Succession (2018–…): Season 3, Episode 1 - Secession - full transcript

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it -
- Hey, Ken. Are you okay?
- Is he okay?

Uh, he's in the bathroom.

Hey! Hey, sir!

Jet's en route back.

And, uh, where we headed, sir?

Okay. Where are the
planes? Can we go?

Should be no more than an hour.

I got us a nice room to wait in.

At least, not that
nice, actually,

but it was the
nicest I could source.

Where are we going, do you know?

E... Either New York or Geneva

or London or Singapore or L.A.

Okay. Thank you.

- What's he saying?
- Not much.

Look, I mean, do we
know what's he thinking?

Yeah, well, he's talking
about his Mom a lot.

- Oh! Okay.
- His mom?

What... what's the play?

I don't know.

Lot of interesting
ideas flying around.

I got fired. He got
fired. She got promoted.

I got re-hired. She got
demoted, right? It's...

Come on!

Um... Dad? Want
me to ride with you?

You wanna suck my dick?

Is what he said

to his son as the sexual
assault allegations poured in.

Hey, dude.

Let me call you back.

Hey, Ken.

If, if you're okay, will
you just say, "Okay,"

so that I know you're okay?

Because otherwise I... I'll
have to break the door down

and I don't really want... I
don't know if I'll be able to.

Wha... But, um...

Okay. Action stations.

Let's fucking go,
let's get into this.

And where are we going, Ken?

Waystar, plant a flag,
fix on my lawyer, PRs,

get some independent
directors shaking,

and maybe ride in to
see the fucking Feds.

No comment! No comment!

- No comment! No comment!
- You don't have to say that.

You don't have to say that,
Greg, just don't comment.

- Excuse me.
- No comment! No comment!

Stop! Stop! Stop it!

- Okay, Jess, let's go.
- Uh-huh.

- This is a company vehicle.
- What?

I mean, I don't have
a dog in this fight.

But since you just clearly
opened the company up

to investigation, lawsuits,

I imagine you're no longer
working for the company?

Well, no, because I was acting in
the best interests of the company.

Yeah? Violating your
duty of confidentiality?

Violating your fiduciary
duties as a director?

Look. I need a sealed unit
here, Karolina. I need a clean jar.

So... so... are you in for
this fucking revolution?

No, I know it's exciting.
And, and I... I... I s...

- I...
- Are you with me, yes or no?

Why did
you do it like that, Ken?

- I mean, did you know?
- Me? No. No.

No, I had no prior warning and I
was surprised at his comments,

but now I am obviously concerned
and interested to hear more.

- Okay.
- This is a fork in your life, Karolina.

This is the righteous vehicle.

- It's just not... It's not...
- Okay. Stop the car.

- Out. Out. Please. I need to make calls.
- Ken...

I can't have weevils in the
fucking flour sack, okay?

- Out. Now.
- Ken?

Everything you've
heard today is privileged.

Repeat anything and I'll sue
you out of your fucking ass.

- Are you coming, Greg?
- I... um...

I, uh, I...

I... I... I think I'm just gonna
catch a ride with these guys.

- Right.
- Okay? Thank you.

Why'd you get
kicked out of the car? What happened?

Why did you leave Kendall's car?

Was he driving to the airport?

Do you have anything to say?

Logan Roy
was personally and fully aware

of the crimes committed
aboard Brightstar Cruises.

Kendall Roy says
his father oversaw

millions of dollars of payments

to hide and cover-up criminal
activity at the cruise line.

Roy went on to deliver
a blistering denunciation

- of his father and the values and practices at Waystar Royco.
- Nice.

The media
empire and parent company

of the conservative news channel,
ATN, and the correspondent that...

So, what are you
actually thinking?

- What am I thinking?
- Yeah, what are you thinking?

What you mean? In terms of what?

Um, in terms of the
fucking... the situation?

Hmm... I'm thinking that we
just need to back Dad right now,

and I can't believe anyone
would think anything else.

Yeah. Yeah, of course. Yeah.

But... what am I
actually thinking?


Well, I'm thinking,
"Is he toast?"

Oh, fuck, you are? Really?

Yeah, well, what,
what are you thinking?

I don't know.

Yeah, I am thinking that
maybe I shouldn't be thinking,

"Is he toast?"

Is he okay?

I really think we should react.

By George, I think
he's on to something!

Hey, Hugo's got planes.

Hi. Listen, I'm
drowning in calls.

And I want to deny,
you know, speculation.

So, uh, I'm just
checking that obviously

we're all good if I
say, for a starter,

that he never hurt
anyone, and he never...

touched anyone, personally?

You can reassure on that, Hugo.

- Good.
- Did you know?

Connor? Roman? Shiv?

Did you know?

Wh... What's that?

Did you know he
was going to do that?

- I was wondering.
- Well, obviously not, Dad.


Kendall's mentally
ill. He's insane.


Where's my phone?

Don't know, Pop. We'll call you.

Uh, yeah, you got it on silent?

Okay, I think I want Lisa
Arthur as my personal lawyer,

but can you call Remi to
hit me up with other names?


Greg, Greg, if I get
taken out on other shit,

I might need you to take
my cultural temperature.

- Uh-huh. Got it.
- Okay?

As in? Uh, wh... what
does that, uh, mean?

Like before I get my
media monitoring in place

I might need you to slide
the sociopolitical thermometer

up the nation's ass
and take a reading.

