Stormester (2018–…): Season 4, Episode 6 - Er det Mona Lisa? - full transcript
Damn awesome shed you've got, Mark.
"Write the best lyrics
to Stormester's title theme."
"Perform your lyrics
in the most iconic way."
"You have 20 minutes.
Time starts now."
All right.
A large house and a garden.
These were the ingredients
the Taskmaster used-
-to create the perfect TV show.
Then a bald person smoked inside.
This was how the Taskmaster
created the most important program.
Good evening. Welcome to Stormester.
My name is Lasse Rimmer.
I am the Taskmaster and
a first-class gentleman.
I rule over the opus historians
will christen "season 4".
Tasks have been solved.
The adventurers are: Anders Breinholt.
Neel Rønholt.
Mahamad Habane.
Annika Aakjær.
And Jakob Thrane.
And here I am sitting next to
my obedient assistant, Mark Le Fêvre.
If you're not good at French:
Le Fêvre means solitaire.
- No.
- I'm pretty sure of that.
Mahamad, thanks for the song,
if you can call it that.
- No, man. Haven't you ...
- I haven't had experience.
That's what you need Koda for.
And that's a world premiere.
That's 13,500. [~US$2,164]
Can one get a lot of money
to remove it from all platforms?
People will pay to have it removed.
I have sung too much on this program.
- You're a little ahead of the beat.
- This was cooler.
If I were the X Factor judge,
you would have moved on.
Now you say ahead of the beat.
I think, Mahamad -
- you sing like a guy
who is parked illegally.
Thank you so much for the song.
I don't know if it's comforting
for the rest of you -
- but there are no points for that.
- What are we playing for tonight?
- A personal item.
The person who brought the prize
is you, Jakob Thrane.
I have brought a ...
I've brought a pair of scissors.
The winner gets the honor of cutting ...
- No, Mark, you must win it!
- What ...
If I win it, I'll give it to you.
- I'll probably sew it on you.
- Thank you very much.
You could have it spread all over.
You can feel you're ready to take advantage -
- that Mark cannot disqualify
or give zero points.
It was hard. Mark, don't be upset.
Extensions require that
you already have hair.
Yes, then let's have fun.
Mark Le Fêvre, let's get started
with tonight's program.
Do you want to start with a task
that only Habane has solved?
No!
There aren't any more of those.
There's one here that
everyone's solved. Pardon.
No, shit, man.
No!
- Are they Jehovah's Witnesses?
- Mark Le Fêvre's trash can! Yes.
- Shall we look inside?
- It's empty.
No, there's nothing in it. Oh! Oh.
They saved it.
"Throw something into the trash can
from the longest distance."
"The trash can lid must be ..."
"The trash can lid must be closed
when you throw your stuff."
What? It must be closed?
When I throw something,
it has to be closed.
"The thing thrown from
the farthest distance wins."
"Mark must not open the lid."
- "You have 20 minutes."
- "Time starts now."
How do I get it open?
I need string.
That sounds difficult. Who should we
see try to solve the task first?
We need Anders Breinholt,
who is ready with ropes -
- and Annika prepared with
a bit from Mark Le Fêvre.
It doesn't have to be a single throw.
We can run around where I throw
to you and you throw to me.
Like in basketball, where I
eventually throw it in.
Now we're trying something.
Now I think ...
We don't have to run around.
We can throw back and forth.
We can stand and throw without
losing it for 100 years.
... 11, 12, 13, 14 ...
... 32, 33, 34, 35 ...
- Underhand throw!
- Pardon.
... 71, 72 ...
... 133, 134, 135 ...
Shut up, how would that be so nice.
No! No! Little pig!
Damn it!
... 246. No!
I'm going crazy!
Well. It's just to complete the task.
Then it's just ...
- I can't find out.
- 15, 16, 17, 18.
- It must not go wrong.
- Five seconds! Three seconds!
Okay, okay.
Yes. That wasn't very smart, Anders.
See you, Mark. Beware.
There are nails in that one.
- That ball was thrown short!
- Yes yes!
There was a bad mood
after the task was solved.
We see how the scoring is,
how bad the mood is.
- Why should you have many?
- Then it counts.
That's the distance!
We had thrown over 200 times.
How long is once?
It was two and a half meters.
It's a lot of piss!
Sure.
That way of thinking, Annika, means -
- that anyone who
has touched a football -
- in a match, gets credit
for all the scores.
Yes, it's a team effort.
It's also: "We won!"
The goal scorer is not all 22 players!
The goal scorer is the
last to kick the ball.
Now it's not football.
It's a completely different task.
What you're doing is metaphorically
incorrect, Lasse.
I'm trying to comfort you.
If you were right in your theory -
- that every meter the ball
is thrown counts -
- would you fret over the
245 throws before he fucks up?
- It's her who throws short!
- You're short enough!
- Oh well!
- You should have longer arms!
I've said that for a long time.
It doesn't matter.
After the 246 throws we would have measured
the distance from the last pass.
It's one throw.
It says so in the task.
This means that we can
look at how Anders stands -
- and whips himself to a better effort.
The idea was not stupid.
There were eight meters of rope.
It could have been extended.
There was no reason for that.
Then I will ask Mark how
the two participants did.
Yes, Annika, it was a throw
of 40 centimeters.
Yes.
So!
Anders, you managed to get
a full 142 centimeters.
One must keep in mind that the
Taskmaster approves these two trials.
It's important to get on the board.
The lid was closed. You opened
the lid before hitting -
- with, for example, a ball.
The rules are followed.
If you like rules being followed.
Well, then you will be disappointed.
Yes, Neel and Habane.
Don't open the bin.
I can do it myself.
If I do this ...
- So.
- Did you destroy it?
It works fine.
It says the lid should be closed
when I throw my stuff.
My plan is to throw my things away,
put something on the bin, -
- go up, and then I throw
something down in the trash.
I have to throw something into it.
Longest distance.
One, two, three.
- I threw one thing.
- Yes.
Good, and it was closed when I threw.
Now it's very open.
So.
Now, now, now.
Short arms!
- It was from up here.
- Not entirely on television.
It's not in the trash!
I have a little question.
Did anything say that the lid
must be closed when you threw?
The rubbish bin lid must
be closed when you ...
Yes.
Solve the task first.
Read it afterwards.
Your solution does not
comply with the rules.
No. I have to finish the task
for the next time.
- Neel?
- Yes.
"I just have to throw one thing
and hit with another."
- I don't understand what's going on.
- "Throw a thing."
- Yes. Yes. Exactly.
- You're never satisfied.
It says "throw a thing", I threw
a thing. Is he satisfied?
You say, "Pick up my daughter, come
home with someone else's son."
- You can't do that!
- May I say something?
It strikes me that I have used the
same trash can as Habane.
That was why the lid would not open.
Otherwise it would have worked perfectly.
It was a bad prop for the task.
You didn't recycle bins, did you?
Then it has nothing on it.
I saw a light on the horizon.
- You're in the front right now!
- That's right, too.
He's not used to it.
Neel, you throw one thing while
the lid was not closed.
It was closed.
Not the thing you hit the trash with.
Coming home with someone else's
son gives a bad mood.
What can I do other than say
better luck next time.
Thank you, but it's yourself
you're talking to.
- Then we are missing a participant.
- We are missing Jakob Thrane.
If you have followed the program
a bit, you will know -
- that Thrane has not fared so well.
What do you mean?
It's how you look at it.
There is a "but".
A tiny little "but".
"The trash can lid must be closed
when you throw your stuff."
Do we have any tools?
Now look there. So.
We're going over there.
I just need to get some balls.
Okay.
Beautiful! Farther. Farther!
Come on, Mark!
- Mark!
- It went in!
So!
Jakob!
