Succession (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 6 - Which Side Are You On? - full transcript

-(|ND|ST|NCT CHATTER)
-(CAMERA CLICKING)

This is fucking impressive.
You hooked this shit up, friend.

Hey, brother. ljust wanna say,
you killed that shit.

My man. Absolutely killed that.
For sure.

What's up, bro? Good to see you.

You're fuckin' imperial
right now, okay?

I think American Diablo
is your best album.

Thanks, guys. Much obliged.

All right, man. All right.

Are we supposed to follow him?

-What's gonna happen?
-KENDALL: Uh, just be cool.



So, this guy's your boy, right?

Yeah. Hey, listen,
can I talk to you about something?

-Mmm-hmm. Sure.
-Uh...

Oh, here she comes. What's up?

JESS: So, he'sjust
decompressing, apparently,

but he's really down to connect.

-Oh, yeah, he's decompressing?
-Mmm-hmm.

What, from his voyage to the bottom
of the fuckin' rap ocean?

-His show was a shitty show.
-(LAUGHS)

Look, the label
got a room for you guys.

-Right here.
-l'm sorry, what's your name?

-Jess.
-Jess. Sorry.

Can you just remind him
he's the guy that owns the company

that owns the company
that owns the label,



-that pays his fucking ass?
-Absolutely.

Yeah, just don't say those words.

Oh, my gosh, look at this.
Shrimp, huh? Look at this.

Warmed in this airless box for, like,
what, let's say, six hours?

And is this goo?
Is this delicious fucking goo?

Look at that. Mmm.

So, listen, I need to,
uh, say something,

but once I've said it,
I'll have said it,

and while it's not a big deal,
it's delicate.

What is it? You fucked the company?

-I haven't fucked the company.
-Uh-huh.

Scientology? What is it?

Look, we're friends,
we go back, I can trust you.

-Right?
-No.

Sure, but on money stuff,
I can trust you?

No.

Because, um, we're calling
a vote of no confidence on my dad.

-What the fuck, man...
-lt's the best way fon/vard right now.

Oh, my God. This is fucking terrible.

Bro, you're gonna fuck the company.
You're fucking with my money, Ken.

Look, I'm telling you,
it's just cleanest. He's lost it.

He's going to DC. tomorrow
to piss away our political capital,

and position us permanently
in a dying sector.

-Do you think you can win?
-Of course.

(STUTTERS) It's finished.
I'm informing you, not courting you.

Because I have to work
with whoever's left.

Right. With me.

So, are we good?

Can I count on your vote
for Team Future?

I can promise you
that I am spiritually,

and emotionally and ethically
and morally behind whoever wins.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

What's the matter?

I'm pissed because
I have to come down to him

like a fuckin' FedEx guy.
Why can't he come to us?

Well, I guess he's the president.

Fuckin' Californian shrunken
little raisin. I've seen 10 of 'em.

He's basically a fuckin' intern.

-Are you okay, Karl, on all this?
-Yeah. Sure. Yeah.

-LOGAN: On the law?
-Yeah.

Gerri walked me through it, too, so...

I wish she was here, and not you.

(CHUCKLES)

Well, thank you.

She has to stay in the city
for board meeting prep, so...

It was a joke, Karl.

(SIREN BLARES)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

And I'm guessing
if I say cortado with almond,

you're gonna look like
I'm some kind ofjerk, right?

I will have a black coffee,
please, and thank you.

Is this safe?

I don't think we're gonna
bump into anyone here.

So, how'd it go with Stewy?

It went great. He's in.

Okay. Well, that's great.

Yeah. So, I think we're all good.

Uh-huh.

Shall ljust run it one more time,

before we open our kimonos in public?

Givens, Logan.

Once the vote is proposed,
he's recused, out of the game.

So, we have Kendall, Roman, Frank.
Three votes in favor.

And Asha. Your pet. That's good?

Rock solid. Already floated and noted.

Right.

Paul, Dewi, Datu,
they're old guard, they'll go Logan.

Yeah, well, sure. I mean... But sure.

Okay, Uncle Ewan, uh,
he's still a possible, right? Um...

You could maybe stoke
the old resentments?

Lady Macbeth, gettin' your
little fuckin' screwdriver in.

It's not a fucking
teddy bear's picnic, Roman,

-it's a massacre.
-Lawrence?

Dad would sell Vaulter for parts.

Lawrence would be crazy
not to vote with me.

Except Lawrence hates you.

We have three for Logan,
five against, three unknowns.

Oh, come on, this is bullshit.
Look, we push, Lawrence is ours,

Ewan could be ours,
Ilona could be ours.

Gerri can't vote, but she can talk
for senior management.

This is done. There's being cautious,

and there's being
fucking time-wasters.

If you want me to do this,
you gotta look worst case.

Lawrence, Ewan, Ilona, all in play.

One more makes us sure winners.

Yeah. We, uh, hit Lawrence.

MAN: (ON PHONE) Igot the call.
The nuclear reactor is sealed off.

-The infected have been shot.
-Oh, that's great.

That's great. Thank you.

