Stromberg (2004–2012): Season 5, Episode 6 - Herr Rüther - full transcript

Is this from you?

I have nothing to do with that.

You all suck so much!

No way!

You can't undo such a pregnancy
can't be undone "in a jiffy".


Not as "poof"
as the conception was.

And not as "poof" as you were
were gone when I told you.

That was even double "poof".

He gets all that
through the mother's milk.

Oh God!

- Wait a minute!
- I was waiting for you!

But you were at a conference.

[Stromberg] The dad.

[Jennifer] I don't feel like it,
that everyone is laughing their heads off.

Who is laughing their head off?


You can't see that up there.
It doesn't matter to you.

I make an appointment
for the consultation,

So you know.


"Hello" me not so stupid,
you asshole!

Mr. Nübel, I heard the ...

the Kolberg is out
with the ship's hull?

Don't remind me!

I have to find a fool
to whom I can sell the department.

I would do it.

This is the Siberia of CAPITOL.

In the last 2 years
5 department heads have been worn out.

Welkenberg wanted to
close down.

You don't sell that as an opportunity to anyone
who is not stupid.

I would do it.

You want to go to the hull?

Do you voluntarily want to go to the hull?

I just need to get out of the....

out of the rut.

I'm kind of in a rut here...

in some kind of dumbass trot,
where I have to get out, urgently.

For private reasons it would be good
if I could get out,

out of the claims settlement.

Are you serious?


you would be doing me a big favor.

It is easier for me to find
easier to find someone.

[Stromberg] The little bit of Ge ...

bumse is not worth it,
that you feel so bad now.

I've already seen myself with a dwarf
on 'm arm seen.

And how to teach it everything.
How to deal with girls...

no idea.

How do I apply,
how do I negotiate,

the whole thing, where you are asked as a father.

I thought:

"In your old age you will become
a real family".

That's when she just says:


Have you heard the latest?

I was with Mrs. Kempf-Auffermann,
because of the validity check

and we talked, because,
she likes me--

Oh, stop it!

She even gave me a pudding in the
a pudding in the canteen.

Just like that. Although it wasn't

The hammer: Stromberg is gone!

Menno, that's what I'm telling you!

Nobody knows exactly.

Mrs. Kempf-Auffermann thinks-->

Ship hull! It doesn't work.
[Voices clamoring]

Hammer! Just like that. As of now.
There is a notice in front.

I like him
like shit on a shoe.

He always ruins everything for me.

When I have something
I'm looking forward to...

the youth retreat, or...

[Bert] Hello? I was not yet
finished! I wanted to...


This will be on TV later?

When do your colleagues usually come
come on duty?

It depends.

[Nübel] I told you, motivation
is a big issue here.

That is my strength.

I would have to go again.

[Nübel] I would like to introduce
Mr. Stromberg.

Who has agreed
to take over the ship's hull.

Tomorrow. Morning. Good morning.

Good morning.

The decommissioned frigates are coming directly
by the hull.

[Rüther] This is my wife,
she works here, too.

There is a magic in every beginning.

Saying yes.

Is a poem by the...

from the thingy. I had to
learn it by heart in school.

I still can:
"There is magic in every beginning,

that protects us
and helps us to live.

We shall cheerfully
Walk through room after room,

to none as to a home"

[Performance in background]

"hang, who always wants the good
and always wants evil..."



Anyway, it's clear what I mean.



Hermann Hesse was the name
with the poem.

He is said to have smoked an awful lot of pot.

Therefore probably
also nothing.

Nevertheless it must be

somehow go on.

[Rüther] Yes...

the situation is not easy for me
and my wife.

We are still paying off our apartment
and we are standing with 2 legs on the street.

So... each with one.

Because we are afraid that

Department will be closed.

I can't think about it.

Tiger balm, that calms
and clears the nose.

I thought I felt like shit.

I'm glad you have a sense of humor.

I was glad you came.

You are the first boss
who comes voluntarily.

The others have been punitively transferred.

Mr. Stromberg,

my... our...

all hopes rest on you.

It's a good feeling,
to be used.

That's one of my advantages,
I am a mental nomad.

If there is too much sand in the desert,
I just move on.

The next oasis is sure to come.


- Yes, that was me.
- Say.

It is not possible that you
smoke during pregnancy.

They even write that on the pack.

Are you still there? I don't believe it!

My great aunt smoked
smoked during pregnancy

and drank.

That is why Viktor has on one foot
only 3 toes.

And 4 fingers are too short.

It's none of your fucking business,

You will be happy later when your baby
can type with 10 fingers.

Viktor can't do that.

Good, neither can I.
Only because I didn't learn it.

I could, Viktor just couldn't.

For your information: I do not plan
to have the child.