- I came to pat myself.
- I would've done the same.
Do you realize what you
could have driven it to?
How bad have I been? Jesus Christ!
This is ...
We cut you out of all programs and
show it here on all tasks.
- It's an exceptionally good solution.
- Thanks. Can we stick to it?
The only thing left is that
we get a points distribution.
Fine. Zero points for Habane
and Neel. Disqualified.
Three points for Annika.
It was a throw of 40 centimeters.
Four points for Anders
with a throw of 142 centimeters.
And Jakob the "Phoenix Bird" Thrane -
- got a throw of 4,340 centimeters.
Let's proceed. What now?
We're going to a task.
It's something with drawing and dots.
Or as one of the participants
said, "It looks tiring."
- Hi, Mark.
- Hi Jakob.
So.
Goodness, goodness!
It looks tiring.
- "Make a big dot drawing."
- So it was a big one.
- "You need the poles ..."
- "Like your dots and the rope ..."
- "Like your line."
- "You have 20 minutes for the sticks."
"You have three minutes to the line."
"Easiest recognizable and most
ambitious dot drawing wins."
Oh! I can make such a drawing, which
was taught in primary school -
- where you make a 25, and
then you can tie them together.
Time starts now.
- You know what?
- No.
We're doing the Mona Lisa.
You have it on camera now.
Then I'd better do it.
Such a drawing, which was found
among the crusaders:
Draw a drawing dot to dot.
- Shall we see how it went?
- I've cut it all together.
Everything with poles and ropes.
Then we can see the results at the end.
Yes.
How hard it is for the arm.
Are you looking?
Beautiful!
And time's up.
Maybe you need to help me, Mark Le Fevre.
Do you mind taking the drum?
Then you just come with me.
Yes, please. Damn good.
Yes, please.
- Are you following?
- Yes, I'm coming now.
Gakkedigikkedigakkedigik.
That nose is fucking ingenious.
Come on, my friend.
Now I'm going down here.
Please drop the rope.
Now it's Christmas again, and now it's
Christmas again, and Christmas lasts until Mark!
I don't remember that!
- I can't remember!
- Can't remember the task?
I don't remember I did that there.
You sang: "Christmas lasts until Mark"?
[a riff on "Christmas lasts until Easter"]
- This is how we sing it at my house.
- There's a Christmas theme at stake.
We can see that.
Mark, how do we do this?
I have made an animation so that
the drawing comes into view.
- Are you looking forward already?
- Yes. There's nothing to be ashamed of.
Let's wait a bit. We start over
with you, Annika, for your Christmas ...
Yes. Yes. Something with
Christmas. Here it comes.
Okay. Oh, oh, oh, oh what?
What? What?
I can well understand you felt
like dancing around the tree.
Mark inspires me in all my art.
It is recognizable as a
Christmas tree because of the star.
- It's a good start.
- Now it's Habane.
It starts as the number 25,
and then it becomes something else.
What?
- Shut up, how big is that?
- I'm running fast.
What ...
- Explain the drawing.
- It's very simple.
You can then see your dog.
It's a dog with a cap on.
That's the ear. That's the eye.
The mouth. Nose. And then a cap.
That's what it is. That's it.
It is art.
- Now I'm just saying it directly.
- No! What are you saying?
One of the two criteria
is recognizability.
You weaken your case when you
have to explain what you've done.
If you have to explain art to people,
it's because they're not smart.
I'll need that quote in a moment.
I am pleased. Thank you, Annika.
- Do I have to see another one?
- Do you want to see Neel's?
I would like that.
- It looks complicated.
- What the hell is that?
Oh yeah. A castle. Okay. Relax.
- Is it a castle or a palace?
- It's a castle. A knight's castle.
Yes.
There are many geometric shapes.
I can see what it is.
Recognizability: maximum.
Ambition level ...
There I will say triangles,
squares, and pentagons.
- Do I have to see another one?
- You need to have the excuses ready.
If you don't understand
art, you're stupid.
- It starts very well.
- I understand it already now.
- Yes!
- Yes yes.
- I can see that.
- Do you want to hear what it is?
- Yes.
- Thanks. They can see it.
I can see that, too.
It's called "The Happy Rascal
with the Little Eyes".
There are the little eyes and the
crooked smile and the little nose.
The hair looks a bit like a ship.
There's a crane in Nordhavnen. [harbor]
Well, it's hair? I thought of it
as cat ears or a Batman cartoon.
I thought I had made a human face.
I can recognize facial features, whether
or not they belong to a human.
There is a certain recognizability.
We are missing one drawing.
It sounded like the most ambitious.
We are missing Thrane's Mona Lisa.
You forgot a rope in one eye.
It's a police sketch: "The man
who robbed the kiosk looks like this!"
- One to one!
- I can see it in the smile.
- You don't know ...
- The enigmatic smile.
Well done. One doesn't know
if she is happy or sad.
And the only one
who used all 66 poles -
- and the Mona Lisa
is over 30 meters high.
- So!
- It's gone well.
A little hair splendor
is missing. Yes, yes, yes.
What do I like best? Can I
see all five drawings?
There is no doubt there.
That's hard. Let's rank them.
We start with one point.
Anders, it will be for
the traffic-affected cat.
Habane, it's not so recognizable.
You get two points.
Three points to Neel for
a not-so-ambitious castle.
Then it stands between
Annika and Jakob Thrane.
Four points for Annika. The ambitions mean
there are five points for Jakob Thrane.
What's up with that?
Let's move on to
tonight's third task, Mark.
We have someone who can get your heart
rate up. Not that you need it. Like that.
It's a little shocking.
Ta ta da!
There you are, Mark.
Exciting. Exciting cases.
Wow!
I assume it's ...
Da da da da!
Wow.
What a surprise that it was a task.
"Make the most shocking revelation."
- "Most shocking revelation wins."
- "You have eight weeks."
It was not this one.
It could be wild to be a spy.
Then I had been that all along.
I have no skeletons in the closet.
Maybe a little child skeleton.
I could do some digging and
find all those tax millions.
- I have to find out.
- It's going to be shocking.
- It is well.
- You give me a shock!
In the best of all worlds,
I have to do this:
What? If successful,
there are top points.
Then I am shocked.
Where do we start, Mark?
We start with you, Habane.
What do you want to shock with?
Yes, well, prepare to say, "What?"
Over here, I have
a shocking revelation.
It wasn't much.
That's my health insurance card.
It says Mahamad there.
The problem is that's not my name.
So why does it say Mahamad?
When we came to Denmark,
my father misspelled my name.
My real name is Muhammad.
The problem ... Yes. I've given up.
Muhammad is an Arabic name. There
are many who call it that.
It is pronounced differently. It
is pronounced Mahamad in Somalia.
Like if Jakob's name was Jacob.
My dad spells the name
as he usually says it.
Up here is my date of birth:
031190, November 3rd.
That is also wrong.
It has nothing to do with my dad
pronouncing dates in a special way.
That's just very wrong.
He forgot when I was born.
The way I found out is fucked up.
I came to Denmark when I was seven
years old. I was kicked into 1st grade.
One day my teacher comes in and
checks the records and says:
"Mahamad, you have a birthday today."
And then I'm like,
'Shut up, how cool!'
We have no tradition of celebrating
a birthday in my family.
This was the first day I celebrated
a birthday. All the children sang:
"Today is Mahamad's birthday."
It was the coolest day of my life.
I said to my mother, "You'll never
guess what happened at school."
"I had a fucking birthday at school!"
And then ...
And then my mother says,
"No, you didn't."
I'm like, "I'm pretty sure
I had a birthday at school."
"I had a balloon!"
She's checking the papers -
- and looks at my health insurance
card: "Dad made a mistake."
