Steven Universe (2013–…): Season 1, Episode 32 - Fusion Cuisine - full transcript
Connies parents want to meet Stevens family.
~ Fora Temer ~
Doctor, it's my son.
There was an accident. I ...
- I know what we have to do. Nurse!
- Yes, doctor?
Prep the patient for emergency
surgery. We're gonna go...
- under the knife.
- Ugh! This show is so good!
Thank you so much for letting me
watch "Under the knife" here, Steven.
- How come you can't watch the show at home?
- My mom says this doesn't
represent a real emergency room.
How did his legs...
get into... his brain?!
She just doesn't
understand that it's satire.
- Is that your phone?
- It's probably my mom. Called it.
Hi, mother. It's Connie.
Mm-hmm. Yes, ma'am.
I'm at the home of
Steven Universe. Mm-hmm.
Yes, ma'am. We're ...
we're just hanging out.
Oh. Steven's parents.
They're, uh ...
they're in the other room.
You would like to talk to
Steven's mom?
Oh, okay. Hold on a moment.
That's gonna be
pretty hard since my mom
gave up her physical form to make me.
I can't tell her that.
Garnet, quick ... you have to pretend
- to be my mom to Connie's mom.
- Hello.
This... is mom Universe.
Yes. The children are playing swords.
Sorry ... playing with
swords. They're bleeding.
Oh, no. They are dead.
Don't call again.
Sorry. I panicked.
What do you mean,
your mom won't let you come over?
It's the midseason pre-finale
of "Under the knife"!
Steven, my parents are really upset.
They say the will not let me
see you again until they meet
- both of your parents in person.
- But that's impossible!
I know, but they want both
of our families to go out
- together for dinner.
- It sounds so... adult.
I wonder if Fish Stew pizza
will take reservations for ...
- Pearl, Garnet, dad, Amethyst ... all eight of us.
- You can't bring everybody!
- Why not?
- Because ... because... I told my parents
- you have a nuclear family.
- Nuclear?! Sure, they make stuff blow up
sometimes, but that's because
they're magic, not radioactive!
Steven, "nuclear" means two adults
and their child and/or children.
My parents think you live with
- your mother and father.
- But none of that is true.
You never told your mom and
dad about the Crystal Gems?
No, and it has to stay that way.
If they find out I lied to them,
they'll never let me
hang out with you again.
How am I supposed to choose
just one of you to bring to dinner?
- You're all so... cool!
- Why does it have to be dinner?
We get all the energy
we need from our gems,
and while our human constructs
are capable of eating,
- I find it very uncomfortable.
- I love eating!
Feels weird.
Okay, okay, okay. Let's focus.
Which of you would make the
best and most nuclear mom?
Garnet, you keep us safe by
scaring off the bad guys,
just like a mom would.
But you're not the
best conversationalist.
Amethyst, you would be a
superfun mom!
- Can moms be gross?
- Why not?
Pearl! You're
always worried about me, you
teach me lots of stuff, you're
approachable, and you're,
- like, totally not gross.
- Uh...
But you can't eat dinner.
Man, why did Connie
have to say I have one
- mother instead of zero... or three?
- We'll figure this thing out.
We just have to put our heads together.
Why didn't I
think of this before?
It's so obvious! You can
all come to dinner ...
- all three of you, fused into one!
- What?!
- Whoa!
- What?
Steven, you know we
only fuse in deadly situations!
It'd be like ... like I'm
actually bringing my whole family!
- That's insane.
- Fusion is serious magic,
- not a trick for dinner parties.
- I know.
Then I guess this is it.
I'll never get to see Connie again.
Oh, Connie! I'll never know a
star that shines as bright as you.
We have no choice.
We've been waiting for nearly
20 minutes.
- Uh... oh.
- Hi, Connie!
Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Maheswaran!
- Thanks... honeybuns.
- You're welcome... Greg.
I'm Greg Universe.