-Yeah.
-Thank you so much.

-We're good.
-Okay. Okay.

-Goodbye.
-Bye.

-Yeah. Goodbye forever.
-Hope so.

...three men
to own half the wealth of America.

TOM: I have
just been given the all-clear.

Oh!

I feel I can breathe again.

Honestly, honey,
it's like this 900-pound gorilla

-has finally stopped fucking me.
-(CHUCKLES)

Now, is this the thing
I don't want to know about?

(SIGHS) Yeah. And, it's gone.

I think I'm good. I think I'm good.
Greg. Me. The circle's tight.

He's good. He's my little R2 unit.

I don't know.

(GROANS) I don't... This...
I don't fucking know! (SIGHS)

Should I stick with her?

Is that a president?

Maybe. I don't know.

Now, not to be Groomzilla,
but can we talk about menus?

'Cause I really love Lake Como,
but I'm worried about the fog.

One thing is, people don't change.
You know, a candidate can't change.

You can primp and plump and repackage,

but if you want to
change someone fundamentally,

-forget it.
-So, should we go

very old New York classy?

Oh, yeah. Uh, I...

Sorry, I had a pretty shitty phone
call with my mom the other day,

and just to smooth things over,
I said that we might

have the wedding back in England.

-You what?
-Yeah.

-Is that a biggie for you?
-Excuse me, Shiv. Fuck.

Tom, it'sjust a wedding.
The planners will figure it out.

-"Just a wedding"? Shiv.
-Yeah.

-It's our wedding!
-Oh, Tom...

-It only happens once.
-I can't do this right now.

-Tom.
-Okay. No...

I'm trying to think about work.

And I'm looking fon/vard to it,

but I just can't get into it all,
all the details. (SIGHS)

I mean, the wedding
might be in England, but it might not.

Okay, okay, sorry, sorry.

So, I'll take Lawrence,
and you can firm up the others, yeah?

Uh, that's okay. I got him.

No, I know the guy.

I see him at every
fucking fakers party,

phony soft opening that I go to.

We're like two peas
in a metrosexual think pod.

Look, are we doing this?

Are we running
a fucking company together, or what?

Look, Rome, I'm just trying to...

-I got it.
-I know you're not a clown.

-l'm not.
-It's delicate.

Oh, it's delicate? I didn't realize
it was delicate, the little nuances.

Lawrence fuckin' hates you, man,
he does.

-And he likes you?
-Yeah.

He likes me. People like me.

I look like a matador,
and everyone wants to fuck me.

I see him around. I know the guy.

-Trust me.
-Okay.

KARL: Gerri says
there are multiple indicators

he wants to be sympathetic
to our expansion.

LOGAN: You think so?

If he waves this through,
he gets hundreds of local TV stations

most amenable to talking about
what a great fuckin' guy he is.

He just needs to be prepared to take
a little political heat is all.

Mmm, four more years,
we're Procter & Gamble of the news.

(HORN HONKING)

Hey, Tom.

Uh, I'm heading to Washington.

Do you mind if I miss dinner?
I need to figure out about Joyce.

No, sweetheart, that's fine.

If you need to think about
your commitment to Joyce,

then go, do it. Go to Washington.

SHIV: Yeah, I just wondered
if] picked the right horse.

No, I get it, I do. Yeah.

Slide her under
the X-ray machine, baby.

Yes.

-Okay. Love you. Bye.
-You, too. Bye.

-Hey, hey, guy.
-Hey, hey.

Hey. Everything okay, Greg?

-Yeah. Yeah. Sure.
-Sure?

-Good. Good, good.
-(GREG SCATTING)

You know, you can talk to me
about anything. You know?

Oh, yeah. Well, I... Thanks.

Fantastic... Resource.

(SCATTING)

Okay, okay.

So, Shiv is going to Washington,

so, tonight, why don't I take you out?

No?

What, for real?

I thought you were gonna say

"take you out
and beat the shit out of you,"

or "take you out and put a bullet
through your dumb fuckin' brain,"

or something else,
you know, funny like that.

No, Greg, I'm not some beast.

Well, actually, uh,
I finally got paid...

(CHUCKLES) Attaboy. Okay.

It's like they're not
paying the light bill here,

urn, but I actually got paid,

and l was thinking
about maybe going to, uh...

Have you ever visited
California Pizza Kitchen?

-(LAUGHS) No. Dear Lord, no.
-It's pretty delicious, Tom.

No. No, it isn't, Greg.

You might think
it tastes delicious, but...

They make a Cajun chicken linguini
just how I like it.

But that's not how
you're supposed to like it.

So, let's go out, and I'll teach you.

And I'll show you
how to be rich. Okay? It'll be fun.

He'll be just along
the hallway here, Mr. Roy.

I have been here before,
and I do know how hallways work.

Someone will be with you shortly.

What a fuckin' song and dance, eh?
(CHUCKLES)

-Ah.
-Mr. Roy. I am so sorry,

but the president passes on
his sincere apologies.

He's currently dealing with
a matter of homeland security.