She can see that. I say, "I'm just
saying tomorrow, that was a mistake."
We had just come to Denmark that year.
My mother is very paranoid.
What would happen to my father?
Can he be punished for it? She says
to eight-year-old little me ...
I know I was eight.
I had just had a birthday.
She says: "Mahamad, next year when
they sing the birthday song for you -
- just let them finish singing.
Otherwise, Dad's going to jail."
That's not a lie. Ten years,
my whole primary school -
- every single year a birthday
song was sung for me:
"Mahamad has a birthday, and he
has it, and it is not today."
Now I have said it
on nationwide television.
In a quarter of an hour,
my father will be picked up by the police.
- Thanks. Who's next?
- Anders Breinholt.
The unveiling was on Natholdet [late-night
show he hosts] a good while ago.
I had a visit from Casper Christensen.
[comedian, hosted Danish Deal or No Deal]
I mean, we have a clip
where the revelation comes out.
I have to say I need to be sterilized soon.
- I'm just going to ...
- Where to? So ...
It must be there.
That's the revelation. I have said
many things from my private life.
You can do that, but where
it will be a huge revelation -
- that is when others call
it a revelation or a big surprise.
"Anders Breinholt with wild
revelation: must be sterilized."
I don't know why they have chosen a picture
of Line Baun Danielsen. [journalist]
- Line Baun has to do it.
- Doesn't she look relieved?
- It's the big revelation.
- There's a pair of scissors you can win.
No, how exciting!
The winner will be allowed
to take this first.
There are hygiene rules.
Then we cut here afterwards.
- Is it you who does it?
- I can circumcise afterwards.
I'm ready.
We have received two revelations.
Can I have another one?
Yes, we jump on to a shocker
from you, Neel Rønholt.
I was very much looking
forward to this task -
- because I've always thought
I was such a bit of an ...
... exciting person.
Actor. One with the other.
I was going to dig.
What shocking stories
have I taken with me?
It was a slightly different journey
I embarked on than I had hoped.
I have no shocking stories in my luggage.
No shocking acquaintances or secrets.
But I found a site called
gennemsnitsdanskeren.dk. [Average
Denmark, real, but not the real URL]
It was shocking reading.
The last time I was
traveling was to Mallorca.
I love Spain just
like the average Dane.
I moved away from home when I
was 20. The average Dane does.
It was in August, when most Danes
move away from home.
I had my first child when I was 29.5
years old. 29.1 is the average.
Alcohol is an essential part
of the average Dane's life.
It has not diminished since I
found gennemsnitsdanskeren.dk.
And then I had my trump card.
I can burp on command.
63.1% of Danes can do that.
I would be special if I couldn't.
Should one sit behind the screen
one day and need some statistics -
- which is not on Statistics Denmark,
you can google me -
- and what comes up, you can say,
is the average Dane.
It's a real Neel.
It was so shocking that there
was nothing shocking.
You are shockingly average.
You're special, Neel.
You are good enough.
You are good enough.
We have been through shockingly
incorrectly named, sterilized -
- and averaged. Give me another shot.
You get one that has been anything
but average: Jakob Thrane.
Yes. I'm totally nervous.
But ...
I sit down straight.
I don't want to say so much.
I just want to say I've gone all in.
Then I really just want to
let it speak for itself.
- Oh no.
- No! No no no!
No! No!
- I still have more than you, Mark.
- No, it was ...
Try to see him from behind!
Turn around, Jakob!
- No no no!
- What a beautiful wreath!
No, damn it! Now you
update your Tinder profile.
It must be tonight. No, how nice.
- You're ...
- Shut up!
People ask me why I don't let it grow.
I've hidden my hair in a bag.
Then you can have it.
- We can spread it beyond.
- I got a hairstyle shock.
I can figure out there's one left.
It's not settled.
We're missing you, Annika.
Yes.
It's hard to top that. Well done.
I'm told I want to do digging journalism.
Do you know Jodel? [anonymous-talk app]
- Oh no!
- I've spent eight weeks on there.
That's longer than those who want to know
why Citybois [pop duo] have broken up.
It's been a long time, and I've
summarized what I've found -
- which I brought with me today.
I'm just going to get something.
I made a song about Jodel.
You must know -
- that when playing
something on a ukulele -
- it doesn't matter what you say.
Then it doesn't hurt as much.
I just want to say this first.
I'm singing this song for you.
It was my friend Jesper who asked me:
"Do you know Jodel?"
And I answered no.
"It's a terrible place,
you must never go there."
Four seconds later, I
had downloaded the app.
And it was summer
and Saint John's Eve, -
and I completely fell for a thread
about Dancing with the Stars.
I completely disappeared in Saszeline
[Sørensen, singer]'s corona theory.
Jodeleihi! Jodeleiho!
I didn't find a single thread
that said Lasse is smart.
Jodeleihi! Jodeleiho!
Well, there was no dirt
about Lasse's IQ.
And I peeled and peeled, and
suddenly there it was.
There was a damn thread
about Annika Aakjær.
Someone wanted to know
if she's into boys or girls.
One wrote: "She's a lesbian, because
that's the vibe she gives."
Jodeleihi! Jodeleiho!
But I still found no
threads that Lasse is smart.
Jodeleihi! Jodeleiho!
No, not about your fucking IQ.
There are actually also
some threads about Anders B.
But I'll only mention the one
that you wear diapers.
Neel, is there going to be a "Tinka 3"?
[TV show she's on] Jodel already broke it!
And Habane, he's on Tinder.
Thrane will run out to get
his phone to find you!
Jodeleihi! Jodeleiho!
There isn't a single thread
that Lasse is smart.
Jodeleihi! Jodeleiho!
There's no shit about your IQ.
And, Mark, you thought
I had forgotten you.
In fact, I just saved you.
At the very end,
how to talk over a verse -
- because it's getting really sad.
"What about Mark Le Fêvre? Was it in his
stomach that he did not get enough oxygen?"
"It's his head that's round and
because he's sweating wildly."
Jodeleihi! Jodeleiho!
I'll probably make a thread
about you being smart.
Jodeleihi! Jodeleiho!
I'll probably go in and write
to everyone about your IQ.
It is, if in doubt, a social
media site for cowards.
- That's it!
- It's shit on shit.
I've spent eight weeks
on there! Research!
Now we have just recruited 80 users:
"I have to check that too."
Try to hear. These were five revelations
that I had to digest.
Let me rank them.
It's nice to be average.
It can be shocking for oneself.
I'm surprised but not shocked.
- You thought ...
- It's going to be one point.
Yes, you know what? Thank you!
I give a few points to Breinholt.
I watch Natholdet.
It was a thing that
exploded like wildfire.
Some people think: "Shouldn't more
be put in the world by it ..."
So pale and red-haired children.
But it doesn't have to be that way.
I'll do it. I practice
a lot at the moment.
The least shocking thing is
that no one cares if I'm smart.
The rest of the song I loved.
I give you three points.
Habane, you were in for five
points until that cap came off.
No one in here was untouched
by what turned up.
Four points to Habane.
Five points for Jakob Thrane.
Mark Le Fêvre, what does
the position look like?
It's crazy. Jakob Thrane has
15 out of 15 possible points.
Yes, yes!
Can we find time for one more task?
You know what's better than one task?
- Two tasks?
- Yes, that too.
I have one where there
are seven tasks in one task.
It is sevenfold joy and
gladness. May I have ...
- Of course you can.
- What is it?
- Hi, Mark.
- It's a complicated task.
It sounds something like
the Da Vinci mystery.
- That's the main task.
- This is the one I have to take first.
Well, it's a bit of a turnaround.
"Solve the seven tasks."
- There are eight envelopes.
- "When you touch a task ..."
