Strays (2021–…): Season 2, Episode 1 - Episode #2.1 - full transcript
Great!
And the mango passion fruit
is gluten free, right?
And the cookies & cream
doesn't have nuts?
Lotta different
cupcake eaters at our shop.
Oh, and the red velvet is...
Yup, yup.
Okay, good see you soon.
(Music playing loudly)
(Knocking)
Excuse me.
You can't park here.
This lot is for staff
and shelter clients only.
What? Barry?
He was so wasted
by the end of the game
he was doing shots
of soy sauce.
(Knocking) I know you can hear
me. I've left you several notes,
and printed a map
to a municipal lot.
I have another one,
if you need it.
(Sighing)
One second.
(Sighing) Sorry, what
seems to be the problem?
You can't park here.
I work here.
No, you don't.
I work in this truck.
Well, we need
the spots.
Yesterday you blocked a minivan
belonging to a family with
a daughter Julianna
who's always hated cats.
That is, until she found
a genius ex-feral siamese-mix
and named her Doja.
Her real name was Twinkles
but I wasn't gonna argue.
Okay, can you please move
your office to another location,
or you know what? You'll have
to deal with this guy.
Is that a 2018?
You got the long bed
and the crew cab.
Tell me you got
the sport package.
I did.
Ah!
This truck.
Incredible. Incredible.
Well, you are really lucky
that he was in a good mood.
[♪]
♪ Like, yuh,
we so amazing ♪
♪ Yeah, we do it
like that ♪
Aw. His name's Checkers,
and he's adorable.
(Meowing)
Great work, Yazmin.
I mean, these aren't for sale,
but I love the initiative.
Nickelback, who did we have to
kill to get the best job ever?
You sat in cat turd yesterday.
But then I got to wear my
sweatpants at work.
Do we both need to be here?
Oh, I need you to
go pick up cupcakes.
I have a meeting with Liam
and a new board member.
Why? Are you getting fired?
No.
Someone else getting fired?
Absolutely not.
Then why'd you order cupcakes?
Huh, I don't know,
why did I order them?
Memory loss is
a sign of dementia.
I thought it would be nice
to do something for the staff
and the volunteers,
and it also happens
to be a one-year anniversary.
Anniversary for who?
For Nikki!
Wow, a year already?
That's depressing.
Yup, she was my first hire
when I first started
right before that, so,
hm, I guess that means...
Yeah, yeah, we get it.
Congrats, boss.
Nobody had you lasting
that long in the pool.
What pool?
The pool... of life.
Okay, so can you
pick up the cupcakes?
Can you give me
the keys to your car?
Fine.
You know, I've been here
five years this month.
Maybe pick up a cake as well.
Eeh!
(Barking, meowing)
Liam:
Two local shelters just closed.
And that's why we've
taken in so many new dogs
in the last few days,
and this is Kristian.
Oh! Hi, Kristian!
Our acting manager
of animal care.
Oh! Hi.
And these are
our older rescues.
They would've wound up
in a kill shelter,
but we took them in.
Who says you can't
teach old dogs new tricks?
Ringo, sit...
And shake a cast.
Wrong paw.
He's still working on it.
Aw, cute.
Shannon: Tonya's our
newest board member.
She used to be a banker,
but now she's banking on us.
After I had my son,
I knew I had to give back.
And she couldn't
say no to an old pal.
We were classmates
in university.
Really, cause
you look ol...
Don't say it.
Well, welcome aboard.
I had no idea that you two
went to school together.
We dated.
What?
Briefly.
Tonya helped me...
Figure some things out
shall we say.
And then you broke up
with me.
And now he's single again.
Surprise, surprise.
I mean, I was surprised.
I thought you and Hugh
were the real deal.
Oh, please.
Our Liam, dating a hygienist?
Not good enough.
Can we not talk
about this now, please?
Also I would love to hear
your thoughts on fund raising.
We're trying to go
after bigger donors.
Oh, then she needs to
meet Evelyn cabrera.
You're still
in touch with her?
She's terrifying.
Liam, she can hear you!
I'm kidding, I knew he was
talking about Evelyn... cabrera.
We worked capital
markets together.
So smart, loves dogs,
has more money than god.
I will set up
a meeting Thursday.
Ooh, I'm at a shelter
association conference.
Wednesday?
I have a meeting with the
montessori school
in our district.
Isn't your kid
like only 6 months?
I know, we should have
been on this a year ago.
But I'll move it,
and if this costs my son
his spot you're dead.
Cheers all.
Bye.
Come on.
[♪]
Ooh, how was the vacay?!
Tell me everything.
It was a six day
walking tour of an twerp.
Okay, maybe not everything.
We did the diamond district,
the vlaamse opera.
You haven't heard opera until
you've heard it in flemish.
You would have loved it,
Kristian.
Sorry, were you
saying something?
Rude. Lara just
came back from...
