Succession (2018–…): Season 2, Episode 10 - This Is Not for Tears - full transcript

Mr. Logan Roy...

What did you know
about wrongdoing

in your cruise division
by means of the keeping

of shadow logs?

I believe my son was across
that operation.

It seems that a number
of documents were signed out

by a Gregory Hirsch.

Is that someone known
to you, Mr. Wambsgans?

Uh, no, no, sorry.

-No?
-No, Tom?

I need you to chase down
the Sovereign Wealth money.



You guys have the muscle
to take us private?

Yes.

Could you come to Turkey?
Pitch to me?

Are these terrorists?
And, um,

where's my fucking security guy?
Where's Dave?

You're the target
of another bid.

Isn't that a problem?

Not to make this all about us,

but are they going to shoot us
at any point?

You told me nothing
about you stepping aside.

You broke something here.

They have someone else
for a victim.

Could we find out
what she wants?

I'm not going in.



I'm out.
I don't want to be part of this.

You think we're through?

Not with the shareholders.
Time for a blood sacrifice.

Mr. Hirsch, please rise.

Raise your right hand.

Do you swear that the testimony

you're about to give
this committee

is the truth, the whole truth,
and nothing but the truth,

so help you God?

-I do.
-Please take a seat.

Senator Eavis, it's your time.

Gregory Hirsch,
executive assistant

to Tom Wambsgans, correct?

Yes.

Yes, if it is to be said.

I'm sorry?

Uh... If it is to be said,
so it be-- so it is.

Are you all right?

Uh... Yes.

Uh... I merely wish to answer
in the affirmative fashion.

You can speak to us normally.

Okay, no-- Thank you, sir.
Uh...

Uh... So I shall.

...be better than anyone else,

uh, if I may be so bold
as to declare.

- Really?
- No, absolutely...

So, what do you think?

Me?

If you added Karolina...

that's a decent bundle
of leadership meat

to feed the sharks.

Slippery cunt.

Knife your boss?

You're a nasty bastard,
aren't you?

Hey, you asked, Logan.

Is he safe?

Who?

Roman.

We got him a doctor, a shrink,
fresh clothes, we--

we got him everything he needs.

Oh, what?
Oh, no. No.

How's he fucking calling me
direct now?

-Sorry.
-I got his fucking message!

- No.
- I know. I--

Good to connect, Phillipe.
No, you stay.

I'm really sorry to bother you.

Oh... I've always got time
for my big shareholders.

I'm on my way to see Datu
in Venice.

He's very supportive.
Very bullish.

Uh-huh. That's great.

But I just wanted to check in,
because here's our position,

and I'm gonna summarize.

But obviously, no shareholder
ordinarily would back

a CEO facing the press
you're getting,

not to mention the litigation.

Well, of course, these aren't...
normal circumstances.

Uh... I'm a tough bastard,
but I invest.

I mean, you can't just flog
the fucking donkey

for a few more laps
and then let it die.

Yes... we've hit a squall...

but it's over...

I'm coming through...

and I hope you're joining
the party.

Great, but here's the thing,

and this is
strictly between us,

but we need some cover,
you know?

The cruise stuff,

congressional hearings,
this kid today.

Now, I want to vote your ticket
on the fundamentals.

I just need something to show
you get it.

Mm-hm. Yeah, well,
I gotta process. Uh...

you need a name?

Uh... Gerri? Karl? Frank?

Look, this is a hard call
to make, Logan,

but honestly,
this thing feels so toxic...

I've been taking soundings
and we...

we feel that probably
it should be you.

Uh-huh.

So, yeah. That's why I thought
I should be in touch.

Yeah. Right.

Well, let me think on that.

Let me think on that.

Thanks, Logan.

Not an easy call.
Not an easy one.

No. No, no, no. Sure, sure.
Yeah.

Let me think.

Bye.

I tell you what. Greg might be
talking himself onto your list.

Want a coffee?

I... I wanna...

You okay?

Guess I just felt
a little bit weird, you know,

leaving it all.

Ah, it's perfect.

Leave after opening night.
Return in triumph.

Yeah, I don't need to see
the reviews,

you know, I don't care.

Exactly. The play's brilliant.
Who cares what some...

old white dude
from The New York Times says?

Shoes off, baby.

I mean, they might like it.
They might love it.

Yeah.

Maybe we can read the reviews
in like a week or two.

Sure. I mean, obviously,
I have to read them

after Michelle sends
the roundup.

Because?

Because I'll have to find out
if I'm financially ruined.

- I'll go.
- Hey!

-First aboard.
-Hey.

Early worm catches
the best cabin.

- Hi!
- Port out. Starboard home.

Welcome to our city
on the water.

It's like Venice,

- but it smells nice.
- Thank you.

Thank you very much.
Looks delicious.

Hey. Is that her?

-No, stop asking. I'll tell you.
-Okay.

- You excited?
- Yeah-- Yeah!

I am-- no, uh-huh. Yeah.

Is this person-- Is she still
definitely into it?

Yeah. Oh, yeah.
No, she's all primed.

-Okay.
-Yeah, we Facetimed.

