Suits (2011–…): Season 8, Episode 5 - Good Mudding - full transcript

(HARVEY READING)

There's a whole life going on here
that you're not even a part of.

You think I don't know
what I've missed?

I'm not just talking
about birthdays, Harvey.

- I got sick again.
- What? Why didn't you tell me?

- Did you know?
- Know what?

That Gavin Andrews was gonna
ask me to launder money for him?

Help me get out of this.
Please, Samantha.

I should have listened to you,
but I have a family.

I want to make
a perfect baby with you.

- Are you sure?
- Absolutely.



And I don't want to just
pull the goalie.

I want to start trying,
and I want to start trying right now.

I know you think
we're in competition

for the same thing,
but we're not.

Robert Zane made
me a promise,

the next name that goes
up on the wall is mine.

Why are you
telling me this?

Because we're never
gonna trust each other

if you think I'm trying
to get ahead of you.

I'm not,
because I already am.

Sheila. It's after 9:00.
You're gonna be late.

Then I'll be late, because
there's something I need to ask you.

Yeah, of course.
You can ask me anything.

Louis, have you ever gotten
a woman pregnant before?



Okay. Uh... (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
Where is this going?

I'm asking because you haven't gotten
this woman pregnant yet, either.

Sheila, we just
started trying,

and I think what I've been doing,
is more than meeting the standards.

Louis, you are
an A/A-plus lover.

- Everyone knows that.
- There's a slash?

That's not the point.
The point is,

have you ever considered the possibility
that you're shooting blanks?

No more than I would consider
the possibility that I don't have a face.

I get that, Louis,

and you probably have
the sperm of a thoroughbred,

but I'd like you
to get yourself checked.

Sheila, if you're asking
what I think you are,

I don't want to go to a place
where people do that,

unless it's absolutely
necessary.

I get that, too,
but the fact is,

I'm not getting any younger
and we don't have time to waste.

So, I'm getting myself checked,
and I'm asking you to do the same.

So, here's the address.
You have an appointment today.

- Okay, Sheila, I'll get it done.
- Thank you.

LOUIS: Harvey, do you
have a second?

- Sure, Louis, what is it?
- Did you ever have to test your sperm?

- What?
- Sheila wants me to,

but I don't think I can do it
in one of those places.

Louis, I don't want
to have this conversation.

It's bad enough that we share
the same dentist.

Harvey, come on.
We're trying to have a baby,

and I don't have anyone else
to talk to about this.

Okay, what's your problem?

Problem is, I've never had to do
it under duress before.

I don't know how.

Well, why don't you do it
like everyone else does?

- Use pictures.
- I don't use pictures.

I only think of Sheila,
and I can't do that

with a bunch
of strangers there.

- What did you do before Sheila?
- I don't wanna talk about it.

- I don't want to talk about any of this.
- Harvey, come on.

(SIGHS)
All right, look,

you can't use pictures,
you don't want to think about Sheila.

Then you'll have to think of something
that turns you on, that isn't Sheila.

You mean, think about
an inanimate object.

Yes, Louis,
that's what I mean.

- Have you done that before?
- Of course, I have.

- What do you use?
- No, I'm not telling you that.

- Harvey, please.
- All right. You want the truth?

Sometimes,

I think about tomatoes.

- Really?
- If you think about it,

they're the most
sensual fruit.

I thought
they were a vegetable?

I am opening my soul to you
here, don't criticize me.

I'm sorry, you're right.
Thank you, Harvey.

Good luck
in there, buddy.

Yeah.
Tomatoes, holy shit.

Never thought of that.

You wanna tell me
what that was all about?

No, because I'm guessing you
listened to the entire conversation,

which means you know
what it's about.

In that case, what I really want to know is,
is it true about the tomatoes?

I think we both
know it's not.

Just like we both know it's really
strawberries and whipped cream.

- What, too soon?
- No.

But this is an office,
and someone could overhear

and misunderstand that
that was 13 years ago.

Really? 'Cause it feels like
12 and a half to me.

- You're an idiot.
- No, Louis is an idiot,

because he believed
I think about tomatoes.

And if Sheila wants him
to get his swimmers checked,

we shouldn't mock that he has to do that,
in a cup, thinking about tomatoes.

You're absolutely right.
We should take it very seriously.

- Tomatoes.
- Okay, you know what?

As much as I would
love to do this all day,

I came in here to tell you,
you need to call Marcus.

Marcus? About what?

I don't know, but he left me a message
that he wants you to call him.

If he wants me to call, why would
he be leaving a message for you?

Because when Marcus really
needs you, he calls me.

He's only ever
done that twice,

which means whatever
it is he needs, it's important.

All right, Donna,
I'll call him.

Today, Harvey.

Today.

