Stromberg (2004–2012): Season 1, Episode 7 - Die Beförderung - full transcript


Dancing in the morning. Recently played
at the party at the local club.

- Morning!
- Morning!

[Singing to radio]

Women bring
A whole different vibe to the office...

This is why I work
so much I like working with women.

Women have excellent qualities for this industry.
excellent qualities.

Like certain femininity...

Quite outstanding features!

[Singing to the radio]

- Mrs. Berkel, can I talk to you?
- Hold on.

Men work more purposefully.

As with hunter-gatherers.

Then the men in the team hunted down
the mammoth...

while the women were strolling in the forest
and picked raspberries.

You have to tell women sometimes,
where the raspberries hang.

Mr. Stromberg,
come back at 12...

- and please be on time!
- I don't know if I have time.

- Please?
- Nothing.

- Okay.
- What is it about anyway?

You are being given an important task
taken care of, from the very top.

- From the very top?
- Yes.


- Ah, Mr. Turculu. How is it?
- Good. Thank you. And yourself?

Very good, the work
should not become less...

As the head of the overall department.
But, my God!

I guess you don't know,
Tubercle told me...

- himself first told me.
- Really?

Yes, here counts evenly nevertheless
the best work performance!

Of course, what else?

Well, one knows
how it goes with you brothers in the south.

There is nevertheless rather
after the length of the tail...

Figuratively speaking,
who is richer, who knows someone.

I am glad
that things are different here!

That does not mean,
I have a shorter penis!

Here it is written everywhere,
restructuring, restructuring...

Ernie, they will soon cancel
the table dance course for employees.

- They're laying people off at A-L.
- At our place, too, I heard.

Ulf, you don't joke with such things!

I heard that too,
one is dismissed!

Bullshit, where did you hear that?

From Hans. He is
with the typist from the board.

That's right...

Hans always knows very well.

Did you also hear about the restructuring?

Yes, but hello, what?

Don't worry,
I'll throw a round of bubbly!

Sparkling wine spritzer, prosecco or something.

Kids, I'm just getting a promotion,
I'm not taking over the company...

So, not yet.

You read and hear yes...

a lot about unemployment,
But thinks it only affects the others.

They will not slaughter one of their best cows
slaughter, as long as the still gives milk.

They would be stupid, wouldn't they?

And stupid...

they are not.

Layoffs, that's not for me....

already purely nervous.

That's why for me it's called "klotzen",
to make a lot of money, so that they don't even...

I wouldn't know
how to teach my mother.

[Loud bang from burst bag.]

I've been asking you for weeks to tell me,
whose job you could cut.

- Not an easy decision.
- Management is putting pressure on.

Of course, I'll think about it,
I promise.

You wanted to tell me
something very important?

Right. I am to entrust you
with a new task.

I promise to fill it
with all my competence!

Good! The company party
is very important to the management!


You are hereby instructed...

to create a supporting program for the
for the company party of the management.

- Mr. Stromberg?
- Framework...?

Exactly. Come up with something!

The internal company party.
of the management is...

the top social event
of the year, one can say.

The organization of the social program...

they are wondering...

who is in this big...

huge company so trustworthy,
so competent, so...

Good thing he can do.
That's a kind of accolade.

Nanu, Mr. Stromberg ,
the champagne mood already gone?

Nope, there are still a few formalities to be cleared
out of the way...

this is only a question of time.

I talked to the management,
they do decide by tail length.

We are to appear tomorrow morning
with a ruler!

There, that...

Do you work with white tigers?

Rabbits? Are they white?

[Knocking on door]

Whether you will find many virgins
to saw up, I doubt.

Well, I will come back to you
to you! Yes, thank you!

- Mrs. Berkel.
- Were you thinking about dismissal?

Tomorrow morning at the latest
I will have your proposal on the table!

Of course. I have only two hands,
if I had four, I would be with the circus.

Speaking of the circus. How about
a ventriloquist? With a funny emu?

- You're not serious?
- Of course not!

- And magicians?
- We had them last year, terrible!

And a travesty show?
So ladies as gentlemen? I could...

- Can I talk to you for a minute?
- Tanja, just bad!

I am a little-- what is it?

I happened to hear from Claudia from A-L,
I am to be dismissed.

Claudia Stortz or who?

No, Claudia Krause.

Oh God, the blonde,
who always winks when she talks?