- She's lovely.
- Okay.

'Cause you seem a little...

No! No, it's great. It's great.
It's-- It's the dream. I mean...

It is. Threesome. It's amazing.

- Ew! Is this Marcia's refit?
- Wow. Yeah.

It's like her version
of cutting up his ties.

No, because I want you to see
the benefits of the arrangement.

No! Yes, thank you! Thank you.

And it's really,
really exciting.

It's, uh-- But do you not think
that with the--

with the family...

all around,
it might be a little--

I mean, why are we here?
What is this?

Well, idea was
a family mini break.

Post-Congress,
pre-shareholder meet. You know.

Like, close family,
and inflatables, and mimosas,

and the CFO,
and the general counsel.

Yeah, you know,
vacation's not a vacation

without
the chief financial officer.

Yeah.

Like, I just keep thinking
about things I wish I said

to the senators.
Like, I almost wish

I just started out with,
like, "No woman, no cry."

Like, what if I said,
"No woman, no cry"

-to every single question?
-Right.

Or, like,
"I volunteer as tribute."

What do you think?
You like it?

Uh-huh.

"Uh-huh"?

-No, it's--
-Just "Uh-huh"?

No, n-- No, it's nice.

I feel like it's a little more
than "Uh-huh."

You-- You have, uh,
reservations?

No, du-- No, it's great--
I mean, it's a very nice ship.

It's definitely a big ship.
Um...

All right, well,
Marcia had it refitted

so you gotta take
your shoes off.

Shoes off? Uh... I might not.

Oh. No. That's the one rule
on these things, man.

Teak deck, no shoes.

Uh... What if--
What if your toenails

are not
all that aesthetically pleasing?

Sails out, nails out, bro.

Hmm?

Hey, uh, apparently--
Have you heard this?

-What?
-I'm a GIF now!

One of the Conheads
sent it in.

-I'm a meme.
-You're a meme?

Yeah. I got memed. Ha!

Oh, the Conheads
are loving this.

You know, this is really all
very, very positive.

Whoa!

-Okay. Mother lode.
-What?

Full bundle just came in
from PR Michelle.

Oh, God, I can't bear it.
Okay, go ahead.

I'll just look at your face
and I'll get them that way.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Is that goodie?
- Did you read a goodie?

Oh, fuck it! Just tell me.
Come on. How are they?

Uh... A mixture.

Okay, well, read me one.
Read me one good one.

-Okay. Okay.
-Right.

Well, what did The Times say?

Oh, baby, you know what?
Let's just have a good time,

and then, you know,
when we're ready for a laugh--

-Come on, let me take a look.
-You know, why don't we just--

Just give me... the thing.
Just stop.

-Where-- Where is it?
-It's-- No. Here.

Just-- Just ignore
the headline, okay?

Disregard that because--

Here they are,
the heroes of Asia. Asia Minor!

The lions of Turkey!

Roar. Hi.

- Good to see you, man.
- You look like shit.

- Welcome back, man.
- Yup.

Back like Odysseus.
Did you ride out on sheep?

Yeah, I heard you took
down an army alone, bro.

That would
have been really traumatizing

if you weren't already
so fucked up.

Who'd
you suck off to get out?

You were staying
at a Four Seasons, right?

So how did you escape?
Did you--

Did you, like, build a glider

out of a Caesar salad?

Uh... You know what? Uh...
It was actually fucking scary,

and we thought that
they might kill us, but yeah.

"Caesar salad."

-Sorry, dude. Seriously.
-No, it's all right.

Uh... Yeah, yeah. You know,
they raped me a little,

but I'm no hero.

Parentheses,
I'm an incredible hero.

-Sorry, bro.
-Yeah. It's fine--

It's fine. I'm... tired,
or whatever. It was funny.

Karl almost shat in a bucket,
and I have it on my phone,

so we will fully humiliate him
later.

Oh, good. Yeah, excellent.
Yeah, do that. That's, uh...

-That'll be great.
-I will tell you one thing.

I could use one
of those fucking cold beers.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

So, how'd it all go,
business wise?

- Or did that get forgotten?
- Oh, y--

Uh... We can't say too much
about that.

Oh! Okay, promising.

Well, it's confidential,
but the kid did good.

- Hey. That's fantastic.
- Okie-doke.

- Hey.
- Nice.

- Yeah. Thanks. Thank you.
- Glad you're okay.

Rome, how you doin', buddy?

-You good?
-Swell.

So, go on. You haven't
told me yet. How was DC?

What, uh, the hearings?

Mm-hm.

Uh... Yeah. Pretty fucking real.

Yeah. I watched.
You did good.

Okay. What?

Go on. "F-- For a crack head...
moron on crack."

Mm... No.

No, you did okay.

Yeah, Ken nailed it.

- Thanks.
- Ken did great.

It was Tom who farted
in his shit.

You know, a lot of people
are saying I was deadcatting.

They saying that? Really?

"Deadcat."
You never heard of that?

- No.
- Well...

Dead cat on the table.

Suddenly, everyone's looking
at the dead cat,

and not talking--
talking about your dad.

