Stromberg (2004–2012): Season 4, Episode 8 - Die Rückkehr - full transcript

So, today we go back.

For the time being only by proxy,

as long as Blondie and Ulf
are on honeymoon.

There is still Mrs.. Dings
has fallen ill.

The quarterly figures have to be finished,
Becker could not help it.

Until an external
is trained...

and I know the store,
and I know me.

When I sit there,
I'm like the Jehovah's Witnesses.

Once inside,
I won't leave so quickly.

- [Magda] Already there?
- Almost gone again.

What about the stuff from headquarters?

Had to do it alone.
You know, from sex.

There were some things
with the central office.

[Stromberg mimics him.]

Says headquarters, so degrees not good,
so does not work at all.

You are also so real Africans.

They sit around and say: It's hot here.

Here is desert.

We need
Money. In the same desert

sit the gooks

and look at each other,
how is such a car built,

or a camera...

Oh, we'll steal that.

We will copy it,
only cheaper. Zack!

They are better off than we are.
I'm like that too.

They steal cars?


Mentally you are Africans
and I am Asian.

That's why I come out here
and you stay in the bush.

They were your degrees!

Exactly what I say,

It's always the others.

But if people want--

Do you have the skull
just for the perm?

Come up with something.

A Polish woman and an African,
the death combo

in this shithole. Bye-bye.

There he is again! Huge comeback!

As with the... with the testicle...

at the Tour de France.
Lance Armstrong!

With me, of course, with two testicles.


Lance Armstrong --> you nut.

What is this?

Tanja is not here.

But I am now, you cucumber.

Does anyone have a key?

Yes, Tanja.

Call upstairs, maybe they know something.

It's off to a good start here.



from the claims department--

Stromberg. I am standing
in front of my office and--

Yeah, great, thanks.

Mr. Becker, I am standing in front of my office
and I can't get in.

But that was agreed differently.

I can't join
with the others...

Sit down dorks.

It is not about difficulties,
it is about my office.

No trouble at all.

Ernie, old pudding chap.
How does it look?

That's soured milk.

Yes, super.

Jennifer and I are a bit
knick knack-moderately on the way.

Therefore I would best
sit next to Jennifer.

I'm already sitting there.

Yes, exactly.

That's why it would be great if you sat down
next to the Lehnhoff.

As long as Ulf is not there.


What do you mean, "nope"?

What does "nope" mean? Are you going to
some kind of Hartz IV John Wayne?

Nah, Tanja is the boss here.

As long as she doesn't order it,
I won't do it.

You can put me on my head about that.

For years I was 'a mozzarella.

A pale, shapeless lump.

- [Stromberg] You can still--
- Nope.

[Bert] Nobody wants him alone.

Only if there's a tomato in it,
or a pizza,

then it works.

Mom used to be my tomato.

My carrot
used to be a tomato, too.

So... the Vanessa.

The me times... my girlfriend,
I had... briefly.

But since the all

are no longer there,
I thought...

Mrs. Löppke said
that this is not true.

I am also valuable for myself alone.

And unique.

That is also true.

I really do not know
I really don't know anyone like me again.

Or, knows... nope.

- I have to--
- Just for a few days, for now!

Nah, anyway.

Sit over there,
damn it!

I won't!

I'm about to become a wild woman here,
I guarantee it!



I can't very well leave. Can he
stay for another hour?

Don't do it!

I will tell this to Mr. Becker.
He'll put you back in your kaffir.

I will not be threatened
threatened by a single-celled organism.

Can you guys cut the crap?

- He started it!
- How stupid can you be?


Actually my ex wanted to
was going to pick him up today.

All right, I'll come over now.

Thank you. Bye.

He started!

My ex did not pick up the little one.

I have to go by there quickly.

- Do you want me to come with you or--
- Nah.

Then I see
a nice place.


You understand, Lehn...


I want to be closer
to the normal people.

Not detached
in my own office.

Mr. Becker did not want
that you sit in the old office.

Bullshit! I said.

It doesn't matter. Such a top guy like you

has surely nothing against it,
to sit in front with Ernie.

And Jennifer and I here.

[Ernie yells] You don't have to do that!

Can't make you do it.

Nah, because, Tanja is here now
the boss!

And he is not anymore.

I'd rather stay here.

[Stromberg] At the office.
You're either God or Bratwurst.

There's nothing in between.

