Steven Universe (2013–…): Season 1, Episode 38 - The Test - full transcript
Steven finds out that his mission to the Lunar Sea Spire was a test and demands a new one.
~ Fora Temer ~
Ooh-hoo!
You got freezer burned, Pearl!
Looks like you lose
- all your fish sticks.
- What?!
I needed those for my
"bachelor meal combo."
Now I can't ring the dinner bell.
These rules make no sense.
The game of citchen
calamity may be played
for fun, but the hunger is real!
Tough break, Pearl.
"The sponge in your sink
is covered in mold."
But I can still eat it, right?
No, no, that means
you lose two turns.
- That's bologna!
- Wait!
- You have a bologna card?
- Garnet, your move.
I'm now the owner of
the golden can opener. Yessss.
Now you can check your
soups for the alphabet bonus!
- Who wrote this game?
- My turn!
I've got to roll the
dice to escape the eggquake!
Come on.
Papa needs a new skillet!
Yeah! Double sunnies!
I did it! I win!
Yeah! This citchen calamity
has been cleaned up!
Whoo-hoo!
- I don't get it, but nice job.
- Yes, well done.
That was very... very
complicated.
Well played.
So, what do you want to play next?
- There are more?
- Oh, sure!
I've got polypoly, toppler, and
conquerors of eldermore...
Not that sorry,
don't wake father figure, and
noninvasive operation.
I think that one's missing
a couple organs. I also have
checkers, if you want to take tur...
The sea spire statue.
Pfft! Oh!
- So that's where you left it.
- I...
forgot I still had this.
I ... I'm really sorry I forgot
it on our mission that time.
- Oh, Steven...
- If I'd just remembered to pack it,
then maybe the sea spire
would still be around.
But now it's
gone forever 'cause of me.
Well, yeah, but...
- Don't worry about it, guy.
- You did your best on
that mission, and that's what counts.
But the sea spire!
It was a special, important gem... place.
Oh, Steven, no, no, no.
If the spire had been crucial,
we wouldn't have used
it as a test for you.
- It's fine, really.
- Test?
What do you mean "test"?
Eh... well,
it wasn't really a "test,"
per se, not in the
traditional sense. We just
wanted to see if you were
ready to go on missions.
That's exactly what a test is!
- Eh...
- Steven, it wasn't
something we planned behind your back.
- We just saw an opportunity, an...
- And I failed it.
- I failed the test.
- No way!
- You got at least a 50%.
- Oh! And you had that
raft, so we didn't have to swim home.
That's a solid 75!
Not failing at all!
Besides, that spire
was in much worse shape
than we thought.
- It should've been even easier.
- I failed an easy test?!
Nice one.
- That's not what I meant! I ...
- No!
I need another test ...
a hard one!
- But, Steven, you've come so far.
- Let me prove it!
- Test me! Test me!
- Hmm...
All right, Steven.
We've adjusted the
metaphysical properties of
the temple to create a
customized dungeon for you.
Now just beyond here are
three chambers designed by
each of us to simulate the
challenges of a mission.
Should you succeed, you'll
unlock the final door, where
- we will be waiting for you.
- All right!
- That's more like it.
- Steven, this won't be easy.
Be careful in there.
Right.
I won't let you down this time.
- That's the spirit.
- Yeah!
- Get amped, Steven!
- I'm ready.
Good luck!
You're gonna need it!
Roomer-o uno. I wonder if
Amethyst made this one.
Definitely Amethyst.
The door!
Unh! Whoa!
Unh!
Wha? Uh-oh.
Uh...
Oh.
Yeah!
How do I get up there?
Huh?
Hmm...
Oh! A music puzzle.
Must be Pearl's room.
Only she would make me think.
Okay. Let's see...
um...
Bing.
# bing #
♪ bing ♪
♪ bing ♪
Did that do it?
Easy!
Not easy!
Whoo-hoo!
That... was close.
That was really close.
All right, let's see what we got.
Looks like Garnet...
turned up the heat.
Nice one, Steven.
Huh?
What?
Oh, no.
It can't be true.
What?!
It didn't even matter?!
This too?!
Everything's rigged!
Ah!
I... can't believe it.
"It won't be easy. Good luck!
You're gonna need it!"
How am I supposed to prove
myself if you guys keep ...
What's taking him so long?
I didn't think mine
was very difficult.
Do you think he hurt himself?
There's no way.
It's impossible for him to fail.
Ugh!
So what's the point?
The point is
that he's come so far.
He can make Rose's
bubble, and he's pulled out
Rose's shield twice.
But he's lost his healing powers.
We have to give him another success.
He can't lose his confidence
like that again.
- We're bad at this.
- What?
Yeah, you can't
control him, and he shouldn't be
taking advice from me,
and we don't have Rose
- to tell us what to do!
- But he needs us to
- show him how to be a gem!
- Steven is not just a gem.
There has never been anything
or anyone like Steven.
We don't know what he needs.
Congratulations.
- Congratulations, Steven!
- Ye-eah!
Congrats, little man!
Hoo hoo hoo hoo!
- Yes. Well done.
- Yeah, Steven!
- You did it.
- Hoo!
Hoo! Hoo...
Thank goodness you made it.
- How did it go?
- I can't believe you guys.
That was so...
insane!
Where do I even begin?
Man, you should've seen me!
That boulder was comin' at me,
and I just jumped for it!
And then, the tiles were
going like...
# bing bong bing! #
And I was like,
"I see what's going on here!"
And I thought, "there's no
way I could've been ready
for all that fire and lava
and spikes," but I did it!
I really... did it.
I... you guys are the best.
Thank you so much
for doing this for me.
- This was just what I needed.
- Oh, Steven.
Aww! Shucks, guy!
