Steven Universe (2013–…): Season 1, Episode 9 - Tiger Millionaire - full transcript
Steven and Amethyst create alter egos so they can secretly enter a wrestling tournament.
♪ We are the Crystal Gems ♪
♪ we'll always save the day ♪
♪ and if you think we can't ♪
♪ we'll always find a way ♪
- # that's why the people #
- # of this world #
- # believe in... #
- # Garnet #
- # Amethyst #
- # and Pearl #
♪ And Steven! ♪
1x09 - "Tiger Millionaire"
How could you possibly think
punching a blood polyp was a good idea?
Look at all the gunk you got
on me! And look at Steven.
- It's not so bad once you get used to it.
- See? He likes it!
He certainly won't
like it when it hardens.
- Uh... what? I'm gonna go wash.
- He shouldn't have been
- so close in the first place.
- How was I supposed to know they'd pop?
- Uh, guys?
- You're always putting us in danger
with your little outbursts!
Oh, you are just... so... childish!
Yeah, yeah.
Don't forget "reckless,"
"vulgar," "loudmouth," and that's just
what makes me so awesome, right, Garnet?!
Amethyst,
you are a Crystal Gem.
- You need to act like it.
- Fine.
I think we really
got through to her.
- Right, Garnet?
- Guys?
Huh? Wha?
Amethyst?
For those of you
befuddled by the events of
athleticism, you're about to
see the Purple Puma
is the single, most-hated
wrestler in Beach City
- underground's history!
- What?
All right, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's introduce his opponent ...
or should I say victim?
- The Lochness Blogster!
- I'm...
going to end your reign of terror!
Yaah!
- Ugh.
- Well, now, that ... that was quick.
Yeah, yeah, I don't like it,
either, but hey, what do you do?
Amethyst!
What are you doing here?
- Are you a secret wrestler?
- Yeah.
But how?
But when? But why?
Come here.
Let me explain something to you.
In the ring, nobody can tell me what to do!
And if they try, I hit 'em in
- the face with a chair!
- And people... like that?
Like it?
They love it!
Well, they hate it, but it's
all part of the fun, you know?
E-everyone here... gets that.
You don't know what it's
like having Pearl and Garnet
- on your back all the time!
- Are you kidding me?!
Oh, Steven, I told you before
not to take peanut butter on missions!
I'm not going to
say anything, but I expect you
to understand that that was wrong.
Let me be a wrestler with you!
I'm so stifled!
Well, I haven't won
the tag-team belt yet, but you
- can't tell Pearl and Garnet.
- Deal!
Are you ready?!
Presenting...
Tiger Millionaire ... rich, feline
industrialist from jungle island!
Once the single child of the wealthy
Tiger family, he clawed out his own destiny
- making money in the coconut mines.
- Wow! You just came up with all that?
- Well, yeah. What's your back story?
- Pumas are cool.
Uh...
W-we'll workshop that later.
Two local heroes in the ring tonight.
They build hospitals for
the sick, and they build muscles
that look slick. Give it up for
Concrete Heat and Chunk Truck!
Facing off against the
Purple Puma and our newest,
mew-est competitor...
Tiger Millionaire!
- That little guy's gonna get creamed.
- From here, he kinda looks like Steven.
- Yeah, right.
- Steven, wait.
I'm just using you to get the tag-team
belt. I'll do all the actual fighting.
- Do I still get to wear the costume?
- I don't care.
Okay!
Ooh, a devastating move by Puma!
U-uh, Purple ...
Purple Puma! Look out!
What a gross misuse of safety
equipment and your tax dollars.
- That's not fair.
- It may not seem fair,
- but hey, anything goes in wrestling.
- It does?
Oh, yes, it does!
Looks like this
Tiger's got to turn cheetah!
Hey, chunk truck!
I'll give you a million
- jungle bucks to throw the match!
- What's this? It looks like Tiger Millionaire
- is offering a bribe!
- Why, we could fill 1,000 potholes with ...
Oh, snap!
Did you see that?!
Oh-h!
- Oh! I mean, just, wow.
- Way to go, Tiger!
Ye-eah!
Record-breaking heat tonight, folks.
Could it be? Tiger Millionaire
has bought out our soda stand.
Maybe he'll share with
his thirsty fa... oh!
Now there's no sodas for anybody.
Wha... and now he's
putting on galoshes?!
Wow, folks. This is really
hard to watch.
Classic. Tiger! Hey, Tiger!
W-would you sign this?
- It'd be so rad!
- You couldn't afford it!
Who-o-o-a.
Never thought I'd live to see the day
when a contender
turned on his own fans.
I thought we
were just having fun!
Tiger Millionaire, you are the
cruelest creature on the planet!
Hey, Tiger! Are you
ready to win our final match?!
Amethyst, am I... the cruelest
creature on the planet?
Oh, Steven. Those are just words people
use to describe how they feel about you.
Listen, Steven. You can't let
anyone make you feel like garbage.
- Is that how you feel?
