Stromberg (2004–2012): Season 4, Episode 7 - Gernot - full transcript

The brother-in-law!

Yes, that's Gernot.

Welcome to Finsdorf.

It's like lying in a graveyard.
Sure you want to get out of here.

[Achim] He brought me to the insurance
to the insurance company in the first place.

You used to work at "HELIOS."
Mr... may I call you Gernot?

No, you may not.

And yes, I was.

Shitty club that is.

But if he leaves here,
I'll try here.

Give me something to drink.

Is not sure
that he will go, is it?

His old lady wants to go to the city,
so he's moving to the city.

Not quite sure yet.

Your whole family has no eggs.
Do you think you will grow some?

Never seen such an arm?

Yes, yes, I just...

I prefer shirts with half arm
better than the others.

This is supposed to comfort me?

Sometimes less is more.

One hears that blind people can smell better
smell better than compensation.

That nature says :

"Oops, I made a mistake,

then I'll try harder at another place
more effort."

The report card is not so dölle.

They got on my nerves.

The other one is also rather...

Also such ass maggots.

Always fucking friendly.
I know what that means.

Friendliness is hatred.

They got that back from me.

At "DVAG" too...
Also such flat whistles!

It is so that we
already have several applicants.

Really? Who?

Quite a few.

Sure, I bet they all have
2 whole arms.

We do not set by number
of arms.

Otherwise there would be 3 squids sitting here.

It is about the technical,
that is important.

Disability is not a reason.
The Magdalena

comes from Poland and also works here.
I pay attention to that.

[Gernot] The bag should call me,
when he knows about it.

My sister says he would be quite nice.

My father says he is the plague.

You have to cut off both my arms
before a guy like that starts here.


She was cool!
This is 'ne aunt of Tanja, or so.

3 hours after the wedding
she was so drunk!

Always like this :
[imitates] "Weissu, the Tanja,

Tanja is such a good girl!"


We're looking at your photos right now.

Ulf, come here a minute?

So the tone changes,
barely, that she has the ring.

What's up, Mrs. Steinke?


I've been to a wedding, too.

Uncle Günter had cancer

and married Ingeborg.

Because of the supply.

He was soon dead,

and that she then also
gets the pension.

That was really 'ne quite quite
beautiful celebration!


If I go once...
then they all go again.

This is so... manno!

You stay a little longer, right?


When they are out of fries in the canteen,
that is stupid.

But this is 'n mega turd.

Do you think I don't want
on honeymoon?

Apparently not, otherwise...

Susanne called in sick.

Appendicitis. She will be out at least
the next 2 weeks.

- Becker means...
- I'm about to vomit.

Listen to yourself.

Becker thinks that it would be
would be inconvenient to drive,

where the week after next
the headquarters

my new system.

Then let's take Becker
with us.

Ah, Wusel...

I don't know either, but

we are too few people here anyway
if we two are also gone...

If they would take over
would take over my system...

Think about it!

We can go in winter.

In my ring it says "Tanja".
Look in yours.

Does it say "CAPITOL"?

Doesn't that...

I brought it for the little one.

For Helge?

How many more children do you have?

Thank you.

A new tactic,
to suck up to the son,

when you've screwed up
screwed up.

What do you mean by "screwed up?"
Just because

for a customer also privately

Of course!

Nothing happened at all
with Sally.

It's good.

I'll give it to him.

I wanted to... ouch!
[she turns it on]

I'm sure he's happy.

Even asked for you.

What's there? Trouble?

[Jennifer] Tanja is supposed to postpone the honeymoon
because of lack of staff.

Don't think that every time
you have to buy something for 'n Helge, if...

Does she? Or...

Hello! I wanted to say that you should
should have more respect for me.

Yes sure!

Do not flirt with the first slut
with the first slut.

Of course.

Bon appetit, Mr. Becker!

- Are you listening to me?
- Isn't she driving, Tanja?


Yes! Respect and... everything.

Wait a minute.

When the Mrs. Seif... Ms..

Steinke and Ulf drop out
and here is need at the man,

then I would be ready to come back
on a temporary basis.

We will solve that in another way,
Mr. Stromberg.

What are you doing
doing here again?

Is Finsdorf running by itself?

The good Lord also sees everything
without always being directly on the spot.

The personnel
have called back.

It is difficult with qualified
People who can fill in.

If you do want me to stay
I'll talk to my husband.

I've already offered my help.

You offered yourself.
That doesn't fall into the category of "help".

