Stromberg (2004–2012): Season 3, Episode 8 - Erika - full transcript


- Here is our simulator.
- No way!

Here, we brought you something.

- Here, for you.
- Kids... Thank you, this...

You shouldn't. I think
I am not allowed to do all this...

[Ulf] Hm, can I do it then?

- Ulf.
- What, I had no time.

How are you doing, huh?

The professor says arteriosclerosis
in the coronary vessels.

It's me, the classic heart case!

[Erika laughs]

Oh children, I am not allowed to laugh,
it makes me sick.

Laughter is still the best medicine.

But not with cancer.

My aunt Hildegard, they have just
just completely gutted down there.

[The woman in the neighboring bed
moans in pain]

This has been going on all the time, yes?

They took away
half of her stomach...

Come on, stop it.

Now the heart
is also attacked,

so this does not look good.

At 52, right?

My mom was also
still very young when she...

[The woman is in great pain]

But otherwise you have
it very nice here.

[Theme song]


I don't like to go there so much.

Notice how fast
life is often over.

And what did you get out of it?

Here. Divorced.
Officially now.

And since then nix was practical.

In every parsonage runs
more with women than here.

But also otherwise...

Just imagine, if I had to go to
Hospital, who would visit me?

Except you now maybe,
the one or other colleague still...

- Oh, I didn't know that--
- Ah, the Sabbel, come on!

- I can come back later--
- It's nonsense, come here!

I have the damage lists
from Degustra here.

I think Erika did that,
but unfortunately she is now...

Can you check this?
I can't book it like that.

Come closer, I won't bite.
So just go where it feels good.

I believe that, but can you
please do the math again?

Yeah sure.

- Yeah, uh...
- Attention.

Oh, that one goes with solar cells,
I have to hold it up to the light first.

So, I will come back in summer
when there is enough sun.

It's only a matter of a few million.

Like this.

Even the capitol mattress,
which slides around on every guy here.

What does she want from me?


That's how it is, as a boss in my position,

there you are as lonely as God.

[Tanja in Italian]
Si, si. Domani sera...

Eh, shit. I really need
learn vocabulary.

- Yeah, let's study together.
[Ulf rattles his toy.]

Nah, uh, nix. Why don't you come
to our apartment.

Yes, that's great, and will you bring
a bottle of wine?

Yes, I will.

Are you still calling Trixi and Ina?
[Ulf snaps]

Yeah, great, so around seven?

Okay, see you then, bye!

- What are you pantomiming?
- It means "Nah, no women's shelter."

We all have to learn vocabulary anyway,
so we can go together--

When I wanted to watch soccer with the
with the boys, you also pulled a face.

Yes, because then the apartment
like a bar for three days.

Then it stinks like, like...

I don't know.
Anyway, I think it's shit.

- Yes and now?
- I don't know.

Come on, Schnick, Schnack,
the winner is determined.

You have no chance, you make
Fountain, I paper, you lose.


Schnick, Schnack, Schnuck.

[Tanja laughs.]
You said I'd make fountains.

Yes, the chickens
into my house.

- Oh Wusel.
- No, I'm completely serious!

Really, you are not the determiner.

Can not be,
that it always goes only according to you.

After all, we live there together.

[Ulf] At the Bund I was with 5 guys.
in a parlor.

And there was never any stress.

Now I live together with a woman
and there is only theater over nothing.

She could catch me with four models
in bed,

there would be less trouble than if I
I put the dishwasher in the wrong place.

Why do you actually learn Italian,
why not something sensible?

Or driving a car properly?

Wow, she is also... uh...

If you don't watch out, she'll soon fly to the
soon flies to work on a broom.

What do you think I'm glad,
that I am single again?

I can do everything
I want to do.

I can... uh...

Tanja is probably in bed 'ne grenade
and outside 'n Rohrkrepierer.

Pipe burst? Tanja is
certainly no Rohrkrepierer!

Come on, we can talk, we are the only
only real guys here. Canteen?

- Already? No, I still have to...
- Yes, it's nonsense here.

That's what our recorder face does.
Here, clay... uh...

Do this, this is important!

Yes why should I now,
this is for the--

[Stromberg] Because I said so,
that's how it looks.

The shit always flows
from the top to the bottom.

So Ulf, come on, happa happa.

I don't know at all,
if they already have something in the canteen.

Yes... In case of need,
I always have a tight Max with me.