Can you sit in Jennifer's
Jennifer's seat? The Ernie--

If you were God, and people.

"We don't believe in you anymore,
sit down with the Indian."

Then you stand there.

I'm sure that's how it was.
in the French Revolution.

Where people said to emperor or king.

"Nope! Don't need you anymore."

We're doing democracy now.

The assholes there.

You can't keep me forever....

First Finsdorf...

Now I sit at the Indian.

Sometime is good.

That's bullshit!

Whether you're sitting here or in there.

This thing is a wall of boards
with some old armchairs in it.

No need to get ready.

But I'm sitting next to all the....


Now you are
not the big guy.

Now you are a little guy,
like all of us.

You won't die from it.

- Don't you like?
- Hello!

- You don't like?
- I've lost my appetite.

The Wagner just folded me.
Because of some shit.

As if I was too stupid for everything.

My back hurts...

I don't know, I feel like
like a compost heap.

But you are valuable and unique.

Really true!

I also thought
that it always rains into my heart.

Was also like that.

Still is sometimes, but

now sometimes not.

And now... oah!

This is gristly!

For me you are not a compost heap.

So not at all!

- Do you want my pudding?
- Nah, I don't like chocolate.

Me neither.

- Bye!
- Bye!

[Sascha] I've been running
for a quarter of an hour through a store.


Killer, all right?

- I'm already at 6,000!
- Clean.

- I still had to help Murat.
- You always have something.

I forgot,
you told me.

Am I in?

They've been there all day.

I have a job here,
don't you get it?

You didn't buy his drops
and the money for the class trip...

Every shit I have to think about!

- You are super. You never make mistakes.
- Watch out, master!

Come on, Bernd, let.

- Who are you?
- Come in here like King Strullermann

and goes for the Jennifer.

Bernd, it's okay.
Come on, let's get your jacket.

It's none of your business.

I believe that for you

with, lad.

This is a colleague, like me.
Whoever annoys her annoys me.

What is he like?

I just say "watch out", master!
And I mean it!

Shall we go outside the door?

I don't know what's going on,
but that thing in there...

If it wasn't for the short
and the TV shit...

- Without the little one I would be different.
- What?

I'm just saying!

That the little one is there
is also due to you.

I don't need to be taught
how I should deal with my son.

Jennifer doesn't have it so easy.

Financially and everything.

She can't complain.

She doesn't.

She is always in a good mood.

Always a kind word for everyone.

She never speaks badly about you
in front of the little one.

She laughs the sun off your face,

without being a "nice weather trine",
who always only... Nope,

she has heart!

Pretty great is the--

- Do you have everything?
- Yes yes.

On Friday I will pick you up.
Saturday we go to grandma.

He has swimming tomorrow.

Yes, I know.

Come on, killer! Let's get out of here.

- Bye, Möppel!
- Bye!

Was he lucky...
so close to a brawl.

Are brawls becoming
a regular feature?

But so...

Oh, because of the other day.
But when someone spouts such manure.

I'm pretty great?

Yeah, nah...

something like that must be... well... um...

What is that for?

- Morning!
- Morning!

Nope! Nah!
Come with me.

Look, the sun is already there.

Where is he?

Yes... Morning!

I talked with Ernie,
now here is free for you.


Did you promise him
to rebuild his mother out of savoy cabbage?

I promised to put in a good word
to put in a good word for him.

Holy shit! Sabbel and Ernie?

It's all right with me. That's just...

Great, right?

Swapping Ernie for Stromberg.
wasn't much of a sacrifice.

Smell alone...

But also otherwise.

As far as men go, I've pretty much.
all directions through.

From totally nuts to.


"Half-crazy" I even married
unsuccessfully married.

Maybe now it's just
"solid" on it.

The Stromberg is yes like Hanover,
or so.

If you're from New York,
it sucks, but if you're from...

Botswana, it's an improvement.

In terms of men, I just come
more from Botswana.

[Jennifer, chewing]

Here is better than in there, isn't it?

Like West and East Germany.

Here the West with fun, women
and tropical fruits.

There is work
and bad mood.


I'm sitting on the accounting for the WDG.

Should I include the
tie into the quarterly numbers?

Let's see.


I would say "EDG".

"EDG, don't you know?

"Just shit on it."

Do you understand?

I am in the West,
with a woman and a dreamer.

Shit like this
should do the Seifertsche.

I nix Schefe, I
normal employee... nix to do with.