Right. No, no, you drew--

-you drew the fire. Yeah.
-Thank you.

So, what's the thinking?
Rhea's out, right?

Uh-huh. Rhea's out.

Melted. But she's agreed
to not say anything publicly

until after the shareholder
meeting, so...

Okay, so,
then instead of Rhea...

whose big, hairy foot's
gonna fit in the glass slipper?

Washington Ken?

Me? Uh... No. Nope.

I mean, Rome.

- If you brought the goose home.
- Maybe.

Could be anybody.
I mean, why is Greg here?

I always ask that question.

Hey, Greg. You ready to step up?

Uh... It's a fungus, they think.

Benign fungus.

Great title for your memoir.

- What's that?
- A Benign Fungus.

That her?

-Yeah.
-Yes?

She's grossed out a little.

I did think...

when I thought, you know,
they were gonna...

vacuum out my innards

and fill me with concrete
or something...

Look, if we come through this...

is there a thing
where we like...

talk to each other
about stuff...

normally?

You wanna
talk to each other normally?

Okay.

- You mean...
talk about the big shit?
Okay.

Yeah, we can talk about
the big shit.

We can talk about...

our feelings.

How am I the mature one here?

We don't have any feelings,

what are you talking about?

Who is this helping?

Okay.
Emotional gunship incoming.

Yeah,
send out the distress signal.

We're under attack.

- Hey! Welcome.
- Hey, Dad!

Hi! Hi, hi, hi. Hi.

- Hey. Hey.
- Here he is.

Hey!

Roman. Laird. Karl.
Business.

So...

- are you okay?
- Yeah.

-I heard it got a bit tasty.
-Nyeah. We're fine.

I've had worse experiences
at hotels.

I once stayed at a Marriott.

They look after you?
I spoke to the White House.

Yeah, they said they sent
a warship, but I don't know,

I think it was already there.

Then the ambassador took us out
for a shitty lunch

and someone from the agency gave
us the ol' Merlot waterboard.

So... on the money.

What's the situation?

Well, the kid did great.

I think, Mr. Roy,
you can take your firm private.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Eduard and his father
have titular responsibility

for the sovereign wealth,

but the president's
daughter's husband, Zeynal,

is the key guy now,

and Roman...
slam dunked it.

Uh... Well, it was clear that
Eduard was getting sidelined,

and then Zeynal figured out
who we were.

I thought we were gonna get
taken for a fucking...

chainsaw massage,
but... no.

We got an hour, pitched hard,
and yeah, they say they want in.

Too modest; he killed.

You should put a gun to his head
more often.

The Azeris say they can put in
ten bil.

Laird can put together the rest,

and the exit horizon's
like six years.

And you... like it, Jaime?

Yeah. Yeah, I like it.

I think they can move fast
and, uh...

this sort of situation's
all about relationships.

Well, that's--
that's great.

That's fucking fantastic.

You can tell your spooked
shareholders to go whistle.

Um...

I do have to say one thing, Dad.

Uh-huh.

Uh... Roman, we're good.

I mean...

I did have a good conversation
with Zeynal,

and he said, with his mouth,

that he wanted in
and that's all great.

But if this is really serious
for us,

I think I actually do have
to say it feels like it is...

probably horse shit.

Uh... Come, come, kiddo.

They were flaky.

There was a lot
of shit going on.

Roman...

um, they want
to rebalance their portfolio.

- Mm-hm.
- Um...

Uh, for a variety
of geopolitical reasons,

uh, they're
heavily European-focused

and he wants to tilt
Western Hemisphere.

Uh... It's very logical. I know
that it's-- it's a lot of money

and that can be scary, but it--
it makes sense.

Well, sorry for worrying
my pretty, little head,

but if they're rebalancing
their portfolio,

it's fucking insane to do it
with one ten-bil mega-deal

rather than a ton spread
across different sectors.

They said yes, Roman.

Well, sure,
they said yes.

And maybe it's real. Maybe.

There's a ten
to 20 percent chance

that you make what,
like, 100 million here?

That's very exciting.
But if we miss,

we could be fucked,
because it gets out

we're looking at this kind
of money,

it's going to be
politically horrible.

If we fail...

we lose the proxy vote
and we die. Right?

If it falls halfway through...

it's terminal.

But if it works,
one bound and you're free.

Son?

Dad, I have to say,

I've done a little bullshitting
in my time.

He was a cokey, bullshit,
3:00 a.m. scotch

and see-you-in-the-morning man.
He ain't showing up.

Laird, be fucking honest.

He was bleating to Karl.
His contacts are all dying,

and he's gonna get shoved aside
as the senior advisor

unless he pulls major gravy
this year.

I don't even know what to say
to that.

Then don't say anything.

Dad, I wish it was real.
I really fucking do, but...

Karl.

You can't lean on this.
Not now.

Yeah, but if you don't get this,
your other option is what?

I'm sorry, Jaime.
Keep exploring, keep talking,

but I cannot pile my chips
on something that isn't solid.

Ah, that is just excellent.

You are way off, Roman.

And thank you, Karl.

I hope you enjoy
the king's favors,

because you know
what you're looking at

if you don't go private.