Who then?

All this can't be true.

We are all children of God.

Even the children. Especially them!

Children are a gift from God.

You don't return gifts.

Not anyway, but from God.
not at all.

"Ah no, 'a child..."

"Do you still have the receipt?"

"I think I'll exchange it
for cigarettes."

Where are we going to go if this goes down?

I say that honestly. We can't do that.

I won't let you do that.

Abortion! It's terrible that way.

[I can't get over it.
Hit Stromberg in the sack.

This is the hammer.

What is going on in the head,
I have never understood.

Have you ever looked into the info brochure
of the clinic? Sounds good.

The chances of success with women
at my age are 50%.

Who is doing the overall management?

Becker gone, Stromberg gone.

I was thinking
whether I should go to the Nübel.

They can process the sperm.

There are dead and slow sperm
are separated out.

Thereby one has chances
that it works.

In being childish you win against every
five-year-old. What's the big deal?

We do want to tackle this.

Yes, but not at dinner
with Hans and Franz.

You think
the earth revolves only around you.

You are not that exciting
for the others.

Clinic at Martinshof?

Supposed to be good.
There were friends of ours there.

There the man couldn't either,

then they did a testicular biopsy.
With 'ner tweezers from the testicle--

Is good now!


I can gladly make you a contact
to our friends.

- Nope!
- Why not?

As for the total line--

Do I have a mic in the soup?

I talked to Nübel.

He can well imagine
an internal solution.

So far you are a bunch

uh... 'a haystack.

Without needle!

A completely needleless haystack.

From now on you have a needle!


I am your compass needle,
which shows you now, where it goes.

In here, colleagues,

is the sailing ship with which you
conquer whole new continents.

This is the Pinta and the Nina
and the Dings.

But all of you are Christopher Columbus.

I believe in you guys.

But you have to learn to believe in yourselves
in yourselves, otherwise nobody will do it.

You must want the universe
to take notice of you.

Therefore... Go to the window
and shout out:

Hello, here I am, univer...

respectively... Not now!

Organize operations, delegate,

assign, decide.


is our new system.

It is extremely easy to remember,

because it is called short and precise:



How you guys work,
mushrooms are cultivated.

In the dark, and surrounded
By nothing but dung.

You are not mushrooms!

You are not chanterelles either.

You know what? You are truffles!

That's what I want to hear: "We are truffles".

Come on, Rüther, you have Mumms,
make times on role model.

- I'm a truffle.
- Sure, go!

I am a truffle.

Sounded more like a toadstool.

I am a truffle.

I am a truffle!

Now the others!

We are truffles.

[all say restrainedly.]
We are truffles.


Also join in.

[all quiet again.]
We are truffles.


[all louder]
We are truffles

We are truffles.

We are truffles.

- What are we?
- [all out loud] We are truffles!

We are truffles!

We are truffles!

We are truffles!

[louder and louder.]
We are truffles!

- We are truffles!
- Louder!

We are truffles!

We are truffles!

We are truffles!

We are truffles!

Mr. Stromberg brings a breath of fresh air
into the department.

You can almost say pull-through.

That was also necessary for us!

Can I say that?

I, for one, am very happy about it.

I think I speak
for the whole department.

But I also worked for years
as a wind machine.

With the troops here, it's fun.

Once again a new start
without all the old human junk,

that one has accumulated in life.

Nah, this can be something.

As for the finances in the department

That's where we do surreptitious advertising.

Is it allowed now, mh?

I am full.

Oh, no...

You have nothing else to do
nothing else to do all day, huh?

What is it now?

[Bert] Nah, that's coming from me!

I asked once in the community.

Because I don't know that well
I don't know that well.

Ernie, that's really enough!

Children have little fingers at a very early age.

With real fingernails.

- It's all inside you already!
- What do you think about it,

I give it to you, and you carry it out.

Feel free to make fun,
I don't mind.

I just wanted to say, for the church
and for me you are a vessel

for 'n new life.

Life is always first a miracle
and beautiful.

You are beyond belief.

If you feel sick
or if there's anything else,

I will help you. Here at work
and otherwise.

I'll be glad to do that.
And let's see,

somehow everything works,
if you only want.

- Oh, Ernie...
- Yes, it is!

[Bert] Those in the community said,
when the child is there,

then often also
the fathers,

positively, often.

I mean.

Look at Helge.

Yes, the...

he used to be like that...

What would you say
if he had stayed like that?

Tanja, we are talking,
what a small miracle children are.

Tanja would be happy about such a miracle
certainly happy.

Or, Tanja?

[Ernie] Earlier I thought,
I am so 'ne kind of scarecrow.

Like a scarecrow, but for people.

Where I go,
and people say:

"Get the hell out of here, Ernie!"