Okay? I'll get seasick.

Just feed me the metadata,
anything that's gonna

move the market on me reputationally, yeah?

Uh-huh, uh-huh, yeah. Sure.

Uh, media monitoring
department over here.

Wow, everyone is
telling me Lisa Arthur.

She's my girl.

Did you... did you get
her avails for me, Jess?

Um, we have a call out to her...

Okay. Um...

Jess Jordan on Kendall's phone.

- Is it him?
- Hi.

-Kendall's, uh, just
attending... -Just listen.

To some other matters but I
can pass on your thoughts.

What... what's he saying?

- Do you wanna know?
- Yeah.

Okay. I'll tell him.

Uh, he says that this
could get very ugly for him.

You played a decent move.

If you were to retract

and say that you were
unwell and that you misspoke,

then maybe there's a deal here.

You know what?
Tell him, legally,

it's not wise for
me to talk to him,

but that I'm going to be in
contact with the government

and that this would be a good
moment for him to step down.

Okay, he heard.

That I'm gonna
grind his fucking bones

to make my bread.

Uh, he says, in that case,

he's going to grind up your
bones to make his bread.


Well, tell him,

that I'm gonna run up
off the fucking beanstalk.

Okay. Logan? Yeah,
he says in that case

he's going to run up
off the, uh, beanstalk?

He's kind of laughing.
But not, like, nice laughing.

Just tell him he should
step back and cooperate.

I don't want to see
him behind bars.

May no longer be on the same side,

but I don't want that.

That's bullshit.

That's fucking
sanctimonious bullshit.

It was a fucking play.

It was a play, it
was a fucking move.

So, don't act like a cunt to me

because it won't fucking wash!

Okay, bye.

What... what... what did he say?

- Um...
- Any actual legal or, or physical threats?

- Uh...
- You know what?

Don't need that in my head.

Just put it in an e-mail and send
it to yourself, in case it comes up.

Okay. Action stations.

I gave him a chance. Gerri.

Everyone, let's go.

Okay. Great.

So, I suggest I call DOJ

and just right
away let them know

how horrified we were to
learn of these, um, allegations

and that we intend to
form a special committee

and we can tell them
which white shoe law firms...

I have ideas, we are considering
to thoroughly investigate

and promptly report
back their findings.

Right. But do we cooperate?

With the government? Yeah,
I think we have to cooperate.

I mean, we were
under pressure already...

Unless we don't?

Yeah, but real world?

I mean, this is a
public company.

We don't know what they
have or what they might get.

There's only one real play here.

And what if I don't want to pull
down my panties down so fast?

Then you
pull up the draw-bridge.

It's politically motivated.
"Come get us, motherfuckers."

What's our story?

The story is... is that he's
exploiting these poor women.

And that's very sad.

You were grooming
him for the top.

But you know? He's
a junkie and he blew it.

He's a bitter fuck up that
needs psychiatric help.

And of course you're the big baddie,
so everybody jumped on board.

And what about these papers?

Uh, they're fake. Or stolen,

if they even exist. Are you
worried about the papers?

Hmm? We'll go after
him for corporate theft.

This is, you know, not nice
thing to say about your son

but maybe you chop him into a million
pieces and toss him in the Hudson?

You destroy
Kendall, it falls apart.

What do we think?

How's the price?

Well, uh, net-net, it's steady.

But institutions are
dumping in case this kills us

and arbs are buying in
case Sandy and Stewy win.

Yeah, Kendall has
changed the game.

now, it's not... it's too...

It's too hot out there. I
think it's very high risk.

Yeah, well, everything's
high risk if you're a pussy.

- Hey, I eat red meat. Okay?
- Well...

I'm just... the repercussions.

Yeah, but I think
you're looking too small.

We do a dance

and we bide our
time 'til the election.

ATN anointy-nointy the
Raisin for a second term?

New Attorney
General. And by then,

this has gotten a little stale,

Kendall will self-destruct
because it's his favorite.

And this all fades
the fuck away.

If I stop picking at scabs,

saying, "Sorry," who
knows where we'll end up.

Class actions from the
chancers and opportunists.

Admissions of wrongdoing...

- Billions out of the door.
- Fuck!

If you were to call the AG
right now and shout at him,

- could we find out if that'd be okay?
- Hugo, can you find out

what would happen if
Logan called the AG?

Get the Raisin.
Let's go to the top.

Let's get the President.

But gentle. Okay?

Anything else?

Do we want to order some food?

Food? Swallow. We're on saliva

and adrenaline here, until
we get on a plane. All right?

No local foods.

I get the shits, we're fucked.

- Hugo! Let's go.
- Okay.

We've lingered
long e-fucking-nough!

Okay, guys, uh, this way
please. The plane's on the tarmac.

Let's get going. I will
definitely call you back.


Uh, you're the number
one trending topic,

ahead of Tater Tots.

And the Pope followed you.

- Okay... wow!
- Uh...

Okay, no, this is not
the... is this the real?

- No, I don't think this is the Pope.
- Right, great. Thanks Greg.

No, it's, it's a
pope. It's not the Pope.

Hey. Listen, you don't need to speak.

I just want to say,

sorry I didn't talk to you before,
but I just want to let you know

there's a place for you in
the company I'm gonna run.

You just need to tell
him time's up, okay?

He steps back and
we can cool this down.

