Stumptown (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - Bad Alibis - full transcript
Hoffman tries to find out where Kane is hiding without the knowledge of his captain. Grey does whatever he can to get free from the grasp of Kane. Dex has a very important meeting that could very well change her life.
Previously on "Stumptown"...
I'm coming out of a long-term thing.
What, like parole?
- How long were you guys together?
- Four years.
But also, I really did do time.
I need to get my 1,500 hours
of apprenticeship
so I can be certified here in Oregon.
You're green, but you could be good, Dex.
Why is Hoffman asking about you
and a dead guy named Jack Feeney?
Feeney was in prison with Grey McConnell.
Guess who else was on his tier.
Wallace Kane.
Feeney ends up dead.
A week later, Kane breaks out.
I need a whiskey...
and a good chiropractor.
Kane is planning something
here in Portland.
He's got some unfinished business.
- How do you know this?
- Because I'm in his head!
Do you remember that trip to Hawaii
that you wouldn't shut up about?
Take it.
I put Wallace Kane away.
If I was under his thumb, I'd be afraid.
Aah!
[GRUNTING]
You owe me a half a million dollars.
[AIR HORN BLOWS]
[SPORTS ANNOUNCER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
Don't say it.
- You look funny.
- [CHUCKLES]
Finish your Pop-Tarts, okay?
Blueberry is better.
Well, pumpkin was on sale.
Why are you dressed like that?
I'm trying to look professional.
I have a very important meeting today.
With who?
Uh, Janet Withers, um, from the DPSST,
the Department of Public
something or something, whatever.
So you can be a P.I.?
Yeah. Yeah. If I get my certification,
that means blueberry Pop-Tarts
all day, any day.
- Okay, can you turn this off?
- [VIDEO GAME BEEPS, CONTROLLER CLATTERS]
I'm gonna drop you off at the bar.
Did you try Grey to let him know
we're on our way?
- He didn't pick up.
- Okay.
Well, he's probably busy.
He always picks up.
We'll try him on the way, all right?
Come on.
So, we got to break into the vault
and then bust into the safe?
That's a two-day job. Right, Grey?
How should I know?
I haven't even seen the thing.
I'm not going back to prison for Kane.
Will you guys help me
if I pump the brakes here?
Hell, yeah.
This is nuts.
Come on, Grey. Back us up on this thing.
Come on. Both of you guys chill.
Look, you know I got no beef with you,
but I'm looking out for myself.
Gentlemen... we're in business.
10 years ago,
I started a beautiful tunnel.
Amazingly, it's still intact.
So, basically, we are on the 5-yard line.
We will be in Las Vegas by midnight,
at which point in time,
I will be in libertine mode.
[JACKHAMMER RATTLES IN DISTANCE]
What?
The boys and I have been talking.
I love where this is headed.
Why're we rushing this thing?
Ugh!
[GRUNTING]
[HANK COUGHS, GROANS]
Good question.
The reason we're rushing
is because I'm an escaped convict,
and it's not really in my best interest
to spend too much time
in any one location.
I mean, I would love
to just chill here in Portland
for a few weeks,
hit up some microbreweries,
but that's just not in the cards.
So, anyone else have anything
to share with the group?
Comments?
Concerns?
Greyson?
Are you done shaking your ass, man?
'Cause apparently, I got a job to
do, and I'd like to do it.
I'm sick of watching this.
He's the only one
I let talk to me like that.
I don't know why.
♪
Move your ass.
[SIREN WAILS]
[LOCK DISENGAGES]
Grey. Grey.
Grey, are you here?
Well, he probably overslept.
Let me call him.
- [CELLPHONE CHIMES]
- Oh, look, I have a voicemail from him.
You never check your messages.
GREY: Dex, I hate to lay this on
you, but I had an emergency.
M-My aunt in Houston is really sick.
I had to catch a flight last minute.
Look, can you watch the bar
until I get back?
A few days, tops.
Your brother will show you what to do.
- Please. I owe you.
- [SIGHS]
Aunt? What aunt?
He has a... He has a cousin in Tacoma,
an uncle in, um... in Connecticut,
but I've never heard of
an aunt in Houston.
We open in an hour.
"We"? Buddy, I have
an interview to go to, okay?
I need help.
Yeah. Okay.
Uh, maybe Janet Withers can come here.
Right?
So, what should we do first?
- Work.
- Work. Okay.
Stools?
Yes.
[METAL SCRAPING]
[METAL THUDS]
♪
[GRUNTS]
In case I neglected to mention,
it's good to see you.
I mean, you could have called first.
[CHUCKLES] Next time.
Oh, there's not gonna be a next time.
That's what I'm saying.
As soon as I crack this safe, I'm done.
Fair enough.
Though, I do find it strange
you're about to break into a vault
and you don't even ask what's in it.
'Cause I don't care what's in it.
I do.
That's why I only hire
the best guys for the job.
That is every single toy you asked for.
[DIALING]
[CELLPHONE BEEPS]
♪
[LINE RINGING]
[CLICK]
So far, so good with us.
You?
Yeah. I'm here.
Grey gives you any trouble,
just let me know.
All right.
Sharkey, can you put that
wherever you're supposed to?
SHARKEY: Yep. Got it.
- Hello.
- Hey.
Can I get you something?
Yeah.
I've got some time to kill.
Mm. Spicy Bloody,
extra horseradish, three olives.
♪
Yep. Coming right up.
Thanks.
♪
[PEN CLICKS]
♪
♪
DARIUS: I think he knows.
HOFFMAN: We would have heard something
if Kane was suspicious.
I'm scared.
I'm scared.
Darius, shake that off, man.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
[SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE]
DETECTIVE LEE: Here.
I appreciate this.
Cosgrove finds out
you are not in Hawaii and that I
knew, I could lose my job.
- Your secret's safe with me.
- Yeah.
What's the latest on Kane?
[SIGHS] Marshals are convinced
that he's in Canada.
They're coordinating efforts
with the CSIS and the RCMP.
- That doesn't add up.
- I know.
He has no money, no resources.
All of his connections
are here in Portland.
- [SIGHS]
- What about McConnell?
Yeah, he wasn't at the bar.
Some lady was running the place.
I've seen her at the station.
- Dax?
- Dex?
- Yeah.
- Did you talk to her?
I got my own work to do, Miles.
I'm not even supposed to be here.
Neither are you.
♪
[LINE RINGS]
[CELLPHONE BEEPS]
Grey never turns his phone off.
Something's up.
It's from Edgar.
- Who's Edgar?
- The chef.
- He quit?
- He quit.
Okay. Well, it's burgers and fries.
How hard can that be, right?
♪ I just wanna treat you better ♪
We need a new chef.
WOMAN: [SINGING IN SPANISH]
- [CELLPHONE CHIMES]
- Yo, check it out.
C.J. McCollum from the Blazers...
I know who he is, dummy.
He just liked us on Insta.
Seriously?
Yeah. You know what I heard?
The food critic from The Outlook...
I guess that's a newspaper?
Yes, it's a newspaper. What about him?
I heard he might be sniffing around here,
looking to do a review.
You're blowing up, dude. [CHUCKLES]
I've outgrown this place.
- Don't say it.
- I'm saying it.
How can I spread my wings
when I can barely fit
inside this fishbowl?
[INHALES SHARPLY]
That's two things,
but you get my meaning.
[CELLPHONE VIBRATES, RINGS]
What's up, Dex?
MAN: [RAPPING IN SPANISH]
♪
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
Oh, Took.
- Oh. Bless you.
- TOOKIE: [CHUCKLES]
What is all this?
Welcome to the magic show.
That doesn't answer anything.
These are the ingredients
that are gonna take me
from a taco truck
to my own restaurant [SNIFFS]
To the cover of Food & Wine mag.
Okay. That's great.
I just... You know, I need you
to grill the burgers
and fry the fries.
Mm. No can do. Word is out.
Tonight at the Bad Alibi
is my pop-up debut...
elevated Mexican cuisine.
I'm gonna show the world that
I'm about more than just tacos.
- Yeah. It's just, um...
- Come on.
Let's scratch each other's itch.
Oh, God, you have an ability
to make anything sound gross.
[CHUCKLES]
[METAL GRINDING]
Two hours, man.
You're not even through the lock.
Steel plates, reinforced concrete.
Which means?
It's cross your fingers
I'll be done in four hours.
That's what it means.
Can you just blow the damn thing?
- [GRINDING STOPS]
- Look, if the charges aren't set right,
they're gonna be cleaning
our bodies off the floor
with a squeegee. You understand?
I mean, how many of these
have we done together, man?
Five? Six?
Since when did you get the shakes?
When I had a kid.
- You had a kid?
- A girl. Kami.
- 6 months.
- [LAUGHS]
Wow, man. Congrats.
That's... Hey, man,
it's a big responsibility.
