Stromberg (2004–2012): Season 5, Episode 4 - Der Nachfolger - full transcript

[So, see you all next week.
all next week.

Who is coming to eat?

I'm in!

- Mr. Stankowski?
- Yes?

Because of your calculation,
the numbers are all wrong.


Yes, you have
used the old key.

That happened to me once,
here, look.


I thought I would tell you this,
before Tremmel notices.

The allocation key was
was not updated.

I had the same problem before.

St. Martin is celebrated today.
still being celebrated,

because he once 'nem
Helped a bum.

But whether the bum
drank away his coat, so

was ultimately his own fault... Doesn't matter.

The bum is grateful.
And this is the trick

in the leadership.

Thank you.

Not for that, anyone would have done it.

Except for the Becker, maybe.

Not maybe, definitely not.

Somebody like the Stankowski.

Offering half a coat,

that is worth more
Than experience in Brussels, high school diploma....

When it's time: Becker here,
or the dear Mr. Stromberg?

Sure, what the bum...
Stankowski decides.

Yes after that we all wanted nice...

That was a small step for me,

but a huge kick
in Becker's butt.


[Bert strumming away on a guitar]

♫Songs of freedom♫

[singing off-key]
♫Cause all I ever have♫

[Mrs. F.]
I'm getting an ear bleed!

This is from the mouth organ!

For the youth retreat I'm going on.

How long does
such a youth today, until 60?

As a supervisor!

Ernie, what about the 2 damage,
will there be something?

Yes, count to infinity.

[Bert laughs.]

I got it from the guys
from the group, the saying.

There's the offspring, listen,
what about the 2 damage?

I need them on Friday
at the Tremmel.

It would be better if I had a
I had a specialist instead of Mrs. F...

- And office keys I also have--
- mouth organ?

Isn't that the nickname
of the thing from accounting?

[Bert] Nah, that's for singing!

Because I'm going on a youth camp--

[A dead man is interested in that,
do the 2s reports!

Not at all, in that tone!

Oh, listen, that Ernie there.

Have you secretly exchanged eggs?

Well Ulf, the boss is like death.

Gets you even if you do nothing,
and then it's over.

That's why everyone is
Afraid of him. There had to go!

And death doesn't have an office either.
Watch with the damage reports!

Come in the ears... uh...
Socks, boy!

[Bert continues singing]

- Please.
- [sings loudly] ♫Nonononono!♫

[he continues to play music]
♫No Ulf, no crie♫

♫No damage♫
[the group laughs]

That's good, right?
♫No Damage♫

Chief alert!


Hold on,
I just have to do this again....

You can do that right now.


- Last time it was okay too.
- We weren't in the office then either.

I feel so weird anyway.

[Bernd] Yes then laugh!
It's a good day for it!


What is this?

It's just chewing gum.

Well then come here, you pig!

So, I really have to move on.

Too bad.


Can you make me a coffee?

Has he still not given you
the office key?

Have you ever called
called Dr. Schüller?

Oh Wusel,
you wanted to do this today.

I am missing one for the 2 damage
and 1000 other things.

That I briefly
didn't think to ask,

if the fucking urologist
has already counted my sperms.

Listen, I'm still doing it.

When I have settled this.

[Bert in background.]
Just one.

[Tanja] You have to put pressure on Stromberg
Pressure, otherwise nothing happens.

Asking nicely is not enough.

If you have a 1A view,
why aren't you sitting in his office?

[Bert sings] ♫An Ulf stood in the kitchen.
And stole an egg♫ from the cook.

♫Then I gave him another one♫.

♫Then he had two♫ already.

Tanja, also nice 'ne sausage?

Yes, with pleasure!

[Bert continues humming liltingly]

[hums happily]

- Thanks.
- Are the good guys.

Mr. Stankowski, the calculation
I had already put out.

The colleague still has
a suggestion for embellishment.

I put a piece of chewing gum on it,
now everything sticks together.

I am sorry.

Oh, sorry.
[Phone rings]

Helge, don't tell me
Papa didn't pick you up.

Shit, give it to me, please!

I'll reprint this
and bring it in, okay?

Yeah, great sausage!

And I always have time
or what?

No, now I also have
something in between!

[Stankowski] Is this actually 'ne
permanent solution?

- Huh?
- Yes, this one...

[Bernd] Yes, I still know her
from downstairs, that's Mrs. Schirrmann.

But downstairs you also had
other furniture in the office.

This is also about external appearance,

Yes, but it does represent.

Yes, 'a Waldorf school.

Huh? How why...

[Stankowski] Well, the clothes!

What's wrong with the clothes?

