Steven Universe (2013–…): Season 1, Episode 31 - Keep Beach City Weird! - full transcript
Keep Beach City Weird!: Steven gets caught up in Ronaldo's paranormal theories about the strange occurrences in Beach City.
♪ We are the Crystal Gems ♪
♪ we'll always save the day ♪
♪ and if you think we can't ♪
♪ we'll always find a way ♪
- # that's why the people #
- # of this world #
- # believe in... #
- # Garnet #
- # Amethyst #
- # and Pearl #
♪ And Steven! ♪
1x31 - "Keep Beach City Weird!"
Fora Temer ~
Pearl!
Help me! Save me!
Help me! Save me!
- What on Earth?
- Tag! You're it!
Care to explain ...
Ugh! ... What's going on here?
It's Steven tag.
Steven tagged you.
- Now you have to turn into Steven.
- It's the rules.
- Oh, please.
- Aw, no fair!
So, that means we're out of players.
Get ready for Steven tag.
Advance ... Unh!
Tag.
Garnet wins.
♪ I guess I can win
every game of Steven tag ♪
♪ it may be my name ♪
♪ but it's just not my game ♪
Stop! This is a restricted zone!
Only those with special
clearance may enter!
- May...I have special clearance?
- Hmm. Granted.
Now that you're properly suited,
let's investigate!
See those holes? Their shape and
pattern is repeated over and over.
Some might say it's coincidence.
I say there's something... more!
- Like what? A double coincidence?
- You'd already be in the know
If you followed my blog ...
Keep Beach City weird!
I document all the weird
things that happen in
Beach City! You can't
always trust facts and books!
I'm out here hunting the truth!
Oh, there you are! Dad
wants you back at the shop!
- You're missing out on valuable frying time!
- It's weird time, Peedee!
- I'm doing big stuff! Cover for me!
- Fine.
But this is the last time, or
I'm telling dad! Big stuff...
- I'll give you big stuff.
- So, you want to get your hands really dirty?
- Then follow me.
- Yeah!
- I can't wait to find something paranormal!
- Shh! I'm picking up a quantum flux
- on the weirdometer. There!
- Whoa!
Did they fall from the sky?
My research suggests they
grew up from the ground.
- Ronaldo! Look at this.
- According to an online
encyclopedia, which I am
a user/editor of, this species
isn't indigenous to this region.
Or this dimension-sion-sion-sion!
We live in a strange world, Steven ...
stranger than most know ...
stranger than they care to know.
Take my brother, for instance.
He's always getting on my case,
telling me to work more.
He'll never understand.
But, Steven, I can tell you're like me.
- Yeah!
- I know you're someone I can trust.
You're ready for what
I've found ... The cause of
- Beach City's paranormal activity.
- Wait. What?
Welcome to my office. Go that way.
Welcome... to the truth.
- Snake people?!
- Snake people, or "sneople",
control our government at
the highest level.
Look, the snake represents
their hold on our country.
The diamond represents their
underground mines or their sharp teeth.
The details aren't important!
They pit us mammals against each
other with elections, sports,
and anime message boards.
We spend so much time
fighting over "dubs" or "subs"
that we miss the big picture!
- What's that?
- That the world is under their control.
Steven, don't slam the door!
Amethyst! Pearl!
We need to snake-proof the house!
- Why?
- To stop the Snake people!
Uh... Snake people?!
What's so funny
about Sneople?! Look at this!
That must be from when we
fought those drill parasites on the beach.
- Wha? Well, what about this?
- That looks like pieces
- of that red eye that we blew up.
- Well, what about this?!
Oh, it's the flowers from Rose's moss!
Is all the weird stuff that
happens at Beach City because of us?
- Well, yeah, obviously.
- I need some air.
- Ronaldo?
- Steven! Did you see this crater?
I think the snake people might
have left it as a sign.
- Yeah... Uh, Ronaldo?
- Yes, Steven?
Are you totally sure
about this snake people thing?
- Steven, are you having doubts?
- Not really just... doubts.
I found out those weird
holes in the cliff were 'cause of
something me and the gems did.
- Well, okay, but those red rocks ...
- That was us.
- But... the flowers.
- Us too.
- But ... But the truth!
- Maybe the truth
just isn't what you thought it was.
Sure it is! Don't get so
hung up on these minor facts.
Truth is about more than that.
Truth is a feeling in your
gut that you know is true.
Truth is searching for anything
that proves you're right,
no matter how small, and holding
on to that, no matter what.
That kind of sounds
like the opposite of truth.
Look! The proof!
This cast will show the
true face of this conspiracy!
- Oh, huh?
- That's probably from Steven tag.
- What?!
- It's a game where, when I tag one
- of the gems, they ...
- I'm really not at the center of anything.