It was a tour of Belgium
for lifelong learners.
Of course.
They cater to travelers
with an IQ of 150 or higher,
so it's pretty fun.
Oh, uh, I didn't even
know you were away.
Don't mind him.
We all missed you!
Well, back to the grind.
Or as they say in an twerp,
terug naar de sleur.
Ow!
That was mean.
You showed zero interest.
I was reading.
Yeah, 'cause today's dog
is so fascinating.
Meanwhile, I'm left trying
to figure out
where the heck
an twerp is.
Sorry.
You know, I used to
think you liked her.
(Chuckling)
But I guess
you moved on.
Yeah.
But can I tell you
a secret?
I haven't moved on
at all!
Oh, my gosh.
You played it so cool.
I know, my mom gave me some
advice which really grounded me.
"Every relationship
starts with a moment."
I thought you said
your mom gave you the advice.
Yeah, her voice gets deeper
when she's squatting.
The point is, I just have
to wait for my moment.
Like in the movies.
Their eyes meet,
and bam!
Things changed.
It's their moment!
Though, I've never
had one.
Oh, really?
I have them all the time.
Well, I can feel
my moment coming,
but until then,
it's krissy kool-pants.
I love it.
So exciting!
I know!
(Clearing throat)
Oh, there's
our fave volunteer.
Don't tell the others
I said that.
Oh, they know.
They're jealous.
You okay with
that, Doris?
And how is Ringo doing?
Getting in the way
as usual.
Doris:
Look at that sweet face.
Shannon: And he gets
his cast off tomorrow.
Doris: Well, I can't
miss the big leg reveal!
Oh!
It's the latest.
(Gasping)
Another mascarpone murder?
It's a series.
We're obsessed.
Chef Morris
has a new assistant.
Kinda reminds me of you.
She's quirky
and funny and pretty.
Aw!
The scene before she dies.
Oh, my god.
Spoiler alert!
Oh, don't worry, she's still
got all the sex stuff
to look forward to.
So, is it a romance,
a crime series, or a cookbook?
Calls itself
an erotic pot-boiler.
Well, then I will be
sure to read it alone.
[♪]
Creepy. Ever since
we talked about body pillows
I've been getting all
these ads for them.
Our devices are listening.
Also probably because I used
your laptop to buy one.
(New song starting
on the radio)
Oh yes, turn it up!
Wait, so does that mean
you also used my credit card?
Um, what's going on?
Uh-oh, fun police.
'Cause if we're dancin',
I can't hear it.
Crank it, k-man.
Kristian:
On it.
Okay!
Go, Kobe! Go, Kobe!
Oh wow, dance party!
I love it.
Come on, Lara,
let's do this.
I don't really
know the song.
Kristian!
Show us what you got!
Thanks, but I don't...
Come on, Kristian!
Okay.
Joy:
Ooh! Woo! Get it, k-man.
Check out the moves!
Paulie, get in here.
Okay.
Sure.
Hold on.
Nikki:
Wow, Paulie!
Was ballroom your
extra-curricular behind bars?
Actually, you know,
me and my ex used to cut a rug,
but yes.
Paul, going old school.
I love ballroom.
We got tickets to the dance
sport finals in an twerp.
So good.
Oh, maybe you should
switch partners.
Uh, but Kristian's kind of
in the middle of something.
How can I refuse?
Okay!
Easily.
[♪]
Wow.
Paul is amazing.
This sucks!
(Laughing)
Boom.
(Laughing)
(Applauding)
Woo-wee. Phew.
[♪]
(Whirring)
Paul:
Almost. And...
Buona salute!
(Cheering)
There you go,
little guy.
Aw, nice gams, buddy.
Thanks, buddy.
I bought them in Bruges.
They're made of
recycled fishing nets.
Paul:
Cool.
I was talking
about Ringo's leg.
Right.
(Phone vibrating)
Oh!
One sec, it's Doris.
Deputy detective sue-sheff
at your service!
Ringo just got his cast off,
where are you?
DORIS:
ON THE STAIRS.
Sorry, what?
I fell.
I was trying to change
the battery in
the smoke detector.
Oh, my god.
Are you okay?
I just...
(Gasping)
Jesus.
Okay, okay.
Don't move.
I don't think I can.
Okay, I'll be right there.
Ooh, cheese.
Can I have some?
Mm, sorry. These are mine.
Wow, you hungry?
Starving.
You okay?
Alright,
this isn't about cheese.
It's about the dancing!
He was really
impressing Lara,
and then you waltzed over
and stole his moment!
What do you mean,
moment?
You know,
when they see each other
and their hearts burst open
to embrace the other's soul!
Yeah, or we go for
bubble tea or something.
I don't think
that was your moment.
Believe me, I know.
I had someone special.
When our eyes met,
we had a moment,
then my wife found out
and bam!
That was
the worst moment.
So, you know,
don't try to force it.
Hey, look!
There's more cheese!