-Laird--
-Someone has to pay the price.

Uh... Maybe you, Roman,
or maybe one of your siblings.

I suppose you'll have
a fun little time

ruining a life. SEC...

DOJ...
Foreign and Corrupt Practices.

Someone's getting
tossed out of the balloon

and someone is likely going
to jail.

So, goodnight, ladies.

Goodnight... sweet ladies.

And good luck.

Hey.

How'd that go?

I think maybe not the solution.

So, it's gonna get, uh...

choppy.

I can't fucking believe it.

Me?

I never did anything really.

A good Catholic lad who couldn't
even take his undershirt off

in front of his wife.

His ex-wife,
whatever the fuck she is.

Me.

All the rest behave like a pack
of fucking stray dogs.

No.

You know, Stewy's in Greece.

Ah, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No. No. No, son. No. No, I...

Fucking been there.

Oh... shit!

Okay, okay. Get out of the way!

Okay.

I don't know if I want to.

Hey.

So... I hear, uh...

- private's off, right?
- Okay! Ready?

Just didn't trust them
in the end.

I can't explain why.

'Cause you're a bit racist?

I didn't think so, but there's
always that possibility.

It's bad. It's very, very bad.

Hey, Greg.
What are you drinking?

Uh... This is... I'm not sure.
It's a-- It's a rosé.

It's not my favorite.

Ooh, you got a favorite
champagne now.

Well... you can't help noticing.

It's fine. I'll drink it.
It's just not my favorite.

Well, you better drink up,
brother, because...

if you end up carrying the can
for cruises,

you'll be back to drinking milk
from a saucer.

We're going private.

-Deal's off.
-What?

There's gonna be a head
on a spike.

Hey, Pa.

Uh... A quick one, not a biggie.

Um...

I need some help on reviews.

-The play?
-Yeah.

Just a spritz of praise.

Some poster toppings.

The Chronicle or The Herald,
just, uh...

could you lean a little bit?

You know, something like--
Not this, but something like,

"Kill for a ticket,"

or "The theatrical event
of the season."

I do not like to lean
on my people.

Oh, come on.

I mean, you brought down
a Canadian government

over grain subsidies,
you can't give me

-one fucking lousy review?
-Hey. Hey, easy!

I hear you jizzed 500K
on a fake Napoleon dick.

That's irrelevant. Look, Pa,
I'm-- I'm actually hurtin' here.

It's a half a mil a week.
I've got Austerlitz,

I've got my campaign,
and I'm not super liquid,

so I'm just...

I'm just wondering
if I could hit you for like...

like, uh... a little 100 mil.

-A little 100 mil?
-Yeah.

Well, you know, maybe. Maybe.

But you have to quit
your campaign.

Wha-- Pa, no.
I got a whole team.

Just to financially indicate
sound judgment, good intentions.

I'm floating policy, I got
feelers, I got the Conheads--

It's a horseshit pipe dream.

Everybody thinks you're a joke.

And you're
fucking embarrassing me.

Right. Right.

Thanks for your honesty.

Pull the plug
and we'll get into it all.

But now,
I got bigger fish to fry.

- Uh-huh. Nice. Lovely.
- So, hey, uh, listen up.

I just wanted to say there are
a lot of whispers going around,

but I'm not going to make
an announcement tonight.

I wanna do the best thing,
the most decent thing,

so, uh, tomorrow,
we'll get into a discussion

about our missteps and...

how we can indicate how sorry
we are to the rest of the world.

Okay?
We're all pals here. Right?

So... tonight, drink up.

And tomorrow,
we'll figure it out.

Thank you. Thank you.

So,
someone's getting shitcanned.

Let's get the party started.

So, Willa,

-how's the play going?
-Fuck off!

How are you feelin'?

Sick, anxious.

Why is he doing it like this
do you think?

How do you mean?

"We're all pals here."

"Let's have a discussion."
Like he suddenly wants our views

'cause he loves advice.

-He's running a show trial.
-Mm-hm.

You get the whole politburo
to sign the death warrant,

then all our hands are bathed
with blood.

Aw, that's nice and lovely.

Ooh, no reception. Death cruise?

Who are you thinking?

-You know what?
-What?

Frank!

I hear it's gonna be you.

Yeah, screw you.

- What have you heard?
- I got a book going.

Want to put a million
on yourself?

I'll give you four-to-one odds.

Make that ride home
much sweeter.

Okay, are we-- What exactly
are we hearing here?

I'm hearing Frank.

-Uh-huh.
-Yeah.

What do you mean, "Uh-huh"?
He's bullshitting.

Well, it's plausible.

It's plausible.
You're plausible.

Hey, I didn't say I wasn't.

No, you're actually
a prime candidate. Six-to-one.

This-- This-- This is horrible.
Roman, we're real people.

You are not.

You claim to be real,
but look at ya. Look at ya!

- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.

- Cool shades, bro.
- Uh-huh.

Your shorts match your rosé.
Was that planned

-or just a... Yeah.
-All right. I'm coming.

So.

When were you gonna ask?

Naomi? I-- I did. I--
I asked Kerry to send word to...

