Stromberg (2004–2012): Season 2, Episode 4 - Badminton - full transcript

[Stromberg whistles]

‎[Staff] Morning!

‎[Erika giggles]

‎[Stromberg] Morning Erika. What's up?

‎Oh come on, what's so funny?

‎Who put that out for them?

‎Or did you get dressed in the
‎Children's home?

‎Is the jacket new?

‎- No, I have--
‎- And the cap!

‎but forever. Is just private.

‎A bit more relaxed,
‎bit more casual private.

‎If you live to work, I can't
‎can't change that.

‎I am last night
‎still around the houses....

‎- [Ernie] Morning.
‎- Morning Ernie.

‎Were you also at Harkenradt yesterday?

‎Because of the sale.
‎My girlfriend and I were there too.

‎She bought me this shirt.

‎I'm just asking,
‎because the sign is still hanging in the back.

‎The price tag. Do you want me to take it off?

‎I have scissors here.

‎[Erika giggles.]

‎How is your dress now?
‎Not white, though?

‎Ah, great. And flared at the bottom, right?

Oh, such a wedding dress you buy
‎but only 2, 3 times in life.

‎I am already super excited.

‎[Stromberg] Oh Ulf, that was fast.
‎When is it so far?

‎Hey kids, those two
‎want to throw rings!

‎[Tanja] Wait, I'll go out for a moment.

‎This is not such a good topic right now.

‎Command back, they don't want to after all.
‎Why, they don't want to?

Ulf, you can always come to me with this issue.
‎come to me.

‎We'll just go for a beer.

‎[Stromberg] It's great, isn't it?

‎[Stromberg] I know me
‎;but with women.

‎I've got my old lady for good now....

‎When the arm is so itchy that scratching it ‎no longer helps
‎doesn't help anymore, then it has to come off!

‎And arm is still kindly expressed.

‎[Becker on mobile].
‎We can discuss that in the evening, too.

‎[Stromberg] Quite cheap here,
‎the woman whisperer.

‎- Uncle Detlev.
‎- Like Uncle Detlev?

‎Yes Becker! Ever seen
‎seen how he holds a pen?

‎He is so far away on the other shore, he cannot
‎not see us at all.

‎Here Tanja, ne...

‎Think about it again,
‎Ulf is a good man after all.

Don't marry him, that's not possible.

‎What? Why, what?

‎Good afternoon, everyone.

‎[Becker] I have many appointments, therefore
‎I'll get straight to the point.

‎[Becker] At our last meeting.
‎I mentioned that we had....

‎[Becker] improve the coordination of these
‎two areas should be improved.

‎[Becker] And I expect concrete
‎suggestions from this department.

‎[Becker] How does it look Mr. Stromberg?


‎Yes, so far I have not found
‎Nothing yet, but that's all....

‎That's running.

‎I suggest you let me know,
‎when the time comes.

‎[Stromberg] I can't stand these Heinies.
‎stand them, who live only for the job.

‎[Stromberg] Titanic was.
‎built by professionals.

‎[Stromberg] Noah's Ark
‎but by an amateur.

‎Do you see what I mean?

‎There is not only always everything job, job....

‎Looking outside the box
‎there are other things!


‎Uhhh... Women!

‎Watch TV at night until half past twelve.

‎But most of the bosses here...

‎Tie too long, mind too short.

‎[Erika] What is the name again
‎your girlfriend?

‎- Nina.
‎- Does she have a wedding dress now?

‎Yes, she still doesn't know.

‎I definitely meant
‎With a veil and a train.


‎If already then already!
‎Such a wedding--

‎[Ulf] Can you do five sentences
‎at a stretch....

‎without wedding, marrying... Can you do that?

‎[Tanja] Do you want me to miss the wedding of
‎my girlfriend's wedding?

‎I have also been thinking,
‎whether I Vanessa ...

‎whether we might marry...

‎Man Ernie! Our Ernie wants to get married.

‎[Erika does the wedding march].