(Sirens beeping)
Hi, Travis, it's me again
calling about your mom.
We're still in emerge
and it looks like Doris
might need an X-ray.
All cause of him.
If he'd just fix
the goddamn smoke alarm
like he said he would...
Anyway, call me back,
if you can.
Like that's gonna happen.
Look, Doris, if you ever
need anything you can call me.
I could use
a rye and ginger.
Oh, finally!
A doctor.
Nurse.
Oh, right. Sexist.
Always learning.
My friend's not up
on the times.
Oh, only family
back here.
Oh, I'm her daughter.
And my best friend.
(Groaning)
Oh, here.
Let me help you.
Oh, you're a good daughter.
I should put you in my will.
At least I'd know my money'd
be going to a good cause.
Oh, if I'd known
you'd be doing that,
I'd have driven
here slower!
Okay, we'll need some x-rays,
assuming you're not pregnant.
No, but let's see
how the day goes.
Mom loves a hot doctor...
Nurse. Sorry.
Oh, can you check to see if
I put my health card back?
You bet, mom.
I get it.
(Phone vibrating)
Crap!
Hey.
Hi, Shannon. We're all just
admiring your power move.
Is parking okay?
No, no. Parking is fine,
it's just...
I'm just going to pop you on
speaker with Evelyn and darnay.
Both:
Hi, Shannon.
Can I start you a latte?
Oh, sure,
it's just
I'm at the hospital.
Both: Oh, no!
Tonya: Are you alright?
I'm fine. Doris fell.
- Who?
- A volunteer.
Liability nightmare.
Well, it happened at home.
We're just waiting
to see a doctor.
Her son's not answering
and her smoke alarm's broken.
Huh, 'cause I had
three sitters
fall through,
and you know what I did?
She brought her baby.
(Baby cooing)
I problem solved.
Maybe we can do
this on the phone?
Tonya tells me
you two go way back.
I'm sorry,
I can't hear you.
Maybe we should
do this next month.
Impossible, and why did
she say yes to the latte?
We're so sorry about this.
Next time,
coffee is on me.
Evelyn and I need
to catch up anyway.
Then we should have
made these martinis.
I want to hear all
about your leonbergers.
Aw, they're asleep
in darnay's office.
It's a cubicle.
Shannon:
Oh, I love leonbergers.
Is she still on?
Call you later.
Uh, can I help you?
This is a private room.
Yes, my mother's.
Oh, my god.
You're...
Travis.
Her son.
Why are you rifling
through my mother's wallet?
She asked me to find
her health card, and here it is,
oh, and her organ donor card.
Good for her.
Though I hope we don't, uh,
need it.
I had no idea you
were her son.
I had no idea it was
any of your business.
It's just,
Doris has never mentioned you.
Yeah, well, uh, she's not
my biggest fan right now.
Well, you weren't
exactly first on the scene.
Oh! Well, you see, I really
wanted to be here sooner,
but somebody had
my truck towed.
You threw my map
on the ground.
So, you had
my truck towed?!
Look, I really think
we should be focusing
on your mom right now.
Yes, I can see that
you're doing that,
with her cash and credit cards.
I'll take that, thank you.
I just wanted to
make sure Doris was okay.
Yeah, well,
she's not, okay?
I mean, hypertension,
cholesterol, cold hands.
She shouldn't even be
living in that house.
Says the guy who
lives in his truck.
I don't live in my truck.
I work in my truck,
and sometimes I nap
in my truck.
You know what?
You don't know anything.
I know she's your mother,
and she deserves respect.
Yes, okay, thank you,
and with respect,
why don't you go
help some puppies
or, oh, I don't know,
get an ambulance towed.
Jesus.
Look what the cat dragged in.
Hi, mom.
Are you okay?
Sir, only one family member
at a time back here.
Family. Wait.
Why is she back here?
Oh, leave her alone.
She was just trying to help.
I'll let you catch up
with your son.
You don't have
much time left.
Excuse me?
Because he's probably
illegally parked.
I appreciate
what you're doing,
but I don't think
it's going to work.
Are you kidding?
Step up, centre stage,
step up 2: The streets.
Good dancing
turns people into heroes.
Soon Paul will be
dancing in your shadow!
Just one thing.
Promise not to
fall in love with me.
Joy, I'm really not...
When people
start dancing,
hearts start prancing.
Fine, I promise,
but you have to do the same.
(Laughing)
Okay.
But, yes, I promise.
(Speaking in Australian accent)
Then a bit of musicality, please!
That's from
strictly ballroom.
Sounds old.
Stay focused.
Okay, so, according to this,
we start with a side step.
Slow, slow,
quick-quick-slow.
No, no.
Less slither, more hip.
Switch your weight
on your feet.
Here. Ready?
Slow, slow,
quick-quick-slow.
This is wrong, isn't it?
Paul:
Completely wrong.
