Succession (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Celebration - full transcript

Where am I?

Where the fuck am I?

Jesus.

Logan?

Logan?

Logan, where are you?

- Logan!
- Oh, fuck.

Where am I?

It's OK.

We're in the new place.

- I'm sorry.
- It's OK.



Mm! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

What's that, man?

- We're here, Mr. Roy.
- This is it.

This is the day
we make it happen, Fikret.

You're the man, Mr. Roy.

You're the man.

We good?

Jesus Christ.

Hey, hey, hey, buddy.

Good to see you.

So, are we ready
to fuck or what?

Yeah... OK.

Look, I-I'm really sorry,



but it looks like
there's an issue.

Come on, I came
all the way up here, dude.

Yeah, I'm sorry..

uh, dude.

OK.

Listen, you know I love
what you do, right?

I'd love to keep
you and your team
in place, Lawrence.

I think Vaulter is the shiz.

We're the shiz?

Yeah.

What's it gonna take?

You want me to send
a vintage Jaguar
over to your house today?

I'll do it.

Um, s-sure. Look, um...

I just think bottom line,

I can deliver a lot more value
for our shareholders.

I hope we haven't
inconvenienced you.

I see you.
I see this.

We appreciate your interest
in our little outfit,

but I think that's it.

Come on. That's it?

That's not it.
What the fuck happened?

Yo, hang on.

Hold up, hold up.

- You get the message?
- What?

I'm not letting
you Neanderthals in
to rape my company.

Ever.

I'm sorry?

You're a bunch
of bloated dinosaurs

who didn't even notice
the monkeys swinging by
till yesterday.

Well, fuck you,
daddy's boy.

Hey, come on.
Don't blow this up.

I got a track record
from founding

one of the most exciting
new media brands in the world.

And what do you got?
Track marks from shooting junk?

Thanks for coming down.
It was great to meet you.

Sorry this isn't
going to work out.

No, it's gonna work out.

No, it isn't.

Take care, dude.

Fuck. What the fuck, Frank?

I--

How can we salvage this?

You still want
to pursue this?

Yeah, of course I wanna pursue.

I wanna announce.

This is part
of the whole thing.

This is the secret sauce.

Do we need to sweeten the offer?

You wanna bump the offer
another point?

Do you wanna
call your dad?

Do I wanna call my dad?

No, I don't wanna call my dad.

Do you wanna call your dad?

- No.
- No?

Do you wanna
call your dad?

Does anybody wanna
call their dad?

OK, nobody wants to talk
to their fucking dad.

So, we've started, so let's
buy this fucking company.

I'm pushing the bid
to 120. OK?

OK.

How's it going?

Yeah, I'm right
in the middle, Dad.

Did you close?

Yeah, it's OK.

We're not quite closed.

I'm going to 120.

So, that's good.

Uh...

and are we still good
for the announcement?

Uh-huh.

Great, 'cause obviously
I'm soft floating

to, like,
Frank and Rava,

and there's gossip
getting soft floated.

By who?

Uh, by the ether.

I don't know.

Hey, hey, happy birthday,
you old geezer.

Look, it's exciting.

This is gonna be
great for you, Dad.

Mm-hmm. I'm excited.

Waystar Royco is a family.

A family that spans
four continents,

50 countries,
three divisions:

Entertainment,
News and Resorts.

Working together

to provide a net
that can hold the world,

or catapult it forward

to the next adventure!

Joining Waystar Royco,
you're joining

one of the most dynamic news
and entertainment companies

in the world.

Feel it!

OK, how's everyone feeling?

- Great!
- Great!

Excellent!

Hey. You in the room?

OK. Well, let's go out
and give these kids

the best day
of their lives, huh?

Feel it!

- Feel it!
- Feel it!

Hi!

Hi, Doderick!

Whoo ooh ooh!

Woo woo woo woo woo!

Hi!

Good morning!

It's Doderick!

Whoo! It's me, Doderick!

Hey, happy birthday!

Don't pull on my tail!

Don't hit Doderick!

Hey!

Quit it!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Wait, OK. Please get off.

Can you fuck off?

Can you just get the fuck off?

Ew!

He's puking out of his eyes!

Protein spill.

OK, this way, this way.
Come on.

Greg?

Hi, Mom.

How-- Are you OK?
How's it going?

Mom, sorry,
but I sort of screwed up.

Well, not me, actually,
but this kid.

Greg.

So, this kid smoked a joint
in my car.

A kid.

Like this hitchhiker kid
that I

picked up this morning,
like earlier this morning.

'Cause it was raining
and I didn't want...

I didn't want him
to get sexually assaulted?

