Stromberg (2004–2012): Season 1, Episode 8 - Der letzte Tag - full transcript

Employee annual review...

is also such a newfangled story

There should be... once a year bosses
and employees

in a questionnaire,

how they perceive the work situation and
each other...

And jokes like that... Well, yeah...

Tanja, let's go, shall we?

But this should be
be treated confidentially...

Yes, but they have
nothing to hide, right?

So, let's see
what they have written:

"How do you feel about the atmosphere
in the department?" for example.

There you wrote...

"very bad"?
Why "very bad"?

That's just how I feel about it....

I found it impossible with Erika...
That was just...

What? With the dismissal...yes, Tanja,
that came upstairs

and that... that... this...

Ey, this is so pathetic.

Popularity is overrated, after all.

As a boss
You can't be popular all the time.

Out of the question... At least not
While alive. Jesus for example,

Where everyone now says:

Yes, of course, that was one.
At that time with the common people

he was not popular. Therefore
he came to the cross.

In this respect I do not find
problematic at all,

if I am here temporarily
times the bogeyman here. Yes?

So, ladies and gentlemen.
Once again the tiresome topic


But there is now a
relatively concrete schedule.

The subdivisions will be merged with the
quarter after next,

this concerns you in particular,
Mr. Herfurth,

Mr. Röhler, Mr. Turculu
and you, Mr. Stromberg.

The applications for the overall management
run via an assessment center--

Oh my! With such role plays

and funny IQ tests
and then we do pot banging there.

Well, I'm looking forward to it...Hey, hey.... this are invited both
external candidates are invited

as well as you, Mr. Herfurth,
Mr. Röhler, and Mr. Turculu...

- The whole thing will take place on the 11th.
- But...

Mrs. Krämer will inform you
about all the details.

But... Wait a minute... why now the...

Why... I don't?
For example, I don't?

You know that yourself,
Mr. Stromberg.

Shall I read you the last entries
in your personnel file...?

I am not at all concerned with the
overall management.

I don't care about the overall
I don't give a damn about the overall management.

Overall leader! How that already sounds!
Like fallopian tubes.

I'm talking about something completely different.

Namely the way
the way this is going on, yes?

That nobody comes and says:

for the overall management you are unfortunately too

too relaxed, too...öh, yes?

Would you mind 'rowing back a tad'?
to row back", but nothing happens.

Nothing at all. That is of course...

Mr. Stromberg, uh, excuse me,
may I just briefly...

that you misunderstand the whole thing--

Uh, uh, Mr. Turculu,
I ask you...

I have said to Berkel
said from the beginning,

I do not want to do this.

I don't have to prove anything to myself anymore.

For my colleague Turculu,
I said, that would be for him:

- Congratulations!
- Thank you. All that matters to me is that--


Thank you! It is important to me,
that between us...

No, no, it's not an issue.

When I say
"The Turk has this, the Turk has that".

then this is not meant maliciously.
They are now times Turk

and I am for absolute openness
and pipapo.

Everything in the green!
Must go now.

- Hey, Erika!

So, come along.
Come on over, everybody!

Ernie, you too.
Come on, let's have a drink!

- Just a quick one.
- You're celebrating, buddy.

- Last day!
- Got something.

Oh, Ulf!

[All talk in confusion]

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

[in background]
Come on, Ulf... Oh, Ulf!

[Cork pops out of bottle]

Don't be long,
head in' neck!

One more to go, one more to go in.

One more to go,
one more goes in.

This is all kind of...
I don't know.

Of course I made mistakes!
In any case...

But, up there...yeah?
The, the, they all sit in quite, quite

glass houses, but then constantly throwing
throw such stones at me.

They should all take a good look at their
their own nose...

and there is quite a bit of nose there,
with quite a few, where I...

Well, somehow this makes
all makes no more sense.

I would also say that now you...
You have everything anyway...

that we break off here...
that we cut...

I don't want to do this anymore.
Turn it off.