- Yes.
- Drives you crazy!

Is it true about my dismissal?

Tanja, don't worry about it!

I thought,
I was hired last and...

the last ones are then usually
dismissed first. Thank you!

Oh, there is of course something to it!

Cheer up, I have a say in this,
we will do it!


- Borrowed for a celebration.
- You celebrate a lot?

But... I have
never during working hours--

That's not the point,
but you are always partying, aren't you?

at the allotment garden club from time to time and...

my husband and I
are in the local association of the SPD.

What is coming in? Are there still
Program booklets, contact persons...

Addresses, tips, suggestions?
I'm organizing the board party.


I could initiate with Roland Kaiser
to initiate something...

- I've been in contact with him since the other day.
- I'll do it myself, do you have anything?

I'll give you the number of the manager...

Mr. Kitter.


Mr. Stromberg?
Kitter, we spoke on the phone?

- The emperor's adjutant!
- I do his management.

Then you always have to
the seven barrels of wine?

Let's sit down!

[Hums a Roland Kaiser song]

If I understood you correctly,
it is a closed event?

The celebration from the board, I thought,
Roland sings a potpourri of his hits?

Mr. Kaiser has a fixed program.
This is the track list.

♫Sometimes I already want to go with you♫....

The old knickers striker, eh?

Love Me Tender,
but this is not from Roland!

This is from Elvis.
Roland Kaiser has this in his repertoire.


Yes, it works!

Tanja talked to Stromberg, he says,
she doesn't have to worry...

was probably just a rumor after all
that it was her.

- Good for her.
- That comes from the heart!

Maybe they go by the alphabet?

Then it would look good for you, Ernie!

Oh, I see, your name is Bert...
That's bad, of course.

Never in life
they go by the alphabet.

They won't kick me out!

Look, the files
I have processed all since yesterday.

They would be stupid to kick me out!

[By the way, the files
I have been working on since yesterday.

I want to see your face
when this is exposed!

If you stand on the street, they say:
What do I do?

I can't do anything, I have nothing,
I have to pay rent!

I can't eat only rice!

This is the usual standard contract,
we always have at galas.


The fee is where?

Roman 3, item 2. page 35.


This must be a misunderstanding...
We need Mr. Kaiser one evening...

This is the usual evening fee.

I would have sworn
he is not so good in business anymore...

all right, but not like this.

- This is the usual evening fee
- Who pays that?

Now between us pastor's daughters,
Roland Kaiser?

That was easily fifteen years ago.

Is this how you always do business?

I thought,
you could be accommodating?

Free food and drink
Is included, for example.

A celebration of the board,
you don't let your hair down!

There is salmon--

You said on the phone,
don't worry about the financial side?

- Then I knew--
- Otherwise I wouldn't be here.

But I didn't know yet...
He earns as a pop singer...

more than with a real profession.

I am almost afraid that--

No problem. I know a solution!

You make your party
without Roland Kaiser.

I consider totally overrated,
these whole Schlager monkeys...

I say quite honestly!

Has nothing to do with art for me.
So like real music artwork...

like from Beethoven and...

What they are all called.

Good God, Ernie, what's wrong with you?

No problem, I'm fine!


- Ernie!
- Ernie, hello?

[Colleague] What are we going to do?

Water, first of all something to drink!
That's always good.

- Here!
- Open his shirt!

Leave it, not the shirt!

- I have to get the Hohmeyer file--
- You leave that alone!

You were always diligent!

- You don't have to prove it!
- Exactly!

Frank saw the performance records
from last year, you were way up there!

- Isn't that right, Frank?
- Yep.

And after that they certainly go
In the layoffs.

If it goes after that
Ulf should be lying here.

Why, where was I?

- Well, where?
- Last or second to last.

- Who is worse than you?
- Okay, that's enough!

[Tanja] Do you want me to help you?

[Tanja] It's alright.

I eat another glucose
and I'm going again!

I'm going again.

- Meal!
- Meal!

[Roland Kaiser music from the radio]

[Music continues]

You're working?
Did they put an Ulf double?

Tanja, I really have no time!

Mr. Stromberg, Nordhorn AG
is about to finish and I heard...

You want to hire Roland Kaiser?

Stop it! It's cruel!

I'm looking for something for the party.
I was equal against Roland Kaiser!

♫Dance samba with me! Dance Samba♫

♫All night!♫
Can't be true, can it?