Good on you.
Yeah. Makes you rethink stuff, you know?
- So don't screw up.
- [CHUCKLES]
All right, man.
[GRINDING RESUMES]
All right. Here you are.
It's interesting.
Never had a Bloody Mary with...
What is that, pineapple juice?
It's a work in progress. Aren't we all?
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
Hey, what are you having?
If it's, uh, beer or wine,
there's a 90% chance
I'm gonna get it right.
I'm looking for Dex Parios?
- [TAP SPUTTERS]
- Sorr... Uh, yes, that's me.
I'm Janet Withers, DPSST.
I'm here for your
certification interview.
- Yes. Hi. Sorry.
- Nice to meet you.
Thanks for coming down.
Um, why don't we grab a seat over there?
- Okay.
- Great.
Can I get a water, please?
Yeah, absolutely. Um...
- [TAP HISSING]
- Okay. Come on.
Buddy, you got to take over, okay?
It's not working. It's not coming out.
- It's...
- [TAP SPUTTERS]
You did your apprentice hours
under Arthur Banks?
Yes. Yep.
What would you say
are the top three things
you learned from Arthur?
Honor.
Mm-hmm.
Uh...
integrity.
Mm.
Those are really the two
that we just focused on.
Uh, could I just leave it at two?
Sure.
Do you engage in recreational drug use?
No, ma'am.
Alcohol?
Uh, in moderation. [CHUCKLES]
I-Is that wrong or...
No, no, no, no, no.
I like a Midori sour
as much as the next sailor.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Just not on the job.
Of course.
Have you ever been convicted of a felony?
- No.
- Do you associate with anyone
who's been convicted of a felony?
No.
Why do you want to be
a private investigator?
What?
It's a simple question.
Surely you've thought about it.
Yeah. Of... Of course I have.
Um, uh, deeply, I've considered it.
Um... I just, uh...
I really like helping people?
- Is that a question?
- Um...
'Cause when you're parked outside
a cheap motel on the interstate
six hours into an all-night stakeout,
your bladder's about to explode,
your pee bottle's full,
and you're fresh out of adult diapers,
your car smells like
the five-day-old chalupa
you lost under your seat,
your last client stiffed you,
and you don't know where
the next one's coming from,
I can assure you,
you will be asking yourself
the same question... "Why the hell
would I want to be
a private investigator?"
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
Uh...
I know I'm supposed
to have a good answer,
but I don't.
Um...
The truth is, I, um...
I drink a little bit too much sometimes.
Um, my best friend is a felon,
and I haven't been able
to hold down a real job
in about 10 years.
But this?
This, I'm... I'm good at.
I-I-I don't know why, but I... but I am.
And you seem pretty cynical
about the whole thing,
and maybe one day, I will be, too,
but, um [SIGHS]
From where I'm sitting right now,
that chalupa is smelling
pretty damn good.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
♪ Let's turn the lights down ♪
Yeah. Wrong answer.
[CLEARS THROAT]
It was honest.
♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ Let's turn the lights down ♪
I have everything I need.
And we'll have an answer soon.
So, thank you for your time.
Thank you for coming down.
♪
[SIGHS] Oh, my God.
[CELLPHONE RINGING]
[CELLPHONE BEEPS]
COSGROVE: Miles.
Oh, hey, Lieutenant.
How's Hawaii?
Yeah, no, I just got in.
It's, um... It's something else.
Yeah, it's, uh... Wow.
I c... I know it sounds cliché,
but, uh, yeah, this place is paradise.
- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- You really deserve this trip, Miles.
Yeah, no.
Uh, look, if I could, I'd, uh...
I really wish I could show you this view.
It's, uh... Whew.
Maybe I'll take a picture
and send it to you 'cause it...
- [CELLPHONE BEEPS]
- Damn it.
- Aloha.
- [CELLPHONE BEEPS]
Lieutenant.
Did I think you were gonna go to Hawaii?
No.
What I did believe is that
you'd have enough faith in me
to know that I was looking out for you.
Let me put this guy back in prison.
Are you listening to what I'm saying?
Did you just come here to scold me?
No. I came to take your badge.
- Are you serious?
- You've been digging around.
The brass found out. I told you.
I answer to people, too.
So I'm supposed to just walk away?
♪
You're under review, Miles.
Your badge is on the line.
You go anywhere near this case,
and you could lose it.
♪
- [MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING]
- [SNIFFS]
Adobo.
- Vinegar.
- MAN: Hey. You see who that is?
The acid is on point.
I'm impressed.
- I'm not just a basketball player.
- I know.
C.J. McCollum... king of the mid-range,
also the host of the "Pull Up" podcast.
- I'm a fan.
- That's love. I appreciate that.
But I love food as much
as I love hooping.
♪
[CRUNCHING]
♪
Is this venison?
Goat. The cheek.
It's the most tender cut.
There's something unusual in here.
Braised in beer from a local brewery.
This is a cold-blooded dagger
off the pick-and-roll.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Respect, bro.
I, sir, am humbled.
You mind if I out this on the 'Gram?
Gotta get Dame to come through, too.
Yeah. And tag me on Insta.
- I need the likes.
- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
I got you.
♪
DENTON: Hey, listen.
I want my cut before we leave this place.
That was the deal.
And I'm a man of my word.
♪
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
[GROANS]
[TOOLS THUD]
When Denton's done, he's done.
I'll need help with disposal.
No. I'm not killing anyone.
Hey.
The reason I don't give him
his cut up front
is because you and Feeney blew the money.
So you'll do what I ask when I ask it.
Or I'll have to take something
very dear from you.
♪
[GROANS]
♪ I've got to have it ♪
Hey, buddy, what do you think?
Five letters... young oak.
"Acorn."
"Acorn"?
Nice.
Hi.
Hey.
How's it going?
[EXHALES SHARPLY] Pretty rough.
I just had my P.I. certification
interview,
and I blew it.
Oh, don't sweat it.
I got a job for you.
It's a missing-persons case.
He's in the wind, and I need to find him.
Who?
Grey.
♪
[EXHALES HEAVILY] Are you serious?
Completely.
That bald dude...
I'm pretty sure he's the guy,
the Outlook restaurant critic.
I need you tending bar.
Okay.
Okay, let me, uh, get this clear.
You want me to spy on my best friend?
No, not spy.
I just want you to help me
find out where he is.
Okay. Well, that's easy.
[TAPS TABLE]
[GLASSES CLINKING]
Hey, Ansel.
Where's Grey?
Visiting his sick aunt in Houston.
There you go. Yes. Case closed.
You owe me $500.
Uh, do you really think
he went to Houston?
Can I show you something real quick?
What is it?
Uh, the door.
Get out.
[SIGHS]
Give me 20 minutes back at my apartment.
Please. I'm serious.
If you care about Grey,
you're gonna wanna see
what I have to show you.
♪
Kane protected Grey
and Jack Feeney in prison.
Word from inside is that
both Grey and Feeney
owed Kane for that protection.
Feeney ends up dead.
Two days later, Kane escapes.
Now, I strongly believe
that Grey is with Kane
right now on a job.
[SIGHS]
So you want me to help find Grey
so you can arrest him?
I don't care about Grey. I want Kane.
I told you that he killed
one of my C.I.s 10 years ago.
He had a wife and a one-month-old baby.
You have to find Grey. Now.
Don't make me put that back up, please.
Okay.
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ohh-oh ♪
Tell him this is a churro taco soufflé
with cajeta tapioca cream
and piloncillo syrup.
Churro. Got it.
And finally a soupçon,
as they say in culinary circles,
of my special magic sauce.
Now, you wanna wait until he takes a bite
to make sure he's all good.
But don't let on
that you know he's a food critic.
If he knows we know
that he knows we know,
- he won't review us.
- Give me the plate.
Wait... Go.
♪ Ohhh ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ohh-oh ♪
♪ Just like that ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ohh-oh ♪
♪ Ohh, oh-oh ♪
♪ When I smile to disguise... ♪
That looks good.
Thanks, buddy.
Hey, real quick, kid.
Five letters... Bert's bud.
Ernie.
You're good.
You like it?
Love it.
Say, you're friends with Grey, right?
♪ This tug of war within my soul ♪
♪ Although silent ♪
This will initiate the reaction.
And then we're gonna need
15 feet of clearance for safety.
You're the expert.
And, look, about, uh, Denton...
let me talk to him, okay?
I'm sure he's just a little on edge,
like everybody else,
but you don't have to take him out.
All right.
I appreciate it.
♪
- [CLICK]
- [DIALING]
[LINE RINGING]
[CELLPHONE VIBRATES, BEEPS]
- Hey.
- KANE: Looks like we're gonna need
- a little insurance.
- Mm-hmm.
We need to make sure Grey cooperates.
Yeah. I'll take care of it.