(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)

Hey, Harvey. I'm glad you called.
I take it Donna gave you my message?

She did.
What's going on?

- I'm getting a divorce.
- What?

I know.

And I know
it is a big ask,

but I was hoping
that you could represent me.

Marcus, hold on.
When did this happen?

The last time I was up there,
everything seemed fine.

Yeah, well, it's not fine.

And as much as I hate it,
this is what she wants.

If you want me to help you,
I'm gonna need to know more than that.

What do you want me to tell you, Harvey?
That we grew apart?

- Well, we did.
- Bullshit, I know you.

- It's not the full story.
- You're right, it's not,

and I will tell you everything
when you get up here.

I didn't say
I was coming up there,

and I'm not going to, unless you tell me
what's going on, right now.

I slept with someone,
all right?

- You did what?
- I was stupid,

and I had an affair,
and I know you want

to rip my head off
right now...

You're damn right,
I do!

'Cause you know better than anyone,
what thatdoes to a family.

Right now, I don't care.

What the hell did
you just say to me?

Harvey, you're always telling your clients
that "Your issues are your issues,"

and that you don't judge
people for what they do.

So, right now, I don't need
to hear how I screwed up.

What I need to hear is that
you're on your way up here

to help make sure
that I don't lose my kids.

What are you
talking about?

I'm talking about
custody, Harvey,

because Katie hired a shark
to represent her.

Which means even
if you didn't want this

- to turn into a fight...
- I can't risk not treating it like one,

and the best way I know to avoid
a fight is to show up with a howitzer.

And, Harvey, the biggest
howitzer I know is you.

All right, Marcus,
I'll come up.

(SINGING) See the money,
wanna stay for your meal

Get another piece of pie
for your wife

Everybody wanna know
how it feel

Everybody wanna see
what it's like

I'll even eat a bean pie
I don't mind

Me and missy is so early

Busy, busy making money

All right!

All step back
I'm 'bout to dance

The greenback boogie

All right, you have your tea.
Now, let's get you set up in the library.

You mean the room with the books
I can literally see from here?

Joy, I don't need
to have any attitude.

I can set myself up,
Dad, thanks.

These associates get younger
and angrier, don't they?

That's not an associate,
that's my daughter.

And you think
I didn't know that?

I can spot a ninth-grade
pushback from a mile away.

ALEX: Let me ask you something.
How'd you manage your kids?

What do you mean,
manage 'em?

I mean, Joy got in trouble at school,
that's why she's here.

And she may be
a pain in the ass,

but she finishes her homework
in 18 seconds,

- and all I have today is paperwork.
- I got it.

Your daughter won't listen, and you don't
want to talk to her, anyway.

No, I just don't know what to say
to her to get her to hear me.

That's because sometimes, there is no way
to get them to hear you.

But they might hear someone
else. Someone cool.

- Someone like you?
- No, no, no.

- Not me.
- Come on, Gretchen,

- what's it gonna take?
- I'm not saying I won't do it.

- I'm saying it won't work.
- Why not?

Because it can't be someone
you think is cool.

It has to be someone
she thinks is cool.

Well, look at that.
Maybe you're not doomed after all.

Now, move out of the way.
I gotta get me some of that almond milk.

(FUNK MUSIC PLAYING)

Hello. My name is Louis Litt,
and I'm here to...

(CHUCKLES)

- You know, make a deposit.
- Ah. Of course.

11:00, right on the dot.

Punctuality helps me
get in the right head space.

Then why don't you take a look
at our preparatory materials,

and before you ask, I promise,
whatever you need,

- we've got you covered.
- That's great.

Then I'll just take
a quick look

- at The Wall Street Journal.
- The what?

The Wall Street Journal.
America's paper of record.

What do you need
The Wall Street Journal for?

What do you mean, what do I need it for?
I need it to conduct my business.

But we don't conduct
business here.

No, not that
kind of business.

- This kind of business.
- Are you telling me...

Yes. I need
a Wall Street Journal

a Forbes, Investor's Weekly,
anything of a fiscal and fiduciary nature.

We don't
have those things.

Who are you?
You just said anything I need,

you got me covered.
What is your problem?

Well, it's not the clinic's, but I have
the real estate section of the newspaper.

Give me that shit. Standard, standard,
standard, blah, blah, blah...

Holy shit, they want how much
for a two bedroom?

Chubby Checker.
That'll work.

- Really?
- Yes, really.

I need a room. I need one now.
I'll even share it with somebody.

- Come on, get the cup.
- All right...

- Get the cup!
- This way.

Samantha, you got a second?

What I have is
less than four hours

to find proof Insight Drugs has ripped
off our client's heart medication.

That's too bad because I need
help with something,

and you're
the perfect person.

- You're asking for my help?
- Yes, I am.