It's less like
marching in place
and more like
you really gotta pee.
May I?
Okay, but you have to
promise Kristian something.
Yeah?
I think we're good.
Here we go.
And one, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
That's good.
[♪]
Shannon:
Knock-knock.
No, I haven't
had a poo yet.
It's me.
People here are
obsessed with my bowels.
Well, these won't help that,
but they're for you.
Signed by everyone at
the shelter.
Lots of woofs
and meows.
Aw, you're sweet.
I also have
something else for you,
or, should I say,
someone else.
Come here, Ringo.
Oh, Ringo!
Oh, look at you.
Jumping up on that leg.
You're putting me to shame.
We were hoping
you'd be home by now.
How are you feeling?
I stood up today,
I mean, that's something.
Don't mean to break up
the party, but no pets allowed.
Aw, come on franny, how could
you kick out a cutie like this?
He's a rescue from Mexico.
Only exceptions
are therapy dogs.
Also, he's a therapy dog.
At least he's got
you sitting up.
Maybe we could
go for a walk later.
Good luck.
My own nurse
betting against me.
Maybe we'll see
the bathroom later.
Ooh.
Potty party, woo-woo!
(Chuckling)
It's too much. I know.
[♪]
Okay?
You ready?
Oh, yeah.
Oh man, love this song.
There it is.
Hey, anyone else feeling this?
Yeah!
Turn it up, Paul.
Sorry, I'm on a call
with the leash guys.
Tell them
it's party time!
Yeah, so we'll get three doubles
and a martingale.
Uh-oh, is this
another dance par-tay?
I'm gonna
have to call you back.
The bozos at work
are goin' nuts again.
Uh, we need
better tunes.
No!
Don't touch it, Nikki!
(Scoffing)
That works too.
Hey, looking good,
k-cup.
Maybe we should wait.
We should wait.
We can't party
until everyone's here.
Is everyone here?!
Okay, is this
a shelter or a rave?
May I?
Of course.
Yes!
[♪]
Whoa, babe!
Ravi, we were just...
Dancing, no,
I love it.
Such free spirits.
Though, I can't get you
on the dance floor much.
Wow, that's, uh,
very close dancing.
That's not
a sanctioned move.
It'll come, kid.
Well then...
Shall we?
Thought you'd never ask.
Oh my gosh, I promised
I wouldn't fall in love.
What?
[♪]
Nice moves.
I was just...
I don't know.
Uh, I'm pretty busy.
Clearly.
I'll make this quick.
What's that?
First my mother's purse,
now her savings.
What are you
talking about?
You brainwashed my mother into
writing you a big fat cheque.
Says she wants the shelter
in her will now.
Oh my gosh,
I thought she was joking.
I obviously want
what's best for Doris.
Right, just like
the one-handed sommelier
wanted what's best for
deputy detective sheff.
I'M SORRY, DID YOU READ
ONE OF THE MASCARPONE MURDERS?
I was at the hospital
for seven hours.
And do you want a medal.
Ringo put in
more time than that.
Look, whatever.
The book's trash.
It was morag,
the cousin, who did it.
Why would you...
I knew you didn't
finish it!
(Groaning)
(Paul laughing)
Cha-cha-cha!
Is Ringo ready?
He was born ready.
I mean,
other than the heart defect,
but he's got this.
Ross, I have a date
and happy hour ends at 7:00.
I'm not paying full price
for some guy named Greg.
Okay, Kristian?
Ta-da!
Gran-paws!
Did you two
rehearse this?
It's an outreach program.
We take our older dogs to visit
seniors in homes and hospitals.
When I took Ringo
to visit Doris,
the patients couldn't
get enough of him.
One woman
remembered who she was
for the first time
in six months.
She was wrong,
but the joy, very real.
Plus, it would be great for our
older buddies to get out more,
since they rarely
get adopted.
Aw.
Oh, my god,
was that me?
You love it!
Well, certainly better
than that email I got
from Travis Reed.
Truck guy?
He's an idiot.
Says you conned his mother
out of her life savings,
and then towed him.
I towed him first.
Well, he cc'd the board.
Add that to your missed meeting
with Tonya and not a great look.
Doris needed me.
That's our job, isn't it?
Helping this community?
Otherwise,
why are we doing this?
Because it's unsanitary to have
strays roaming the streets,
and who else is
going to store them?
And... that thing
you said about helping
and sad people and...
Aw.
Aw!
We're all saying it.
Okay, my date's waiting.
Aw!
No, I've seen the guy.
He is definitely not "aw".
♪ Let's shake it up ♪
♪ It's kinda scary
but I'm lovin' the rush ♪
♪ My heart is racin'
like oh-oh-oh ♪
♪ 'cause this feels like home ♪
♪ Yeah, it's true ♪
♪ Look in the mirror
and I'm feelin' so good ♪
♪ Yeah, I've been searchin'
like oh-oh-oh ♪
♪ And this feels like home ♪
And the mango passion fruit
is gluten free, right?