- "You must complete it ..."
- "Before you can open the next one."
"Fastest to solve
all seven tasks wins."
- Time starts now.
- One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
- There is probably a good order.
- This one.
I'll start with this one. Okay.
Yes.
It's seven tasks in one task.
You choose the order yourself.
It's a free-for-all.
Who are we to see choose their own order?
It will be a little piece with
Anders Breinholt and Jakob Thrane.
The puzzle. It was lucky I hit it.
Build a tower of bricks. The tower must
be more than one and a half meters high -
- and remain standing during
the rest of the task.
That was the task.
So! Ow, my back.
"Take it apart again. Save the
pieces around the garden."
Into the thistles. Then Anders Breinholt
will take them out again in a little while.
"Assemble the puzzle." Now look there.
What does it say here? "Throw the yoga ball
so that it overturns at least one cone."
"You have to throw the ball from behind
the red rope." Where's the rope?
Where's the rope, man? Ah!
"Put the wheelbarrow into Mark's house."
"The wheelbarrow should stay there
for the rest of the task."
There must be running.
"Put 20 things in the wheelbarrow
that are bigger than a tennis ball."
"Build a tower from the bricks.
Should the tower topple over -
- you have to start over
from the first task."
One by one.
20!
Wherever I had built it, it had
been the same shit. Oh no!
Anders! Anders!
You're throwing bricks!
Then I have to start all over again.
We put together puzzles with Lasse Rimmer.
"Save all the puzzle pieces."
Then it's done.
So. "Put 20 things in the wheelbarrow."
10, 11, 20!
Then there is one task left.
- "Place one hand on your hip."
- "Keep it there during the task."
"If your hand leaves the hip, start
over from the first task."
I'm done.
Would it have been tiring
if you had chosen that first?
I can't imagine that.
Then I wouldn't be here.
So ...
I can see ... The four
are smarter than I am.
- The carpet up where there is a plant.
- You haven't seen the rest of us ...
- No, that's fair enough.
- Thank you for the rose.
Well, but yes.
- Your order seems straightforward.
- It was more luck than sense.
The order, Mark, has a pretty
straightforward influence.
There is free choice. If you go
clockwise, the order is as follows:
Puzzles, save pieces, wheelbarrow in house,
20 things in wheelbarrow, -
- overturn cone, build tower, hand
on hip. You can take it first.
Then I would say that the rest of
the experience becomes tiring.
Here come Habane and Annika.
Then we take this one here.
"Place a hand ..."
"On your hip. Keep it
there during the task."
I'm right-handed. It was because
I was still reading the task.
"Build a tower out of bricks." These
are slaves, I must not use two hands.
- How high is it now?
- Assemble the puzzle.
I can't ... Should I use my
left hand the rest of the time?
Okay. It's already a little shaky.
I have to move it a bit.
It's going to fall.
There!
- Please, man!
- Now I just hope ...
Stay! It's like a dog.
Like that. I can ... Like that.
Yes.
"Save all the puzzle pieces
around the garden."
"Build a tower out of bricks."
One and a half meters is like that.
20!
How stupid it is,
I took my left hand!
"Throw the yoga ball so that
it overturns at least one cone."
Yes! How wild!
"Save all the puzzle pieces around."
"Put 20 things in the wheelbarrow."
These are the last things.
"Throw the ball so that
it overturns a cone."
It doesn't say where
the cone should stand.
- I'm done.
- So. I'm done!
Habane, is this your first time
putting together a puzzle?
Almost actually. I tried when
there was a lockdown.
It was popular.
I couldn't figure that out.
Habane spent a little more than
a quarter of an hour assembling it.
We simply didn't have puzzles
at home to play with.
You can laugh about that today.
- Annika, you're fighting with that tower.
- Yes.
It's a simple tower, but it
took Annika 25 minutes.
To build a tower. Which
in turn remained standing.
- How did the participants do?
- It's surprisingly close.
With 34 minutes and 46 seconds,
we have Annika -
- where 25 of them were on a tower.
At the other end we have
Thrane flying through -
- in 23 minutes and 34 seconds.
Then it gets close. Anders and Habane,
only 14 seconds separate you.
The faster is the one-armed Habane.
He completed all seven tasks
in 31 minutes and 41 seconds.
31? 31 minutes? I spent half
the time on the puzzle.
Yes.
- Cool.
- I spent 23 minutes on that tower.
You accomplished six of the seven tasks
with one hand in about a quarter of an hour.
It has gone very well.
We are still missing one participant.
Why do you have ...
"Assemble the whole puzzle."
Ear. So. Then I have to move on
to the next task.
"Place one of your hands ..."
"Build a tower of bricks
on the red carpet."
So. Now it's there.
"Throw the yoga ball so that it
overturns at least one of the cones."
No! Yes! So.
"Put 20 things in the wheelbarrow."
One, two, three ...
If they spill out,
I have to start over.
Eh.
"Put this wheelbarrow into Mark's house."
I got an idea for her Nille,
who I play in the Christmas calendar -
- she was going to fall in love
with someone in the world of elves.
I couldn't figure out who was
going to play that pixie.
I want it to be someone who ...
Can I ask something?
Do you need help?
I want you to drive the
wheelbarrow into your house.
You are so nice. Thanks. The one who is
going to play Santa must be able to take hold.
Yes, that's a good idea.
It would suit such a series.
- Maybe I should suggest you.
- I hadn't thought of that.
"Save all the puzzle pieces
around the garden."
- Now I've saved them.
- Are there more tasks?
- No.
- Well, perfect.
It was okay.
Haven't they called yet?
They are still sitting and ...
- I must not say anything.
- It can come at any time.
Yes, it can!
Now there is another candidate
for the same role.
I still have some hair on the sides.
That must count.
It would be exciting to see Nille
fall in love with a child molester.
I think, "You need to meet
your new dad."
TV 2 never approves of you.
It's hard to get you through
the approval process.
She solved seven tasks in just
22 minutes and seven seconds.
It's alright! It's nice!
Well, I have a feeling that before
the last task of the evening -
- someone stands in a unique
position. Who leads?
He leads impressively, and his name
is Jakob Thrane.
Wow!
It's also Jakob Thrane's own hair
whip and scissors that are at stake.
Let’s see how it ends in the final
task tonight, here on stage.
Only a single task is missing tonight.
- Jakob Thrane.
- Thank you.
"Build the tallest tower of potatoes.
Your tower must be free-standing."
"The tower stands on the table and is measured
from the table top to the highest point."
"You have 100 seconds."
A tower of potatoes.
The tallest tower wins.
You have 100 seconds. Time starts now.
- What is this?
- I'm taking this damn thing.
Okay. This is great.
Where there are many.
This isn't a trap where some
of this is not potato, right?
So this is not a potato.
- Down. It's a little clammy.
- Is there a tactic?
I think there are ... So.
Ten!
Three, two, one, away from your towers!
- No, Annika!
- No! No!
Widely different
architectural approaches.
The trampling on the
stage floor does not help.
We measure the height of the tower when
the 100 seconds have passed. Mark Le Fêvre?
- Can we get some points distributed?
- There is a single point for Habane.
There are two points for Annika.
Three points for you, Jakob Thrane.
Four points for you, Neel Rønholt.
The winner is Anders Breinholt.
But who won tonight's program
and the right to -
- to cut a hair whip by Jakob Thrane,
if one chooses to do so?
Well ... Jakob has it.
Congratulations, Jakob!
Find your scissors!
- Will he choose to cut?
- Who knows.
- Now.
- Is it coming off?
I think we keep the hair whip.
What a choice! What a choice!
Well then there is
only one thing to say.
It's something I once heard from
Krølle Bølle [cartoon troll]. He said:
"Thanks for tonight!"
