Still the King (2016–2017): Season 1, Episode 12 - Only the Lonely - full transcript

Vernon hits an all-new low after disappointing everyone close to him. Debbie thinks she's got the Pool and Spa Depot Girl job in the bag... only to find out she has some fierce competition.

Last time on "Still The King"...

You ever get caught pretending
to be someone you're not?

- Ronnie?
- Ronnie?

I'm Vernon Brown, and I
always get center stage.

You are a handsome and powerful man.

We thought you blew up.

Yeah, I get that a lot.

We're not Hibachi guys.

We work for the SEC.

- We're after your boss.
- What?

Are you upset because Ronnie
proposed to your mama tonight?



What?

Did I do something wrong, boss?

I am the king.

Oh, it's kinda like that boobs
and dragon show on HBO.

It's exactly like that, Ronnie.

♪ Just like most love
stories in the world ♪

♪ It all started with a boy meets girl ♪

♪ He was country's bad
boy, he was on her list ♪

♪ But a one-night stand
turned into a tryst ♪

♪ And two became three, suddenly ♪

♪ This ragtag crew became a family ♪

♪ He knocked her up, not once but twice ♪

♪ A cheap but effective plot device ♪

♪ It's plot device ♪



♪ Her head keeps calling it just a fling ♪

♪ But her heart keeps saying ♪

♪ Heart keeps saying ♪

♪ He's still the king ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

- Hey, baby, I thought...
- Charlotte, have you seen my...

What are you guys doing?

Nothing.

- I was just getting some OJ.
- pastry strudel.

Excuse me, I'm just gonna...

My bad, I actually better
get moving anyway.

I got a meeting in a couple
of hours with Courtney.

Wait.

I'll just head on out.

Have a good day.

What?

Morning, ladies.

Why are you dressed for work?

Bad news, babe, Papa Bear's
gotta go into the old office.

Okay, Papa Bear cannot become a thing.

Ronnie, our rehearsal dinner's tonight.

I know. But trust me, there's
big things going down

at the office, and I need to be there.

I'm doing it for us. I promise
to be at Betty's by 6.

And I vow to never leave your
side for the rest of our lives,

even when you're in the bathroom.

Okay, maybe I should proof
your vows before tomorrow.

Whatever.

Papa Bear, out.

Can't wait for Papa Bear to hibernate.

I'll sleep when I'm dead.

Jim, put that away. We've got company.

I can see that, Gene. I've got eyes.

Alright, what do you want?

Turns out, Coy is an amoral,
hedonistic, omnisexual

gentleman of leisure.

Those are his words.

It's how he introduces himself to people.

Plus, he framed me.

Trident Marina is in my name,

and it's neither trident nor marina.

You had your chance.

You're just as guilty as Coy.

You're going down with the ship.

What? No. I'll do anything.

Seriously, anything.

Okay.

First, you're gonna have
to wear these cufflinks.

Cufflinks?

Leftie is the camera,
righty is a microphone.

Oh. Hey, Born. James Born.

Look, Coy needs to admit on
record that he framed you

by tomorrow, or you're
taking the fall alone.

Ooh, bit of a problemo, Haus.

I custom-tailor my shirts.

Uh, sleeves can't contain me.

No. No way.

It's not gonna happen.

You remember what happened last time?

He's your size.

So you just went from the
center of the vase outward

and just ground it with
the bigger flowers, okay?

Oh.

Very novice approach, Debbie.

The greenery, or filler as
you so cutely refer to it,

is actually the secret to
any balanced arrangement.

- Wow. Those are phenomenal.
- Yep.

My ex-wife Cynthia said my
crafty side was emasculating.

But I know that's not true.

That makes sense.

Okay, here are the rest of the place cards.

But are the seating
assignments really necessary?

Yes. So I don't get stuck
next to some lurky uncle

who keeps complimenting my earlobes.

I will quarantine Uncle
Fred at the end of the end.

Kaitlynn, I will put you next
to Ronnie's cousin, Tanner.