Someone like you
steps in, a lot of respect.

You know, a lot of folks
would put in a shift for you.

We steady the ship together.

Okay? I did this for you, man.

Did this for us.

For the soul of the company.
This is exciting, Frank. Okay.

- Uh, Gerri. Get me Gerri.
- Okay. Um...

Oh, straight to voicemail.

The vans are here.

So, the President is
basically supportive,

but they think it
might be best for there

not to be a call with you on
the White House log today.

Like he can't make
a fucking private call?

We got offered Michelle-Anne.

Oh, the pantsuit barnacle?

I got her if you wanna.

No. Fuck it. No. I don't
talk to the babysitter.

You fuckin' sound her out.

That'd be great.
Yeah, Yeah I'll hold.

- Where's Karl?
- Yeah. He really feels he needs a sandwich.

- A sandwich?
- Yeah. I tried to tell him. But...

Guys, we have another
van for you over here.

Okay? Right this way.

Michelle? Gerri
Kellman. How you doing?

Listen, I just wanted to
say it was all nonsense

and we know the
President will be supportive,

but we just wanted to answer...

To, to offer to answer any
questions he may have.

Hi, yeah,

Gerri, I think he just feels
for Logan at this difficult time.

Great, well, just let him know

that we are not
asking for favors.

We hear you.

We just wouldn't, simply
in terms of resources,

want DOJ to follow Kendall off

down this rabbit
hole of bitterness.


Well, you know how much
the President respects Logan.


Great. So, off the record, um...

what's the temperature
at Main Justice?

Any danger of them

or Southern District
going Batman on this?

Um, the
Attorney General is very smart.

Oh, we all love Bhavick.

He'll... he'll see
through this, right?

just, the DAG likes to think

she's something of
a straight-shooter.

Marilyn's prickly.

So that's your
only issue, Marilyn.

Well, maybe you
should just fire her!

Ha, ha, ha.

- Justice can't do nothing.
- Well, they could...

It's out of our hands.

Not if you grab it.

Um, but look, we don't
want to fall out with him.

Well no, he's the president.

No, sure, but, do
we want to get the old guys

on the blower so they
can just chat for five?

This will all be great, Gerri.

Just find me whenever,
on anything, okay?

Great, well, I appreciate
getting a read. Um, many thanks.

Yeah. Good?

Good work. Basically supportive.

Good work, Gerri.

Okay, we're,
uh, fueled and tooled.

We all set for New
York City and a fuck fest?

- Gerri, stay.
- Oh.

Excuse me. Sorry.

Oh, Shiv...

Shivy, Shivy, Shivy.

How are you doing over there?

You ready to come
over? I got a spot for you.

Hello, hello? Okay,
Jess, what do we got?

Um, we have
independent directors.

- Boom.
- Opinion shapers, A list.

And then we've got Ewan, Laird.

- Good.
- Your mom, um...

Greg's mom, Josh
Arenson, and Marcia?

- Great.
- Oh, Greg. How's, uh...

Um, I mean...

Headline is, uh,

the internet is big,
uh, obviously, uh...

and I haven't... I can't...
I... I couldn't read it all,

but I'm working
through, I guess, um...

Yeah. That's the big picture
over here at Media Monitoring.

- Is it positive, Greg?
- It's super positive.

- Super positive?
- Yeah.

The negative stuff does
tend to stick in the mind a little

just 'cause it's
quite, uh, visceral.

But yeah. Basically, very good.

Nice memes, good
memeage, and... and, uh, so on.

- Hello?
- Nae? Hey.

I got a million calls,
but I wanted to say hi.

- You see it?
- Mm-hmm.

Yeah, seems like maybe
you're the best man in the world?

Yeah, fuck you.

Yeah, but I mean, maybe you are.

Okay, ha, ha, ha, sure.

- But what if I am?
- No, sure.

But, um, seriously, Ken,
just for a second here.

- What if you really are?
- Um, Ken?

- Yeah?
- We're almost there, so...

Uh, Nae, hey, I'm arriving at
Waystar. Can you come see me?

Oh, um, Remi's saying that

maybe they're trying
to cancel your access?

- Later, Nae. Hey, I love you.
- Yeah.

Okay, well... well...
Well, they can't.

Sure, but, uh, they maybe did?

All right.
Fuck it, keep driving.

There's press at my place, yeah?

Uh, yes.
So, where are we going?

Oh, God. This is crazy.

This is like... this is like O.J.

I... I mean, except if
O.J. never killed anyone.

Who said I never killed anyone?

- What character is that?
- Juice is loose, baby!

- Uh, Gerri. Are you okay?
- Yeah, great. All good.

Just gonna go talk to Hugo.

Because now, we're
gonna go, it looks like

in the first instance,
to Sarajevo.

What the fuck. Sarajevo?

I think Michelle-Anne
freaked him out.

Other places to consider.

Bahrain, Bosnia, Kuwait,
Lebanon, Maldives,

Morocco, Qatar, Saudi
Arabia, the Vatican?

Okay. Fuck.

What do all these
countries have in common?

They're all made up?
They're lands with dragons!

No, I imagine that none of them
have an extradition treaty with the U.S.

- Okay. Fuck.
- You know, what I thought we could do,

um, is discreetly dangle
some juicy contributor contracts

to the more
responsible prosecutors?

We're going to Sarajevo.

What? To Sarajevo?
Excuse me, the fuck...