The clothes alone,
the pants!

Do you actually know the Weller,
who is sitting with me?


You have to know yourself.

I only say this
because you also helped me.

In other words, most of the
fail in management,

Because they hire the wrong people,

Or keep them.
That's a fact.

I think it's going really well right now.

Flexible working hours,
[Jennifer] I can bring the Helge...

And I already have
to him.


Yes, to the Bernd.

I also think he has really
developed since he has been here.

Less fidgeting,
less excuses.

There are men like that,
who grow with responsibility.

There are also women,
who find this quite good.

Oh, not again chief alarm please.


I feel right now anyway
like a field of rubble.

Listen, speaking of debris...

Don't you and I
go shopping?

What kind of nonsense is that?

Well, nice new pants, or what.

[Stromberg] Tell me, are you kidding me?

You want to go with me
to buy pants?

Hello? I have thank you letters
from women all over the world!

Straight at pants!

I can not imagine,
when I look at it like this.

Besides, we wanted to be
to be a bit more professional, yes?

A pair of pants is professional, after all,
so can at least.


Mr. Stromberg?

Mr. Stankowski asked me
to give you this.

Malanie Weller.

Oh, Mrs. Weller!
Good that you are here.

[Jennifer] I have
something for you, too, just a moment...

This is for the Stankowski,

everything reprinted

and filed.
Everything in color now.

Say hello to him
from Mrs. Schirrmann.

All right, I will.

- Thank you!
- Bye!

- Bye, Mr. Stromberg!
- Bye Mrs... uh...

These are the new numbers, right?

- Ulf, is so.
- Yes...

[Since four and a time 250...
[cheerful noise in the kitchen]

[volume increases]

- [from the kitchen] Oh Ernie!
- [Ulf] What's going on now?

I don't understand that at all...
[happy laughter in the background]

[Ulf] Do you have nothing to do, or what?

- We make here trust--
- [Tanja] Ow!

- [Bert] like in my youth recreation!
- Ulf because of you I fell over!

[Tanja] Here, who wants?
I don't want again.

[Ulf] Tanja would also.
take a mayfly to the vet.

Everyone helps the,
Even an Ernie like that.

But it gives me zero support,
it's a real pain in the ass

and I told her that too, but
she immediately:

"Keyword sack, have you already called
about the test?" blabla...

[He is a bit heavier than Tanja.
than Tanja.

[Ulf] I understand that it
important with the child and so.

Me too, sure.

But the job is also important.

Especially to me children.

Because life does not become
does not become cheaper.

In this respect I find a distribution
quite good.

Where I am a player and she...
Yes, player's wife, so.

And in the stands you
no goals, but cheer.

She then realized that.

I think.

Ah, Mrs. Steinke.
Well, how is it?

You look good!

Delicious dessert?
Strawberry, cherry?

Oh, come here...

Oh, I didn't mean to.

This is all here...

Oh, yes a very fine fabric, ne?

You really have a knack for it,

By the way, everyone here thinks so.

- Right.
- Uh-huh, hmm, thank you.

I was just about to leave.

Is there actually
a particular store where you store?

[Tanja] Um, no.
Depending on.

Yes, man. Great!


Can you give Jennifer a ride?

Just fashion tips
under four women's eyes.

So what you could wear.
Fashion-wise in the anteroom.

That you say try
the beautiful viscose pants.

Or give yourself 'nen jerk to 'nem skirt,
or something.

Viscose pants?

Yes, so that Jennifer can get
gets away from the Waldorflook.

Not strawberry after all? Mmh!

You do not want to give
the office key,

and now you want me to
go shopping with Jennifer?

- I don't think so...
- What does that have to do with the pants?

Besides, I told Ulf
that the key--

Okay, I'm going shopping with Jennifer.

If you give Ulf the office key.

By golly, that Frau Steinke!

Ten more eggs in the skirt
than Ulf in his pants.

Biste sure about child instead of career?

You boss and Ulf pregnant,
that would fit better.

Here, delicious strawberries!
Mmh, mjamm!

Ah, wait a minute.

Here, the Stankowski
just dropped it off.

Very good!

A copy to the Tremmel,
so that he sees that I

have to do with it, and the original
goes to the tax office.

That must still be there today.


Guess who just called
and wants to have lunch with me tomorrow?


No, Tanja!


Yes, she thinks you are good,

she wants to chat with you...
Here comes Tanja's wife.

I need the
the key to the office.

I don't let myself be dispatched either,
because I am entitled to...

And, and... Finished, because--

The chairs stay in.

- Bye.
- Bye!

[Jennifer] So I think that has something.

[Tanja] Yes,
a few flowers too much has that.

