Still the King (2016–2017): Season 1, Episode 8 - Mother Trucker - full transcript

Previously on "Still The King"...

Vernon Burning Brown.

I opened for you, now
you're trying to sneak

into my sold-out massive arena show.

Man, that's rich... like me.

What you got going on?

Man, I just wanna get back
to the real me, my music.

I'm not trying to make you
biggest star in country music.

I'm trying to make you the
biggest star in the world.

- What the hell?
- You said I could trust you.

I think we can take the money
from other investors to pay him,



and then he'll tell his friends,
and then they'll invest, and

then no one will really know
where the money comes from.

- Mm.
- Is that bad?

Normally, I'd say yes.

My name is Ronnie.

Not this guy.

There, that's me.

Just leased this baby.

Last week, I made $940,
which really pissed me off.

Because it was only
$9,060 short of 5 figures.

Give her a bath and a hot rubdown.

No, no, my jacket was white,

like Don Johnson in "Miami Vice."

I work hard, I play hard.



And I demand a lot of respect.

Wow.

You have really come up quickly.

So, like I was saying 30 minutes ago,

this sink here is all fixed.

And I gotta get going.

That guy's either a calculated genius

or a [bleep] moron.

Jim, language.

No, no, Ronnie,

he's definitely our guy.

Can you get that, Deb?

I'm working on this thing here...

Got a rabbit on the run here.

Greetings and salutations.

- I'm Crazy Dave.
- It's for you.

Hey, Dave, what are you doing here?

Oh.

Vernon Brown,

you have been
hand-selected to be shadowed

by one of the great
thespians of this generation.

Not since Brando...

Surprise, surprise, surprise!

Great job, Dave.

Next time, let's just cut
that down a little bit, buddy.

Trayne, what are you doing here?

I'm doing you.

I'm playing Vernon Brown in the movie.

What the hell are you talking about?

You didn't hear?

CMT's a movie of the week about you.

Well, by God, it's about time
they honored me for my music.

They ain't doing nothing
about your music, man.

It's about you scamming that
church, being a deadbeat dad.

I didn't give anybody permission

to do anything with my life story.

It's an unauthorized biography, man.

They don't need permission.

Vernon, those things are
always sensationalized.

I mean, they're gonna make you
look like a horrible person.

Look what they did to poor Tori Spelling.

Who is this sweet little treasure?

Oh, that's Debbie. Charlotte's Mama.

How do we feel about
Debbie? What's our emotion?

Oh, well, Debbie, uh, she's cool.

I mean, even though
she's with another guy.

Uh, it doesn't bother me at all.

Hell, I don't even
think about it, you know?

It doesn't bother me.

Okay. So seeing her with another guy

makes you jealous,
but you can't admit it.

You're losing her, man.

- Tearing you up inside.
- That's one way of putting it.

Okay, okay, I got it. So we're an idiot.

Debbie... you look radiant.

Why thank you.

Now I think I like this
version of Vernon better.

Dave, why don't you
go wait in the chopper?

Really?

Permission to ride on the
inside this time, Captain?

Permission denied, Private.

Now, Vern, as a singer...
I put the switch.

Go right into entertainment mode.

But as an actor, I am

method, man.

Gotta feel it, gotta see it.

I gotta hear it, smell it, taste it.

What is that?

I gotta get right up into that
headspace of failure of yours.

So I'm gonna have to
follow you around for a day,

do some character research.

Not gonna be in the way.

Just a fly on the wall.

Not gonna happen, Trayne.

I thought you might say that.

That's why I got... 1400 big ones

with your name on it.

Say half now, half later?

- That changes things.
- That changes things.

What are you doing with your mouth?

Oh, what are you doing with your mouth?

No, the...

- That's weird.
- That's weird.

- You're freaking me out.
- You're freaking me out.

- Stop doing that.
- Stop doing that.

Where are you headed, young lady?

Oh, hold on. I have a note.

Orthodontist appointment.

Mm, if I call this number,
your mom will answer?

Yeah, of course.

Uh, I... I think I grabbed

my mom's phone by accident.

Come with me.

When are you taking that stuff off, man?

You're starting to creep me out.

When I crawl into character Pacino style,

I don't escape until
the director says, "Cut!"

Listen, man, I only got
a couple hours in here,

I'm really gonna need you
to be that fly on the wall.

Fly on the wall. Buzz.

So I was like, "Sure, I'm your preacher."

So I grabbed a big, old
pile of cash from the coffer

and took off in a stolen
bread truck full of hookers.