‎[Ernie] Wait a minute I have the...

‎Wait a minute, the little chococrossie....

‎who was with you at the bowling?

‎Does she need a residence permit?

‎[Ernie] My girlfriend's name is Schubert,
‎Vanessa Schubert!

‎And she was born here and everything....

‎Just because the black, you may
‎not just make jokes like that.

‎Yeah, yeah, yeah....
‎Now lighten up Ernie.

‎I only mean well.

‎Do not throw yourself too soon
‎away to a woman.

‎And it doesn't matter if she's black, ‎or...
‎Or green, or....

‎You first have to fuck around a bit
‎screw around before you tie yourself down.

‎[Stromberg] That's right.

‎Are you actually single?

‎Last week I already made you
‎made a proposal...

‎for residential and
‎business customer consolidation.

‎Even in writing.
‎You could have done that earlier with Becker....

‎- you could have mentioned it...
‎- Mr. Heisterkamp, hello?

‎Shall we in between also still
‎breathe through the nose?

‎I have done that earlier
‎with Mr. Becker.

‎My goodness.

‎If that's the influence of your....

‎Roberta Blanca there,
‎But good night then....


‎[Canteen noise.]

‎Go ahead.

‎You too.

‎- Do you want to go ahead too?
‎- No. Thank you.

‎- Do you take the chicken breast?
‎- Nope, not really.

‎Would be...
‎Wouldn't suit you either.

‎I also do not take
‎the oxtail soup.

‎But then I should not take the asparagus
‎then I wouldn't be allowed to take the asparagus either.

‎The best thing about asparagus is the...?

‎Say, do you know where my Game Boy is?

‎I think at my place. You left your
‎bag at my place.

‎Oh, shit! There are all the DVDs
‎from Sven in it and stuff.

‎For that my sweater is with you.

‎[Ulf] I wanted to give him at noon
‎give everything back to him.

‎Well, if you have separate apartments....
‎I say that all the time.

Financially it doesn't make sense either,
‎to pay rent twice.

‎Can you suddenly hear nothing again?

‎Too bad, I was just about to say,
‎that I love you....

‎and that I would invite you to the cinema on Friday.
‎and that I would invite you to the cinema, but...

‎Oh, it's all right now. What was?

Cinema? For all I care a movie
‎where something explodes.

‎If I would find you now still sexually attractive
‎then it will be something with us.

‎You, let's, however....

‎In any case again
‎about the apartment....

‎- Promise?
‎- Yes, absolutely.

‎[Ulf] If Tanja is the last woman in my
‎life that I see naked...

‎[Ulf] Live - yes, which means something else.
‎marry yes not.

‎[Ulf] I'm not there yet.

‎[Ulf] Then come children,
‎then you need a bigger car...

‎[Ulf] Best yet.
‎'nen "Baby On Board" sticker.

‎I would then have the feeling....

‎I also do not know...

‎Ulf, he has now a station wagon or
‎a van, that's not possible.


‎[Stromberg] There I come
‎just in time. May I?

‎Or is it about women's issues?
‎Cakes, guys, tampons.

‎[Sabine] This is Mrs. Ebert,
‎Mrs. Magwardt and Mrs. Schubert.

‎I'm Bernd, Stromberg,
‎Claims adjuster.

‎We already know each other.
‎I always say Sabbel.

‎Is claims settlement
‎not the department of Mr. Becker?

‎No, Uncle Detlev.

‎Nominally. In principle I
‎still in charge.

‎I always say uncle Detlev, times
‎among us housewives, the colleague Becker

‎he can beautifully
‎iron with the flat hand.

‎No way, Becker is not gay.

‎Schwulinski, yes yes.

‎Too bad Daggi. She has a little eye
‎on Becker thrown.

‎Yes, but here are still
‎real guys in the house.

‎Yeah, real married guys.

‎[Stromberg] Nah, not anymore.

‎- [Sabberg] Has married something.
‎- [Sabine] I didn't know at all.