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING]
[CRUNCH]
[SIGHS] This feels weird,
snooping around
in Grey's office with you.
I'm just a client.
Well, I wouldn't
bring my client on a job.
Except this client
just happens to be a cop.
- Yeah. Who I've also hooked up with.
- Your point being?
That it feels weird
snooping around
in Grey's office with you.
Okay, look, you want to protect him.
That's sweet.
Do you know the combination
to this thing?
No, not a clue.
Okay, well, it's usually the birth date
of somebody you care about.
You want to humor me, try yours?
- [SIGHS]
- Come on.
Come on.
[SIGHS]
[DIAL CLICKING]
[SAFE DOOR OPENS]
Adorable.
I tried my brother's.
[CLEARS THROAT]
He owns a bar.
I mean, it's...
it's practically insurance.
Grey is a convicted felon.
It's illegal for him to own a gun.
Well, it's a good thing
we only found bullets.
Which tells me that he probably
has the gun on him,
and if he has the gun on him...
He wouldn't be able to get on a plane
and go to Houston.
There you go.
[SIGHS]
What's all this?
Grey's an explosives expert.
You didn't know that?
What?
N-No, Grey went to prison
for grand theft.
Among other things, yeah.
HOFFMAN: 312 Customs.
You got to be kidding me.
Ex-con named Petey runs it.
He's got a really long rap sheet.
[SIGHS]
DENTON: What's that?
I could use some quiet time.
If I'm risking my neck,
I want to know what's going on.
All right, this is C-4, okay?
And explosives are like dogs.
They need to be told what to do
so they know how to please.
I just need enough to blow open this door
so I can keep what's inside safe.
Hey, Denton, do me a favor.
Okay.
Just quit running your mouth around Kane.
You know something I don't?
You heard what I said, okay?
Just do your job, yeah?
♪
Tookie, man, we're out of cilantro.
That's a disaster.
Dinner's gonna be a mob scene.
Ansel. Ansel?
I need you to make a cilantro run.
- Can you handle that?
- Yes.
Go to Shemanski Market
on West Huber Street.
- Buy up all the cilantro they have left.
- Okay.
- Hurry.
- Okay.
♪
[WINDOW CLICKS, WHIRS]
FRANK: Hey, pal.
Grey called.
He wants me to take you to him.
- He's in Houston.
- Nope.
He's here.
He's planning a surprise party
for your sister.
I'm not supposed to get
in strangers' cars.
I'm not a stranger.
I'm Grey's friend, like you.
Guess that makes us friends,
too, doesn't it?
♪
[LAUGHING] Come on. Let's go.
♪
No. You okay?
Hey, Tookie, where's Ansel?
- Cilantro run. He'll be back in five.
- All right.
Look, I know how hard this can be,
finding out that somebody you trusted
isn't who you thought they were.
No. I know Grey, okay?
He must have gotten
mixed up in something.
[GLASS THUDS]
[SIGHING]
I'm gonna go check out 312.
I'll take a look around Grey's loft.
All right. If you find anything, just...
Yes, I will call you.
I promise.
♪ ...to wait at all ♪
♪ All you said... ♪
♪ I've never read ♪
[SIGHS]
[CASH REGISTER BEEPS]
Where's Grey?
Oh, I'm sorry, buddy.
He's stuck in traffic.
Hey, do you like ice cream sundaes?
'Cause this place makes the best.
Let's grab a booth. Come on.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
This one's great.
♪ ...you read in school ♪
All right.
Oh, real quick.
- [BEEP]
- Say, "Hi, Grey."
Hi, Grey.
Perfect.
[CELLPHONE BEEPS, CLICKS]
Now, don't get yourself
into a lather, Greyson.
Frank's just gonna sit there with him
until he hears back from me.
Whatever you need, Kane.
Well, that's what I figured.
Go make us rich.
♪
[SIGHS]
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF]
[MAN SHOUTS IN DISTANCE, CROW CAWS]
♪
You Petey?
Who's asking?
♪
This man been to see you
in the last 24 hours?
Why don't we take that long,
awkward pause as a yes?
What was he here for?
Car stereo.
♪
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
Since when do you use
pyrotechnic shot shells
to fix stereos?
Shall we just try this again?
What did Grey buy, and how much?
Enough to blow through
the Spalding Bank vault,
except all they keep in there
anymore is bicycles.
So, what vault is our friend headed for?
I didn't ask. He wouldn't have told me.
Obvi.
Obvi?
Teenage granddaughter.
♪
♪ Ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, yeah ♪
♪ There's a flame... ♪
I need to go to the bathroom.
Oh, sure. I'll go with you.
You know...
I'll hold on to your phone.
Wouldn't want you
dropping it in the toilet.
I won't drop it.
I'll take it anyway, just in case.
♪ It's burning for you ♪
♪ Even though... ♪
Hey, kid, that's...
the ladies'.
[TOILET FLUSHES]
[MUSIC CONTINUES, MUFFLED]
[STALL DOOR OPENS]
[CHUCKLING] Oh.
This is the ladies' room, young man.
The men's is right next door.
♪ In my heart ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ And I think it's gonna
tear my heart apart ♪
Oops.
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ So, hey, babe, won't you... ♪
[SIGHS]
[SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE]
♪
♪
[CELLPHONE VIBRATES, RINGS]
[DRAWER CLOSES]
Hello?
WAITRESS: I need to talk to Dex Parios.
Yeah. This is she.
A young man gave me a card, and it says,
"My name is Ansel Parios.
Please call my sister.
Tell her I'm lost and to come get me."
It had this number.
Where is he?
Uh, Pearl's Diner on
Killingsworth Street in Maplewood.
He seems fine. He's with a man.
The man... uh, what does he...
what does he look like?
I don't know. Middle-aged, bald.
♪
- Uh, gray jacket?
- Yeah, that's him.
Okay. I'll be right there.
[THE CARS' "JUST WHAT I NEEDED" PLAYS]
♪
[BRAKES SCREECH LIGHTLY]
[GEARSHIFT CLICKS, CELLPHONE BEEPS]
- [RINGING]
- Hoffman.
Yeah, Hoffman, Pearl's Diner.
Make it quick, okay?
[CELLPHONE BEEPS]
This is the employee entrance.
- Okay. What's your name?
- Henry.
Henry. Okay. Won't happen again.
♪
Uh, hey.
Uh, Henry... the dishwasher...
he told me to come get you.
Said he'd need some help
with the dumpster.
[SIGHS]
[FOOD SIZZLING, INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
♪
- Hi, Dex.
- Hey, buddy. [CHUCKLES]
I'm supposed to get cilantro.
Yeah. I heard. What happened?
Frank said Grey wanted to see me,
but Grey's not here yet.
Yeah. Got it. Okay. I'll tell you what.
Why don't you wait for me in the car?
It's in the parking lot, okay?
Frank and I are just gonna have
a little... talk.
What about the cilantro?
Don't worry about the cilantro.
♪
I can stay with you.
No. Uh, I got it, okay?
Just go wait in the car.
Is Grey okay?
Grey is fine. I promise.
I'll be out in a minute, all right?
- Okay.
- Okay.
- I love you.
- I love you, too, buddy.
[CHUCKLES]
♪
Just keep your hands on the table, okay?
- Where's Grey?
- I have no idea.
Well, you better tell me where he is,
or there's gonna be
a little trouble downtown.
He's with Kane, settling a debt.
I was supposed to hold on
to you for insurance,
but the kid was the next best thing.
WAITRESS: Everything good here?
Yeah. It's wonderful. Thank you.
Are you the person I called on the phone?
I sure am, yeah.
And everything is, uh, hunky-dory.
[CHUCKLES]
[TABLE THUDS]
[GUN COCKS]
All right.
We're walking out of here
through the back.
We're gonna get into your car,
and you and the kid are coming with me.
Whatever you say, okay?
After you.
♪ I don't mind you comin' here ♪
♪ And wastin' all my time ♪
♪ 'Cause when you're standin'
oh so near ♪
Keep walking.
♪ I kinda lose my mind ♪
Ha!
[BOTH GRUNTING]
♪ It's not the perfume that you wear ♪
♪ It's not the ribbons in your hair ♪
[GUN CLATTERS]
♪ And I don't mind you comin' here ♪
♪ And wastin' all my time ♪
♪ I guess you're just what I needed ♪
♪ Just what I needed ♪
Aaah!
♪ I needed someone to feed ♪
[BOTH GRUNTING]
♪ I guess you're just what I needed ♪
♪ Just what I needed ♪
♪ I needed someone to bleed ♪
Aah!
♪ I guess you're just what I needed ♪
♪ Just what I needed ♪
[GAGGING]
♪ I needed someone to feed ♪
♪ I guess you're just what I needed ♪
♪ Just what I needed ♪
- [GROANING]
- [PANTING]
♪ I needed someone to bleed ♪
[DOOR SQUEAKS]
[GASPS]
Hey, don't freak out.