No?

Um... I mean, yeah. I, uh...

I like her, Dad.

And, uh...

thought it could be
a rough weekend and...

I know there's history, but...

I mean, she's-- she's...

kind of a good one for me, Dad.

Right.

I wasn't properly informed.

And I'm just not sure
we have enough provisions.

I found her a great support

-in DC--
-I need privacy for everything.

-Yeah, she gets it.
-For everything.

Yeah, I know. She'll--
She'll stay out of the way.

I-- I mean, she's great.
I mean...

I just don't want you
fucked on drugs.

And she's part of it. Isn't she?

Should I... do the knock
and invite her up?

Well, I...

I mean, right? Yeah?

-Yeah?
-Yeah. Yeah!

- Okay.
- Okay.

There is kind of...

kind of death-sentence vibes,
but, uh... yeah. It's good.

Okay.

I wonder-- I wonder if there is
something we could do.

Um... I don't know if I have
the vim for the full dirty.

-So, we...
-Oh!

But we could, um...

What?

Come on, you can say.

Could I watch?

-I mean--
-Oh, yeah!

Or even better.
Could she watch us?

Uh... Yeah. She could--

-She-- She could watch us.
-Yeah.

-Kind of sexy, huh?
-I mean, I would have to...

see if she's-- But it's...

-Yeah. Like, I-- I mean...
-Fine.

...I'm sure I will,
'cause it's so hot.

But there is a chance...

Just a health warning.
There's a chance

that I might-- I might not
be able to...

perform.

-Because I can't-- I don't know.
-Oh, Tom, no.

Probably because I haven't done
a stadium gig before.

Honey, you'll be fine.

We'll help you.

Or she could not watch.
We could put her in the bathroom

and she could look through
the keyhole.

Uh...

Tom, I feel like you're turning
our threesome into a twosome.

Huh.

I just-- I'm sorry. I'm sorry,
honey. I just don't-- I've...

I don't know how...

I don't feel
that naughty tonight.

Uh... Okay. That's fine.

-Yeah, I just thought we could--
-Sorry.

-No. No, no, no. I thought
it would be something...
-No, it's--

...that we could do that
would be exciting for us.

-No, it's--
-That's okay.

Uh... It's good, 'cause I have
to go and talk to Dad anyway

about tomorrow, so...

Hey. Did she come?

Ah.

Ah.

Come with me.

I-- I just, um...

It's a big time.

Yeah, no, of course.

Nay, come on. This--
This is like...

objectively a crisis.

I'm sorry. I am.

He loves me.
He-- He-- He-- He does,

I think it's just a wrong kind
of love expression.

Yeah.
Ken, he loves the broken you.

That's what he loves.

Maybe I'll meet you there.

Maybe.

Hi.

-Hi.
-Good morning, sir.

May I offer you something
to drink?

I will take a full bottle
of Burgundy.

- Certainly.
- Please. Thank you.

For breakfast, Con?

Well, yes, for breakfast.
Why not?

All right. Um...

Let's have a swim or relax,
and then... we can chat.

I don't know how relaxing
a time

I'm personally going
to be able to have, but sure.

Well, it's not gonna be you,
man, so you can chill.

Yeah, I know, but I don't know
what he has in mind.

- What do you have in mind?
- Enough. Okay?

We stick together.

Most things don't exist.

The Ford Motor Company
hardly exists.

It's just
a time-saving expression

for a collection
of financial interests.

But... this exists, because...

- "Family."
- ...it's a family.

We are a family.

So... I think...

I think the obvious choice...

is me.

So, that's what I'd like
to announce.

No. No, you can't.

Well, you know, I may not be
responsible,

but the buck has to stop
somewhere.

- No.
- No, never. Never.

No, no, no, no, no.

Not in the middle
of a proxy fight.

I don't think so, Dad.
I don't think so. No.

I mean, maybe a--
maybe a timetable,

but actually go doesn't work.

When people find Rhea
isn't coming in,

we need stability.

Yeah, yeah. You may be right.

I need one meaningful skull
to wave.

If the shareholders' meeting
were tomorrow, we lose.

I need to persuade
a couple of big figures.

So...

anyone like to say anything?

I'll take care
of whoever it is.

No one will be forgotten.

Well, I mean, I--
If we're doing this,

I don't want to spread shit
around.

We're all loyal servants,
but, so, I-- I only say

without malice aforethought,
presumably general counsel

is center of the web.
Sorry, Gerri. I like you.

There is no one
more loyal than Gerri.

Exactly. What about Frank?

I mean, how come
Frank is even here today?

-Thank you.
-You're welcome.

I could see it. I'd take it.

- I make sense.
- Right?

And after what he did to you,
the boardroom coup?

- Water under the bridge.
- Right. In which case...

I guess, in a certain way,

my-- my... indiscretion
against the family,

I would say objectively,

makes me less
of a compelling sacrifice,

is the only thing I would say.
Unlike... uh... for instance...

a loyal servant like Karl.

Uh-huh. Uh... I--

-Thank you, Frank, for that.
-Mm-hm.