And the cookies & cream
doesn't have nuts?
Lotta different
cupcake eaters at our shop.
Oh, and the red velvet is...
Yup, yup.
Okay, good see you soon.
(Music playing loudly)
(Knocking)
Excuse me.
You can't park here.
This lot is for staff
and shelter clients only.
What? Barry?
He was so wasted
by the end of the game
he was doing shots
of soy sauce.
(Knocking) I know you can hear
me. I've left you several notes,
and printed a map
to a municipal lot.
I have another one,
if you need it.
(Sighing)
One second.
(Sighing) Sorry, what
seems to be the problem?
You can't park here.
I work here.
No, you don't.
I work in this truck.
Well, we need
the spots.
Yesterday you blocked a minivan
belonging to a family with
a daughter Julianna
who's always hated cats.
That is, until she found
a genius ex-feral siamese-mix
and named her Doja.
Her real name was Twinkles
but I wasn't gonna argue.
Okay, can you please move
your office to another location,
or you know what? You'll have
to deal with this guy.
Is that a 2018?
You got the long bed
and the crew cab.
Tell me you got
the sport package.
I did.
Ah!
This truck.
Incredible. Incredible.
Well, you are really lucky
that he was in a good mood.
[♪]
♪ Like, yuh,
we so amazing ♪
♪ Yeah, we do it
like that ♪
Aw. His name's Checkers,
and he's adorable.
(Meowing)
Great work, Yazmin.
I mean, these aren't for sale,
but I love the initiative.
Nickelback, who did we have to
kill to get the best job ever?
You sat in cat turd yesterday.
But then I got to wear my
sweatpants at work.
Do we both need to be here?
Oh, I need you to
go pick up cupcakes.
I have a meeting with Liam
and a new board member.
Why? Are you getting fired?
No.
Someone else getting fired?
Absolutely not.
Then why'd you order cupcakes?
Huh, I don't know,
why did I order them?
Memory loss is
a sign of dementia.
I thought it would be nice
to do something for the staff
and the volunteers,
and it also happens
to be a one-year anniversary.
Anniversary for who?
For Nikki!
Wow, a year already?
That's depressing.
Yup, she was my first hire
when I first started
right before that, so,
hm, I guess that means...
Yeah, yeah, we get it.
Congrats, boss.
Nobody had you lasting
that long in the pool.
What pool?
The pool... of life.
Okay, so can you
pick up the cupcakes?
Can you give me
the keys to your car?
Fine.
You know, I've been here
five years this month.
Maybe pick up a cake as well.
Eeh!
(Barking, meowing)
Liam:
Two local shelters just closed.
And that's why we've
taken in so many new dogs
in the last few days,
and this is Kristian.
Oh! Hi, Kristian!
Our acting manager
of animal care.
Oh! Hi.
And these are
our older rescues.
They would've wound up
in a kill shelter,
but we took them in.
Who says you can't
teach old dogs new tricks?
Ringo, sit...
And shake a cast.
Wrong paw.
He's still working on it.
Aw, cute.
Shannon: Tonya's our
newest board member.
She used to be a banker,
but now she's banking on us.
After I had my son,
I knew I had to give back.
And she couldn't
say no to an old pal.
We were classmates
in university.
Really, cause
you look ol...
Don't say it.
Well, welcome aboard.
I had no idea that you two
went to school together.
We dated.
What?
Briefly.
Tonya helped me...
Figure some things out
shall we say.
And then you broke up
with me.
And now he's single again.
Surprise, surprise.
I mean, I was surprised.
I thought you and Hugh
were the real deal.
Oh, please.
Our Liam, dating a hygienist?
Not good enough.
Can we not talk
about this now, please?
Also I would love to hear
your thoughts on fund raising.
We're trying to go
after bigger donors.
Oh, then she needs to
meet Evelyn cabrera.
You're still
in touch with her?
She's terrifying.
Liam, she can hear you!
I'm kidding, I knew he was
talking about Evelyn... cabrera.
We worked capital
markets together.
So smart, loves dogs,
has more money than god.
I will set up
a meeting Thursday.
Ooh, I'm at a shelter
association conference.
Wednesday?
I have a meeting with the
montessori school
in our district.
Isn't your kid
like only 6 months?
I know, we should have
been on this a year ago.
But I'll move it,
and if this costs my son
his spot you're dead.
Cheers all.
Bye.
Come on.
[♪]
Ooh, how was the vacay?!
Tell me everything.
It was a six day
walking tour of an twerp.
Okay, maybe not everything.
We did the diamond district,
the vlaamse opera.
You haven't heard opera until
you've heard it in flemish.
You would have loved it,
Kristian.
Sorry, were you
saying something?
Rude. Lara just
came back from...
It was a tour of Belgium
for lifelong learners.
Of course.
