Stromberg (2004–2012): Season 4, Episode 6 - Sally - full transcript

[Stromberg]
The Bringer...

By the way, the Bringer can also fetch!

The workshop guy promised me
it will be ready tonight.

[Stromberg]
Come to Finsdorf afterwards!

- Nah, today is bad.
- Tomorrow?

There I have the Helge.
I have to go in.

If it's because of the other day,
so I meant engagement, very loose!

In fun!
Practically like Ascension Day.

That is meanwhile
mainly Father's Day.

Nobody believes anyway,
that he went to heaven like that!

It's about drinking,
that's what I meant by the betrothal!



It's okay, you are not 30 anymore
and you probably thought somehow...

What do you mean, not 30 anymore? Am I too old for you?

No!

[Stromberg.]
First of all, I'm not that far away from 30!

I really need to get in now!

Or does the beard bother you?

- I can take it off!
- No!

Maybe you are not
too old for me,

maybe I am just
too young for you!

- We'll talk on the phone, okay?
- Yes, we'll talk on the phone!

I'm like a gouda,
He gets better with age, after all.

It's not like that with all men!

Muhammad Ali, for example.

Once such a giant,
today just a heap of misery.



I am rather a reverse Ali.
Used to be a bit of a...

but now tippi toppi!

In any case, it is nonsense to say,
Torschlusspanik

and Jennifer last exit
before the retirement home.

I think, especially as far as women are concerned

I am still very good in business!

[he blows a kiss]

[he sniffs]
Whoa!

[music]

Looking at your balance sheets,
financial statements and efficiency!

Efficiency rather less.

- Not good?
- Nah, that's bad!

You are as helpful here
as breasts on a nun!

Ten a week we said!

You've been behind for weeks!

We have not even talked about
not even talked about yet!

[she laughs]

Breasts on nun is good!
Where do I have breasts? Here is breasts!

[Stromberg]
What's that?

Wants them insurance, too,
special insurance!

- That's a...
- Power dance. Saber dance. Saber dance.

Table dance. That's what I mean.
They come with a village slut who....

"Since my body is my capital,
I want to insure it against failure."

- Congratulations, Mrs. Prellwitz!
- Not good?

No, that's bullshit!

Did she put photos here.

Sally Sunday, my goodness!
She lives in Finsdorf?

Yes, address is up here.

This is still nonsense!

- [Sally] This is Pasha, by the way!
- Hello, Stromberg!

Just get in, follow me!

[Stromberg] Oh, here, everywhere!

- [Sally] Just sit down!
- Thank you!

You guys want something to drink?

Nope. I'll make it real short. You want to
Insure your body, woman....

Sally. Is my stage name.
Actually Ute. But Ute is just so...

Sally!

[she laughs]

[Sally.]
I read that Heidi Klum,

if she breaks her leg,
she'll get tens of millions.

[Stromberg]
Yes.

Heidi is, of course...

With me it would be surely
a little less, that's clear.

But in principle

it is the same. With leg break
I can't work anymore either.

As far as occupational disability is concerned....

Just briefly as an example!

This here, that was Bijou,
that's the little bright one back there!

She is malle in the head,
hit me in the claws!

With an inflammation
then that's it with dancing!

[embarrassed]

Sorry, was I a bit direct?

[Stromberg] Come on!

[Sally] I think it's cute
when men blush!

[Stromberg] Red is nonsense now!

[Sally] Most of them get so grabby,
I'm not into that at all!

So men at your age
I think they are cool!

Me too. So not men now.
You can call me Bernd!

I feel so old with the
sneezing. Stage name "Brad Pitt".

You're a real firecracker!

Wait a moment,
now I look serious!

I will have a glass

... Water!

All right, Brad! See you in a minute!

"All right, Brad," she says!

Well, fart lump?

- Hello!
- Hello! What are you doing here?

I am here
for a special insurance.

Can I give you a ride to the garage?

That's sweet, but I have
a little bit of work to do here.

I'll take the bus later.

Or so! Was worth a try.

Ooohh!

What is this?

An acquaintance, the Sally.