The undertone,
you are trumpeting here,

is out of place,
it's all about the department for me.

Couldn't we send the quarterly figures
to the head office later?

If the child fell into the water,
you have the wet child.

I tell you before, Tanja.

I don't want the impression
that I am leaving the department alone.

[Becker] Yes, I hope,
that the central office has understanding.

Sartorius just got divorced.

Honeymoon is not a good
is not a good argument.

I have a capable employee
who could start here.

Good man, best references,
has for years

worked at "HELIOS".

Unfortunately I have no use in Finsdorf
for another employee.

- My heart was bleeding.
- [Becker] What is the name of the man?

Graf, Gernot Graf.

Can I give you the documents...

So that you can see that there is no

about me personally,
but about the department.

[Becker] Send that to Ms. Seifert,
I mean, Mrs. Steinke

best by mail and copy to me.

Tanja, he is handicapped,

yes, but you don't hire him
as a juggler.

Yes, but that...

I don't understand that,
that you have such prejudices.

Especially among the disabled
there are excellent people.

Most of the great ones were full mongooses.

Beethoven, stone deaf,
Van Gogh, only one ear...

I know that they didn't work
Insurance company.

Gernot was already
with all the big insurance companies!

With the best references!
He has been well received everywhere...

Yes, I put the testimonials with it.

You must look again exactly.

Brilliant in any case!

Yes, it's good... yes.

Then I say : Have a nice honeymoon!
Yes... Bye.

Help yourself.

Liest one nevertheless so much from.

- Tomorrow.
- Morning.

My husband and I are grateful
for arranging this on such short notice.

[Ulf] Who?

Who is grateful?

Give it a rest!

My wife actually wanted
prefer to work, but...

I need a headset for the phone.

I have 'n right to it.

Have a look at the regulations!

I do not get fucked
just because I do temp work.

This is... um... Ulf?

Can you look,
if the IT people have something like that?

Will do, Mrs. Steinke.

Here it is probably
as with the "HELIOS".

[Gernot] I would be surprised, too,
if it was more exciting.

This is Mrs. Schirrmann.

Also so fucking happily married?

Happily divorced.

Better already.

Mr. Graf is kindly doing
the substitution...

Don't worry, the arm is the only thing
that has remained smaller.

This is the Ernie.

Mr. Graf is kindly doing here....

Why is he the Ernie?
And you here Mrs. Schirrmann?

[Ernie] I've been saying that for years.
Actually "Berthold".

Like my grandpa,
Berthold Heisterkamp.

[Gernot] Yours?

Mrs. Löppke gave it to me...

Because it is difficult for me from the mental...
that is difficult for me.

I used to eat "paroxetine".

- Yes?
- Didn't help either.

But I can't even
slit my wrists.


I'm off.

Because of the arm, he means!

Have a nice honeymoon.


[Ernie] Very good ...

[Ernie] Meal!

What are you doing here?

I wanted to see how it goes
with Gernot. I promised Tanja.

He is very funny.


I think it is the right one for
right for the department.

What did the short guy say about the car?

Was super happy.

- Yes?
- Total.

I have something like this
standing outside the door.

Could we both 'n bit ...

"do brrommm", right?

Nice together so 'n trip maybe,

the two of us.

- "Brooommm!"
- Stop it here!

We can go to the zoo together on Friday.

- Yes.
- With 'm Helge.


To the monkeys.


[imitates monkey]

[imitates monkeys]

[imitates monkeys]

Stromberg is a bootleg.

From my father,
he was also always like this


He always gave me an envelope
always gave me an envelope.

Then he made 'a servant,

then he gave me the envelope
with money.

There was always a little drawing
that he made,

of a bicycle, or what I had
just wished for.

So very small and...

With pencil. That was so...

Yes, and so is the Stromberg.
somehow too.

Feeling dyslexic.

Are you crazy?


Already settled in?

Dung remains dung, even if you
change the farm.


Under the hand, I...

So not under...

Between us : I would not
work myself to death here.

it's more like a vacation.

Only you don't have to put a towel
on your chair.

What's this shit about the 2 systems?

Also such an invention of Tanja.
Do not pay attention.

Berthold! Berthold!
Can't save that shit.

[Stromberg] No one can see through that.
A shit is that.

[Ernie] If one is in the system...
There you see, who...

Oh, the Lars.

Lars, go out of the accounting.

You are not logged out.

You always have to do it right away...
otherwise it is useless.