Uh... Well, my thing, I guess,
is that if, uh, Rhea is no more,

sadly, uh,
we're back to having, uh--

we're back to Gerri
as named successor.

So, that fattens her up
for the kill, so to speak.

I guess everyone knew
I was always

just a name on a piece of paper.
Right?

Oh... I think you were
always more than that.

- I think that's exactly--
- And plus-- well, hang on.

Plus, you know,
the old copy book

is a bit blotty.
Expense accounts,

daughters first class
on the company coin.

- Right, Karl.
- Y-- Yeah.

"I just went
for the sports massage.

I had no idea it was that sort
of establishment."

- Okay.
- Karl sounds good.

- Mm-hm.
- Sausage thief.

You know, Gerri is theoretically
kind of perfect.

Hear, hear.

Uh... No, "theoretically."

No, that's bullshit. I disagree.

- No.
- Why?

Why do I disagree?
Because that's my opinion.

Yeah, but your reasoning?

Seriously, Gerri?
To pay for cruises?

We-- We take out a senior woman?

Haven't we, you know,

kidding here,
killed enough women already?

I mean, I think
the obvious choice is,

and I hate to say it
because he's such a swell guy,

is...

Tom.

- Excuse me?
- Yeah.

Right? I know, but you know,
head of cruises.

But I-- Well...

-I have been a loyal servant.
-Yeah, but,

you know, if--
If this is, uh...

just laboratory time,
human emotions extracted,

Tom, I fucking love you, dude,

but you shat the bed
over Mo Lester.

But I was sent in there
as the beating--

as the fucking beating man.
I took the beating.

You got suckered in by Eavis.

-I answered the questions.
-You don't answer the questions.

You don't answer the questions.

Okay, that's, like, rule one.

I'm-- I'm not beating up on you
here.

I'm just saying,
he got a win off you

and you're kind of the face
of this, and...

I don't know.
Look, I'm saying this,

but I don't believe it.
I'm just-- I'm saying it,

because this is the time
we're all saying things.

Yeah, I think, uh, Tom works.
Just kind of a clarity, I think.

- Yeah.
- You know.

Anyone care to speak
to my qualities?

-No, Tom looks logical.
-What?

- Cruises. Document destruction.
- What?

I'm not saying
that it should be.

I mean, I-- I'm saying,
you're like family,

which is good, but also not...
family, which is kinda good.

Tom, it's the elephant
in the room, we can say that.

No, we can't. There's no need
to say the elephant in the room.

There are 15 other elephants
in the room.

Tom, the testimony, you--

- you kind of put a target
on yourself.
- Why shouldn't it be you?

- If it should be me, why--
why shouldn't it be you?
I've never even been in--

I'm not attacking you,
I'm defending you.

Well, it doesn't feel like that.
It doesn't feel like that.

Okay. Fine. How do I work?

I don't know! I don't know.

I'm just-- I'm not saying you.
I'm just saying.

I mean, I guess
if we were saying Shiv,

we'd highlight witness tampering
and, uh,

you know, that she was
gonna take over, but...

I don't know, it probably--
it probably doesn't work.

Uh... Yeah. Too right
it doesn't fucking work.

I don't make sense.
I've never been inside.

What about both of them?
Shiv and Tom.

Beauty and the beast.

Does Tom work?

Honestly, Tom...

I don't think he's
a big enough skull. No offense.

Then how about Tom with some
fucking Greg sprinkles?

What? Greg sprinkles?

Yeah, just a party pack.
You as a sweetener.

Yeah. Yeah.

Elmo and Big Bird,
I could start to see that.

- And then you throw in, like,
a Karl, or a Frank, or a Ray.
- Okay.

Yeah, yeah. No, no. Why not?

Oh, these are just examples.

No, of course.
Yeah, no, just go ahead,

-worked for you for 23 years.
-What-- What precisely

- are Greg sprinkles?
- Greg sprinkles

are basically
a fantastic garnish

to basically anyone seated
at this table.

-Okay.
-Like a Tom sundae with a--

with a little Greg cherry
on top.

- Perfect.
- Oh. No, I object.

I really do. I-- I mean...

- Who cares?
- I'm more than a sprinkle.

You know? What about you?

-What about Roman?
-What about me?

Let's hear it. What's the pitch?

You're widely known
as a horrible person.

Thanks, toe jam,
why don't you...

It could be Roman.

There's another elephant
in the room.

But what about I just
throw myself over the side?

- Huh?
- Didn't see that coming.

Yeah, in return
for a little payout.

I'm cash strapped,
so just strap me

into that sweet, sweet
golden parachute

and toss me in the volcano.

Uh... I'm sorry. I just don't--
I don't see that.

Like, look, okay, you say,
you know, eminence grise.

-What?
-So, uh, old Richelieu here,

uh, skulking around
in the background,

pulling the strings
all these years. Who knew?

The maligned influencer
finally rid of.

That's, um, that's kind of you,
Con.

Thank you. And, uh...
we'll bear it in mind.

Yeah, so I, uh...

I need to reflect.

I mean, we've, uh...

half an idea, but, uh... Yeah.

Later?