Danish text: Tine Friis Kelstrup
Danish Video Text
"Write the best lyrics
to Stormester's title theme."
"Perform your lyrics
in the most iconic way."
"You have 20 minutes.
Time starts now."
All right.
A large house and a garden.
These were the ingredients
the Taskmaster used-
-to create the perfect TV show.
Then a bald person smoked inside.
This was how the Taskmaster
created the most important program.
Good evening. Welcome to Stormester.
My name is Lasse Rimmer.
I am the Taskmaster and
a first-class gentleman.
I rule over the opus historians
will christen "season 4".
Tasks have been solved.
The adventurers are: Anders Breinholt.
Neel Rønholt.
Mahamad Habane.
Annika Aakjær.
And Jakob Thrane.
And here I am sitting next to
my obedient assistant, Mark Le Fêvre.
If you're not good at French:
Le Fêvre means solitaire.
- No.
- I'm pretty sure of that.
Mahamad, thanks for the song,
if you can call it that.
- No, man. Haven't you ...
- I haven't had experience.
That's what you need Koda for.
And that's a world premiere.
That's 13,500. [~US$2,164]
Can one get a lot of money
to remove it from all platforms?
People will pay to have it removed.
I have sung too much on this program.
- You're a little ahead of the beat.
- This was cooler.
If I were the X Factor judge,
you would have moved on.
Now you say ahead of the beat.
I think, Mahamad -
- you sing like a guy
who is parked illegally.
Thank you so much for the song.
I don't know if it's comforting
for the rest of you -
- but there are no points for that.
- What are we playing for tonight?
- A personal item.
The person who brought the prize
is you, Jakob Thrane.
I have brought a ...
I've brought a pair of scissors.
The winner gets the honor of cutting ...
- No, Mark, you must win it!
- What ...
If I win it, I'll give it to you.
- I'll probably sew it on you.
- Thank you very much.
You could have it spread all over.
You can feel you're ready to take advantage -
- that Mark cannot disqualify
or give zero points.
It was hard. Mark, don't be upset.
Extensions require that
you already have hair.
Yes, then let's have fun.
Mark Le Fêvre, let's get started
with tonight's program.
Do you want to start with a task
that only Habane has solved?
No!
There aren't any more of those.
There's one here that
everyone's solved. Pardon.
No, shit, man.
No!
- Are they Jehovah's Witnesses?
- Mark Le Fêvre's trash can! Yes.
- Shall we look inside?
- It's empty.
No, there's nothing in it. Oh! Oh.
They saved it.
"Throw something into the trash can
from the longest distance."
"The trash can lid must be ..."
"The trash can lid must be closed
when you throw your stuff."
What? It must be closed?
When I throw something,
it has to be closed.
"The thing thrown from
the farthest distance wins."
"Mark must not open the lid."
- "You have 20 minutes."
- "Time starts now."
How do I get it open?
I need string.
That sounds difficult. Who should we
see try to solve the task first?
We need Anders Breinholt,
who is ready with ropes -
- and Annika prepared with
a bit from Mark Le Fêvre.
It doesn't have to be a single throw.
We can run around where I throw
to you and you throw to me.
Like in basketball, where I
eventually throw it in.
Now we're trying something.
Now I think ...
We don't have to run around.
We can throw back and forth.
We can stand and throw without
losing it for 100 years.
... 11, 12, 13, 14 ...
... 32, 33, 34, 35 ...
- Underhand throw!
- Pardon.
... 71, 72 ...
... 133, 134, 135 ...
Shut up, how would that be so nice.
No! No! Little pig!
Damn it!
... 246. No!
I'm going crazy!
Well. It's just to complete the task.
Then it's just ...
- I can't find out.
- 15, 16, 17, 18.
- It must not go wrong.
- Five seconds! Three seconds!
Okay, okay.
Yes. That wasn't very smart, Anders.
See you, Mark. Beware.
There are nails in that one.
- That ball was thrown short!
- Yes yes!
There was a bad mood
after the task was solved.
We see how the scoring is,
how bad the mood is.
- Why should you have many?
- Then it counts.
That's the distance!
We had thrown over 200 times.
How long is once?
It was two and a half meters.
It's a lot of piss!
Sure.
That way of thinking, Annika, means -
- that anyone who
has touched a football -
- in a match, gets credit
for all the scores.
Yes, it's a team effort.
It's also: "We won!"
The goal scorer is not all 22 players!
The goal scorer is the
last to kick the ball.
Now it's not football.
It's a completely different task.
What you're doing is metaphorically
incorrect, Lasse.
I'm trying to comfort you.
If you were right in your theory -
- that every meter the ball
is thrown counts -
- would you fret over the
245 throws before he fucks up?
- It's her who throws short!
- You're short enough!
- Oh well!
- You should have longer arms!
I've said that for a long time.
It doesn't matter.
After the 246 throws we would have measured
the distance from the last pass.
It's one throw.
It says so in the task.
This means that we can
look at how Anders stands -
- and whips himself to a better effort.
The idea was not stupid.
There were eight meters of rope.
It could have been extended.
There was no reason for that.
Then I will ask Mark how
the two participants did.
Yes, Annika, it was a throw
of 40 centimeters.
Yes.
So!
Anders, you managed to get
a full 142 centimeters.
One must keep in mind that the
Taskmaster approves these two trials.
It's important to get on the board.
The lid was closed. You opened
the lid before hitting -
- with, for example, a ball.
The rules are followed.
If you like rules being followed.
Well, then you will be disappointed.
Yes, Neel and Habane.
Don't open the bin.
I can do it myself.
If I do this ...
- So.
- Did you destroy it?
It works fine.
It says the lid should be closed
when I throw my stuff.
My plan is to throw my things away,
put something on the bin, -
- go up, and then I throw
something down in the trash.
I have to throw something into it.
Longest distance.
One, two, three.
- I threw one thing.
- Yes.
Good, and it was closed when I threw.
Now it's very open.
So.
Now, now, now.
Short arms!
- It was from up here.
- Not entirely on television.
It's not in the trash!
I have a little question.
Did anything say that the lid
must be closed when you threw?
The rubbish bin lid must
be closed when you ...
Yes.
Solve the task first.
Read it afterwards.
Your solution does not
comply with the rules.
No. I have to finish the task
for the next time.
- Neel?
- Yes.
"I just have to throw one thing
and hit with another."
- I don't understand what's going on.
- "Throw a thing."
- Yes. Yes. Exactly.
- You're never satisfied.
It says "throw a thing", I threw
a thing. Is he satisfied?
You say, "Pick up my daughter, come
home with someone else's son."
- You can't do that!
- May I say something?
It strikes me that I have used the
same trash can as Habane.
That was why the lid would not open.
Otherwise it would have worked perfectly.
It was a bad prop for the task.
You didn't recycle bins, did you?
Then it has nothing on it.
I saw a light on the horizon.
- You're in the front right now!
- That's right, too.
He's not used to it.
Neel, you throw one thing while
the lid was not closed.
It was closed.
Not the thing you hit the trash with.
Coming home with someone else's
son gives a bad mood.
What can I do other than say
better luck next time.
Thank you, but it's yourself
you're talking to.
- Then we are missing a participant.
- We are missing Jakob Thrane.
If you have followed the program
a bit, you will know -
- that Thrane has not fared so well.
What do you mean?
It's how you look at it.
There is a "but".
A tiny little "but".
"The trash can lid must be closed
when you throw your stuff."
Do we have any tools?
Now look there. So.
We're going over there.
I just need to get some balls.
Okay.
Beautiful! Farther. Farther!
Come on, Mark!
- Mark!
- It went in!
So!
Jakob!
- I came to pat myself.
- I would've done the same.