Is it for sure that it will not work out
with the pregnancy?

How do you come to...?

Why wouldn't that work?

Sorry, it was just a rumor.

- Floor rumor.
- [Tanja] Well, everything is fine.

My tests were all okay.
And Ulf's probably too.

If he would call
and ask.


If men were
would be responsible for having children,

mankind would be
already extinct.

[Tanja] The Ulf actually wants.
but also a child.

Yeah, that's what they all say.

But when they see
how much work it is,

and how little you sleep

and how everything changes,
then they take off.

Well, just because that was the case with you....

After all, not all men are the same,
or all women.

Do you think I didn't just pick
a shithead,

it's also my own fault
that he ran away?

No, that's not what I meant.

Here, what do you think?

Boah, this does not work at all!

Sorry, I know,
you find such a thing beautiful.

Something like that?

Yes, just so endeavored businesslike.

What you always wear.

Stromberg seems to be trying businesslike
not so bad.

What does he have to do with it now?


Did he tell you
you should go shopping with me?

Waldorflook was his formulation.

[Bert strums the guitar and sings.]
♫Thank you for some sadnesses♫.

- Ne, D major, so the two and the.
- Ah, yes...

[he continues singing]

♫Thank you, for every little happiness♫.

Yeah, good shit Ernie,
groovin' like a champ!

- Is that good?
- Yeah, absolutely.

Do you know
Ten naked Negroes with suspenders?

Ulf, this is a youth retreat!

But not for young people
from the 50s.

I know a whole assload of
1A booze songs!

Really? Then I can show you
Kids songs for it!

So if that with Tanja and you,
when is it then?

Ernie, you are the first
who finds out.

♫Thank you for some sadnesses♫.

Employees are just people, after all.

And I'm pretty good with people.

To Stromberg.
You just have to be rather aggressive,

with such 'nem Ernie rather chubby...

[Ulf] ...and then Baby-G, here like this....


Ulf, thinking only about Baby.

[strikes a chord]

But at the end,

both give you
what you want.

♫Thank you that in the far' and near♫.


[singing together,
as Tanja comes in the door]

Tanja old fuck noodle!

What has two thumbs,
one eye and finally 'n office?

[Bert laughs] One eye!

Tanja, I can teach you
teach you children's songs.

So, when it's time.

[Bert] And I'll finish
the damage 2 cases.

Social skills, baby!

Did you call Dr. Schüller's office?

Perle, I've been working hard
for the office and you come

always with this
haste, haste, haste?

But main thing shopping was nice, ey.


[Tanja] I went shopping with Jennifer,
because Stromberg asked me.

And in return
he gave you the office.


Stromberg wanted Jennifer to...

Never mind, the main thing is that you have your office.

Hey, wait a minute!

[Does that mean, you made a deal with
made a deal with Stromberg?

So that I can get his office?

Tell me, are you crazy?
what does it look like now?

Ey, do me a favor.

Don't ever do me a favor again.

Just don't support me, okay?

This can't stay like this.

Hey, sit down now!

We're not here after all, so....

So, I...

[Noise from the office.]

How do you imagine,
when Mr. Tremmel comes on Friday?

Well, that doesn't work like that then.

Mrs. Schirrmann
is a single parent.

That is not a free pass
for everything!

I hope that is clear to both of you!

That is clear like...

Like dumpling broth.

This is not funny, Mr. Stromberg.

- [Stromberg] Woah!
- [Wilhelmi] For God's sake!


[Bert sings confidently.]
♫My grandma's got a tapeworm,♫

♫He gives paw, he gives paw♫

[Phone rings]
[Ulf] ♫The Ernie learns in the soup bowl♫.

- ♫Swim♫ [all sing along].
- [Bert tries to make a phone call]

- Heisterkamp speaking?
- ♫Learn how to swim♫.

Ulf, is for you!

I have changed it especially for you,
so that I have my peace.


Dr. Schüller!

♫My grandma's breasts are hanging.
All the way to the floor, all the way to the floor♫.

♫To the ground♫

♫To the ground♫

♫My grandma's breasts are hanging.
To the floor♫

♫My grandma is a real smart pig!♫


Come on, one more!

♫My grandma has a belly button.
Full of crumbs♫

♫Full of crumbs,♫

♫Full of crumbs,♫

♫My grandma has♫... Huh?
My grandma has 'n

Cancer without scissors...

Nah, you don't joke about that.

♫My grandma has a wound.
With a lot of pus♫

♫With much pus,
With much pus!♫

♫My grandma has a wound.
With lots of pus,♫

♫My Grandma.
She's a pretty sick woman!♫

Oh, great!