Confident with a great smile.

Just don't get him started on ATVs.

Mm, mommy likes.

He's allowed exclusive earlobe access.

Ladies, have you seen the baby's breath?

Sorry, Doily.

Charlotte, I'm gonna put you on my left,

across from Grandmother.

And then Vernon and I will sit here.

Uh, you mean Ronnie.

Yeah, that's what I said.

Ronnie and I will sit here.

Babe, you said Vernon.

That's crazy.

Why would I say Vernon?

That's rhetorical, right?

Ronnie, Vernon, okay, they both
have "ons" in their names,

and it gets confusing.

Really?

That's the defense you're gonna go with?

Mm-hmm, yeah, it is.

Exactly what I'm gonna go with, yep.

Uh, hey.

We're out of baby's breath, okay?

It's over! Call it off!

We're out of baby's breath!

It's no more! Anything no!

Ah, God, thank God!

That was close!

That was close.

Vernon, you are my favorite

soon-to-be back-on-top superstar.

I mean, you're the franchise, baby.

Man, if I was soon-to-be back-on-top,

when's my new single coming out?

Oh, tonight.

Tonight?

How's it coming out tonight?

It ain't even mixed yet.

Mixed.

It's been remixed.

Alright, rehearsal's up,

let's take it from the top.

♪ If you heard me coming to my right ♪

♪ I'd be forever wondering why ♪

♪ I never found my destiny ♪

♪ [unintelligible] ♪

♪ I wouldn't be me ♪

♪ I wouldn't be me ♪

♪ I wouldn't be me ♪

♪ I wouldn't be me ♪

♪ I wouldn't be me ♪

♪ Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me ♪

♪ I wouldn't be me ♪

The work of genius!

That sounds great,
everyone, let's take five.

It's crap.

I am gonna totally nail Artist of the Year!

Ohhh!

Con artist of the Year.

Hell, you stole my song.

Mm. Last I remember, we
practically wrote it together.

You blurted out a couple words.

I wrote the song for Debbie.

Well, I'm releasing it as
Regina's first single tonight,

immediately following her live performance

on my streaming service.

That's not gonna work for me, Haus.

That song's about me singing it to Debbie.

Okay, that's why you're
getting songwriting credit.

That means nothing to me if I
ain't singing it for Debbie.

Vern, this is a big payday for you.

The song is a hit.

It used to be a hit.

You turned it into a freaking freak show.

Okay, okay, look, it's a moot point.

You signed away

all your licensing rights to me months ago.

Like hell I did.

You didn't have your lawyer
look over the paperwork?

Yeah, the lawyer that you recommended.

Oh, right.

See this?

This proves that I own the song,

and I can do with it as I please.

That's bull!

No! My CDs!

Security! Security!

Could you please escort Mr. Vernon Brown

off the premises and make
sure he doesn't come back.

This ain't over, Courtney!

I made as much money off of you as I can,

so, yes, it is. It's pretty much over.

Now it's over!

I got it!

Ronnie.

Come join us in the sauna.

It's delightful.

- Isn't that right, Vance?
- Yeah.

Like ten hours into our hot
box detox, I feel great.

Let's go, two more hours.

Well, the cufflinks are out.

Damn.

Coy's good.

Maybe we can... what's he doing?

No.

He wouldn't shove that up...
oh, God, yes, he would.

I understand the microphone.

But why would he put the camera up there?

Oh hey, guys.

Oh, Ronnie.

Time for a pat down.

I'm just joking.

Who put a light on that thing?

You wanted lights on all the tech.

You know, I was a fool to get
tangled up with those agents.

But I want you to know, this
stallion is no one-trick pony.

Well, now that's good to know.

Because we were dreading having to shoot

our prized pony on the track.

Speak for yourself.

So, tell me, what is the
dirt on that marina?

Go on.

Ronnie, we'll get into that later.

First, it's time for us to celebrate

your impending nuptials
with the other ponies.