Do you realize what you
could have driven it to?
How bad have I been? Jesus Christ!
This is ...
We cut you out of all programs and
show it here on all tasks.
- It's an exceptionally good solution.
- Thanks. Can we stick to it?
The only thing left is that
we get a points distribution.
Fine. Zero points for Habane
and Neel. Disqualified.
Three points for Annika.
It was a throw of 40 centimeters.
Four points for Anders
with a throw of 142 centimeters.
And Jakob the "Phoenix Bird" Thrane -
- got a throw of 4,340 centimeters.
Let's proceed. What now?
We're going to a task.
It's something with drawing and dots.
Or as one of the participants
said, "It looks tiring."
- Hi, Mark.
- Hi Jakob.
So.
Goodness, goodness!
It looks tiring.
- "Make a big dot drawing."
- So it was a big one.
- "You need the poles ..."
- "Like your dots and the rope ..."
- "Like your line."
- "You have 20 minutes for the sticks."
"You have three minutes to the line."
"Easiest recognizable and most
ambitious dot drawing wins."
Oh! I can make such a drawing, which
was taught in primary school -
- where you make a 25, and
then you can tie them together.
Time starts now.
- You know what?
- No.
We're doing the Mona Lisa.
You have it on camera now.
Then I'd better do it.
Such a drawing, which was found
among the crusaders:
Draw a drawing dot to dot.
- Shall we see how it went?
- I've cut it all together.
Everything with poles and ropes.
Then we can see the results at the end.
Yes.
How hard it is for the arm.
Are you looking?
Beautiful!
And time's up.
Maybe you need to help me, Mark Le Fevre.
Do you mind taking the drum?
Then you just come with me.
Yes, please. Damn good.
Yes, please.
- Are you following?
- Yes, I'm coming now.
Gakkedigikkedigakkedigik.
That nose is fucking ingenious.
Come on, my friend.
Now I'm going down here.
Please drop the rope.
Now it's Christmas again, and now it's
Christmas again, and Christmas lasts until Mark!
I don't remember that!
- I can't remember!
- Can't remember the task?
I don't remember I did that there.
You sang: "Christmas lasts until Mark"?
[a riff on "Christmas lasts until Easter"]
- This is how we sing it at my house.
- There's a Christmas theme at stake.
We can see that.
Mark, how do we do this?
I have made an animation so that
the drawing comes into view.
- Are you looking forward already?
- Yes. There's nothing to be ashamed of.
Let's wait a bit. We start over
with you, Annika, for your Christmas ...
Yes. Yes. Something with
Christmas. Here it comes.
Okay. Oh, oh, oh, oh what?
What? What?
I can well understand you felt
like dancing around the tree.
Mark inspires me in all my art.
It is recognizable as a
Christmas tree because of the star.
- It's a good start.
- Now it's Habane.
It starts as the number 25,
and then it becomes something else.
What?
- Shut up, how big is that?
- I'm running fast.
What ...
- Explain the drawing.
- It's very simple.
You can then see your dog.
It's a dog with a cap on.
That's the ear. That's the eye.
The mouth. Nose. And then a cap.
That's what it is. That's it.
It is art.
- Now I'm just saying it directly.
- No! What are you saying?
One of the two criteria
is recognizability.
You weaken your case when you
have to explain what you've done.
If you have to explain art to people,
it's because they're not smart.
I'll need that quote in a moment.
I am pleased. Thank you, Annika.
- Do I have to see another one?
- Do you want to see Neel's?
I would like that.
- It looks complicated.
- What the hell is that?
Oh yeah. A castle. Okay. Relax.
- Is it a castle or a palace?
- It's a castle. A knight's castle.
Yes.
There are many geometric shapes.
I can see what it is.
Recognizability: maximum.
Ambition level ...
There I will say triangles,
squares, and pentagons.
- Do I have to see another one?
- You need to have the excuses ready.
If you don't understand
art, you're stupid.
- It starts very well.
- I understand it already now.
- Yes!
- Yes yes.
- I can see that.
- Do you want to hear what it is?
- Yes.
- Thanks. They can see it.
I can see that, too.
It's called "The Happy Rascal
with the Little Eyes".
There are the little eyes and the
crooked smile and the little nose.
The hair looks a bit like a ship.
There's a crane in Nordhavnen. [harbor]
Well, it's hair? I thought of it
as cat ears or a Batman cartoon.
I thought I had made a human face.
I can recognize facial features, whether
or not they belong to a human.
There is a certain recognizability.
We are missing one drawing.
It sounded like the most ambitious.
We are missing Thrane's Mona Lisa.
You forgot a rope in one eye.
It's a police sketch: "The man
who robbed the kiosk looks like this!"
- One to one!
- I can see it in the smile.
- You don't know ...
- The enigmatic smile.
Well done. One doesn't know
if she is happy or sad.
And the only one
who used all 66 poles -
- and the Mona Lisa
is over 30 meters high.
- So!
- It's gone well.
A little hair splendor
is missing. Yes, yes, yes.
What do I like best? Can I
see all five drawings?
There is no doubt there.
That's hard. Let's rank them.
We start with one point.
Anders, it will be for
the traffic-affected cat.
Habane, it's not so recognizable.
You get two points.
Three points to Neel for
a not-so-ambitious castle.
Then it stands between
Annika and Jakob Thrane.
Four points for Annika. The ambitions mean
there are five points for Jakob Thrane.
What's up with that?
Let's move on to
tonight's third task, Mark.
We have someone who can get your heart
rate up. Not that you need it. Like that.
It's a little shocking.
Ta ta da!
There you are, Mark.
Exciting. Exciting cases.
Wow!
I assume it's ...
Da da da da!
Wow.
What a surprise that it was a task.
"Make the most shocking revelation."
- "Most shocking revelation wins."
- "You have eight weeks."
It was not this one.
It could be wild to be a spy.
Then I had been that all along.
I have no skeletons in the closet.
Maybe a little child skeleton.
I could do some digging and
find all those tax millions.
- I have to find out.
- It's going to be shocking.
- It is well.
- You give me a shock!
In the best of all worlds,
I have to do this:
What? If successful,
there are top points.
Then I am shocked.
Where do we start, Mark?
We start with you, Habane.
What do you want to shock with?
Yes, well, prepare to say, "What?"
Over here, I have
a shocking revelation.
It wasn't much.
That's my health insurance card.
It says Mahamad there.
The problem is that's not my name.
So why does it say Mahamad?
When we came to Denmark,
my father misspelled my name.
My real name is Muhammad.
The problem ... Yes. I've given up.
Muhammad is an Arabic name. There
are many who call it that.
It is pronounced differently. It
is pronounced Mahamad in Somalia.
Like if Jakob's name was Jacob.
My dad spells the name
as he usually says it.
Up here is my date of birth:
031190, November 3rd.
That is also wrong.
It has nothing to do with my dad
pronouncing dates in a special way.
That's just very wrong.
He forgot when I was born.
The way I found out is fucked up.
I came to Denmark when I was seven
years old. I was kicked into 1st grade.
One day my teacher comes in and
checks the records and says:
"Mahamad, you have a birthday today."
And then I'm like,
'Shut up, how cool!'
We have no tradition of celebrating
a birthday in my family.
This was the first day I celebrated
a birthday. All the children sang:
"Today is Mahamad's birthday."
It was the coolest day of my life.
I said to my mother, "You'll never
guess what happened at school."
"I had a fucking birthday at school!"
And then ...
And then my mother says,
"No, you didn't."
I'm like, "I'm pretty sure
I had a birthday at school."
"I had a balloon!"
She's checking the papers -
- and looks at my health insurance
card: "Dad made a mistake."
She can see that. I say, "I'm just
saying tomorrow, that was a mistake."