Let's break off here at this point.

Oh... shit like that.

Now watch...
what happens to a woman,

- who confuses vaseline with putty?
- Vaseline with putty...?

The panes are falling
out of the windows!

That's a dirty joke!

- I'm blushing right now...
- Tell me, is there besides champagne

- any other warm drinks?
- I'll take some.

Ernie is telling all the time
dirty jokes all the time.

Look, the best one
I haven't told yet.

So you like dirty jokes, huh?

Yes, Tanja and I, we had fun here the whole time.
all the time.

What happens to the woman who mistakes
with putty?

Her windows fall out!

He already told me that joke!

Attention ladies' choice!

Oh Ernie, we can do that for a long time,

[Erika sings to the music.]

So... I'm going home.

Just in case somebody asks.


Don't let me make you...

So, and that one...

that was, that was clear,
I had hoped that this would stop.

It was clear. For God's sake,
there's an end now, with the...

I have probably not alone today
the last day, or?

Well, then, a little snack!
Take something for yourselves too.

It was all very nice...



Didn't you know that one?

So, running again?

Yeah, there's been... something happening here.

So, about the application for the
overall management and so.

The colleague Herfurth,
who was also invited, his wife,

she had an accident, with liver rupture
and spleen and the whole thing,

and the
is now not good at all,

now of course he has to take care
about them.

Of course, this is always...
always terrible... quite clear.

Yes, and now the proposal came
from the management,

That I should step in.

This is of course also
with the very good performance,

that I had at the board party.
Quite clear.

Yes, and now
I can think of legitimate...

Yes here, my gang...

...come with me... of course she doesn't know
nothing about it yet...

is a big surprise for everyone...
in this respect...

So, kids...

very briefly...

The following, it looks
as if I

probably nevertheless
take over the overall management.

And therefore

they are now again
here again.

Thanks! Yes well,
they are looking forward more inward now....

that's clear...

Yes, something has become free here now.
I am sitting here now...

and I find it super,

that the weirdo is not sitting
sitting opposite me all the time.

Oh come on, let's leave Ernie alone,
he's really not that bad...

If he sits opposite you all the time
sits opposite you,

he drives you crazy,

he could make coffee nervous
with his hectic pace.

And besides, here is now
a much better view.

You get compliments here
compliments all day long.

It's not bad, of course.

next to Ulf you always feel like this
as if one were insanely diligent,

is also not bad.

[Ulf] Why is that?

Yes, what should I say?

So all in all
everything is much better now.

I have my peace here,
I can do what I...

so I sit here all alone now...

and Ulf, who...who is sitting
now there...there in the back...

I had also thought about it, but...

[Loud clattering]

Tell me Ernie, you are crazy, aren't you?

If now everybody can
can sit where he wants...

Ernie, you really can't do that.

- Palim! Palim!
- Ernie...

Mr. Stromberg,
do you have a moment?

Yeah, sure, come on in.
Here, sit down.

I'm doing these IQ tests

In preparation for these...
Is quite interesting.

Watch this,
what doesn't fit in the line, yes?

Tree, house, bird, human, seahorse?

- Seahorse.
- House. Is clear. Now...

Continue the series 2; 5; 9; 14....

20. so.

Is a bit on time.

So, now "Branch behaves to branch
like branch to..."

Head office, I suppose.

- Do you have the answers lying there?
- Huh?

Under there... are those the answers?

Yes, but I'm not looking at it...
so, what is it?

I want the whole department
gets an official warning.

- Again?

All the time I am
here always by all...

Oh, Ernie, that's cold coffee.
Once a week

you come with me...
you have to get something new...

I am sitting here now
on the application.

Yes, because you said your door--.

So, a few words beforehand:

I think it is clear to all of you,

that this event serves to
the suitable candidates

for the overall management of the departments
to determine.

That is, everything you say
or do,

will be included in the overall
will be included.

[Stromberg whistles and claps.]

