Still the King (2016–2017): Season 1, Episode 10 - Back on Top - full transcript

Vernon runs into country star, Trayne Crosstown (John Corbett), which serves as tempting reminder of the fame Vernon left behind. Debbie's dreams come true when she reclaims her position as the Pool and Spa Depot spokesmodel.

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

Hey, did you drink some of this?

Well, I didn't want it to spill.

That's my little Debbie.

Get in there, Laciter!

Debbie!

That's Palmavere.

Laciter's the winger.

Kick his ass, Palmavere!

That's my little Debbie.

Now that is what I call romantic.



I hope someone proposes to
me on the Kiss-Cam one day.

I'm sure they will, honey.

I'm sure they will.

Here you go.

Ooh!

Bacon, ham, sausage.

You hit all the meat all-stars.

What'd I do to deserve this?

Please, do you know how long it's been

since I've been to a hockey game?

And right up on the glass.

Vernon, I do not know what or
who you had to do to get these,

but thank you.

Well, it's my pleasure.



I just thought you and Charlotte
would really enjoy seeing me rock out

with my band in an arena like old times.

Except now it's during intermissions

while a hockey game is the main draw.

And you know what?
Charlotte is with Mabel

making a homecoming float,
so I'm gonna bring Ronnie.

I hope that's okay.

Yeah, sure.

Okay.

No problemo.

You are a handsome and powerful man

who's uniquely skilled in the
nautical and martial arts.

And any woman would
be lucky to have you.

Deb... will you marry me?

Uh! Ah!

Come on, you ever heard of knocking?

Is that an engagement ring?

Maybe, maybe not.

You'll just have to find
out at the game later

when I propose to Deb.

You're not using my
ticket to propose to her.

Not your ticket.

My soon-to-be fiancée gave it to me.

'Cause tonight is gonna be perfect.

We'll see about that.

Welcome to Tapits,

a temperature conscious
dining experience.

Here are your meat thermometers.

Remember, if it's above 98,
we pay for your date.

Oh, I actually don't need one.

I don't eat meat.

Okay.

So you have to go home after this?

I was asking for a friend of mine.

Well, you can tell
your friend that I was

actually thinking of staying
at your place tonight.

Mm.

So, I have a few specials
to tell you about.

Gazpacho, tuna tartar,
steak tartar, a cheese plate.

And for dessert, lukewarm lava cake.

Please tell me you brought
me here as a joke.

Food temperature-related
injuries are not a joke.

Sorry.

Ladies and gentlemen,

seating in 15 minutes.

Come on, let's find our seats.

Yeah, let's... hey, Vern.

Have a great show, bud.

Oh, Val, you can put
that over there, sir.

Oh, Mo, it's so heavy.

Well, it's made with real cast iron.

Mm, it's a good thing Val's so strong.

I would appreciate not being objectified

while I'm trying to work, Carmen.

Is this sexy or what?

Now remember, this is
just an exposure gig.

So play covers, no originals.

What do you mean no originals?

You can play some classic
Burnin' Vernon originals.

But nothing after '92.

Only songs off your first record.

I was thinking my new love
song I wrote for Debbie

might knock their socks off.

Oh, no, no, Vernon, you don't want

any of these people's socks
to be coming off. Trust me.

Besides, you don't want to
debut that new song here.

When do you recommend I debut it?

Oh, soon. Very soon.

But these things have
to be finessed, man.

I think Vernon's trying to do
some finessing of his own.

His baby mama's here,
and he wrote it for her.

Oh, that's beautiful, man.

Now, remember, just play
the old (bleep), okay?

Alright, okay.

Good show. Good show, everybody!

Nothing like the smell
of beer, sweat, and ice.

It's gonna be a special night,
Ronnie, I can feel it.

Yeah, it is. Oh, 118, that's us.

How 'bout you go ahead
and get our seats,

I'll get us some hotdogs, some beer,

and maybe make a deposit
at the pee bank.

Yeah, but not in that order.

Well, you know.

- Hey.
- Ah!

Oh.

Ronnie? How did you...
what are you doing here?

We thought you blew up.

Yeah, I get that a lot.

What are you doing here?

Well, you know, we... got real jobs now.

Oh.

I see how it is. I get blown to bits,
you just abandon the arts.

It was cool working for free
in your girlfriend's basement,

but they pay us here.

And it's helped my self-esteem, so...

Yeah, and my mom's
medical bills, which...

Ssh, sellouts.