Okay.

Giddity-up.

How is he operating the zoom?

It really is a tight angle.

I can't believe this.

I wrote the song for Debbie,

now it looks like I'm losing both of 'em.

We could always crash her
performance tonight?

Security's got my mug

all over their kick his
ass if you see 'im list.

What if they don't see your ass?

You don't physically have to be there.

These streaming sites are
usually pretty low stakes.

Makeup tutorials, cute animals,

babies laughing, blah, blah, blah.

But low stakes means low security.

If I can access one of
their accounts, I can get

into their streaming
services and their videos.

Oh, it's pass protected.

Uh, statistically, people
use their date of birth

and their pet's name for their password,

but the odds of guessing that
combination are astronomical.

Try "password."

Yeah, right.

Ah, it worked.

We're in.

- Password?
- Nice.

Now when Regina starts her show tonight,

we can turn it into whatever we want.

Can we finally tell the world
we're living in a simulation?

After Vernon does his version
of the song, absolutely.

First things first.

Hot damn, you guys are brilliant.

I mean, hell's bells, let's call the band,

get 'em over here right now.

Let's perform the song for the
whole world to see and hear.

Okay, it's not the whole world.

You have to take those expectations down

just like a little bit.

It's gonna be like 500,000 to a million.

- Hell, that's enough.
- That's a lot of people.

Let's do it.

Get ahold of Mo.

I can't wait for Ronnie to see
how great this all looks.

Do you know Ronnie loves sunflowers?

Ronnie, is gonna think
this is all fantastic.

Say his name all you want, but
that doesn't change the fact

that you have feelings for Vernon.

Okay, fine, we had a moment.

Define moment.

Alright, I was trying on my wedding dress,

and he told me I looked beautiful.

And when I turned around... he kissed me.

Oh my God, Mom!

Oh, that is definitely a moment.

I didn't kiss him back.

If you have feelings for Dad,

how can you just go on ignore them?

I know.

Babe, it's just complicated.

I mean, sometimes when
you're an adult, you just...

you have to make choices
that aren't black and white.

And that's why adults are allowed to drink.

Honey, me marrying Ronnie,

it doesn't mean that Vernon
can't be in your life.

Just not mine.

Damn it, this baby is playing
hackesack with my bladder.

I gotta pee again.

I have to tell my dad.

I have to tell my dad how she
feels, he has feelings for her.

- What am I supposed to do?
- Don't get involved.

Don't get involved... alright, fine!

I'm not telling you what
to do, but I'm also not

not gonna tell you to go tell Vernon.

Just to be clear, you are
saying that I should...

Tell Vernon what the hell is going on.

I will cover for you here.

Okay. Okay, right.

Same... same page.

What do you think? It's your turn.

Yee-haw!

Get out the branding iron.

Can you imagine?

Hey, Coy.

Oh, Ronnie.

I got some ideas on Trident Marina

I was gonna boomerang off of ya.

Mm-hmm.

How 'bout some shop talk?

Now's not the time for business.

The only thing I like mixing
with pleasure is pleasure.

Hey, bud.

Oh, yeah.

What's the most illegal thing
you've done in this office?

I used Coy's Hula password.

Hey!

Who's done anything crazy recently?

Speak up, speak up!

Enunciate. Enunciate.

Hey, what's Coy been up to recently?

I'm gonna shred you

like we shredded those
files last week, right?

Only thing getting shredded,
pony boy, is you.

Hey, Bern, how you're doing?

What are you thoughts on Trident Marina?

It's fit for Poseidon himself.

You ever think about growing a mustache?

You should. The babes love it.

_

- Uh, Coy.
- Yeah?

- Can I have a word?
- Sure, Ronnie.

You know, you're like a father to me.

Oh, interesting role play choice.

Okay, go on.

Uh. Mmm.

- Coy Fisher...
- Mm-hmm.

would you do me the honor
of being my best man?

Who's utmost duty is to come with me

to my rehearsal dinner right now?