- It's fine. Shut up.
- Hey. Look.

I'm not sure how
much cover I've got.

I need to talk to a
lawyer on my position.

Who's a tough bastard?

What? Like a kind of Layo
Upton type motherfucker?

A woman would be
great. Like a Lisa Arthur?

- She did the hookers, right?
- She repped the trafficked sex workers, yes.

It'd be great to
have her credibility.

Yeah. There
are three or four good women,

but Lisa has an excellent
brain. She is a winner.

You go with
Layo, people will be like,

"Oh, he's going scorched
earth. Maybe he can fight this."

We get Lisa,
people will be like,

"Gee, maybe this is bullshit."

- Can I get her?
- Well, uh, Shiv...

- Uh, yeah! I...
- Right?

I mean, you know? I'm...

She's... Yeah, she's a
pretty... She's a friend.

- Could you get her for me?
- I don't know. I mean,

she fucking loves winning
and she loves money. So, uh...

- Listen. Listen.
- I don't... know.

Cooperate or not,

to keep the board sweet,

I may need to
step back a little.

Okay. Oh, well then, who would...

I don't want to go back
right now. Does that play?

Yeah, I mean, I just...
I, I want you safe.

- That's the most important thing.
- Yeah.

Okay. Okay, okay, uh,

Shiv, Roman, Gerri
are gonna go back

to manage New York.

No need for me
to go running back

like a slapped girl, looks weak.

- Great! Another plane.
- Want me to go?

No, no, no. I don't trust you.

You're gonna stay with me.
Karl can monitor board liaison.

Tom here, across ATN.

I'll make the call
on the lawyer.

I like... I like Layo, but,
uh, I need to think about it.

Council of war on the plane!

Go on, fuck off back
there, Tumbledown Dick.

Logan, uh, this plane has
now been rerouted to Sarajevo.

It's ready to go. And, uh,
I will get another plane.

Uh, Logan? Do you need...

- Oh, Con?
- This guy? Yeah.

-Con, yes, yes,
yes. Very important.

Can you hold the fort here?
Can you keep this all secure?

You mean hold down the
Balkans with just two divisions?

I can try.

See you
guys. Have a good trip.

- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, listen, my guy made
contact and they wanna know

if we wanna do a
marketing push with the play.

- Okay.
- You know?

The whole hate watch angle,

uh, you know, like, pick
out all the worst reviews

like, you know, "Kill
yourself if you got a ticket,"

or the one about brain poison.

Yeah, okay, I know all
of them, Con. Thank you.

- That's so sweet.
- Right. So, jump on the irono-cycle

and, uh, make it into a thing

for the hipsters
and the dipshits.

- Oh.
- We could make a nice little return.

Mm-hmm. Sure. Yeah, I mean.
Yeah. That sounds exciting.


Hey, so, we'll
talk about things...

- when we get back, right?
- Oh, yeah, yeah.

- Yeah? Okay. Cool.
- Of course. Yeah, okay. So, yeah.

- You know, 'cause I love you.
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Thanks.

Thank you.

And, uh... Yeah, don't...

You'll see him again.

Well, yeah, obviously
I'll see him again, Tom.

- Why would you say that?
- I'm being nice, Shiv.

If you're worried that
he won't come home,

I think that's
unlikely. Okay, so...

Well, I know that.

Okay. Great. It's fine.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Oh, did Ken call you?

Ken? Me? No. No, no, no.

Not to speak. No.
Why, did he call you?


No. No, I was just wondering.

- Okay. Well, look after him.
- Okay.

- Keep in touch.
- Okay.

So, just... This is a
safe place to be, yeah.

So just buzz me in.

Don't tweet from RealKendallRoy.

- I'm not... I'm not tweeting from your account.
- I'm serious.

I'm not. I'm tweeting
from my account.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Just chill here for a second.
- Right.

Hello, hello!

- Hey!
- Hey.

- Are you okay? How are you doing?
- I'm good.

- You're good?
- Yeah. Yeah.

Is it okay if I
bring in the guys?

Sure. Are they vetted?

- Yeah. They're legit, right, Jess?
- Yeah.

- All the Emirati use the firm.
- Yeah, vetted. Totally.

Oh, well, amazing.

So, is this okay to,
to do a few calls?

I wouldn't ask if I had options.

Yes, yes.

- Thank you.
- Of course.

- Thanks, Rava.
- Yeah.

- Hey, Greg.
- I'll close it up.

Yeah, good. Wow.

So, hey, wow!

- You really did it, huh?
- I fucking did it.

Yeah, well, it's
been in the mail.

It has been in the mail.

You know, like you always
said, it was either this

or, you know, go to Mount
Athos and become a monk.

- Oh, yeah. This monastery on Mount Athos.
- Mount Athos.

That, that, that could have
been a more logical choice.

Surprise, surprise.

You came here for what? A, uh...

- pat on the back?
- No, just, uh, the press. They're, they're swarming mine.

And I, I need a hiding
hole for meetings.

Plus, I actually wanted
to see you and the kids.

You know, I, kind of, like...

It was kind of for you guys.

Yeah, well...

Hey, hey, I, um...

I didn't see it but I've just...

I've been up against
it at work but...

- people were saying you did great.
- Oh. Yeah.

Yeah, it was... it
was fine, whatever.

You might want to watch it.

- No, I...
- You might want to.


