Steven Universe (2013–…): Season 1, Episode 22 - Steven and the Stevens - full transcript
Steven needs a musical partner for an upcoming show, and uses a time travel device to recruit the perfect bandmate: himself.
- Hey! How 'bout this one here?!
- What one?
This little one!
It's adorb-able.
Steven, the
legendary glass of time
won't be nearly so
small and insignificant.
It'll be beautiful and
grand, like this one!
- I think it's this one.
- Whoa!
You mean the biggest one?!
How are we even supposed to get
that back to the warp pad?
- I can carry it.
- Wait!
We need to be careful
which one we touch!
You remember what happened
last time we were here.
- What happened?
- Hey, guys!
I'm makin' the call, and it's
this janky one here!
Amethyst!
Uh...
Nope, it wasn't.
- Look out!
- Whoa! Ugh!
We don't have much time!
- Amethyst, come on!
- Steven!
W-Where do you think you're going?!
Amethyst gets to keep hers!
- Darn tootin'!
- I'm gonna get the one I picked out!
- Steven!
- Steven!
My name's Steven.
- You're gonna live with me.
- Steven, come on!
I'm a-comin'!
I'm a-comin'!
Hang on.
- Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up.
- Gotcha.
Well done, Garnet!
Hot potato!
- We're doing that again, right?!
- Unfortunately, we'll
have to wait another
hundred years for the
sea shrine to reform
'cause somebody couldn't
keep their hands to themselves.
You have a lobster on your butt.
Huh? Eee!
Beach-a-palooza!
- Beach-a-wha-whozaa?
- Palooza.
That was a lot of fun, you guys.
I'll see you later!
After you, sir.
Buh-bye!
Yep.
- Mm-hmm.
- Dad! Dad!
Are you ready to rehearse?
Whoa!
Uhh...
We're having a bit of a day.
- Is it stuck?
- Yeah.
Why does a boat need
a car wash?
Huh!
Sorry, buddy.
I don't think I can play
in the concert tonight.
I got to deal with this.
You're bailing on
beach-a-palooza?!
- But the whole town's gonna be there!
- Steven, that's like 15 people.
Next time, bud, I promise.
All right, maybe if you bring it
- forward a little bit.
- Stupid boat gettin' all stuck.
Nobody likes you, boat!
Wish I could've been there to
tell my dad you were too fat!
That's it. Just back her in.
- She'll definitely fit.
- What the...
- Dad! Dad!
- Hey, Stu-ball.
- You excited for beach-a-palooza!
- Dad! Dad!
Fat, it's fat!
Fat, fat, fat!
- Rude!
- Not you! The boat!
- The boat!
- Huh? Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
- Stop!
- Huh?
Nice catch, Steven!
The thing!
You took me back in time,
didn't you?!
Oh, man.
Pearl's gonna flip when she
finds out you were the real one!
Look, I'm sorry, but the
boat's fat!
Oh, no! Your truck!
Oh! Whoa!
Gotta save the van!
I wish I could go back and
stop myself from stopping my dad!
That's it. Just back her in.
- She'll definitely fit.
- What the...
Dad! Dad!
What?
- Shh!
- Future Steven?
Listen,
two-minutes-ago Steven.
We can't go around trying to
change time stuff.
It just makes things worse!
- Oh, no! How did this happen?!
- Aww, man.
I really wanted to play at
beach-a-palooza!
Too bad you and I can't be in a band.
Wait a minute!
Steven!
Steven?
Steven?
What's going on?
- No time to explain!
- Wanna join our band?!
Yes! But didn't
dad say he would play with us?
He had an
emergency at the car wash.
- We should go help him!
- No!
There's nothing we can do.
The boat's fat, trust us.
Okay, so, who's our fourth?
- We need a drummer.
- Not a problem, Steven.
Hey, it's the time thing ...
"Steven and the Stevens"
♪ can't you see it in my eyes? ♪
♪ I'm the one, I'm the one ♪
- 2!
- 3!
- 4!
- # I'm not like the other guys #
- # he's not like anybody #
- # ahh, ahh #
♪ well, that's not completely right ♪
♪ there's a few that I'm just like ♪
♪ Steven and the Stevens ♪
- # ahh, ahh, ahh #
- # we're gonna make you smile #
♪ me, myself, and I, and him ♪
- # are all the same guy #
- # Steven and the Stevens #
♪ come on, now, don't Be shy ♪
♪ me, myself ♪
♪ and I and him ♪
- That's me!
