Succession (2018–…): Season 4, Episode 1 - The Munsters - full transcript

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- Hey!
- Hi, how are you? Good to see you.

Here he is.

Looks good in there, huh?

Happy birthday, Pa!

Let's move on and put this
in the "no" pile.

Can you tell me your idea
with this one?

Just so I know what the thinking was
behind this.

Romey! Where are you. dude?

It's my brother. He's coming.
Let's put a pin in this one and move on.

Let a thousand sunflowers bloom, Romey.



I wanna start a business with you. brother.

- 'Sup, T?
- This is nothing. No.

- Frank, touch ups?
- Hey, guys! How are we looking?

- No.
- That's a hard no.

In terms of what we need
for our new venture, The Hundred.

- They're...
- They're shitty.

They're shitty.
We can just be honest here, right?

The Hundred is Substack
meets Masterclass

meets The Economist
meets The New Yorker.

I feel like we said "iconic",
and you guys are leaning "ironic".

Hey, T? I think the money is here.

Rome, I think your security
are being very weird with them.

They seem stupid
and probably racist.

Well, you look tired, and your face
is giving me a headache.



- Thank you.
- So, where have you been, sis?

What do you mean? Hey!

Where have you been?

It was traffic. And a call.
Business. For this.

Guys, this is good feedback.

We're gonna circle back on exactly
all that stuff and we'll talk soon.

See you later.

So, traffic?

Yeah, traffic. What?

Shivy, are you snaking?

We hear that you've been talking
to the Jimenez transition team.

- Well, no.
- No?

No.

So it's lies that our friend told us?
They're lying to us?

I've talked to them, but it's because
I'm helping them out,

as you already know.

So you are talking?

No. I returned a call. They wanna
talk about talking.

They wanna talk about talking?

What? Come on. They haven't won
the election, and they might not,

and Dad might not sell,

and you two might bail, and it's
a maybe, maybe, maybe situation.

Dad is obviously selling.
We're looking at fucking logos here.

I drafted a resignation statement
from Waystar.

Same.

This is just a big step, and so,
can't we keep some options?

Keep options open? We're two days out
from Dad selling.

Here's what you have to understand.
I've smoked horse.

He's scared of needles.
He's not a real junkie.

I need something super fucking
absorbing in my life.

And it isn't gonna be this,
please just let me know, right?

I feel like I've been flying
around the country,

having serious fucking conversations
with serious people,

expending serious personal capital

and getting big fucking names
on board.

- Same. Me, too.
- So we've all been doing that.

Are you worried dial this is
maybe too small scale?

What? No. No, do you?

Me? No. My only worry,
is it literally too good?

Like, why hasn't anyone done this
before?

I am in.

I'm in. I am.

Okay.

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday, dear Logan!

Happy birthday to you!

Jesus fucking Christ!

You okay, Loge?

Munsters. Meet the fucking Munsters.

Who the fuck is this now?

- So, I guess we should...
- Hi! Welcome!

- Welcome, Greg and...
- This is Bridget.

Bridget, this is Kerry. Logan's...

Friend, assistant, and advisor.

- Hey, I'm Bridget.
- Hi, Bridget. So great to meet you.

Greg, let me and you grab Bridget
a drink.

Okay. So, excuse us, Bridget.

I'm sorry. We'll be right back.
Make yourself at home.

- Who is this, Greg?
- That's my date.

Right, but who is she?

I brought a date. That's okay, right?

What's her name?
What's her full name?

Is it Random-fuck?
Bridget Random-fuck?

Is she from the apps, Greg?

I really like her.
I might have fallen for her.

That's great. How many previous
dates have you had?

Kerry, I'm not sure this is appropriate.

We're not a fucking Shake Shack, Greg.

This isn't a pre-fuck party.
It's a birthday party.

I am a cousin. I get a plus one.

I'm like an honorary kid.

You're an honorary kid?

- Yeah. Marcia once said...
- Marcia's not here.

She's in Milan, shopping. Forever.

You do know that we're in the middle
of a hotly-contested election,

your uncle is on the brink
of a very large sale

and scoping out
a very sensitive acquisition?

Are you certain she's not gonna leak
details before the board meeting?

Do you know she's not
a hostile corporate asset?

So, we're looking for investment partners

for a revolutionary, new
media brand

that's gonna redefine news
for the 21st century.

It's an indispensable, bespoke
information hub.