Listen, I'm gonna propose to Debbie,

and I need it to be on the Jumbotron.

You do this, I'll get
you back on the show.

Waaah.

Hey, buddy, take it easy!

Walt, hey.

What?

Did you think I was a real dog?

Idiot!

You're Daredevil Dachshund?

I can neither confirm nor deny.

He won a sweepstakes.

He gets to be the special guest mascot.

Babe, come on.

We mascots make a solemn vow to
protect our civilian identities.

But you just revealed
your identity to me.

And to those people.

Daddy, why is that man wearing

Daredevil Dachshund's skin?

Ah, that's horrible.

Come on.

What are you even doing here, Walt?

Well, we're the featured
house band tonight.

- Really?
- Yeah.

That's awesome.

Oh, yeah.

If you think playing in a band

is more awesome than dressing
up like a sausage-shaped dog

and swinging from ropes
at a sporting event.

Yah!

Well, I guess if you put it that way.

Whatever forever, Walt!

Double D.

Come on, man, photo-op time.

St. Agatha's Orphanage, let's go.

Uh, they're such losers.

No wonder their parents don't want 'em.

Hi, kids.

- Right. I gotta go set up.
- I wanna help.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Okay, come on.

Penalty!

Oh, come on!

Crosschecking!

Grow some eyes, ref!

Come on, let's kick it, quick.

♪ Bellbottoms were really cool ♪

Oh, yeah!

You freaking kidding me?

Oh, look, hon,
Vernon's on the Jumbotron.

Do you see him, honey?

Yeah, yeah, that's great.

♪ I want my money back ♪♪

♪ My old Camaro and my 8-tracks ♪

♪ Fuzzy dice hanging loose and proud ♪

♪ ZZ Top, they're playing loud ♪

- What the hell was that?
- Sorry, Mr. Ronnie.

The only way to guarantee
to be on the Jumbotron

is if you're a hockey player
or in the band or a mascot.

Or if you're famous, which,

let's be honest, I don't
thinkenough people have actually

- seen your show to recognize...
- Sshh.

Just get me on the damn Jumbotron.

♪ Summertime, that's what I miss ♪

What's... what...

Ronnie!

Here we go, babe.

I want a T-shirt!

Over here!

Debbie Lynn Cook...

Oh, Ronnie, look, you got a T-shirt.

Yah, that's so awesome!

Bull's eye.

You don't take advantage
of me, Charlotte,

because I've had a few drinks.

Oh, I'm counting on it.

In fact, we should
probably take this off.

That's better.

- Oh yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

- Are you gonna join me?
- Maybe, if I want to.

Mm.

Oh, shoot, I'm sorry.

- Let me just...
- No.

Oh, somebody's got big plans tonight.

No.

Don't flatter yourself.

What?

Okay, so I...

Either...

you've been lying to me about your age.

Or you're a time traveler
from the state of Montana.

Please say something.

I'm assuming you're not
an uncover narc, hmm?

Like "21 Jump Street"?

- I don't know what that is.
- Exactly.

You really are in high school.

- Please...
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

... talk about...

Who else knows about this?

Just Mabel, that's it. I promise.

Mabel? Yeah, right. What is she, 12?

Lloy, I'm... I'm really sorry.

I just... I really like you,
and I got caught in this lie

from the beginning.
And I just got scared that...

That I might be a little upset?

Yeah, it's kind of a big deal.

And I'm pretty sure it's illegal.

Yep, totally illegal.

Can't we just like... I don't know.

Hey.

I like you... a lot.

But we can't do this.

At least not for 18 months...

3 hours, and 12 minutes.

What's your name, little man?

JD.

JD, that's a cool name.

Hey, dog, listen up.

It's my lady's big dream to be
proposed to on the Jumbotron.

But I'm having a bad time
getting some screen time,

if you know what I mean.

Hello, I'm talking
about making a dealio.

I take a stroll in your paws.

The old collar swap.

Hello?

Damn it, look, man, I just
need to be Daredevil Dachshund

for like 20 minutes, capiche?

You listen up.

You listen up good.

When I dawned the pelt
of Daredevil Dachshund,

I took an implied silent
oath that I would protect

the integrity of the character
and all he stood for.

I will not tarnish the
legacy of all the mascots

that have gone before me.

Maybe you haven't met my
old friend George Hamilton.

There you are.

It's almost second intermission.

Time for your stunt.

Stunt?

I've been trying to
get on the Jumbotron.

- What?
- I'm trying to get on the Jumbotron.