He's sure you'll understand,
but he's going to need to offer

an alternative face
for this discussion.

"Alternative face,"
what the fuck does that mean?

If I drop my pants,
I can show you an alternative face.

How does that sound?

LOGAN: Have I been snubbed?
Find out if I've been snubbed.

KARL: I don't think
you've been snubbed.

Is this a snubbing?
Just fucking find out!

Holy shit. Wamsgans!
A fuckin' black eye?

You should see the other guy.
(CHUCKLES)

The guy who jammed his dick
in your eye?

Let'sjust say, uh,
lwas in bed with Shiv, so...

What? She punched you?

No.

Things just get a little
hot and heavy.

A little freaky-deaky. So...

Fuckin' our sister? That's cool, man.

TOM: Yeah, it's kind of weird
when you talk about that.

ROMAN: No, I think it's really cool.
I think we should...

Like, what's it like
to bang our sister?

So, what's goin' on? Clue me in.

Uh, wejust finished, bud.

Yup. (CLICKS TONGUE) Yeah, I'm gonna
go eat a fucking elk, or something.

See ya later.

Oh, hey, Tom.

Just to say, I know you've been
eating a lot of shit for me,

that I don't know about,
and I appreciate that.

And Iwant you to know, I like you.

You're Team Kendall, man.

Lot of stuff goin' down,
but you're on the team.

Thanks, brother.

Here's to us.

To us.

Uh, so, I do need
to ask something, but, um...

We're cool, yeah?

Like, we're fuckin' disruptors, yeah?

Yeah.

But, um,

what would you say...

What would you say if I told you

that there was gonna be
a vote of no confidence tomorrow?

Kick out the old man,
in with the new guard.

Romey and the homey.

You and Kendall are thinking
of killing your dad?

-Well...
-That's a little Greek tragedy.

Yeah, Oedipus.

Did I say that
I was going to fuck Marcia? No.

Although I definitely would,
'cause she's hot.

But that's, you know,
that's like phase two.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

-Hey.
-Hey.

(CHUCKLES)

-I'm sorry I'm late.
-SHIV: Uh, yeah, no. No worries.

Oh, this place has changed.

Uh...

Yeah. (SCOFFS)

I mean, well, everything changes.
We've changed.

What's this? Shiv Roy goes soulful.
Does not suit you.

It's like you're wearing a turtleneck,
and a stick-on mustache.

(CHUCKLES)

All right, yeah.
Well, I do have feelings.

So, congratulations on Senator Miller.

Thank you.

Not exactly the fuckin'
Southern Strategy,

gettin' a bunch of Jews, blacks,
and media studies professors,

to vote in a Democrat
in New York State, but still...

Uh, fuck you. You've seen the numbers.

Yeah, there's a number of ways
of analyzing the numbers.

I did a fucking good job,
in the teeth of a scandal.

At this point in the cycle,
I knocked it out of the fucking park.

So, you know what? Here's to me.

How's everything in
the People's Republic of Gil Eavis?

Amazing.

So, go on, Shiv, what is this?

Okay, uh, well,

I want you to think about joining us.

-Me and Joyce.
-Why?

Because I need
a piece of shit on the team.

What do you think?

I think... Is it a good idea?
You and me?

-Uh, yeah. Why?
-Historically speaking,

we found it quite hard
not to fuck each other.

It's great to see you
on such short notice.

Shush.Eat

I finished most of 'em, Grandpa.

Your mother says
you don't have any money.

Until recently, but actually,

-um, my pay came through.
-EWAN: Uh-huh.

And now, I'm incredibly rich.

-Really?
-Mmm-hmm.

Well, I'm sure
you're going to be very happy.

GREG: Thank you.

EWAN: She also told me to feed you,
so,eatup.

(EXHALES) Honestly, I think my stomach
might have shrunk

during my period of poverty.

The waste in this city is obscene.
Finish it.

So, how come you're here...
You're in town, uh, ifl may ask?

Well,

(ORIENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

you're a grownup, allegedly.

So, here's what grownups do.

Kendall is gonna call for
a vote of no confidence

against his own father
at the next board meeting.

Sounds like a huge deal,
but it's just procedure, or...

It's a wanton act
of egregious selfishness.

In keeping with everything else
I've come to loathe

about this rat's nest of a family.

Right. Right.
So, are you gonna tell Logan?

I'm gonna keep my snout
out the trough, thank you very much.

And my advice to you is,
paddle your own canoe.

Hmm?

(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)

Hello?

-Kendall?
-Marcia.

I was wondering, if you're not busy,

if you don't mind
joining your father for dinner?

-Did he ask to have dinner with me?
-Yeah.

He's home alone,
and I have something I cannot miss.

Um...

Just him and me?

Yeah. Is it a bad time?
Do you have something planned?

Uh, no. Of course. No, I'm around.

Thank you.

I've left some steamed fish.

Merci beaucoup.

Okay, sure.

Mmm.

Exactly. When I had their monkfish,
I thought I was gonna shit,

puke and cum, all at once.

That sounds delicious.

Although I don't actually
have much of an appetite.