- # are all the same guy #
Hey!
Great singing, Steven!
- Thanks, Steven!
- Can I sing lead this time?
Well, I usually sing
lead vocals when I play with dad.
- So do I!
- Me, too!
Me, too, too!
We all do! We're all Steven!
Well, one of us has
got to be the band leader!
- Hmm.
- Hmm.
Oh! The leader
should be the original Steven!
- The one that's been around the longest!
- Yeah! All right!
- That's a good idea!
- Oh, ho, ho! - Mh-mm.
Done and done!
Steven 2, you're the smart one.
Steven 3, you're the funny one.
Steven 4, you're the sensitive one.
And I'm...
...the handsome one!
Okay?
- Okay!
- Okey-dokey, artichokey!
Steven 4, what are you doing?!
You're not the funny one!
- Steven 3 is!
- Well, we're all the
same person, so we're all
equally prone
- to being hilarious.
- No, no!
That was too smart an observation
for you, 3! You're the funny one!
- Wait, which one am I again?
- Dang it, number 2,
- you're the smart one!
- Hey, if Steven 1 is
the handsome one, does that
mean the rest of us
- aren't good-looking?
- No way!
- We're all extremely attractive!
- Let's go get jobs as models!
Hey!
None of you are the handsome one!
I'm the handsome one!
Ah! No! I didn't mean ...
we decided...
Let's take five.
- There's a 5th Steven?
- No!
I mean a five-minute break!
We know.
I can't believe it.
I'm so... annoying!
Maybe it's time for me to quit
the music business.
♪ Steven! ♪
♪ Ste-Ste-Ste Steven! ♪
♪ Ste-Ste-Ste Steven! ♪
- # Ste-Ste-Ste Steven! #
- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
- What's all this noise?!
- # Ste-Ste-Ste ... #
I thought we agreed
that Steven and the Stevens was
gonna be a light-hearted
throwback to early rock 'n' roll,
not this mess of screaming
and distortion!
Look, Steven. Steven and
I were talking, and Steven agrees.
- Your attitude just isn't working for us.
- We've been a lot
- more productive without you.
- We already wrote an
angsty song about that time you
made us feel bad
- for not being handsome.
- You're kicking me out
of the band?!
Wait. Who's playing drums?
Amethyst said she'd do it.
- I'm down for whatever.
- Oh, come on!
♪ Steven's a big, fat meanie ♪
♪ a big fat meanie zucchini ♪
- Whoa, dude.
- Listen up!
You can't kick me out of the band!
I'm the original Steven.
I created you!
Steven and the Stevens was my idea!
Without me, you'd all be nothing!
That's it.
Steven, no!
Wish I could have been there
to tell my dad you were too ...
Don't start the band, Steven.
It'll only tear us apart.
Ho, ho!
We all have time things!
You'll never catch me, you turkeys! Ha!
We got to stop me.
I'm okay, guys.
I just ... wha...
Too far back!
Huh?
Just take me back to the beginning.
Amethyst gets to keep hers!
- Darn tootin'!
- I'm gonna get the one I picked out!
- Steven!
- Steven!
My name's Steven.
Stop right there!
- Give me the time thing, Steven.
- Wait. Are you future me?
Just hurry up and give it!
Huh?
Wha...
Don't make me hurt me, Steven.
Why do you need it so bad?
Just give it to me!
Give it up, Steven!
I know everything you're gonna
do before you do it!
Huh?
12, 13, 14,
15, 16, 17, 18...
Uh...
Stop it!
Huh? What?
- Huh?
- Look around you.
This isn't right.
When Steven fights Steven,
who is the winner?
What have we become?
- What is it?
- What's wrong with us?
- What have we become?
- We're not the Stevens
we once were.
And to fix that, I have to end it!
Steven, please!
You got to ...
Steven, dad can't
play beach-a-palooza with you.
The boat's fat.
You got to find another way.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
Stay cool forever, Steven.
Mwah.
Arrivederci.
♪ can't you
see it in our eyes? ♪
- # we're the one, we're the one #
- # two #
- # three #
- # four #
♪ we're not like the other guys ♪
♪ we're not like anybody ♪
- # ahh #
- # by the way, don't go back in time #
- # ahh #
- # or you'll destroy yourself #
♪ Steven and the Crystal Gems ♪
♪ we're gonna make you smile ♪
♪ I accidentally created an
alternate timeline ♪
♪ Steven and the Crystal Gems ♪
♪ come on now, don't be shy ♪
♪ I learned to stay true to myself ♪
♪ by watching myself die ♪
- What one?