I would have liked it better
if he had told me directly,

about the clothes...

Whereby, he has actually.

In his own way.

I mean, I can understand it too,

it is actually
something different than downstairs.

In that respect, it's okay.

Oh, sorry,

I just need
the receipt from the tax office.

For the calculation the day before yesterday,
once Tremmel, original tax office?


That got away from me.

Because of Tanja and the shopping!

Yes, that is of course...


[Jennifer] This is my mistake,
got through to me.


If you want to go all the way up with a balloon
want to, the ballast has to go.

Whether gold, old socks or woman.

Love of charity in the office...
No use at all!

You can drink a woman beautifully,
but you must never talk her up.

At least not
at this stage of the career.

There you can say 100 times,
humanly she is... Nah!

Nice does not win a war!

That is a fact.

If you go into battle with a smile on your face
and the other with a gun...

It's obvious who's going to win.

The bigger the office, the less space
is in there for the human.

[Tanja] You could have called,
that it would be later, right?

SMS or something,
I was really worried.


So, I mean.

That because of me now we also
we can't have children now.

Oh Wusel...

Och, what are you doing here?

I just need Ratzefummel,
because I don't have any more.

Ulf, are you crying?

Ernie, let's have a look, will you?

Do you have the test results, Ulf?

Is it time for children's songs?

- Ernie.
- That's nice!

Oh, I am so happy!

For both of you,
and Ulf is quite touched.

Ulf, I won't tell anyone!

How many months
are you now, Tanja?

Och, can I feel?

Oh man, get out of here you moron!

That's all I'm allowed to say.

It can't be!


Schirrmann Jennifer from room A321

this is the one after G190,

this is
[both] claims settlement.

There are two ottos under there,
once from the personnel officer and

from someone,
I can not read.

If I would work like this
like everyone else, nothing would progress.

Do you know anything about here?

I wanted to talk to you about it,
will you come?

And when about?

When my stuff
is down again or what?

So, now a moment here...

You brought dumplings here,

you can't even get them in the canteen!

Running around
like a garment bag from the Red Cross,

you waste important documents
and calling in the middle of the day,

"Hello, I'm at the doctor's!"

Yes, I went to the doctor's because I....

I am pregnant.

Yes, well, I am--

- Pregnant now in the sense of--
- Bernd.

And who would that be from?

Do you want to come down now,
or should I make something up?

[Jennifer] By the way, I called
called the tax office.

They put
the correct receipt stamp on it.

The klops would be gone.

What now, I have
for 10 minutes...

How I...

I should really
just go down like that?

Yes, tomorrow is the appointment
with the Tremmel.

Fuck you, Bernd, really.

But it is rare to have such a thing
in the anteroom.

These are the figures from January for now,

and here are the balance reports

and here are the claims reports
from the new quarter.

Ernie has also already
the depreciation out of it.

There I have in the life
in my life.


You don't expect something like this anymore!

Sure, when the gun gets older
the ammunition will not go bad...

- Ammunition, what's it all about?
- Here.

20 years ago I would have

with my Viking sperm
with my Viking sperm!

Elite shooter before the Lord,
one shot, Bamm!

[Stromberg makes
Baby noises and laughs]


You are going to tell him, aren't you?
To him!

I haven't seen him since yesterday!

you must have told, otherwise...

Cool, ey!

You go shopping once and already
you are big friends, what?

What's the matter?

[Tanja] Now come down,
I haven't told anyone anything!

Then why does he tell me
about his fucking Viking sperm?

What, did you tell it already?

Oh, what does rumzählt mean, I have--

I think that's nobody's business.

Oh she knows it already, it's cool!

To me you say nothing and
here it is called Viking sperm?

Oh, does everyone know now?

So, now slowly--

I would like to be godfather,

so CAPITOL godfather.

By then I will have
more experience with children.

Are you actually Catholic?

- [Colleague] Tanja I didn't know at all!
- Ulf, finally!

- Congratulations, Tanja!
- [Jennifer] You are pregnant too?

Nobody here is pregnant,
can we get a grip?

- [Tanja] How, too?
- [Bert] What do you mean, no one?

This is a claims settlement
and not a crawling group!

And now everybody goes back
to his place and works!


Not you, of course,
lie down for a moment.

Or take the day off altogether.


Even without a certificate!


I'll take care of it!

What will happen to me now,
now that the thing is back?

Yes, that's...

Great, I'm a single mother,
I can't go back and forth all the time.

Do you have children?

Nope. Yeah, uh...

So, maybe.

You are all crazy!
the whole department!

[Mrs. F.]
All of them, as they are here.