- What's the case?
- Williams vs. Williams,

- and I'm losing big time.
- What, now?

My daughter. She's here for two days
because she got suspended,

and worse, when I asked her what
happened, she lied to me about it.

So, you're coming to me
because you don't think

she'll listen to you
or your wife right now.

She's a smart kid, but right now,
all she cares about is being cool.

So, I need someone like you to show
her that being smart is cool.

So, you're
saying I'm cool.

To a 15-year-old, who won't listen
to a word her father says, yes.

Maybe that's
because she doesn't need

to listen right now,
she needs to be heard.

Because I can tell you from experience,
being a teenage girl is pretty damn hard.

- Does that mean you'll do it?
- I guess it does.

Just don't make
me regret this.

Alex, if you don't
know by now,

making people regret things
is kind of what I do.

Then you and Joy are gonna get
along just fine. Thanks, Samantha.

- What is this?
- Sanitizer.

I heard you had a particularly
dirty case on your hands.

Harvey told you.

You mean that this was
the hardest case you've ever had?

That the client was really
jerking you around?

- That...
- Are you finished?

- Are you finished?
- Donna!

I'm just asking as a friend.

Did you slay the dragon?
Did you bop the potato?

Did you wallop
the badinger?

- "Wallop the badinger"?
- Yeah, I was on a roll.

Whatever. No.

Louis, what's wrong?

I was just joking around.

Did it not go okay?

- It's not that, Donna.
- Then what is it?

- What if I can't have kids?
- Louis...

It is all I've ever wanted,

but it has never once occurred
to me that I might not be able to do it.

Has it occurred to you
that the reason

you were never worried
is that there's no reason

- to be worried?
- Except Sheila is worried,

and now, it's in my head.

- Donna, what if it is me?
- Louis, right now,

we don't even know
if there's a problem at all.

So, I suggest you cross that
bridge when you come to it.

And if you do, and you need someone
to talk about it with, I'll be here.

Thank you, Donna.

Hey. Did you get
a hold of Marcus?

- I did.
- Then what's going on?

- He's not sick again, is he?
- No, nothing like that,

- but it's still not good.
- Then what is it?

He cheated on Katie. She found out,
and now, she wants a divorce.

- Oh, my God. Are you kidding me?
- No.

And that's not all,
he wants me to come up there

- and represent him.
- So, what are you gonna do?

What do you think I'm gonna
do? I'm gonna help him.

Okay, look, I have to ask, are you
sure that you want to do this?

I appreciate your concern,
Donna, but it's my brother.

What am I supposed to do?

All I'm saying is that this
could bring up a lot of shit for you.

And I don't disagree,
but like I said, it's my brother.

- What am I supposed to do?
- Okay.

But before you go,
after what just happened,

- I think you should tell Robert.
- I already did.

- How did he take it?
- I have to give him credit,

he didn't hesitate for a second.
He said, "Family comes first.

"Always does, always will."

- You must be Joy.
- That's the name they gave me.

I'm Samantha.

Your dad's gonna be
stuck in meetings all day,

so, he asked me
to check in on you.

Samantha, is it? He didn't ask
you to check in on me.

He asked you to keep an eye
on me because you're the cool one.

Well, you might be cool
to him, but you're not cool to me.

Okay. I see what this is.

I'll tell you mine,
if you tell me yours.

- Your what?
- My "why I got suspended."

- You got suspended?
- Just once.

But from three
different schools.

That's the football field.
I used industrial bleach.

That shit's not
coming out for months.

Wow. That is some
colorful language.

- So, what'd you do?
- The worst one?

I boosted a car
from the school parking lot.

- You stole somebody's car.
- Not somebody's, the principal's.

Turns out that is not
a good idea.

Got it. Don't steal
the principal's car.

I'm not saying breaking
the rules is a bad thing.

I'm saying you just need
to know which ones to break.

I don't think
you're supposed to tell me that.

Maybe not,
but if you're gonna help me

the next couple of days,
you should know how I work.

- Help you?
- Yeah.

I've got a deposition this afternoon,
and nothing to force the other guy's hand.

You in?

- I'm in.
- Well, then, Joy,

you and I are gonna
need some coffee.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

Harvey, what are you
doing here?

I'm here because Marcus asked me
to represent him.

Then you shouldn't be contacting
me without my lawyer.

No, I shouldn't.

But I'm not here as a lawyer.
I'm here as your brother-in-law.

- What does that mean?
- It means I know Marcus still loves you,

and I need to know
if there isn't still a way

that you guys
can work this out.

And as much as I wish that
could happen, it's too late for that.

Look, Marcus told me
what happened...

And you're still
standing here,

- trying to defend him.
- No, I'm not.