Well, you better find one quick,

'cause this is one of
the most exclusive popups in the city,

and we're having
the full tasting menu.

Uh-huh.

How come the wine list
doesn't have any prices?

Because they're obscene.

Look, here's the thing
about being rich, okay?

It's fucking great.

Okay? It's like being
a superhero, only better.

You get to do what you want,

the authorities
can't really touch you,

you get to wear a costume,
but it's designed by Armani,

and it doesn't make you
look like a prick.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-TOM: Thank you.
-Thank you.

If I was going to come in with you,
what's your vision?

Well, it's me and Kendall.

Fuck Kendall. Okay?
You. What's your vision?

You know what? I, uh, ended up
in a book shop the other day,

and I just started laughing.

Okay.

I was looking at all the books
cramming up all the walls,

and ljust thought, you know,
about the olden days,

all the fucking monasteries
and the Bibles

and the sermons and the "Did Jesus
say this? and "Do you mean that?"

and all the words and what have you.
All gone.

No one gives a fuck.

You're saying
we're going post-literate.

People are gonna read,
but the old world, it's gone.

Papers, gone. News, gone.

"Tune in to ABS at 9:00
to be told what to think." No. Over.

It's all about the morsels, man.
Feed me the fucking tasty morsels.

"Keep me interested."
That is where we're headed.

Tasty morsels from groovy hubs.

Tasty morsels from groovy hubs.

Um...

Look, man,
I'm dumb, but I'm smart.

I'm too dumb to know how
to fix our whole company.

I don't have the attention span.

This is probably
the most interesting thing

that's happened in my whole life,

and I'm thinking about, like,
six other things.

But I am smart enough
to know what needs changing,

and I'm smart enough
to spot the people

who can help us, Lawrence.

So, are you in?

Well...

I'm on the side of change.

-Yeah, you are. Sorry... Oh, fuck.
-(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)

-Mind if I take this?
-LAWRENCE: Go ahead.

Sorry, fellas. Keep it sexy. Yeah?

Marcia asked me
to have dinner with Dad.

-He knows. Does he know?
-I don't know.

Did he mention me?

-What did Lawrence say?
-Uh, he's in.

-For real?
-Yes, for real. Fuck you.

Nice. Okay. Okay, great. Thanks.

Oh, Jesus. What, now?

-Ortolan.
-GREG: What's ortolan?

It is a deep-fried songbird.
You eat it whole.

-Oh, my God...
-This is a rare privilege.

And it's also kind of illegal.

-Oh, I have a...
-For the head.

The exact purpose is debated.

Some say, it's to mask the shame,
others, to heighten the pleasure.

(CRUNCHING)

TOM: Oh, my God. That is so good.

Did you eat it yet, Greg?

-Not yet, no.
-Eat it, Greg!

(CRUNCHES)

(GREG MUMBLING)

It's a rather unique flavor.

Yeah, it's the gamy, (CLEARS THROAT)
brainy hit, my friend.

Ah.

(TOM SIGHS)

Can we have some more wine, please?

You trying to seduce me, Torn?

(LAUGHS) Yes, lam! Yes, lam, Greg.

All the things we've seen,
all the things we've done,

we're in this together, man.

Okay. Is that...

Is that what this is,
this is about the thing?

We have a bond.

-You do?
-Yeah, sure.

I was an outsider once.

Young guy from St. Paul, alone
in the big city, and it was hard.

And you create this
kind of protective shell,

but underneath,
we're all just little nudie turtles.

Okay, man. I gotta level with you,

because if I eat any more songbirds,
I'm gonna hurl.

My grandpa already
bought me dinner tonight.

Your grandpa?
What's he doing in New York?

He's come down for this vote
of no confidence in Logan tomorrow.

-Did you know about that?
-What? You serious?

Yeah, he's come down
especially to vote.

It's a big deal, right?

Yeah. Hold on. Hold on.

You say you want me,
but really, you don't.

It's so exciting
when you know more about me than I do.

You want me for my edge,
'cause she's not edgy enough.

You should be workin'
for a winner like Gil.

You know I'm a considerably
more successful political strategist

-than you are.
-Shiv, you work with what you got,

and what you got is... (GAGS)

I've been grooming Joyce
for three years.

-Appeals to everyone.
-Exactly.

Which is a little like
appealing to no one. She's nice.

Oh, that is a horrible thing
to say about anyone.

Look, Kendall told me
how you're marrying this

guy, this corn-fed
basic from Hockeytown.

-Yeah, Tom. He's a great guy.
-Sure.

Great guy with the square head.

And you're workin'
for the nice black lady.

-What are you trying to prove?
-You're such a fucking prick.

You should be with
an exciting bastard like me.

I tried playing with you,
and you broke.

(ELEVATOR DINGS)

Sir. Your father's on a call
in the den.

He asked if you'd wait a moment?

Sure.

(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)

Tom? Hey, can this wait till tomorrow?

You're gonna want to hear this.

Ewan is in town, and he knows,
and he's come to vote.

What? Hold on.

Who's your source?