[Lars] Go count your scales,
you have something to do.


Nulpe, didn't you hear
what the man said?

Get your county savings bank ass
to your seat.

And make it snappy.

District savings banks... splendid.

- [Ernie] When he's out, you can...
- [Gernot] All right, thank you, very nice.

Here, right?

[Lars] I'm out. Satisfied?

There she goes... District savings bank.

Can not stand,

when such a chess club face
makes fun of Berthold.

Always had priority with me.

Thank you, Berthold.

Bullying. Just at the Ernie.

Uh, Berthold. There calmly radically proceed.

To clear the jungle you don't need
no potato knife, but 'ne machete.

Are you staring so stupidly?

No, everything is running.

fine, here, Tanja.

But, the Gernot comes here completely


Enjoy your honeymoon.
You don't have them that often in your life.

At that time I got along
got along well with my wife.

Career is not nun field hockey.
There had to work with all the tricks.

Is like flirting.

Can not fall with the truth
into the house. Say first: Have you

great eyes.

Boah, you have inner values.

All the junk.

All the clobber.

All lies, but necessary,
to get to the goal.

That's how it works in the office.

Without eyes, without values and everything.

In this sense works
so 'n Gernot Graf for me.

You see?

Yes, Lehnhoff.

I wanted to ask for an appointment
with Mr. Becker.

It's about the general situation.

Yes, great. Thank you.

[Stromberg] To the Becker?
Is there trouble? Because of him?

I don't imagine that's easy.
I had it once.

I once had tennis elbow
from wallpapering.

I have the apartment all by myself ...

Anyway, you notice first, so 'n arm

is already something fine.

If you want to itch
and you can't reach it,

then I understand
that so 'n Gernot Graf

is not in such a good mood.

Not in such a good mood?

I'm on 180 how he's acting.

Like this.

You have to give Tanja credit....

What is she thinking,
to put him in front of me!

It doesn't have to stay like that!

If you were to go to Becker....

I have also already
offered myself on a provisional basis.

But if someone like you
would go to the Becker

and would say: "Gernot Graf
is 'ne armless Stussbirne"...

"We want the Stromberg back."

"The Stromberg...
Would be much better suited."


Did he work in the "HELIOS"
as a bouncer, or what?


[Stromberg] Or as a one-armed bandit.

[imitates a slot machine]

With people like that, you had to watch out.

Physical infirmities are often...

Hitler... a testicle...

Zack, immediately made world war.

Historical fact.

You can have them all.

Tanja has already earned her honeymoon
already earned,

that has to be said.

There it can happen,

that one does not look closely at such a temp
not look closely.

Just now, when the quarterly figures
have to be finished.

I offered...
But didn't want the fine Tanja.

Wanted rather here ...
Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Also has such small arms.


Let me say... With me you would not have
not so' n trouble.


Wasn't all bad with...
here with...

Lurchi! Yes!

- Morning.
- Morning.


Off the cuff. Nice and easy.
Never look at the arrowhead.

Always look at the board.


there is someone you do not like
and... bang!

In the eye.

I know a lot of people there.

Just from the department.

There I often thought
that you can really...

But then...

My mother said :
"The wiser gives way".


So everybody here was lucky.

So far.

That with the smarter one is nonsense.

The one with the smaller balls gives in.

That's what it looks like. Do it again, come on.
It will be all right.

One thing I have learned :

Meet the others,
before they can hit you.


In here.

Nah, in there.

Here. There like that.

I am so like a stewardess.

On the plane.

When they say something, at the beginning ...

Where the water wings are,
or the exits...

No one ever listens there either.

Although that is quite important,
what they say.

Berthold. Fupp.!

Okay, fupp!

[Staff] Can you guys stop?
I'd have to get on that.

When I fly sometimes,
so sometimes...

I am already...
there I always totally listen.

Quite attentive.


I think that they are happy then,
the stewardesses.

It is not a pub!

[Gernot] We will stop
when we are finished.

Because we are here. At first, namely.

Do you want to arm wrestle?

With the smarter one, I don't do that
not for much longer!

I'll tell you that already!

So it is here with me too.

What are you doing with that bird!

- He has very small balls.
- Spastic.

If someone gives me...

If someone is interested,

so, for me now...

then I'm just happy too.

Little arm sucks, or what?

Nonsense, Gernot is not
over me!

What about Gernot?

I was skeptical from the beginning,
but Tanja : "I want him."