Then I go: "The Hundred, greatest
experts, best writers,"

"top minds in every field,
from Israel-Palestine to AI"

"to Michelin restaurants."

Sorry. I'm gonna take this.

All right, take it.

- Hello?
- Hey. How are you?

Good. How are you? What is it?

I was just calling
to give you a heads up

and just to say hi,

and just to let you know that I just had
a little drink

with Naomi Pierce last night.

Just in case of anything,
I just wanted to inform you.

I'm sorry, you're informing me?

I just wanted to perform the ask
out of due deference,

just in case of photos
or getting talked about.

I'm sorry, you're asking me
or you're informing me?

Shiv, it's not a thing.

Then why are you letting me know?

Because it's not business.
But it is...

It's fine. You're dating
my brother's ex.

It's fine.

Shiv, no. It's social.
It's not a sexual thing.

So there's nothing
I need to tell you about.

And yet, you're telling me.

Because I bumped into Marlinda, okay?

And of course,
she got her little beak in,

so I had to tell her it wasn't business
because she asked.

So, the headline is there's
nothing to worry about. Okay?

It's fine,
it's all fucking fine.

Seriously. Knock yourself out.

Go fucking nail her in the coat check.
I don't care.

The kid from St. Paul
has really made it.

I just thought this was something
worth discussing.

You don't discuss something, Tom,
that's already fucking happening.

You don't say "Shiv, do you mind,"

"Naomi and I are at the Pierre
and I'm inside her."

- "Would you mind if I ejaculate?"
- Whatever.

Fine. I saw from the calendar update
you're back in the city tonight?

So, why the fuck are you meeting
with her? What's going on?

Take care, Shiv.

It's like a private members' club,
but for everyone.

It is clickbait in a way,
but for smart people.

We have the ethos
of a non-profit,

but a path to crazy margins.
Shiv, you okay?

- Yeah.
- You sure?

It's fine, I'm fine.

Tom's apparently out
with Naomi Pierce.

Did you know about this?

What? No.

- Where are you at with her?
- I don't know.

Like carnival of mind fuck.
We haven't really talked.

Well, apparently she's fucking Tom now.

Can I go get them?

Yeah. I'm fine.
I'm actually fine.

He's not...

It was just a meeting, apparently,
so it's fine. Let's do this.

Yeah? Do you think
they can just give us two?

I mean, it's fine,
but they just got off a long flight.

Tell 'em they can shove
their petrodollars

up their human rights record.
We need to talk to our sister.

They're fine. They love it.

Just find them a journalist to burn
with cigarettes while they wait.

Shiv, is it a date?

I don't know.

It probably isn't, but...

I mean, Naomi Pierce. Dad?

With Dad? You think what?

I got sent this from my team.

Apparently Bun Pierce has been
tagged on some girl's Insta at Dad's.

- At Dad's?
- At the birthday.

Okay. Well, board meeting imminent.

He sells up,
but with ATN spun off?

What? He's lining up a Pierce
acquisition to add

to his little fucking ATM rump?

- I guess.
- Or it could just be a brain fuck.

Dad twisting our turnips,
playing the old fuck trombone.

Set Tom and Nay up to just torture us.

Set them up to torture us?

I mean, he's a sociopath,
but he wouldn't be a good torturer.

Not 'cause he doesn't have
the stomach,

he just doesn't have the patience.

I'm gonna call Nay.

- Telly?
- Yeah?

Telly, jelly, belly, one query.

Pierce, PGN. What's the vibes,
YOLO, rumbatron?

Are they in play?

I know they're always open to offers

and the sale contingent
on the trust is itchy, I believe.

Should I call Nabby through?

Five more. Please. Just give us five.

Okay, yeah.

Hey. You okay, Con?

Yeah. Just polling.

- Ten days out...
- What are you at now?

- Solid. Still holding.
- Yeah, one percent.

The fear is in these last days,
it could get squeezed.

Squeezed down?

From one?
'Cause that's the lowest number.

No. There's decimals.

They're saying that I could need
to get aggressive

in certain media markets

because both sides are trying
to squeeze my percent.

That's greedy, knowing they have
all the other percents.

But it gets awfully spendy
to get aggressive.

Like, how much?

Like another hundred mil.

One hundred million? Damn!

So, what would you get for that?
Could you win?

Good Lord, no.

No. That won't move the needle.