Uh...

I can't reveal my sources.
Uh, but it's Greg.

(SIGHS)

Okay, uh, Tom, you do not
breathe a word of this, okay?

My lips are sealed.

(SHUDDERING)

All right. Thanks, Tom.
I appreciate it.

It's not a big deal. Team Kendall.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

My God. My God!
It's actually happening.

It's happening. The troops
are taking Saddam's palace, man.

This time tomorrow, you and me...
I could... I could be like the...

I could be like the third
most important guy in the company.

I mean,
it's the Storming of the Bastille.

Let us eat cake. I mean...

(LAUGHING)

I don't know what we're talking about.

(LAUGHING)

KENDALL: Thanks, Richard.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TW

Hey, Dad.

Hey.

KENDALL: You shouldn't eat this shit.

You're not the boss of me.

Did you want to talk?
Marcia said you wanted to see me.

Marcia.

Yeah, she's got her own game goin' on.

-What does that mean?
-You know what it means.

You've got your game goin' on.

I've got my game.

What... (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
What's your game?

Everybody's got a game.

So, what's goin' on?

What's the action? What's the story?

What's goin' on?

KENDALL: Uh...

You heard about my meet?
You heard it was a snub?

What? Uh...

Oh...

Yeah, I heard, um...

Uh...

I heard real security alert,
but who knows, it's tough to read.

Oh, fuck.

I could do something about this.

Okay?

Haven't had one of these in...
I don't even know.

-You gonna eat it?
-Yeah, I'm gonna eat it.

Hey, good.

(CHUCKLES)

-Cheers.
-Cheers.

Oh, fuck! Every fuckin' time!

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

Thanks, man. Thanks.

Should I get us some beers?

No, no. No need. Bottle service.
I ordered vodka. Come on.

Whoa! (LAUGHS)

-TOM: Go ahead, man.
-Hey! So, this is what you do?

You, like, come to a club,
and then you come to, like,

this other part
where the club sort of isn't?

Yeah! Yeah, that's it!

This is 2,000 bucks a pop.

VVhy?

No reason!
We're being totally ripped off!

Is this gold... Is this gold leaf?

Uh-huh. Drink the gold, my friend.

TOM: And then later,
you and I can have a 24-karat piss.

(DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES)

-FRANK: (ON PHONE) Any news?
-Um, we have Lawrence.

That'll make our sleep easier.
If I can sleep. Which I won't.

I think I'm just gonna call Sarita
and check Ilona's out of the action.

Oh, do we need?

(STUTTERS) You're not worried
that could stir things?

Just to cover all the bases.

Hey, Frank?

Listen, is this...

(SIGHS)

Is this, like, objectively horrible?

(STUTTERS) You know,
we could hold off.

We could put this
together next quarter...

Ken. You made this happen.

It’s hard enough to get five people
together for a fuckin’ dinner.

You might never get another shot.

And it's the right thing to do.

Strength.

You're a good son.

Night, Ken.

Good night.

(CLEARS THROAT)

(LINE RINGING)

-Hello?
-Sarita, hey.

Sorry to call so late. I...

You know,
Iwasjust, uh, thinking, and...

-It's nice to hear your voice.
-Yeah, it's nice to hear your voice.

I don't know, I felt bad,

Uh, I assume she can 't make it
to the board meeting tomorrow, sadly.

SARITA: No. [have to go, Kendall.

(LINE DISCONNECTS)

(PIANO MUSIC PLAYING)

So, tell me more about
Mr. Potato Head.

Tom? He's amazing.

Well, I'm pleased.

-Uh, but it is great.
-Shiv.

You're convincing me. You are.
It's the constant weary repetition.

-"Tom's great."
-He is.

(CHUCKLES)

We're not gonna fuck tonight, right?

You know I'm getting married, too.

Oh, really?
Car model or failed actress?

Ouch! There she is.
She's actually a French doctor.

That's nice.

I mean, it doesn't mean
we can't do other stuff.

-Uh...
-Theoretically.

I'm getting married in March.

I'm getting married in May.

-It's not a competition.
-Sure. Yeah.

But only one of us
is getting married in lilac season,

and it's not you.

-Come on.
-SHIV: What?

I have to say I am feeling...

You're feeling what, Nate?

I mean, we could masturbate
in separate rooms.

-(LAUGHS) Oh, God!
-No. It's quite modern.

-No. Come on!
-NATHANIEL: Or... Or...

Just, for old times' sake, last one.
Absolute last one.

I could just, you know,
the old traditional...

Simply stick it in.

Yeah. Like a gas station, right?
Just stick it in.

So, a French doctor, huh?

Oh, she sounds far too nice
and interesting for you.

She's not that nice.

Deep down she's
status-and money-obsessed. Like you.

This is nice.
This is like being friends.

You know.

-(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
-(SNIFFLES)

It was Gil. He's very interested.

I think you should do this.

You're hot, you're...

...so hot right now.

Come on. Nate.
We should be good people.

I know.

Wouldn't it be nice to just
wake up in the morning and...

Not feel like a fucking piece of shit?