You know, I'm, I'm, I'm
talking to Lisa Arthur.

Oh, great. Well,
yeah, she's famous.

She's the best.
So, what you think?

Can I do this? Can I win?

- I don't know, Ken.
- No. Right.


How you feeling?

I'm looking forward to
seeing more of the Balkans.


Is this the worst?

Well, there were
the tabloid suicides.

When we nearly went
kablooey because of Argentina.

- I know.
- The Tiananmen Accommodations?

The Black Cloud after Sally Ann?

- I remember.
- I don't know.

He's the comeback kid.

No, I know, I know, I know.

But, Senate, FBI.

SEC, Class Actions.

Plus Sandy and Stewy?

I mean, this is a 12-foot
sub of poisonous tree frogs.

This is the full Baskin-Robbins
31 flavors of fucker right there.


Excuse me, do you
mind? Thank you.

So, this is where I'm landing.

For Waystar, three white
shoe firms on retainers.

Then the next best
five, let's play footsie.

See if we can tie
them up with conflicts.

You two, touch base with
Senate and House surrogates,

payroll commentators,
and friends.

I want everyone lawyered up.

Tom, me to see editorial on
anything on this across ATN

and global cable
and print outlets.

We pressure-point other
operations, the line is,

"Don't lean on this,
it's as bendy as fuck.

Play it smart today, you
won't look a cunt tomorrow."

Karl, I need to talk to
the top 12 shareholders

in the next 30 minutes.

An emergency board meeting ASAP

and they'll be rolling
through 'til next week, okay?

Hugo, I imagine most of that
is obvious and in train, right?

Largely in hand.
Largely in hand.

Great. And in terms
of cooperation...

It's war!

Fuck off!

It's war. Fuck off.

- Good?
- Good.

- Yeah.
- But we throw them this.

I'll step back as CEO.

- Wha...
- You sure?

Well, obviously, on
operational matters

I will expect to have,
um, informal input.

So, as I step back,
uh, temporarily,

who do we like as CEO?

I don't give a fuck.

Its name plates.

Come on. Brain dump.

Speak. Let a hundred
flowers bloom!

No come-backs.

Well, I have to
say, uh, I look good.

- -What?
- What? Why not? I like me.

- Just the fresh face we're looking for.
- Oh, fuck off, Frank.

Karl, if your hands are clean

it's only because your
whorehouse also does manicures.

I mean, I imagine you're
looking at a kid. Or Gerri?

But if you want... if you
want someone short term...

- Frank?
- Who knows the place inside out, I...

You're not trusted.

- You're mashed potatoes.
- Okay, mm-hmm. I get it. Yep.

Now, I'd like a kid,
obviously. So, Shiv or Roman.

But we'd love a woman.
So, Shiv or Gerri.

But I'd like experience.
So, Roman...

or Gerri.

- Just gonna run to the bathroom.
- Uh-huh.

A woman
is... a woman is good.

- Hello?
- Hey, listen. They're playing

fucking dice with
God next door, okay?

He is picking a new
CEO in real time.

Oh, okay. Let me
just check that.

One second.

- What? Interim?
- Sure, sure.

But you know, who knows how long it
will last? VW took, like, 5 years, right?

- Wal-Mart took a decade.
- And what's the temperature?

Oh, it's, you
know, it's free form.

"Let a hundred flowers bloom."

Oh, yeah, right! Sure!


So listen, do you want it?

Me? What?

No. You crazy, Shiv? I
don't think that's even...

I don't think with the
hearings and cruises...

I don't think it's... I don't, I
don't... I think, no, I mean.

- No.
- So, you're okay to push me?

Well, sure. That's
what I wanted to know.

Because he's
gonna fight, he says.

You wanna be the face of that?

Yeah, I mean, you can get
too fucking clever with this,

can't you?

Have a problem in
there, buddy? Can't find a vein?

Hold on. Watch it, fuckhead!

Okay, I gotta go. But, um,
if it's going, you want it?

I don't wanna be buried like Miss
Haversham with a fucking bonnet

full of clever stratagems.
So, yeah! Yes. Yes, I want it.

You get in there and
you hustle, baby. Hustle!


- Interesting call?
- What?

Ah, no. Just... just bullshit.

Oh. Just bullshit?
That's boring.

Ugh! I hate boring
shit, don't you?

- What?
- Just, you know, boring phone calls

about bullshit. It's just
so boring, right, Shiv?

It's boring?

Because Gerri just
heard from Frank

and Dad is apparently
live picking the new CEO.

Oh, Okay.

Oh. "Oh, okay." So, Tom
didn't just mention that to you?

Oh, yeah, now
that you mention it,

- he, maybe he did, yeah. Mm-hmm.
- "Yeah, okay, maybe." Fuck you. Fuck you.

So, how come Frank called
you and how come you told him?

I'm just a very
straightforward person, Shiv.

Oh, yeah? So, what'd you hear?

Well, I heard there's a
number of names in contention.

All right! Care to
make it interesting?

Throw a little
money on the table?

Well, I'm already
pretty fucking interested.

So, I think I'm good.

Yeah, a full tally would be...

Would be great, thank
you. Yep. I can hold.

Hi, uh...

Kinda just wanna let you know,
I was doing his media monitoring

for a while, but I guess...

- Oh...
- you'll be taking that over?

Yeah, that would be us.