Let's just get you strapped in.

Ahhh!

Okay, as soon as the announcer
finishes, you let 'em have it.

You guys might even get out
like a whole half a song.

Really? It's amazing.

"Wouldn't Be Me" in G.

♪ If I never see your smile again ♪

♪ Never touch your ♪

- Alright, fans.
- Are you kidding me?

Turn your eyes to the sky.

This can't be happening now.

Okay, Max jumps first.

When he lands, he unhooks,
and then you go, Double D.

It's go-time, Max.

Whoo!

Alright, Double D, you all strapped in?

I'm not the real guy!

I'm Ronnie!

What was that?

I'm not the real guy, I'm Ronnie!

I can't understand you, buddy.

You know what?

Just tell me later.

Daredevil Dachshund.

Uh!

Just a slight malfunction.

Hang on, folks.

Ah!

Ronnie?

Ronnie!

Ronnie. Ronnie, look.

Baby, are you alright?

I'm a little dizzy.

- I could use some candy.
- Sssh.

Grandma, do I have amnesia again?

And he's okay!

Ronnie, look, do you see us?
We're on the Jumbrotron?

- We are.
- Yeah.

Debbie Lynn Cook...

Ronnie.

Except for that one moment on
a boat we won't go into now,

you've been by my side
through thick and thin,

high tide and low,

alive and presumed dead.

I know sometimes I work out too much.

I get distracted by my karate goals.

You do.

But I'd be honored to be your first mate

on this love boat called life.

Will you marry me?

Yes.

Yes, Ronnie, I'll marry you.

She said yes.

Love is a smoke which is made
from the fumes of signs.

You okay, Vern?

Ha!

I never had a jealous
bone in my damn body.

Never mentioned anything
about being jealous.

Well, I'm gonna go make
some poor decisions.

- Hey.
- Hey.

I'm sorry about Reggie.

He's acting like a jerk.

You don't have to apologize for him.

He is sorry enough on his own.

Well, speaking of,
I can't find him anywhere,

and he was my ride home.

I can give you a ride.

Are you sure you don't mind?

- No.
- You do?

No, I mean, that...
that I'm sure that I don't mind.

No, I'd like to give you a ride.

- You would?
- Yeah.

- Okay.
- Come on, let's go.

Don't do that.

I thought you were a spider.

Okay, well, I'm not a spider.

I was wondering if you wanted
to go grab a drink with me?

Why? So you can scare me again?

Thanks, but no thanks.

Okay, well, let me know
if you change your mind.

It's like dying of thirst
while watching a man pour out

the last glass of water on Earth.

Maybe we can try and be friends?

Yeah.

Uh, I could wait for you
to get out of school

near the parking lot.

Stop.

It wouldn't be creepy at all, trust me.

Okay, I'm being serious.

We can be friends.

But only for 18 months,

2 hours, and 33 minutes.

Then all bets are off.

Okay, deal.

Deal.

Thirty-two minutes.

Bye, Lloy Danderson.

Hey, honey.

You okay?

Uh, I'm not sure.

You okay?

I'm not sure either.

I got a feeling we're both sad
about the same thing though.

God I hope not.

Are you upset because Ronnie
proposed to your mama tonight?

What?

He did?

Yeah.

On the Jumbotron.

Wow.

So... what are you sad about?

You ever get caught pretending
to be someone you're not?

Uh-huh, fake preacher.

College student.

Let me guess. Older boy?

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Lloy Danderson.

Lloyd?

No, no, Lloy Danderson.

It's stupid.

It's a messed up name.

So... does this mean you
still have feelings for mom?

Can you keep a secret?

You're talking to a girl who's
been living a double life

the past couple of months.

Yeah, well, then... yeah, I guess so.

♪ I want my money back ♪

♪ I want my money back ♪

♪ I want my money back ♪

♪ I want my money back ♪

♪ I want my money back ♪

And he's okay!

Last time on "Still The King"...

Will you finally admit
you're jealous of Ronnie?

I told you, baby,
I just ain't the jealous type.

What are you talking about, Courtney?

I told you, man, I wrote this song.

It's real personal to me.

Trying to make you the
biggest star in the world.

What do you say we hit
the bar down the street?

We're actually 16...

Sixteen minutes late to college stuff.

I'm sorry, Charlotte,

I just... I don't think
tonight's our night.

Reggie, what are you doing here?

We agreed that we were on a break.

God, I miss game night.

You hated game night!

That was back before I
needed to impress you.