‎- Yes, I am single. Undressed.
‎- Aha.

‎Single again.
‎Looking for fresh meat.

‎Canteens are exactly
‎the right place for it.

‎[Sabine] Here I have still found
‎nothing found.

‎[Mrs. Ewers] Oh no?

‎But I had it before badminton.

‎- This is 'ne top singles exchange.
‎- Badminton?

‎Badminton, company sport.

‎Forever! In the Stresemannstraße
‎at the sports center.

‎There are all the people from the company.

‎Daggi, you can come too,
‎now that...

‎[Sabine] has settled with Becker
‎has been settled.

‎Not Mr. Becker, Uncle Detlev.

‎- I don't think so.
‎- Yes, it is a homo. A breech loader.

‎Front of the brown salon. One who has his
‎Ding-dong with other guys in the back....

‎They're people, after all, practically.

‎No question at all, is there?

‎[Coffee bubbling].

‎Mr. Heisterkamp has his proposals
‎for coordination....

‎of the private and
‎business customer divisions presented.

‎Why didn't I get these
‎get them from you?

‎I find... I find... uhh...

‎There's some reworking that needs to be done.

‎For example?

‎- Hm?
‎- What needs to be reworked there?

‎Hmm... quite a bit. Most of it.

‎- I find--
‎- [Ernie] Did you read it at all?

‎Ne, I skimmed it.

‎And I must say it is teeming with--.

‎-You skimmed over it?
‎-Yes. It's not all bad there.

‎That, I did say, though.

‎[Becker] I suggest,
‎You form a working group.

‎Yes well, but that is going on in principle.

‎I mean Mr. Heisterkamp,
‎Mr. Stromberg.

‎You form a working group, lead it
‎this and work out your proposals.

‎And you mean people--.

‎[Becker] I would say 2.
‎from the department,

‎2 from IT and someone from marketing.

‎And someone from HVK,
‎but there I have a suggestion.

‎That... Of course, and I then...

‎So during the work?

‎Well, maybe the one
‎or other overtime.

‎There's a couple of points in your paper,
‎if you'd like to take a look.

‎[Becker] Here for example....
‎we need statistics there.

‎[Ernie] I mean, if for years.
‎nothing at all...

‎[Ernie] And all of a sudden you find oil.
‎and have a sixer in the lottery.

‎That's not bad.

‎So, like now with me,
‎When I say....

‎the love and the job
‎all at once together....

‎[Ernie] When I was 8,
‎there was supposed to be 'a big party...

‎[Ernie] with negro kisses and everything...

‎[Ernie] and then no one came,
‎so no one at all...

‎and my mother also left at some point....

‎The next day I had an
‎one in physics....

‎and Gabi Krönke gave me
‎her lunch. That was also like that.

‎Inform me about everything
‎and good luck.

‎Thank you.

‎Mr. Stromberg, you still have
‎one more minute, don't you?

‎So, everyone very briefly....

‎[Ernie] Hello!

‎I have spoken with Mr. Becker
‎and soon it will be....

‎under my leadership
‎there will be a working group.

‎[Erika] - Mr. Wulf, that is nice.
‎- Erika, hello!

‎[Erika] Yes, I have looked at it.

‎Because of the private and business customers....

‎I have made suggestions
‎And Mr. Becker...

‎Hello! I need three
‎or two employees.

‎[Erika] Ne, I look different than
‎my voice sounds....

‎There have already some ge--

‎Tell me Ernie, is it still going on?

‎Menno, this is important now!

‎I make a working group and need
‎two or three employees!!!

‎Mr. Wulf, we have been
‎just interrupted.

‎- Man, darn...
‎- Yes... yes...

‎[imitates Erika drinking].

‎[Becker] One of her co-workers.
‎makes suggestions,

‎[Becker] good suggestions.
‎and you're just skimming over that....

‎Do you believe that.
‎is a motivation for your employees?

‎Well, first of all... Is that ernie...

‎we're talking about, and secondly--.

‎Mr. Stromberg, what are actually your
‎duties here?