Since I've been working in the community,

I realize that I have
a completely different effect on people.

That the...

That they listen to me.

And... this is so nice...

like sun

from pudding.

[Ulf] Guess who was on the phone with Nübel
on the phone about Stromberg's job?

And to whom the Nübel said,

I should quietly come over?

What's going on here?

Nix, all good.

We are talking about something private here.

It is not just about
"Here, get these files ready."

"Can you still go
to your stupid youth recreation", nope!


There I understand even better
French than women.

Whereas, that's also like....

64 means with the French

With women and French
everything is complicated.

I have no idea
what is going on there again.

A buddy of mine said the other day,

Women of a certain age.
need something to take care of.

The more,
the more successful the man is.

For them and for me

this is just true 100 per.

- Have a good evening!
- Bye, Mrs..

We have wedding anniversary next month.

- Och!
- 10 years.

Silly me, I forgot...

We thought we wouldn't do anything
because it was so difficult here.

Now we want to have a party.

- Bye!
- Bye!

A really big celebration.

Because you say,
you also have to dare something,

And that we are all truffles.

Brave truffles.

We would be very happy
if you would come too.


[Stromberg] But that is!

- Have a nice evening!
- Bye...

Have a nice evening!

I can drink freely even better
than talk freely.

You can also bring
Bring your acquaintance.


Come on, Schneckeline,

I can already hear our couch calling.

- Bye, Mr. Stromberg!
- Bye.

- Bye!
- Bye!

Love is the most important thing in life.

Even so 'n Rüther has...

"Come, Schneckeline..."

While ours here...

- Morning.
- Morning.

- [Ulf] Are you doing here?
- Nothing.

- What is that?
- Nothing.

I thought that was through.

- What?
- Nix.

With the Jennifer?

Did she say anything?

- Nope.
- Well...

Go upstairs, bye.

What's so urgent?

This is "killer".

The name is provisional.

You can choose something else.

But I thought it was cool for him. "Murderer!"

I don't understand, whose is it?

You bought me a dog?

[Ulf] I'll do it.

In the evening with the around the block,
that is not an issue.

Ne, murderer?

How do you come up with something like that?

Oh, it's soft.

Nübel thinks he can imagine,

that I am at the start
at the start.

I would have to take a training course for that.
I already have the documents.


that takes half a year and

that I can do in the evening on the side.

So it can become tricky in terms of time
with the artificial baby.

That's why I thought you'd
take care of murderers first.

Come on, let him out.

Wait! Wait!

[Ulf] Murderer! Hey!

Listen... [clears throat]

Listen, I made a lot of mistakes,
and I...

Didn't prepare a speech either,

I can only say what many men
said: I love you!

So not to you... many men...

I suppose... not me, anyway.

Where was I?

I love you, that's why I don't care,
what you decide.

I don't care what all the cucumbers
say here.

I'm with you...I wish I were,

if you let me.

[Bert] A dog in the office?

A dog in the office?
[Bert] We're not at...

Mr. Stromberg!
I am not allowed to go to the youth camp

- and he breeds animals in there.
- Calm down!

You are annoying.

[Ulf] I'll bring it back, or what?

[Tanja] Yes, that would be a start.

[Bert] I told Jennifer
if she has problems--

[Bert] Why don't you hold the drool?

That's probably how it is in space.

You don't know which is up and which is down.

One is glad when one again
firm ground under the feet has.

When you're floating around up there,
you don't give a shit,

what the ground looks like and where it is,
even in Wallachia.

He is Wallachia, I know that.


I thought that we...

maybe we can start from the beginning?

"An umbrella can also be a

Such a Stromberg saying,

Yes, and...

maybe now is time for



Morning, Mr... ow!

I thought we were all truffles.


Unemployed truffles... Hartz IV truffles.

Street truffles, that's us.

Mr. Rüther?

My wife is completely...

The wedding party where we...

All canceled.

All offloaded.

This is so shabby.

[Nübel] Mr. Stromberg!

They are already here!

The early bird catches the worm.

Shirking unpleasant tasks
is not my style.

I told the people.
They're not thrilled.

According to what you have written,
the resolution is the right step.

Well, from the effi... From the efficiency

from that, of course, it is "puh"...

I wanted to go here, I know.

But there is nothing even I can do.

In the sense of the company I think it is right
that they think radically.

The people are just
taken over by the main house, ne?

Not all, but most of them...

Or rather, some.

From the human point of view
there are many good people here...

Objectively and humanly,

that rarely goes together,
Mr. Stromberg.

[loud sobbing]

[Mrs. Rüther, tearful.]
CAPITOL ship hull?

Ulf, because of advanced training

for the overall management...

I told the Nübel
is not necessary, I am back.