-NATHANIEL: Hey, Shiv.
-Morning.

You know you're amazing, right?

Uh, yeah. I guess.

Come meet Gil.

He's not a pipe dream.
He's gonna go all the way.

Okay. So, we behaved ourselves.

They're gonna write songs
about how good we were.

Shiv? You're a blonde beast.

You should do whatever you want.

Bye, Nate.

(SIGHS)

I think it's gonna be tight,

but, you know,
all the variables swing our way.

-(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
-Oh.

Hey, what's up, Jess?

-I have Ms. Shenoy on the line.
-Okay.

Sarita?

|LONA: Hello?

Ilona. Ilona, hi. How are you?
God, it's great to hear your voice.

(STUTTERS) You're up.
Um, did you get my gift?

Yes. So, my daughter told me
you don't want me voting

in today's board meeting.
Is that right?

No, no, no. That's not it at all.
That's, um...

Can I explain? That's...

Well, I'm letting you know
that I will be dialing in.

KENDALL: Okay. Well, look,
there '3 some issues. Um...

I know you haven't...

Look, could I come
and talk it through?

Kendall, lwill be dialing in.

I'll be there in an hour.

Great. Okay, thanks, Ilona.

(LINE DISCONNECTS)

You're gonna go all the way
out to her? To Long Island?

-Yeah, I can, uh...
-Is there time?

I can make it. I can make it.
I think... I think I have to go.

(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(INAUDIBLE)

(INAUDIBLE)

Hey. You ready? Let's go.

Sorry, Mr. Roy, the skies are closed.

Temporary flight restriction.
There's a possible terror threat.

KENDALL: No, no, I need to go, pal.

I'll pay whatever fine
they hit us with. Let's go.

We can't do that, sir.
FAA will pull my license.

Uh...

Okay, I'll handle the FAA.

Or, what is it? The AHS?
I'll handle it.

Whatever you lose financially,
I'll make up in perpetuity. Okay?

Sir, if we take off now,
we can be shot down by an F-16.

Yeah, but not really. Right?

Airspace is on Iockdown.
There's nothing we can do.

Whoa, whoa!

Yo!

How long to get to the city?
Financial district?

Man, we should get a round
of fuckin' shots going, right?

-STEWART: Make it happen.
-Will do.

It's nice to see the war criminal.

ROMAN: Oh, yeah, nice guy, lovely guy.
LAWRENCE: Cleans up well.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

We good, then? Solid? Right?

I heard Logan started on time
even when

he was airlifted in from Aspen
with a shattered femur.

That is true.

Yep, no. That is correct.

(INHALES SHARPLY)

Hey, is your phone working?

Can I get like a motorcycle courier?
Anything? Can you call your office?

Sorry, no bars.

They're evacuating five blocks
each way from the Stock Exchange.

(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)

Come on.
Gerri.

Gerri. Can you hear me?

Hey, where are you?

-Hey, listen, I'm almost there.
-(HORNS HONKING)

The traffic's stopped.
I need you to stall.

What? What's that?

GERRI: It's a bad connection.
I can't really hear you.

Gerri? I'm in a tunnel.

Okay? Stall.

-Well, how far are y... I...
-(LINE DISCONNECTS)

-Shit.
-What?

-He's in traffic.
-Don't. Don't do this.

He's asking us how long can we stall.

-Fuck, fuck, fuck.
-FRANK: Great.

(GERRI CLEARS THROAT)

It'll be all right.
He's not gonna be too late.

MAN: Here he comes.
LOGAN: Morning, morning!

ALL: Good morning.

-Oh, quite a turnout.
-Yeah.

Frank, will you whip us through?

Uh...

ljust got word. Ithink
Kendall will be a few minutes late.

Request for a late start?

-No!
-No?

He can catch up. Fuck that!
Where is he?

Uh, stuck in traffic.
That's all I know.

-Okay, come on, let's go. Let's go.
-Yup, yup-

It's 12:00 noon, and I'd like to call

the meeting of Waystar Royco to order.

-FRANK: Roll call.
-What? Roll call?

Logan Roy. Yeah. You're here.

We've never done roll call.
What is roll call?

-FRAN K: We're doing it today.
-Why are we doing roll call?

Because that's how we do it.
Right, Noah?

So, Logan Roy is here...

Frank Vernon, present.

Kendall Roy, absent.

-Roman Roy.
-Yo.

Ewan Roy, absent.
Ilona Shenoy, absent.

-FRAN K: Datu Kasuma.
-Present.

-FRANK: Dewi Swann.
-Here.

-Paul Chambers.
-Happy to be here.

-Asha Kahn.
-Here.

-Lawrence Yee.
-Here.

Sir!

-Stewy Hosseini.
-I am here.

FRANK: Mr. Chairman, we have a quorum.

Uh, we also welcome
our esteemed general counsel

Gerri Killman to the meeting.
Thanks, Gerri.

So, everybody has a copy of the agenda
and the minutes of the last meeting.

-Is that right?
-ALL: Yes.

Do any of you have any questions

that have come to you
immediately after looking at them?