Greg.

Before I could
even say anything...

What the fuck?

...aggressively takes out--

Have you ever seen, like,
so, a doobie?

And the car
smelled like skunk weed.

And then I guess
I smelled like it.

And then

they were just like,

"Get all your stuff and go."

Greg.

Did you even think
for one second

to tell them who you are?

No, I thought--

I didn't wanna be an asshole

or get into it all.

- OK.
- I don't know.

Here's what you're gonna do.

You're gonna get a plane ticket
to New York.

It's your Uncle--

your Great-Uncle Logan's
birthday,

and they're having a big party.

I'll call Marcia
and tell her you're coming.

It's his birthday?

You're gonna go to the party.

You're gonna get him
a nice gift.

And you're gonna look nice.

In a grown-up shirt
and a grown-up blazer.

A blazer?

I'll let you know.

They're not gonna budge unless
it gets to be a stupid number.

What's a stupid number?

What's stupid?
A "badillion"? I don't know.

Because 120 is stupid.
Am I wrong?

120 is a stupid number.

But it's not really
a money thing right now.

Mr. Roy,
someone's here to see you.

- OK. Who's this?
- Hi, Kendall Roy?

Yeah, hi.

I was sent by Roman
to burn some sage.

Excuse me?

It's auspicious.

I'm a business alchemist.

It's a gift,
from your brother.

Will it set off
the smoke alarms?

Not usually.

Not usually?

Hey, hey, motherfuckers!

- Roman.
- My guy?

Are you saging?

Well, we're concerned
about the alarms.

Ooh, right, yeah,
the bad juju.

Now, I can use essential oils.

Oh, I think
just fuck off, thanks.

How ya doing?

Good. Good. Just finessing.

Mm. Finessing. Nice.

Bye.

He's good.

You OK, man?

OK? Yes, I'm OK. Obviously.

Why would you even ask that?

I don't know.
Just, you know.

Here? Man, I'm so over it.
I was a bad fit.

I was never a corporate
cock-suck anyway.

Besides, I never made it this
high in the fucking building!

They stuck me in LA
with Old Father Time right here.

We were the pool boys,
right, Frank?

Fuckin' banana cabana?

Good times.

So, what's the bid?

- What's the bid?
- Mm-hmm.

Well...

What?
That's commercially sensitive?

I'm still on the board, man.

Going 125.

One-twenty-five?

- What?
- Fuck!

What? High or low?

- You're laughing. What?
- No.

- For Vaulter, right?
- Yeah.

Bit of content
and a brand name?

Bit of content and a brand name
kinda's the whole game.

- Isn't it?
- Mm-hmm.

What are you laughing at?

I don't know what
I'm talking about.

You're gonna be
captain of the ship
soon enough.

- So I don't--
- Shh.

Oh, shit.

Sorry. Fuck you, man.

Every intern on the street
knows that you're stepping up.

Seriously, congrats.

I'm just so pleased
to be out of here.

This place
was essentially a cage to me.

I should take off. Fuck it.

Hey, congrats, man.

- Thanks for coming by.
- Mm-hmm.

Mwah.

Look at all this
fuckin' bullshit!

Mm, yes, mm, very serious, mm.

Love you, brother.

Good.

Right.

Just keep everything
straight, OK?

Good.

By the way, we need
another setting.

Another family member
is coming.

- Marcy.
- What?

I'm heading out,

as ordered.

Great. Till 1:00--

Fine. But in here, yeah?

I don't want
a fuckin' heart attack
from the surprise.

And I don't want anyone
in my face when I come out
of the elevator.

Right. Distance.

Have them here.
And, uh...

- What?
- Not too loud.

Do you want me to email you
the exact details
of the surprise?

Yeah?

- I'll see you later.
- Yeah.

Right. Get your coat.

Yeah, yeah.

Richard, get him his coat.

Of course.

- Just double-check.
- OK.

When were you
gonna look at that speech?

I'll be back by Sunday night
so I'll look at his speech
with him then, OK?

OK, but his office
wants the poll numbers
by the preekend.

The "preekend"?
What the fuck's a "preekend"?

Preekend is Friday.

If he wants them by Friday,
can he not say Friday?

Thursday lunch
through Friday afternoon
is the preekend.

Oh, fine. Get Rennie
to look at the numbers.

Shiv.

This is
a fuckin' disaster.

I got to
strategize my gift.

What can I get him
he'll love?

I don't know. My dad
doesn't really like things.

He doesn't like things?

No, not really.

It needs to say
that "I respect you,

but I'm not awed by you.

And that I--
I like you,

but I need you to like me
before I can love you."