You sound just like Vernon.

Not how that went, but nobody cares.

Alright, sorry about that, Courtney.

I know we're on a time crunch,
buddy, let's get it going.

Man, are you kidding me? That was great.

Trayne has over 10
million Twitter followers.

So we wrote the song about
Debbie, yet we haven't told her

about it or played it for her.

This character makes no sense.

Oh, okay, speaking of not making sense,

how 'bout you getting
behind the console, okay?

If we can knock this out, I
can get to lecture on aliens

- I was telling you about.
- What is Walt?

- Like a sidekick?
- Hey, I'm no sidekick.

Vernon's friend.

Somebody who's around as a
confidant in case he wants

to voice his innermost feelings.

Yeah, right.

Fly on the wall.

Okay, everybody, let's do it
just like we rehearsed it, okay?

- Courtney, let's roll one.
- Okay, we are now rolling.

Two, three, four, five.

♪ If I never see your smile again ♪

I don't mean to interrupt...

Good, then here we go.

Well, I think if you
cut out that intro, bang,

you can jump right in faster.

It's just a suggestion.

We're not doing that.

Come on, let's do it
like we rehearsed, okay?

Everybody, ready? One, two, three.

Man, when you're right,
you're right, Vern.

It's better that way.

Fly on the wall.

Are you done now?

You sure?

Okay, come on. One more time.

Let's lay it down.

Ready, Courtney, hit it, rolling.

Three, four, yeah.

Uh, it's just toying
with my mind right now.

Let me show ya. Try it like this.

♪ Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ♪

♪ Cluck, cluck, blah, blah, blah ♪

Yeah, it's less melancholy.

It's more driving.

Great suggestion, T.

Call me, Vernon.

Great suggestion, Vernon.

Hell no.

Hey, wait, Vernon. Where are you going?

Smoke break.

Okay, guys, take ten.

Hi there. Mind if we join you?

Sorry, fellas, Ronnie only eats alone.

That's why I bought
out the whole Hibachi.

Bosho, dog me.

Nice catch. Real impressive.

Hey, can you teach me that trick?

If you're gonna hover over me,

you might as well watch and learn.

Great, so, um, my name's Gene.

That's Jim.

Why do you always feel
the need to introduce me?

I'm a grown man. I can introduce myself.

Because, Jim, you never do.

Hi, I'm Jim. Happy?

Uh... hi.

Oooh!

This place is not cheap.

How can you afford to order off-menu?

Well, I'm a trader.

Brokering trades, stock, bonds.

Honestly, I hate Teppanyaki,

but Bosho here makes
the best burger in town.

You gotta be pretty smart
to do work like that.

Well, don't wanna brag on myself.

But people are starting to take notice.

Let's say I wanted to invest.

Uh.

What would you tell me to buy?

That's TMI, guy.

TMI?

We haven't said anything yet.

No.

Trident Marina Investments, TMI.

It's Coy's company.

He's the boss.

Anything he touches turns to pure cash.

It almost sounds too good to be true.

That's what I tell my investors.

So, uh, Ronnie,

why don't you tell me a
little bit more about this

Coy?

♪ If I never see your smile again ♪

♪ Never once touch your skin ♪

Oh, hell no. Huh-uh.

This ain't working.

What the hell are you doing?

Hey, man, what are you
doing? I was hitting a groove.

Did you hear that?

Real groovy, now take a hike!

Whoa, whoa, wait, wait.

It actually really did sound pretty good.

I mean, we could just drop
his vocal behind yours.

Or out in front where it belongs.

What are you talking about, Courtney?

I told you, man, I wrote this song.

- It's real personal to me.
- I know.

I'm sorry, man.

I hear music, it just
gets my juices flowing.

I was thinking about this, Vern.

I was thinking, we could
take this same beat,

put in some island drums,

turn it into a song for your next album.

I bet you I could get
Chesney to sing a verse.

Are you serious?

Hey, man, let's take
this back from the top.

Hell no.

Wait, where are you going? This is good.

Get that, get that, get that.

Let's take it back from the top.

No, no, no, man. Now hang on.

Are you here as an
actor or as a musician?

I don't know now, I'm confused.

Well, get back out of the way, man.

Come on, let's pick up where we was at.

We don't have time for
anymore distractions.

That's it.

Did somebody order a pizza party?

Huh, huh?

Trayne Crowstown?

Wow, I'm a huge fan.

My ex-wife Cynthia and I used
to make so much sweet love

- to your album.
- Not now, Doily.

We're in a real time crunch here.