The hope is that would maintain
my percent.

And for your percent you get...?

A place in the conversation.

Which is great, 'cause conversation's
important to be inside of.

But it is kind of a lot.
Right, Will?

A hundred million?
Yeah.

But if you spent it,
you'd still be like rich.

Sure, yeah.

Nevertheless, like,
minus a hundred million.

When it comes to this new venture
with GoJo,

and if you talk to Matsson,
consider it.

Right. Thank you.

So...

- Looks good.
- We squared away on this?

Got the structure,
got the landing zone.

Naomi thinks that Nan has lost
all interest in business.

The left are going after them now.

Savages. They eat their own.

The cousins want out. So, I think,
a last push on price maybe...

Little tummy tickle on culture.

And Naomi's flown out to reassure.

This is it. You landed the plane, Logan.

48 hours and out.
Congratulations!

Have you heard from the rats?

Shiv? No.

Good.

One thing has been
on my mind though, sir.

Yes.

With one thing and another,
I'm sure we'll iron it all out,

but the rocky, old road of life,

and the wife part of that can be
a difficult part of it.

As you know.

Not to comment, just to say it would
be great to get your take.

Hopefully, it won't come to that, but...

In the end, if there is just
too much emotional shrapnel...

I wondered what your view would be.

Not that you necessarily
need to have one,

but what would happen
were a marriage, such as mine,

even in fact mine,

if that were to falter
to the point of failure?

- If you and Shiv were to bust up?
- Right.

I guess, Shiv and I have had
this experiment,

this trial separation,

but whatever happens,
we'll always be good, right?

If we're good, we're good.

Okay. Well, that's heartening.

That's heartening.

I'm heartened by that.
That's great.

Kerry! Where's the grub?

Tom's going off his nut here.

So, you two are thinking we should
be buying Pierce, huh?

Because that's obviously what
you're thinking, and let me just say,

that's quite the fucking pivot!

Right. You may be thinking,
"What about The Hundred?"

Maybe, fuck The Hundred?

Fuck The Hundred, Shiv?

After Dubai, you were high as shit
on it. It was basically your idea.

- I love it. I do.
- You do?

Yes, but can't we do both?

Can't we do both?

Let's launch a high-visibility
execution-dependent

disruptor news brand

while simultaneously performing CPR
on a fucking corpse

of a legacy media conglomerate.

Should we ask Tellis?

Yes. Let's ask Tellis.
I wonder what he's gonna say.

"Hey, Telly. Would you rather five
million in fees from a funding round"

"or 35 million from an acquisition?"

I thought we were going
for The Hundred.

Small, new, fast on our feet.

- Are you scared of fighting Dad?
- No, Ken.

That's getting fucking old.

You spent the last three months hunting
down contributors, backers, right?

- Working your fucking ass off.
- I don't have a view.

All I would say is, maybe it's worth
the conversation, all right?

It is our wheelhouse.

It's a Daimler that's been in the barn
for 20 years.

Clear the chicken shit
off that thing, fucking maybe.

Okay. But can we even afford it?

Okay. It's halved now?

So that's, like, eight, nine bil.

And after the GoJo sale,
we'll have 2-3 bil.

So, yeah, that's our nut.

If we partner up with our name
with these fucks here,

some other pieces of shit,
our experience,

Shiv the yummy dummy Demmy,

my profile as the fearless fighter
of the good fight,

you as the dirty little fucker
pushing the filth buttons.

Yeah, new gen Roys.
We have a fucking song to sing.

I mean, as a business
it's much better

than the made-up company of dreams
we were ready to pitch.

Fuck you!
You loved it!

I do. It's very exciting.
But it's kinda bullshit.

Rome, it is.
I wanna do something.

We have a seminal election
about to happen,

and it's fucking 1933,
and I wanna have a say.

It makes sense, Rome, to start
an empire with an established brand.

At least rule it out.

Disgustibus!

I hear you've made
an enormous faux pas,

and everyone's laughing up
their sleeves about your date.

What? Why?

Why? Because she's brought
a ludicrously capacious bag.

What's even in there?
Flat shoes for the subway?

Her lunch pail?
Greg, it's monstrous.

It's gargantuan.
You could take it camping.

You could slide it
across the floor after a bank job.

Well, whatever. She's another tick
on the chart.

The Disgusting Brothers.

Don't call us that.
It was heavily ironized, Greg.