So what says that?

Just, look, everything
that you get him

will mean an equal amount
of nothing,

so make sure it looks like
10 to 15 grand's worth
and you're good.

Will you come in here
and help me?

Yes.

Please help me.

Yes. Get him a watch.

If we go stupid on the stock,

what does a really sexy package
look like? Hmm?

He's probably illiquid, right?

So, what, we throw in
another ten million?

Might need
to throw in a blow job, too.

I'll throw in a blow job.

I'll throw in a blow job.

I'll throw in a reach-around.

Hell, I'll even cup his balls.

Dad.

I thought you'd be

in St. Barts by now.

- How's it goin'?
- Good.

Uh, yeah.
Fine. Good.

Uh, why are you...

Are we OK?

Yeah, it's just
some paperwork.

What, ahead of
the announcement?

Putting Marcy on the trust.
It's...bullshit.

I, uh, I just felt
like checkin' in.

Oh. Yeah, fine.

- So this is just the trust?
- Yeah.

Doesn't affect me stepping up?

No, no, no, no, no.
I think I told you about it.

Is that--

Sorry, Dad, I'm kind of
in the middle of--

Do you need--
Do I need to lawyer
all this?

It's housekeeping.

Fine. Yeah. Yeah.
Marcy's fine by me.

I mean, the others
might not feel the same, but...

I'll deal with that.

So, I'll see you in...

Yeah, look, Dad, on lunch.

I really want to be with you,
but the deal--

- Son.
- You know.

It's your call.

Just priorities.

There'll be plenty more.

Uh-oh. Wheat.

Bye, Frank.

All right, amigo.

I have five farms,
and underneath all my farms

runs a big, giant aquifer
that's like an underground lake.

- That's so cool!
- I have pumping rights.

That means I get
to take the water.

- That's so cool!
- And it's very important

because someday
water's gonna be
more precious than gold

and people
are gonna kill each other
to try to get that water.

Oh, hey, hey,
Tom, don't, don't.

- Don't listen to him.
- Right, right, sorry.

But I'm gonna
have the water.

And I'll share with you.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- How are you?
- Good.

- How are you?
- Good. You look great.

- What a beautiful color.
- Thanks. Same.

- Thank you.
- Love that.

Thanks.

- Hi, Tom.
- Hey, Marcia, how are you?

- Nice to see you.
- Nice to see you.

- How are you?
- Very good.

Hey, Global Tom.
How you shaking?

You still fucking shit up
for us?

Still cleaning up
your mess, pal.

Yeah, right.

- Hey, sis.
- Hi.

Politics still boring
the living shit out of you?

Yeah, you know,
I'm burying the bodies,
counting the cash.

Look at you.
You like, you know,
an actual human person.

- Well, thanks, buddy.
- Mm-hmm.

- Hi.
- Oh, what is that?

Date Rape by Calvin Klein?

Yeah, you wish.

"You wish"?

- Mr. Roy!
- Mr. Roy, please!

Mr. Roy. Over here.
One shot, please.

Say, guys,
can we back off?

- How 'bout a smile?
- Guys, back off. Private event.

Logan, Logan, you going today?
Is that right? Is that right?

- Back off, please.
- Fuck off.

- Handle that, will ya?
- Just one shot!

Mr. Roy.

Hi. Hello. Hello there.

Whoa. Can I help you, sir?

Yeah, I'm actually--
I'm actually here to see you.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa!

Get your hands back!

Who are you?

- What are you doing?
- Greg! I'm Greg!

I'm Marianne's Greg.
Your nephew?

- You know this guy?
- My Mom called Marcia

and I talked to that guy
and he said that I could go up.

- We're good?
- Right.

I didn't know you were coming.

- Yeah, you did.
- Sorry about that, guy.

- I think you did.
- You all right?

- Sorry about that.
- I hope it's OK.

I wanted to say happy birth--

Happy birthday
and many happy returns.

Oh, thank you.

I suppose you better come up.

He's a very good bodyguard.

Folks, he's back!

He's back. Find a place.
Hide for the surprise. Come on.

Oh, we're not surprising him,
are we?

- Yeah.
- Oh, he's gonna love this.

Think last time I surprised him,

he took a swing at me.

You might know this,
but I got a little bit of help,

and I got onto
the international
management training program?

The theme park tour?

And I was very into it?

And...I got sick.

Out of Doderick's eyeholes.

Surprise!

Great. Excellent. Wonderful.

Go ahead. Go ahead.

Hi. Hi.

OK. OK. Give me room.
Give me room.

Thank you. Thank you.
What a surprise.

- Marcia.
- What?