We had just come to Denmark that year.
My mother is very paranoid.
What would happen to my father?
Can he be punished for it? She says
to eight-year-old little me ...
I know I was eight.
I had just had a birthday.
She says: "Mahamad, next year when
they sing the birthday song for you -
- just let them finish singing.
Otherwise, Dad's going to jail."
That's not a lie. Ten years,
my whole primary school -
- every single year a birthday
song was sung for me:
"Mahamad has a birthday, and he
has it, and it is not today."
Now I have said it
on nationwide television.
In a quarter of an hour,
my father will be picked up by the police.
- Thanks. Who's next?
- Anders Breinholt.
The unveiling was on Natholdet [late-night
show he hosts] a good while ago.
I had a visit from Casper Christensen.
[comedian, hosted Danish Deal or No Deal]
I mean, we have a clip
where the revelation comes out.
I have to say I need to be sterilized soon.
- I'm just going to ...
- Where to? So ...
It must be there.
That's the revelation. I have said
many things from my private life.
You can do that, but where
it will be a huge revelation -
- that is when others call
it a revelation or a big surprise.
"Anders Breinholt with wild
revelation: must be sterilized."
I don't know why they have chosen a picture
of Line Baun Danielsen. [journalist]
- Line Baun has to do it.
- Doesn't she look relieved?
- It's the big revelation.
- There's a pair of scissors you can win.
No, how exciting!
The winner will be allowed
to take this first.
There are hygiene rules.
Then we cut here afterwards.
- Is it you who does it?
- I can circumcise afterwards.
I'm ready.
We have received two revelations.
Can I have another one?
Yes, we jump on to a shocker
from you, Neel Rønholt.
I was very much looking
forward to this task -
- because I've always thought
I was such a bit of an ...
... exciting person.
Actor. One with the other.
I was going to dig.
What shocking stories
have I taken with me?
It was a slightly different journey
I embarked on than I had hoped.
I have no shocking stories in my luggage.
No shocking acquaintances or secrets.
But I found a site called
gennemsnitsdanskeren.dk. [Average
Denmark, real, but not the real URL]
It was shocking reading.
The last time I was
traveling was to Mallorca.
I love Spain just
like the average Dane.
I moved away from home when I
was 20. The average Dane does.
It was in August, when most Danes
move away from home.
I had my first child when I was 29.5
years old. 29.1 is the average.
Alcohol is an essential part
of the average Dane's life.
It has not diminished since I
found gennemsnitsdanskeren.dk.
And then I had my trump card.
I can burp on command.
63.1% of Danes can do that.
I would be special if I couldn't.
Should one sit behind the screen
one day and need some statistics -
- which is not on Statistics Denmark,
you can google me -
- and what comes up, you can say,
is the average Dane.
It's a real Neel.
It was so shocking that there
was nothing shocking.
You are shockingly average.
You're special, Neel.
You are good enough.
You are good enough.
We have been through shockingly
incorrectly named, sterilized -
- and averaged. Give me another shot.
You get one that has been anything
but average: Jakob Thrane.
Yes. I'm totally nervous.
But ...
I sit down straight.
I don't want to say so much.
I just want to say I've gone all in.
Then I really just want to
let it speak for itself.
- Oh no.
- No! No no no!
No! No!
- I still have more than you, Mark.
- No, it was ...
Try to see him from behind!
Turn around, Jakob!
- No no no!
- What a beautiful wreath!
No, damn it! Now you
update your Tinder profile.
It must be tonight. No, how nice.
- You're ...
- Shut up!
People ask me why I don't let it grow.
I've hidden my hair in a bag.
Then you can have it.
- We can spread it beyond.
- I got a hairstyle shock.
I can figure out there's one left.
It's not settled.
We're missing you, Annika.
Yes.
It's hard to top that. Well done.
I'm told I want to do digging journalism.
Do you know Jodel? [anonymous-talk app]
- Oh no!
- I've spent eight weeks on there.
That's longer than those who want to know
why Citybois [pop duo] have broken up.
It's been a long time, and I've
summarized what I've found -
- which I brought with me today.
I'm just going to get something.
I made a song about Jodel.
You must know -
- that when playing
something on a ukulele -
- it doesn't matter what you say.
Then it doesn't hurt as much.
I just want to say this first.
I'm singing this song for you.
It was my friend Jesper who asked me:
"Do you know Jodel?"
And I answered no.
"It's a terrible place,
you must never go there."
Four seconds later, I
had downloaded the app.
And it was summer
and Saint John's Eve, -
and I completely fell for a thread
about Dancing with the Stars.
I completely disappeared in Saszeline
[Sørensen, singer]'s corona theory.
Jodeleihi! Jodeleiho!
I didn't find a single thread
that said Lasse is smart.
Jodeleihi! Jodeleiho!
Well, there was no dirt
about Lasse's IQ.
And I peeled and peeled, and
suddenly there it was.
There was a damn thread
about Annika Aakjær.
Someone wanted to know
if she's into boys or girls.
One wrote: "She's a lesbian, because
that's the vibe she gives."
Jodeleihi! Jodeleiho!
But I still found no
threads that Lasse is smart.
Jodeleihi! Jodeleiho!
No, not about your fucking IQ.
There are actually also
some threads about Anders B.
But I'll only mention the one
that you wear diapers.
Neel, is there going to be a "Tinka 3"?
[TV show she's on] Jodel already broke it!
And Habane, he's on Tinder.
Thrane will run out to get
his phone to find you!
Jodeleihi! Jodeleiho!
There isn't a single thread
that Lasse is smart.
Jodeleihi! Jodeleiho!
There's no shit about your IQ.
And, Mark, you thought
I had forgotten you.
In fact, I just saved you.
At the very end,
how to talk over a verse -
- because it's getting really sad.
"What about Mark Le Fêvre? Was it in his
stomach that he did not get enough oxygen?"
"It's his head that's round and
because he's sweating wildly."
Jodeleihi! Jodeleiho!
I'll probably make a thread
about you being smart.
Jodeleihi! Jodeleiho!
I'll probably go in and write
to everyone about your IQ.
It is, if in doubt, a social
media site for cowards.
- That's it!
- It's shit on shit.
I've spent eight weeks
on there! Research!
Now we have just recruited 80 users:
"I have to check that too."
Try to hear. These were five revelations
that I had to digest.
Let me rank them.
It's nice to be average.
It can be shocking for oneself.
I'm surprised but not shocked.
- You thought ...
- It's going to be one point.
Yes, you know what? Thank you!
I give a few points to Breinholt.
I watch Natholdet.
It was a thing that
exploded like wildfire.
Some people think: "Shouldn't more
be put in the world by it ..."
So pale and red-haired children.
But it doesn't have to be that way.
I'll do it. I practice
a lot at the moment.
The least shocking thing is
that no one cares if I'm smart.
The rest of the song I loved.
I give you three points.
Habane, you were in for five
points until that cap came off.
No one in here was untouched
by what turned up.
Four points to Habane.
Five points for Jakob Thrane.
Mark Le Fêvre, what does
the position look like?
It's crazy. Jakob Thrane has
15 out of 15 possible points.
Yes, yes!
Can we find time for one more task?
You know what's better than one task?
- Two tasks?
- Yes, that too.
I have one where there
are seven tasks in one task.
It is sevenfold joy and
gladness. May I have ...
- Of course you can.
- What is it?
- Hi, Mark.
- It's a complicated task.
It sounds something like
the Da Vinci mystery.
- That's the main task.
- This is the one I have to take first.
Well, it's a bit of a turnaround.
"Solve the seven tasks."
- There are eight envelopes.
- "When you touch a task ..."
- "You must complete it ..."
- "Before you can open the next one."