‎Yes, for me the most important thing is
‎that I... that....

‎my employees also privately
‎can come to me....

‎ "You have much more life experience,
‎how about it?"

‎ "What do you advise me? Should I
‎buy the car, or not?"

‎ "Should I have an abortion or not?"

‎- I don't see it that way.
‎- Yes, I do.

‎It would be nice if in the future you see it
‎see it the way I do.

‎Yes... Then....

‎I guess two collide there....

‎philosophies on each other where the
‎History must show--

‎Do you actually understand
‎what this is all about?

‎You are this close to
‎Losing your job.

‎Mr. Stromberg, you must urgently
‎score some points.

‎I advise you to join
‎join the working group

‎and to concentrate on your job.

‎[Stromberg] That's how it works.
‎in the store here.

‎[Stromberg] If you have a little.
‎different from everybody.

‎[Stromberg] Loosen up a bit.
‎and rock-n-roll.

‎Then you're about to hear
‎the Mucksmäuschen yodeling.

‎[Stromberg] Man, man, man‎...

‎Me Ernie's working group afterwards....

‎Under Ernie's overall direction, then....

‎Would I have to have my ass so wide open that
‎I can drive in with a 7-ton truck.

‎- meal.
‎- meal.

‎Oh come...

‎[Sound of the printer].

‎Ernie asked me if I wanted to be in
‎his working group.

‎- The weirdos!
‎- I don't think that's so bad.

‎And Becker said he wants in the future more
‎distribute competencies to us.

‎Hmmm, that means unpaid overtime.

‎But that is better than always
‎Just the normal stuff here.

‎I would like to do that and
‎I still need things for the wedding,

‎maybe you can
‎shop for me? Please!

You want to meet up with Ernie after work?
‎meet with Ernie?

‎No, with the work group.

‎That's why you want me to do now
‎your wedding stuff....

‎Please tell me you're kidding me....

‎I made you a list here.

‎Decor Heinrichs? That's in the back
‎In the industrial park.

‎Sorry, I really have no desire to.

‎Besides, for what do you need
‎green styrofoam hearts, hello?

‎I think that's great....

‎[Ernie] I also have slides,
‎for illustration.

‎[Ernie] That would be something like that....

‎Ernie's pile, expert pile.

‎I told the Becker,
‎not for all money

‎and good words I make at
‎the nonsense with....

‎Ah Becker...

Uncle Detlev, comes in here and
‎throws the whole place over.

Why is Tanja with them?
‎- [Ulf] I would like to know that too.

‎Women, right?

‎They were good for something.
‎I can't think of it right now.

‎[Stromberg mutters.]

‎- A beer too?
‎- Pint of beer?

‎Yeah sure, for special occasions.
‎I have in the office.

‎Huh? Come on!

‎Verstehste, that is the most important.

‎Ass Like Wendi - as the Latin says.
‎Enjoy life.

‎Meanwhile, this place suits me.
‎I don't give a damn about anything.

Shall I?
‎- Such a freedom

‎like being single, I had
‎for ages.

‎And because of that, I can also ‎to the becker.
‎to the Becker say: Here uncle Detlev....

‎Here! Do you understand?

‎This is great. The Becker can threaten
‎as much as he wants. I just say: Here!

You're not such a file-eater either.
‎such a file-eater....

‎you also like to move
‎around the houses...

‎- I should go sometime.
‎- Oh...

‎We are just chatting so nice.
‎The things, for example,

‎What is actually with the?

‎- Hm?
‎- Tanja.

‎- What about her?
‎- Or the little one that you used to....

‎I always say Sabbel,
‎Sabine from the accounting department.

‎That's one of them.

‎How now?

‎Yes, they also know
‎where the sow itches the farmer.

‎She is quite nice....

‎a bit exhausting in the long run.

‎In the long run?
‎Nobody talks about duration at all.

‎Tanja has you
‎completely trained you.

I'll have another look at her,

The Sabbel.

‎I have to go now.