When he told me, believe me,
I wanted to lay him out myself,

but I also know
what it feels like

to have your family ripped apart,
and I don't want to see that happen.

And you think I do?

No, I don't,
but I'm telling you,

the second lawyers get involved,
it's gonna get messy.

It's already
messy, Harvey.

And my lawyer's already involved,
so, be Marcus's lawyer, or don't,

but either way,
I can't talk to you anymore.

- No, no, you sit here.
- Why?

Those two over there are
opposing council and his client.

What does that have to do
with where I sit?

It has to do
with where I sit.

- I don't understand.
- Let me explain.

I have nothing on this asshole,
but I know he's lying.

So, I'm going to bluff him in an hour,
and this is where that bluff starts.

So, you're just gonna
stare at him?

No, I'm also
going to laugh

and drink my coffee and show him how
incredibly confident I am.

I get it. You're trying
to get in their heads.

- Not trying, doing.
- Awesome.

- I'll get us some drinks.
- You're buying?

- My dad's buying.
- In that case,

I will take a dozen bagels,
seven donuts,

and one of those fancy
espresso machines over there.

Don't tell me,
the results are in.

- They are.
- And?

They want me to meet
with the doctor in person.

- And?
- And I want you to come with me.

Louis, I don't mean
to sound insensitive,

but I really think that you
should do this on your own.

Donna, they said "in person."
That can't be good.

But don't they do
that for everyone?

Maybe they do,
but I just don't want to be alone.

And I understand that, but I'm not
the woman you should be asking.

- Sheila.
- She's your partner in this.

I know that,
but what if...

- What if what?
- Donna, if I'm the reason

we can't have kids,
I wanna be the one to tell her.

Not some guy
in a lab coat.

And if you really want me
to go with you, I will,

but if I were Sheila,
I wouldn't want

to be the second woman in
your life to find that out.

You're right, Donna.

Don't tell me they
ran out of coffee.

No, I got something
better than coffee.

I didn't know what to do,
so, I just hit "record."

- Does it help?
- It sure as shit doesn't hurt.

Does that mean we don't have
to sit here and smile at them?

No, it just means it's gonna be
a hell of a lot more fun.

(CHUCKLES)

Harvey. You were supposed
to be here an hour ago.

There was something
I had to do first.

Yeah, I know
what you had to do,

- and I wish you hadn't done it.
- Listen to me...

Harvey, you said
you were gonna come up here

and help me, not stir
things up with Katie.

Marcus, you said you wanted peace, so,
I tried to make peace.

Yeah, well, what you did
was make it worse.

- Shit.
- What does that mean,

"You've been sanctioned"?

Look, it's a fine for contacting her
without her lawyer.

- It's nothing.
- No, I know you, and there's something else.

If I file some kind of motion
and it's a coin toss,

the judge probably rules
in their favor.

- Are you fucking kidding me?
- Marcus, I am sorry.

You asked me to come up here,
and like it or not,

this is tough for me, too,
so, I tried with Katie.

Okay, Harvey, I get it.

I just wish there was a chance in hell
that it would've worked.

- So, what are we gonna do now?
- I'll tell you what we're gonna do.

You want a peaceful settlement,
we're gonna get you a peaceful settlement.

- Mr. Litt.
- Yes.

- Please, have a seat.
- Oh, my God,

it's worse than I thought.
I have no sperm at all.

(CHUCKLES) Of course not.
In fact, I'm happy to inform you,

that your sperm count
is perfectly fine.

I see no reason
why you can't make

- any healthy woman pregnant.
- Great, fantastic.

- There is one thing, however.
- One thing.

I noticed on the Lifestyle section
of our form,

- you put down "mudding."
- Yeah.

Yes, it relaxes
and soothes me.

Come to think of it, doc,
I think that's the reason

- why my count is so robust.
- You'll have to give it up.

- What now?
- Your count is fine,

but due to your partner's age,
if you give up mudding,

your chances of conceiving
go up significantly.

- Define significantly.
- 80%.

Holy shit, 80%?

- There's gotta be another way!
- There isn't.

What if I put everything in
but my balls?

- I don't...
- Scratch that, defeats the purpose.

- Mr. Litt...
- What if I cut down on my sessions?

I cut it down in half,
it improves our chances 40%.

I'm afraid it doesn't
work that way.

Then what are you
telling me?

I'm telling you that if you want to have
the best chance at having a child,

you'll give up mudding
for the foreseeable future.

Excuse me. Who is she,
and what's she doing here?

- It's "go to work with your parent" day.
- She's your daughter?

Something like that.

But, of course, if you're too
afraid to have her here,

- she doesn't have to be here.
- Fine with me if she stays,

since this is gonna be
the world's shortest deposition.

Because you're ready to admit
you infringed on my client's patent

to create your generic
knock-off?