Okay. I'm kidding.
I really do like her.

Well, she's used all the display
towels in the bathroom

and now they're sopping wet.

She's gabbling about herself
and posting it on social media.

She's asking people personal questions

and she's wolfing all the canapes
like a famished warthog.

People are overreacting.
She brought a normal sort of handbag.

You are a laughingstock
in polite society.

- You'll never go to the opera again.
- Maybe we should go.

Are you okay?
What happened?

Nothing. I just asked Logan
for a selfie.

- You asked Logan for a selfie?
- Yeah.

I said "congrats on the big deal".

I was like "kar-ching", am I right?"
I was being funny.

So I'm in touch with their bankers.

Nan thinks she's honor bound
to another buyer.

- Did she say no?
- No.

But they're close to agreeing
the outlines of a deal.

There's not a ton of interest,
managing the family's a nightmare,

so they're looking for a preferred
bidder to run a bilateral.

She wants to lock in that preferred
bidder tonight.

So, she didn't think it could work.
But she did say

she could speak to you, Shiv.

Okay. Well, should I at least call?

Just check in at Grey Gardens

and go mano a Nan-o to see
if there's anything there at all?

Work your magic.

You good?
It's nice, huh?

Yeah. Little piggies stuffing
their mouths.

Why is everybody
so fucking happy?

Logan...

- You okay?
- Yeah.

I got done a huge fucking deal
in exactly the right time.

I got ATN, plus Pierce.

I got the election.
I got plenty on my plate.

Sure.

I thought there might be
a churchman.

I'm sorry?

A cardinal was mentioned.
Bit of fucking class.

What about Jeryd?

Mencken? I think that he hopes to,
but realistically...

But I think that he hopes to.
But Jillian is here.

Do you want me to be in touch
with the kids?

When is she calling?

I think she just wants to talk
to her whole gang.

Listen, I'm not gonna sit
like a cunt,

waiting for that old crone.

The man of the hour!

Colin!

- You all right?
- Yeah. Let's get out of here.

So it is Dad. Confirmed.

Yeah. She's a complicated woman.

"I'm honor bound,
my mind is made up,"

"but also,
how soon can we be there?"

- Fuck her!
- What do you think?

I think she hates Dad.

But also thinks we're fake fruit
for display purposes only.

I don't know.

Can we tell her to fuck off?

Maybe not go back to the mat
with Dad.

You know, back
in that fucking room...

- Shall we cards on the table?
- Yeah.

- I do like Pierce.
- Agreed.

- Fuck's sake!
- Rome, it makes sense.

We wanted to do something together,
and we know news, entertainment,

and this is off the shelf.

So, I guess until now, you've just sort
of been stringing us along?

No. I like the other shit, I do.

I like this, I really do.

And besides, everything else
might fall apart.

He might go on a killing spree
in 7-Eleven,

and you might get your dick stuck
in an AI jerk machine.

I have to look after myself
because nobody else will.

I like this.

So, you wanna fly there,

like Nan Pierce's little
Windsor Dog Show bitch?

- It's just a checkout.
- Yeah.

Fuck! Shit!

I'm worried, I guess.

Like you wanna fuck Dad.
You wanna fuck Tom.

I'm the only one who wants to set up
a business as a business

and doesn't wanna fuck anyone.

Rome, this acquisition would be
nothing to do with Dad.

- It's completely unrelated.
- Don't believe you.

- Seriously.
- Seriously don't believe you.

Okay, well, this is not about
getting back at Dad.

but if it hurts him.
it doesn't bother me.

I think that you don't wanna do this
'cause you're scared of conflict.

Honestly, Rome,
being rational,

putting aside the internecine
family concerns,

the personal tittle tattle,

just think about how fucking funny it
would be if we screw Dad

over his decades-long
obsession.

You're a good guy.

- Thank you, sir.
- You're my pal.

Thank you.

- You're my best pal.
- Thank you.

I mean, what are people?

Right.

What are people?

They're economic units.
I'm a hundred feet tall.

These people are pygmies.

But together,
they form a market.

Okay. Right.

What is a person?
It has values and aims,

but it operates in a market.

Marriage market, job market,

money market, market for ideas,
et cetera.

So, everything is a market?

Everything I try to do
people turn against me.

Nothing tastes like it used to,
does it?

Nothing is the same as it was.

You think there's anything
after all this? Afterwards?