I'm nothing.
- What's wrong, Steven?
- I think I broke Ronaldo's heart.
Oh, Steven. Humans
just lead short, boring,
insignificant lives,
so they make up stories
to feel like they're a
part of something bigger.
They want to blame all
the world's problems
on some single enemy
they can fight instead of
a complex network of interrelated
forces beyond anyone's control.
It's sad. And funny!
Don't feel bad about it, okay?
It's not like he was
ever going to be right.
- Steven? Where are you going?
- I'm gonna go fix Ronaldo!
I'll be back in an hour.
Yo, Ronaldo!
Eh, so...
See anything weird lately?
No. Everything's normal.
Snakemen are real, and we're
puppeting the gov'ment!
Wakey wakey, mister snakey.
Wave forms seem typical
for a 12th-Dimensional
being of this size.
Arms appear to be... vestigial.
R-Ronaldo? Is that...
one of the monster people
you've been hunting?
No, no, not monster, Peedee.
Snerson.
It's very scientific! Still...
- Better safe than sorry.
- What's this for?
For me, in case the
amphibinoids turn my body
- into a host vessel!
- Nooo!
Peedee, Peedee, Peedee!
You got to look at the big picture here!
Something important is finally
happening to me!
- Hello.
- We know you have our Steven!
Give him up, curly!
You snake people...
hiding like cowards in your
false humanoid exteriors!
Steven's got nothing to do with this!
It's me you want! Ohh!
You Snonster!
Steven?!
Okay, okay!
You've forced me to use my
ultimate weapon! Stand back!
Psychic ghost powers...
activate!
- Everybody stop! I'm okay!
- Nice pants.
Steven, your legs!
When did they get to you?
Ronaldo! It's not real!
It was just me... again.
That... makes no sense.
I just wanted to inspire
Ronaldo to be weird again.
No! It ... It just isn't that simple!
There's got to be more to it
- than just... you!
- Um...
But there is more!
Steven is just uh...
uh... a small piece of the puzzle.
Look at this! I think it's
got to be... um...
- level-8 beings pulling the strings.
- Get real, Peedee.
Level-8 beings are a worker society
incapable of such organization.
Whoa. Wait a minute!
How did I never see this before?!
I know what the diamond means.
Polymorphic-sentient rocks!
- You sure he'll be better like that?
- Yeah. He's happy, you know?
- Yeah.
- They're here to hollow out the Earth!
It's part of
the great diamond authority!
They'll take on any form!
You can read all about it on my blog!
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
♪ we'll always save the day ♪
♪ and if you think we can't ♪
♪ we'll always find a way ♪
- # that's why the people #
- # of this world #
- # believe in... #
- # Garnet #
- # Amethyst #
- # and Pearl #
♪ And Steven! ♪
1x31 - "Keep Beach City Weird!"
Fora Temer ~
Pearl!
Help me! Save me!
Help me! Save me!
- What on Earth?
- Tag! You're it!
Care to explain ...
Ugh! ... What's going on here?
It's Steven tag.
Steven tagged you.
- Now you have to turn into Steven.
- It's the rules.
- Oh, please.
- Aw, no fair!
So, that means we're out of players.
Get ready for Steven tag.
Advance ... Unh!
Tag.
Garnet wins.
♪ I guess I can win
every game of Steven tag ♪
♪ it may be my name ♪
♪ but it's just not my game ♪
Stop! This is a restricted zone!
Only those with special
clearance may enter!
- May...I have special clearance?
- Hmm. Granted.
Now that you're properly suited,
let's investigate!
See those holes? Their shape and
pattern is repeated over and over.
Some might say it's coincidence.
I say there's something... more!
- Like what? A double coincidence?
- You'd already be in the know
If you followed my blog ...
Keep Beach City weird!
I document all the weird
things that happen in
Beach City! You can't
always trust facts and books!
I'm out here hunting the truth!
Oh, there you are! Dad
wants you back at the shop!
- You're missing out on valuable frying time!
- It's weird time, Peedee!
- I'm doing big stuff! Cover for me!
- Fine.
But this is the last time, or
I'm telling dad! Big stuff...
- I'll give you big stuff.
- So, you want to get your hands really dirty?
- Then follow me.
- Yeah!
- I can't wait to find something paranormal!
- Shh! I'm picking up a quantum flux
- on the weirdometer. There!
- Whoa!
Did they fall from the sky?
My research suggests they
grew up from the ground.
- Ronaldo! Look at this.
- According to an online
encyclopedia, which I am
a user/editor of, this species
isn't indigenous to this region.
Or this dimension-sion-sion-sion!
We live in a strange world, Steven ...
stranger than most know ...
stranger than they care to know.
Take my brother, for instance.