What did I say?
I said nobody by the elevator.

And what do I find?
Everybody's by the elevator.

- It's a surprise.
- Oh, a surprise.

Give me that.

In the office, please.

Connor, Primo!
How are you?

Good. Excellent, Pa.
Here you go.

Ah.

Roman! Romulus!

Look at you!
You look fantastic!

Yeah, of course.

Happy birthday.

Siobhan. Sweetheart.

Happy birthday.

Where's Tom?

He's here.
He's just there.

Oh, well, never mind.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Everybody, this is...

Craig, by the way.

Cousin Craig.

"Craig"? It's Greg. N-No?

Yeah. Greg.

People sometimes, like,
mistakenly call me Craig, too,

- so I'll answer to both.

Here. This is just a token
of my very real and enduring
admiration, in the hope--

Kendall?

You came?

Yeah, of course.

- Happy birthday, Dad.
- Uh-huh.

- Hey, Marcy.
- Hi.

- How are you?
- Big day.

Congratulations...
you bastard.

- Congratulations. Good luck.
- Thanks.

Hey. Hey, Kendall.

- How's it goin'?
- So! What's the news?

- Yeah, good, good.
We're at the one-yard line.

I'm just gonna--
This is important.

Uh, sorry, guys,
I'll be right back.

Excuse me. Hello.

I hear you went down?
Did you go down?

Oh, yeah, I did.

Not so good.

It's a shitshow.

Just gotta get somewhere quiet.

Yeah, I got news.

Hey, talk to me.

Yeah, PPG Bank
have got their nose in,

might be rustling up
another bid.

Word's out. We gotta move.
What do you wanna do?

I'm gonna call you back
in five.

- I'm not losing this deal.
- All right.

We call PPG, we offer
to cut them in on the financing

if they make the other bid
fuck off.

Great idea, Ken,
great idea.

Boom. Kendall takes over.
Boom. Acquisition.

That's how it's done.

Hey, you know, I wanted
to talk to you about Tom.

He thinks he might
be ready for the parks,

- you know, globally and--
- Look, Dad,

we should get this
somewhere ambient.

- You want to?
- Connor. How are you?

- How's the ranch?
- Oh, perfect.

The light pollution
is practically zero,

so, you know, that's nice.

- Hey.
- Oh, wonderful.

What is it?

- Well...
- Oh, yes, yes.

It's a--
It's a goo.

It's a fucking goo?

It's perfect.

It's sourdough starter.

Amazing.

I thought that you might
like to make something.

Ah, great.

Yeah, OK, you shouldn't
have opened it. OK?

Never mind, forget it.

It was an idea.
I thought you might like it.

I do. I do.

I just don't know
what the fuck it is.

It's sourdough starter

to make bread without yeast--
the old way.

Oh. Oh, OK.

Old bread. Thank you.

It's very kind.
Thank you very much.
- You bet.

Be nice.

How's it lookin'?

Looking good.

I'll keep you posted.

I just checked with Frank,
and the holidays mean

the board might be
kinda hard to get together,

so if it's cool
I've scheduled a call at 4:00?

Then we can
issue the release?

Uh-huh. You did?

Yeah. Is that OK?

Hey.

You go on.

I'm not going.

- Hey. Give Daddy a hug.
- Hi, Daddy.

Sorry we're late.

No, no, you're not even.
Don't worry.

Twenty's the margin of error.

Hey, sorry I haven't Skyped
with you guys in a couple days.

I've been super busy.
You feel good?

- I'm good.
- OK.

You see Isla up there?
Your friend Isla?

You guys wanna go see her,
maybe make a drawing for Grandpa
for his birthday?

Sorry, one second.

It's OK. Oh, uh,

I got your message.
That's fine.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

It's just as this
all goes through,

next two weekends
will be kinda crazy.

But then once it's done,
it would be great if--

Yeah, no, it's fine.
Bank the weekends,
spend them later.

OK. I can come up to you.

Maybe if you want, we could
grab dinner for the hand-over?

Ugh. What, like two weekends?
Um...

No? Are you--
Is that not--

Are you seeing someone?

Yeah.

I am.

And I'm just hoping this one
doesn't leave coke smeared
all over the kids' iPads.

All right, that's fair.

- Oh, God.
- It was three years ago, but--

Kendall, I'm fucking with you.

It's OK, it's OK.
You're good.

This is a big day.
Coronation day.

- Yeah.
- Hey, you deserve this.

Seriously.
After everything.

Guys, lunch in ten.

Listen, just
two minutes before lunch
in the sitting room.

Kids. Can you
give me two minutes.

Got a speech.