I don't know.

I don't think so.
I think this is it, right?

Maybe.

My Dad is very religious...

But realistically though?

- I don't know.
- And that's it.

We don't know.
We can't know.

But I've got my suspicions.

I've got my fucking suspicions.

Lookie here! Pardon me!

Hello, Kerry!
And how are we today?

Hi! Can you hear me?
The line is a little bit...

Sort of. We're in transit.
Can you hear me?

You'd be able to hear her better if she
took Dad's cock out of her mouth.

What's that?

That was my sister saying
that we would hear you better

if you took Dad's cock
out of your mouth.

So. my question was,
would you consider giving him a call?

Would we consider at least a call?

Well, is he apologizing?

Did he ask?

Did he ask?

He...

I know that he would love
to hear from you.

If he were to call,
then we would see.

It's just gonna be a lot to get him
to call, just knowing him.

I think we know him
pretty well, actually.

We've never licked
his big omelet nipples.

I could get him to text
a request for a call.

Text? I'm afraid we're gonna need
to hear that voice.

You can pop it back in your mouth.
We're getting on the plane.

Thanks, bye.

- Dick.
- Problem.

He's not picking up for me.
He pick up for you?

Hey!

Hey!

Will. I'm sorry.
Can I get through?

Hey, baby!

Listen. So, you know the wedding.

I've been thinking...

About?

Is the boat special enough?
Like, brainstorming...

What if we got married underneath
the Statue of Liberty with a brass band?

Get a rapper.
I don't know, jet packs,

confetti guns, and razor wire

and bum fights,
and, you know, goody bags.

- And hoopla and razzmatazz.
- Bum fights?

Con, you sound unhinged.
What is this?

If I can get inserted
into the news cycle,

that's a huge savings
from paid media.

Right.
The wedding...

I've always... It's dumb,
but I wanted a nice wedding.

I'm scared, Willa.

I have spent so much fucking money
and it's getting scary.

If I was to fall under 1%,
I would become a laughing stock.

Would you just consider it?
Just a little bit of hoopla?

Just for the final push.

Hey, hey, hey!

Kerry said she knows
where he is.

He's coming back now.
What are you smiling for?

Nothing.

What?

The Disgusting Brothers
on motherfucking tour.

- We just did it.
- What do you mean you did it?

She's a firecracker, man.
She's crunchy peanut butter.

Wait. You did it?
Are you serious? Where?

We were looking for the armory
slash-cigar-humidor

and she pulled me
into a guest bedroom

and bingo-bongo hit that bango.

You actually did it? Greg...

You are fucked.

You're fucked.

Logan, he's camera'ed up the wazoo. CCTV.

- Which room?
- Every room. You know that.

I evidently did not know that.

- Are you serious?
- Of course.

And he watches it back every night
with a scotch.

See if anyone's stolen
a butter knife.

He's gonna fucking gut you
like a rainbow trout.

Fuck!

What did you do?
Were the lights on?

Did you actually do it?
Tell me.

We put our hands
down each other's pants.

And had a bit of a rummage.

Did you rummage to fruition?

Can I not say?

You've accidentally made him
a sex tape, Greg.

- Oh my God!
- You need to tell him.

Okay, party's over.
Rival bid, let's go!

Tom, Gerri, Karl, Frank,
upstairs, library.

Let's flush it out.

Would you mind just giving me a sec?

Okay. Sure.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Hi!

Hi!

So she's having a little wobble.

Nan? What do you mean?

She's not sure it feels right to meet
you guys. But she feels terrible.

Okay. So, what do we do?

She might be getting a headache.

She wondered if you could give her
five, see how it develops.

Okay, sure.

Let's see how the headache develops.

Okay, Jesus.

So, who's crawled
out of the woodwork?

Who is it?

- What?
- The kids are with the Pierces.

They are the rival bidders?
Butter my beanpole.

How did they pick up the scent?

A million ways. Everybody knows
they're looking for suitors.

Could they even get the cash together?
Couldn't Logan stop them?

If Waystar is sold, they have the right
to liquidate their five percents.

- You should probably tell him.
- I'm very focused on the GoJo deal.

This is a side issue.

- You're such a trusted advisor.
- Yeah, but I'm getting out.

I don't know what the news is,
and it's beyond my purview,

and I'm walking away.

- Beware the blood sugar.
- Well, fucking find out!