They cater to travelers
with an IQ of 150 or higher,
so it's pretty fun.
Oh, uh, I didn't even
know you were away.
Don't mind him.
We all missed you!
Well, back to the grind.
Or as they say in an twerp,
terug naar de sleur.
Ow!
That was mean.
You showed zero interest.
I was reading.
Yeah, 'cause today's dog
is so fascinating.
Meanwhile, I'm left trying
to figure out
where the heck
an twerp is.
Sorry.
You know, I used to
think you liked her.
(Chuckling)
But I guess
you moved on.
Yeah.
But can I tell you
a secret?
I haven't moved on
at all!
Oh, my gosh.
You played it so cool.
I know, my mom gave me some
advice which really grounded me.
"Every relationship
starts with a moment."
I thought you said
your mom gave you the advice.
Yeah, her voice gets deeper
when she's squatting.
The point is, I just have
to wait for my moment.
Like in the movies.
Their eyes meet,
and bam!
Things changed.
It's their moment!
Though, I've never
had one.
Oh, really?
I have them all the time.
Well, I can feel
my moment coming,
but until then,
it's krissy kool-pants.
I love it.
So exciting!
I know!
(Clearing throat)
Oh, there's
our fave volunteer.
Don't tell the others
I said that.
Oh, they know.
They're jealous.
You okay with
that, Doris?
And how is Ringo doing?
Getting in the way
as usual.
Doris:
Look at that sweet face.
Shannon: And he gets
his cast off tomorrow.
Doris: Well, I can't
miss the big leg reveal!
Oh!
It's the latest.
(Gasping)
Another mascarpone murder?
It's a series.
We're obsessed.
Chef Morris
has a new assistant.
Kinda reminds me of you.
She's quirky
and funny and pretty.
Aw!
The scene before she dies.
Oh, my god.
Spoiler alert!
Oh, don't worry, she's still
got all the sex stuff
to look forward to.
So, is it a romance,
a crime series, or a cookbook?
Calls itself
an erotic pot-boiler.
Well, then I will be
sure to read it alone.
[♪]
Creepy. Ever since
we talked about body pillows
I've been getting all
these ads for them.
Our devices are listening.
Also probably because I used
your laptop to buy one.
(New song starting
on the radio)
Oh yes, turn it up!
Wait, so does that mean
you also used my credit card?
Um, what's going on?
Uh-oh, fun police.
'Cause if we're dancin',
I can't hear it.
Crank it, k-man.
Kristian:
On it.
Okay!
Go, Kobe! Go, Kobe!
Oh wow, dance party!
I love it.
Come on, Lara,
let's do this.
I don't really
know the song.
Kristian!
Show us what you got!
Thanks, but I don't...
Come on, Kristian!
Okay.
Joy:
Ooh! Woo! Get it, k-man.
Check out the moves!
Paulie, get in here.
Okay.
Sure.
Hold on.
Nikki:
Wow, Paulie!
Was ballroom your
extra-curricular behind bars?
Actually, you know,
me and my ex used to cut a rug,
but yes.
Paul, going old school.
I love ballroom.
We got tickets to the dance
sport finals in an twerp.
So good.
Oh, maybe you should
switch partners.
Uh, but Kristian's kind of
in the middle of something.
How can I refuse?
Okay!
Easily.
[♪]
Wow.
Paul is amazing.
This sucks!
(Laughing)
Boom.
(Laughing)
(Applauding)
Woo-wee. Phew.
[♪]
(Whirring)
Paul:
Almost. And...
Buona salute!
(Cheering)
There you go,
little guy.
Aw, nice gams, buddy.
Thanks, buddy.
I bought them in Bruges.
They're made of
recycled fishing nets.
Paul:
Cool.
I was talking
about Ringo's leg.
Right.
(Phone vibrating)
Oh!
One sec, it's Doris.
Deputy detective sue-sheff
at your service!
Ringo just got his cast off,
where are you?
DORIS:
ON THE STAIRS.
Sorry, what?
I fell.
I was trying to change
the battery in
the smoke detector.
Oh, my god.
Are you okay?
I just...
(Gasping)
Jesus.
Okay, okay.
Don't move.
I don't think I can.
Okay, I'll be right there.
Ooh, cheese.
Can I have some?
Mm, sorry. These are mine.
Wow, you hungry?
Starving.
You okay?
Alright,
this isn't about cheese.
It's about the dancing!
He was really
impressing Lara,
and then you waltzed over
and stole his moment!
What do you mean,
moment?
You know,
when they see each other
and their hearts burst open
to embrace the other's soul!
Yeah, or we go for
bubble tea or something.
I don't think
that was your moment.
Believe me, I know.
I had someone special.
When our eyes met,
we had a moment,
then my wife found out
and bam!
That was
the worst moment.
So, you know,
don't try to force it.
Hey, look!
There's more cheese!
(Sirens beeping)
Hi, Travis, it's me again
calling about your mom.