What's-- What? We have half
an idea? What's a half an idea?

-Ken. Can I get one word?
-Yeah, sure.

What's up?

Are we okay?

I told her she was welcome,
but, uh...

-she's on a hair trigger.
-Oh. Yeah, I don't know.

She, um...

She just... I don't know.

Is Stewy available?

Okay, um...

I think so. He's on Paxos. Yeah.

It might be... humiliating.

Yeah, sure.

But what I ought to do,
I don't wanna do.

No, not this one.
I don't like it.

You don't like it?
What's wrong with this one?

- I can see a sea urchin.
- Oh, come on! Tom!

Next cove, please, Julius.

There are infinite coves.
Let's find the perfect one.

Thanks for meeting, man.

Please. Please, please, please,

come, come, come, sir.

How are you, sir?
Please, take a seat.

You guys need anything?

Yeah, don't wait for us
or anything.

I waited,
but I was really hungry.

You guys good?
You guys need anything?

Uh... Maybe in a minute.

Well, uh... look.

We both know...

it's a-- it's a knife's edge.

You may have it. We may have it.

Our proxy advisors tell us
we probably have it.

-Mm-hm.
-And, um...

Dad?

You look a little sweaty, dude.

Okay. Okay.

So, I've come to make a deal.

This isn't a negotiation.
It's a one-bang,

final-deal offer
and it's generous.

So... don't insult me
with a counter.

I say this, we eat some octopi,

we shake hands. Okay?

Okay, I love that. I really do.

Three board seats,
including Ken's.

You get a codified say

in the appointment
of our next CEO.

We remove our poison pill,

conduct a strategic review
on terms co-set with you,

dismiss all our litigation
on the proxy battle.

Spin off cruises. Okay?

No, I don't think that works.

- The fuck do you mean?
- Bullshit.

Are you fucking stupid?

You have to consider that.

You have to ask Sandy.

-That is a good fucking deal.
-It does not work for us, sir.

Dude. I mean, are--
are you fucking for real?

I mean, you-- you need
to fucking make it work.

Okay? Or I will personally
fucking destroy you.

- I will come to you at night...
- Ken, it does not work

-for u--
-...with a fucking razor blade

and I will cut

-your fucking dick off.
-Fucking dick off.

- And I will feed it--
- And then push it up your cunt

until poo poo pops out
of my nose hole.

Dude, it doesn't matter.
It doesn't mean anything.

You can threaten to stuff
a million severed dicks

into my ball bag,
but the actual fact is,

we're persuading more
and more shareholders every day

that we offer them
just a slightly better chance

for them to make a little bit
more money

on their fucking dollar,
and that's all that this is.

You wanna talk?

Why would I wanna talk?

Fine.

You fucking...

You fucking toasted me, Shiv.

You-- You fried me.

Tom...

I have to be an honest broker.

To save you, I can't be seen
to be acting in self-interest.

I got shitty advice
before the hearing, Shiv.

You know,
I don't know about that.

I got hung out to dry.

I love you.

Uh-huh. Great. Thanks.

No?

I don't know. I love you.
I love this rock.

Bye, rock.

You're dead. What does it mean?

I won't let anything happen
to you.

You told me...

You told me you wanted
an open relationship...

on our fucking wedding night.

Is... Uh... Y...

So, you've been stewing on that?

Well, yes.

I have been stewing on that,
actually.

I'm not... a hippie... Shiv.

I don't want...

to stuff a dildo up my--
I don't want--

I don't want to do threesomes.

-Okay.
-On our wedding night?

Bang!

Shanghaied into a--
into a...

open-borders free-fuck
trade deal.

It--

-It was just an idea.
-Well...

that's-- that's a biggie
just to throw in at the altar.

You know? "I do. I do,
but I do maybe also demand

to gobble the odd side-dick."

"Gobble the odd side-dick"?

I don't think it was cool
what you did.

I just-- I think, you know...

I think a lot of time,
if I think about it,

I think a lot of time,
I'm really pretty unhappy.

What are you saying?

I don't know.

I love you, I do. I just, uh...
I wonder if...

I wonder if the sad I'd be...
without you

would be less than the sad
I get from being with you.

Well, I'm s-- I'm...

I'm sorry, Tom.

I'll talk to Logan.

No.

I'll talk to Logan.

It's fine.

I'm fine.

Hey.

You okay, Tom?

What the fuck?

Thank you, Logan.

- Tom?
- Thank you for the chicken.

What the fuck was that?

I-- I don't know. I think, uh...

it's getting to people, Dad.
The tension.

He ate my fucking chicken.

-Mm-hm.
-So, what next?

Stick his cock
into my potato salad?

Uh...

You, uh... You wavering?

Documents and cruises.

Mm.

Maybe... Tom.

Gerri.

Or Greg instead.

Okay.

Tom.

I'll take care of him.

Would he flip?

Prison time?

Uh...

Why not... you know...
what we discussed?

Ken works.

He was across the whole thing.

It hurts.

It plays.

Obviously.

I just...

think that, uh,
Tom doesn't deserve it...

and, uh, it doesn't work
for the rest of the world.

I don't.

So...