Because my company developed
that drug from scratch,

and your client
has no proof we didn't.

Actually, we do have proof,
we're just not gonna use it.

(SCOFFS) You're not going to use it
because it doesn't exist.

I'm not gonna use it because I'd like you
to lie to my face in this deposition.

And why is that?

So, when I reveal what we know
in open court, you not only lose this case,

you get charged
with perjury.

Can't you get sent
to jail for that?

Why, yes,
Joy, you can.

But you'd probably go bankrupt
first, trying to fight it.

BOTH: Hmm.

You're bluffing.
You don't have shit on him.

I guess there's only
one way to find out.

So, Mr. Coleman, did you
or did you not

rip off our patent to create
your bullshit new drug?

And before you answer,

I'd like you to think back
to that decaf latte

you were drinking
before coming up here.

And, more specifically, to the person
waiting in line by your table,

while you were trying so hard
not to look at me.

That's what
she's doing here.

- You set us up.
- You set yourself up

because you went
to a public place,

and discussed a case loud enough
for a 15-year-old girl,

who just happened to be recording
the coffee shop to pick you up on tape.

Now, for the last time, where'd
your new drug come from?

All right.

How much do you want?

Gentlemen, sorry
to keep you waiting.

My client and I were just
discussing a few last matters.

Not a problem.

Now, that you're ready, I suggest
we start with division of property.

Actually, we'd like to start
with the most important issue...

- Our kids.
- LAWYER: Exactly.

Because we're seeking
sole custody.

What? We didn't
talk about that.

And what was or wasn't
previously discussed

- is irrelevant.
- That's bull...

Marcus, let me
handle this.

Because they don't
really want sole custody,

they just want to
start on one end

because they're expecting us
to start on the other.

But we don't want a fight, so, why don't
we just all start in the middle?

I'll tell you why, because we're not
moving on this at all.

- Excuse me?
- Katie, don't do this.

You did this to yourself,
Marcus.

No, he didn't.
He may have screwed up,

but you don't have the grounds
to take the kids.

- Actually, we do.
- HARVEY: Bullshit.

And I'm not gonna let you play games
like you did with those sanctions.

- What sanctions?
- You know what sanctions.

The ones you had your lawyer slap me
with for coming to talk to you.

- I didn't authorize anything like that.
- You didn't need to.

After you told me
he approached you improperly...

You thought it was a good idea
to use that to bias the judge.

I thought it would be a good idea
to protect my client's interests.

Well, those kids aren't just
your client's interests.

They're my
brother's children...

Then maybe he should have cared enough
to put their needs ahead of his own.

HARVEY: Katie, he may not have been
a perfect husband,

but I am not gonna let you say
he's not a good father.

How would you know
what kind of a father he is?

I'll tell you how. Every time
I have seen them with him,

every time
he has told me about them...

What about what he told you
about why we're splitting up?

Just because he slept with someone else
doesn't mean he's not a good...

Slept with someone else?
Oh, my God.

He didn't tell you what
happened, did he?

- Katie...
- Marcus, what's she talking about?

Know what? You can have that
conversation on your own time,

'cause I'm not gonna let you
tell me this is all my fault

when you don't even
know the whole story.

But let me be clear, I'm taking the kids
because that is what is best for them.

And if you have a problem
with that, Harvey,

you can take it up with
the man sitting next to you,

'cause I'm done
defending myself.

Katie!

Okay, you tell me,
and you tell me, now.

What was that all about?

- I was gambling again.
- I don't believe this...

It was just
for a few weeks.

It was almost a year ago,
and I've been in a program

- ever since.
- Let me guess.

You didn't tell Katie,
just like you didn't tell me.

- I was going to tell you.
- When?

After the judge took your kids?
Because they're right, Marcus.

They do have
the grounds to do that,

- and you gave it to them.
- Harvey,

there's gotta be something
you can do here.

Not when I don't
have all the facts!

I point-blank asked you what happened,
and you said it was because of an affair.

Look, I know I should have told you,
but I'm telling you now.

Then you tell me right now
anything else I should know,

and I mean anything.

Haley caught me
making a bet,

and I told her that
I was just playing a game,

and that it could be
our little secret.

- Are you kidding me?
- Where you going?

- Back to New York.
- No, please, you can't...

These are my kids!

Your kids that you asked to lie for you,
which makes you no different than Mom was.

That is not fair.
What Mom did is nothing like this.

You asked your kids
to keep your secrets.

- How is that different?
- It was one time,

and Haley had no idea
what I was doing was wrong.

You know what?
Tell yourself whatever you want

about what kind
of man you are.

You're not just
a shitty husband,

you're a shitty brother,
and I'm done here.

Oh, ho, ho.
What's this for?