[Achim] Gernot was happy,
when you called him.

Take your butt for a walk.

Nah, not you.
Gernot was Tanja's idea.

Because I see the Gernot next week.

Crack ass? To you, or what?

You have of course also 'n...

Of course it's an impertinence.
I'll talk to him.

Although this is actually Tanja's...

No need to get loud.



That's called "triple 20".

That will be 60 points.

- Morning.
- Morning Joe. I was playing darts yesterday,

with the Gernot.

"Tripple 20, yes,

that's just a very tiny thing.

Like a dwarf's tail,

said Gernot.

He has for all the things
so terms...

Totally dirty often, yes?

Did you ever do that?


Yes, and it was dull.

I think it would be better if you could get ahead
with the quarterly figures,

instead of telling me about the pub crawl
with Gernot.

Always with your 'm work!
Gernot also said.

That yesterday, with playing darts,
that was nice.

Beautiful is still better
than working.

Here. Yes.

Notti! Are we going again today?

[Gernot] Logical, right?

Yesterday was just for fun.
Today it's about money.

As far as I am concerned
we can leave today at noon.

Let's practice already.

Surely not!

The deuces are still missing,
and you go play darts. I would know, though.

[Gernot] Man, man,
you're as loose as a bar of iron.

Look what I have with me.

If they had tits,
it would be my case.

- What was that?
- [Gernot] Nothing.

[Jennifer] Here, look at this!
That's what they all look like.

I can redraw every process
again, which he has made.

[Stromberg] That's why
I should come here? I thought...

All the time he gives me
Chauvinist sayings, then this.

Can you talk
talk to your guy?

What does "my guy" mean?
Mainly Tanja.

That is so typical.

I will grab this one
and say that it doesn't work like that.

Thank you, very nice.

[Gernot] Well, crack ass?
We're leaving at half past noon.

- Are you crazy?
- Leave it to Gernot.

[Stromberg] I'll do it.
Friend, it doesn't work like that.

- Here with the ...
- [Stromberg] Say!


Leave Gernot in peace.

Otherwise we can arm wrestle.


These are the two right ones :
Class meeting of the "Aktion Sorgenkind".

You let your hand
from my butt!

- [Ernie] Problem child?
- What was that from you?

That's what I wanted to say.
Watch this,

go in, you wait here.

And you also make... Take off!

[Gernot] I don't give a damn,
whether they show it!

[Stromberg] Come on, friend,
we talk plain language.

[Gernot] Wanker! Plain language enough?


[Stromberg] First, from direct hitting.
In the sense of "hitting",

is out of the question.
That's where it starts.

The nosebleed is psychosomatic?

The thing is
the Jennifer from behind...

grabbed her.

I'm separating this into 2 aspects :

One is your behavior,
Mr. Stromberg!

The other, your activity
in the department, Mr. Graf.

[Ernie] Palimpalim!

Mr. Becker, I just wanted to say,
Herr Graf is a fine colleague.

- I'll put my hand in the fire for that.
- Ernie, you are not asked.

- [Ernie] Just not "Ernie"!
- Mr. Stromberg!

I ask you to stay outside,
Mr. Heisterkamp!

Your behavior, Mr. Stromberg
was again unprecedented!

Whereby I already think that I ...

However, Mr. Stromberg
no longer belongs to the department.

About you, Mr. Graf
colleagues have complained.

Also about your work.

I have therefore
Files processed by you.

This does not correspond in any way
our expectations.

I'm not going to get a folder.

Then some chewing gourd here tells me,
that I do a shitty job.

Find yourself another fool.

[Stromberg] Office is like chess.

If you want to beat the queen,
you have to sacrifice a pawn.

Or a rook. Or a... uh...

Whatever they're all called.

Assuming Tanja is the lady,

Then I'll let some farmer Gernot
over the knife

to put the queen
checkmate the queen!

With all the criticism of my
Mr. Graf is already...

Stop it,
Mr. Stromberg!

I just mean that, for example
as a substitute here again.... or?

[Jennifer] It's been a while since a man
fought for me.

It goes without saying.

Excuse me, when I see
how he...

I'm sorry, my spleen is overflowing.
the spleen over.

I can't believe you.

I could not have guessed :

From the caterpillar, which I have set,
did not become a butterfly,

but a warthog.


Speaking of :
With the zoo on Friday, is that on?

If you promise
not to attack helpless animals.

I'll let you know later, okay?


[he plays darts]