you could handle it.

I only offered because I've lost so
much of my family to prison,

it's turned my life and my
relationships upside-down.

I couldn't bear the thought of that
happening to you.

It won't.

Yes, we will not be
indicting James Olsen

for past allegations of obstruction.

However, if Mr. Olsen were to resume
his role as Guardian,

he will be subject to
immediate arrest.

On a separate investigation,
our office has uncovered new evidence

in the state's case
against Bruno Mannheim.

We will be reissuing the indictment,

which will include several counts
of money laundering.

So, about yesterday,

I know how much it means to you
to honor your father's wishes.

I shouldn't have asked you
to compromise that.

Look, I know the last few days
have been difficult for you.

I'm just sorry I made it
even more so.

Just the thought of so much
anger out there...

It's not
what I wanted to believe was true.

I thought this country...
That we were in a better place.

The idea of having to fight
something so vast.

Of trying to unite such a divided world.

It's overwhelming.

It's your optimism that
will help save us, Kara.

The beacon of hope who sets an example.
Fighting for justice everywhere.

The voice of unity and compassion
that will inspire change.

I feel like I don't know anything.

Then you are wiser than you realize.

We now take you
to a late breaking news story.

Shocking footage acquired from the
assassination attempt

at Camp David has revealed
that the President is an alien.

This confirms what many thought to be
the ravings of a fringe group.

Experts have authenticated the footage,
and found no signs of doctoring.

The President of the United States
is an alien.

A fuse was lit.

- Al, is Fiona here?
- No, she didn't show up for her shift.

...all current information points to

the cold, hard truth,

that our current sitting president
is an alien.

You do good work.

What can I say?

I love my country.

We didn't ask for you to come here.

You brought this on yourself.

Who are you?

An agent of liberty.