He's always getting on my case,
telling me to work more.
He'll never understand.
But, Steven, I can tell you're like me.
- Yeah!
- I know you're someone I can trust.
You're ready for what
I've found ... The cause of
- Beach City's paranormal activity.
- Wait. What?
Welcome to my office. Go that way.
Welcome... to the truth.
- Snake people?!
- Snake people, or "sneople",
control our government at
the highest level.
Look, the snake represents
their hold on our country.
The diamond represents their
underground mines or their sharp teeth.
The details aren't important!
They pit us mammals against each
other with elections, sports,
and anime message boards.
We spend so much time
fighting over "dubs" or "subs"
that we miss the big picture!
- What's that?
- That the world is under their control.
Steven, don't slam the door!
Amethyst! Pearl!
We need to snake-proof the house!
- Why?
- To stop the Snake people!
Uh... Snake people?!
What's so funny
about Sneople?! Look at this!
That must be from when we
fought those drill parasites on the beach.
- Wha? Well, what about this?
- That looks like pieces
- of that red eye that we blew up.
- Well, what about this?!
Oh, it's the flowers from Rose's moss!
Is all the weird stuff that
happens at Beach City because of us?
- Well, yeah, obviously.
- I need some air.
- Ronaldo?
- Steven! Did you see this crater?
I think the snake people might
have left it as a sign.
- Yeah... Uh, Ronaldo?
- Yes, Steven?
Are you totally sure
about this snake people thing?
- Steven, are you having doubts?
- Not really just... doubts.
I found out those weird
holes in the cliff were 'cause of
something me and the gems did.
- Well, okay, but those red rocks ...
- That was us.
- But... the flowers.
- Us too.
- But ... But the truth!
- Maybe the truth
just isn't what you thought it was.
Sure it is! Don't get so
hung up on these minor facts.
Truth is about more than that.
Truth is a feeling in your
gut that you know is true.
Truth is searching for anything
that proves you're right,
no matter how small, and holding
on to that, no matter what.
That kind of sounds
like the opposite of truth.
Look! The proof!
This cast will show the
true face of this conspiracy!
- Oh, huh?
- That's probably from Steven tag.
- What?!
- It's a game where, when I tag one
- of the gems, they ...
- I'm really not at the center of anything.
I'm nothing.
- What's wrong, Steven?
- I think I broke Ronaldo's heart.
Oh, Steven. Humans
just lead short, boring,
insignificant lives,
so they make up stories
to feel like they're a
part of something bigger.
They want to blame all
the world's problems
on some single enemy
they can fight instead of
a complex network of interrelated
forces beyond anyone's control.
It's sad. And funny!
Don't feel bad about it, okay?
It's not like he was
ever going to be right.
- Steven? Where are you going?
- I'm gonna go fix Ronaldo!
I'll be back in an hour.
Yo, Ronaldo!
Eh, so...
See anything weird lately?
No. Everything's normal.
Snakemen are real, and we're
puppeting the gov'ment!
Wakey wakey, mister snakey.
Wave forms seem typical
for a 12th-Dimensional
being of this size.
Arms appear to be... vestigial.
R-Ronaldo? Is that...
one of the monster people
you've been hunting?
No, no, not monster, Peedee.
Snerson.
It's very scientific! Still...
- Better safe than sorry.
- What's this for?
For me, in case the
amphibinoids turn my body
- into a host vessel!
- Nooo!
Peedee, Peedee, Peedee!
You got to look at the big picture here!
Something important is finally
happening to me!
- Hello.
- We know you have our Steven!
Give him up, curly!
You snake people...
hiding like cowards in your
false humanoid exteriors!
Steven's got nothing to do with this!
It's me you want! Ohh!
You Snonster!
Steven?!
Okay, okay!
You've forced me to use my
ultimate weapon! Stand back!
Psychic ghost powers...
activate!
- Everybody stop! I'm okay!
- Nice pants.
Steven, your legs!
When did they get to you?
Ronaldo! It's not real!
It was just me... again.
That... makes no sense.
I just wanted to inspire
Ronaldo to be weird again.
No! It ... It just isn't that simple!
There's got to be more to it
- than just... you!
- Um...
But there is more!
Steven is just uh...
uh... a small piece of the puzzle.
Look at this! I think it's
got to be... um...
- level-8 beings pulling the strings.
- Get real, Peedee.
Level-8 beings are a worker society
incapable of such organization.
Whoa. Wait a minute!
How did I never see this before?!
I know what the diamond means.
Polymorphic-sentient rocks!
- You sure he'll be better like that?
- Yeah. He's happy, you know?
- Yeah.
- They're here to hollow out the Earth!
It's part of
the great diamond authority!
They'll take on any form!
You can read all about it on my blog!
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.