I know it was a stressful day,
and I thought you deserved something

with a little umbrella.

(CHUCKLES) You have no idea.

So, how did it go?

- It was great.
- Really?

What did he say?

He said I should have no issue getting
you pregnant, and nothing else.

- Nothing else?
- Absolutely not one thing else.

That's funny,
because I was told

- you have to give up mudding.
- What?

- How'd you know that?
- They called me

- right after they saw you.
- I don't believe this.

This is a total violation
of the doctor-patient...

Cut the bullshit, Louis.
You signed the form.

The question is,
can you do this?

- Of course, I can do it.
- Are you sure?

Because you couldn't
even admit it to me.

I didn't wanna talk about it
because it was a difficult thing,

but I can handle it.

You know nothing means more
to me than having a family.

I do know that, Louis, but I also know
how your brain works,

and you're gonna try to figure
out a way to convince yourself

- that you can have both.
- Okay.

I am a grown man,
and I am telling you,

if a doctor tells me
I have to give up mudding,

- then I will give it up.
- Promise me.

I promise.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

(SIGHS) Mom, if you're here
to talk about Marcus...

Of course, I'm here
to talk about Marcus.

Question is, are you going
to let me in, or not?

Then go ahead and say your piece,
but it's not gonna change my mind.

Well, I don't know if it will,
or it won't,

but I came to tell
you you're right.

What Marcus did was horrible,
and I understand you being furious,

but Haley's in fifth grade.

She barely knows
what gambling is.

She knows what lying is.

She knows that her father
asked her to do it.

And Marcus feels
terrible about that.

Yeah, that's what
all addicts say.

And your brother has never
been as strong as you are,

- but that doesn't mean...
- This isn't about strength.

No, it's about forgiveness.

And Marcus forgave me,
even when I failed you both,

and then he forgave you
when you walked away.

Are you saying I owe him?

I'm saying people
make mistakes.

Harvey, I know
how angry you are,

but you can't let him
lose his children.

Because I can tell you
from personal experience,

there is nothing worse
for the parent or the child.

What am I supposed
to say to that?

How about if I say
what we both know is true?

This is all my fault.

I modeled all of this behavior
for both of you, but please, Harvey,

don't make him pay
for my mistakes.

Okay, I'll see
what I can do.

But I'm gonna need
to ask you some questions.

So, make yourself comfortable,
because we're gonna be here for a while.

Thought you were
done with me.

I'm your brother. I'm never
gonna be done with you.

- You talked to Mom.
- I did.

She basically said
it was all her fault.

- Well, it wasn't.
- I know.

But if I can forgive her,
I should be able to forgive you, too.

I figured out a way
to get you shared custody.

But I am putting
in the agreement,

you ever gamble again,
she gets the kids.

You don't live up to that,
I don't care what the law says,

I'll represent her to make
sure that's what happens.

- Okay.
- Okay.

(SIGHS)

Uh...

This claims that
Katie's an unfit mother.

You were traveling for work,
and Haley broke her arm at the playground.

- Where was Katie?
- She was in a meeting.

Her phone was off.

So, you'd think she'd be more
mindful in the future,

but when her son wandered off
from camp two years later,

she didn't even bother
calling them back

- for three hours.
- She didn't get the message!

When you got the message, you drove up
there like a rocket to go find him.

- Harvey, you're twisting the facts here.
- No.

- I am getting your children.
- Not this way, you're not.

I know this doesn't feel good,
but you said it, we need a howitzer.

- This is it.
- I don't care.

- Marcus...
- Katie is a good mother.

She loves those kids.

I'm not gonna let you
say these things about her.

Damn it, Marcus,
there's no other way.

You're the best goddamn closer
in New York.

Isn't that what
you always say?

Well, the best goddamn closer
would find another way.

Hey, Dad.
Got you some churros.

Thanks, but I gotta say,

I thought you'd be here an hour ago,
begging to go home.

Well, Samantha and I went
to Otto's Tacos to celebrate.

- Celebrate what?
- Her destroying this dude

in a deposition all
because of what I gave her.

- She said I did great.
- What do you mean, "what you gave her"?

I overheard this guy telling his lawyer
that they stole our drug formula,

- and then I just...
- Wait a second, you overheard this?

I didn't just overhear it,
I recorded it.

And then Samantha
used it in a deposition.

Well, she didn't
really use it,

she just
threatened to use it,

which I thought
was pretty badass...

I want you to stay
the hell away from that woman.

What?

- You heard me.
- Wait, aren't you the one

who wanted us to work together
in the first place?

Not to work together,
keep an eye on you,

- and definitely not use you.
- She didn't use me.

- I volunteered.
- You don't know what she did

because you're 15 years old.

I may only be 15,

but I actually came in here
to admit that I was wrong

for not wanting to come
into work with you,

and that now, I can't
wait until tomorrow.