- I only feel how I want to feel.
Ladies and gentlemen, fans of wrestling,
welcome to the tag-team
championship!
In the ring tonight ... they've
stomped their way
through the tournament and into
our hearts. Give it up, y'all.
Give it up for Dashing Dave Doober
and Handsome Hank Hackleschmidt!
Only one thing would
make these men look better, folks ...
it's the tag-team belts! But...
standing in their way, the
ruthless kings of the jungle.
They'll eat your kids and
fire your parents! Oooh!
Yes, it could only be...
the Purple Puma...
...and Tiger Millionaire!
Don't you dare hurt
those men, you monsters!
Man, people are
really hating on Tiger M.
He's awful because
he hurt me specifically!
Pearl? Uh, Garnet?
- What are you doing?
- What are we doing? What is this?
I thought we
could use some promotion.
Looks like we have some new opponents!
No, you don't!
This match is cancelled.
- What?
- What? Why?
Why?! I can't believe you've
been sneaking off to this ...
this ... circus of violence!
And you!
Using your gem powers on humans?
It's not enough that
you're on my case all the time?
- You have to ruin this for me, too?
- We're not here to fight.
Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
- Steven, Amethyst...
- What?!
- ...go back to the temple.
- I don't wanna!
Don't do this.
Guys! Stop!
Wait! I want to tell you
Purple Puma's back story.
He was the wildest cat in the jungle ...
so wild, the other
cats couldn't take it.
So she ... I mean, he ...
went to look for somewhere
he fit in ... somewhere
with other people who
- felt misunderstood.
- That really sounds like Steven.
- Shh!
- That's why we're all here ...
to be wild and free and
body-slam each other
and wear cool costumes and make
up nicknames, and ... and ...
uh, so... can't we just... have this?
Can't we just... wrestle?
No.
Because... we are...
the notorious o-order of...
wrestling haters.
That's right.
Um... we want to stop
all wrestling everywhere!
You're going to let us destroy all wrestling?
You got to save wrestling!
Come on!
Tiger! Puma!
Tiger! Puma!
We'll stop you!
What a stunning turnaround!
The jungle duo are fighting back!
And they've taken down
Captain Square. But wait. Wait.
It's the ... it's the
good-looking gang with a ladder!
A-are they planning to steal the belt?
No! Ooh, they're
actually helping Tiger up!
- He's climbing an actual...
- Sorry for, um... sorry.
- Same here.
- Tiger Millionaire has claimed
the tag-team belts!
Tiger and Puma have won the
- championship and saved wrestling!
- Lars, I'm really confused.
I love you, Tiger Millionaire.
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
♪ we'll always save the day ♪
♪ and if you think we can't ♪
♪ we'll always find a way ♪
- # that's why the people #
- # of this world #
- # believe in... #
- # Garnet #
- # Amethyst #
- # and Pearl #
♪ And Steven! ♪
1x09 - "Tiger Millionaire"
How could you possibly think
punching a blood polyp was a good idea?
Look at all the gunk you got
on me! And look at Steven.
- It's not so bad once you get used to it.
- See? He likes it!
He certainly won't
like it when it hardens.
- Uh... what? I'm gonna go wash.
- He shouldn't have been
- so close in the first place.
- How was I supposed to know they'd pop?
- Uh, guys?
- You're always putting us in danger
with your little outbursts!
Oh, you are just... so... childish!
Yeah, yeah.
Don't forget "reckless,"
"vulgar," "loudmouth," and that's just
what makes me so awesome, right, Garnet?!
Amethyst,
you are a Crystal Gem.
- You need to act like it.
- Fine.
I think we really
got through to her.
- Right, Garnet?
- Guys?
Huh? Wha?
Amethyst?
For those of you
befuddled by the events of
athleticism, you're about to
see the Purple Puma
is the single, most-hated
wrestler in Beach City
- underground's history!
- What?
All right, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's introduce his opponent ...
or should I say victim?
- The Lochness Blogster!
- I'm...
going to end your reign of terror!
Yaah!
- Ugh.
- Well, now, that ... that was quick.
Yeah, yeah, I don't like it,
either, but hey, what do you do?
Amethyst!
What are you doing here?
- Are you a secret wrestler?
- Yeah.
But how?
But when? But why?
Come here.
Let me explain something to you.
In the ring, nobody can tell me what to do!
And if they try, I hit 'em in
- the face with a chair!
- And people... like that?
Like it?
They love it!
Well, they hate it, but it's
all part of the fun, you know?
E-everyone here... gets that.
You don't know what it's
like having Pearl and Garnet
- on your back all the time!
- Are you kidding me?!
Oh, Steven, I told you before
not to take peanut butter on missions!
I'm not going to
say anything, but I expect you
to understand that that was wrong.
Let me be a wrestler with you!
I'm so stifled!
Well, I haven't won
the tag-team belt yet, but you
- can't tell Pearl and Garnet.
- Deal!
Are you ready?!
Presenting...