[Wehmeyer] We have to pull out all the processes
that exist.

Please send me an e-mail
with the Degustra correspondence.

I have to check,
if there is something...

[Stromberg hit his head]

What are you doing?

I have this calming ball,
you are supposed to knead it against stress.

Now the seam here has burst open
and all the balls are like this...

Ahso, yes in front was none,
so I went in...

- Have you read my mails?
- No!

Not the one from Degustra!

- Och here also everywhere globules--
- What is now with Degustra?

- Hm?
- That's why with you.

I can't imagine that,
my department--

Who processes the transactions in your department?

The thick... the Erika Burstedt.

And you didn't counter-calculate that?

With the damage volume
of 23 million euros?

This can cost you your job,
do you realize that?

Can we stop this now?

I think it is not necessarily
the time to be here...

[Wehmeyer] We have to talk about it
talk about it again.

Yes, that the table comes away
and just put two walls here.

So and so, and a hatch here.

That if somebody wants to put me files--

- Pass-through...
- Exactly, it must be possible!

Because if I do not soon
sit here alone, then...

I can't do anything here either,
because someone is always doing things.

As you look now, you should get
an executive office with leather seats.

Nah, that's not necessary at all.

And a couch where you can
seduce the secretary...

[Bert chuckles]
You are a brand to me.

But seriously,
you are on the works council.

Maybe you can enforce that?

At the Becker or something,
I pay it myself if necessary.

I have already heard, you are
a really good match.

With the new clothes and all...

It would be a pity if we
hide such fine things behind walls.

[Bert] If you as a man.
financially standing in order.

You have to be careful with women
watch out like a salmon.

Uh... Lynx.

Women always want only one thing.

And there has already looked around
one looked around afterwards.

[Bert] And I, of all people, must now
be very careful.

Is this now about me as
body and so on,

Or is that about my money,?

And the one is not with me.
without having the other.

There I am hard as nails.
Also towards women.

I have to be now,
in my position.

All this is of no use...
Here, it's still broken, the chair.


World doubles championships!

Team Capitol One

has put on rain tires
and has an advantage

compared to Team Capitol Two,
who are disqualified anyway,

because here is not
double seated!

Because twice sat keeps better!

You have it,
there is time for that all of a sudden?

I've got to go, but Quasimodo's brother-in-law
Quasimodo's brother-in-law here!

- Quasimodo's brother-in-law!?
- Don't get on my nerves!

Yes, I'm going.

The Wehmeyer has just put me on
because of the Degustra!

- These are Erika's things.
- Oh what!

Where does she have the clearing key,
I need the documents!

Jesus! A mass grave for candy bars!

You would have had to do the Degustra stuff alone anyway
alone anyway, because from the volume--

But I gave it to Erika
and the fat one screwed it up.

- Hm, they are still from Wiebrecht.
- Delicious.

So, where did the stupid cow...?

Ah, Degustra.

Oh, green shit!
no pig can see through this!

- What is this?
- A pass-through.

[slams door]

Erika. Hi there!
What do you have...

Oh God, now she's sleeping.
Erika! Erika!


- Mr. Stromberg?
- Yes...

I got a sleeping pill.

I didn't feel so well.
[The bedmate moans in pain.]

Mhm, yes. Erika,
I don't feel soo good either.

What have you done here
at Degustra?

Come on! Hello!
Don't fall asleep again!

My husband went on an assembly...

Yes. Mhm.

Yes, I would also rather be...
[Erika mumbles, the neighbor moans].

Oh, for God's sake... can we stay
stick to the subject for a moment?

You Degustra,
here no sow sees through!

You have here... She has
everything here handwritten, here...

I feel a bit dizzy.

Yes, ask me!
[The neighbor groans loudly.]

Jesus Christ,
moaning won't make it better!

No one can concentrate!
This one all the time!

How does it work now
exactly with the clearing key?

Yes... I have done that

when I ran for the works council
for the works council.

It is possible that I
made a mistake.

There I was
with the thoughts already somehow...

- I guess I didn't pay attention.
- So, yes...

Because I thought you would check
this again anyway.

So... someone has to
calculate completely new.

Yes, cheers.
Man, man, man.

I might as well lie down to it,
I get the crisis!

Oh, you are here too.

I am a little bit out of my mind.

I didn't realize that.

Yes, it will be alright, right?