- Mmm.
- I'm so proud of you.
Yeah! You da man!
I knew you could do It.
Ooh-hoo!
You got freezer burned, Pearl!
Looks like you lose
- all your fish sticks.
- What?!
I needed those for my
"bachelor meal combo."
Now I can't ring the dinner bell.
These rules make no sense.
The game of citchen
calamity may be played
for fun, but the hunger is real!
Tough break, Pearl.
"The sponge in your sink
is covered in mold."
But I can still eat it, right?
No, no, that means
you lose two turns.
- That's bologna!
- Wait!
- You have a bologna card?
- Garnet, your move.
I'm now the owner of
the golden can opener. Yessss.
Now you can check your
soups for the alphabet bonus!
- Who wrote this game?
- My turn!
I've got to roll the
dice to escape the eggquake!
Come on.
Papa needs a new skillet!
Yeah! Double sunnies!
I did it! I win!
Yeah! This citchen calamity
has been cleaned up!
Whoo-hoo!
- I don't get it, but nice job.
- Yes, well done.
That was very... very
complicated.
Well played.
So, what do you want to play next?
- There are more?
- Oh, sure!
I've got polypoly, toppler, and
conquerors of eldermore...
Not that sorry,
don't wake father figure, and
noninvasive operation.
I think that one's missing
a couple organs. I also have
checkers, if you want to take tur...
The sea spire statue.
Pfft! Oh!
- So that's where you left it.
- I...
forgot I still had this.
I ... I'm really sorry I forgot
it on our mission that time.
- Oh, Steven...
- If I'd just remembered to pack it,
then maybe the sea spire
would still be around.
But now it's
gone forever 'cause of me.
Well, yeah, but...
- Don't worry about it, guy.
- You did your best on
that mission, and that's what counts.
But the sea spire!
It was a special, important gem... place.
Oh, Steven, no, no, no.
If the spire had been crucial,
we wouldn't have used
it as a test for you.
- It's fine, really.
- Test?
What do you mean "test"?
Eh... well,
it wasn't really a "test,"
per se, not in the
traditional sense. We just
wanted to see if you were
ready to go on missions.
That's exactly what a test is!
- Eh...
- Steven, it wasn't
something we planned behind your back.
- We just saw an opportunity, an...
- And I failed it.
- I failed the test.
- No way!
- You got at least a 50%.
- Oh! And you had that
raft, so we didn't have to swim home.
That's a solid 75!
Not failing at all!
Besides, that spire
was in much worse shape
than we thought.
- It should've been even easier.
- I failed an easy test?!
Nice one.
- That's not what I meant! I ...
- No!
I need another test ...
a hard one!
- But, Steven, you've come so far.
- Let me prove it!
- Test me! Test me!
- Hmm...
All right, Steven.
We've adjusted the
metaphysical properties of
the temple to create a
customized dungeon for you.
Now just beyond here are
three chambers designed by
each of us to simulate the
challenges of a mission.
Should you succeed, you'll
unlock the final door, where
- we will be waiting for you.
- All right!
- That's more like it.
- Steven, this won't be easy.
Be careful in there.
Right.
I won't let you down this time.
- That's the spirit.
- Yeah!
- Get amped, Steven!
- I'm ready.
Good luck!
You're gonna need it!
Roomer-o uno. I wonder if
Amethyst made this one.
Definitely Amethyst.
The door!
Unh! Whoa!
Unh!
Wha? Uh-oh.
Uh...
Oh.
Yeah!
How do I get up there?
Huh?
Hmm...
Oh! A music puzzle.
Must be Pearl's room.
Only she would make me think.
Okay. Let's see...
um...
Bing.
# bing #
♪ bing ♪
♪ bing ♪
Did that do it?
Easy!
Not easy!
Whoo-hoo!
That... was close.
That was really close.
All right, let's see what we got.
Looks like Garnet...
turned up the heat.
Nice one, Steven.
Huh?
What?
Oh, no.
It can't be true.
What?!
It didn't even matter?!
This too?!
Everything's rigged!
Ah!
I... can't believe it.
"It won't be easy. Good luck!
You're gonna need it!"
How am I supposed to prove
myself if you guys keep ...
What's taking him so long?
I didn't think mine
was very difficult.
Do you think he hurt himself?
There's no way.
It's impossible for him to fail.
Ugh!
So what's the point?
The point is
that he's come so far.
He can make Rose's
bubble, and he's pulled out
Rose's shield twice.
But he's lost his healing powers.
We have to give him another success.
He can't lose his confidence
like that again.
- We're bad at this.
- What?
Yeah, you can't
control him, and he shouldn't be
taking advice from me,
and we don't have Rose
- to tell us what to do!
- But he needs us to
- show him how to be a gem!
- Steven is not just a gem.
There has never been anything
or anyone like Steven.
We don't know what he needs.
Congratulations.
- Congratulations, Steven!
- Ye-eah!
Congrats, little man!
Hoo hoo hoo hoo!
- Yes. Well done.
- Yeah, Steven!
- You did it.
- Hoo!
Hoo! Hoo...
Thank goodness you made it.
- How did it go?
- I can't believe you guys.
That was so...
insane!
Where do I even begin?
Man, you should've seen me!
That boulder was comin' at me,
and I just jumped for it!
And then, the tiles were
going like...
# bing bong bing! #
And I was like,
"I see what's going on here!"
And I thought, "there's no
way I could've been ready
for all that fire and lava
and spikes," but I did it!
I really... did it.
I... you guys are the best.
Thank you so much
for doing this for me.
- This was just what I needed.
- Oh, Steven.
Aww! Shucks, guy!
- Mmm.
- I'm so proud of you.
Yeah! You da man!
I knew you could do It.