He's totally humorless!

I have more entertainer qualities
in the little finger than in the...

Roland Kaiser here!

♫Seven barrels of wine can't make us...♫

You might as well perform yourself!

I could imagine that!

- Yes?
- Yes!

- Do you find me entertaining?
- Sure!

True. At my brother-in-law's wedding
of my brother-in-law, I spent the whole...

Good, Ulf! Very good!

But I think
we better leave that!

What do you mean here,
how opportunistic you have to be?

With such terms
I do not start anything.

Of course it would suck to be out,
I am not stupid

And in such a situation
the trousers are closer than the jacket.

♫Gypsy boy, gypsy boy♫.



I am just... up to my ears.

I would like to see you in an hour
maybe again...

♫I've never been to New York♫.

- Thank you.
- Can I go to...

Mrs. Berkel, meal!

What do you mean,
if I appear at the company party?

I am waiting for your decision
about the dismissal.

Otherwise the management will decide
over your head.

I worry about that in parallel.

Back to my idea, at the wedding
I cleaned up at my brother-in-law's wedding.

Also musically, so karaoke-like,
the full program.

♫Jing, Jing, Jinghis Khan.
Hey rider, ho rider♫

♫All the people are laughing, hohohoho!
Louder and louder laughter♫

The whole thing is your responsibility.
If you think it is good, please!

If everyone would loosen up a bit...

then much would be gained,
but I'm the only one for miles.

All just concrete and closing time.

A little more fun
and flexibility and momentum!

Breathing through the pants so loosely.

♫I've never been to Hawaii♫.

♫Never been through San Francisco...♫

berkel just dropped this off!

They are supposed to sign,
They would know.

I don't know.
♫The Puppeteer of Mexico♫.

Bureaucratic crap always comes from that one,
Cost statement, personnel request.

Who should pull the
Pull the stick out of his ass.

I would like to...

at the karaoke.

♫The tubercle that dances on the table,
until the table collapses! Hey!♫

- Closed?
- Yes, closed!

♫The little pub in our street...♫

Ulf to Stromberg: "Yes you know....

go ahead, you're funny!"
Mr. Stromberg here, Mr. Stromberg there.

- Total nonsense, that's not how it was!
- That's how it was!

Sorry, you weren't there?

- Yes, but I think Tanja.
- I swear, that's how it was!

Morning, Erika!

What's up?

- I am fired.
- Again?

- Really?
- I'm sorry!

I don't understand this either.
What am I supposed to do now?

I can't find anything now!

♫A little fun is necessary!♫

- Erika is fired!
- What?

Wait a minute, this can't be....

There I will personally...

- It's not that simple!
- I don't understand it! One call...

You yourself signed
the dismissal!

Nope! Not that I know of!

Oh God!
The folder yesterday from you!

- Do you sign without reading?
- No, of course not!

I did not think dismissal
in the sense of kicking out! And if...

that can be still reconsidered!

Not another breast cancer story!

Mrs. Berkel,
that was a misunderstanding!

- I am just of the opinion--
- I appreciate that...

You put yourself in front of your employees,
but you didn't make a decision.

Then the management acted
and you signed!

Then I signed, then
the management. Excuse me!


I have tried everything,
unfortunately my hands--

You blew it!

Screwed up.... this is just
a very difficult factual situation, just.

thank you, Erika!

I want, of course, I mean,
all these years, I'm going to...

personally for it,
that the social plan takes effect...

and you at least
first financially--

You blew it! And afraid,
to admit it to the management!

Look on the bright side!

You have much more time
for your hobbies!

For partying,
and whatever else you do!

Some people would be happy in your place!

♫I'm so great, I'm so nice,
I am the Bernd from...♫

♫I am the Bernd from M-Z!♫

- ♫there are a hundred thousand♫...
- Mr. Stromberg?

- Ready?
- Yes!

Then I go in now
and announce you.

- Let's do it!
- Good!

[Ms. Berkel] Ladies and gentlemen!
The musical part today...

will be performed by one of our
Department Head, Bernd Stromberg...

Claims settlement M-Z. Please!


Good evening!

[Stromberg] Hossa, hossa, hossa!

♫I want ten naked hairdressers♫

♫Ten naked hairdressers♫

♫Ten naked hairdressers♫

♫With really wet hair!♫

♫I want ten naked hairdressers♫