‎Ah, sure. Bye.

‎We can do it more often.

‎Chatting with each other like this.

‎I find it nice.

‎[Sound of the vacuum cleaner].

‎[Sabine] Oh, Mr. Stromberg.

‎Yes, it is quite nice here.

‎I didn't think,
‎That you would come.

‎How "you"? Sabbel we are
‎long ago at the "you".

‎There was alcohol involved and
‎You also lead after all....

‎Oh nonsense, lead,
‎I'm not such a boss after all.

‎That must have gotten around by now....
‎I am Bernd...

‎- How does it work here?
‎- That is quite simple.

‎Everyone looks for a partner,
‎You can also swap....

‎[Hans] Hey! I thought
‎you don't come today.

Hi! Are you crazy, we have something open.
‎still something open!

‎But hello!

Stromberg, I didn't recognize you at all in that outfit.
‎in that outfit. What are you doing here?

Watering flowers.

‎Yes, what should I do here?
‎I might as well play badminton.

‎- Yes, shall we?
‎- Yes, we will play then, ne?

‎[Stromberg] I find everywhere quickly.
‎connection finds...

‎[Stromberg] Because I'm very good with
‎people, even with women.

‎[Stromberg] Well, here too?

‎[Stromberg] With charm and such

‎[Stromberg] that's where I get them most of the time.
‎very quickly cracked.

‎[Stromberg] So "cracked" doesn't.
‎in that sense. Although I also...

‎Yes, notch-wood-wise,
‎earlier my dear....

‎But is another topic. Or?

‎[Hans] Yes, what?

‎- Hello?
‎- Hello.

‎- Shall we play together?
‎- No, come on.


‎Yes! 7:2 we have.

‎Wait until daddy is warm!

‎Exactly, we have not yet
‎not even started.

‎Oh, we are scared now.



‎Hey, that was just the serve change, what.
‎happening if we win the set?

‎Then I will make you a child.
‎It's obvious!

‎[Stromberg] The perfect flirt...

‎He's so subtle,

‎that the woman does not notice it.

‎[He plays guitar with his bat].

‎[Stromberg] Is like detergent advertising,
‎where the woman is unknowingly in the supermarket.

‎buys the stuff,

‎[Stromberg] what they were talking about days to ago.
‎saw the commercials.

‎[Stromberg] That's how I approach women.

‎[Stromberg] Like detergent advertising.

‎Only then just for me. Convenient.


‎- What a shit.
‎- [Alex] Hopefully nothing is broken.

[Sabine] No, I just twisted my ankle...
‎- [Stromberg] And we were lying so well.

Sabine] Yes, 14:3 for us, that should have been
‎could have been really close again.

‎You crutches we also beat with
‎a total of only 3 legs, right?

‎[Alex] Absolutely.

‎- [Alex] Do you want me to have a look?
‎- [Hans] I'll get some ice.

‎[Alex] I'll do it very carefully, too.

‎If you do it like this, then I can
‎show you my other places, too,

‎Where I have pain.

‎[Sabine] There you have to watch out Alex,
‎this is a wild one.

‎I think that's good.

‎You see, Sabbel, Alex finds that
‎namely good.

‎- [Alex] Sabbel, that fits.
‎- Yes, I always say Sabbel.

‎The main thing is that you have fun.

‎Yes, do not worry, we have....

‎[Sabine] Where are my ciggies?

‎[Stromberg] Give me also times
‎one for anesthesia.

‎[Sabine] Here.
‎He has loud so names for all.

‎[Sabine] What do you call Becker again?
‎Uncle Dieter?

‎Oh, Uncle Dieter. Uncle Detlev.

‎Hello, I am the uncle Detlev
‎from the claims department.

‎- What, Becker is gay?
‎- [Stromberg] No, no....

‎[Strombergh] Siegfried and Roy
‎have also simply

‎not yet found the right woman
‎for life.

‎[Hans] So, make yourself
‎this on it.

‎Yeah yeah, give it to me.