- So, Uncle Logan, can I--
- Not now.

Sorry, sir. Sir, sir, just,
I need your attention, please.

About the--
what I was talking
about earlier,

the management
training program?

I need to get back in.

- You're out?
- Yes.

There was an issue,
and I talked to my mom

who talked to my grandfather
and said that I can come to you

and-- and iron it out.

I'll do anything
for my brother.

Oh, that's-- that's nice.

And I'm gonna work 100%--

All he needs to do is just ask.

My grandfather?

I mean, you two
don't talk so much.

Right?

Anything.

Just get him to ask me.

Fuck!

Ah.

- Dad.
- Yes.

Yeah, what's the deal?

So...

On the family trust,
which will decide the situation

in the event
of my unlikely demise,

I'm going to add Marcy
to myself and you four.

Whoa. OK.

And my seat
also to go to her
on my death.

What? Wait, that gives her
double voting weight.

Uh-huh. So I've got
some paperwork--

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What?

So Marcia will have two votes
when you--

"If" he--

Well, no, Rome, it's not an if.

Well, excuse me
if I don't want him to--

Well, it's not really what
we want in this case, Rome.

Kendall's already signed,
but if I can get you all to--

Two votes? I don't think
I was aware of that when I--

Read the small print, asshole.

I mean, this looks...

I'm gonna have to talk
to my lawyers, just for
all the implications.

Of course.

Just to get the full picture.

Sure, take a beat.

But look,
I love the bread-- goo--

but this is the present
I really want.

By 4:00, good?

Oh, also, I already
mentioned to Kendall,

despite the chatter
and all things considered,

I'm going to give it
a couple of years.

As in?

I'll stay in situ.

As chairman, CEO,
head of the firm.

Dad, wh-- you--you what?

I just said, son, or were you
not listening, as usual?

But I'm-- You're not-- What?

It's no big deal.
I'm staying on.

- We can discuss the details.
- You didn't tell me.

We can announce
you're in pole position,

pending events,
a move up or whatever.

- "Pending events"?
- OK, come on, let's eat.

Dad, wait.

Oh, fuck!

I don't know what you're
fucking laughing about!

I'm not even laughing. What?!

Fuck. What the fuck.

I mean, he can't just...

Right?

He's gonna blow
the firm's credibility.

Did he look OK to you?

Oh, come on!
Ken, this is typical. It's Dad.

I'm out, OK?

I'm not playing.

Whatever you three decide, goes.

- Goodbye.
- Connor.

On the trust, I refuse to play.

I don't want to engage.
I'm water, I flow.

This doesn't stand, right?

I...

Oh, fucking shrug?
You're fucking shrugging me?

Oh.

Are you texting?
Dude, what are you--

Hey, hey!

- Are you telling?
- Are you fucking serious?

- What, are you 14? Private.
- Hey, this stays in here.

- OK? This is a lockdown.
- We all need advice, man.

Advice? What?
You're gonna give a double vote

to a power-hungry maniac

who will do
fuck-knows-what with it

because she's got our dad's dick
in some Super Max pussy grip

and she's juicing him
before he croaks?

Guys? Lunch is coming up.

Sorry, I don't mean
to be strict.

Can you give us a minute,
please? Thank you.

Hey. So...you fucked me.

I changed my mind, Kendall.

When?
When, exactly.

'Cause it feels
like you fucked me.

It's me.
It's mainly me.

But you--

Three years ago,

you were still
in the nuthouse.

Rehab, Dad.
It's called rehab.

And I'm in recovery.

It's all good.

I'm just concerned
you might be soft, as yet.

S-Soft? Are you kidding?

I did a fucking year
in Shanghai.

I hear you let the guy
from the website trash-talk you

and you just let him come.

It's not a website.

And I was being professional.

I hear it played weak.
Conflict averse.

I wasn't about to get into
a fucking big dick competition.

OK?

I hear you bent for him.

Wha-- I what?

I hear you bent for him
and he fucked you.

Well, no, actually.

I know that you've
read a lot of books

about business management
and this and that,

but you know what?

What?

Sometimes it is
a big dick competition.

OK. OK. So that's it?

So I should have shouted
at some guy, but I didn't.

So you've ripped up 18 months
of corporate strategy?

And you never lawyered
the trust change.

I trusted my father.
That's a black mark?

It's an accumulation.

You left the room. The deal.

To come to my Dad's
fucking birthday party

'cause we don't know
how many more there'll be!

Sorry.

So come on.

When will you be ready?

To step down?

I don't know.

Five?

Five years?

Ten?

Ten! Dad? Seriously!

It's my fuckin' company.