Yeah, I wrote
down a lot of tweets,

like relevant tweets that felt
kind of important so I could...

-Is that useful to pass
on? Or... -We can find them.

- They're on Twitter?
- Yeah. They are all on... They're all on Twitter.

- Yeah.
- But thank you.

No worries. Here to help.

I'm on hold over here.

Cancelling my mom's credit card.

Okay. Nice.

Yeah, no. It's pretty
stupid actually.

Uh, my grandpa cut her off.

Uh, long story. I
guaranteed her gold card,

just 'cause I thought that'd
be, like, a good son thing to do?

And then just she saw
the press conference,

and she's kind of, like,

under the impression that
Ken's taking the company down.

And so she's over here
panic buying NutriBullets

and buying a lot of Krugerrands.
Like a very particular currency.

And she never even
drinks the smoothies...

- Hey!
- -So, it's like...

Berry fucking
Schneider in the house!

Thanks for coming.
How you doing?

- Great. Good to see you.
- Yeah? Come on in. Come on in. Let's sit, let's sit.

- Thanks for having us. Comfry.
- Hey, I'm Kendall.

- Is he harassing you?
- No, he's fine.

Greg, stay here.

Welcome to my ex-wife's
living room. Sit, sit.

Can we just say, right off,
some jobs are money jobs,

some are heart jobs.

We would love to work with
you. We love the narrative arc.

We love everything you did.

And I would love
to work with you,

but, uh, if it's cool, and I
know you guys are the best

but is it okay if
this is still a pitch?

- Of course!
- Great.

- So, we have a lot of thoughts.
- Yeah.

Communication planning
and positioning thoughts.

How we can leverage
our relationships

- with significant writers at major outlets.
- Yes. Yes.

Prepare to prime and amplify

- some impressive secondaries.
- Great, great. So, shall, shall I talk, or will you?

we want to hear your thoughts,

of course, but
you wanna start off

- just hearing our five points?
- Sure. Sure, you go.

Okay. So... -But I
think the headline needs to be

"Fuck the weather, we're
changing the cultural climate."

- But you go.
- Okay, I mean...

For context, I, I, I'm talking
to the Times about an op-ed.

Draft an alternative
corporate manifesto.

Drop a rapid reaction
TEDx. Shit like that.

Well, that's great.

It's cheesy as
fuck but, you know,

I need people to see this was
part of a coherent philosophy,

not just punching an old
guy in the fucking nose?

- Yeah?
- Right. Right. That's in line with our thoughts. So...

Well, I just, I may as
well say, on a dumb level,

I'd like my Twitter
to be off the hook.

This could all get super earnest, so I was
thinking of hitting up some BoJack guys.

You know? Some, some,
some of the Lampoon kids...

to just smash that shit, make
my feed a little powder keg

people need to check-in with?

Like cool tweets
that position you?

Yeah, that would be the...

straight-leg chino way
of putting it. "Cool tweets."

- Fuck you!
- Fuck you!

No, it's... I'm kidding. I
know you guys are the best.

Okay, sorry. I want
to work with you

if you can... if you
can work with me?


Well, we think you're going
to win this and we like winners!

Hell yeah.

Hello. Hi,
uh, Waystar Royco?

- Gerri is clean, right?
- Well, I mean. Up to a point?

Oh, she was nowhere near
cruises was she, when... you know?

She was in the UK on all that regulatory
shit, I think, during the time in question.

I have to say, I like Gerri.

Oh! You like Gerri?

Uh-huh. I do.

Are you playing the
reverse banjo, son?

- Trying to black spot her?
- Nope. No. I do.

She's very stolid.
And I like Roman.

Oh, you like Roman?

- What about yourself, Tom?
- Who, me? What?

Oh, you know.
You're kind of family.

Kind of new blood.

Well, that's very kind.
But I don't... no. I don't...

I think it's a little rich for
my blood just yet. So...

- What about Shiv?
- Well, Shiv's great.


I like Shiv. But no experience.
And Roman, great, but...

- You don't think Roman is ready?
- Do you?

Well, is anybody ready?

- Was I ready?
- So...

When he's not all
fucking "meh, meh, meh"...

Plus, I'll be pulling
the strings. Right?

- I like Roman.
- I like Roman.

Of course I like Roman.

Sure you do! He'll
fucking fire you on day one!

Oh, Romulus.

Hey, Dad. Um... can I just
speak to you for a moment?


Well, um, it's already getting
out what you're thinking about

so, um, I just wanted to
throw a couple of things

- in the old, uh, lobster pot.
- Mm-hmm.

I think it should be me.

- Okay.
- It's my time.

I can do it, I want it, and
I think I can do it. So...

- Um... But, I... Sorry, what?
- Okay, um...

No, no. You go.

Yeah, okay. Well...

I think it should be me.


If you don't think I'm
ready, okay, which, um...

um, I would understand.

But... and I'm not saying
that I agree with that,

but, you know, um...

maybe a couple of years under
the wing of an older, uh... hen,

could, you know, see me
crack out of the old egg.

And, um, I gotta, I gotta say,

I know that you've
been sweet on Shiv,

and I love her, like a brother.

But, um, I just don't think
that it's time, you know?

And all bitterness aside,

I do wonder if maybe
it isn't Gerri time.

So I would think just, you know,
let the stone-cold bitch do it.

She's tough, she's got
the good chromosomes.