Hey, how do we feel about this Doily?

Hey, hold on, excuse me.

- Hey, Deb.
- What you got here?

Your pepperoni.

And shrimp and pesto.

You keep that shrimp
away from me, alright?

I got terrible allergies,
and I'm gonna swell up

like that purple girl from "Willy Wonka."

Same thing that happened to my aunt.

I had to give her an
emergency tracheotomy

with a ballpoint pen.

It was awesome.

Debbie, not now. I'm really busy, okay?

But I think you got this.

Oh, something's up.

Come on, give me, give me. What is it?

Charlotte's in trouble at school,

and they wanna have a
parent-teacher conference.

Told Deb I think she
can handle it by herself.

Okay, okay, I'm tracking this.

So we should be more involved
in our daughter's life,

but we push the more
serious stuff onto Debbie.

Am I right?

Oh hell. I gotta go, y'all.

We'll have to finish this another time.

Hey, Vernon, does that mean I can go

to my antediluvian alien conference?

- Yeah, go ahead, and go.
- Oh, asking permission?

Now that's a total sidekick move.

- No, it's not.
- It is to.

- It's not.
- What is this?

Sidekick.

Oh my God. Thanks, Vern.

The pyramids were built
nowhere near any source

of the stone blocks. Facts.

It's impossible to
[unintelligible]. Fact.

The pyramids were built
by extraterrestrial beings.

Fact.

Not humans using primitive tools.

Isn't there evidence
that the tools discovered

were in fact not primitive?

Potentially utilizing focused
resin sound frequencies,

rending the stones weightless?

Ladies and gentlemen,
this young lady believes

that humans built the pyramids

using primitive tools.

Well, the same principles were
used in other secret sites,

such as Stonehenge, Easter
Island, even world...

You're still talking, hmm?

She's right.

Oh, look, there's another one.

You folks are aware that
this isn't a Q&A, right?

All those sacred sites
have one thing in common.

The stone being used is made
of a crystalline structure.

Quartz, limestone...

And this one's talking gibberish. Mm.

Okay, let me put it in
laymen's terms for you.

When resident vibrational
frequencies are applied

to crystalline structure,
physicists have theorized that

their core physical
properties can be manipulated.

Even their relationship
to gravitational waves.

It's basic Tesla with a dash of
neonetonial quantum wave theory.

So how are we gonna play this?

Are we mad at teacher for
messing up our studio time?

Or concerned with the
nature of the meeting?

Does he really have to be here?

Trust me, nobody wants the
son bitch gone more than me,

but he's paying me.

Thank you for coming in today.

I wanna discuss some issues
Charlotte's been having.

I have to be honest,
Ms. Hammon, I didn't know

she was having any problems.

See, I think I can relate, Ma'am.

'Cause I never was that great at school.

I actually learned most
everything I ever knew on tour.

Not helping.

Not how I would have played it.

We're such a flawed character.

Mrs. Cooke, I'm assuming
you didn't write these notes.

No.

But it is strikingly
similar to my handwriting.

You wanna explain these?

Charlotte has filled me in
about your situation at home.

I take it these are the possible fathers?

No.

He's shadowing him
for... it's a long story.

Fly on a wall.

Well, is there possibly some
extra credit she could do

or something she could...
test she could make up?

Can I jump in here?

I don't wanna intervene,

but these are very trying
times for a teenager.

Especially one from a hectic
household like young Charlotte...

You don't know anything
about our family, Trayne.

Well, I know that Debbie
has the very best intentions.

Hell, Vernon probably does, too.

But there's a bigger picture.

Let me explain.

Can't wait.

This outta be good.

The speed at which change happens

is increasing rapidly in our lifetime.

And because of this,
generational wisdom advice

can no longer be about everyday things.

Let's keep to broader topics
like mortality and empathy

instead of trying to relate

about texting and social climates.

What a load of crap.

So what you're saying is
the root of our experience

is no longer relevant
to today's children.

Add that with the new baby
with multiple fathers...

Excuse me, it's not multiple fathers.

Okay, it's only two.

I mean, only one of
the two is the father.

This is what I am dealing with.

I'm surprised you're
doing as well as you.

Sometimes, uh, I really wanna

study, but it's really hard

to find a quiet place around the house.

A quiet place?

Charlotte, I work most nights.

I mean, you have the whole house...

Come and see me during your lunch.

We can work through your
missed assignments together.

Thank you so much.

I really do appreciate it.

I guess, in the end, I
just... really need someone

who like actually cares.

I know you guys have a hectic life.