- Uh...
- Okay?
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
Take this, okay?
Keep everybody out of here.
For how long?
Give me five minutes.
Eight, tops.
[EXHALES SHARPLY] Okay.
[KEYPAD BEEPS]
Get ready.
What's happening?
The safe's about to explode.
Oh, man. Hold on.
[EXHALES SHARPLY] Okay.
♪
All right, here we go.
Three, two...
[DETONATOR BEEPS, EXPLOSIVE POPS]
That's it?
That's it.
HOFFMAN: Dex!
DEX: Yeah. Here.
- Hey.
Where's your brother?
He's... He's okay.
Listen, this guy didn't know
where the job was,
but he did say that Kane
had him set up a fence
that sells Native American artifacts.
What... What did you get from Petey?
He said Kane bought enough
explosives to blow a vault.
Okay. What vault?
♪
Artifacts.
♪
Portland Museum.
Worth a try.
Listen, I need to take
my brother home, okay?
- Can you deal with this?
- [DOOR OPENS]
I-I'll call it in.
♪
DENTON: All this for a rock?
Oh, this is no ordinary rock.
This obsidian ax is 12,000 years old.
What's it worth?
When something is this rare
and this valuable,
they call it priceless.
[SIGHS]
♪
[GUN COCKS]
- Come on, man.
- [GUN COCKS]
Put it down, Kane.
[SCOFFS]
Greyson McConnell, humble tavern owner.
You know, if Frank
doesn't hear from me, Grey,
your little friend
is in a very bad situation.
Just put the gun down, Kane.
Let Denton go,
and we can all just walk away, okay?
All the loot is yours.
Isn't that right, Denton?
- He can have it all.
- Works for me.
So, what do you want, Kane?
You want cash to finance
your life on the run?
Or you want to prove a point
and go back to prison?
See, now, that's the Grey I know...
level-headed.
Put the gun down, Greyson.
I could solve so many people's problems
by just pulling this trigger.
Put it down.
♪
[BRAKES SCREECH LIGHTLY,
GEARSHIFT CLICKS]
[SIGHS]
Could be staging out of
this warehouse over here.
That's his M.O. He's a tunneler.
Pulled four jobs that way.
- All right, let's check it out.
- Hold on a second.
- Detective Miles Hoffman
- [GUNSHOTS]
Requesting Code-3 cover
at Portland Museum.
Dex, where you going? Stop...
Shots fired! Shots fired!
[THE CLASH'S "POLICE ON MY BACK" PLAYS]
♪
Portland police!
- [GUNSHOTS]
- DENTON: Aah!
- [CHAMBER CLICKING]
- ♪ Well, I'm running ♪
He shot me!
♪ Police on my back, I've been hiding ♪
- You're okay! You're okay! Relax!
- [GROANING]
Move. Move.
- Hey, what are you...
- Stay back! Stay back!
♪ Police on my back ♪
♪ And the victim ♪
♪ Well, he won't come back ♪
♪ I been running Monday ♪
Ow! Ahh! I'm... I'm sorry.
Dex, I'm sorry. I screwed up.
DEX: Medic! He's heavy.
Medic!
- GREY: Dex...
- All right, put your hand underneath.
See if the bullet went
all the way through.
♪ Friday, Saturday, Sunday ♪
♪ What have I done? ♪
- Let me see your hands!
- Hey.
- Don't move!
- Look, there's a gunshot wound, okay?
I think it hit an artery.
We're gonna need medical
down here immediately.
♪ Yes, I'm running ♪
- Get down!
- ♪ Down the railway track ♪
♪ Could you help me? ♪
♪ Police on my back ♪
♪ They will catch me ♪
♪ If I dare drop back ♪
♪ Won't you give me ♪
♪ All the speed I lack? ♪
♪ What have I done? ♪
[GROANS]
♪ What have I done?
You know how I can tell
I was born to be a crook?
I missed having guns pointed at me.
Isn't that sick?
But you're most alive in that moment.
And now twice in one day.
It makes breaking out worth it
just for this.
You know why I'm glad you broke out?
So I could be the one
to put a bullet in your head.
[SIRENS WAIL IN DISTANCE]
Darius was my friend.
Yeah, I put a bullet in his head,
but you served him up, Detective.
You want to kill me?
You go right ahead.
But it ain't ever gonna
make you feel any better.
I'm willing to find out.
What do you want me to do?
Beg for my life, like Darius did?
♪
Like a bitch?
Miles! Stand down!
[BREATHES SHARPLY]
Go ahead.
♪
You're not gonna do this.
♪
Look, you know, maybe we do
this tomorrow, man, you know?
HOFFMAN: We got to go.
I got you.
Trust me. Go.
I'm scared.
You asked for my help. I gave it to you.
We got to go now. Just trust me.
I got you.
We got to go. Trust me.
[GUNSHOT]
♪
[SIRENS APPROACHING]
♪
[SIREN CHIRPS, RADIO CHATTER]
Thanks.
♪
- Hey.
- Hey. You, uh...
You need anything?
A favor.
Of course you do.
Take it easy on Grey.
Do you really know this guy?
I know enough.
MAN: Detective Hoffman? You got a second?
♪
MAN: ...job your team did.
Yes, sir.
I... I very much appreciate that.
I want you to tell Hoffman...
Yep, I would be happy to convey
that to Detective Hoffman.
Very proud of what you did.
In fact, he's walking in here right now.
He Jewish, by the way?
No, I don't...
I don't believe he is Jewish,
- as far as I know.
- Tell him mazel tov, regardless.
[WHISPERING] He says
mazel tov, regardless.
[NORMAL VOICE] Thank you so much.
- I appreciate that.
- [ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
Yes, I'm... I'm thrilled
that you're happy.
Have a good evening.
You too.
The mayor.
And the chief.
You are moving up in this world, Hoffman.
[LIQUID SLOSHES]
- What about McConnell?
- [BOTTLE THUDS]
Um, what... what about him?
What are we gonna charge him with?
Um... nothing.
[LIQUID POURS]
- Uh, he was, um...
- [BOTTLE THUDS]
[CLEARS THROAT] He... He was...
He was my informant.
And he was, um, integral
to [CLEARS THROAT]
The... the whole takedown.
Is that right?
Y-Yeah.
He was a C.I.?
And I didn't see any paperwork
cross my desk.
Yeah.
Uh, man, I must have left it in Hawaii.
♪
[POPS LIPS] Well...
Mr. McConnell...
is a very lucky man.
♪
So, um... So, he can...
he can walk, yeah?
Fill out the retroactive paperwork,
and he can cartwheel
out of here, for all I care.
Good Lord, I am giddy.
[CHUCKLES]
"Chef Navarro's cuisine"... That's me.
"Chef Navarro's cuisine was,
in our foodie-saturated age,
that rarest of things...
entirely unexpected."
- Mm.
- "Even the limited beverage program
and indifferent service
added a certain rough-hewn charm."
That was your department.
Mm.
"But a win for our fine diners
is a loss for our streets.
We all feel Portland
getting less weird by the day.
If Chef Navarro's plans
are for a brick-and-mortar restaurant,
losing his iconic truck
is sadly just a sign of the times."
Portland needs me.
There shall be no restaurant.
A truck is where I began,
and a truck is where I shall remain.
Two "shalls."
Sounds definitive.
♪
- Hey.
- Hey, Grey.
My guy.
♪
Congrats.
♪
Did you catch "entirely unexpected"?
I'll say it again.
Look, I just want to say up front
and say that I'm sorry...
Ohh!
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
You put Ansel in danger.
God, how could you...
♪
[VOICE BREAKING] How could you
do tha... How could you do that?
♪
Everything that I did or tried to do
was to protect him.
Don't you see that?
And to protect you.
I don't know who you are.
Grey, I don't know who you are anymore.
♪
If I left out anything
about me or my past,
if there's anything I didn't tell you...
♪
Look, I should have just
told you, all right?
♪
If there's anything else you want to say,
anything else you want to tell me,
you better tell me right now.
♪
[SIGHS]
I'm sorry.
♪
Dex, someone's here to see you.
Yeah, buddy.
[SNIFFLES]
Come on.
Janet.
Hey.
Miss Parios.
Congratulations.
You're officially
a licensed private investigator
- in the state of Oregon.
- [EXHALES SHARPLY]
For whatever that's worth.
Wow. Thanks. That, uh...
This means a lot.
You'd make more tending bar.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Just an FYI.
Thank you.
- I'm proud of you, sis.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Look at that, huh?
- Yeah. It's all for you.
Come here.
TOOKIE: Congrats, Dex.
[LAUGHS]
You've come a long way.
- [LAUGHS]
- Make a wish.