For whatever reason, it
ain't Romey time, then, uh...

maybe it's crony time.


I hope I haven't, um, I don't
know, overstepped here.

Nope. Thank you, son.

Okay, well, um, I'd love it,
but, you know, I understand.

But I do want it. Okay?

But, you know? No
hard feelings, so, um...

Uh yeah, no, anyway, I'm just...

So, uh, uh yeah, love you, Dad.

Uh-huh, -ROMAN: Bye.

Roman's out.

He's out. Okay?

- Who is it? Is it him?
- Hey.


Yeah, yeah, of course.

Thanks, Dad. Yeah.
Mm-hmm. Sure, I can do that.

I can do it.

What? You can do what?

Oh, fuck. Fuck, go on.

- He wants me to go get Lisa.
- You're a fucking bitch.

He told me to tell you to
wait airport adjacent though,

he might need someone
on investors. You might need

to fly to Boston
to meet Arenson.

Or, you know, hijack a
plane and fly him to Cuba.

And he didn't say
anything about CEO?

Oh. Oh, yeah. No,
sorry, he did. It's me.

Oh. Oh! You got me.

Oh, you really fooled me, Shiv.


We've gone over
that, so now, what's the solution?

Okay. Well, when
is that happening?

- Eminently.
- Okay, good.

Can I have the room, please?

- Hey.
- Hey, Shiv.

Lisa! How are you?

- Good.
- God, look at you!

-It's been so long.
This place... -Sit, sit.

Wow, it's amazing.

Thank you.

So, um... So listen. I'm
just gonna jump right in

because I don't want this
to be difficult with a friend.

Um, and I hope I've not
wasted your time because...

Yeah, no, the
message came through.

- You can't act for my dad.
- Right.

I don't think I fit, so...

Yeah. Uh...

So, cards on the table,
I wanted to talk to you

- about something else.
- Oh. Okay.

Mm-hmm. I'm, uh...

Yeah, I'm thinking about
my own position here.

And to be honest, I
could do with a friend.

A discreet friend
with legal training.

You know, a consigliere.

A smart, savvy woman,
who can help me navigate

the position I find myself in.

Right, that's kind.

But that's not the kind
of role I normally take on.

I know, I know, but, uh,

honestly, Lis, I got
nowhere to fucking turn here.

You know my husband
is a player in this.

And, uh, in one world,

there's, uh, I'm in a position
to come out here as CEO.

Or I might have to leave the
firm to protect my reputation.

You know, I don't know what
my dad did, and I don't know

what my brother did, and I
don't know what the firm did.

I'm in a fucking
fuck pie here, Lisa.

Can I clean it up? I don't know.

I don't know. I have a plan...

but I could easily get crushed
between these two fucking men,

and I need to game things
out, and I need to do that

with someone who can give
me a read legally and culturally

- and politically and socially, and, you know, it's a lot.
- Okay, look. Okay, look.

- And I trust you and...
- Look, look, stop. Stop, Shiv.

I can't give you legal advice

and you should not give me
any confidential information.

- Okay?
- Okay.

Uh, fuck. Uh...

I'm sorry. Is that... Does...

Does that mean
what I think it means?

- Are we done?
- Yeah, you know what?

I would, I would just say...

careful who you hitch
your wagon to, honey,

'cause a lot of wagons
are going in the ditch.

Right. Thanks, "honey."

You know, you'd actually
consider working with that

disingenuous little fuck
doll? He's not on the level, Lis.

Shiv, I am
unavailable to help you.

If for some reason that
changes, I'll let you know.

- Okay?
- Okay.

Wow. Well, thanks, pal.

- Any vibes?
- On what?

"On what?" On the whole,

"Is my dad going
to jail?" situation,

who's climbing Mount
Olympus to be the new Dr. Zeus.

Look at us here. Waiting.

So fucking... hot.

If it's you, you
think you're clean?

Yeah, obviously. There's
a bed through here

if you wanna give it a go.

The pipeline was still
sending cruise girls out west

when you were in
L.A. though, right?

Yeah, that was... mostly over.

There's deniability,
Frank thinks.

We essentially didn't
even actually know.

That's all on the...
the little guys and Mo.


What about the satellite
launch, accelerating it?

I'd lay you badly,
but I'd lay you gladly.

Can I remind you, Roman,
that so far as I am concerned

nothing has ever
happened between us

other than of a
professional nature.

Mm-hmm. Gotta be
curious though, right?

Young fighter in his prime.

Technically raw, but,
you know, hungry.

I am quite a successful
person, Roman,

and I remain so
by avoiding mess.

Mm-hmm. Well, we're
stuck in this room for...

I don't even know
how long. And, um...

no one would know.

Hey, Logan. Okay.


Okay, uh, well, um...
Okay. well...

Yes, yes.

Sure, I'll let him
know. I'll tell him.

Thank you.

-So? -It's me.

- Are you kidding?
- It's me.

- Are you kidding?
- I'm not kidding.

- It's actually you?
- It's me. Shiv blew it with Lisa.


Shit a pony. So, what, you're
like the boss of me now?

- Well...
- Congratulations, Gerri. That's, uh...

Yeah, that's great.

You fucking bitch.

It's just an administrative
position, largely, so...

You know, I might have swung
this for you, you know that?

- Well, thank you.
- Yeah.

Does Shiv know?

Can I tell her? I... I
think I should tell her.

I think it'd be nicer
coming from me.