All right, let's start with this,
that everyone briefly introduces himself.


Yes, tomorrow, I am the Bernd,
so Stromberg, Bernd Stromberg,

and I am
Head of Claims M-Z,

my hobbies are reading
swimming, cycling

and I greet my aunt in Wuppertal.

Mr. Stromberg,
what are your hobbies?

Yes, well...
I am married and, uh...

do a lot on the balcony.

Mr Stromberg, why do you want to

to take over the overall
of the claims settlement?

Let's put it this way, a large department
needs a tight management, of course.

So someone who also sometimes...

Democracy is all well and good
for a state,

but in the office, of course, it is deadly.

And there you need as a boss
you need a guide...

leader... a leader
and that's me.

Yes, please.

Sinan Turculu,
Claims Manager A-L,

I see myself
as a leading part of a team

and I want to try to integrate this team
into the new structures of the house

- to integrate.
- Thank you.

Let's move right along.

I also wanted to say that...
With the team that... the whole thing.

Yes, Mr. Stromberg, you had
sufficient opportunity. Please.

Yes, go ahead and write that in!

Team. Yes? Stromberg
also wants to do this with the team here from the...

from the...

Something like decathlon.

If a discipline
does not work soo well,

it is no big deal.

Now it's time to keep up...

One must say also completely clearly,
only defeats bring you further.

Logically... because only in this way you learn...

from victories you learn nothing at all...

Excuse me,
Do you have a cigarette?

No, sorry

You don't learn anything from victories.
But from defeats you learn enormously.

So in the end

the so-called loser
is the actual winner.

Mr. Tröscher, do you have Tipp-Ex there?

Or a Ratze... an eraser
or an ink eraser...

[Pen scratching loudly on paper]

We will now move on to the people skills,

that is the skills,
to deal with employees.

That's my thing.

Mr. Stromberg, you play
the boss now and Mr. Turculu

You are a recalcitrant employee,

who does not agree with the decisions
with the decisions of the boss.

- Is he also a Turk in the role?
- Why?

- ...just because...
- If it helps you, I'd be happy to....

And that smug tone,

you can
also smear it in your hair.

- I just wanted to...
- I know exactly what you want.

You think you have this
everything already bagged,

because you rumble with everybody like that,

but not with me!
Not with me!!!

Well, thank you very much, Mr. Stromberg.

we continue
with two other candidates.

Mrs. Schefferhoff, if you
would like to come, and Mr. Röhler.

Mr. Röhler, you are
Department Manager in the manufacturing department,

and you, Mrs. Schefferhoff
are executive secretary...

Phew, first a little water, eh?...


There I am just quite...
is normally not my style...

here is actually always refrigerator
with built-in 3-star freezer...

No problem, Mr. Stromberg.

A certain emotionality
is positive.

This can be taken
as a sign of commitment.

Yes, right? Yes, I always say...

People who don't...
is also nothing...

I see it the same way.
There I see also one of my advantages.

- If you see it like that...
- But hello...

This is a good man... so he here...

Oh, Erika! Geez!

- What is it? Oh, my bread...
- Ernie...

- What's the matter with you? Say...
- What are you doing here?

I have an appointment with the lawyer...

The union says,
I should sue against the dismissal.

That's when I went upstairs to the works council.
Did you think I wanted to kill you?

Nah, it's just... everything...

So honestly,

that makes everything
fun at all anymore,

since you are gone.

Why, what's the matter?
Do you want us to go in?

You'll see, has changed a lot,
here in the store.

Oh yes, there has actually
changed a lot...

Say, Ernie...

During working hours
I have to...

Hello you two.

Fooling around has no place at work
at work! Period.

And I do not care
who and where and what... and how... Like this!

I mean, you don't bring
no pets with you to work,

or bother the colleagues
with his circle of friends.

I mean,
if we start like this here now,

then I also bring
female acquaintances with

and then let's see!

I would not have thought, from Tanja,
that she...

really not...