[SIGHS]
♪ I know it's on your mind ♪
♪
Okay.
[BLOWS]
I'm coming out of a long-term thing.
What, like parole?
- How long were you guys together?
- Four years.
But also, I really did do time.
I need to get my 1,500 hours
of apprenticeship
so I can be certified here in Oregon.
You're green, but you could be good, Dex.
Why is Hoffman asking about you
and a dead guy named Jack Feeney?
Feeney was in prison with Grey McConnell.
Guess who else was on his tier.
Wallace Kane.
Feeney ends up dead.
A week later, Kane breaks out.
I need a whiskey...
and a good chiropractor.
Kane is planning something
here in Portland.
He's got some unfinished business.
- How do you know this?
- Because I'm in his head!
Do you remember that trip to Hawaii
that you wouldn't shut up about?
Take it.
I put Wallace Kane away.
If I was under his thumb, I'd be afraid.
Aah!
[GRUNTING]
You owe me a half a million dollars.
[AIR HORN BLOWS]
[SPORTS ANNOUNCER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
Don't say it.
- You look funny.
- [CHUCKLES]
Finish your Pop-Tarts, okay?
Blueberry is better.
Well, pumpkin was on sale.
Why are you dressed like that?
I'm trying to look professional.
I have a very important meeting today.
With who?
Uh, Janet Withers, um, from the DPSST,
the Department of Public
something or something, whatever.
So you can be a P.I.?
Yeah. Yeah. If I get my certification,
that means blueberry Pop-Tarts
all day, any day.
- Okay, can you turn this off?
- [VIDEO GAME BEEPS, CONTROLLER CLATTERS]
I'm gonna drop you off at the bar.
Did you try Grey to let him know
we're on our way?
- He didn't pick up.
- Okay.
Well, he's probably busy.
He always picks up.
We'll try him on the way, all right?
Come on.
So, we got to break into the vault
and then bust into the safe?
That's a two-day job. Right, Grey?
How should I know?
I haven't even seen the thing.
I'm not going back to prison for Kane.
Will you guys help me
if I pump the brakes here?
Hell, yeah.
This is nuts.
Come on, Grey. Back us up on this thing.
Come on. Both of you guys chill.
Look, you know I got no beef with you,
but I'm looking out for myself.
Gentlemen... we're in business.
10 years ago,
I started a beautiful tunnel.
Amazingly, it's still intact.
So, basically, we are on the 5-yard line.
We will be in Las Vegas by midnight,
at which point in time,
I will be in libertine mode.
[JACKHAMMER RATTLES IN DISTANCE]
What?
The boys and I have been talking.
I love where this is headed.
Why're we rushing this thing?
Ugh!
[GRUNTING]
[HANK COUGHS, GROANS]
Good question.
The reason we're rushing
is because I'm an escaped convict,
and it's not really in my best interest
to spend too much time
in any one location.
I mean, I would love
to just chill here in Portland
for a few weeks,
hit up some microbreweries,
but that's just not in the cards.
So, anyone else have anything
to share with the group?
Comments?
Concerns?
Greyson?
Are you done shaking your ass, man?
'Cause apparently, I got a job to
do, and I'd like to do it.
I'm sick of watching this.
He's the only one
I let talk to me like that.
I don't know why.
♪
Move your ass.
[SIREN WAILS]
[LOCK DISENGAGES]
Grey. Grey.
Grey, are you here?
Well, he probably overslept.
Let me call him.
- [CELLPHONE CHIMES]
- Oh, look, I have a voicemail from him.
You never check your messages.
GREY: Dex, I hate to lay this on
you, but I had an emergency.
M-My aunt in Houston is really sick.
I had to catch a flight last minute.
Look, can you watch the bar
until I get back?
A few days, tops.
Your brother will show you what to do.
- Please. I owe you.
- [SIGHS]
Aunt? What aunt?
He has a... He has a cousin in Tacoma,
an uncle in, um... in Connecticut,
but I've never heard of
an aunt in Houston.
We open in an hour.
"We"? Buddy, I have
an interview to go to, okay?
I need help.
Yeah. Okay.
Uh, maybe Janet Withers can come here.
Right?
So, what should we do first?
- Work.
- Work. Okay.
Stools?
Yes.
[METAL SCRAPING]
[METAL THUDS]
♪
[GRUNTS]
In case I neglected to mention,
it's good to see you.
I mean, you could have called first.
[CHUCKLES] Next time.
Oh, there's not gonna be a next time.
That's what I'm saying.
As soon as I crack this safe, I'm done.
Fair enough.
Though, I do find it strange
you're about to break into a vault
and you don't even ask what's in it.
'Cause I don't care what's in it.
I do.
That's why I only hire
the best guys for the job.
That is every single toy you asked for.
[DIALING]
[CELLPHONE BEEPS]
♪
[LINE RINGING]
[CLICK]
So far, so good with us.
You?
Yeah. I'm here.
Grey gives you any trouble,
just let me know.
All right.
Sharkey, can you put that
wherever you're supposed to?
SHARKEY: Yep. Got it.
- Hello.
- Hey.
Can I get you something?
Yeah.
I've got some time to kill.
Mm. Spicy Bloody,
extra horseradish, three olives.
♪
Yep. Coming right up.
Thanks.
♪
[PEN CLICKS]
♪
♪
DARIUS: I think he knows.
HOFFMAN: We would have heard something
if Kane was suspicious.
I'm scared.
I'm scared.
Darius, shake that off, man.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
[SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE]
DETECTIVE LEE: Here.
I appreciate this.
Cosgrove finds out
you are not in Hawaii and that I
knew, I could lose my job.
- Your secret's safe with me.
- Yeah.
What's the latest on Kane?
[SIGHS] Marshals are convinced
that he's in Canada.
They're coordinating efforts
with the CSIS and the RCMP.
- That doesn't add up.
- I know.
He has no money, no resources.
All of his connections
are here in Portland.
- [SIGHS]
- What about McConnell?
Yeah, he wasn't at the bar.
Some lady was running the place.
I've seen her at the station.
- Dax?
- Dex?
- Yeah.
- Did you talk to her?
I got my own work to do, Miles.
I'm not even supposed to be here.
Neither are you.
♪
[LINE RINGS]
[CELLPHONE BEEPS]
Grey never turns his phone off.
Something's up.
It's from Edgar.
- Who's Edgar?
- The chef.
- He quit?
- He quit.
Okay. Well, it's burgers and fries.
How hard can that be, right?
♪ I just wanna treat you better ♪
We need a new chef.
WOMAN: [SINGING IN SPANISH]
- [CELLPHONE CHIMES]
- Yo, check it out.
C.J. McCollum from the Blazers...
I know who he is, dummy.
He just liked us on Insta.
Seriously?
Yeah. You know what I heard?
The food critic from The Outlook...
I guess that's a newspaper?
Yes, it's a newspaper. What about him?
I heard he might be sniffing around here,
looking to do a review.
You're blowing up, dude. [CHUCKLES]
I've outgrown this place.
- Don't say it.
- I'm saying it.
How can I spread my wings
when I can barely fit
inside this fishbowl?
[INHALES SHARPLY]
That's two things,
but you get my meaning.
[CELLPHONE VIBRATES, RINGS]
What's up, Dex?
MAN: [RAPPING IN SPANISH]
♪
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
Oh, Took.
- Oh. Bless you.
- TOOKIE: [CHUCKLES]
What is all this?
Welcome to the magic show.
That doesn't answer anything.
These are the ingredients
that are gonna take me
from a taco truck
to my own restaurant [SNIFFS]
To the cover of Food & Wine mag.
Okay. That's great.
I just... You know, I need you
to grill the burgers
and fry the fries.
Mm. No can do. Word is out.
Tonight at the Bad Alibi
is my pop-up debut...
elevated Mexican cuisine.
I'm gonna show the world that
I'm about more than just tacos.
- Yeah. It's just, um...
- Come on.
Let's scratch each other's itch.
Oh, God, you have an ability
to make anything sound gross.
[CHUCKLES]
[METAL GRINDING]
Two hours, man.
You're not even through the lock.
Steel plates, reinforced concrete.
Which means?
It's cross your fingers
I'll be done in four hours.
That's what it means.
Can you just blow the damn thing?
- [GRINDING STOPS]
- Look, if the charges aren't set right,
they're gonna be cleaning
our bodies off the floor
with a squeegee. You understand?
I mean, how many of these
have we done together, man?
Five? Six?
Since when did you get the shakes?
When I had a kid.
- You had a kid?
- A girl. Kami.
- 6 months.
- [LAUGHS]
Wow, man. Congrats.
That's... Hey, man,
it's a big responsibility.
Good on you.
Yeah. Makes you rethink stuff, you know?
- So don't screw up.
- [CHUCKLES]
All right, man.