- Sir, if I may have a moment.
- What? What's the issue?

The rival bidder,
it's probably the kids.

I don't think you have anything
to be concerned about.

You are the solid option.

Call your wife, Tom.

Call your fucking wife and tell them
to get their own fucking idea.

It's pathetic!

And tell her she's never had a single
fucking idea in her entire life!

- What?
- No, it can wait.

What else?

It's private.
Can you and I just have a moment?

- Over there.
- Thank you. sir.

You think she's just cooling us off?
Doing a Dad move?

No, no. Poor thing has a headache.

So, she's feeling a little better.
If you like, she will see you.

Get to talk to an old lady about
newspapers. Thank you so much.

So how did it go?

So, he says he finds me disgusting
and despicable,

but he kind of smiled.

- Did he?
- Yeah.

What did you say?

So, I said she's a bit wild.

She's quite eager

and maybe she'd had a hit
of the old wacky tabacky or worse.

And that I never intended to soil
these halls.

And maybe she's just a bit of a...

Bit of a drug-addled, cock monster.
So, you blamed it on her.

You're so gallant.

She's gonna have to leave, okay?

Is that really necessary?

- Do you have an issue with that?
- No, look.

Colin, I'm fond of her,
but we must do as we see fit.

She posted to social media.

I'm gonna have to ask to go through
her phone.

You wanna come explain?

Wait, sorry. You know what?

I think it is best if you go do
what you have to do.

I don't wanna see what happens
in Guantanamo.

So you go, do your ways,
and God be willing.

Well, hello! Welcome!

Apologies for the kerfuffle.
I have an appalling migraine.

But I can manage.
How are you all?

- Great.
- Great to see you.

And it's a lovely place.

If would seem that they shred
hundred-dollar notes for fertilizer.

Now, how are you all fairing
in terms of your father?

We're fine. It's just a complicated,
private situation.

Whereby we all hate him.

Well, please sit.

Look, as you probably know,
we are talking with our bankers.

And we have a whole number of
very interesting proposals to consider.

And I think it's all wrapped up.

So, I wanted to say thank you
for coming,

but I think it's just
a little bit too late.

We have a preferred bidder.

I hope that I have not
inconvenienced you.

Okay, well, lovely visit.
Great to see you guys.

Really. I am very sorry.

May I offer you some bottles?

They might as well be jars of jam
to me,

but the connoisseurs seem
to like them.

I fear I have peasant tastes.

You don't wanna just hear the offer?

I got a taste for hypermarché
vin ordinaire

when I was 19 years old and I have
never been able to shake it.

I like my wine thin and vinegary.

- Like her men.
- Naomi!

No, but really I fear it is a trip made
in vain.

The other offer's just too good.

Listen, long story short, Nan,
you called this right before.

Logan wants to take your company
and fuck it.

He loathes you

and he wants to take your properties
and roll them in the dirt.

And we wouldn't do that.

I think that after this election,

we all, as a country, could be
in a very bad place.

We would maintain your values.

That's all good and well, but obviously,
with one thing and another,

we have a responsibility to get
the best possible deal for my family

and the other shareholders.

I'm confident that we can be
competitive on price.

What with Jamie's divorce
and Anne's disaster in Maine...

And this place...

How's your financing?
Not that I understand at all.

It's robust.

Tellis and our team can talk
to your people.

And in terms of your futures?

We've written our resignation letters

and the GoJo deal signs
in 48 hours.

You'd still be married
to the head of ATN.

- That's a bit messy.
- I'm getting a divorce.

Okay. I'm sorry to hear that.

It's a sad, sad day
when love dies.

Listen, this is very confusing.

And I don't want to talk numbers.
It's not about the numbers.

Totally.

Shall we just say our number, just see
if that makes any sense?

I don't like this.

Makes me feel like I'm in the middle
of a bidding war.

Horrible.

Different people saying different
numbers. Eight, nine. What's next?

It's so confusing. What comes
after nine? Nine B?

Would you mind if we all had
a brief chat?

Have you seen the view from
the terrace? It's incredible.

- Can't beat it.
- We'll try.

Thank you.

Nan is thinking, and she wondered
if she could ask for your indulgence.

It's not a money question.

So, you okay to hold on for a minute
just before you talk to her?

Well, what else can I fucking say?

Hi. Yeah. We'll hold.

Nobody tells jokes anymore, do they?
Karl, do you have any jokes?