Weeds do not fade.
As fast as...


[Stromberg] Ulf, old heating bulb!

Here at the Degustra
a lot of things went wrong,

now I have to start the whole thing
from zero again.

There I need people,
and there I count on you.

- Uh, key account?
- Yes, yes, that is...

Yeah, I have no idea about that, yo.
Europe, Asia...

Erika always did that,
May I?

Well, sure.

Tanja, old heater...
Here, Degustra.

So some things have gone wrong...
Do you know anything about it at all?

I thought I was responsible
for bed grenades and pipe cremators?

Nah, that, uh...

Mr. Lehnhoff!

Look here.

Really, how stupid can you
actually be?

Trixi, Britta and Ina will come
again tonight.

Is that shit again
that flows from the top to the bottom?


Oh well...
I think that's good.

People with humor, great.

Nah, that's a shi...
completely different story.

Yes, I still have no time for it.

[Stromberg] Solidarity is here.
naturally 'n foreign word.

Here sits at every
desk 'n Bonsaijudas.

There you can expect from 'nde Piranhas
more compassion than here.

[Stromberg] If you ever make a mistake
make, everyone is immediately ready.

my frying pan
into which he can bash you,

if it comes up.

Without meter thick fur you don't need
you don't need to come to the office in the morning.

Major customer, does a lot in Asian.
Could you...

I can't.

Mary and Joseph could
ring here personally

and say
"So, children, here. What's the situation,

ninth month, Messiah."
Uh, uh, ne?

Then people here would still say:
"Get lost and go back to your....



Here, Degustra. He does a lot in Asia,
is one of our biggest...

Forget it.

Major customer, does a lot in Asian,
does that ring a bell?

[The phone rings]

Capitol, Lambert my name,
what can I do for you?

Uh, Mrs..

- That's a pea!
- I guess that's right!

So, now you have to recognize us
also only by the taste.

Yes you are
maybe a few rascals!

Later I will catch
the Mr. Schlippmann...

- I would have to very briefly...
- This is Mr. Stromberg!

Ernie come with me for a moment, I have to...

That was really interesting, the
Schlippmann had the Leipzig monotony

now we were not sure
what is the white?

Is that potato, kohlrabi or

You, the whole degustra stuff has to be
be done again,

completely from the beginning, and there you come--


Sure, who else,
you are my best horse in the stable.

And here you are
indispensable, of course.


I'll put this on your table,
but I need it molto presto.

I'll say.

So fast or what?

You must know that,
that you have a damage volume

as with the Degustra cannot be sent out
send out!

You can't send that
not give any random clerk

who then takes care of it.

I did not, I do not!
That is clear...

Everything is running.

I also have to take a certain
complicity, because I just have a private

crisis... I was probably not
completely with the thing.

But Mr. Becker,
don't worry about it.

I mean a divorce
is a divorce.

- Ernie.
- Yeah, uh, palim palim.

Sabine told me, I don't have to
not do that with the Degustra.

At least not on the side
in such a way.

You have to release me for that.

You don't have to... Because of
because of best horse and so on.

You had already asked
everyone else before you asked me...

And on such
such an award is whistled for!

[Piano music and vacuum cleaner]

[Coffee machine bubbling]

Yes, that's a good
like four square meters.

Which then is completely all mine.

Ernie! Look who
I have brought for you.

Wow, what happened here?

- Yeah, I'm doing--
- Yeah, Ernie, great.

So, I got you the umbrella back here.
back again, so you two--

Nah!! I don't want to sit next to her!

- Ernie...
- I want to sit alone!

All others would lick
lick all ten fingers for it

here, next to our Mrs. Schirrmann...

Yes, when I lick,

when I say finger, I mean--

Yes no, it is clear.

[Ernie] The Sabine also said--

Oh Sabbel, leave me alone
with the bitch in peace!

So first of all, the name is Sabine, yes?

And Sabine and I, there can be
something emotionally!

Interpersonal. And I don't let
not trample on it.

Now shut the fuck up!

If the degustation shit is not finished
is not finished, I'm out of the window.

The Wehmeyer told me so himself,
then it's closing time.

That's why the... Dings
now your normal stuff

and you do the Degustrakacke.
And you do it with high pressure!

Damn it.

Come on, we can do it, we two,
it's worked out before.

Your suit looks really nice.
Looks really good.

Yeah, that's... Although I...