‎[Sabine] How do you get
‎actually get home?

‎[Sabine] I mean
‎I could, of course, take you--

‎Besides, I am Bernd,
‎I already told you earlier....

‎[Stromberg] Now pay attention here.

‎Like a young whippersnapper.

‎See, there you go!

‎[Stromberg runs somewhere against].

‎[Stromberg] Shit!
‎Can you guys just once more....

‎[Alex] I'm sorry about that. What does
‎then written warning?

‎[Stromberg] Total shit is that.

‎[Sabine] Another one like that, then that's
‎practically a dismissal.

[Stromberg] It's clear, if somebody asks
‎asks you have Stromberg already....

‎[Stromberg] Times this or that
‎about Becker say....

‎[Sabine] You told that around everywhere,
‎in the canteen, at the badminton...

‎[Stromberg] But here,
‎Erna Doof has confirmed it!

‎[Stromberg] Becker explicitly told me that.
‎ "Mrs. Clausen has confirmed it."

‎[Stromberg] If anything....

‎[Stromberg] When a stupid cow
‎picks up on that,

‎then I say - Nope, heard wrong.

‎[Stromberg] But if a second
‎even more stupid cow confirms that--

‎[Alex] I apologized for that,
‎that they caught me off guard--

‎[Stromberg] Psssst! We have
‎here a written warning!

‎[Stromberg] Do you understand?
‎Man, you are so stupid!

‎You don't have to be insulting,
‎even if I said it.

‎[Stromberg] Come stick!
‎We'd better do "Mr. Stromberg" again.

‎It wasn't that great yesterday either.

‎[Alex] Is really not to believe.

‎[Alex] Such a wanker!

‎[Tanja on phone] When I yesterday
‎was out, all the stores had already closed.

‎I have to go again.
‎Yeah sure, I'll let you know.

‎Ok, see you then. Bye.

‎Right or left?

‎Oh great,
‎were you still shopping for me?

‎But this is... Right.

‎Here is your sweater.
‎I was supposed to bring that.

‎What is going on now?

What? Hello?

‎- Thank you!
‎- Yes.


‎[Ernie on cell phone] Will you pick me up,
‎Carrot? I'll be done in an hour.

[Errnie on cell phone] Bye.

‎Ah yes, good. Quality check, very good.

‎I read that again
‎All the things you...

‎- There is already some good--
‎- We developed some more yesterday.

‎Listen, I was thinking,
‎I'll just go with it.

‎But we are already full.

‎Yes, you are already full.

‎Like the beach howitzers.

‎That's why I want to participate.
‎So I'm the boss here....

‎So his boss too, Ernie, good man.

‎I discussed with Becker,
‎that we do this on our own for now.

‎Bernie, old camuffle. You want me
‎but now not kicked out of here.

‎That is with Mr. Becker
‎so agreed.

‎Now don't pump yourself up here like that
‎into the tub.

‎Mr. Becker means,
‎that by the warning....

‎that this is also for the time being
‎has settled for you.

‎Yeah, then you do
‎your shit now....

‎- [Ulf] What?
‎- [Tanja] Nothing...

‎[Tanja] I have to go to the work group.

‎[Ulf] Now wait a minute.

‎[Ulf] Ok, I'll buy that shit,
‎if it's so important!

‎- Nah, it's ok.
‎- Nah, I'll buy it.

‎Nee, let.

‎Shall I then tonight
‎Come by your place tonight?

‎- [Tanja] Better not.
‎- [Ernie] Tanja, are you coming?

‎- [Tanja] Yes.
‎- [Ernie] Hey Ulf.

‎Working group. Tünnef to the power of seven, right?

‎Like in the zoo at the monkey house
‎and Ernie is the head monkey.

‎[Stromberg] Ne written warning.
‎is nothing at all.

‎[Stromberg] With a knife in his back.
‎I'm not going home for a long time.

‎That's the risk when you're the only one.
‎loose one among all the Nazis .


‎That you can maybe...