Tomorrow's not gonna
be like today,

because you're gonna stay away
from that woman.

- You can't make me do that!
- You'd better believe I can.

You really are a piece of work,
aren't you?

I'm sorry, shouldn't you
be coming in here

to thank me for taking care
of your daughter?

If you think what you did
is what "taking care of" means,

I hope you never get
a goddamn houseplant,

- let alone a child.
- Excuse me?

Joy told me about the stunt you pulled,
and how you told her she did a great job.

Did you also tell her it's illegal to record
someone else's conversation?

It is not illegal to record
sound in a public space.

That's not what happened,
and you know it.

It doesn't matter, because I didn't use
the recording because I didn't need to.

Oh, I know that,
because if you had,

we'd have a whole other
set of problems right now.

And what would
those be?

Because what I did was completely
within the bounds of the law.

You don't get it,
do you?

I trusted you with my daughter who's been
getting in trouble and lying,

and then she does
something like this.

And instead of you telling her
it was wrong, you gave her

- a goddamn cookie.
- What I did was treat her

like an adult and show her
how the world works.

She's not an adult, and she can learn
how the world works when you and I did,

and that's not 15.

Some of us learned
a hell of a lot younger than that.

You must have had
a shitty upbringing,

because a parent's job isn't to teach
their kids how the world is.

A parent's job is to teach them
how the world should be.

Her parent asked me to get through
to her in the first place

because he couldn't
do it himself.

Well, that's on me
to grapple with.

In the meantime, stay the hell
away from my daughter.

Good morning, Gretchen.
How are you this...

I'm busy, Louis,
just like you'd better get.

- Which is what I'm doing here.
- Wait, slow it down.

- What are you talking about?
- The Nielson depo

- got moved up to tomorrow.
- Tomorrow?

Yes, and Joan Walsh wants her
quarterly update yesterday.

There are 16 other things
waiting for you in your office.

You got lunch with Sheila
at 1:00, and I don't know

- what the hell...
- Stop right there.

You need to reschedule
half of those things.

That brings me
to the last thing.

- I gotta go to the dentist.
- What?

Gretchen, no,
you can't leave me like this.

Did you hear me?

I got a hole in my tooth
the size of Colorado.

And before you ask me to call Lipschitz
because you can't handle the pressure,

he's out of town
till next week.

Good luck.

Good mudding, Louis.

- Good mudding, Louis.
- Hey, Louis, good mudding.

- And good mudding to you, too.
- Top of the mudding to you.

- Good mudding.
- Good mudding.

- WOMAN: Good mudding.
- MAN: Hey, Louis, good mudding.

(ECHOING) Mudding,
mudding, mudding...

So, what's on the agenda
for today?

Nothing.

After last night's lecture,
I didn't think I'd be seeing you today.

Yeah, my dad told me
to stay away from you,

but he doesn't
know anything.

- That's not true.
- Yes, it is.

- He's an asshole.
- Don't say that.

Why not?
It's the truth.

I learned more from you
than any adult ever,

so, if he wants me to stay away
from you, he's wrong.

No, Joy, he's not.

I'm the one
who was wrong.

That car I boosted when I was 14?
I didn't tell you the other half of it.

I didn't just get suspended,
I got expelled.

- Holy shit.
- Yeah.

And after that, I had a choice,
either get my shit together,

or get nowhere in life.

So, by the time I was a senior,
I got a scholarship,

and that's how I was able
to go to college in the first place.

Well, I don't need a scholarship.
My dad's rich.

And if you think
that's your father's value,

you don't know anything.

Whether you see it or not,
he is looking out for you.

He doesn't look out
for me, okay?

He just tells
me what to do.

Telling you what to do
is looking out for you.

As someone who didn't have
anyone telling me what to do

when I could have
really used it,

(SIGHS) you have no idea
how lucky you are.

So, whether you want
to listen to him or not, I do,

and we're not working
together anymore.

I didn't think
you'd take his side.

What can I say, turns out
your father's pretty smart.

You should listen
to him sometime.

Maybe I will. He was right
about one thing this week.

- Yeah? What's that?
- You are the cool one.

Joy, what I'm trying
to tell you,

is I think, maybe,
your dad is the cool one.

Mind if I sit?

Harvey, I told you, I'm not
talking to you without my lawyer.

And I tried to tell you that
lawyers only make things ugly.

Here's proof.

What is this?

It's a list of all the times
you put those kids at risk.

- This is bullshit.
- Maybe,

but it's the kind of bullshit
that works in court.

- You wouldn't do this to me.
- You'd better believe I would,

because I care
about those kids,

and I know they both need you
and Marcus in their lives.