What's that?

I'm saying, Karl,
it's a bit dry in here.

Do you have any jokes?

- Let me think.
- Dry as fucking dust. Come on!

Roast me!
Give me a drubbing!

Frank, start. Be funny!

It's not really my thing, Chief.

You don't think I can take it?

No, it's just not my style.
I mean, I can.

The thing about Logan Roy is...

The thing about Logan is
he's a tough old nut.

Christ. Sid fucking Caesar. Greggy.

You're mean.
You're a mean, old man.

You're a mean, old bastard,
and you scare the life out of folks.

That's your thing.
You're scaring me right now.

And that's why I don't
even know what to do.

Who wants to smell Greg's finger?

Guess the scent, win a buck.

Come on! Roast me!

Where's all your kids,
uncle Logan?

- On your big birthday.
- Where's your old man?

Still sucking cock at the county fair?

Gerri, been sent anything funny lately?

All a bit horrible for me.
Thanks, Logan.

I'm not being horrible,
I'm being fun. Fucking Munsters.

Okay, very good. Hang on.

So, she would like
to get this figured out

in theory, at least, tonight.

The uncertainty is not good.

They would like us to get
our best foot forward

on an indicative price tonight.

No need to play nice.
Should I tell her to fuck off?

- Loge?
- I'm thinking.

- Is she talking to them?
- I think so.

Okay, okay, okay.
Kerry, I may need input.

Tellis, you there?

Hey, yeah.
I think we can get that together.

Okay, so were gonna go in
and say eight.

We're starting at eight.

But if we're going for this,
let's not be hard asses.

We gotta let her know that we can
see upside,

but she's gotta help us prove it out.

What? Yes, I'm interested.
Shut up!

- Okay. So should I...
- Yeah, she likes you.

- Eight is good.
- Thanks, T.

Great, call you back.

Tell her what?
We anchor at seven?

Not a problem.

Not too insulting?

It's fine. I mean, it's insulting,

but it's not like you're wasting
relationship capital. She hates you.

Start at six.
But like you're kidding around.

Seven is what we soft-floated, right?

Six.
Find something we've lost conviction on

just to let her know that we're not
Terry fucking Turnip Truck over here.

Hi, Nan!

This may be hard to say for me
and to tear for you...

Thank you.

Hi, Nan.
So I think we're looking at...

Were very relaxed about
the eight billion landing spot.

This is disgusting.

But thank you.

- We'll just need a minute.
- Okay.

Right.

They didn't love it.

What are they up to,
do you think?

- I don't know.
- I don't wanna lose this, Tommy.

You wanna just jump right up?
What to?

Call your wife. Call Shiv.

So, she appreciates eight.

Yeah? She appreciates it? Cool.

But she wonders
if there's a little more upside.

Okay. Telly. Hello.

Eight-five. Can we go there, T?

I don't have the precise composition
of our consortium.

But I know the asset
and I think we can get there.

You fucking jerking it to your
yacht catalogue there, T?

This is exciting, guys!

Thanks, Tellis.
That's a great insight.

He's gonna bill us 200 mil
for that strategy advice.

Incoming.

Hello? Tom?

Okay. He wants a discussion.

What? Dad's got Tom on this?
What? Was Colin not available?

- Hey, Shiv.
- Fuck you, mountain man!

Hey! We were just wondering

if we're not being played a little
since this is all indicative.

What did he go up to, Tom?

- I can't tell you that.
- Come on, you can tell me.

Did he go to nine?
He didn't go to nine, did he?

We were just wondering,
all things being equal,

the asset does have a price

and it would be crazy to add
an emotional premium here.

So should we be looking
for a back door on this?

What's Dad's ceiling?

Well, what's your ceiling?

You go first, Tommy.
Build that trust, bruh.

His ceiling is...

Your dad is just...

Shiv, could we just talk?

- Our ceiling is 12.
- Fuck off!

- Yeah.
- Okay, sure.

Ours, too. Okay.

I think Dad is gonna go to nine. 9,5.

So we need to be at 9,5.
Right, Tellis?

I wonder if we don't nickel and dime it
and we just go to ten.

So, we think Dad's at eight-five, nine.
So, we go nine-five to top them out.

But ten?
Just to show that were really serious?

That's just an extra half bil?

It's definitive.
It ends the conversation.

Well, that's a pretty penny
for a conversation ender.