This little one!
It's adorb-able.
Steven, the
legendary glass of time
won't be nearly so
small and insignificant.
It'll be beautiful and
grand, like this one!
- I think it's this one.
- Whoa!
You mean the biggest one?!
How are we even supposed to get
that back to the warp pad?
- I can carry it.
- Wait!
We need to be careful
which one we touch!
You remember what happened
last time we were here.
- What happened?
- Hey, guys!
I'm makin' the call, and it's
this janky one here!
Amethyst!
Uh...
Nope, it wasn't.
- Look out!
- Whoa! Ugh!
We don't have much time!
- Amethyst, come on!
- Steven!
W-Where do you think you're going?!
Amethyst gets to keep hers!
- Darn tootin'!
- I'm gonna get the one I picked out!
- Steven!
- Steven!
My name's Steven.
- You're gonna live with me.
- Steven, come on!
I'm a-comin'!
I'm a-comin'!
Hang on.
- Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up. Hurry up.
- Gotcha.
Well done, Garnet!
Hot potato!
- We're doing that again, right?!
- Unfortunately, we'll
have to wait another
hundred years for the
sea shrine to reform
'cause somebody couldn't
keep their hands to themselves.
You have a lobster on your butt.
Huh? Eee!
Beach-a-palooza!
- Beach-a-wha-whozaa?
- Palooza.
That was a lot of fun, you guys.
I'll see you later!
After you, sir.
Buh-bye!
Yep.
- Mm-hmm.
- Dad! Dad!
Are you ready to rehearse?
Whoa!
Uhh...
We're having a bit of a day.
- Is it stuck?
- Yeah.
Why does a boat need
a car wash?
Huh!
Sorry, buddy.
I don't think I can play
in the concert tonight.
I got to deal with this.
You're bailing on
beach-a-palooza?!
- But the whole town's gonna be there!
- Steven, that's like 15 people.
Next time, bud, I promise.
All right, maybe if you bring it
- forward a little bit.
- Stupid boat gettin' all stuck.
Nobody likes you, boat!
Wish I could've been there to
tell my dad you were too fat!
That's it. Just back her in.
- She'll definitely fit.
- What the...
- Dad! Dad!
- Hey, Stu-ball.
- You excited for beach-a-palooza!
- Dad! Dad!
Fat, it's fat!
Fat, fat, fat!
- Rude!
- Not you! The boat!
- The boat!
- Huh? Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
- Stop!
- Huh?
Nice catch, Steven!
The thing!
You took me back in time,
didn't you?!
Oh, man.
Pearl's gonna flip when she
finds out you were the real one!
Look, I'm sorry, but the
boat's fat!
Oh, no! Your truck!
Oh! Whoa!
Gotta save the van!
I wish I could go back and
stop myself from stopping my dad!
That's it. Just back her in.
- She'll definitely fit.
- What the...
Dad! Dad!
What?
- Shh!
- Future Steven?
Listen,
two-minutes-ago Steven.
We can't go around trying to
change time stuff.
It just makes things worse!
- Oh, no! How did this happen?!
- Aww, man.
I really wanted to play at
beach-a-palooza!
Too bad you and I can't be in a band.
Wait a minute!
Steven!
Steven?
Steven?
What's going on?
- No time to explain!
- Wanna join our band?!
Yes! But didn't
dad say he would play with us?
He had an
emergency at the car wash.
- We should go help him!
- No!
There's nothing we can do.
The boat's fat, trust us.
Okay, so, who's our fourth?
- We need a drummer.
- Not a problem, Steven.
Hey, it's the time thing ...
"Steven and the Stevens"
♪ can't you see it in my eyes? ♪
♪ I'm the one, I'm the one ♪
- 2!
- 3!
- 4!
- # I'm not like the other guys #
- # he's not like anybody #
- # ahh, ahh #
♪ well, that's not completely right ♪
♪ there's a few that I'm just like ♪
♪ Steven and the Stevens ♪
- # ahh, ahh, ahh #
- # we're gonna make you smile #
♪ me, myself, and I, and him ♪
- # are all the same guy #
- # Steven and the Stevens #
♪ come on, now, don't Be shy ♪
♪ me, myself ♪
♪ and I and him ♪
- That's me!
- # are all the same guy #
Hey!
Great singing, Steven!
- Thanks, Steven!