Well, then maybe Marcus
should have thought about that

- before he did what he did.
- Yeah, he should have.

But he's thinking
about it now,

which is why, as much
as I'd like to use this,

- he won't let me.
- What?

I told him
this was the only way.

He told me
to find another one

because he doesn't want to hurt you
any more than he already has.

Katie, he loves you,

and whether or not you're willing
to give the marriage another chance,

he deserves another
chance as a father.

I never thought I'd hear something
like that from Harvey Specter.

Well, if there's one thing
I've come around on,

when it comes to family, forgiveness is
a hell of a lot better than anger.

I'll think about it.

That's the most
I can ask.

- Hey.
- Louis, it's past 3:00.

We were supposed
to go to lunch two hours ago.

I know. Work was a shit-show,

so, I got you these
to say I'm sorry.

They're beautiful.

- And I have a gift for you, too.
- Oh, yeah?

- What kind of gift?
- The best kind.

You don't have to give up mudding
because I've decided to get my tubes tied.

What? Why would you...

Because clearly mudding is more important
to you than having a baby,

so, I thought, why not make it
easier for both of us?

Sheila, that's not...

You're gonna tell me that's not
mud under your fingernails?

All right, it is, but it was
just one last time.

And how can I trust
that that's true?

Because I just told you,
work was fucking crazy.

Gretchen was coming at me
with 1,000 things.

- You don't understand.
- I do understand,

because I'm the one
who asked her to come at you.

LOUIS: So, let me just
get this straight,

you didn't trust me,
so, you did this to me.

No, I didn't do anything to you.
You made me a promise.

All you had to do
was let go of one thing,

- and you couldn't do it.
- It was a big thing,

and I don't even know
if it's the only thing.

Now, let me
get this straight.

You can't put the needs of
our child above your own.

- I'm not saying that.
- Okay, then what are you saying?

Because I may not be
a mother yet, but I know

- that's what parenthood means.
- So do I!

Then what happens the first time he's sick
when we have tickets to the ballet?

Or there's a deposition
at the same time

as a parent-teacher
conference?

- Those are different.
- How?

Because I would be giving those things
up for him, not for...

For me.

No, you're not giving
any of it up for me.

You're giving these things up
to have a child.

Do you want to know what
I'm giving up?

Coffee, and drinking,

and cheese,
and my hair color,

not to mention the pain of pushing
another human being out of my body.

So, if you're not ready to make
this one little sacrifice,

then you're not ready
to have a child.

Sheila, I'm sorry.

I wasn't thinking,
and I won't...

I will just get rid
of my membership today.

No, you don't have to give up
your membership, Louis.

You just have to stop
till we get pregnant.

Don't you see?

If I keep it,
I'll be tempted.

Sheila, having a family is far more
important to me than going mudding.

Okay, good.

(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)

Let me guess.
You fixed everything,

and you're calling me to tell Robert
that you'll be back in the morning.

HARVEY:Okay, mind reader.

- What do I have to say to that?
- I don't know, Harvey,

but I'm glad you went.

To tell you the truth, it was one
of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

I swear it took
a piece of me, Donna.

Well, you could look
at it that way,

or you could look at it like you chose
to give a piece of yourself.

That's pretty good.
You should be a philosopher.

- And who's to say I'm not?
- (MICROWAVE BEEPING)

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I need to give a piece

- of something to someone else.
- Thank you, Donna.

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

Donna, no offense,

but a cup of coffee is the last thing
I need right now.

Among other things,
I'm trying to give up caffeine.

I know that, Louis,

and that's not coffee.

Oh, my God,
don't tell me it's...

Iron-rich Peruvian
ground silt,

heated to the recommended temperature
of 102.68 degrees Fahrenheit.

Sheila told you I sold my
membership, didn't she?

She did, and I have to say, I think that's
the most romantic thing I've ever heard.

Thanks, Donna.

And thanks for this.

One more thing.

Something tells me
that you're gonna need this

for coffee sooner
than you think.

Good night, Louis.

You have a minute?

Depends on what it's for.

I shouldn't have said what I
said about your upbringing.

- And?
- Whatever you said to Joy,

- I appreciate it.
- I'm glad.

Is it true, what you
told her about family?

I don't want to talk to you
about my childhood, Alex.

What is true
is you're a good father.

I overstepped my bounds.
I'm sorry.

Ah, shit.

- What?
- I told you I'm trying

to teach Joy to do the right thing,
but I haven't done right by you.

You told me Zane promised your name
would be next on that wall,

but I didn't tell you that Harvey
promised me the exact same thing.

Well, now that you have,
you wanna give it up?

No.

- You?
- No.

- You wanna share it together?
- No.

Me, either.

I guess there's only
one thing left to say.

I guess there is.

- When the time comes...
- May the best woman win.