Tiger Millionaire ... rich, feline
industrialist from jungle island!
Once the single child of the wealthy
Tiger family, he clawed out his own destiny
- making money in the coconut mines.
- Wow! You just came up with all that?
- Well, yeah. What's your back story?
- Pumas are cool.
Uh...
W-we'll workshop that later.
Two local heroes in the ring tonight.
They build hospitals for
the sick, and they build muscles
that look slick. Give it up for
Concrete Heat and Chunk Truck!
Facing off against the
Purple Puma and our newest,
mew-est competitor...
Tiger Millionaire!
- That little guy's gonna get creamed.
- From here, he kinda looks like Steven.
- Yeah, right.
- Steven, wait.
I'm just using you to get the tag-team
belt. I'll do all the actual fighting.
- Do I still get to wear the costume?
- I don't care.
Okay!
Ooh, a devastating move by Puma!
U-uh, Purple ...
Purple Puma! Look out!
What a gross misuse of safety
equipment and your tax dollars.
- That's not fair.
- It may not seem fair,
- but hey, anything goes in wrestling.
- It does?
Oh, yes, it does!
Looks like this
Tiger's got to turn cheetah!
Hey, chunk truck!
I'll give you a million
- jungle bucks to throw the match!
- What's this? It looks like Tiger Millionaire
- is offering a bribe!
- Why, we could fill 1,000 potholes with ...
Oh, snap!
Did you see that?!
Oh-h!
- Oh! I mean, just, wow.
- Way to go, Tiger!
Ye-eah!
Record-breaking heat tonight, folks.
Could it be? Tiger Millionaire
has bought out our soda stand.
Maybe he'll share with
his thirsty fa... oh!
Now there's no sodas for anybody.
Wha... and now he's
putting on galoshes?!
Wow, folks. This is really
hard to watch.
Classic. Tiger! Hey, Tiger!
W-would you sign this?
- It'd be so rad!
- You couldn't afford it!
Who-o-o-a.
Never thought I'd live to see the day
when a contender
turned on his own fans.
I thought we
were just having fun!
Tiger Millionaire, you are the
cruelest creature on the planet!
Hey, Tiger! Are you
ready to win our final match?!
Amethyst, am I... the cruelest
creature on the planet?
Oh, Steven. Those are just words people
use to describe how they feel about you.
Listen, Steven. You can't let
anyone make you feel like garbage.
- Is that how you feel?
- I only feel how I want to feel.
Ladies and gentlemen, fans of wrestling,
welcome to the tag-team
championship!
In the ring tonight ... they've
stomped their way
through the tournament and into
our hearts. Give it up, y'all.
Give it up for Dashing Dave Doober
and Handsome Hank Hackleschmidt!
Only one thing would
make these men look better, folks ...
it's the tag-team belts! But...
standing in their way, the
ruthless kings of the jungle.
They'll eat your kids and
fire your parents! Oooh!
Yes, it could only be...
the Purple Puma...
...and Tiger Millionaire!
Don't you dare hurt
those men, you monsters!
Man, people are
really hating on Tiger M.
He's awful because
he hurt me specifically!
Pearl? Uh, Garnet?
- What are you doing?
- What are we doing? What is this?
I thought we
could use some promotion.
Looks like we have some new opponents!
No, you don't!
This match is cancelled.
- What?
- What? Why?
Why?! I can't believe you've
been sneaking off to this ...
this ... circus of violence!
And you!
Using your gem powers on humans?
It's not enough that
you're on my case all the time?
- You have to ruin this for me, too?
- We're not here to fight.
Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
- Steven, Amethyst...
- What?!
- ...go back to the temple.
- I don't wanna!
Don't do this.
Guys! Stop!
Wait! I want to tell you
Purple Puma's back story.
He was the wildest cat in the jungle ...
so wild, the other
cats couldn't take it.
So she ... I mean, he ...
went to look for somewhere
he fit in ... somewhere
with other people who
- felt misunderstood.
- That really sounds like Steven.
- Shh!
- That's why we're all here ...
to be wild and free and
body-slam each other
and wear cool costumes and make
up nicknames, and ... and ...
uh, so... can't we just... have this?
Can't we just... wrestle?
No.
Because... we are...
the notorious o-order of...
wrestling haters.
That's right.
Um... we want to stop
all wrestling everywhere!
You're going to let us destroy all wrestling?
You got to save wrestling!
Come on!
Tiger! Puma!
Tiger! Puma!
We'll stop you!
What a stunning turnaround!
The jungle duo are fighting back!
And they've taken down
Captain Square. But wait. Wait.
It's the ... it's the
good-looking gang with a ladder!
A-are they planning to steal the belt?
No! Ooh, they're
actually helping Tiger up!
- He's climbing an actual...
- Sorry for, um... sorry.
- Same here.
- Tiger Millionaire has claimed
the tag-team belts!
Tiger and Puma have won the
- championship and saved wrestling!
- Lars, I'm really confused.
I love you, Tiger Millionaire.
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.