And this massive drink of
water is my wife, Alexandrite.
Hi-i-i-i-i-i.
I hope this place has
unlimited breadsticks.
Don't be rude.
Bleh.
Isn't my wife a riot?
So, tell me ... how did you two meet?
- Huh? How did we meet? Well, we, um ...
- They met on a roller coaster!
- She was too tall to ride!
- Uh...
I remember it like it was
yesterday. Right, honey?
- Eh... sorry.
- Have some more breadsticks... dear.
What is it that you two do
for a living, Mr. and Mrs. Universe?
Well, you see, I own a local car
wash, and my sweet, dear wife here ...
My mom works on an apple farm!
- What did we say about heads on the table?
- She uses all her arms
to pick apples out of huge trees.
Well, you know what they say ...
an apple a day keeps the doctor away.
- Yes. I hate doctors.
- Well, I'm a doctor.
Steven, help me find the restroom!
Things are going
pretty good so far, huh?
Steven, are you kidding me?!
What is this thing that
you brought to dinner?!
It ... it's my family.
It's all the gems
fused together into a
six-armed, giant woman.
- Why couldn't you just bring one of the gems?
- 'Cause that would
- be a lie. Your glasses.
- What about them?
I healed your eyes. You
don't even need to wear those anymore.
- What are you talking about?
- All that stuff you told your parents
- about my family ... you're just ashamed of me!
- Oh, whatever, Steven.
Let's just focus on
getting through the evening.
So, Steven was telling
me that on his mom's apple
farm, they're bioengineering
a gala-fuji hybrid.
- Definitely true.
- Isn't that right, Mrs. Universe?
Ugh! What are you doing?
- I'm hungry!
- I don't think so. Cut it out, you two.
Stop! You don't have to eat it!
Steven!
Ohh. Thank you so much.
You don't know how horrified
it was when that dreck
nearly fell into our mouths.
Eating food is so
disgusting! You chew it into
nasty mush, swallow
that goop, and it comes
out of you? What a
completely horrid experience!
Uh, speak for yourself.
Ha! I love it when mush
- passes through my body.
- It doesn't matter what you two think.
We're doing this for Steven!
What is going on here?
- Who are they?!
- I knew I should have trusted
my bad feelings about
this new friend of yours, but
I never thought I wouldn't be
able to trust my own daughter.
Connie!
Connie.
Steven, I'm so sorry.
It's not that I'm ashamed of you.
I was so worried that my parents would
think all this magic stuff is weird.
What if they don't let me hang
out with you anymore?
I-I'm sorry I messed everything up.
I wish there was a way we could
just hang out without
- having to worry about stuff.
- Steven, let's just hop on a bus
- and live somewhere else without telling anyone!
- That's a great idea!
- Where's this bus taking us?
- Wherever we end up.
We'll find a way to survive. I've
been reading about sustainable living.
- Maybe it'll take us to a real apple farm!
- What's up with you
- and apples today?
- Huh?
Steve-e-e-n!
You two, come
out of that bus, this instant!
Okay!
J-just put the bus down first.
I don't even know where to begin
- with you, young la...
- What were you thinking,
running off with Connie like that?
You could have gotten
- yourselves hurt!
- Or gotten mangled in traffic.
- Or thrown in prison.
- Steven, you are in very big trouble,
- and we have no choice but to punish you.
- But...
- No dinner for 1,000 years.
- 1,000?
We would never starve you,
but you will lose your TV
privileges... for 1,000 years.
No! The midseason
pre-finale of "Under the knife"!
How can you do this to me?!
Because we love you, Steven.
Wow. That was a masterful use of
the "because we love you" shutdown.
I'm quite partial to the
"it's for your own good" myself.
That "1,000 years of no dinner" bit...
was pretty funny.
All comedy is derived from fear.
- You are too much.
- I did not know what to make
of the two of ...
excuse me ... four of you,
but I see that you are
responsible parents ...
uh, caregivers? Guardians.