[GRINDING RESUMES]
All right. Here you are.
It's interesting.
Never had a Bloody Mary with...
What is that, pineapple juice?
It's a work in progress. Aren't we all?
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
Hey, what are you having?
If it's, uh, beer or wine,
there's a 90% chance
I'm gonna get it right.
I'm looking for Dex Parios?
- [TAP SPUTTERS]
- Sorr... Uh, yes, that's me.
I'm Janet Withers, DPSST.
I'm here for your
certification interview.
- Yes. Hi. Sorry.
- Nice to meet you.
Thanks for coming down.
Um, why don't we grab a seat over there?
- Okay.
- Great.
Can I get a water, please?
Yeah, absolutely. Um...
- [TAP HISSING]
- Okay. Come on.
Buddy, you got to take over, okay?
It's not working. It's not coming out.
- It's...
- [TAP SPUTTERS]
You did your apprentice hours
under Arthur Banks?
Yes. Yep.
What would you say
are the top three things
you learned from Arthur?
Honor.
Mm-hmm.
Uh...
integrity.
Mm.
Those are really the two
that we just focused on.
Uh, could I just leave it at two?
Sure.
Do you engage in recreational drug use?
No, ma'am.
Alcohol?
Uh, in moderation. [CHUCKLES]
I-Is that wrong or...
No, no, no, no, no.
I like a Midori sour
as much as the next sailor.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Just not on the job.
Of course.
Have you ever been convicted of a felony?
- No.
- Do you associate with anyone
who's been convicted of a felony?
No.
Why do you want to be
a private investigator?
What?
It's a simple question.
Surely you've thought about it.
Yeah. Of... Of course I have.
Um, uh, deeply, I've considered it.
Um... I just, uh...
I really like helping people?
- Is that a question?
- Um...
'Cause when you're parked outside
a cheap motel on the interstate
six hours into an all-night stakeout,
your bladder's about to explode,
your pee bottle's full,
and you're fresh out of adult diapers,
your car smells like
the five-day-old chalupa
you lost under your seat,
your last client stiffed you,
and you don't know where
the next one's coming from,
I can assure you,
you will be asking yourself
the same question... "Why the hell
would I want to be
a private investigator?"
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
Uh...
I know I'm supposed
to have a good answer,
but I don't.
Um...
The truth is, I, um...
I drink a little bit too much sometimes.
Um, my best friend is a felon,
and I haven't been able
to hold down a real job
in about 10 years.
But this?
This, I'm... I'm good at.
I-I-I don't know why, but I... but I am.
And you seem pretty cynical
about the whole thing,
and maybe one day, I will be, too,
but, um [SIGHS]
From where I'm sitting right now,
that chalupa is smelling
pretty damn good.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
♪ Let's turn the lights down ♪
Yeah. Wrong answer.
[CLEARS THROAT]
It was honest.
♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ Let's turn the lights down ♪
I have everything I need.
And we'll have an answer soon.
So, thank you for your time.
Thank you for coming down.
♪
[SIGHS] Oh, my God.
[CELLPHONE RINGING]
[CELLPHONE BEEPS]
COSGROVE: Miles.
Oh, hey, Lieutenant.
How's Hawaii?
Yeah, no, I just got in.
It's, um... It's something else.
Yeah, it's, uh... Wow.
I c... I know it sounds cliché,
but, uh, yeah, this place is paradise.
- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- You really deserve this trip, Miles.
Yeah, no.
Uh, look, if I could, I'd, uh...
I really wish I could show you this view.
It's, uh... Whew.
Maybe I'll take a picture
and send it to you 'cause it...
- [CELLPHONE BEEPS]
- Damn it.
- Aloha.
- [CELLPHONE BEEPS]
Lieutenant.
Did I think you were gonna go to Hawaii?
No.
What I did believe is that
you'd have enough faith in me
to know that I was looking out for you.
Let me put this guy back in prison.
Are you listening to what I'm saying?
Did you just come here to scold me?
No. I came to take your badge.
- Are you serious?
- You've been digging around.
The brass found out. I told you.
I answer to people, too.
So I'm supposed to just walk away?
♪
You're under review, Miles.
Your badge is on the line.
You go anywhere near this case,
and you could lose it.
♪
- [MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING]
- [SNIFFS]
Adobo.
- Vinegar.
- MAN: Hey. You see who that is?
The acid is on point.
I'm impressed.
- I'm not just a basketball player.
- I know.
C.J. McCollum... king of the mid-range,
also the host of the "Pull Up" podcast.
- I'm a fan.
- That's love. I appreciate that.
But I love food as much
as I love hooping.
♪
[CRUNCHING]
♪
Is this venison?
Goat. The cheek.
It's the most tender cut.
There's something unusual in here.
Braised in beer from a local brewery.
This is a cold-blooded dagger
off the pick-and-roll.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Respect, bro.
I, sir, am humbled.
You mind if I out this on the 'Gram?
Gotta get Dame to come through, too.
Yeah. And tag me on Insta.
- I need the likes.
- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
I got you.
♪
DENTON: Hey, listen.
I want my cut before we leave this place.
That was the deal.
And I'm a man of my word.
♪
[EXHALES DEEPLY]
[GROANS]
[TOOLS THUD]
When Denton's done, he's done.
I'll need help with disposal.
No. I'm not killing anyone.
Hey.
The reason I don't give him
his cut up front
is because you and Feeney blew the money.
So you'll do what I ask when I ask it.
Or I'll have to take something
very dear from you.
♪
[GROANS]
♪ I've got to have it ♪
Hey, buddy, what do you think?
Five letters... young oak.
"Acorn."
"Acorn"?
Nice.
Hi.
Hey.
How's it going?
[EXHALES SHARPLY] Pretty rough.
I just had my P.I. certification
interview,
and I blew it.
Oh, don't sweat it.
I got a job for you.
It's a missing-persons case.
He's in the wind, and I need to find him.
Who?
Grey.
♪
[EXHALES HEAVILY] Are you serious?
Completely.
That bald dude...
I'm pretty sure he's the guy,
the Outlook restaurant critic.
I need you tending bar.
Okay.
Okay, let me, uh, get this clear.
You want me to spy on my best friend?
No, not spy.
I just want you to help me
find out where he is.
Okay. Well, that's easy.
[TAPS TABLE]
[GLASSES CLINKING]
Hey, Ansel.
Where's Grey?
Visiting his sick aunt in Houston.
There you go. Yes. Case closed.
You owe me $500.
Uh, do you really think
he went to Houston?
Can I show you something real quick?
What is it?
Uh, the door.
Get out.
[SIGHS]
Give me 20 minutes back at my apartment.
Please. I'm serious.
If you care about Grey,
you're gonna wanna see
what I have to show you.
♪
Kane protected Grey
and Jack Feeney in prison.
Word from inside is that
both Grey and Feeney
owed Kane for that protection.
Feeney ends up dead.
Two days later, Kane escapes.
Now, I strongly believe
that Grey is with Kane
right now on a job.
[SIGHS]
So you want me to help find Grey
so you can arrest him?
I don't care about Grey. I want Kane.
I told you that he killed
one of my C.I.s 10 years ago.
He had a wife and a one-month-old baby.
You have to find Grey. Now.
Don't make me put that back up, please.
Okay.
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ohh-oh ♪
Tell him this is a churro taco soufflé
with cajeta tapioca cream
and piloncillo syrup.
Churro. Got it.
And finally a soupçon,
as they say in culinary circles,
of my special magic sauce.
Now, you wanna wait until he takes a bite
to make sure he's all good.
But don't let on
that you know he's a food critic.
If he knows we know
that he knows we know,
- he won't review us.
- Give me the plate.
Wait... Go.
♪ Ohhh ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ohh-oh ♪
♪ Just like that ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ohh-oh ♪
♪ Ohh, oh-oh ♪
♪ When I smile to disguise... ♪
That looks good.
Thanks, buddy.
Hey, real quick, kid.
Five letters... Bert's bud.
Ernie.
You're good.
You like it?
Love it.
Say, you're friends with Grey, right?
♪ This tug of war within my soul ♪
♪ Although silent ♪
This will initiate the reaction.
And then we're gonna need
15 feet of clearance for safety.
You're the expert.
And, look, about, uh, Denton...
let me talk to him, okay?
I'm sure he's just a little on edge,
like everybody else,
but you don't have to take him out.
All right.
I appreciate it.
♪
- [CLICK]
- [DIALING]
[LINE RINGING]
[CELLPHONE VIBRATES, BEEPS]
- Hey.
- KANE: Looks like we're gonna need
- a little insurance.
- Mm-hmm.
We need to make sure Grey cooperates.
Yeah. I'll take care of it.
[MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING]
[CRUNCH]
[SIGHS] This feels weird,
snooping around
in Grey's office with you.