Sally?

Stage name. Her name is Ute,
but that's a bit...

She is easy going
and thinks I'm good. Look!

She spoke to me
about insurance.

For which insurance
do you need such photos?

That's a little complicated, now....

She wanted to have dinner with me tonight
something to eat, because she thinks I'm good!

So I said, slow down,
you young... Hop!

Now I ask only,
what Jennifer is up to!

I told you this morning
I can't today!

Sally is just
on more mature men.

[Jennifer]
She doesn't look like that!

[Phone]

Hello?

Yes, I'll be right up!

It's no problem, okay!

I have to go up to accounting for a minute.

I would say,
we'll just make a phone call, okay?

[Stromberg.]
Ch...

[Ernie] This is my dad. I fell into a fountain
in the village into a fountain

and he said, it's your own fault,
you're not paying attention!

I had to sit all day with wet
I had to eat plum cake all day with wet clothes on the table.

These are the plums!

[Tanja] This is from the Rodach file,

I searched for it like a fool
for two hours!

Mrs. Lübke said,
I should record everything!

[Tanja]
But not on a balance sheet page!

You know I'm in trouble because of Rodach!

Becker is constantly pressuring about it!

Do you want to ruin
ruin my wedding?

I have to think about myself too!

[Tanja] You should, of course!

There is Capitol,
there Stromberg and the others!

I used to get teased a lot here....

by many! And also exploited,
that's why it is so, with me!

I don't think that's true.

Yes, I do! They all don't like me!

I know too.

That is why it is so with me,
that's what Mrs. Lübke said too!

But I like you!

I know, here you are!

[Stromberg]
Bowling at a bachelor party?

[Ulf] That came up.

Skittles is nonsense!

On the last day of freedom
you don't go bowling!

There the pope strips,
there the sow circles!

- [Lehnhoff] Forbidden by the boss.
- [Ulf] Go take a shit!

[Stromberg]
What do you mean? Because of her?

[Lehnhoff] Bowling was not the first plan.
not the first plan.

[Stromberg] Wait a minute!
Do you know the "Knusperhäuschen"?

At the highway exit
behind the furniture center?

Nah, I don't care either.

I have good contacts there!

There is an old acquaintance of mine.

Nothing to do?

In this store I can make something clear!

I don't want this at all!

If this already
starts like this with Tanja

then she will use your dignity
as a cleaning rag

for the corners behind the toilet,
where it is difficult to reach!

She's already wearing the pants!

If not even at your
Bachelor party is something in it!

[Tanja]
Mr. Stromberg! Time again?

I was about to leave,
but I met Ulf. How's it going?

Ernie is still not over the hill.

[Stromberg]
The working atmosphere cooled down a lot

since I am no longer here?

[Tanja] Why?

There is more discontent noticeable.

Not only with Ernie.

[he chuckles]

I didn't say anything!

This is Sally, an acquaintance.

We're discussing the bachelor party.

Look!

[Tanya]
I have a younger brother.

I used to have to tell him,
clean your room, wash up,

Don't leave your titty books lying around,

When he was going through puberty,.
Quite badly!

In principle, everything like Ulf.

I had also made clear to my brother
made clear to my brother that...

when I say something like that
it doesn't mean I don't love him.

On the contrary. And he understood that.

As smart as my brother.
I hope Ulf is too.

For me you can go twice a week
twice a week.

I don't want to, I told you!

But three days before our wedding,
that I find simply assi!

Only chavs do that!

Do you think I am stuffy?

Nope, nonsense. We are going bowling!

With non-alcoholic beer,
all at home at 10.

I just let myself be laughed at,
I'm easily over it!

I can organize a feast with an orgy
before the next marriage!

- You are so stupid!
- Wedding is a woman's thing.

As a guy you keep yourself
best to stay out of it completely!

These are girls, when they are so big
they already play wedding.

They have an exact idea,

how all this has to be done!

As a man you think
three days before.

I would be stupid to do the wild max.

I think,
that has nothing to do with being a wimp.

Not at all.

[soft music]

It is not easy,
what you want from us,

but I checked with the head office
again.