We're still in emerge
and it looks like Doris
might need an X-ray.
All cause of him.
If he'd just fix
the goddamn smoke alarm
like he said he would...
Anyway, call me back,
if you can.
Like that's gonna happen.
Look, Doris, if you ever
need anything you can call me.
I could use
a rye and ginger.
Oh, finally!
A doctor.
Nurse.
Oh, right. Sexist.
Always learning.
My friend's not up
on the times.
Oh, only family
back here.
Oh, I'm her daughter.
And my best friend.
(Groaning)
Oh, here.
Let me help you.
Oh, you're a good daughter.
I should put you in my will.
At least I'd know my money'd
be going to a good cause.
Oh, if I'd known
you'd be doing that,
I'd have driven
here slower!
Okay, we'll need some x-rays,
assuming you're not pregnant.
No, but let's see
how the day goes.
Mom loves a hot doctor...
Nurse. Sorry.
Oh, can you check to see if
I put my health card back?
You bet, mom.
I get it.
(Phone vibrating)
Crap!
Hey.
Hi, Shannon. We're all just
admiring your power move.
Is parking okay?
No, no. Parking is fine,
it's just...
I'm just going to pop you on
speaker with Evelyn and darnay.
Both:
Hi, Shannon.
Can I start you a latte?
Oh, sure,
it's just
I'm at the hospital.
Both: Oh, no!
Tonya: Are you alright?
I'm fine. Doris fell.
- Who?
- A volunteer.
Liability nightmare.
Well, it happened at home.
We're just waiting
to see a doctor.
Her son's not answering
and her smoke alarm's broken.
Huh, 'cause I had
three sitters
fall through,
and you know what I did?
She brought her baby.
(Baby cooing)
I problem solved.
Maybe we can do
this on the phone?
Tonya tells me
you two go way back.
I'm sorry,
I can't hear you.
Maybe we should
do this next month.
Impossible, and why did
she say yes to the latte?
We're so sorry about this.
Next time,
coffee is on me.
Evelyn and I need
to catch up anyway.
Then we should have
made these martinis.
I want to hear all
about your leonbergers.
Aw, they're asleep
in darnay's office.
It's a cubicle.
Shannon:
Oh, I love leonbergers.
Is she still on?
Call you later.
Uh, can I help you?
This is a private room.
Yes, my mother's.
Oh, my god.
You're...
Travis.
Her son.
Why are you rifling
through my mother's wallet?
She asked me to find
her health card, and here it is,
oh, and her organ donor card.
Good for her.
Though I hope we don't, uh,
need it.
I had no idea you
were her son.
I had no idea it was
any of your business.
It's just,
Doris has never mentioned you.
Yeah, well, uh, she's not
my biggest fan right now.
Well, you weren't
exactly first on the scene.
Oh! Well, you see, I really
wanted to be here sooner,
but somebody had
my truck towed.
You threw my map
on the ground.
So, you had
my truck towed?!
Look, I really think
we should be focusing
on your mom right now.
Yes, I can see that
you're doing that,
with her cash and credit cards.
I'll take that, thank you.
I just wanted to
make sure Doris was okay.
Yeah, well,
she's not, okay?
I mean, hypertension,
cholesterol, cold hands.
She shouldn't even be
living in that house.
Says the guy who
lives in his truck.
I don't live in my truck.
I work in my truck,
and sometimes I nap
in my truck.
You know what?
You don't know anything.
I know she's your mother,
and she deserves respect.
Yes, okay, thank you,
and with respect,
why don't you go
help some puppies
or, oh, I don't know,
get an ambulance towed.
Jesus.
Look what the cat dragged in.
Hi, mom.
Are you okay?
Sir, only one family member
at a time back here.
Family. Wait.
Why is she back here?
Oh, leave her alone.
She was just trying to help.
I'll let you catch up
with your son.
You don't have
much time left.
Excuse me?
Because he's probably
illegally parked.
I appreciate
what you're doing,
but I don't think
it's going to work.
Are you kidding?
Step up, centre stage,
step up 2: The streets.
Good dancing
turns people into heroes.
Soon Paul will be
dancing in your shadow!
Just one thing.
Promise not to
fall in love with me.
Joy, I'm really not...
When people
start dancing,
hearts start prancing.
Fine, I promise,
but you have to do the same.
(Laughing)
Okay.
But, yes, I promise.
(Speaking in Australian accent)
Then a bit of musicality, please!
That's from
strictly ballroom.
Sounds old.
Stay focused.
Okay, so, according to this,
we start with a side step.
Slow, slow,
quick-quick-slow.
No, no.
Less slither, more hip.
Switch your weight
on your feet.
Here. Ready?
Slow, slow,
quick-quick-slow.
This is wrong, isn't it?
Paul:
Completely wrong.
It's less like
marching in place
and more like
you really gotta pee.
May I?
Okay, but you have to
promise Kristian something.