I'm just a client.
Well, I wouldn't
bring my client on a job.
Except this client
just happens to be a cop.
- Yeah. Who I've also hooked up with.
- Your point being?
That it feels weird
snooping around
in Grey's office with you.
Okay, look, you want to protect him.
That's sweet.
Do you know the combination
to this thing?
No, not a clue.
Okay, well, it's usually the birth date
of somebody you care about.
You want to humor me, try yours?
- [SIGHS]
- Come on.
Come on.
[SIGHS]
[DIAL CLICKING]
[SAFE DOOR OPENS]
Adorable.
I tried my brother's.
[CLEARS THROAT]
He owns a bar.
I mean, it's...
it's practically insurance.
Grey is a convicted felon.
It's illegal for him to own a gun.
Well, it's a good thing
we only found bullets.
Which tells me that he probably
has the gun on him,
and if he has the gun on him...
He wouldn't be able to get on a plane
and go to Houston.
There you go.
[SIGHS]
What's all this?
Grey's an explosives expert.
You didn't know that?
What?
N-No, Grey went to prison
for grand theft.
Among other things, yeah.
HOFFMAN: 312 Customs.
You got to be kidding me.
Ex-con named Petey runs it.
He's got a really long rap sheet.
[SIGHS]
DENTON: What's that?
I could use some quiet time.
If I'm risking my neck,
I want to know what's going on.
All right, this is C-4, okay?
And explosives are like dogs.
They need to be told what to do
so they know how to please.
I just need enough to blow open this door
so I can keep what's inside safe.
Hey, Denton, do me a favor.
Okay.
Just quit running your mouth around Kane.
You know something I don't?
You heard what I said, okay?
Just do your job, yeah?
♪
Tookie, man, we're out of cilantro.
That's a disaster.
Dinner's gonna be a mob scene.
Ansel. Ansel?
I need you to make a cilantro run.
- Can you handle that?
- Yes.
Go to Shemanski Market
on West Huber Street.
- Buy up all the cilantro they have left.
- Okay.
- Hurry.
- Okay.
♪
[WINDOW CLICKS, WHIRS]
FRANK: Hey, pal.
Grey called.
He wants me to take you to him.
- He's in Houston.
- Nope.
He's here.
He's planning a surprise party
for your sister.
I'm not supposed to get
in strangers' cars.
I'm not a stranger.
I'm Grey's friend, like you.
Guess that makes us friends,
too, doesn't it?
♪
[LAUGHING] Come on. Let's go.
♪
No. You okay?
Hey, Tookie, where's Ansel?
- Cilantro run. He'll be back in five.
- All right.
Look, I know how hard this can be,
finding out that somebody you trusted
isn't who you thought they were.
No. I know Grey, okay?
He must have gotten
mixed up in something.
[GLASS THUDS]
[SIGHING]
I'm gonna go check out 312.
I'll take a look around Grey's loft.
All right. If you find anything, just...
Yes, I will call you.
I promise.
♪ ...to wait at all ♪
♪ All you said... ♪
♪ I've never read ♪
[SIGHS]
[CASH REGISTER BEEPS]
Where's Grey?
Oh, I'm sorry, buddy.
He's stuck in traffic.
Hey, do you like ice cream sundaes?
'Cause this place makes the best.
Let's grab a booth. Come on.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
This one's great.
♪ ...you read in school ♪
All right.
Oh, real quick.
- [BEEP]
- Say, "Hi, Grey."
Hi, Grey.
Perfect.
[CELLPHONE BEEPS, CLICKS]
Now, don't get yourself
into a lather, Greyson.
Frank's just gonna sit there with him
until he hears back from me.
Whatever you need, Kane.
Well, that's what I figured.
Go make us rich.
♪
[SIGHS]
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF]
[MAN SHOUTS IN DISTANCE, CROW CAWS]
♪
You Petey?
Who's asking?
♪
This man been to see you
in the last 24 hours?
Why don't we take that long,
awkward pause as a yes?
What was he here for?
Car stereo.
♪
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
Since when do you use
pyrotechnic shot shells
to fix stereos?
Shall we just try this again?
What did Grey buy, and how much?
Enough to blow through
the Spalding Bank vault,
except all they keep in there
anymore is bicycles.
So, what vault is our friend headed for?
I didn't ask. He wouldn't have told me.
Obvi.
Obvi?
Teenage granddaughter.
♪
♪ Ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, yeah ♪
♪ There's a flame... ♪
I need to go to the bathroom.
Oh, sure. I'll go with you.
You know...
I'll hold on to your phone.
Wouldn't want you
dropping it in the toilet.
I won't drop it.
I'll take it anyway, just in case.
♪ It's burning for you ♪
♪ Even though... ♪
Hey, kid, that's...
the ladies'.
[TOILET FLUSHES]
[MUSIC CONTINUES, MUFFLED]
[STALL DOOR OPENS]
[CHUCKLING] Oh.
This is the ladies' room, young man.
The men's is right next door.
♪ In my heart ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ And I think it's gonna
tear my heart apart ♪
Oops.
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ So, hey, babe, won't you... ♪
[SIGHS]
[SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE]
♪
♪
[CELLPHONE VIBRATES, RINGS]
[DRAWER CLOSES]
Hello?
WAITRESS: I need to talk to Dex Parios.
Yeah. This is she.
A young man gave me a card, and it says,
"My name is Ansel Parios.
Please call my sister.
Tell her I'm lost and to come get me."
It had this number.
Where is he?
Uh, Pearl's Diner on
Killingsworth Street in Maplewood.
He seems fine. He's with a man.
The man... uh, what does he...
what does he look like?
I don't know. Middle-aged, bald.
♪
- Uh, gray jacket?
- Yeah, that's him.
Okay. I'll be right there.
[THE CARS' "JUST WHAT I NEEDED" PLAYS]
♪
[BRAKES SCREECH LIGHTLY]
[GEARSHIFT CLICKS, CELLPHONE BEEPS]
- [RINGING]
- Hoffman.
Yeah, Hoffman, Pearl's Diner.
Make it quick, okay?
[CELLPHONE BEEPS]
This is the employee entrance.
- Okay. What's your name?
- Henry.
Henry. Okay. Won't happen again.
♪
Uh, hey.
Uh, Henry... the dishwasher...
he told me to come get you.
Said he'd need some help
with the dumpster.
[SIGHS]
[FOOD SIZZLING, INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
♪
- Hi, Dex.
- Hey, buddy. [CHUCKLES]
I'm supposed to get cilantro.
Yeah. I heard. What happened?
Frank said Grey wanted to see me,
but Grey's not here yet.
Yeah. Got it. Okay. I'll tell you what.
Why don't you wait for me in the car?
It's in the parking lot, okay?
Frank and I are just gonna have
a little... talk.
What about the cilantro?
Don't worry about the cilantro.
♪
I can stay with you.
No. Uh, I got it, okay?
Just go wait in the car.
Is Grey okay?
Grey is fine. I promise.
I'll be out in a minute, all right?
- Okay.
- Okay.
- I love you.
- I love you, too, buddy.
[CHUCKLES]
♪
Just keep your hands on the table, okay?
- Where's Grey?
- I have no idea.
Well, you better tell me where he is,
or there's gonna be
a little trouble downtown.
He's with Kane, settling a debt.
I was supposed to hold on
to you for insurance,
but the kid was the next best thing.
WAITRESS: Everything good here?
Yeah. It's wonderful. Thank you.
Are you the person I called on the phone?
I sure am, yeah.
And everything is, uh, hunky-dory.
[CHUCKLES]
[TABLE THUDS]
[GUN COCKS]
All right.
We're walking out of here
through the back.
We're gonna get into your car,
and you and the kid are coming with me.
Whatever you say, okay?
After you.
♪ I don't mind you comin' here ♪
♪ And wastin' all my time ♪
♪ 'Cause when you're standin'
oh so near ♪
Keep walking.
♪ I kinda lose my mind ♪
Ha!
[BOTH GRUNTING]
♪ It's not the perfume that you wear ♪
♪ It's not the ribbons in your hair ♪
[GUN CLATTERS]
♪ And I don't mind you comin' here ♪
♪ And wastin' all my time ♪
♪ I guess you're just what I needed ♪
♪ Just what I needed ♪
Aaah!
♪ I needed someone to feed ♪
[BOTH GRUNTING]
♪ I guess you're just what I needed ♪
♪ Just what I needed ♪
♪ I needed someone to bleed ♪
Aah!
♪ I guess you're just what I needed ♪
♪ Just what I needed ♪
[GAGGING]
♪ I needed someone to feed ♪
♪ I guess you're just what I needed ♪
♪ Just what I needed ♪
- [GROANING]
- [PANTING]
♪ I needed someone to bleed ♪
[DOOR SQUEAKS]
[GASPS]
Hey, don't freak out.