- Can I sing lead this time?
Well, I usually sing
lead vocals when I play with dad.
- So do I!
- Me, too!
Me, too, too!
We all do! We're all Steven!
Well, one of us has
got to be the band leader!
- Hmm.
- Hmm.
Oh! The leader
should be the original Steven!
- The one that's been around the longest!
- Yeah! All right!
- That's a good idea!
- Oh, ho, ho! - Mh-mm.
Done and done!
Steven 2, you're the smart one.
Steven 3, you're the funny one.
Steven 4, you're the sensitive one.
And I'm...
...the handsome one!
Okay?
- Okay!
- Okey-dokey, artichokey!
Steven 4, what are you doing?!
You're not the funny one!
- Steven 3 is!
- Well, we're all the
same person, so we're all
equally prone
- to being hilarious.
- No, no!
That was too smart an observation
for you, 3! You're the funny one!
- Wait, which one am I again?
- Dang it, number 2,
- you're the smart one!
- Hey, if Steven 1 is
the handsome one, does that
mean the rest of us
- aren't good-looking?
- No way!
- We're all extremely attractive!
- Let's go get jobs as models!
Hey!
None of you are the handsome one!
I'm the handsome one!
Ah! No! I didn't mean ...
we decided...
Let's take five.
- There's a 5th Steven?
- No!
I mean a five-minute break!
We know.
I can't believe it.
I'm so... annoying!
Maybe it's time for me to quit
the music business.
♪ Steven! ♪
♪ Ste-Ste-Ste Steven! ♪
♪ Ste-Ste-Ste Steven! ♪
- # Ste-Ste-Ste Steven! #
- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
- What's all this noise?!
- # Ste-Ste-Ste ... #
I thought we agreed
that Steven and the Stevens was
gonna be a light-hearted
throwback to early rock 'n' roll,
not this mess of screaming
and distortion!
Look, Steven. Steven and
I were talking, and Steven agrees.
- Your attitude just isn't working for us.
- We've been a lot
- more productive without you.
- We already wrote an
angsty song about that time you
made us feel bad
- for not being handsome.
- You're kicking me out
of the band?!
Wait. Who's playing drums?
Amethyst said she'd do it.
- I'm down for whatever.
- Oh, come on!
♪ Steven's a big, fat meanie ♪
♪ a big fat meanie zucchini ♪
- Whoa, dude.
- Listen up!
You can't kick me out of the band!
I'm the original Steven.
I created you!
Steven and the Stevens was my idea!
Without me, you'd all be nothing!
That's it.
Steven, no!
Wish I could have been there
to tell my dad you were too ...
Don't start the band, Steven.
It'll only tear us apart.
Ho, ho!
We all have time things!
You'll never catch me, you turkeys! Ha!
We got to stop me.
I'm okay, guys.
I just ... wha...
Too far back!
Huh?
Just take me back to the beginning.
Amethyst gets to keep hers!
- Darn tootin'!
- I'm gonna get the one I picked out!
- Steven!
- Steven!
My name's Steven.
Stop right there!
- Give me the time thing, Steven.
- Wait. Are you future me?
Just hurry up and give it!
Huh?
Wha...
Don't make me hurt me, Steven.
Why do you need it so bad?
Just give it to me!
Give it up, Steven!
I know everything you're gonna
do before you do it!
Huh?
12, 13, 14,
15, 16, 17, 18...
Uh...
Stop it!
Huh? What?
- Huh?
- Look around you.
This isn't right.
When Steven fights Steven,
who is the winner?
What have we become?
- What is it?
- What's wrong with us?
- What have we become?
- We're not the Stevens
we once were.
And to fix that, I have to end it!
Steven, please!
You got to ...
Steven, dad can't
play beach-a-palooza with you.
The boat's fat.
You got to find another way.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
Stay cool forever, Steven.
Mwah.
Arrivederci.
♪ can't you
see it in our eyes? ♪
- # we're the one, we're the one #
- # two #
- # three #
- # four #
♪ we're not like the other guys ♪
♪ we're not like anybody ♪
- # ahh #
- # by the way, don't go back in time #
- # ahh #
- # or you'll destroy yourself #
♪ Steven and the Crystal Gems ♪
♪ we're gonna make you smile ♪
♪ I accidentally created an
alternate timeline ♪
♪ Steven and the Crystal Gems ♪
♪ come on now, don't be shy ♪
♪ I learned to stay true to myself ♪
♪ by watching myself die ♪