- Yes, it turned out that way.
- No, what does it mean?

Yes, opportunity makes love...
is practical...

- He had for a while...
- How, and you haven't?

Yes, we both had longer....

That runs with me
under humanization of the workplace

In any case: It looks better
than most of the files...

- What do you mean, most of the files? Are you crazy?
- Well, pff...

Of course we do not make
the decision not easy.

We take into account
besides the test results

also the evaluations
of the annual employee appraisals.

Mr. Turculu your results are
overall average.

Mr. Stromberg your evaluation sheets
have disappeared...


This... that doesn't exist at all.

- I have personally...
- I can't explain this either.

- My secretary has...
- Yes, I have them all.

At the secretary's...

and I told Gabi,
that is, your secretary, especially:

keep an eye on it.

Because... they were all positive,
so from the mood...

Well, I can perhaps
make up my own mind.

What do you think, Mr. Stromberg,
if I just briefly

talk to some of your staff?

- Hm...
- Remains confidential, of course.

However, I consider that...
that is not mandatory....

So, I think it is.

I can go to the
after the meeting

come briefly to your department...

Yes... but today ...
uh... today ...


...test situation
is a thing with me...

I'm alone two times
through the driving test alone.

...also at the doctor,
these stress tests, yes?

There my values are mostly worse
than those of some dead people.

Mr. Tröscher. One thing...
I'm going straight towards the 45...

and office years are like dog years

with 45 there I am just before ... old.

if this with the overall
does not work out for me here now...

let's not fool ourselves

that would be unthinkable.
Not even for my wife.

Mr. Stromberg, I understand
what you mean.

But I only give the recommendations,

the final decision
is made by the management.

But... um... anyway...

Yeah, so that's it, my department.

Uh, what's going on here?

Uh... that was just...
a very stupid bet...

- She has nothing to do with it.
- Yeah, that looked different to me, though.

I can fill out the KV7 form...
I can fill out blindly...

Yes, fine. But maybe not
during working hours, ne?

Yes, as you can see for yourself....
the mood here is very good.

There you can ask actually everyone
who has been here for a longer time.

And... um, Ernie,
what's going on now?

I want to be transferred
to another department. For good!

This is nonsense now...

I have told you
told you this a hundred times,

That I am being bullied here,

and I want to leave here now
from this shitty department!

So in the case of Ernie there can be no talk of mobbing
in the case of Ernie anyway...

The name is Bert, Berthold...
that's where it starts! My grandpa...

- he's in the war...
[Stromberg searches for words]

"Office spaz" Who was that?

I want to know this now...
So, it doesn't work like that at all!

Ernie, now slowly, I clarify this,
I promise you... and...

Erika, what are you doing here?

I am going to
my dismissal.

The lawyer said that your behavior was
was absolutely unlawful.

- "Scandalous," he even said.
- That's an exaggeration.

And by law you have
here in the department nothing at all...

So, uh... Mr. Tröscher,
shall we go to my office?

Please, after you.

The management and I

after evaluation of the tests
have come to the following result.

Mr. Turculu takes over the management
of the statewide training center.

And the overall management
of the claims settlement

we will
to an external candidate.

This means that we will advertise the position

But I would like to take this opportunity
to all of you

for your commitment.

If you wish for something very hard
then one is always disappointed.

I remember,
for my first Holy Communion,

I really wanted a bicycle,

and what did I get?
A brace!

That is why my relationship
to the dear God is not so good...

Well... everything is useless.

Life goes on.

I am not going to jump
out of the window.

Are we doing anything else?

Yes, but in my bed
there is no smoking.

I am curious how long
I can stand it with him. Bye!

Yes, well, I don't think
that I will be here much longer...

What I wanted to say,
if this once...

so if someone sees this...
so a woman...


So if someone,
who is unattached and not too big...

blond maybe, but doesn't have to be,
so, if someone wants to write to me

or also wants to get to know,
I do not want to exclude...

perhaps one can then
fade in something or so...