The poor you have now totally confused.

[Stromberg] Could get used to it,
as "Karl Arsch in the last link".

In the past I would have
from my fingers.

WDG, boah...

Here comes the Becker
and fills you up:

"Stromberg, but we've been doing it
differently for years."

Now I have better things to do.
Open your mouth!

So, ready?

All on my command.
I'll count to three.

One... behind the line,
do not step over.

One, two, three!

Stop, Mrs. Thing! Don't move!
You measure the distances.

Some people would like to work.

Others just take a break!

Breaks are like tails,
the longer, the better.

That's why your pauses
are so short.

[Stromberg] I have the longest
and the furthest.

Nah, mine.

Fold some more.

[Employee] How do you want me to measure this?
Around the copier?




- Nah, it's reserved!
- Yes, come now!

Nah, Sabine should sit there.


Did you with Sabine already...

- What are you doing?
- I can't kneel with my eye.

Nah, I haven't gotten around to it yet.
I have to go back up.

See you later!

Is there anything you can do?


I am unique and valuable!

I am the only one
who knows Tanja's system.

Stay away from me!
This is nonsense to the power of twelve.

Nope, not at all!

A typical boss idea
from their little boss bower.

And the employees have to pay the price.

I do not think so!

Here, Sabbel.

We are talking about the bullshit
of Tanja.

Oh, the accounting system!

Yes, is good, ne?

Do you have something in your eye?

We have some people mad about it.

I think this is really good,
when it is finished.

These will be the beams of the cross
on which Tanja will soon hang.

- Nope!
- Before Easter!

I do not find!


- Sabine!
- No idea!

Chocolate pudding?

Nah, doesn't like it that way.

Oh, come here!

Open your mouth!

- Don't like them.
- Mmh, and?

- Yes, it is quite good.
- Likes it!

[Voices buzzing]

What's going on here?
Is there something for free?

Live from the honeymoon,
Mr. Stromberg.

- A movie?
- Boah, very close.


Hello, Mr. Stromberg!


That's great... they see me now?

She said "Mr. Stromberg", didn't she?

Yes. Yoo-hoo!

[Stromberg] How is it?
Are you regretting it yet, or...?

I can hold out for one or two years.
With her now.

All are totally nice to us.
From the hotel and stuff.

they have it good, and we have Ernie.

Who says you hang Easter on the cross
because of your system.

This does not belong here.

What about Easter?

- Stromberg means--
- Don't talk around.

Because everybody thinks your system is stupid,
he says.

Even those from the accounting department.

That's why I'm sitting here...
there, on Ulf's place.

He is also here again, now.

- What?
- There you are sitting in my seat?

That's temporary, probably.

This... uh...

[Murmur of voices]
Ah, yes...

- They're screwing with us.
- Yes!

- No!
- Aw, jeez, Ernie!

- That's where I'm sitting now.
- Leave it.

- Come on, stop it.
- Nah!

[Voices chattering]

Because he's sitting here in my seat!

And he has something like that here!

Do not worry,
we have everything under control.

Sabine from the accounting department
also said,

that this is not so good
with your sys--

Leave well alone!

I like it, the others don't!

We have to break up!

- Great, great!
- Super!

Give it a rest!

What I do with my foot
so 'n Ballack dreams of.

I didn't get anything done
because of you.

All this has to be
still to be finished!

We do not come
to the office for work!

I'm off. See you tomorrow!

- Bye!
- Bye!

Bye, Bernd!

- Bye!
- Bye!

What are you doing here? Is something with Helge?

No, everything is fine.

He means he left his game

I packed it!

You come here more often
than some colleagues.

I am sure
that I packed it for him.

It is not so important.
Can I have a word with you?

Private, or something. Best.

Is nix with Helge.

I just wanted to talk to you.


[Sascha] I've been thinking about what he said.
through my head.

- Who?
- See you tomorrow.

Your colleague with the face pussy.

The old man. At first I thought,
he has a sock shot, but

in principle, he is right.

I sucked!

And you just didn't.

[Yesterday, when I put the kid to bed...
to bed...

He was great, the short one.
That's mainly because of you.

Maybe I was too young and too stupid
when we were together.

When the old man raved about you,
then I knew--

When he says "the old man" again--

Leave us alone, please.

Just now you let my foot
and now--

Jesus Christ!

This is the first time we talk reasonably.
Besides, it's none of your business.