I know that I have a few thoughts
we might have to take a look at.

What thoughts?

FRANK: Just wait a second,
and I'll get to it.

LOGAN: Okay. Who's this?

Ewan? Well! (CHUCKLES)
You just can't keep away, huh?

Thought maybe I'd show up for once.
Watch the fun.

Great to have you.

EWAN: They wouldn't let me in
downstairs without a passport.

Has it started?

(MAN CLEARS THROAT)

(CARS HONKING)

(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)

Kendall. Hey, where are ya?

We've already started, man.
We've started.

Hey. Tell Jess to put me through
the polycom. Yeah?

So, let's move along to item 3.1.

(CLEARS THROAT)

-Frank.
-Mmm-hmm.

What's "Performance issues?"
Sounds fucking vague.

And why is it so high
on the fuckin' hit parade?

-(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
(STUTTERS)

I don't know if we're actually
gonna hit those today.

-Maybe we can bump those.
-I'm gonna have to get back to you.

FRANK: Can we bump 'em?

Okay, then. Let's bump it.

What the fuck's goin' on?

I think Kendall
wants to make a comment.

He has a thing
that he's going to speak...

I think Ilona
is going to phone in, too.

JESS: He's on the line.
I'm putting him through.

What is this? What the fuck is this?

Hi, Kendall?

(OVER SPEAKER) Hey, guys.
Can you hear me?

I apologize. I will be there shortly.

Where are we at?

We are at your item.

FRANK: Performance issues.

(SIREN BLARING)

Uh...

You want us to wait?
Where are you?

Fuck that. We're movin' on.

Gerri, Noah, if we wanted to
halt proceedings until...

We're not halting proceedings.

-LOGAN: We're moving on.
-No, no. It's okay. It's okay.

I can do this.

KENDALL: Dad, this is big.

(PANTING) Look, I love my father.

Okay? My father is a legend.

I worship the ground he walks on.

Nothing will ever detract from
what he's built and what he's done.

But he is currently unfit
to run this company.

(KENDALL PANTING)

-Speak up. I can't hear.
-Not only because of his refusal

to take the time
to recover from serious health issues,

but because ever day,
he refuses to retire,

he is one day closer
to destroying his own legacy.

He took on levels of debt

that threatened
the ver existence of our firm,

he is lining up
dead-weight acquisitions

in a sector that
he has a historic regard for,

but which is a non-growth area.

We face existential battles in scale,

and he is facing precisely
the wrong direction.

He is making decisions for a future
that he no longer understands,

and we don 't have time for missteps.

What used to take ten, two, three
years. Our entire ice cap will melt.

He is gambling our last dollars
at the track

on a horse
that's ready for the glue factory,

and I am calling for
a vote of no confidence in him,

as CEO and chairman.

Bullshit. No.

I'm afraid,
since you are the subject of the vote,

you need to recuse yourself, Logan.

Oh, Jesus Christ. Fuckin' amateur hour
at the fuckin' circus.

You don't get to vote, and you don't
get to comment, is the situation.

You really should leave the room.

Okay, fine. Fine. Vote.

Would you mind?

Guys. Is he there?
(STUTTERS) Is he still in the room?

I'm sick. I can't move.
Fuck that vote.

He can't be in the room. Okay? Guys...

FRANK: Let the minutes reflect

that Logan Roy
was asked to recuse himself.

LOGAN: Let the minutes
reflect that Logan Roy

-shoved his boot up Frank's ass.
-FRANK: Okay.

All in favor of the vote
of no confidence in Logan Roy?

Me. My hand is raised.

More in sorrow, than in anger.

Oh, no shit, Judas.

Frank! Nice to see you back.

Asha? I see you.

And I see you, Logan.

Oh, Jesus, this is just
un-frickin'—believable.

Stewy? Stewy.

Me. Okay.

Listen, as a major shareholder,

and in the absence
of any real clarity here,

I think it's the view

that this is a family matter,
and abstain.

-Against.
-Strongly against.

FRANK: We have Ilona on the line.
ILONA: Hello, Logan. Yes.

After consulting with my family,
I am voting in favor of the motion.

Thanks for nothin', Ilona.
Fuck off.

(BEEPS)

GERRI: Ewan?

Go ahead. What are we on, 4-2?

Go on. Yeah. Join the rats.

LOGAN: Let's finish this, huh?

I vote with Logan.

DATU: I think we should take the time
to consider this properly,

when all parties are here.

LOGAN: Datu, we're voting now.

FRANK: Logan, please,
can you stay out of the conversation?

DATU: In which case, Logan.
I stick with Logan.

LOGAN: Kendall,
you counted right there?

You all right?

Four against four,
this is your best shot?

Um, Lawrence?

I don't have a dog
in this fight, Kendall. I abstain.

FRANK: So, currently,

we've got four votes in favor
of Logan to remain,

four of stepping down,
two abstentions.

-(ELEVATOR DINGS)
-Uh, Gerri.

(OVER SPEAKER)
Do you want to say anything

to speak to the senior management
teams' attitudes here?