I mean, I get to be in the wedding party?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

Well, then yes! A thousand times yes!

Val, don't you just love the
romance of twinkly lights?

No.

Remember, just start on Mo's kick drum,

then pan up me, then pretty much

just hold there until the end of the song.

Dad!

I need to talk to you.

Honey, could this wait?

I don't think so.

Mom has feelings for you.

God, I wish that was true,
baby, but I took my shot.

It was a mistake.

No, I don't think so.

She literally can't stop
thinking about you.

You need to go and talk to her.

We're about T-minus 15 minutes
until Regina's performance.

What do you wanna do?

Leia, can we take this rodeo on the road?

I can take over the stream from anywhere.

Just give me a minute to get my stuff.

- Ready.
- Let's go.

What about us?

I'm so glad we all rushed
over here for nothing.

It's exciting though.

It's like we're all sidekicks
in someone else's story.

Get it off!

Finally as a happily married man,

my best advice to you would
be to stay open to everyone

who presents themselves along the way.

To my dominant stallion and his mare.

Yeehaw!

Yeehaw.

Ah, do you trust this woman, Ronnie?

With all my heart.

With all of our secrets?

What secrets exactly do you mean?

Well, you know, that little
legal bait and switch

that we've been running through the sham

of Trident Marina that I put your name on.

Yes, yes.

Yes.

Nature calls.

I'll be back, babe.

Okay.

Has Ronnie hipped you to the
concept of [unintelligible]?

Excuse me.

If could have a moment of y'alls time.

I'm Vernon Brown.

Um... I wanna play this song

for a very special lady
in the audience tonight.

I need to play it for her
now before it's too late.

I wanna play this song
for a very special lady

in the audience tonight.

Alright, are you all ready to rock?

♪ If I never see your smile again ♪

What the [bleep] is this? Cut it.

♪ Never want to touch your skin ♪

♪ [unintelligible] ♪

♪ If I couldn't love
you, I wouldn't be me ♪

♪ If the night couldn't
kiss the morning sun ♪

♪ Like a river that has no ♪

Wow, we're at 5,000 views and counting.

Whoa.

♪ God only knows where I might be ♪

♪ If I didn't love you, I wouldn't be me ♪

I wrote that song for you, Deb.

This is good, this is good.

Read the room, Doily.

Not the time, not the time.

Did you hear that? I did it!

Let's go lasso that SOB.

Oh, it takes a few days to process.

Sometimes while criminals screw themselves.

Damn, that's anticlimactic.

Tell me about it.

Well, I guess you guys want these back.

No, no, no.

Those are all yours. You can keep 'em.

Are you sure?

Little parting gift, if you will.

- They're nice.
- No, they're yours.

Alright, thanks.

Okay, Deb, maybe I deserve that slap.

You deserve a lot more than a slap

for what you just did out there.

You're the one who apparently
can't get me out of your head.

Because you won't let me!

Well, now you don't have to.
I'm all in, Deb.

Me and you, right now,
let's get out of here.

Vernon, stop.

I'm marrying Ronnie.

Are you telling me you're
gonna be happy with him?

No, I'm gonna be secure with him.

You want security, maybe you
outta get a damn alarm system.

Vernon, security... is a man
who remembers my birthday,

who helps me build a crib, who
gives me my dream proposal.

Security is the man who
actually comes home at night,

not just sing about it.

Deb, I wrote that song for you.

I mean, that's my feelings,
that's my heart.

You said audience out there.

You said there's a special
lady in the audience,

Vernon, you will always
need that attention.

I can't be your audience anymore.

That's not what I meant.

Vernon, just... be selfless for once

and let me get on with my life.

Come on, man, let's go get a drink.

Not right now, man.

I need to be alone.

♪ That's just me loving you ♪

Vernon, you're a genius!

I got that slap on tape, man.

Classic heartfelt gesture fail!

Oh, and the song's a hit!

♪ I'll still be loving you loving me ♪