But, please, don't let

this young lady down.

Yes, Ma'am.

As you know, it takes a village.

Uh, harder.

- Oh, yeah, harder, harder.
- Boss.

Hey, Ronnie. Come on
in, what's on your mind?

I met these super nice
guys at Chaci Hibachi.

Bosho!

The meat volcano, deliciouso.

Yeah, it's so good.

Anyway, they're asking lots
of questions about the company.

Pretty sure I can turn
them into investors.

Oh, well, good work.

Would you just grab me the Flex-All 454

- out of the drawer there?
- Alright.

They're asking about me, my job,
uh, all sorts of other stuff.

Um, they were even asking
about who runs the company

and other stallions.

Thank you, Greta. You can leave.

I need to know... exactly

what you told these guys.

Did I do something wrong, boss?

You know, I view this company

like my kingdom.

I am the king!

Oh, it's kinda like that
boobs and dragon show on HBO.

It's exactly like that, Ronnie.

Oh. I mean, I didn't tell 'em anything.

I just told 'em about
the day-to-day operations

of the company and how you taught me

how to practically steal money.

I can't believe she
sold us out like that.

She and I are gonna have a
very long talk on the way home.

Don't go too hard on her, Deb.

I mean, she did manage to
turn that teacher around

and stay out of trouble.

Vernon, that's not something
we should be proud of.

Let me get this right.

So we're "let's be friends" parents.

The kind that want all kids
to get participation medals.

Got it.

Okay, no wonder
Charlotte' all screwed up.

I'm done with this.

Now hold on here, Chief.

You don't have no right
to talk about my daughter.

Besides, this day's about over.

How 'bout you turn over
the rest of that cash?

Well, Vernon... this
has been very helpful.

I appreciate it. Thank you.

But I feel like you're
still hiding from me.

Come on, Vern. Let me in there.

Let me park my brand-new 2017 Lambo

in that empty single-car garage of yours.

Oh, I've let you in the garage, son.

But you ain't had a tour
of the dark attic yet.

What are you saying to me?

I'm saying you don't know Vernon Brown

until you know his darkness.

You will truly never know Vernon Brown

until you've broken the law.

I hope to hell you're being serious,

'cause I freaking love this idea.

What's the plan?

Well, if you were me, which you are,

I would march into
that market right there

and take everything there
is out of the register.

- Give me a gun.
- You don't need no gun, man.

Just put your hand in your pocket.

Come on, you're an actor.

I'm doing this.

Uh, yeah, I'd like to report a robbery

at the Wedgehill Market.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, white male, blue shirt,
bit overweight, cool style,

but obviously trying too hard.

Okay, thank you very much.

Dumb son of a bitch.

Whoo-hoo! I got it! I got it!

Get out of the car now!

Get out of the car!

Let me see your hands!

Hands on the car!

Yeah, looks like we got him.
Matches the description exactly.

- Like hell it does.
- Shut up.

Oh, yeah, definitely our guy.

He still has the cash on him.

It's not me. Trayne's the one you want.

- Shut up!
- Yes, Ma'am.

The look on his pompous face was amazing.

You were incredible.

Well... probably enjoyed
that more than I should have.

Thank you for sticking up for me.

It meant a lot.

UTI looks out for their own.

Membership has its privileges.

Hey, are you hungry?

Um, there's a great
Teppanyaki place nearby

that I know about.

That would be a perfect
end to a great day.

Cool.

After you.

- Oh, I feel like a princess.
- Princess Leia.

I don't follow the royal family.

I'm teasing.

"Return of the Jedi's" in my top three.

Of course, "Empire" and
"New Hope" being one and two,

respectively.

Thank God.

I never needed a drink so bad in my life.

Thanks for picking me up.

I can't believe you talked
him into robbing that store.

Yeah, I'll tell you the truth.

I was just lucky Trayne had some friends

down at the police department
to explain us out of it.

Now I know where Charlotte gets it.

You know, I've just been
so focused on this baby,

I haven't been paying
her enough attention.

Well, I could pitch in
and pick up the slack.

I mean, seems like the least I could do.

You growing my baby and all.

Still don't know if it's yours.

Well, I know one thing.

Trayne was right.

Pregnant looks good on you.

Yeah.

You know, I think you make
a much better version of you

than Trayne does.

You make me a better version of me.

That's the sappiest [bleep] I ever heard.

♪ If I never see your smile again ♪

♪ Never want to touch your skin ♪

♪ Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ♪

♪ Cluck, cluck, blah, blah, blah, blah ♪