- Yeah?
- Hey, yeah.

So, we lost Lisa? I
guess you fucked it?

Your friend doesn't like you?

Oh, also Gerri got the job.
He wanted me to tell you.

But I got a song
for you. It goes...

You know what? Change of plan.

- Hey, Rav? Rav?
- Yeah.

- Hey, I got more folks incoming.
- Yeah, yeah.

And, and also just, um...

as an FYI, is it cool if
Naomi Pierce comes up?

- Sure, is she the Pierce...
- She's the...

Yeah, you know, we
have a little thing...

- Yeah, yeah. Fine. I heard.
- Going.

It's not weird? She,
she's kind of good for me.

- No, sure. Yeah.
- Thank you.

- Look at us, huh? Huh?
- I know.

Also, I saw the razors, so...

- What?
- The razors in your bathroom?

- Whose are those?
- Wait... wh...

Why were you in my bathroom?

Because I don't like to drop
a deuce where the staff go.

Yeah. Oh, God. Ken, uh,
those don't actually mean...

- Oh, no? Male razors?
- What... no!

Uh, they're less expensive.

Oh, so I'm not giving
you enough money

for gender-appropriate
razors now?

Ken, I'm not having this
conversation right now.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

- This isn't that conversation.
- It's funny. Good.

- Hey, Ken.
- Yeah?

Uh, Lisa and Keith are here.

- Hey, Ken.
- Hey, hey, Team Genius!

- Thank you for coming.
- My pleasure.

Keith, Kendall. Please sit.

Uh, can I, can I
get you anything?

- No, I'm good. Thank you.
- You're good? You sure?

Rav, it'll just be
four or five hours.

- Uh, yeah, fine.
- Okay, hey. Here she is.

-Hi. -Hello.

Look what the Aegean dragged in.

Okay, I'm right in the middle...
So, I want to introduce you.

This is Rava. Rava, Naomi.

Hey. Hi.

So good to meet you.

And thank you for this.

Oh, yeah, no. Yeah, not at all.

I just gotta... I gotta...

- Me too. Hey, Greg, can you help, uh...
- Yeah?

- Naomi, I gotta... Yeah.
- Oh, yeah. Uh-huh.


He's still in Europe.
He's scared.

And it looks like my
dad's gone to Sarajevo.

Okay. So, I should,
um, make it clear

this is just a preliminary.

So, no confidential information.

Sure. Sure. Well, look,
what can I tell you?

Uh... my dad's the devil.

He runs a crime ring,
and I would love to hire you

because you're a super star

and I think you can
take down my dad,

and this will be the
case of the century

- and the highlight of your career.
- Okay. Okay.

- Well, that might be...
- I'm serious.

They'll make a movie about you.

We should make
a movie about you.

Mm-hmm. And how would that look?

It would look amazing,
because it would be brilliant!

Okay, look, this is quite a
complex situation to progress

because, as I understand it,
you want to take down your dad

- without implicating yourself?
- Correct.

And without damaging
the company to the extent

that you lose control at
your shareholder meeting?

- Correct.
- And you know that Shiv and I have had a friend relationship?

Yeah, well, that
might work out anyway.

Okay, well, that's for
you two, but first things.

Has the government
reached out to you yet?

Or have you received a
subpoena for the documents yet?

No, no. And look, to be clear,

I will do whatever
you tell me to do.

I am your puppet.

Okay. Well, in the first
instance, we need to make sure

you're in the clear with your
friends at one, Saint Andrew's.

- Right.
- So, first thing is to make sure

your head isn't on the
block, okay, puppet?

Lisa, I feel like
you're my lawyer!

Oh, for fuck's
sake! Greg! What the fuck?

- Be right back.
- Ken!

- Jess, can you...
- Yep.


- I'm so sorry.
- Yeah. I'm right here.

I'm sorry, did you not see
that there was dust all over the bottle?

- We okay?
- Did you not think to...

- No, it's fine.
- I really had no... I'm really sorry, Rava.

- It is fine.
- What?

That was one my
godfather gave me.

Naomi told me to open it, Ken.

-Oh. -And so I just...

- Well, I'm very sorry, Rava.
- I'm so sorry.

- Greg, that's not...
- Hi.

- Hey.
- Hey, ooh, sorry.

No, no, no. Guys,
drink it, enjoy it.

I don't want any
personally... -It's fine! It's good.

It's like when someone
breaks something beautiful

and it reminds you
that nothing lasts.

Enjoy it.

I'll get some napkins.

All these brilliant
fucking women, Greg.

- I mean...
- Hey, I must be doing something right.

- Right? Right?
- You are.

You're doing
everything right, man.

You are on top of the world.

Okay. Uh, I'll be
back in a flash.

All right, baby. Lisa Arthur,
you got my undivided attention.

- Where's Shiv?
- I'm trying.

Looks like the Gerri CEO
news might have leaked.

- And I got Simon on the board lined up.
- Uh-huh.

- Do you want a room?
- Yes, I want a fucking room!

I'm about to eat dick
for three hours straight,

so, yes, Hugo, I would
like a fucking room.


I don't need that.



Sure, well, whatever.

- What now?
- Nothing, tell you later.

- Go on, fucking say!
- It's not a big deal.

Lisa Arthur is going
to represent Kendall.



Let's get Layo.

We'll fucking beast 'em.

We'll go full fucking beast!