-Shut the...
-GERRI: Well, you know,

I'm an independent observer,
uh, non-voting, a general counsel,

so, I'm not sure that's appropriate?

Right. Thanks.

Very...

professional.

Hey, Roman?

KENDALL: Roman. Put your hand up, bro.

Roman, can you hear me?

Uh...

-(LINE BREAKING) Is your hand up?
-Kendall, yeah. Hey. Are you there?

-Roman...
-You're kind of cuttin' out.

Roman...

(STATIC ON PHONE LINE)

He's off the line. Come on, son.

Roman.

Come on. Come on, come on.

You better be smelling
your fuckin' armpit, Romulus.

ROMAN: Um...

(ELEVATOR DINGS)

I think it's a tough one, you know?
Ithink, uh...

-It's tough, but maybe...
-Roman for me.

FRANK: I'm not sure
we can count that for you.

-Roman?
-Against.

He started to vote,
I'm not sure that he can change that.

-He can fucking change.
-You shouldn't be here,

you shouldn't be speaking here,
you should be out of this room.

-This is illegal.
-Whatever.

If you count 'em out, deadlock.

Continuity prevails. I'm chairman.

Casting vote. Iwin.
It's fucking over!

(KENDALL PANTING)

What's the vote?

LOGAN: My son.

That was your best shot.
You lost.

I think there's some doubt
as to whether he lost...

And Kendall, Frank, Asha, Ilona,

off the board,
fired with immediate effect.

-I don't think you're able to do that.
-LOGAN: Security!

I am in the middle
of turning a fucking tanker.

-Frank, you're fired.
-I have some doubt...

(SHOUTS) I'm in the middle
of turning a fucking tanker!

Do you hear?

Frank! You're fired.
Without exit package.

Asha, goodbye.

Somebody send a telegram to Ilona
telling her she's no longer required,

and my best to her cancer.

I think we all need to take a beat.

-Meh, meh, meh, fuckin' meh.
-Logan, stop.

Is it wise to fire the board
with the share price this weak,

heading into a political fight?

Take it like a fucking man.
You're out.

You're fucked.
You tried to kill me, but you failed.

And you're dead. Now, fuck off!

Oh, go on, cry me a river.
Get the fuck out.

Straight out! Passes canceled.

We'll send along personal belongings.

KENDALL: Just need to get
some things, okay?

LOGAN: No goodbyes! Thank you!

KENDALL: Get your
fuckin' hands off me.

And what the fuck am I gonna do
with you?

I don't know, Dad.

LOGAN: Jesus.

-KENDALL: Can I just get some stuff?
-No. No.

-Thank you.
-Okay.

Hey!

God, that was the journey from hell.
Spent 30 minutes in a cab not moving.

Honey?

Tom?

-Hey. Hey.
-Hey. You okay, sweetheart?

Yeah. I think somebody poisoned me.
I'm working from home.

-Oh, someone poisoned you?
-Mmm.

(CHUCKLES) Oh! With booze?

(EXCLAIMS)

Huh.

-Hey. Hey.
-Hey.

Okay, I got you something.

-Oh, thank you.
-I missed you.

Oh, you only been away,
like, 14 hours.

Yeah, well, sorry for missing you.

(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)

Yeah. What?

-What the fuck?
-What? What's happened?

(STUTTERS)

Well, more. Tell me more.

What's happened? Did it happen?

Okay, call me right back.

The world's blown up. Oh, fuck!

What do you mean, "Has it happened"?

-Did you know?
-What? No!

-SHIV: Fuckin' Kendall!
-Has it happened?

Did... Has it happened? Wait!

Kendall? Call me back.

-You knew?
-Yeah.

I think too much edible gold
hurt my tummy.

SHIV: Connor. You heard?

CONNOR: (OVER PHONE)
Yeah, Kendall called

for a vote of no confidence on Dad.

Kendall? Who the fuck else
knew about this?

-Roman did.
-Roman knew?

Hey, ldon't know why
you'd expect anything different.

Not a single one of them told me
about this. It's complete bullshit.

Oh, Shiv, you know I don't like
to take sides, but I'm on your side.

Fuck you.

-You knew?
-Yeah, I tried to call you.

-Not hard enough.
-I did!

-He's fired half the board.
-TOM: What about Kendall?

-Fired. Frank, Asha, fired.
-What?

The rebels are getting shot
in the town square.

I'll talk to you later, Torn.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Are we the rebels?

(PHONE RINGS)

-Yes?
-I have the White House.

The president will join once
you're on. They're very apologetic.

-Tell him I'm on.
-Yes, sir.

(BEEPS)

Yes, he's on.

Hello, Mr. President.
He'll be with you momentarily.

He'll be right there.

Thank you.

(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)

Mr. President.

Much, much better.

No need for an apology.

Well, you really
had a terrorist problem.

I've just taken down
a terrorist myself.

My son.

So, can you help me with this
FCC red tape bullshit?

Good.

And, you, Mr. President.
And, you. Thank you.

(COUNTRY MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

(SOFT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)