- Don't interfere with everything!
- When he says "the old man"!

Get out of here!


A relationship is not as personal,
as it looks from the outside.

There you are... RATCH,
you're replaceable.

He ran away somewhere, didn't he?

[Jennifer] Bernd.

Relationship is like Bundesliga.

In the past, players stayed
for their whole life with one club.

How about we...

go away together again?

Today, after three months.
lent out,

play somewhere else next season...
or abroad.

If you want to play,
you have to...

Blood straddle with such studs.
Otherwise, you can forget about it right now.

I'm sorry to be so... but.

that was all...


He wants to go to the amusement park
to Holland.

What am I supposed to do with him in the amusement park?

Not you, Helge!

For him this is also nothing.

It would be good if we could do
do something together.

I don't think so.

Oh man, Bernd!

I find that sweet.
He never thought of something like that before.

We were supposed to watch
We were supposed to watch TV together.

We can do that soon.

I thought after,

- right now.
- Not today.

I need time for myself, yes?



Do you still want 'n--

- Morning!
- Morning!

That takes time, doesn't it?

- Morning!
- Morning.

I'll pick you up
when Helge gets out of school.

Yes, me too. Bye.

Was that the father?

He wants to go this weekend
and has told Helge.

He is more excited than the little one.
Like before... the weirdo.

Good, "weirdo" I can do, too.

Excited I am too,

- when I think of you--
- The quarterly figures for Schneider?

- Already back?
- Came back yesterday.

What already boring with Ulf?

I haven't finished them yet.

It should be there on Monday.

I can't get this done on short notice.
I was going away for the weekend.

But that is urgent.

What about the WDG?

- I haven't got that yet.
- What?

He said that was "EDG".

- Right.
- What is EDG?

What about the special settlements?

Lying under 'm pile
Haven't made it yet.

As a boss you cannot
assume that people do it that way.

You have to be behind that,

like Count Dracula
behind the blood, I say.

You can't do that
from the hotel, that's clear.

But I am not a traveling circus!

Who is here today and gone tomorrow.
I don't do that.

Ulf, they all crumple!

You are still on marriage vacation!

Yes, but not now.

You with your: "Everybody finds your system

doof and Stromberg is back."

you have made them totally dumb.

We had to go home right away.
Because of you.

You bucket!

I am unique and valuable.

Get lost now!

Awesome, ey!

This is exactly how I imagined it.
I marry the

and then comes the fucking company


I also want to... live.

Not always for
these shitty few bucks.

You with your fucking
father-mother-child stuff!

Putting down the employees,

while you get yourself
from Ulf the rump

- by Ulf.
- Stromberg!

We were on our honeymoon.

Do we know about the politicians!

The fact is, important work
were not done.

Correct, is fact.

You told Mrs. Humboldt
that she first

on the WDG files...
That this would not be so important.

Just because you are sitting here,
doesn't mean you're the boss.

You could stand in a garage for years
for years, you won't become a car.

How do you want to proceed?

Schneider has priority, that should
do the Schirrmann prontissimo.

I am not talking to you!

I will take some things
into my own hands.

I can too!

- Delegation-wise.
- I'll be happy to do that without you.

I don't think it's a good idea,
to bring him back into the department.

Give me a break, missy!
Or quarter-long.

Sits for years in the last row

You decide, Mrs. Steinke. Stromberg
can go back to Finsdorf at any time.

I don't want to.

That this is over my head--

I think that would be the best solution.

I can do it better without him
better without him.

Mrs. Steinke...

[Jennifer] Now
talk to Tanja, without Becker.

I have my pride too.

If Miss Tanja means...

the best forces are worn out.

You don't bring wood into the forest either.

I go where
where my cooperation is appreciated.

I need the stuff from Schneider
and I need it fast.

The weekend is more important to me

I can't explain this to you,
with my ex, that

is maybe 'a chance.

[Stromberg] I have to agree with Tanja.

Schneider is the be-all and end-all
for the quarterly figures.

Gotta get it done.

Will you do it please?

First of all vinegar
with the "oh so important" weekend.

You suck sometimes.

All vinegar again for now.

I had another wobble.

I had it here... uh...

so, if in the canteen ...
if 's there times nothing, I had the

always as a reserve.

Actually had as a reserve.


I'm home again!
Must say,

I was really looking forward to Finsdorf
and to you.

And everything.