Yeah, it is
your fucking company,
and you know what?

You're running it
into the fucking ground.

You spend all your time
on costs--

where's the vision?
You're off the beat.

Where's the growth?
All our graphs go down.
All of them.

Is that why you're
paying a billion dollars
for a gay little website?

It is not a fucking website!

It's a portfolio
of online brands
and digital video content

and it's part of an
upstream investment strategy to
save us, if you'll just let me.

Do you want to hit me,
is that it?

Huh?

Go on.

Go on.

Give it your best shot.

Dad, come on.
What are you doing?

Are you gonna fuckin' cry?

Kendall,
are you fuckin' crying?

You know, this has been
floated already?

There's fucking paps outside.
I'm getting asked for quotes.

Fuck them.

Yeah, 'course, "fuck 'em."

Great, great
media strategy, Dad.

Great business strategy.

- The world is changing--
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, everything changes.

The studio was gonna tank
when I bought it,

everyone was gonna stay home
with video tapes.

But guess what?
No! They wanna go out.

No one was gonna
watch Network,

except you give it zing
and they do.

You make your own reality.

And once you've done it,
apparently,

everybody's of the opinion
it was all so fucking obvious.

Lunch!

Come on. Find your places. Sit.

Please give me my seating plan.

This is confusing. Sorry.

She was drunk and sitting
in Gore Vidal's lap.

She's very funny.

- Your mom's very funny.
- Who's Gore Vidal?

She's the one, you know,
with the hair, and she
usually wears the clothes?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Yeah, no,
I remember your daughter.

Marcy. This was delicious.
Thank you.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah, the whole day.
Really thoughtful.

It's been great.

Thank you very much.

You're a suck-up.

I'm happy to have you.

"You are so swell,
Double Vote Power Mom!"

You know what?
Fuck you.

Yeah, if you'll excuse me...

Logan Roy.

Born in Dundee, Scotland,
80 years ago today,

raised in Quebec by an uncle
with a print shop and a few
advertising billboards

and an aunt
with a herd of cattle.

Logan himself has made
a decent way for himself
these past 60 years.

Fifth largest media conglomerate
in the world.

A pal to prime ministers,
a truth teller to presidents.

He's tough, he's wily,

but he's always true
to his word.

I arrived to give him
legal advice 30 years ago,

and I never got out the door.

And since that day,
I'm proud to call him a friend.

So, let's raise a toast.

Logan Roy.

Logan Roy.

Thank you.

So, I think it's time
to play the game.

We're playing the game?

Well, yes.

It's my birthday, so yes,
we're playing the game.

Do we have to play the game?

What's the game?

What's the game?

What's the game?

Nice day!
You OK, Greg?

Sure. I'm not...

Is there room
in there?

Hop in.

I'm sorry
if it's a crush.

It's fine.

Oh, um, yeah,

I was just talking
to my grandpa.

Uh-huh.

And he said happy birthday.

Did he?

Well, no, not technically,

but he's aware
it's your birthday.

But it occurred to me,
talking to him,

that him having his seat
on the holding company still,
from historically,

now, that must be suboptimal,
in some ways.

But if I could--
if he was willing
to give his seat

to someone a bit
more perspicacious,

someone who
could learn the ropes,
running a theme park, say.

Running the parks?

Just a little guy.
Learning, you know?

I mean, could that be...?

You scratch my back, I--

I'm not gonna say
I could scratch yours.

It's be too considerable
of a space.

But is there
an angle there, perhaps?

So...

what're you thinking, son?

On the thing?

She's very smart.

- She'd make good picks.
- Family first.

I'm sure. I'm sure.

But what's your cut?

Um...No.

No. God no, Dad.
No, it's your firm.

Like, it's not
what's in it for me.

But you know, like,
what is in it for me?

I'd love to get you back in.

Sure. No, sure.

It's just it was
tough last time.

It was very tough
with Frank over me in LA.

Frank's very important
to the firm.

Oh, no, sure. No, of course,
I understand that.

It's just I had a lot of ideas
at the studio.

As you know, I'm quite
an innovative thinker,

and I was met with
a lot of resistance.

Is this still the film thing?

No-- Oh, what, Robot Olympics?

No, Dad, it's not about
one fantastic idea.

It was a culture.
There were many of them.

What would be your dream outfit?

I wanna run
the damn show.
I do.

And until it opens up,
Chief Operating Officer.

But I guess...

I guess that's Frank, huh?

- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.

You OK?

Sure. You?

The boys are here!

Just right this way.

That was
my first helicopter ride.

It was so crazy.

It goes so much faster
than I thought.