Yeah?
I think we're good.
Here we go.
And one, two, cha-cha-cha.
One, two, cha-cha-cha.
That's good.
[♪]
Shannon:
Knock-knock.
No, I haven't
had a poo yet.
It's me.
People here are
obsessed with my bowels.
Well, these won't help that,
but they're for you.
Signed by everyone at
the shelter.
Lots of woofs
and meows.
Aw, you're sweet.
I also have
something else for you,
or, should I say,
someone else.
Come here, Ringo.
Oh, Ringo!
Oh, look at you.
Jumping up on that leg.
You're putting me to shame.
We were hoping
you'd be home by now.
How are you feeling?
I stood up today,
I mean, that's something.
Don't mean to break up
the party, but no pets allowed.
Aw, come on franny, how could
you kick out a cutie like this?
He's a rescue from Mexico.
Only exceptions
are therapy dogs.
Also, he's a therapy dog.
At least he's got
you sitting up.
Maybe we could
go for a walk later.
Good luck.
My own nurse
betting against me.
Maybe we'll see
the bathroom later.
Ooh.
Potty party, woo-woo!
(Chuckling)
It's too much. I know.
[♪]
Okay?
You ready?
Oh, yeah.
Oh man, love this song.
There it is.
Hey, anyone else feeling this?
Yeah!
Turn it up, Paul.
Sorry, I'm on a call
with the leash guys.
Tell them
it's party time!
Yeah, so we'll get three doubles
and a martingale.
Uh-oh, is this
another dance par-tay?
I'm gonna
have to call you back.
The bozos at work
are goin' nuts again.
Uh, we need
better tunes.
No!
Don't touch it, Nikki!
(Scoffing)
That works too.
Hey, looking good,
k-cup.
Maybe we should wait.
We should wait.
We can't party
until everyone's here.
Is everyone here?!
Okay, is this
a shelter or a rave?
May I?
Of course.
Yes!
[♪]
Whoa, babe!
Ravi, we were just...
Dancing, no,
I love it.
Such free spirits.
Though, I can't get you
on the dance floor much.
Wow, that's, uh,
very close dancing.
That's not
a sanctioned move.
It'll come, kid.
Well then...
Shall we?
Thought you'd never ask.
Oh my gosh, I promised
I wouldn't fall in love.
What?
[♪]
Nice moves.
I was just...
I don't know.
Uh, I'm pretty busy.
Clearly.
I'll make this quick.
What's that?
First my mother's purse,
now her savings.
What are you
talking about?
You brainwashed my mother into
writing you a big fat cheque.
Says she wants the shelter
in her will now.
Oh my gosh,
I thought she was joking.
I obviously want
what's best for Doris.
Right, just like
the one-handed sommelier
wanted what's best for
deputy detective sheff.
I'M SORRY, DID YOU READ
ONE OF THE MASCARPONE MURDERS?
I was at the hospital
for seven hours.
And do you want a medal.
Ringo put in
more time than that.
Look, whatever.
The book's trash.
It was morag,
the cousin, who did it.
Why would you...
I knew you didn't
finish it!
(Groaning)
(Paul laughing)
Cha-cha-cha!
Is Ringo ready?
He was born ready.
I mean,
other than the heart defect,
but he's got this.
Ross, I have a date
and happy hour ends at 7:00.
I'm not paying full price
for some guy named Greg.
Okay, Kristian?
Ta-da!
Gran-paws!
Did you two
rehearse this?
It's an outreach program.
We take our older dogs to visit
seniors in homes and hospitals.
When I took Ringo
to visit Doris,
the patients couldn't
get enough of him.
One woman
remembered who she was
for the first time
in six months.
She was wrong,
but the joy, very real.
Plus, it would be great for our
older buddies to get out more,
since they rarely
get adopted.
Aw.
Oh, my god,
was that me?
You love it!
Well, certainly better
than that email I got
from Travis Reed.
Truck guy?
He's an idiot.
Says you conned his mother
out of her life savings,
and then towed him.
I towed him first.
Well, he cc'd the board.
Add that to your missed meeting
with Tonya and not a great look.
Doris needed me.
That's our job, isn't it?
Helping this community?
Otherwise,
why are we doing this?
Because it's unsanitary to have
strays roaming the streets,
and who else is
going to store them?
And... that thing
you said about helping
and sad people and...
Aw.
Aw!
We're all saying it.
Okay, my date's waiting.
Aw!
No, I've seen the guy.
He is definitely not "aw".
♪ Let's shake it up ♪
♪ It's kinda scary
but I'm lovin' the rush ♪
♪ My heart is racin'
like oh-oh-oh ♪
♪ 'cause this feels like home ♪
♪ Yeah, it's true ♪
♪ Look in the mirror
and I'm feelin' so good ♪
♪ Yeah, I've been searchin'
like oh-oh-oh ♪
♪ And this feels like home ♪