I am emotionally
already... to Sabine.

I can't go on two tracks.

As for women.

[Stromberg in passing.]

[Wehmeyer] Do you have this woman.
Schirrmann into the department?

Without consulting me?
Or at least with Mr. Becker?

You can't just
just hire people!

Yes, but Erika Burstedt,
she is missing.

- Yes, but only temporarily.
- I don't think so.

- She is in the hospital.
- Yes and?

Yes, I guess,
we will not see her again.

You know how it is.
When the doctors say they have nothing

and then you can already go
and choose a gravestone.

So, only the degustation number
would have been enough to kick you out.

Now this thing with
Mrs. Schirrmann.

That's it for you.

All your TV nonsense will not help you
all your TV nonsense won't help you anymore.

[Stromberg rings the bell with the bottles]

[And with the other bottles]

Ah, have you seen Sabine?

- Meal!
- Meal.

I am glad when I don't see
no women at all for a while.

Do you have stress with Tanja?

As a man you have to
Something with the women, otherwise....

We for example are here
loosely arranged to...

Oh my watch...
For dinner, the Sabine and I.

And there I have filled cream puffs
from the baker Hessbacher.

Because Sabine likes sweet things.

And there you can as a man with women--

Ernie. Ernie-->

I think
Sabine already has something sweet.

[A sob is brewing]

I must say, I am super happy,
that you called me.

- Milk?
- Yeah, I'd love to.

Because financially it looks
with me just...

So, my ex, he pays nothing.

And otherwise is also rather Mau.

Yes, we can open a club together.
open a club together.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

Because with me is just
altogether more than Mau.

More like Mau Mau.

[You laugh.]

[He slurps while drinking]

Yes, it's good to have you back.

I will also do my best
that you do not have to leave so quickly.

What does that mean now?

Yes, a stupid story,
because personnel requirements

something went wrong.

She can scrape her cream puff
from the windshield!

I also still buy with crocodile flakes
and then something like this!

Well, I don't need that!

Tell me Ernie,
where are you sneaking around?

She has clearly between the lines
between the lines something in prospect.

And then with Mr. Schlippmann
making out in such a sleazy way, ne!

- Can forget!
- What is now with the Degustra?


Without the clearing key
I can't do anything there.

- Holy shit!
- Yes, that is shit something.

The verre... uh.

I left it at the...

Well, that would not have been
not been necessary.

Would have been quite enough,
if Ernie and I...

We wanted Erika...
One more!

We wanted to visit Erika
visit Erika today anyway.

- Yes, so I don't.
- Ulf.

If Erika has the clearing key
here, I can look for a long time.

- Today is another one of those days, wo--.
- Ssssch!

Soo, Erik... Huh?

Where is she?

Maybe it has been misplaced.

Where is the Mrs. Burstedt?

[The woman mumbles.]

Yes, now again in German!


I only understand cevapcici.

[speaks English]
You speak English maybe?

- [mumbles.]
- She speaks good German, doesn't she?

But no English at all, she says.

With the heart,
yes exactly, the colleague we are looking for.

They have them again, uh....

The Erika is dead.

[Stromberg laughs in disbelief.]

[Bert's watch beeps]

I think it's bad
that Erika was all alone at the end.

That the man...

Hey, she didn't want
that he comes.

If you don't feel like
for Ina and the others...

That's nonsense,
of course they can come.

That was just because....

Just forget about it.

Once I should be in there,

i'd like you to be the last thing
what I see.

Say, cut the crap.

So first of all you don't eat
enough cake that you can...

And besides, you will kill me anyway
in the grave with the shit that...

I love you.

[Piano music.]

From that point of view it has also something good,
because Jennifer I get now under.

Whereby one must say of course
that Erika...

No question at all, that was a whole,

quite extraordinary...

But that's why
I also collected!

Personally, here in the whole house,
let's see.

And there is a big chunk
has come together.

And so we have called the Erika
also often called.

I was just kidding!

I always wanted to sit alone,
but not so...

But now she's sitting here again.

Ernie has even found the
Clearing key again.

He finished the whole
degustation shit.

- Nah, not quite yet...
- Not yet.

- But are you still doing it, yes?
- Yeah.

And with that the daddy is
here nicely off the hook.

Off the hook,
which here is called Becker.

Relative to Wehmeyer.

So I would say,
here everything goes cheerfully...

further... its... gear?

[Piano music]