Can't I just, like, jizz
in her Break Bumper?

It rounds it out.

It does that,
it makes it extremely divisible.

Half a billion dollars
is 500 million dollars.

A million is a thousand thousand.
You do know that.

500 times a thousand thousand
of actual money

that we could be spending
on snowmobiles and sushi.

It's getting toppy, but it would be
great to be the preferred bidder.

But is it actually worth it?

It's worth what the top bidder
will pay, I guess.

I really wish I went to Harvard
Business School like you, T.

It is intimidating talking to
an intellectual giant like yourself.

- Ten?
- Ten.

I mean...

Okay.
Yeah, ten. Fuck you. Ten.

So. Nan, look.

We love the company
and the heritage,

and we'd like to make an offer
that we think values the company

and ends the conversation
and closes this out.

On an indicative handshake,
we'd like to take Pierce

to the next stage of its evolution
with a bid of ten billion dollars.

That gives us something
to think about.

So they're not accepting
another bidder.

Excuse me?

They said they've received
a conversation-ending offer.

- Tell them I'll go up.
- She says they're content.

That's bullshit.

I get the impression
it's upwards of 9,5.

Fucking geniuses. Ten?

I get a ten feeling.

Kind of feels like we should
fucking open some champagne.

I am going back to LA
to retire to my bedroom

and pull myself off
quite aggressively hard.

- Shotgun.
- Hang on!

- Will you speakerphone me, Shiv?
- Yeah. It's Tom.

Hi! Okay.

So, I have your dad
and he has a message.

Congratulations on saying the biggest
number, you fucking morons.

I think we got him.

Yeah.

It's me.

Mondale...

It's okay.

Hey.

Sorry, did I wake you?

No. I thought you were hoteling.

I needed wardrobe access, actually.

I thought you took your favorites.

I don't wanna be restricted
to my favorites, Tom.

Okay. Do you wanna talk?

I hear you and Greg call yourselves
the Disgusting Brothers now.

Pretty cool.

Do you have a logo,
and do you do "The Rules"?

Is Greg your wingman?

We sometimes grab a drink, Shiv.

It's pretty cool.
I hear you date models now.

We agreed that we could have a look
around while we had a think, right?

You look good. Ripped.

Well, I don't think so.
But thank you.

Did you get buff for the models, Tom?

Do you bring them back here
and do the positions?

Do you do all the positions
with your models now, Tom?

Do you take turns with Greg?

Do they sit on your face
to shut you up?

Do you really want to get into a full
accounting of all the pain

in our marriage? If you do,
I can do that.

How's Mondale?

Mondale's fine.
Don't worry about him.

I guess he doesn't recognize
your scent any longer.

Well, things have become complicated.

I wonder if there's even
a way through this.

Right.

You know, I wonder
if we might've run out of road.

We were going to have
a big talk.

I wonder if you might want
to make it official, you know?

Do you wanna talk?

There's some things I wouldn't mind
saying and explaining.

I don't wanna rake up a whole lot
of bullshit for no profit, Tom.

- But I feel...
- Just stop!

I don't think it's good for me
to hear all that.

I think it might be time
for you and I to move on.

That makes me sad.

Sure.

And you don't want to talk
about what happened?

I think we could talk things to death.

But actually, we both just made
some mistakes.

I think a whole lot of crying
and bullshit is not gonna help that.

If you're good,

we can just walk away
with our heads held high

and say good luck, yeah?

Well, okay.

I could see if I can make love to you.

Would you like to?

I don't think so, Tom.

Should I go? Or are you gonna go?

I'm tired, so...

But you can stay there,
if you like.

Okay.

So this is it?

Yeah, I guess.

Gave it a go...

Yeah, we gave it a go.

Two men sustained
life-threatening injuries

as result of a brawl gone too far.

However, no shots were fired
at this family friendly 3-day event.

Instead, Brian Allen
and Pete Meyers,

two firearms experts
in their own right...

Hello? Logan?

Cyd, I just watched the top
of the hour.

It's bullshit.
People watch at night,

I watch at night.

Who is this fucking lunk anyway?

He looks like a ball sack in a toupee.

Are you losing it, Cyd?
Are you fucking losing it?

I'm on it. Don't worry.

"This has sullied a family-oriented
and entirely peaceful occasion."

The Fayetteville Gun Show continues.
We'll be back right after this.

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