So, I can still hang out with Steven?
- Sure.
- All right!
Uh...
Doctor, it's my son.
There was an accident. I ...
- I know what we have to do. Nurse!
- Yes, doctor?
Prep the patient for emergency
surgery. We're gonna go...
- under the knife.
- Ugh! This show is so good!
Thank you so much for letting me
watch "Under the knife" here, Steven.
- How come you can't watch the show at home?
- My mom says this doesn't
represent a real emergency room.
How did his legs...
get into... his brain?!
She just doesn't
understand that it's satire.
- Is that your phone?
- It's probably my mom. Called it.
Hi, mother. It's Connie.
Mm-hmm. Yes, ma'am.
I'm at the home of
Steven Universe. Mm-hmm.
Yes, ma'am. We're ...
we're just hanging out.
Oh. Steven's parents.
They're, uh ...
they're in the other room.
You would like to talk to
Steven's mom?
Oh, okay. Hold on a moment.
That's gonna be
pretty hard since my mom
gave up her physical form to make me.
I can't tell her that.
Garnet, quick ... you have to pretend
- to be my mom to Connie's mom.
- Hello.
This... is mom Universe.
Yes. The children are playing swords.
Sorry ... playing with
swords. They're bleeding.
Oh, no. They are dead.
Don't call again.
Sorry. I panicked.
What do you mean,
your mom won't let you come over?
It's the midseason pre-finale
of "Under the knife"!
Steven, my parents are really upset.
They say the will not let me
see you again until they meet
- both of your parents in person.
- But that's impossible!
I know, but they want both
of our families to go out
- together for dinner.
- It sounds so... adult.
I wonder if Fish Stew pizza
will take reservations for ...
- Pearl, Garnet, dad, Amethyst ... all eight of us.
- You can't bring everybody!
- Why not?
- Because ... because... I told my parents
- you have a nuclear family.
- Nuclear?! Sure, they make stuff blow up
sometimes, but that's because
they're magic, not radioactive!
Steven, "nuclear" means two adults
and their child and/or children.
My parents think you live with
- your mother and father.
- But none of that is true.
You never told your mom and
dad about the Crystal Gems?
No, and it has to stay that way.
If they find out I lied to them,
they'll never let me
hang out with you again.
How am I supposed to choose
just one of you to bring to dinner?
- You're all so... cool!
- Why does it have to be dinner?
We get all the energy
we need from our gems,
and while our human constructs
are capable of eating,
- I find it very uncomfortable.
- I love eating!
Feels weird.
Okay, okay, okay. Let's focus.
Which of you would make the
best and most nuclear mom?
Garnet, you keep us safe by
scaring off the bad guys,
just like a mom would.
But you're not the
best conversationalist.
Amethyst, you would be a
superfun mom!
- Can moms be gross?
- Why not?
Pearl! You're
always worried about me, you
teach me lots of stuff, you're
approachable, and you're,
- like, totally not gross.
- Uh...
But you can't eat dinner.
Man, why did Connie
have to say I have one
- mother instead of zero... or three?
- We'll figure this thing out.
We just have to put our heads together.
Why didn't I
think of this before?
It's so obvious! You can
all come to dinner ...
- all three of you, fused into one!
- What?!
- Whoa!
- What?
Steven, you know we
only fuse in deadly situations!
It'd be like ... like I'm
actually bringing my whole family!
- That's insane.
- Fusion is serious magic,
- not a trick for dinner parties.
- I know.
Then I guess this is it.
I'll never get to see Connie again.
Oh, Connie! I'll never know a
star that shines as bright as you.
We have no choice.
We've been waiting for nearly
20 minutes.
- Uh... oh.
- Hi, Connie!
Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Maheswaran!
- Thanks... honeybuns.
- You're welcome... Greg.
I'm Greg Universe.
And this massive drink of
water is my wife, Alexandrite.
Hi-i-i-i-i-i.