"Fastest to solve
all seven tasks wins."
- Time starts now.
- One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
- There is probably a good order.
- This one.
I'll start with this one. Okay.
Yes.
It's seven tasks in one task.
You choose the order yourself.
It's a free-for-all.
Who are we to see choose their own order?
It will be a little piece with
Anders Breinholt and Jakob Thrane.
The puzzle. It was lucky I hit it.
Build a tower of bricks. The tower must
be more than one and a half meters high -
- and remain standing during
the rest of the task.
That was the task.
So! Ow, my back.
"Take it apart again. Save the
pieces around the garden."
Into the thistles. Then Anders Breinholt
will take them out again in a little while.
"Assemble the puzzle." Now look there.
What does it say here? "Throw the yoga ball
so that it overturns at least one cone."
"You have to throw the ball from behind
the red rope." Where's the rope?
Where's the rope, man? Ah!
"Put the wheelbarrow into Mark's house."
"The wheelbarrow should stay there
for the rest of the task."
There must be running.
"Put 20 things in the wheelbarrow
that are bigger than a tennis ball."
"Build a tower from the bricks.
Should the tower topple over -
- you have to start over
from the first task."
One by one.
20!
Wherever I had built it, it had
been the same shit. Oh no!
Anders! Anders!
You're throwing bricks!
Then I have to start all over again.
We put together puzzles with Lasse Rimmer.
"Save all the puzzle pieces."
Then it's done.
So. "Put 20 things in the wheelbarrow."
10, 11, 20!
Then there is one task left.
- "Place one hand on your hip."
- "Keep it there during the task."
"If your hand leaves the hip, start
over from the first task."
I'm done.
Would it have been tiring
if you had chosen that first?
I can't imagine that.
Then I wouldn't be here.
So ...
I can see ... The four
are smarter than I am.
- The carpet up where there is a plant.
- You haven't seen the rest of us ...
- No, that's fair enough.
- Thank you for the rose.
Well, but yes.
- Your order seems straightforward.
- It was more luck than sense.
The order, Mark, has a pretty
straightforward influence.
There is free choice. If you go
clockwise, the order is as follows:
Puzzles, save pieces, wheelbarrow in house,
20 things in wheelbarrow, -
- overturn cone, build tower, hand
on hip. You can take it first.
Then I would say that the rest of
the experience becomes tiring.
Here come Habane and Annika.
Then we take this one here.
"Place a hand ..."
"On your hip. Keep it
there during the task."
I'm right-handed. It was because
I was still reading the task.
"Build a tower out of bricks." These
are slaves, I must not use two hands.
- How high is it now?
- Assemble the puzzle.
I can't ... Should I use my
left hand the rest of the time?
Okay. It's already a little shaky.
I have to move it a bit.
It's going to fall.
There!
- Please, man!
- Now I just hope ...
Stay! It's like a dog.
Like that. I can ... Like that.
Yes.
"Save all the puzzle pieces
around the garden."
"Build a tower out of bricks."
One and a half meters is like that.
20!
How stupid it is,
I took my left hand!
"Throw the yoga ball so that
it overturns at least one cone."
Yes! How wild!
"Save all the puzzle pieces around."
"Put 20 things in the wheelbarrow."
These are the last things.
"Throw the ball so that
it overturns a cone."
It doesn't say where
the cone should stand.
- I'm done.
- So. I'm done!
Habane, is this your first time
putting together a puzzle?
Almost actually. I tried when
there was a lockdown.
It was popular.
I couldn't figure that out.
Habane spent a little more than
a quarter of an hour assembling it.
We simply didn't have puzzles
at home to play with.
You can laugh about that today.
- Annika, you're fighting with that tower.
- Yes.
It's a simple tower, but it
took Annika 25 minutes.
To build a tower. Which
in turn remained standing.
- How did the participants do?
- It's surprisingly close.
With 34 minutes and 46 seconds,
we have Annika -
- where 25 of them were on a tower.
At the other end we have
Thrane flying through -
- in 23 minutes and 34 seconds.
Then it gets close. Anders and Habane,
only 14 seconds separate you.
The faster is the one-armed Habane.
He completed all seven tasks
in 31 minutes and 41 seconds.
31? 31 minutes? I spent half
the time on the puzzle.
Yes.
- Cool.
- I spent 23 minutes on that tower.
You accomplished six of the seven tasks
with one hand in about a quarter of an hour.
It has gone very well.
We are still missing one participant.
Why do you have ...
"Assemble the whole puzzle."
Ear. So. Then I have to move on
to the next task.
"Place one of your hands ..."
"Build a tower of bricks
on the red carpet."
So. Now it's there.
"Throw the yoga ball so that it
overturns at least one of the cones."
No! Yes! So.
"Put 20 things in the wheelbarrow."
One, two, three ...
If they spill out,
I have to start over.
Eh.
"Put this wheelbarrow into Mark's house."
I got an idea for her Nille,
who I play in the Christmas calendar -
- she was going to fall in love
with someone in the world of elves.
I couldn't figure out who was
going to play that pixie.
I want it to be someone who ...
Can I ask something?
Do you need help?
I want you to drive the
wheelbarrow into your house.
You are so nice. Thanks. The one who is
going to play Santa must be able to take hold.
Yes, that's a good idea.
It would suit such a series.
- Maybe I should suggest you.
- I hadn't thought of that.
"Save all the puzzle pieces
around the garden."
- Now I've saved them.
- Are there more tasks?
- No.
- Well, perfect.
It was okay.
Haven't they called yet?
They are still sitting and ...
- I must not say anything.
- It can come at any time.
Yes, it can!
Now there is another candidate
for the same role.
I still have some hair on the sides.
That must count.
It would be exciting to see Nille
fall in love with a child molester.
I think, "You need to meet
your new dad."
TV 2 never approves of you.
It's hard to get you through
the approval process.
She solved seven tasks in just
22 minutes and seven seconds.
It's alright! It's nice!
Well, I have a feeling that before
the last task of the evening -
- someone stands in a unique
position. Who leads?
He leads impressively, and his name
is Jakob Thrane.
Wow!
It's also Jakob Thrane's own hair
whip and scissors that are at stake.
Let’s see how it ends in the final
task tonight, here on stage.
Only a single task is missing tonight.
- Jakob Thrane.
- Thank you.
"Build the tallest tower of potatoes.
Your tower must be free-standing."
"The tower stands on the table and is measured
from the table top to the highest point."
"You have 100 seconds."
A tower of potatoes.
The tallest tower wins.
You have 100 seconds. Time starts now.
- What is this?
- I'm taking this damn thing.
Okay. This is great.
Where there are many.
This isn't a trap where some
of this is not potato, right?
So this is not a potato.
- Down. It's a little clammy.
- Is there a tactic?
I think there are ... So.
Ten!
Three, two, one, away from your towers!
- No, Annika!
- No! No!
Widely different
architectural approaches.
The trampling on the
stage floor does not help.
We measure the height of the tower when
the 100 seconds have passed. Mark Le Fêvre?
- Can we get some points distributed?
- There is a single point for Habane.
There are two points for Annika.
Three points for you, Jakob Thrane.
Four points for you, Neel Rønholt.
The winner is Anders Breinholt.
But who won tonight's program
and the right to -
- to cut a hair whip by Jakob Thrane,
if one chooses to do so?
Well ... Jakob has it.
Congratulations, Jakob!
Find your scissors!
- Will he choose to cut?
- Who knows.
- Now.
- Is it coming off?
I think we keep the hair whip.
What a choice! What a choice!
Well then there is
only one thing to say.
It's something I once heard from
Krølle Bølle [cartoon troll]. He said:
"Thanks for tonight!"
Danish text: Tine Friis Kelstrup
Danish Video Text