- Uh...
- Okay?
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
Take this, okay?
Keep everybody out of here.
For how long?
Give me five minutes.
Eight, tops.
[EXHALES SHARPLY] Okay.
[KEYPAD BEEPS]
Get ready.
What's happening?
The safe's about to explode.
Oh, man. Hold on.
[EXHALES SHARPLY] Okay.
♪
All right, here we go.
Three, two...
[DETONATOR BEEPS, EXPLOSIVE POPS]
That's it?
That's it.
HOFFMAN: Dex!
DEX: Yeah. Here.
- Hey.
Where's your brother?
He's... He's okay.
Listen, this guy didn't know
where the job was,
but he did say that Kane
had him set up a fence
that sells Native American artifacts.
What... What did you get from Petey?
He said Kane bought enough
explosives to blow a vault.
Okay. What vault?
♪
Artifacts.
♪
Portland Museum.
Worth a try.
Listen, I need to take
my brother home, okay?
- Can you deal with this?
- [DOOR OPENS]
I-I'll call it in.
♪
DENTON: All this for a rock?
Oh, this is no ordinary rock.
This obsidian ax is 12,000 years old.
What's it worth?
When something is this rare
and this valuable,
they call it priceless.
[SIGHS]
♪
[GUN COCKS]
- Come on, man.
- [GUN COCKS]
Put it down, Kane.
[SCOFFS]
Greyson McConnell, humble tavern owner.
You know, if Frank
doesn't hear from me, Grey,
your little friend
is in a very bad situation.
Just put the gun down, Kane.
Let Denton go,
and we can all just walk away, okay?
All the loot is yours.
Isn't that right, Denton?
- He can have it all.
- Works for me.
So, what do you want, Kane?
You want cash to finance
your life on the run?
Or you want to prove a point
and go back to prison?
See, now, that's the Grey I know...
level-headed.
Put the gun down, Greyson.
I could solve so many people's problems
by just pulling this trigger.
Put it down.
♪
[BRAKES SCREECH LIGHTLY,
GEARSHIFT CLICKS]
[SIGHS]
Could be staging out of
this warehouse over here.
That's his M.O. He's a tunneler.
Pulled four jobs that way.
- All right, let's check it out.
- Hold on a second.
- Detective Miles Hoffman
- [GUNSHOTS]
Requesting Code-3 cover
at Portland Museum.
Dex, where you going? Stop...
Shots fired! Shots fired!
[THE CLASH'S "POLICE ON MY BACK" PLAYS]
♪
Portland police!
- [GUNSHOTS]
- DENTON: Aah!
- [CHAMBER CLICKING]
- ♪ Well, I'm running ♪
He shot me!
♪ Police on my back, I've been hiding ♪
- You're okay! You're okay! Relax!
- [GROANING]
Move. Move.
- Hey, what are you...
- Stay back! Stay back!
♪ Police on my back ♪
♪ And the victim ♪
♪ Well, he won't come back ♪
♪ I been running Monday ♪
Ow! Ahh! I'm... I'm sorry.
Dex, I'm sorry. I screwed up.
DEX: Medic! He's heavy.
Medic!
- GREY: Dex...
- All right, put your hand underneath.
See if the bullet went
all the way through.
♪ Friday, Saturday, Sunday ♪
♪ What have I done? ♪
- Let me see your hands!
- Hey.
- Don't move!
- Look, there's a gunshot wound, okay?
I think it hit an artery.
We're gonna need medical
down here immediately.
♪ Yes, I'm running ♪
- Get down!
- ♪ Down the railway track ♪
♪ Could you help me? ♪
♪ Police on my back ♪
♪ They will catch me ♪
♪ If I dare drop back ♪
♪ Won't you give me ♪
♪ All the speed I lack? ♪
♪ What have I done? ♪
[GROANS]
♪ What have I done?
You know how I can tell
I was born to be a crook?
I missed having guns pointed at me.
Isn't that sick?
But you're most alive in that moment.
And now twice in one day.
It makes breaking out worth it
just for this.
You know why I'm glad you broke out?
So I could be the one
to put a bullet in your head.
[SIRENS WAIL IN DISTANCE]
Darius was my friend.
Yeah, I put a bullet in his head,
but you served him up, Detective.
You want to kill me?
You go right ahead.
But it ain't ever gonna
make you feel any better.
I'm willing to find out.
What do you want me to do?
Beg for my life, like Darius did?
♪
Like a bitch?
Miles! Stand down!
[BREATHES SHARPLY]
Go ahead.
♪
You're not gonna do this.
♪
Look, you know, maybe we do
this tomorrow, man, you know?
HOFFMAN: We got to go.
I got you.
Trust me. Go.
I'm scared.
You asked for my help. I gave it to you.
We got to go now. Just trust me.
I got you.
We got to go. Trust me.
[GUNSHOT]
♪
[SIRENS APPROACHING]
♪
[SIREN CHIRPS, RADIO CHATTER]
Thanks.
♪
- Hey.
- Hey. You, uh...
You need anything?
A favor.
Of course you do.
Take it easy on Grey.
Do you really know this guy?
I know enough.
MAN: Detective Hoffman? You got a second?
♪
MAN: ...job your team did.
Yes, sir.
I... I very much appreciate that.
I want you to tell Hoffman...
Yep, I would be happy to convey
that to Detective Hoffman.
Very proud of what you did.
In fact, he's walking in here right now.
He Jewish, by the way?
No, I don't...
I don't believe he is Jewish,
- as far as I know.
- Tell him mazel tov, regardless.
[WHISPERING] He says
mazel tov, regardless.
[NORMAL VOICE] Thank you so much.
- I appreciate that.
- [ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
Yes, I'm... I'm thrilled
that you're happy.
Have a good evening.
You too.
The mayor.
And the chief.
You are moving up in this world, Hoffman.
[LIQUID SLOSHES]
- What about McConnell?
- [BOTTLE THUDS]
Um, what... what about him?
What are we gonna charge him with?
Um... nothing.
[LIQUID POURS]
- Uh, he was, um...
- [BOTTLE THUDS]
[CLEARS THROAT] He... He was...
He was my informant.
And he was, um, integral
to [CLEARS THROAT]
The... the whole takedown.
Is that right?
Y-Yeah.
He was a C.I.?
And I didn't see any paperwork
cross my desk.
Yeah.
Uh, man, I must have left it in Hawaii.
♪
[POPS LIPS] Well...
Mr. McConnell...
is a very lucky man.
♪
So, um... So, he can...
he can walk, yeah?
Fill out the retroactive paperwork,
and he can cartwheel
out of here, for all I care.
Good Lord, I am giddy.
[CHUCKLES]
"Chef Navarro's cuisine"... That's me.
"Chef Navarro's cuisine was,
in our foodie-saturated age,
that rarest of things...
entirely unexpected."
- Mm.
- "Even the limited beverage program
and indifferent service
added a certain rough-hewn charm."
That was your department.
Mm.
"But a win for our fine diners
is a loss for our streets.
We all feel Portland
getting less weird by the day.
If Chef Navarro's plans
are for a brick-and-mortar restaurant,
losing his iconic truck
is sadly just a sign of the times."
Portland needs me.
There shall be no restaurant.
A truck is where I began,
and a truck is where I shall remain.
Two "shalls."
Sounds definitive.
♪
- Hey.
- Hey, Grey.
My guy.
♪
Congrats.
♪
Did you catch "entirely unexpected"?
I'll say it again.
Look, I just want to say up front
and say that I'm sorry...
Ohh!
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
You put Ansel in danger.
God, how could you...
♪
[VOICE BREAKING] How could you
do tha... How could you do that?
♪
Everything that I did or tried to do
was to protect him.
Don't you see that?
And to protect you.
I don't know who you are.
Grey, I don't know who you are anymore.
♪
If I left out anything
about me or my past,
if there's anything I didn't tell you...
♪
Look, I should have just
told you, all right?
♪
If there's anything else you want to say,
anything else you want to tell me,
you better tell me right now.
♪
[SIGHS]
I'm sorry.
♪
Dex, someone's here to see you.
Yeah, buddy.
[SNIFFLES]
Come on.
Janet.
Hey.
Miss Parios.
Congratulations.
You're officially
a licensed private investigator
- in the state of Oregon.
- [EXHALES SHARPLY]
For whatever that's worth.
Wow. Thanks. That, uh...
This means a lot.
You'd make more tending bar.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Just an FYI.
Thank you.
- I'm proud of you, sis.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Look at that, huh?
- Yeah. It's all for you.
Come here.
TOOKIE: Congrats, Dex.
[LAUGHS]
You've come a long way.
- [LAUGHS]
- Make a wish.
[SIGHS]
♪ I know it's on your mind ♪
♪
Okay.
[BLOWS]