What do you think?

Uh...

It's the sort of tough choice
people need to be able to make.

People who would be
very senior people.

I can't choose, Dad.

No.

No.

Just not, um...

Just not Tom.

Please. For me.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, son.

I can't do any more of that shit
from this morning.

No. No, sure. I bet.

Greg...

Tom...

Doesn't work. Won't add up.

Right. No, I see that.

And they won't accept me.

Mm-hm...

I get it. I do.

You know, uh...

Marcia and I
used to read to each other.

I'd read her history.

You know, Spengler, Gibbon,
the big boys.

-Uh-huh.
-Okay.

The Incas...

in times of terrible crisis...

would sacrifice a child
to the sun.

I said to her they were
a bunch of fucking savages.

- Mm-hm.
- Her thing was...

what could you possibly kill
that you love so much...

it would make
the sun rise again?

She said that.

Okay.

I miss her.

It's okay, Dad. It's okay.

Thank you. Thank you, son.

The hearings...

you did so well.

But now...

you're the face.

You were across the clean-up.

The optics make sense.

And what's more...

I trust you.

I trust you in case it turns
or...

-gets... nasty.
-Yep. Yep. No, I get it.

So, uh...

we'll set up a press conference.

And, uh...

you'll admit that
you knew everything

and that you directed
the cover up,

and, uh... it went no higher.

-Mm-hm. Okay.
-Okay?

Hey, Dad, I...

just out of interest, um...

Did you ever think
I could do it?

Do what?

The top job?

Oh, I don't know. Maybe.

You can say.

I-- Well, you know, I just...

You know, you're smart,
you're good, but I...

I just don't know.

What? Come on.

You're not a killer.

You have to be a killer.

But...

nowadays...

maybe you don't. I don't know.

Okay?

-Are we good? You good?
-Yeah.

I deserve it.

Maybe I deserve it.

-Oh, no, son.
-Yeah, for everything.

No, no, no. God, no.

It's good to pay?

The boy?

Nah...

Nah, nah, nah, nah. Not that.

NRPI. You're the best.

Don't beat yourself up.

No real person involved.
You know, it's...

it's nothing.

Right.

Shall we?

Gerri, we've been on
a million of these things...

It's a nice color.

Yeah. I know, it's really...

I've decided.

Ken?

Come on, really? Dad, no.

There's...

What about the...

one of the... shitfuckers?

Hey, it's okay.
Guys, you're off the hook.

You okay?

Yeah. I'm good.

And... is it just...

I don't want to be rude.
Just him?

Uh... Yeah, are there
any additionals...

First-- Second-born son...

with your responsibilities,
it will be a very simple sell.

Roman...

you're taking over
as full chief operating officer.

Oh, yeah?
What with... fucking...

Captain Cautious back
in the next room?

No, no.
Frank's gonna be responsible

for the cruises clean up.
You're on your own.

Solo.

Can you handle it?

Well, yeah.

Yeah, Dad, that's...

...really exciting.

No, Rome. It's great.

Okay, guys, eat up.
This one's on me.

You okay, dude?

You know, if you need to use
the bathroom...

you can use the bathroom.

I'm not gonna jump
out the window.

Yeah, I'll go.

Yeah, I just, uh...

Just for what it's worth,
I'm sorry about this whole--

I-- I just think what your dad's
doing is...

-Anyway, I'm sorry.
-Yep. Thank you.

Okay.

You okay, Ken?

There's water by the side
if you need it.

I'm gonna let them hit
like three questions

and then that's it. Okay?

Your dad just texted.
He's watching.

- Hey.
- Hey.

You okay?

Yeah.

Just, uh... just can't eat.

No.

It's okay, Shiv.

It's okay.

It had to be done.

Yeah. Poor bastard.

Good morning.

Mr. Roy has a prepared statement
he'd like to read.

And then, he'll take
a few questions. Thank you.

Good morning.

I have an announcement
to make...

about wrongdoing
at Waystar Royco

in advance of the upcoming
shareholder meeting.

I have been asked to explain
my own role

in the managing of illegality
at the firm

and associated cover ups.

And it has been suggested
I would be a suitable figure

to absorb the anger and concern.

But...

the truth is that my father
is a malignant presence...

...a bully, and a liar...

and he was fully personally
aware of these events

for many years and made efforts
to hide and cover up.

He had a twisted sense
of loyalty to bad actors

like Lester McClintock...

Fuck me.

...and a disregard for
the safety of migrant workers,

non-union and union workers

and for vulnerable performers
and guests.

My father keeps a watchful eye
over every inch

of his whole empire,

and the notion
that he would have allowed

millions of dollars
in settlements

and compensation to be paid
without his explicit approval...

is utterly fanciful.

I have with me, today,
copies of records...

that show his personal sign off.

How much those of us
who executed his wishes

bear responsibility
is for another day.

But I think...

this is the day his reign ends.

I'll be providing the documents
and can answer any questions

you may have in the coming days.
Thank you very much.

Mr. Roy!

Do you have anything to say
to the victims of these crimes?

Did your father know you were
making this statement today?

-Mr. Roy.
-Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!