Hey, it's good to see you.

OK, let's get a glove.

Let's have
a second.

What time is it?

Ah!

Oh!

- Toss it over here!
- Come on back, come on back.

Now that things
are getting shaken up,
would you come inside?

Dad, I'm not just playing
with the politics.

Oh, no, of course.
Politics.

Not to be crude about it,
but politics is what
comes out the asshole.

Wouldn't you rather be up front,
feeding the horse?

Well, Joyce,
she's got that
Air Force One look.

So... to come back,

I'd want the top job.

And if that was difficult?

Overseeing everything outside
the US, parks and all.

What, like...
Tom's boss?

Yeah. Stepping stones.

What's the rescue pup
looking for?

He screwed up. Needs help.

He might fit in eventually
to the parks.

Do you think Tom
can handle the competition?

Mr. Roy. All set.

Mm.

There you go.

Hey.

So, just wanted
to give this to you

in person just to say,
you know, happy birthday.

Hold that, will you?

So...

there we go.

Oh! Mm.

It's just a Patek Philippe.
So...

Yeah, it says "Patek Philippe."

Yeah. I know.

It's incredibly accurate.

Every time you look at it,

it tells you
exactly how rich you are.

That's very funny.

Did you rehearse that?

No. Well, no. Yes. But--

OK. Yeah.

Here.

OK, let's play ball.

So, what are you thinking?

We say no , all of us,
on the trust. Full block.

stability.
Stick to the plan.

I take over and we just--

you two, under me,
co-presidents.

- Under you?
- Uh-huh.

But, you know, three.
The power of three?

Interesting.

- Can we think about it?
- Of course.

I thought about it. Fuck you.

Go, Rava!

Psych your mind!

Go!

That's a strike.

- Got her looking!
- That's good pitching.

- Change sides!
- Hey, man.

It was balletic, though,

kinda came around..

I hear you're the new kid. Yeah?

Oh, well, I mean,
I'm just kinda starting--

- I hear you're coming in.
- Yeah.

Yeah, eyes on the prize.

Well, I have got
my eye on you.

Yeah, you need any help,

seriously, any help,
any advice, just, you know,

don't fuckin' bother, OK?

I'm only razzing you, cuz.

You're dreaming, really.

I'm razzing you.

- OK.
- That was a joke.

No, really.

You know, the thing,

I may look really fun,

- you know?
- Yeah.

But the thing about me

is that I'm a terrible,
terrible prick.

I got you again.
I just got you again.

Fuck me, man, your face.

Pals. Yes?

Yeah.

Would you kiss me?

- What? Kiss you?
- Would you?

If I asked you to?

- Would I kiss you?
- If I told you to? Huh?

I don't--

Come on.

I'm joking. I'm joking.

- All right, Siobhan.
- Bring it!

Batter swing!

Just like that!

Oh!

Hold up. Hang on, hang on.
Sorry.

- Apologies.
- Boo! Boo.

Honey, boo him.

- Yeah. OK. Sorry. I gotta run.
- Boo!

It's the crunch.

Frank, will you be
link man here?

Uh-huh.
- Dad?

Of course.

Come here, sweetie.

Well, if Kendall's going,
we need one more
to make it fair!

Keep it up, slugger.

The kid. Hey! Hello!

Hello! Kid. Yeah. Yes.

You. You. You wanna play?

Dad, can he play?

Yes. Sure.

Thank you, Dad.

Yeah, hey, what's up?

I just got some background

for the story
I heard you had cookin'.

That's right.
Yeah, I know Kendall Roy.

And he's saying Logan's lost it.

Yeah, that's right.

Some board members
and senior management,

they want him out.

That's what I'm hearing from
people close to the family.

Those disloyal fucks.

Just-- Just say source
close to the family.

- That's high.
- Too high.

You're gonna be fine.
Relax, don't worry about it.

- Can you hit a ball?
- Yeah.

Great, because I will give you

one million dollars
if you hit a home run.

- I'm dead serious, OK?
- For real?

Yes, for real.
A million dollars.

Honey, where's the...
your bag?

Hey, I'll do it for a million.
Give me that.

Just kidding.
You're good.

All right.

I don't know why you're smiling.
I am dead serious.

I will give you
one million dollars, cash,

for a home fucking run.

Rome,
don't be an asshole.

I'm not being an asshole.
I want him incentivized.

This is fun.

It's a game. Jeez,
stop being so serious.

Huh?

Witnesses.

Good luck. I believe in you.

All right, let's do this!

One million dollars.

OK, come on.

- That's it.
- Run, kid!

- That's a hit.
- That's a damn hit.