We could offer
Term life insurance to offer.

- [Achim] Mahlzeit!
- [Stromberg] Meal time!

Hello!

- They pay if I can't dance?
- [Stromberg] Yes.

Not in every case,
but, for example, in the case of an amputation.

I'm going for a moment. See you in a minute!

That's what I mean about the young guys,
they always start drooling.

[Stromberg] Understandable!

Why grape juice when you can have well
matured top wine?

63iger Chateau Strombersch.

[she laughs]

Speaking of which, what to drink? Coffee?

- Tea!
- Tea, yes!

Could I do what you're doing,
Tabledance!

[Sally] Yes!
[Laughter.]

Mint or rosehip?

Ernie, do you have the Rodach stuff ready?

[The Winner Takes It All - ABBA]
I brought me some nice music!

Music is good, said Mrs. Lübke!

[Tanja] Yes, certainly.

And I don't get
the others when I have them on!

Have you finished Rodach?

- Did you finish Rodach?
- Yes, I did.

[Tanja] Great, thank you.

Shit, Ernie,
we need these by Friday!

[he sings.]
The winner takes it all.

The loser has to fall

It's simple and... Hmm ?

Why should I complain

- [Ulf] Really not!
- [Tanja] He would be totally happy!

Skittles is okay,
but I do not take also

Ernie with!
At some point it's time to stop!

[Tanja] He said that he felt here
totally excluded and

doesn't feel like working because of that.

I don't feel like it either!
Doesn't give a damn either!

- But if Ernie here fails ...
- You take him with you!

With the boys he fits even less!

I have to deliver Rodach by Friday!

Otherwise I sit here in our
Honeymoon here, is that what you want?

Please. Ernie is the only one
who really knows his way around!

Are you taking him with you?

Nope.

[Ernie singing]

I think Tanja is just
a bit overwhelmed.

I know, you would have everything
much better under control.

[she laughs]

Yes. Ulf is even supposed to take Ernie to his
Ernie's bachelor party.

He did! He told me so himself!
The poor bastard!

Nah, I still think bowling.

Now don't push me so!

Pushing is quite unsexy,
Mr. Stromberg!

I'll finish my stuff here
and then you can look, yes?

[Super Trouper - ABBA - from headphones]
[he sings along]

Are you offended now or what?

Have fun with Sally! Bye!

[Ernie]
Super, dupapa.

[soft music]

- [Sally] For your employee?
- [Stromberg] Yes!

You realize,
I am not the typical boss.

In the department where I
normally am as a boss,

next week marries
an employee...

[Meow]
Yeah, stinker!

He makes on Friday
Bachelor party with bowling!

This is a snore plan!

That's why I would like to
I would like to surprise him!

I think it's great,
I would like to have such a boss!

- Poldi, now shut up!
- Poldi?

He ran to me and is just a bit stupid!
Therefore.

What do you think,
if I arrive full bland?

So with hair back,

maybe one more pair of glasses,
and then full go!

[Stromberg] Certain orchids.
attract certain bees.

No one asks if the orchid
Is 10 years older than the bee!

And I am such an orchid too!

I just have
this certain attraction to women...

you can't learn that!

[rhythmic music]

The individual woman is that.
not even aware of it, like the Jennifer.

She doesn't rate me that way.
Would be good if she gets that!

[Ernie]
Is that from you, Ulf, with the bowling?

- Is for me?
- [Ulf] Hm.

Because it says here
"because of bachelor party"?

- [Ulf] Yes.
- And you want me to go with you?

- Yes.
- Who else is coming?

- Buddies of mine.
- From here, I mean!

- You, stop.
- Just me?

[Ulf] Yes.

That's already Friday.

- Did Tanja tell you...
- No!

[Ernie]
Well, I'll have a look!

- I'm glad!
- [Ernie] Yeah.

- What?
- Lars] Nothing!

[Ernie sings Mamma Mia]

[Tanja] A breakthrough!
Ernie took on Rodach!

Sure, because he is happy that you take him
take him with you. That's sweet of you!