I hope this place has
unlimited breadsticks.
Don't be rude.
Bleh.
Isn't my wife a riot?
So, tell me ... how did you two meet?
- Huh? How did we meet? Well, we, um ...
- They met on a roller coaster!
- She was too tall to ride!
- Uh...
I remember it like it was
yesterday. Right, honey?
- Eh... sorry.
- Have some more breadsticks... dear.
What is it that you two do
for a living, Mr. and Mrs. Universe?
Well, you see, I own a local car
wash, and my sweet, dear wife here ...
My mom works on an apple farm!
- What did we say about heads on the table?
- She uses all her arms
to pick apples out of huge trees.
Well, you know what they say ...
an apple a day keeps the doctor away.
- Yes. I hate doctors.
- Well, I'm a doctor.
Steven, help me find the restroom!
Things are going
pretty good so far, huh?
Steven, are you kidding me?!
What is this thing that
you brought to dinner?!
It ... it's my family.
It's all the gems
fused together into a
six-armed, giant woman.
- Why couldn't you just bring one of the gems?
- 'Cause that would
- be a lie. Your glasses.
- What about them?
I healed your eyes. You
don't even need to wear those anymore.
- What are you talking about?
- All that stuff you told your parents
- about my family ... you're just ashamed of me!
- Oh, whatever, Steven.
Let's just focus on
getting through the evening.
So, Steven was telling
me that on his mom's apple
farm, they're bioengineering
a gala-fuji hybrid.
- Definitely true.
- Isn't that right, Mrs. Universe?
Ugh! What are you doing?
- I'm hungry!
- I don't think so. Cut it out, you two.
Stop! You don't have to eat it!
Steven!
Ohh. Thank you so much.
You don't know how horrified
it was when that dreck
nearly fell into our mouths.
Eating food is so
disgusting! You chew it into
nasty mush, swallow
that goop, and it comes
out of you? What a
completely horrid experience!
Uh, speak for yourself.
Ha! I love it when mush
- passes through my body.
- It doesn't matter what you two think.
We're doing this for Steven!
What is going on here?
- Who are they?!
- I knew I should have trusted
my bad feelings about
this new friend of yours, but
I never thought I wouldn't be
able to trust my own daughter.
Connie!
Connie.
Steven, I'm so sorry.
It's not that I'm ashamed of you.
I was so worried that my parents would
think all this magic stuff is weird.
What if they don't let me hang
out with you anymore?
I-I'm sorry I messed everything up.
I wish there was a way we could
just hang out without
- having to worry about stuff.
- Steven, let's just hop on a bus
- and live somewhere else without telling anyone!
- That's a great idea!
- Where's this bus taking us?
- Wherever we end up.
We'll find a way to survive. I've
been reading about sustainable living.
- Maybe it'll take us to a real apple farm!
- What's up with you
- and apples today?
- Huh?
Steve-e-e-n!
You two, come
out of that bus, this instant!
Okay!
J-just put the bus down first.
I don't even know where to begin
- with you, young la...
- What were you thinking,
running off with Connie like that?
You could have gotten
- yourselves hurt!
- Or gotten mangled in traffic.
- Or thrown in prison.
- Steven, you are in very big trouble,
- and we have no choice but to punish you.
- But...
- No dinner for 1,000 years.
- 1,000?
We would never starve you,
but you will lose your TV
privileges... for 1,000 years.
No! The midseason
pre-finale of "Under the knife"!
How can you do this to me?!
Because we love you, Steven.
Wow. That was a masterful use of
the "because we love you" shutdown.
I'm quite partial to the
"it's for your own good" myself.
That "1,000 years of no dinner" bit...
was pretty funny.
All comedy is derived from fear.
- You are too much.
- I did not know what to make
of the two of ...
excuse me ... four of you,
but I see that you are
responsible parents ...
uh, caregivers? Guardians.
So, I can still hang out with Steven?
- Sure.
- All right!
Uh...