Come on, Shiv!
I'm here, Shiv!

- Come on!
- Tom!

Come on!
Come on, run faster!

- No! No!
- Bad luck, kid.

Oh, no! You were so damn close!

That was so close!

Oh, my goodness!

Oh, that is so sad!
Oh, I'm sorry.

I can't give it to you.
That would have counted,
by the way.

That was almost a home run,
if you went all the way around.

But it was
a really good effort.

Really. Quite tremendous.

So take this back to your life.

It's a quarter million. Enjoy.

Son...magnificent effort.

- Thank you.
- Magnificent.

- Come here.
- It's OK.

Hey, Lawrence.

Sorry the other offer
fell through.

I don't know
what happened.

But we fattened
the goose nice now, right?

The number is 140.

Cash, with
a stock alternative.

You're on our board.

Take the stock, you'll own
a nice piece of us.

Well, that is
an appealing package.

It is, yeah.
It's appealing.

You better play nice, though.
Because I'm the whole company.

Yeah, I think you're
gonna stick around

because I'm gonna stuff
your mouth with so much money

you're gonna shit
gold figurines.

Non-disclosure agreement.
Non-voting shares.
Non-compete.

I'm going to lock you
in a golden cage, fuck you
with a silver dildo,

and pay you so much
you sing whatever song I want.

- Easy. You still need me
to recommend this.
- No, I don't.

This is a deal
so fucking good
you have to take it,

or we'll see you in court.

Dude.

How you doing, sir?
How's everything?

I'm Colin.
I work for Mr. Logan Roy
and the Roy family.

We'd like to keep this quiet
today, if you'll agree to that.

We'd like to have you sign
a non-disclosure agreement.

- You wanted five?
- Oh, Frank. Yeah.

I've been thinking

if now isn't a time
for a new role for you.

OK. As in what sort?

Light duties.

Light duties.

Are you kidding me?
Logan. Me?

There should be
a press release
on your phone.

Proof it.

You might want
to give it a bit of color,
it's quite dry.

That's it? To me. That's it?
After 30--

Jesus Christ. Here?

You are what you do, Logan.
You know that?

In the end,
you're just what you do.

Don't worry,
you'll get your nut.

Connor!

Shiv! Roman!

The other helicopter.

Colin, see to it.

Well, officially
the deadline has passed.

So... what do you say, kids?

What's the Frank situation?

Frank's out of the picture.

Yeah?

Frank's dead.
Tom's stepping up,

and Shiv's thinking
about a new role.

So, are we good?

Um... Shiv?

Rome?

Con?

I'm with these two.
What they say goes.

Our position is
this doesn't quite work for us.

At present.

You what?

It's not
sufficiently attractive
as a proposition.

Are you fuckin' joking?

We get that. We do.

And we would love to help.
I would love to help.

Then help.

But why would I
when I'm giving away power?

Why would I do that?

So...
so Kelly, uh...

Who's Kelly?

Kelly will set up some figures.

He should see that, uh...

Dad?

- Dad?
- Yeah, he--

Dad, it's just
a first position.
- Dad?

...get a grasp of what-- what--

- Dad! Dad!
- Dad!

Dad!

- Dad! Dad!
- Dad! Dad!

Just, yeah. A hospital.
Take us to a hospital.

OK, yeah, now!

Has he fainted?

- He fainted? He's hot.
- He's really hot. I don't know.

- Kendall?
- Yeah.

Have you heard the news?

What?

Deal.

It's all very exciting.
I can't wait to--

- We got a deal?
- Yeah.

- Serious?
- Yes?

Oh, dude.

Listen, I think...

I think you've made
a really great decision

and I hope there's
no hard feelings over
all the shit-talking.

Oh, no, no,
it's cool.

It's cool.

So, the news
I was talking about

is that your dad just
had a brain hemorrhage.

What?

Yeah. I'm so sorry.

- Are you--
- But...

you just invited me
into the chicken coop.

And without Daddy around
to protect you,

I'm gonna eat you all.

One by fucking one.

Hello?

Kendall. Thank God.

We've been trying
to reach you. Um...

Uh-huh.

...Dad is in the hospital.

He's...

We were in the helicopter,
and we got here really fast,

- but they think--
- Uh-huh.

We don't know.
They think he's had
a brain hemorrhage.

If you could get here
really soon,

that'd be good.

I'm sorry.

Um...

Most first-time homebuyers
would love to live
in Newport Beach.

But average home price
in Newport Beach
is over $1 million.

So, most of the homes...

There is a degree
of stock market volatility

As Waystar Royco's chairman
is reported to be

in critical condition

following a major
medical incident...