That costs, I tell you!

I buy an aluminum rod in the hardware store
and dowel it into the bedroom!

Then you strip
every goddamn night!

[Tanja] Can we talk about it!

[Laughter]
[Ernie sings]

[Ernie sings]

- Ulf will make eyes!
- I hope so!

Is Tanja Seifert still there?

No, she's having a bachelorette party.

Excellent!
But the Jennifer Schirmer?

- She should still be there.
- Super!

They called you, didn't they?
I was standing...

We don't have to be that precise...
Let me help you

With the suspenders and thongs!

Children? Very briefly!

I realized
that it became difficult here

since I am not the boss anymore.

And just now, when Ulf can enjoy his
last days in freedom!

You have to do something

that's why I brought my best
specialist from my office in Finsdorf,

the Sally!

- [Sally] Hello!
- [Ulf] Hello!

[Stromberg] I thought we can't let Ulf down
on a day like this!

That's why we protect you
today at your work.

- Shall I?
- Yes.

All right, let's see.

I don't know what this is going to be,
but my buddies are waiting for me at 7!

[Stromberg]
Now wait and see!

[Ernie sings Dancing Queen]

[Ulf]
No shit now, I don't know....

[Stromberg]
How does this work here?

[Rock music]

My friend Sally!

- Stop it, turn it off!
- [Stromberg] Sally from Finsdorf!

[Applause]

- Turn it off!
- Sally, friend of mine!

Now turn it off, please!

I have no desire
that you all the time

cleaning the toilet with my dignity!

- What?
- Stromberg is right, it goes after you!

Because you want to be more boss,
I have to take Ernie with me!

To my bachelor party
Because of your fucking Rodach files!

I was so looking forward to the evening!

[Sally] I hope Ulf doesn't get
doesn't get into trouble!

It will be all right!

That was a great surprise!

Here, Jenny, Sally!

- Hi!
- Hi!

It's my fault, Tanja was already gone.

I help Ernie with the Rodach thing
and wanted to show her something!

Shit, what is that?
Hold on a second!

That's the one with the insurance,
with the photos?

Yes and?

I said, this is an old friend.

- All right.
- Yes.

I have several women

where I would say
we are friends. It's normal!

- You don't have to justify yourself!
- Nope. Bye!

First nothing comes from you for days

now I stand here like a schoolboy
and have to deliver explanations!

- Because I'm meeting a friend.
- I said nothing!

No wonder if I look for others
if nothing comes from you!

Don't run away!
Just because I am two, three years older.

does not mean
I am dependent on you!

- There is no reason...
- Goodbye!

that you have a
A huge jealousy barrel open!

- Where are you going?
- To the toilet!

How does the coffee cream get here?

[Ernie]
No more bowling today.

[Sally]
I think that's cancelled, too.

It's always like that,
the nice things never work out!

Why is that?

Never mind!

It does not matter! Tell me about it!

Tell aunt Ute what is going on!

Also drink something?

Soured milk.

[Stromberg] I just reacted
a tad wrong...

[Jennifer]
Ticking is good!

I have a son,
so I don't need your kid stuff!

I thought you were more grown up!

- But...
- Let me!

Jesus Christ, I was just saying....

[Jennifer] Either I do what you say,
or you find yourself a stripper.

Whatever you say. Sally is not
that pinched, not to me.

- That's great!
- Yeah.

I don't want to hear anything from you!

There she is! I was looking for you!

- Searched and found!
- Anyway!

I thought,
before we dackeln to Finsdorf,

that we would go around the houses?

I promised Berti
that we would do something.

Who?

Someone has to take care of him,
he is like one of my cats!

- Oh, Ernie!
- He doesn't like that!

- But the Ernie is a little...
- [Ernie] Hello, what about me?

You and I are going to have a good time!

And, Bernie?

Can you take my shit
to Finsdorf to the office?

Then I don't have to lug it around!

- Bernie.
- That would be totally sweet of you!

[Ernie] Bernie!
[he laughs]

[Tanja]
I'm going home to change.

- [Ulf] Have fun!
- [Tanja] You too!